Reddit reviews The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning: How to Free Yourself and Your Family from a Lifetime of Clutter

Sounds like Swedish death cleaning: my mom has gotten into it as of late -

nice summary article

the book on it

That's fine, maybe Stoicism would be attractive? Most people think it's stereotypically about suppressing emotions but it's actually about listening to ourselves, revealing and interpreting them correctly so we understand ourselves on a deeper level and can make the best decision given the circumstances and available information without overreacting inappropriately given the circumstances. You might like the stoic algorithm. There are current writers like Massimo Pigliucci.

When you feel locked in, tight, annoyed because you don't have options, stuck, can't do anything else - try to recognize this as anger. Anger is the buildup of frustration. They directly play off each other. So try to expand your circle when this is happening. That's what the breathing is for.

Anger is called a secondary emotion because all other negative emotions feed into it. And then our fight or flight response is triggered and we angry people tend to "fight" so we get angry. And anger has action in it. So walking and other anger management techniques help dissipate that action instead of doing something we regret. It's a healthy distraction we can do until we cool off and can approach it a gain rationally.

Just see if you can practice remembering patience and compassion. If you were your best friend standing ten feet away looking at yourself what would you do to comfort yourself? Try to slow things down and avoid rushing. Leave ten or even twenty minutes early so you're not grabbing things last minute as you careen out the door. It also helps with road rage to leave early so you can focus on purposefully not competing with other drivers because you are well within your arrival window and you can drive safely. And if you get there with time to chill and cool off it's much easier to shrug off anything really did happen on the way as you walk into the building.

A small apartment can drive you nuts. Maybe start practicing martial arts or something not alcohol centric so you're out of the house but not drinking. Even tai chi is really great for health and it's not like rolling around on the floor and punching things. And try not to stay out too late or gaming online past bedtime. Switch to a book an hour before bed so your eyes get used to natural light. That blue light keeps our brains overly active. Write things down to get your persistent thoughts and concerns on paper and out of your head if they keep you awake at night. It basically creates a to-do or reflection list for tomorrow so you can sleep more easily and not have the burden of holding all of that in your head. It helps to keep a notebook or journal and a good pen near your bed dedicated for this. Protect your sleep like gold.

A messy partner! Sorry about that. It can be a real pain point for couples. The Konmari method didn't really work for me but I like the Swedish Death Cleaning approach. Rather morbid idea but just getting rid of anything I wouldn't want anyone else to have to look at. And I'm trying to train myself to enjoy clean surfaces. So I got some clear storage boxes so I can put a lifetime of photographs and letters and stuff under my futon or in the closet but still have easy access to them.

There's the book Getting Together and Staying Together that has some practical techniques for those kinds of conversations. This was a much longer response than intended but I hope it helps a little. Hang in there!

My mom recently started doing Swedish Death Cleaning and says it works better for her than Marie Kondo.