Reddit Reddit reviews The Rational Male

We found 51 Reddit comments about The Rational Male. Here are the top ones, ranked by their Reddit score.

Healthy Relationships
The Rational Male
The Rational Male
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51 Reddit comments about The Rational Male:

u/__NOTORIOUS__ · 34 pointsr/asktrp

> But then they'll always be considering monkeybranching/cheating with alphas if they get the opportunity because they're just settling for the beta.

Plenty of married alpha's. Rollo Tomassi, the father of TRP, is married.

> how the actual fuck do you as a male who wants LTRs and doesn't want to have casual sex "succeed" and not end up a beta bux?

By being alpha entering into a relationship.

>It’s not a numbers game, it’s a non-exclusivity game. The goal isn’t racking up as many women as humanly possible in order to sift through the throng and find that one little golden flower. In fact that’s the key to disaster. There is no Quality Woman, that’s an idealization. Some are better than others of course, but you don’t find the perfect woman, you make the perfect woman. There is no needle in the haystack – that is Scarcity / ONEitis thinking – the point is to mold yourself and any woman who you do exclusively end up with into your own frame. This is a process that should come before you commit to exclusivity, not after. The world is filled with guys forever trying to catch up, control the frame and be the Man they should’ve been long before they entered an LTR. They spend the better part of their LTRs/Marriages trying to prove that they deserve their GF’s / Wife’s respect when they’d have done better in letting her come to that conclusion well before the commitment through a healthy dose of competition anxiety. - Rollo Tomassi

The Rationale Male

>dark triad traits are not long term healthy relationship traits, they're just traits for fucking sluts. Well I don't want that, I want a relationship down the line with a non-slut,

"Dark Triad" traits (or just alpha traits) are attractive to all women, not just sluts. The difference is, sluts lack self-control and self-respect, so they get used by tons of guys and make irrational choices. The lack of self-control is what makes sluts bad investments. Even when they have a good deal (lesser-alpha), they lack the self-control to resist a higher alpha, throwing away their relationships to chase their hypergamy.

You will never be the most alpha. There will always be someone who's better breeding stock than you. You just have to be alpha enough. As you grow old, you'll likely sacrifice your freedom and independence for family and legacy. You won't be as alpha as you once were, or as other 20 somethings are, but you'll have different priorities, and ideally a women who's wise enough to know she's got good deal.

u/RedPillPowerNine · 25 pointsr/Marriage

Read your husband your exact post then hand him this book

I'll save him a seat.

u/R3ginal · 9 pointsr/asktrp

Forget marriage counselling: anyone who is red pill will tell you that it is bullshit. Marriage counselling is what women do to "tick a box" before they file for divorce, just so they can say (to themselves, to their friends/family, to the judge) that they "tried". DO NOT go to marriage counselling. Save your time and money.


You NEED to read these ASAP:


This book is referred to as "The Red Pill Bible".


Asking your wife for marriage counselling? Crying and screaming in front of her and the kids? Begging her for forgiveness? Saying things like “She is my one and only” and “I’ve always loved her and I always will”? You need stop this nonsense and focus on becoming a MAN. The fact that you did or said any of this is evidence of your childish, feminized mindset. You need to first understand masculinity, and then you need to work on becoming masculine.


Please, you NEED to learn the foundational, basic stuff first. You need to change yourself; build yourself from the ground-up anew. Otherwise, no one-time advice that we give about specific situations will do anything for you.


Ok, now let me at least focus on something specific here.

That “uhh... sure” you heard? Let's be honest, you don't even have to be red-pilled to understand what's going on here. You're still a biological man, and as a biological man, you have certain instincts that are hard-wired into your brain. I think the fact that you asked what it means is evidence that there's something, a feeling in your gut or a voice in the back of your mind, telling you that something about that interaction and her response was not "right". This may not make sense to you at the moment, which is why I keep telling you to learn the basics ASAP, but women do NOT respect, are NOT attracted to, and are NOT aroused by vulnerability in men - they see it as weakness. Your begging her for forgiveness (even if you did act like a child) and asking her to go to marriage counselling is a supreme act of weakness on your part - especially after you already displayed supreme weakness when you broke-down before. All you just did was further solidify in her mind that you're a weak man. Women DO NOT want to associate with weak men, and they CERTAINLY do NOT want to be married to one or be saddled with the offspring of a weak man. That “uhh... sure” was her being disgusted with you.


You need to understand that you've obviously been raised in a blue-pill way. No one has even taught you what masculinity is, how men should act, women's nature or how to interact with them. Your actions are evidence of this.


I'm not saying you should be a domineering asshole who abuses his wife or other women - that is absolutely NOT what the red pill is about, and absolutely NOT what we advocate for here. The red pill is about masculinity (real masculinity - not the feminized nonsense you hear about in mainstream media), and that is what it teaches and what we discuss in the red pill community.


