Reddit Reddit reviews The Enneagram of Passions and Virtues: Finding the Way Home

We found 2 Reddit comments about The Enneagram of Passions and Virtues: Finding the Way Home. Here are the top ones, ranked by their Reddit score.

The Enneagram of Passions and Virtues: Finding the Way Home
Used Book in Good Condition
Check price on Amazon

2 Reddit comments about The Enneagram of Passions and Virtues: Finding the Way Home:

u/amayliia · 1 pointr/Enneagram

> Thank you for taking the time for explaining things for me. I can understand what you mean about perfectionism, I will have to give it greater thought.

Of course! My intention was never to force anything on you, but to make a suggestion based on my knowledge and my perceptions. I'm starting to think my perceptions may have been off, but I'll continue for the sake of the conversation. I'm not about to pass up a chance to go over this stuff, it helps reinforce the knowledge for me as well, and to know when I am wrong is also a valuable experience.

> You brought up a very interesting point about type four under stress, however in most circumstances people pleasing is a natural thing for me but if I'm extremely uncomfortable/awkward then perhaps it shows through even more. In the video I felt very comfortable complimenting Kaylia and felt it was fitting.

Well, if your compliment was genuine, then that is certainly not people pleasing. People pleasing is inherently superficial—when a person says something just to get a positive reaction with no weight or authenticity behind what they said; that is people pleasing.

> Would you be able to clarify the bold section that you said reminded you of me? I'm unsure as to how you picked that up.

I suppose I was a bit vague with that. So when I quoted that, it was in reference to when you mentioned feeling defective and flawed, and being "self-analytical", as well as what I personally observed in how you seemed to hold yourself. You seemed to be connected with your feelings, they seem to flow freely from you, rather than being all bunched up and repressed as is typical of a type one. Type ones are not generally known for being very emotive—positively or negatively speaking—they generally suppress all of it, and it tends to show in their demeanor. So, by combination of what you said and what I observed, I felt as though you still have a good connection to your feelings, but that you don't let them control you, which is more akin to a type four. So a lot of it was me reading between the lines, so to say.

There is another passage from a different book that I want to share with you. It is from The Enneagram of Passions and Virtues.

> The passion of this point of the enneagram is encompassed by the word anger, but what that term signifies is something much more broad than simply feeling peeved, resentful, or outright enraged, although these are certainly frequent emotional experiences for Ennea-type Ones. As is true of all the passions, what is meant is a general attitude, in this case one that Ichazo characterized as “standing against reality,” or as Naranjo elaborates, “a rejection of what is in terms of what is felt and believed should be.”2 This is an attitude, then, of reacting against what reality presents us with.

> Those familiar with the enneagram know that the personality style of Ones is oriented around a conviction that things are not right as they are, and that they should conform to a One’s idea of how they ought to be. The attitude or feeling tone arising out of this belief, then, is an oppositional hostility toward what is. In Ones, this aggressively rejecting attitude is seldom as out front as the designation of this passion—anger—suggests. These are people in service of the good, the ethical, the virtuous, and what they deem to be the correct and proper, who take the moral high ground in whatever sphere of life they are involved in. They tend to be politically and spiritually correct, suppressing what does not accord, and so end up chafing under their excessive self-control. Because of this, their angry attitude manifests typically as an intolerant, critical, and resentful atmosphere rather than an overtly hostile one. In this sense, resentment best describes their characteristic reactive atmosphere.

> As Almaas notes, “In resentment, there is aversion, which is made up of anger and rejection toward your experience.”3 This belligerent attitude is not simply a rejection of how things are but also a forceful attempt to make things conform to a One’s inner picture of how they ought to be. This manifests in a One’s tendency to point out and attempt to correct the perceived faults of themselves and of others, and may extend to trying to make the world itself conform to his or her idea of how things ought to be, often with the sense that if everything were perfect, then he or she could finally relax.

The reason I share this is because the internal experience for type one is based around bottling up this anger, and feeling resentful that things aren't right, that things aren't conforming, and being somewhat forceful about insisting that they do. You came across to me as a person who is relaxed... and this is coming from a person who has seen you across, what was it? 9-10 minutes of your life? So I am certain that it must be true. :) <- See, I can be funny sometimes!

As a side note and digression:

Oh, there was one other little correction I wanted to make about something you were thinking about: that accuracy with words thing that you attributed to Ni, is actually something more attributed to introverted thinking (Ti—it is sometimes referred to as the accuracy process for this reason) in the tertiary position of a cognitive stack.

So, again, you certainly know you better than I, so even if I am wrong, hopefully this can clarify and enforce your position as a type one. Oh, one last thing from the previous book (you may find this more relevant than my previous quote from it):

> REMEMBER THAT ONES TRY TO ESCAPE from their fear of being condemned by striving to be perfect. They see themselves as fair, reasonable, and objective, although others may see them as rigid, dogmatic, and overly critical. Ones believe that if they discipline themselves sufficiently, they can avoid making mistakes. Being human, however, they do make mistakes—obliging them to struggle ever harder to organize and improve everything in their lives. If they see that others do not share their idealism, Ones increasingly become unable to control their anger about having to do everything themselves. If Ones continue pushing themselves toward "perfection," the repressed parts of their psyches explode, leaving them enraged and irrational.

> ONES CAN ESCAPE THEIR TRAP by acknowledging and releasing their unrealistic expectations of themselves and others. They begin to understand that the standards by which they judge the world are not absolute truths. As Ones recognize the subjective quality of many of their positions, they begin to respect the beliefs and values of others. Without the constraints of perfectionism, their vision opens to a reality more mysterious and more perfect than they could ever have conceived.

u/Rhistel · 1 pointr/Enneagram

Sandra Maitri's The Enneagram of Passions and Virtues: Finding the Way Home was an excellent book, it was a bit difficult for me to grok parts of it, but based on our previous conversations, I doubt that you'd have the same issue.