Reddit reviews The Noonday Demon: An Atlas of Depression

I apologize if you are older than I think you are (based on your first picture, I'm guessing you are in your teens), but you seem to be far more mature and far more knowledgeable about this than most adults I know.

I highly recommend picking up the book, The Noonday Demon, I think it's an essential read for all of us who are lifers.

You probably don't want to read right now (or you may not be physically able to), but whenever my depression takes ahold of much I can't do anything except stay in bed, I try to take in a page of The Noonday Demon by Andrew Solomon. It's terrific - and he details the type of heavy-hitting, intensely physical depression you seem to be experiencing...it always makes me feel like I'm not alone and it's not my fault I'm sick. (And for the days when I can't focus enough to read, I like to listen to an episode or two of the Mental Illness Happy Hour - honestly, that podcast has helped me through some immensely dark shit).

As a person who battles depression and has had it take its toll on relationships I feel like I have a little bit to offer, not sure if any of it is helpful though.

A depressed person wants it all. They want their partner to be loving, supportive and compassionate to their disease. Which by all mean, they should be. However, they also want them to accept their excuses and enable their disease while not returning any of the affection. I'll be damned if I didn't turn on/pull away from the most loving people in my life because they saw my sickness and refused to accept it as me. While you should be a loving partner, you should NEVER be an enabler! It's tough love and anyone who has a close relation with a depressed person should know what I'm talking about.

I outline those points because you need to do what is best for you (and your child). If you feel your partner is truly trying to take control of her disease, then I would think you should stay and be supportive (assuming you want the relationship to continue, which I do since you are asking).

If you feel like your partner is just going through the motions or giving up, then that's when it gets harder. You'll have to make a distinction about when enough is enough and you have to look out for you and your son. Unfortunately for me, I had to lose my gf, alienate my friends and family before realizing I had to fight back.

Are you seeing a therapist or attending any sort of group counseling? I strong believe that this, while learning about the disease would really help you. You'll be able to make informed, confident choices about how to behave and maintain (or terminate) your relationship.

If you want to really understand what it is like to be depressed, how we think, how twisted our logic becomes, then I suggest reading The Noonday Demon. I cannot recommend this book strongly enough to anyone dealing with depression or a person who is depressed. If you don't do anything with my words but read the first few chapters of this book, then this post was a success.

Sorry if anything doesn't make sense, it's late :) Good luck to you and your family.

I would recommend this for anyone with a serious interest in understanding clinical depression:

The Noonday Demon - An Atlas of Depression by Andrew Solomon

If you want to know more about mood disorders, here's an excellent book on the subject: http://www.amazon.com/The-Noonday-Demon-Atlas-Depression/dp/0684854678

It mostly concentrates on depression but also explores bipolar disorder as well.

Otherwise, I would strongly suggest reading up on bipolar disorder -- its symptoms seem like they match your wife's very well!

http://www.webmd.com/depression/guide/bipolar-disorder-manic-depression

Either way, she's a very sick person and I doubt that she'll have a chance of recovery without intensive medical intervention that she needs to commit to herself. I say this both as a psychology graduate student and as a person who has taught undergrad courses on this topic.

Good luck either way. You sound like a good man in a very difficult situation, dealing with an impossible person!

I recommend reading The Noonday Demon - Andrew Solomon
http://www.amazon.com/The-Noonday-Demon-Atlas-Depression/dp/0684854678
It's amazing i swear, it's what you need. It's like it's written for this exact situation.