When you're reading those books, focus on the parts about "making yourself your own mental point of origin", self-improvement, and applying what's known as "dread". The fact of the matter is that your recent actions, as well as your financial state, has caused your wife to lose respect for you; you are no longer the man she married in her eyes. You need to build yourself back up - not for her, but for yourself. If this marriage ends, and there's a good chance it will, it makes NO DIFFERENCE to what you need to do moving forward from now. You need to learn the basic/foundational red pill material, internalize it, and work on yourself (go to the gym, eat healthy, work on your financial situation, read books, etc.).

u/rocknrollchuck · 9 pointsr/RPChristians

(continued from main post)

continue to use drugs and continue in my current way of life, or take the blessing He was graciously offering me and give up drugs and marry her – that was His plan for me. I decided it was time to quit, and knew God would help me. I only had 1 joint left (coincidence?), so I smoked it and went to bed high. I woke up the next day sober and got rid of all my drug paraphernalia. I had no cravings anymore; that part of my life was over by the grace of God!

She was very clear with me from the first date that she expected to wait until marriage to have sex, which at that point was my goal as well. Christ had really set me free from many of my old habits over the previous year, and I wanted to honor Him. Her first marriage was to an abusive, alcoholic man. He was the only man she had ever been with. They split up shortly after coming to America after he almost killed her, and it was just her and her son and daughter for 8 years. Her daughter moved out before we got married, and her son was 16 when we got together. He took a liking to me right away when he found out we like the same music. A couple years later God even used me to lead him to salvation!

We were married in 2008, after dating for exactly 40 days. Now I know why it is important and why God wants us to wait until marriage to have sex!!! We have a connection unlike anything I have ever experienced before. A couple weeks after we got married, I threw all my porn in the trash.

Sex between us has always been great. She was pretty shy and reserved when we got married, but I coaxed her out of her shell little by little. She now has no trouble doing all the things I like, and is very enthusiastic sexually. I made it clear before we got married that I would want a lot of sex, and if that was a problem for her she should move on. She said "If you marry me, it will never be a problem." And it never has been. I get as much sex as I want. I have absolutely no desire to cheat anymore since I got married, and have not slept with anyone but my current wife since 2007.

However, shortly after we got married she started giving me a difficult time over the boy I have guardianship for. She knew the situation when we got married and agreed to it, but gave me grief about it later. She tried to tell me that his birth mom needed to step up and raise him instead of us. She got angry because birth mom was not paying her court-ordered child support (this has since changed). She even accused me of sleeping with my stepdaughter, going so far as to pressure me to get a DNA test, which I did just to shut her up. I am NOT the father, but I have chosen to be his Dad and am perfectly happy doing so.

Also, a few months after we were married, my son's soccer coach asked me if I would be interested in doing a devotional for his team before practices. I said yes, and began giving a spiritual message to the kids before each practice. Then I saw a program on Christian tv called The Way of the Master. I was blown away by the strong, direct message and the technique they use to share the gospel! I began watching every week, and soon began to order cd's, dvd's and gospel tracts from them. Since then I have learned to share my faith Biblically using the Law of God. It is powerful, and I am no longer afraid to share my faith with anyone! Soon after that, another soccer coach who attended my church asked if I would include his team in the practice devotional, and I said yes. Through him I was soon offered an opportunity to teach a Bible study at my church to a 65 and older class. I taught that class from 2009-2014.

I developed a great friendship with her older son as he became a man. He had been lifting weights since he was 15, and is ripped. He got married a few years ago, and moved across the country with his wife. His example and encouragement to eat better and be healthier motivated me, and I finally got around to getting braces in 2012. This caused me to give up soda, and I started losing weight. I started intermittent fasting January of 2013, and dropped from 252 to 179 lbs. In 2015 I started working out on an old Bowflex I had bought after we first got married, and gained some muscle and tone.

Then in August of 2015, my elderly parents moved in with us because they needed help with daily care. We had talked about it over the previous year, and we both agreed it was ok and we would take care of them. I made sure to double check, because I didn't want any misunderstandings later. My wife was nice and welcoming when they got here, but she quickly became more argumentative with them and me. It came to a head the second weekend after they arrived when she started on all of us, yelling and arguing and being totally irrational. We actually had to leave the house for a couple hours to keep it from escalating any further. I didn’t speak to her for a few days, and it was during this time that I Googled “How to get my wife to respect me. This led me to the Married Red Pill subreddit, where I created a Reddit login and submitted my first post. Needless to say, I was blown away by the advice I received. I had been reading the sidebar steadily, but the feedback in the comments I received specific to my situation was exactly what I needed at the time.

Since that post, I have slowly changed and molded myself into a strong RPChristian man. I took it slow, at my own pace, and am glad I didn’t try to change everything at once – small, steady changes with the frame to back it up. Frame took the longest for me, and the key to changing things was realizing that it was my emotional reaction to the things my wife said that was causing me the most problems. It took a long time to practice and internalize that my getting upset when my wife challenged me or said something I didn’t agree with stemmed from my subconscious view that SHE was the one in charge. Once I realized that it really was all up to me, and that I could make the decision and deal with the emotional frustration of her disagreeing, things really started changing for the better. This comment was a game changer for me in that respect. Because I was the classic Nice Guy ^^^TM, this part of my transformation took longer than anything else I did.

Now I take charge, showing leadership and making decisions. No more “I dunno, what do you want to do?” I decide. She can persuade me to change my mind if she wants. I have established clear boundaries, and although it took a while, she has come around and I get a lot more respect than I did in the past. I fix stuff around the house, maintain the cars, take responsibility for the bills and all things financial, have successfully completed a number of home-improvement projects around the house. I joined a gym in 2016, and have transformed my body. I had the advantage of working labor jobs for many years, so the muscle base was there, I just needed to shed the fat. My wife and son have since joined the gym as well, and we all go regularly.

