Reddit reviews The Mindful Attraction Plan: Your Practical Roadmap to Creating the Life, Love and Success You Want

Month six of RP. My last OYS was a few weeks ago.

Owning:

• Health: I've dropped 15 pounds, nearly all bodyfat, in the last few months, while seeing steady strength gainz. Muscular vascularity has returned. Abs.
  
• Appearance: maintaining. Look good. Getting very positive feedback from folks I haven't seen in a while, IOIs from randoms. Feels great.
  
• Work: maintaining. Killing it.
  
• Sex: initiating more, some progress. Breakthrough incident the other night.
  
• Mood: Began vitamin-D and ZMA supplements. Seems to buoy my mood in these dark, cold months.
  
• Reading: recently started Athol Kay's Mindful Attraction Plan. Good stuff in there.
  
  Not Owning:
  
  
• Wife still has a hard time accepting my leadership.
  
  Wife and I had a big, blow-up fight over the weekend. She's upset that I blame her for everything that's wrong in our marriage. Claims that I don't care about her sexual satisfaction anymore. These are both untrue, and I maintained a good frame in this fight, which I attribute partly to the confidence that RP has helped me build: (1) I'm not afraid of her feelings anymore, and (2) I know I'm in the right. I calmly explained my position, both that night and the next day, when heads were clearer and we'd had sleep, and she eventually came back into my frame. Had great sex that evening.
  
  MRP likes to crap on improving communication in the marriage as a blue/purple-pill thing. I disagree. IMO, it's easy for "communication" to stand in for "let her feelz dictate everything," which is obviously bad, or for comms to overshadow many of the other important means of leadership in the marriage. But once you realize that not all feelings are valid, especially from women, it's easier to ignore the ones you can and help align the others with your leadership. I have to understand where my First Mate is emotionally, and ensure that she feels comfortable talking to me. This makes it a lot easier for me to take us where I want us to go.

I get depressed over my body and youth the most. I started having babies and married young and though I didn't get fat I got bad stretch marks. Then I got fat. :-/

How do I cope? By throwing myself into self-improvement. I even get excited about the changes I am making! I could get stuck in the "woe is me"s and I certainly have and still do from time to time but one thing Red Pill has taught me is that we do not have a lot of time at all. No time for moping!

Have you read Athol Kay's Mindful Attraction Plan? I swear that I have never had a conversation with this man let alone am paid by him to promote his books they just are that great.

Another thing is that I find things to keep me busy. I love to read so I make time to read, as one example. It's important to care for yourself because it also lets you know you are worth it to yourself.

Its dirt cheap on kindle, following along with it did more for our marriage than 4 different marriage counselors over a decade. You just have to follow through. Reading it isn't enough, you have to act. https://www.amazon.com/Mindful-Attraction-Plan-Practical-Creating-ebook/dp/B00DINECUU

So, where to find a husband....

Make yourself a list of all the traits you'd like your ideal husband to have. Done? Good.

Step one: Take a good look at that list. Really look at it. What kind of wife do you think a man like that would like to have?

Step two: Become that woman. In other words, MAP. This book will help. Become the best version of you that you can be.

Step three: Hang out in places you'd like your future husband to hang out. The grocery store, libraries, museums, the gym, farmer's markets and such tend to be good places to start.

Step four: Make eyes at your future husband. If he's Alpha, he'll take care of the rest.

0- stop gambling
1- sidebar books
2- MAP will be key

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00DINECUU/

His MMSLP2011 book is part of the sidebar. But you sound so lost I think you need some tactical guide- not just a lot of really deep and good ideas. DO read the rest of the side bar but the MAP will help you identify specific areas of your life that are deficient help you rank them and task you with improving them each.

How does one even start?

You put your head down and put one foot in front of the other and keep fucking going. Action not words and thoughts alone.

Going through similar stuff. Focus on yourself and your daughter. Be cordial with your wife and no more. I know this is a tough road. I'm on it, but things will resolve eventually. In the meanwhile, read this book. It has been key to helping me through my situation. All the best, mate and feel free to PM if you need a sounding board.

Thank you.

> It's you as a husband realizing one day after years of confusion, peril, depression, anger and frustration that the woman you married is an actor. A mirage. A big beautiful wall surrounding a core of pain, hurt, shame and guilt. A wall you will never (nor do you want to) step inside and share the burden. It is impenetrable.

Yup.

Not to over-analyze, but she was a high achiever. She had a ton of things going right. Awesome college, high GPA, incredible attention to detail, well organized, a couple of major interests she excelled at that were promising.

We get married and she ends up working at KinderCare. (A philosophy degree from an awesome college but no grad degree, but poor interview skills, gets you that, I think.)

When kids come she homeschools. Now 14 years later, she's destroyed my reputation in front of the older kids (they can only hear dad screwed up X again or "I can't trust you" so many times). So they don't trust me at all (like, don't trust me to drive them to soccer). So mom has to do everything. Which is exausting.

So the new attack from her is "I have no ambition; I have no future. I was so promising! I was so bright and shining! Now I am exhausted! And you get rewarded for being a terrible father with free time, since the kids don't want you around! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!"

I guess I'm asking how the terrible fall from grace happened. I think I enabled it. As I backed off to make her happy, she had to take more and more responsibility for the family. She had to become more masculine. This drove her crazy.

