Reddit Reddit reviews The Way of the Superior Man: A Spiritual Guide to Mastering the Challenges of Women, Work, and Sexual Desire

We found 66 Reddit comments about The Way of the Superior Man: A Spiritual Guide to Mastering the Challenges of Women, Work, and Sexual Desire. Here are the top ones, ranked by their Reddit score.

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The Way of the Superior Man: A Spiritual Guide to Mastering the Challenges of Women, Work, and Sexual Desire
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66 Reddit comments about The Way of the Superior Man: A Spiritual Guide to Mastering the Challenges of Women, Work, and Sexual Desire:

u/favourthebold · 766 pointsr/AskReddit

Well this seems like a good opportunity to post a few of the lessons I learned in my 20s.

To my former self:

If you're depressed, here's how to turn it around

  • Stop drinking, this is the main cause.

  • Lift weights. This alone could also stop depression. It's likely related to low testosterone levels

  • Fapping too much makes the depression worse

    Fap less, and never to porn

  • Ejaculating too often removed your motivation to take actions and start tasks. You can consider porn like a poison for the mind. Pleasurable but it desensitizes you to all other pleasures, making life seem bland and boring. Until the only thing you want is porn. It perpetuates itself.


    Gratitude

  • Whatever you are grateful for will grow

  • Gratitude is the only way to be happy. If you think about what happiness is, it's appreciating what you have. When you think of something that would make you happy, you are imagining yourself appreciating it when you get it.

    Wealth

  • You can have anything you want, as long as you create enough value for others first.

  • To be wealthy, don't try and do tomorrow's work today, just have a successful day each day. If you have more successful days than unsuccessful days, your wealth will grow. As you have successful and productive days, opportunities will be attracted to you.

    Theories

  • The key to success in any area is having the right theory. A small amount of work, or a massive amount of work, with the wrong theory, won't lead to success.

  • With the right theory, success will be relatively straight forward. When you do the thing, it will basically work every time. Anything that has been done many times before, can be done yourself with the correct theory

  • When most people speak of the 'years of hard work' they put in before they 'cracked the game', usually means they were laboring under the wrong theory, and then one day they found the correct theory, and when they applied it, it worked. (excluding world class athletes, talking about common things like starting a business or growing muscles)

  • Theories can be gathered by spending tens of thousands of dollars on seminars or tens of dollars on books. Both can contain theories that work and theories that don't work. Higher cost definitely does not mean they have the right theory

  • Some theories can seem like they are guaranteed to work, but on testing, actually don't. When someone says they have the right theory, it will seem worth any price. Often they actually don't. Beware. If possible buy their book and test it for yourself, it's just as good in book form.

  • This whole list is a list of theories, as you can see, they are usually quite simple and easy to understand. Complexity is usually a sign the person doesn't really know how things work


    Girls

  • You cannot make a girl like you, you can however find a girl who likes you

  • They key to getting girls is to get in excellent shape (lift weights), dress well, and talk to girls until you find one that likes you

  • If a girl is unsure if she you likes you, won't go on a date with you, or doesn't let you touch her in anyway. She doesn't like you. Find one that wants all those things. Don't be fooled by girls who seem to REALLY like you but doesn't have time to meet, or won't let you touch her. They do not like you like that.

  • Hot girls are just as likely to like you as not hot girls

  • If you like a girl more than she likes you, and she doesn't want to meet up/hang out/have sex. Let her go and move on


    Career

  • It's very easy to get ahead if you just try, most people don’t

  • You career will naturally progress just through normal learning, don't worry about it


    Flow

  • If you want things to happen without effort and struggle, live a life with gratitude and presence. Things will seem to happen easily and naturally.


    Meditation

  • Mediation gives you the ability to be your best. Very handy for improving at anything, particularly gaming, as you see more and learn more. It gives you access to creativity in solving problems and improving your performance

  • Mediation allows you to 'stop the mind'. Do this if you're stuck in over-analysis

  • To meditate, set a time on your phone for 20 minutes, sit still and don't move a muscle, and focus on your breath as often as you can. Your mind will try to stray, just focus on your breath as much as able. This is how you quiet the mind

    *****
    Edit:

    To answer some requests, here's my list of resources.