These days, we go out into the community and hand out gospel tracts together and witness to people on the street, and both our sons can articulate and share their faith quite will. I minister online to others through Global Media Outreach, and answer questions online. I reach out on Facebook too. My wife reaches out to a very large Eastern European community here in our city. They are largely cultural Muslims, and my wife has an amazing gift of inviting others to our place to share the Gospel, as well as getting invited to others’ houses to share the gospel. The fact that she also speaks 5 different languages is a huge help in that endeavor, and I have had the opportunity to share the Gospel with many of them when they come over to our house on more than a few occasions.

I thank God for saving a wretched sinner like me, and am so thankful that He has chosen to use me for His glory! My life has become a witness to others, showing that even the worst and weakest can be changed by the power of Jesus Christ. In December of this year it will be 20 years since I gave my life to Christ. I could never have imagined 20 years ago that my life would be anything like it is today. My mess has become my message, and I have no problem sharing my past struggles and the change that has followed for the benefit of others. I have a long way to go yet, but God is faithful and I will get there by His grace!

In closing, here is the list of books that I have found to be the most helpful to me on my journey:

u/screechhater · 8 pointsr/askMRP

1- she is not an HB 8 take of the goggles, pull her off the pedestal (cheating is not attractive)

2- Your frame is for shit (you are thinking you might be guilty of "imposing on trust and privacy" by verifying and you find out she is still receiving messages

You have 3 kids, one is an infant ? And, you honestly think she would feel violated if you confronted her ?

You may have read your whole list of books, but, let me explain a dose of reality, you have not made the content yours

"This most recent exchange ended with him saying “Love you”. My wife replied with “Thanks, Love you too”. "

"and my wife returned with an “I love you too”, which I know my wife would just say is a “friendly” thing, as she does say “love you” to lots of different friends and family members, but this did not sit well with me.

absolutely unacceptable. hard boundary crossed



Read chapter 27

What I would do, you wouldn't have the stomach or guts for, but then again, most men aren't me

last statement - I pray for your son and medical issues, I also pray for you to internalize the sidebar and draw some boundaries. Most importantly, for self respect. Good Luck

u/JackGetsIt · 7 pointsr/asktrp

Money: Watch this over and over, take notes and internalize the information. Read this. Live within your means.

Social Contacts: Fnordsnord covered it. Also read "How to Win Friends and Influence People." Actually take notes, practice what you read and reread. Read this blog post.

Women: You're already on redpill so you're probably pretty set on knowledge there. Read this, this, and this anyway. Internalize, practice, reread.

Life: Two suggestions, 1) Your first reaction to things isn't always the right reaction. 2) Prepare to fail. Skipped a gym visit or missed a lift? Chump = give up. Man = you were prepared for this it doesn't phase you. You're back at it tomorrow. Narrow your life to a few important things and work daily on them. Don't overdo it just plod along. All the greatest achievements in life are done with steady hard work. Read this

Career: Every two-four weeks or so update your resume (keep two versions of your resume, a super long form with absolutely every reference, accomplishments, phone number, address, date, etc and a super short form single page one with all the highlights, make it pretty) and glance for either a higher paying job within your field or a higher status job. Always secure a new job before leaving an old one. If you're still in college or decide to go back, pick a career field that will be in demand when you graduate. Start applying while you are still in school. Read this.

Organization: buy a simple small 2 drawer filing cabinet and manilla folders, put important docs in there. Digitize super important docs. Clean it out every once in a while. Watch this.

Study habits/learning habits: I don't really have time to go into this in any detail but go to everyclass. Take comprehensive notes, ask a shit ton of questions, bounce new things you're learning off people and discuss it as much as possible. Find people that know the material better than you and spend time with them. Take those notes you wrote and get a piece of paper. Draw three columns. Right column is most important info that might be on test/eval, center column is that same info in short hand, left column is a visual representation of the information that might help you daisy chain memorize it. This is my own technique so PM if you'd like more clarification. Turn every assignment in no matter how poor the quality. Last but not least one more time prepare to fail. Talk to your boss or professor if you're slipping; our first impulse is to turn inward and blame yourself and not seek others to help because it looks weak. Like I said your first reaction/feeling isn't always the right one. Prepare to fail. Be antifragile. Good luck; you don't need it if you apply yourself, plan, and work diligently.

Edit: One last thing. Statistically you will live a long time. Think with your future self in mind everyday.

u/TheRedMoss · 6 pointsr/asktrp

This post deserves more insight than I can provide. Hopefully more experienced people will see it.

First: Know that in your position (age, income, etc.) you have options (good ones). If you decide to leave your marriage it sounds like you're in a good place. A part of me would be nervous about letting that deal sit on the table and not taking it. At some point she will realize her future options are diminishing and may revoke the clean getaway offer.

Second: You took a huge step in the right direction finding TRP. There's a lot here that can help you (even in your situation where you're ability to experiment is limited). I'm reading "The Rational Male" by Rollo Tomassi. $10 on Amazon I recommend getting it. It's a compilation of many of his best posts on his blog. He's a married man and has a solid perspective on things.

