Reddit reviews The Places that Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times (Shambhala Classics)

These books were extremely helpful for me during a period where I was recovering from a botched suicide attempt and clinical depression.

When Things Fall Apart

The Places that Scare You

I hope this is what you're looking for. I feel like the first book is most relevant. They're great books, and I get more out of them every time I reread them.

> Thanks all, have a wonderful day.

Thank you!

Sorry, I don't have much to say other than don't be too hard on yourself. Some workplaces are really tough and it's a wonder anybody manages to cope with these places. We seem to be really good at blaming ourselves for everything, maybe because it seems so difficult to change the workplace.

Tons of people all over the world, throughout human history, have suffered in their labor, and just because you're living—I assume—in a developed country, in 2013, doesn't mean everything is automatically peachy keen and perfect except for your personal individual psychological problem.

Therapists are very used to this kind of thing. Having a functional way of dealing with work and workplace is one of the basic things people see them about. They too are a part of this society and fill a useful role and it's not any kind of "failure" to seek one out. It's part of life in this world.

For the Buddhist side of things, I liked the book Work as a Spiritual Practice. Also check out this anthology called In the Face of Fear. Pema Chödrön also has a lot of teaching about fear, sensitivity, anxiety, and such things, like in The Places that Scare You.

I'm trying to remember my path exactly, but it's been a few years. I started off reading suggestions from my then-therapist. I read Tara Brach and Jack Kornfield for a bit. Each author talks about the Buddha and aspects of Buddhism. That led to interests in other authors and works. I tried to read some original texts but found them way too confusing. :-)

Mostly I tried to make a consistent habit of meditation.

I had a crisis recently that may be of help to you. I am not in the medical field but I am in a service profession. (I.T.) I wouldn't put these two professions on the same level of importance, but, certainly there are anxieties like the pressure to perform, worries about rejection, fear of reprisal or loss of income, making a wrong decision that has bad effects, etc. Still, nobody died cause they couldn't open Word, although I have met some folks who thought they might consider suicide when they couldn't open Word, but I don't personally know anyone who took it that seriously in the end.

I had become a bit complacent my in meditation. I don't want to use the word "plateau" because that's a word loaded with the idea of attaining and striving which is counter-productive in meditation. I found that I was sitting in a chair about four days a week and slowly forgetting some of the things I had come to understand in therapy and mindfulness training.

Over time, and owing to a few difficult weeks at work, I started to experience some old symptoms of extreme anxiety. I would physically shake most of the day. I would say slightly antagonistic things to clients and my boss out of fear for my safety.

That led to this thread.

The result of that thread led to several conclusions for myself, most of which I summarized here.

At the moment, I have recommitted myself to thinking about the mind and am meditating a lot more. The following books have all been helpful right now: Pema Chodron's The Places That Scare You, Achaan Chah's A Still Forest Pool, and Shinzen Young's The Science of Enlightenment. The last two were recommended to me by fellow Buddhitor GeminiVI. All of this has been helpful.

I suspect I'm in a expansive phase and am absorbing a lot. I imagine that, like all things, there will be a contracting phase and I won't feel as in-control as I do now. (I can't tell if this is self-sabotage as I write this!)

I appreciate your coming back to ask me what I did. I am often resistant to giving advice. I think that makes me come off as aloof or arrogant sometimes, but it's simply because I am very worried about giving out bad advice. (You can imagine that is not necessarily helpful in my profession.) But more than that, I am not at all able to really defend my choices were I to get in some sort of argument. I don't know what will work for other people. I'm still trying to figure out what works for me.

In any case, I sincerely hope something in here is useful to you.

I think it can be very healing to go the places that scare you. https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/1570629218/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1520357111&sr=8-1&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65&keywords=the+places+that+scare+you+by+pema+chodron

I found this book very helpful for metta meditation (loving-kindness meditation) and also turning the mirror in towards our inner self. Starting the process with learning to love yourself.

http://www.amazon.com/The-Places-that-Scare-You/dp/1570629218/

Turning the Mind into an Ally by Sakyong Mipham with foreword by Pema Chodron

The Places that Scare You by Pema Chodron

Wish you nothing but the best OP.

Talk to her just like this. Honest and accepting. Full of love.

Just stay strong if it goes bad. It might hurt a lot man, but you can use that as even more motivation to get your shit together. Times of suffering are the best times for personal growth.

Not sure if it is your style, but i have two book recommendations for you. Each only costs a couple of dollars on amazon(check used section). They are straightforward and easy to grasp beginner buddhist teachings. Written by an american too so it is relatable. Really helpful for times like this.

http://www.amazon.com/When-Things-Fall-Apart-Difficult/dp/1570623449

And its sequel

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/1570629218/ref=pd_aw_fbt_14_img_2?ie=UTF8&refRID=1BA33ENK9BCG9ZZQR8E0


Any questions or if you want to talk. Hit me up. Im of similar age and can relate in various ways.

I feel your pain. Mine was 22 years. I try to focus on now and the future, I can't change the past. However, I can change myself, my attitude and the reasons I thought it was OK to stay in that relationship with someone who did not appreciate me nor respect me. Here are some books that have helped me with the feelings of waste and the same exact question:

[When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times] (https://www.amazon.com/When-Things-Fall-Apart-Anniversary/dp/1611803438/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1484668584&sr=1-1&keywords=pema+chodron)

The Places that Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times

[The Power of Now] (https://www.amazon.com/Power-Now-Guide-Spiritual-Enlightenment/dp/1577314808/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1484668804&sr=8-1&keywords=The+power+of+now)

 

This process is not easy, there is a whole gamut of emotions, it is a wild, rollercoaster ride. I have gone though the blaming myself, the shock, denial, pain, guilt, anger, bargaining and depression. I still feel them from time to time. However, on the long run it is a choice. I am choosing to change what I can and to be happy. It is not always easy and Im tired of the anger. I will no longer allow my STBX to live rent free in my head or usurp my feelings.

Take care of yourself, go for walks; eat, eat well; be conscious, don't do anything stupid. Work with a therapist, reconnect with your friends or make new ones. Use this sub-reddit, there are many here with good advice, I know it saved me from doing stupid stuff more than once. You will make it through, how is your choice.