    Wealth/Metaphysics

  • http://www.audible.com.au/pd/Health-Personal-Development/The-Science-of-Getting-Rich-Audiobook/B00FMUQVSI
    This audiobook has the best summary I've found of how wealth works

    Lifting

  • https://stronglifts.com/5x5/

  • https://www.amazon.com/Starting-Strength-Basic-Barbell-Training/dp/0982522738

  • http://startingstrength.com/

  • http://www.leangains.com/2011/09/fuckarounditis.html

    How Procrastination works:

  • https://waitbutwhy.com/2013/10/why-procrastinators-procrastinate.html

  • https://waitbutwhy.com/2013/11/how-to-beat-procrastination.html

    How Business works

  • https://www.amazon.com/Personal-MBA-Master-Art-Business/dp/1591845572

    What innovation actually is and how to do it:

  • https://www.amazon.com/Innovation-Entrepreneurship-Peter-F-Drucker/dp/0060851139

    How economics works:

  • https://www.amazon.com/How-Economy-Grows-Why-Crashes/dp/047052670X

    How to get things done:

  • https://www.amazon.com/Getting-Things-Done-Stress-Free-Productivity/dp/0142000280

    Task Management tool:

  • https://todoist.com/

    Spiritual Books

  • Spiritual books won't make sense unless you've had an awakening, and you can't make this happen, it happens by chance/grace. If you have, anything by Eckhart Tolle will be amazing.

    How to be a man:

  • https://www.amazon.com/Way-Superior-Man-Spiritual-Challenges/dp/1591792576

  • https://www.amazon.com/Blue-Truth-Spiritual-Guide-Death/dp/1591792592

    Audiobooks (most of these can be found on audiobook):

  • Audible.com

    Frame Control (Anytime you feel like you're trying too hard or begging for something, you lost the frame)

  • https://www.amazon.com/Pitch-Anything-Innovative-Presenting-Persuading/dp/1501211811

    This is my favourite book of all. They talk about the new type of conscousness which is really really interesting to me. May not apply to all people.
    If anyone find this book interesting I'd love to talk about it:

    How the world works:

  • https://www.amazon.com/Spiral-Dynamics-Mastering-Values-Leadership/dp/1405133562

  • https://www.audible.com.au/pd/Spiral-Dynamics-Integral-Audiobook/B00FO5660E

u/drdiode · 18 pointsr/survivinginfidelity

I wish I had more of a solution other than saying see a counselor. Counseling can take a while and get expensive, and actually does take a fair bit of effort if you are looking for results, as I have found I have to spend a few hours per week between sessions reflecting on things.

Besides counseling, I have found some books to be most helpful in creating the right framework for a (hopefully) successful relationship in the future. Check out Way of the Superior Man and No More Mr. Nice Guy. From these books I have learned how to set healthy boundaries and maintain an independent life of my own before getting into another relationship.

u/Rfksemperfi · 14 pointsr/seduction

A few, in no particular order:

The Way of the Superior Man: A Spiritual Guide to Mastering the Challenges of Women, Work, and Sexual Desire
http://amzn.com/1591792576

Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion (Collins Business Essentials)
http://amzn.com/006124189X

Mastering Your Hidden Self: A Guide to the Huna Way (A Quest Book)
http://amzn.com/0835605914

My Secret Garden: Women's Sexual Fantasies
http://amzn.com/0671019872

Introducing NLP: Psychological Skills for Understanding and Influencing People (Neuro-Linguistic Programming)
http://amzn.com/1573244988

What Every BODY is Saying: An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Speed-Reading People
http://amzn.com/0061438294

The Red Queen: Sex and the Evolution of Human Nature
http://amzn.com/0060556579

Outliers: The Story of Success
http://amzn.com/0316017930

Iron John: A Book About Men
http://amzn.com/0306813769

u/marcus_life_coach · 13 pointsr/seduction

Shocked this is not listed, this book is one of the top books recommended by both the RSD crew and Mystery's crew - The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida

http://www.amazon.ca/Way-Superior-Man-Spiritual-Challenges/dp/1591792576/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1413915194&sr=8-1&keywords=deida+david

u/1000yearsold · 11 pointsr/relationships

My wife and I have been through something like what you describe, even though we're a lot older than you. We were lucky because when I realized we had a so-so sex life and started talking about improving, my wife was totally on board.