One of the concepts he covers is re-stimulating "competition anxiety" Basically if you start improving yourself enough to the point that you're getting attention from other women, your wife will feel more inclined to go out of her way to please you. Her imagination (thinking about what you plan to do, the attention you're getting might make to do something with someone) is gold. There's a lot to learn in the book/his posts and I think you'd benefit from it whether you stay or not.

Third: As far as your sexual experience, check out "Sex God Method" by Daniel Rose. It sounds corny but it's a pretty quick read that completely changed my sex life (like humans discovering fire for the first time kind of 'changed').

Best of luck

u/cheeky--kunt · 6 pointsr/asktrp
u/CaptChuckit · 5 pointsr/asktrp

1.) Decide on a work out regiment or martial art to study, hit it hard

2.) Read Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey

3.) Simplify. Eliminate EVERYTHING you can. Reduce your life down to what you can fit in your car.

4.) Read The Rational Male by Rollo Tomassi

5.) Eliminate brain fog (quality sleep/foods, cut out excessive drinking/smoking, continue to read, research topics that interest you, listen to podcasts, etc.)

6.) Seek out accessible (local, online, social networks) resources within the music business and wring them for info. Do your fucking research.

7.) Move out. And not down the street, go where they do what you want to do.

8.) Decide to dedicate a serious amount of time to your dream, and how to get there. Treat it like its your goddamn job, or like you're studying it in school, whether you actually end up in school for it or not.

9.) Make a legitimate effort to go out and talk to women. Do so with an experimental emphasis.


I found video journaling hugely effective. It doesn't make much sense at the time, but going back and reviewing them later, you will be glad that you did.

You can do this my friend, don't feel hopeless. No one thing is going to fully activate your potential. It's a mentality shift that you're after, and that takes work. Just be sure to help the newly unplugged as you progress.


EDIT: formatting

u/boydeer · 5 pointsr/asktrp

feminism has pushed to increase the rights of women and decrease the rights of men. as political activists, they have tried to lighten the burden of proof on rape accusations. they have fought to keep false rape accusations unpunished. when a man is accused of rape, feminists pressure universities to kick him out, he ends up in the news, loses his scholarship, and then they find out it's false. nothing happens to the woman.

i personally believe this is bad for honest men (because they can be the victim of a false rape and it can ruin their life), and it's bad for honest women (because an honest man has to be more wary of her), and it's bad for rape victims (because people are less likely to believe them, since it's taboo to scrutinize the attacks, and anyone in law enforcement knows that not all accusations are true).

as a man, it was harder to get into school, harder to get financial aid. when i had an altercation with a woman, it was my fault. this is all from feminist political activism.

when i go to get a job, they have quotas for women. when i interact with a woman at work, if she feels uncomfortable, she can jeopardize my career. this is bad for women, too, because if i am ever in a position to hire a man or a woman, i will hire the one that is less likely to sue me or one of my employees.

it goes on and on. i am just giving examples off the top of my head, and they may be fringe examples, but it's harder to explain the insidious social conditioning.

since you came here for clarification, i would suggest poring through the rational male by rollo tomassi. it is much maligned by feminists, and it's poorly formatted. it's not an academic work of art, but it definitely made a strong impression on me.

u/CheesePursuit · 4 pointsr/NMMNG

Read "When I say no I feel guilty" next, then follow up with "The Rational Male"

u/EuphemisticallyTrue · 3 pointsr/MGTOW

The red pill is essentially applied evolutionary psychology. The most prominent red pill book is Rollo Tomassi's The Rational Male. These theories explain a lot of social problems we have, as described in The Misandry Bubble. MGTOW use this information (part 3) to increase the quality of the individual man's life (part 5).

u/agoodresponse · 3 pointsr/asktrp

Okay, I will tell you some things about me.

First, I ghosted everyone that knew me as a Blue Pill guy. Now, an inherent part of ghosting is being alone. When most people tell you they are independent, it's fucking bullshit. Emerson wrote a great deal on self-reliance.

Here is an essay by Emerson on the subject of self-reliance. It is both a great introduction to his views and how beautifully he writes.

Here is a collection of Emerson's essays. Ignore the 1 star review, which is for the Kindle version of the book, but heed it and buy the physical book instead of the Kindle version.

Emerson was friend and mentor to Thoreau, who wrote the following account of his two-year stay in a cabin near Walden Pond. One of Thoreau's goals was self-sufficiency.

Here is some further reading.

You mention you are going to be a radiographer soon. Now, I have seen said on TRP that some here do not see the point in film, but I fucking love film. Now, there is one film in particular that I think relates to your situation incredibly. That is Ikiru by Akira Kurosawa.
Ikiru is about a Japanese man who, near the end of his life, learns he has a terminal disease. He has, up to that point, wasted his whole life at his government job. Learning of his illness inspires in the main character a will to change, and seeing him undergo that inspires change in those around him. But, and this is another lesson to be learned from the film, we see that the main character's transformation has no lasting effect on those around him. Change has to come from within.

Another film seriously worth watching is Whiplash. I saw it mentioned in this subreddit in passing and am glad I did.

If you want me to elaborate on the things that I didn't, ask. I have a lot more film recommendations, but cannot recommend any more books, as I do not read that much. I don't recommend any music as I would consider most of what I listen to to be blue pill.

u/Rollo-Tomassi · 2 pointsr/asktrp
u/son_of_creation · 2 pointsr/infp

We live in an age of political correctness where artificially constructed notions are upheld at the expense of reality. The collateral - in this case - the disassociation of your instincts in favor of ideals / beliefs comes the inability to manifest your masculine core and subjugate her feminine chaos leading to your present dilemma.