So it was a self-destructive cycle I arguably enabled. For now, I am interested in ideas to disrupt it but stay in the house. Married Red Pill at least helped me stay sane and set up a few boundaries. (EG Althol Kay's Mindful Attraction Plan: https://www.amazon.com/Mindful-Attraction-Plan-Practical-Creating-ebook/dp/B00DINECUU/ )

Yeah of course you can pray for this.

Heck, you oughtta pray for this. More people would be happier if they had prayed daily for a good spouse before they found and married one.

Here's a good old Catholic prayer for a young man to meet a future spouse.

Wait.....Are you talking about making a specific gal fall in love with you? I mean you can pray for that, but you should also just....work on making yourself more appealing to that person. Find out their interests, get involved with them somehow, and work on improving your appearance, manners, and conversational skills.

In the vein of personal improvement, I'd suggest reading maybe the Mindful Attraction Plan and....gosh, maybe No More Christian Nice Guy.

Two other little comments:

>almost no social life

This is certainly fixable

>and I don't exist in social media(except reddit and whatsapp)

Haha this does not matter at all, in fact being on Facebook 24/7 or getting sucked into the latest Twitter outrages are severely unattractive to good women.

Get sexy for you. When you feel sexy, other people notice. I lost a lot confidence bc of my db, too. But I know I look good, and it makes me carry myself differently. Im not gorgeous but i get attention (i think) because i feel good.

Getting to the point you feel sexy takes work, but it's worth it.

This book changed my life https://www.amazon.com/Mindful-Attraction-Plan-Practical-Creating-ebook/dp/B00DINECUU

Be attractive. Don't be unattractive. Work on yourself, and figure out what is different about the person you were when things were working well in the bedroom versus the person you are now.

Are you in the same shape you were 7 years ago? Are you as interesting? Are you as strong, independent, confident then as you are now?

You do understand that the work doesn't stop when you get married and have kids, right? In fact, it's just getting started.

Date her. Every day.

Realize foreplay is something that happens the other 23 1/2 hours a day, not 5 minutes before she drops those pajama bottoms. Do not ever negotiate desire (that "acts of service" and "choreplay" stuff is never, ever going to work).

Don't beg for sex, don't expect it, and don't get butthurt when it doesn't happen, or it will just get worse, because you will make yourself someone she doesn't respect. If you can find the man you were before, she'll find the woman she was, too.

Unlike another commenter, I'd strongly suggest staying as far away from /r/DeadBedrooms as possible, unless you want to feel better about people who are worse off than you. Hanging out in that sub just made things worse for me.

A good starting point for you might be The Man's Guide to Women. and after that I'd suggest the Mindful Attraction Plan and Mating in Captivity.

And throw that Five Love Languages book in the trash.

It's not called the Five Fuck Languages for a very good reason.

So, I looked over your posting history before making this list. It seems like you have a confident head on your shoulders and understand women reasonably well.

1. You do mention masturbating to porn 3-4 times a day, which is on the high side. I don't have any particular resources for that, and you said you didn't see it as a problem or affecting you at the moment. In a relationship, I've found that high masturbation levels means that I'm not romancing my wife, and am less affectionate. This causes relationship stress. It also affects how much I enjoy sex, so if I masturbate less I enjoy sex more. For me porn is also an emotional crutch - because the pron mimics feelings of extreme sexual success, so there's often an emotional need that is being met (not just horniness) that you're fulfilling with porn. Some deep personal introspection and self reflection can help identify what is really going on inside of you. Just a thought. ;)
   
2. What women want when they test men by Bruce Bryans. Hands down one of the best resource for identifying women's various tests, whether you're just dating or in a long term relationship.
   
3. Sex God Method by Daniel Rose. Hands down the most useful book on sex ever. Reading it instills a cockiness in me that can't be matched by anything else... And drives my wife completely nuts in bed.
   
4. Athol Kay's various resources. I like this six part video series where he breaks down 6 aspects of relationship.
   
5. No More Mr. Nice Guy. I thought I didn't need this book and that I was doing well, and then I read it.
   
6. Emotional Intelligence. Goleman is the seminal guy on this, and there are many other good books.
   
7. Management Courses. No joke. I went through a simple cert via my local CC and it blew my mind.
   
8. Charisma Courses. I've attached the link to the program I've tried, it worked pretty well, but a bit pricey. they have a good youtube channel... But the program actually forces you to practice the lessons so it's a lot more useful.
   
   Whatever catches your interest. :D

I wish I had read this book and implemented it proactively as it should be instead of reactively how it's almost always done. This should be required reading for all men In a ltr or marriage.

https://www.amazon.ca/Married-Man-Life-Primer-2011-ebook/dp/B004W0IRQ8

You have to maintain your spouse's attraction to you. Your wifes attraction to you is an organic thing, it can become injured, broken or even dead.

And ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. That book was written for men only but athol Kay has had so many woman flock to his blog he had to shut his forum down. He wrote an updated version that's more accessible to both genders. I recommend the fist book but I'll drop this one here for other guys if they want more information.

https://www.amazon.ca/Mindful-Attraction-Plan-Practical-Creating-ebook/dp/B00DINECUU

First habit of a highly effective person:

BE PROACTIVE!

Don't allow your wife to lose her attraction for you.

Also, drop the idea of dysney love. Admiration and respect, that's the Stanley Cup of marriage. Also, unsolicited blowjobs.

And if what /u/uncommon_sense_123 says is true, you need to fix your head before getting married because getting mareid won't fix your head.