Reddit reviews The M Word: Conversations about Motherhood

First, my partner had a similar upbringing where any strong emotion was discouraged, no matter whether it was positive or negative. He has been going to therapy for the last year and a half and it has really helped on specifically this issue (identifying, feeling and verbalizing emotions). This is something that was taught to you as a child, and it can be untaught. In fact, it could be great preparation for your own parenting experience, to re-parent yourself in this way.

Second, I too have much more muted emotions than many here. Part of that is because I miscarried last time and it's been difficult to let myself get excited, or the excitement is bittersweet. But also, while I want this child, I don't have the baby craving that many women seem to experience. It's going to change my life in a lot of overwhelming and intimidating ways, certainly not in 100% positive ways. I like my quiet house and my lazy weekends!

And yes, there are tons of kids that I know that I don't go out of my way to spend time with. That's totally fine, lots of parents report liking their kids and not other kids. It's kind of like how Marc Maron (comedian) says he's not a Cat Person, he's a My Cat Person. ;)

I read a book this past year called The M Word and it had some great stories from mothers about ambivalence (along with lots of other related experiences including loss, infertility, choosing not to have kids, being a nanny, being a grandparent, etc — super interesting stuff!).

Thank you for replying and answering my questions. As a non-childbearing woman myself, let me recommend you some books I've read to help me with understanding our place in this world.

Motherhood: A Novel, by Shelia Heti

Selfish, Shallow, and Self Absorbed: Sixteen Writers on the Decision Not to Have Kids by Meghan Daum

The M Word: Conversations About Motherhood by Kerry Clare