In laymen terms, you have been raised to believe bullshit about women that simply isn't true, this bullshit makes you 'act' a certain way thinking you are doing the right thing when in fact you are NOT. You are a man, the masculine experience fundamentally differs from the feminine experience yet (western) contemporary culture would have you believe otherwise.

You are suffering.. Confused because you think you're doing the right things acquiescing to her when really you are just enabling her bad behavior - this isn't your fault however, this is the result of a lifetime of pro-feminine cultural conditioning which portrays the female sexual experience as virtuous or right and the male sexual experience as grotesque or wrong. Embrace your instincts, take pride in being a man.

Now, when she gets mad at you over small things DO NOT let it upset you in the slightest, she is testing you, she wants to know that you are unshakable in your core, that you can overcome her spats, and that her shit tests don't bother you - you can weather her emotional storms of fleeting feelings moving from one thing to the next.

Men are more romantic than women, a generalization that supports itself when the reality of sexual dynamics are explored between both sexes. Men trade resource provisioning and security for sex, we have evolved this way for thousands of years and the advent of modernization, concrete jungles and ideologies like feminism won't change the nature of reality.

Focus on yourself, on your mission, what you want to do, don't let her sap your energy away from your projects and don't prioritize her over what you want to do, I cringe to think how many INFP's are easy targets for succubi and narcissists alike and hope you never find yourself being taken advantage of.

Regardless of what you choose to do, check out The Rational Male by Rollo Tomassi All the best.

u/truchisoft · 2 pointsr/TheRedPill

So I asked a friend who just finished accepting the Truth. We have been sparring for over 6 months while I absorbed more and more, and he decelerated from Ultra Blue Bitch to Angry Phase.

He is a 30+ engineer, who slept with 30+ women so far while Beta Bitch. Far from a complete loser.

His words:

> It's hard to accept the Truth.
>The mental breakdown that this does to you that is terrible.
>Your paradigm is halved, and you have to rebuild yourself from zero.
>I was too far the other side, and suddenly realized everything is backwards... it fucked up my brain.
>My happiness paradigm was broken, I had to relearn the meaning of life.
>Learn how to find the meaning of life without looking outside of myself.
>And start from within.
>There are still days I miss the old romantic BP ideals.
>Now I know they are an impossible utopia.
>I realized that I had invested too much hope in those ideals, and that life was empty without them.
>But everything was a phantasy.

More as it comes.

My commentary:
Rollo's excellent book helped a lot, he is very through and really hits home.

Bonecrker's blog and also his book (form 2004, fuck this guy was a real prophet) really helped too, he is even more to the point, and speaks from anger, something BP guys need.

u/Hrvatski_Pastuh · 2 pointsr/croatia

Takve stvari se desavaju kroz zivot, jebi ga ja sam isto izgubio hrpu frendova poslje srednje, faxa, interesi ljudi se mijenjaju kroz vrijeme, ali isto tako sam upoznao hrpu novih i boljih frendova. A za zene se ne opterecuj ima ih koliko hoces, nije ni prva ni zadnja, nemres racunati ozbiljnost od zena bar do 28 godine, tada vecina njih se zeli skrasiti.

Pricas iz perspektive kao sta ces ti sada kada nemas nikoga i da si izgubljen, zasto definiras svoje postojanje kroz to jesi li prihvacen od ljudi koji ti long run mozda ne odgovaraju ?

Zene ti isto nevole likove koji se ovako ponasaju, sta cu ja bez nje mi govori da je ona vodila kolo, ti nisi imao bas nekog izbora i dosadio si joj, zeli druge stvari, mlada je, zeli se zajebavat i zivit.

Pocni raditi na sebi da budes bolja verzija sebe, svatko moze sjest plakat i pusit travu, gubit vrijeme.

Koristan kanal mozda ce ti se svidjet:

u/--Steak · 2 pointsr/MGTOW

Give him the book "The Rational Male" and "Men on Strike" lol


Just tell him you don't want to be a third wheel and that you respect his girlfriend, but feel weird about being part of a trike..

There is nothing wrong with saying that you want to have some "Bro time", because you are kinda burned out from dealing with all the women stresses at work all the time. Makes you sound like an awesome dude, while kinda getting the point across. Plus he's your brother, he should understand, right?

u/Fr3akShow · 2 pointsr/hsp

Great post... I agree with almost everything you wrote, and your conclusion: Having a great inner life, cultivating yourself, etc. Our problem with relationships is that we don't understand the "games" 80% of men/women play in our culture. I find HSPs are generally good in most areas, once they discover and embrace their traits; however, HSP men (I can speak only of my experience) have a highly unrealistic, romanticized notion of finding "the one" or a "soul mate", putting women an pedestals, etc... Those are just beliefs that don't match with reality/biology. It sucks to realize this, but it's true... I talk about this in my latest video (see comment somewhere in this thread). Don't give up or get cynical. Align your life paradigm up with reality. For example, you wrote "Many of the things i did weren't for myself but for her sake" seems counter-intuitive, but this is actually not wise. You give your power away, and in so doing, most women actually lose respect for you. Haven't you seen situation where a guy treats a woman like shit, but she can't leave him? The relationship is all about him, but she will not leave...even when guys like us are right there, willing to be in relationship. Now, I'm not saying it's ok to treat women (or anyone) like shit, but what is that dynamic? Why does it work the way it does? Why are nice guys ALWAYS in the "friendzone"? We have incorrect beliefs about male/female interaction. In fact, reality is 180 degrees different than what you were taught/learned growing up. Don't even think about dating until you read the following book. It will change your life in the area of relationships and self-empowerment...

