Reddit reviews The Emotionally Absent Mother, Updated and Expanded Second Edition: How to Recognize and Heal the Invisible Effects of Childhood Emotional Neglect

There's a book- The Emotionally Absent Mother 2nd edition by Jasmin Lee Cori that you really should get. It's broken up into little sections in case you need to take breaks because the emotional work is hard. And it's loaded with journal exercises to help heal your "mom wound". After reading through it the first time, I'd recommend simply keeping it on your shelf with the pages relevant to narcissistic mothers stickied so that you have something to work through and help you stay strong during those emotionally vulnerable yearning moments. I read a library copy, but I think I'll probably get a copy of my own to add to my shelf to redo the exercises when I really feel like I need a mom.

/r/MomForAMinute is also really nice. During a couple of my hardest moments, I made posts there about what I wished I could tell my mom and I can sit and read and reread the nice messages that the mom figures of Reddit left me when I was feeling down.

Maybe having a couple resources to tackle the emotional side and not just the logical side will help. (hugs if you want them) <3

My mother was also extremely emotionally neglectful, specifically of me because she split me black/I was the scapegoat during my childhood.

When I first came on this sub, I was confused because so much of my mother's behavior and my feelings matched, but my mother was never the kind of person to pursue me like many of the stalker-type parents on this sub. She has never been diagnosed with anything, so I wasn't sure.

After further reading, I am very sure I belong here and that my mother is uBPD. The book "Understanding the Borderline Mother" helped me, although I must say I have excellent memories compared to you. Double-edged sword.

This book also helped me a lot.
https://www.amazon.com/Emotionally-Absent-Mother-Updated-Expanded/dp/1615193820/

I don't remember if the book mentions personality disorders or BPD, but it did help me understand why neglect/emotional withholding hurt me so badly and what kind of long-term damage it wrought.

My mother was a witch and waif during my childhood. As she got older, she flipped on me and cast me in the role of enmeshed (and very reluctant) Golden Child. She also turned into a waif/hermit type. She's been very withdrawn and withholding. When I lowered contact after coming out of the FOG, she escalated very slightly by causing fake emergencies, but mostly she "packed up her tent" and went back to ignoring me the same as she did during my childhood. She's done the same since I went NC.

I'd say stay here and read awhile before you decide.