Reddit reviews The Trans Partner Handbook

My spouse came out to me as MTF last June and we are still in the early phases of transition, and will start HRT in December (she can’t wait). For us, it was best to start very slow. We have known each other for 21 years, together for 19 and married for 11 years. We have two children, a boy that is 10 and daughter who is 5. It was a huge shock to me and in the early days, we (well, me) didn’t know if we were even staying together. I am still working on the grief process. What has been really helpful is communication. My partner had a lot of trauma and needed to work through that with a therapist individually and I also have my own individual therapist. I would suggest communicating with any change, I felt betrayed by my partner when they would go ahead with the next step and not discuss. (Like all of a sudden you are shaving and tucking?) It felt like a secret to me personally, when that happened, although I do understand it was to make her feel better, I still wanted to be involved. Like your wife, I questioned why this person married me. It all stems a lot of fear, betrayal, anger, etc.
Communication, communication, communication. We are still working hard at it, and will probably get a gender marriage therapist too. The Trans partner handbook
I saw this as a resource too for your partner. I need to get it for myself.
But definitely each get your own therapy. She will have to process this grief.
I had to work in therapy to get past the blame; I blamed my partner for a long time. But through therapy and my own training, I realized and accepted this is nobody’s fault and just the hand of cards we were each dealt.