The Rational Male: Rollo Tomassi

u/Quaternionz · 2 pointsr/asktrp

Never directly address an issue with a woman like that. You can’t just straight up ask her why she wasn’t down. Did you think she’d tell you why so that it could then fix whatever the problem was? Women don’t function like that. Men like to try solving these problems as if they were logical puzzles, but genuine sexual desire can’t be negotiated logically like that. All you accomplished was coming off like a thirsty beta and torpedoing your chances.

The Desire Dynamic

The kissing during the movie probably failed to escalate to sex because you tried to jump on it too soon. If you’re watching a movie then finish the movie with her. If you stop 20 minutes in then she’s going to feel like sex is more of a priority to you than spending quality time with her.

Make Brain: Sex > Quality Time

Female Brian: Quality Time > Sex

Also, if the movie itself was lame then she could have been in a weird mood due just to that. Women are very sensitive to their moods. Read my post here about how to get a movie lay. It doesn’t map exactly to your situation, but it’ll give you some ideas:

Another thing to remember is that muscularity is a disproportionately huge attraction factor for very young women. They have no conception at all about what qualities make for a good long term partner. They give zero shits about your financial situation or your prospects for future success. They give zero shits about if you have your life together or if you’re going to be a burn out alcoholic. They just want the stereotypically hot muscular guy they see in media.

This changes in their mid 20’s after they’ve had a few failed relationships. At the moment though, just focus on getting totally jacked. If you’re young and you’re dealing with very young girls (23 or younger) then all you need to do is get your bench press weight up to 200lb and wear a skin tight shirt to show off your pecs. That’ll get you laid, guaranteed. You’ll want to be dating 23 year olds (or younger) even into your 30’s, so I can’t stress enough how important lifting is.

Just flat out ignore her mean texts. She’s attention whoring, trying to create drama, and trying to get you to get emotional like a beta. If you give her any attention at all she wins. Just go blackout silent.

Lift and game other girls.

Also, if you haven already read the entirety of The Rational Male blog, then I highly recommend the book versions. It’s the same posts, but arranged in a saner format, and with some useful front matter:

Volume 1

Volume 2

Volume 3

u/[deleted] · 2 pointsr/croatia

Ovo je vjerojatno najbolji savjet koji ces moci naci, jos si mlad stignes sve promjeniti nabolje - sretno

u/bbmc7gm6fm · 2 pointsr/TheRedPill

Did you read [The Rational Male] ( I bet you didn't!

If you read that book you'd understand that women subconsciously follow certain patterns of behavior. When society gives female more power than they can handle. When society removes the responsibility from the shoulder's of women, then, that's a danger to humanity. Because the natural role of women is not holding power and having the EQUAL rights as men.

Just look around you and see how women behave.

u/IllimitableMan · 2 pointsr/TheRedPill

Buy him this as a gift: it's a book called "The Rational Male" by /u/rollo-tomassi who has a blog over at

Also get him listening to this podcast called "The Beige Phillip Show" over at, there's a lot of comedy and joking around on the show which will help him ease into the ideas, it lacks that "alpha bro" approach but still distils the same kind of wisdom that we discuss.

How to introduce him to these things? Say you "found it on the internet", started reading things and listening to that podcast and you thought he'd find it interesting. These are probably the "softest" ways to introduce someone to TRP, if he's still not receptive I'd be seriously questioning his gender identity. Being a man and being completely unreceptive to men/maleness whilst supposedly being straight is neither normal nor healthy, hopefully it doesn't come to that. A lot of men here are the products of single mothers too, and so they have to work extra hard to cultivate their masculinity, but that doesn't cause them to outright reject it, maybe it affected him more profoundly or perhaps he has other issues, I don't know him so really at this point I'm just speculating.

Best of luck to you and your boyfriend and kudos you haven't just dumped him for another guy but are actually trying to help the guy improve. I'm not sure that's entirely for unselfish reasons (maybe he's rich or you're not particularly flush with better options than him - that's not my business) but whether you guys last or not, giving him access to this information will help him endlessly for the rest of his life, so kudos for that, your intentions will serve him well.

u/TokeShmoke · 1 pointr/FreeCompliments

I suggest reading "the rational male" by Rollo tomassi immediately.

Here's a link (uk mind) the rest is up to you bro.

Best of luck my man

u/Littleknownfacts · 1 pointr/PurplePillDebate

>It's neither agreed upon (you have no evidence past a few people, a tiny % of poster here) nor specific enough. Too many vague definitions. Useless.

Useless for you. Not for the rest of us.

>1) First of all - PPD is here to discuss TBP vs. TRP. So it would make a little too much sense to use their definition.

No. It's here to discuss RP.