One of you has to step up to the plate and say that mediocre sex stops now. You're going to be the one to do that, probably, since you're the one who posted about it here.

You're going to have to learn to talk about sex openly and freely. This may be scary at first but it gets easier with practice. You need to be able to argue fairly about difficult topics. If you can't do that, learn. There are many good books about fighting fair as a couple that have exercises in them you can do together.

Read as much of /r/sex as you can stand, to learn how wide-ranging people's tastes are. Figure out what you want from sex and what turns you on. People's definition of bad sex varies widely.

You both need to visit mojoupgrade and fill out the quizzes there. Try everything you both are willing to try.

Get yourself a copy of this book which is 40% bullshit but the stuff in it that works, works great. Doubt everything you read in that book and take away the stuff that works for you.

Get into therapy, preferably with a therapist that does Cognitive Behavioral Therapy which has a proven track record and is not just smoke and mirrors. Find out what makes you tick and learn to fix your broken parts.

This is just a start, a few stubs of ideas to help you. I wish you well.

u/OneInAZillion · 9 pointsr/TheRedPill

I realize that all of this year's books have been chosen but I have to suggest "The Way Of The Superior Man" by David Deida

u/tecca_moba · 8 pointsr/NoFap

I feel like this should be considered normal for a heterosexual male. Tight leggings naturally draw your eyes to them. I recommend not to surpress the attraction but instead to let it flow over you, without letting it consume you. Just observe it and be thankful for the extra feeling of energy that it gives you. Maybe think about what attracts you to your gf, I suspect it is more than just her body.
In general, I have come to be thankful of the energy that emerges from attraction to the female. For me, the book Way of the Superior Man helped a lot here.

u/psykocrime · 8 pointsr/relationship_advice

> my info: im a super nerd. like i follow the pro starcraft scene and love space, science math etc. in really tall and am fairly lanky.

That's not necessarily bad... but if you want to do well with women, you'd be well served to not look the part of a "super nerd." Dress fashionably, but with a unique edge that sets your style apart from others. If you need help figuring out how to do that, hit up some of your female friends for advice, peruse GQ or Esquire or Mens Vogue, whatever.

> I tend to only have crushes on best friends and my last crush was when i was 17 (different person). Ive been caled a sweet heart and get frustrated when guys are disrespectful.

Guys get like that when they are scared to break rapport with women, and the only thing they can do is try to use pure "comfort game" to get close to the girls. Unfortunately, the result - as you may have noticed - is not usually favorable. Building comfort is important, but you have to do more... if you want girls, you have to project the vibe of a confident, mature, masculine, "in control", sexual man who "gets it." The "nerdy, insecure, shy, awkward teenage geek" vibe is a lot less effective.


> Ive been caled a sweet heart and get frustrated when guys are disrespectful.

You probably have both Nice Guy Syndrome and a touch of Disney Fantasy. I highly recommend you read the Dr. Robert Glover book No More Mr. Nice Guy, and the Neil Strauss book The Game. The former should help you understand more about asserting yourself, establishing boundaries, and being more authentic in your interactions with people. The latter will blow your mind in regards to understanding how men and women interact.

After that, it might not hurt to read Way of the Superior Man by Dave Deida.

Also, to disabuse yourself of the notion that women are all sweet and pure and innocent and virtuous and made of light (or sugar and spice and puppy dog tails, whatever) spend some time reading stuff like My Secret Garden by Nancy Friday, or The Good Girl's Guide to Bad Girl Sex by Barbara Keesling, or Chelsea Handler's My Horizontal Life.

Finally, read Sperm Wars by Robin Baker. That will make a great many things much clearer.

u/TrippAdvice1 · 7 pointsr/seduction

Great question, man! Nobody ever asks this. I thought the post written a week ago about advice from a 68 year old man was GOLD. Check this out if you haven't:

http://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/r381m/advice_from_an_experienced_natural_68_year_old/

Also, I wrote an article for an online magazine a few months back about the most important parts in relationships:

http://wilesmag.com/2012/what-he-wants-9/

I have been in a relationship for over a year now and I work real hard at it. I believe communication, sex, and excitement are probably the three most important aspects in a relationship.