>2) OK - let's say I let that slide... who are you making this definition up for? Are you the next RP blogger guru? Even they can't figure this shit out.. see Rololololo's embarassement:

No. This has just been my observations and what model makes sense based on what everyone here says. I just put it together into words for a single post. I probably wasn't even the first one to see it in the model. But everyone throws out definitions they think works best, other people read them and add that information to the model that they use in their heads (or don't), eventually the good ideas are reconciled and the bad ideas are eliminated. Literally how this works.

>>"The author's most relied-upon term, "alpha", is not given any definition at all through the first twenty percent of the book, until he gets to a chapter in which he promises to address the definition of "alpha", but in which no such definition appears. (He spends the chapter -- and three more following it! -- talking about how hard the term is to define, without defining it.) "

Yes I read this paragraph the last four times you've posted it. I still don't care.
>No, you literally had no clue how it worked. You got it all backwards. Now you're flat out lying. You don't get to come back from that flop.

You left off a comment:

>You can't even figure out if beta is "something something" or "just bad." Come on. You don't speak for all participants here, while I can clearly see what they are saying. And it's all different.

I can for 100% certainly tell you that beta is not just bad.

I don't speak for the participants here. Their up votes speak for themselves. You see how my comment is way at the top of the list? That means I've got more upvotes than other people's definition. That means they like and agree with it.

>I mean your illustrious community!

It's going fairly well, despite this one obnoxious prick who drags up arguments from months ago as an attempt to ad hominem. You'd think if he really believed in his point he would just be able to argue within the confines of this debate and not drag in old arguments like a naggy house wife.

u/Merger-Arbitrage · 1 pointr/PurplePillDebate

It's too much of a mess to even bother dealing with.

I'll repost a recent comment of mine:


RP Demagogue A

>The Alpha Traits are those associated with classic “manly man” strengths. Power, dominance, physical ability, bravery, wealth, cool and confidence. Oh and good genes. These are the things that attract women and turn them on sexually. The Alpha Traits are linked to the dopamine response in women.

>The Beta Traits are those associated with the strengths of being a nice guy / “family man”. Kindness, being a good listener, the ability to help with the children, dependability, thoughtfulness, compassion and patience. These all create a sense of comfort and safety for the woman, and relax her because she feels that if she became pregnant, the Beta Trait male isn’t going to abandon her and the baby. []


>Alpha – Socially dominant. Somebody who displays high value, or traits that are sexually attractive to women. Alpha can refer to a man who exhibits alpha behaviors (more alpha tendencies than beta), but usually used to describe individual behaviors themselves.

>Beta – Traits of provision: either providing resources or validation to others, women (and perhaps men). Beta traits display low value to women if they are are put on too strong or too early in meeting- giving without equity. Beta can be used to describe individual behaviors, as well as people who have an overwhelming amount of beta properties (opposed to alpha).

These are not the same (in particular, see "Beta" definition), unless you want to perform mental gymnastics.

For shits and giggles, let's see what someone said about Rollo / Rational Male aka

RP Demagogue B's definition of Alpha (Amazon book review):

>"The author's most relied-upon term, "alpha", is not given any definition at all through the first twenty percent of the book, until he gets to a chapter in which he promises to address the definition of "alpha", but in which no such definition appears. (He spends the chapter -- and three more following it! -- talking about how hard the term is to define, without defining it.) "


Instead, focus on the what is the cornerstone issue of PUA and TRP: attraction.

  1. Attractive traits/behaviors

  2. Unattractive traits/behaviors

    And for the special retards who can't figure it out, you can make sub-list of "attractive traits for casual sex."
u/ZebbRa · 1 pointr/offmychest

Sounds to me like you need to understand gender dynamics better and not take women at face value when they talk about what they desire in men. Good luck.

u/RPstudent · 1 pointr/TheRedPill
u/Dis_mah_mobile_one · 1 pointr/JordanPeterson

Do I think men can collectivize like women do? No. Do I think there are things to be done to let men maximize their freedom and happiness in light of the sea changes society has seen over the past half century (the full effects of which have yet to be seen)? Absolutely.

I’d highly recommend this book as it delves deeply into what masculinity is and how it finds itself in the current situation. The best immediate advice I can give you is that, since we live in a bubble and are thus in uncharted territory, any “old order” way of living i e any prescription that doesn’t take into account the changes that have already occurred, is not in your best interest. This can take various forms, everything from calls for you to “man up” and pay for things/marry/work jobs you don’t like etc. to people thinking men don’t have problems because “patriarchy” etc.

That said, men haven’t changed even as society has (d)evolved around them, and still have the same drives for mastery, respect, sex and belonging even as the means for obtaining these things are eroded or twisted, and this is why increasing numbers of men are “dropping out”.

Your job as a young man is to figure out a way to balance these two competing forces.

u/Mox_Ruby · 1 pointr/Marriage

The rational male

Best book ever.

u/tyofwa · 1 pointr/AskMen
u/RedPill-BlackLotus · 1 pointr/marriageadvice

You read the wrong books. Try this one.

It will explain exactually why she is behaving the way she is and how it's your fault. It will explain the entirety of your experience with females up untill this one.

Good luck man.

Be careful, you can't unlearn it.

u/Highborn_Hellest · 1 pointr/MGTOW

uhm...... what?! dunno if trolling or serious.
I ment this

u/TheeEmperor · 1 pointr/PrayerRequests
u/tenpointmatt · 1 pointr/AskMen

he's been raised without a positive male influence - its not your fault, but he needs a dose of truth. give him a copy of the rational male:

u/chakamaki · 1 pointr/pornfree

Remember... women doesn’t chase winners she stands at finish line and choose who ever wins.. never chase women... fight your depression... fight that -ve attitude.. focus on your health.. focus on your career.. invest sometime in helps... women and friends who comes after success are never real or yours it came because of your success... so chase the success and let everything else chase you .. read books of Rollo Tomassi ...

u/Lebensmaler · 1 pointr/MGTOW
  1. The Manipulated Man (1971) - Esther Vilar
  2. Anatomy of Female Power A Masculinist Dissection of Matriarchy (1990) - Chinweizu
  3. No More Mr. Nice Guy (2000) - Robert Glover
  4. The Rational Male (2013) - Rollo Tomassi

    All these books are very controversial even (or especially) in this subreddit. Opinions go from "this book is trash" to "this book saved from suicide". I am not exaggerating. I will not comment on their virtues and shortcomings so you can make up your own mind. Perhaps you can begin by reading the first chapter and see which one resonates more with you.

    I wish you the best. Welcome to MGTOW.
u/Honkler_world · 1 pointr/AmItheAsshole

If i were you i would run... Your body your choice mate.. Tell her that..Turn the table and pay her with the same feministic language. She is trying to control the narrative and a few months down the pike she will put a lead on you. Or let me put it this way, she will wear the pants in that relationship.

By the same token you can ask her to get chemically castrated herself if she doesn't want to have any kids. It is feasible now days. Your girlfriend has been spoon-fed a lot of bullshit.

If she is giving you ultimatums like that and you submit to them you have lost the game already. You need to be ready to walk away from her as well. I am sure you can get better quality woman elsewhere. These kinds of demands are a massive red flag. Somethings is really off...She might divorce you one day and you will be left with a massive bill and a vasectomy. Dude you have to think on many levels.

If you genuinely want kids don't have a vasectomy, and dont stay with that woman. If you don't want any kids then by all means do it, but not with that woman either. She is delusional to ask you such things.

And by the way you gotta read a book. It is called the Rational Male by Rollo Tomassi.

I would also watch his podcasts as they are invaluable for men at this point in time.

Good luck to you and thing with the big head, not the small head.

u/TogiBear · 1 pointr/asktrp

The Rational Male.

If you're still unsure, check the comments to see what other people think.

u/GayForToday124680 · 0 pointsr/Divorce

You want to know why this happened to you? The answers are in this book.

Knoledge is Power, insulate yourself from this in the future.

There is an opportunity here for you to unplug and see the world for what it really is. This is not your first rodeo, you have a daughter from a previous failed union.

Now is the time for you.


u/SamTrenbalone · 0 pointsr/Marriage

Hey man this book will explain why your wife is the way she is. It's perfect for you right now, you need a distraction.

Your story is not unique at all man, it's been told a thousand times.

Many men have gone through exactually what you are going through.

Read that book.

Good luck.

u/Trosso · 0 pointsr/MCFC

Nah I think you're over simplifying a lot of it. Sure, there's a big part of time spent to getting laid but that's the same over at /r/seduction.

My main reason for delving deeper into TRP was the discussions around masculinity. What is masculinity? What is it to be a man? A lot of boys grow up without a father or a lack of a strong father figure. People like Rollo Tomassi have writen books studying women from a behavioural psychology perspective. I went there looking to understand women with the end goal of

a) getting laid more often

b) understanding women on a carnal level

c) understanding what women genuinely want from a man.

point C is where my interests really lie, because to understand what women really want from a man you need to understand what a man actually is first.

I find a lot of guys these days are feminised and treat women as godlike, when women are just people.

there's a reason why men are committing suicide so much more than women. Why there are so many more women in university than men.

Feminism has poisoned our collective consciousness to make us ashamed of being male.

My success with women hasn't come from treating them like shit, or believing they are worthless but rather because I pulled myself together. I've hit the gym, got a better job, worked on myself and studied what women look for in a man.

I'm also disillusioned by the lack of quality women. In my mind (and I have held this opinion long before I discovered TRP) the more men a woman has slept with, the less she respects herself and the less worth she has to me. I simply don't like it. Of course, I believe people are entitled to do what they wish with their bodies, but don't expect a good man to provide for you when you whored your body out to strangers.

You may still disagree with what I'm saying, and I do agree with you that there are unsavoury aspects of TRP, but I gained a lot of it (especially when I came out of a long term relationship that fell apart because I became a doormat).

u/DemonicTutorRedPill · -8 pointsr/Marriage

Make sure you arm yourself with Knoledge. You have the right idea, don't get married.

Make sure you read this:

If you work on yourself and stay single until about 35, magic happens.

You are so lucky to make the mental association between everyone's unhappiness and marriage. It's such a horrible mistake. It's as retarded as sharing needles with a junkie.

Embrace your masculinity, spin plates.

u/m1lh0us3 · -17 pointsr/de

Ich sag mal so, das subreddit dazu ist schon arg übertrieben und die user dort, naja. Wer sich mal ohne große Übertreibungen und Idiotie zu dem Thema informieren will, dem seien diese Bücher hier von mir empfohlen: The Rational Male und The Rational Male - Preventive Medicine