•Communication: Always speak up. Say how you feel. Don't hold anything in. Talk openly about your feelings and concerns. This will prevent big fights.

•Sex: Keep this alive and strong. Do it frequently. If you're ever bored start spicing it up. This keeps the attraction strong.

•Excitement: Beyond sex, make sure you're always going on trips (even inexpensive small ones) and going on dates. Have things to look forward to, in order to keep the progression of the relationship alive.

Another great resource is the book: http://www.amazon.com/The-Way-Superior-Man-Challenges/dp/1591792576/ref=pd_sim_b_4

That will help you understand the male and female essence and how it all works together. I would say it's like a new age "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus". Highly recommended.

u/nacreous · 7 pointsr/relationships

> whining

and

> "there's a lot of other girls who would do this"

Dude needs to read this book and get his shit together. This is no way to conduct yourself as a respectful partner, male or female.

u/Enphuego · 5 pointsr/AskReddit

Your paying entirely too much attention to the content of her complaint rather than the emotion of her complaint. Although she may say so she probably doesn't really want a guy that is more emotional.

Perhaps she:
Feels like you don't need her?
Doesn't know what you really think of her?
Needs for you to demonstrate that you are trustworthy?

I had a girlfriend that for ages complained about the same thing, but keep in mind that what a woman says she wants out of a relationship and really wants out of a relationship are two different things.

A book that really helped me deal with women was The Way of the Superior Man

u/Ziniath · 4 pointsr/books

Way of the Superior Man, by David Deida. This is just one of those books that is always relevant, no matter what you're facing. I can consistently flip to any random page in this book, read for a few paragraphs, and find complete and shattering truth that is relevant to whatever I am dealing with at the time.

I'm fairly certain I've purchased this book about 7 times because people keep borrowing it and finding it mind-blowing - so I just let them keep it and buy another copy for myself.

Here's an amazon link for anybody interested: http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/1591792576

Read the description before you jump to the conclusion that this book is anti-woman... It couldn't be further from the truth.

A must own for anybody in a committed relationship.

u/ZeroBugBounce · 3 pointsr/IAmA

You said "tell me anything" so I'd like to try to be helpful.

Btw, I am a guy, was cheated on multiple times by my first wife. Am happy with my 2nd wife now.

As I see it:
First, let me affirm that your sexual desire as a man is completely legitimate, right and proper you should never make excuses for it, nor apologize for it in any way.

Not every expression of this desire is right, however. In marrying your wife, she was entrusted as the sole partner for outlet of that desire. Marriage is not an excuse, imo, to not try to beguile or seduce or otherwise convince your wife to have sex (convince her in a way that she would like it, too)

I do think there were some other comments about re-igniting this desire and I think it's important to investigate that. Have you tried? Are you interested in trying, or is there some built-up frustration there? There comes a point when 'trying to re-ignite the spark' can and should become 'seeking counseling together'. If one or both of you are harboring pent up bad feelings, it might be there already, what do you think?

One book I loved on this subject is the ill-titled "Way of the Superior Man". It's a very simple, mostly palatable intuitive instruction guide for man about how to "be the man" towards women without being unethical. A lot of its instruction is about the counter-intuitive nature of attraction. It's the closest thing I've found to a seduction book without actually being a seduction book. I've even had several lesbian friends comment on how good its thinking is.

u/glutenfulgoddess · 3 pointsr/TwoXChromosomes
u/rmbarnes · 3 pointsr/seduction

Try these books:

http://www.amazon.com/New-Psycho-Cybernetics-Maxwell-Maltz/dp/0735202850/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1293190801&sr=8-2 - This one teaches you that the way you act and what you are capable of is largely based on your self image.

http://www.amazon.com/Way-Superior-Man-Spiritual-Challenges/dp/1591792576/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1293190916&sr=1-1 - This one helps you to understand a lot of stuff about your masculine nature, and how it relates to female nature, and how the two compliment each other. Ignore the spirituality based explanations though, the real explanations of male vs female nature is rooted in evolutionary biology.

The first book is pretty long. Just reading it won't do much. You have to go back over it after you've read it and do all of the mental exercises. I'm only starting to do that now, but I have heard other people have improved their inner game by doing this.

This book isn't about game or getting laid, but yet after reading it I had an epiphany: game isn't about women, it's about me. Game used to feel like me vs women, like I had to master them. Now I realise my only enemy in getting good at game is myself. It is myself, not women that I need to master. This is the same with many things in life: running is about the runner, not his opponents or the track. Weightlifting isn't about the weights or the other competitors, it's about the weightlifter himself.

He who masters himself will reach his full potential, and no one can do more than that.

u/BegorraOfTheCross · 3 pointsr/Buddhism

Look for a lineage that speaks to your heart. Mastering the core teachings of the Buddha is the best direction for myself personally, which I found from this podcast which led me to this kind of wacky 3 part video, which inspired me to read the book. There is a free pdf of the book linked from the author's website. Time is probably better spent just going with something then flittering back and forth and always looking for a path but never walking one.

If you can manage to get yourself to a buddhist retreat do it. Practicing every moment every day for a week or so is incredible and I think inherently perspective/insight changing. I'd recommend studying what to do on retreats beforehand, so you are better able to practice effectively in every moment during the retreat, and better able to communicate questions to the teacher. Honestly, if you make a ten day retreat with some knowledge of what to do, and just keep on trucking through it to the end, you will probably reach insights & samadhi/jhana intensity which will make weed/alcohol appear essentially boring, and which will also really establish a pretty unshakeable Saddhā in the Dharma, with a strong sense that you know where you are going and how to get there (and a sense of how much it will actually take to get there.)

Put some dharma talks onto your phone/ipod. Listen when you drive/clean whenever seems appropriate. Joseph Goldstein is one of my favorite speakers to listen to. He's repetitive, but so are the original texts. Here is his kind of epic 46 part talk over 5 years on the Satipatthana Sutta.

I always use a timer for formal practice for myself, 20 minute sits etc., the fact that I may sincerely need to do something else timewise (eat, bathroom, pay bills) or be actually hurting myself from a certain posture for too long will require my attention otherwise.

Also, the world outside of practice is hard, especially when the heart is open. I've found The way of the Superior Man and especially some torrentable live discussions of the authors to be the most useful perspective I've come across for trying to deal with practical reality & relationships.

Metta my friend, may your path be easy and true.

u/psydave · 3 pointsr/AskMen

Other people here may think this is silly, but I don't.

I totally understand, as I have at one point in my life derived exactly that from sleeping around (never when I was in a relationship tho). It does make a big difference in this area.

There are, however, other ways to obtain self-confidence and self-esteem. This may also sound silly to a lot of people, but one of the things I did was buy a motorcycle, and let me tell you, there's very few things that make me feel like so much of a man as zipping past heavy traffic in the commuter lane, or splitting lanes, reducing my commute time by 50%. Sex does the same thing, especially when I'm being dominant. My current girlfriend likes and encourages me to be dominant in the bedroom, and let me tell you... nothing like finishing inside her (she's on the pill) after I've called all the shots, told her that she's my woman, and done everything I've wanted to do to her. It's extremely validating when, in the moments after, she cuddles up next to me, looking flushed and satisfied, and confident in me as a man. It is possible to obtain part (but not all) of your self-esteem and confidence from one woman alone--you just need to be able to express yourself fully and have her absolutely love it the way my girlfriend does.

Anyhow, it sounds to me like in your current relationship you might not feel comfortable expressing your yourself/your manliness, or may be you're just not comfortable with it at all, even outside of a relationship. It's possible that your girlfriend has issues with expression of yourself/manliness and so you are conditioned away from expressing it. Been there in a previous relationship so I know this can seriously effect your self-esteem and confidence. Talk to her about it--most women "secretly" (or not so secretly) want a partner who's manly and dominant in the bedroom and usually out of the bedroom too.

To save your relationship, you need to find a way to express your manliness in a non-sexual way--whatever way works best for you, be it a motorcycle, sports, power tools, martial arts, or whatever creative and unique way you come up with on your own.

I'd also recommend seeing if you can try being a bit more dominant in the bedroom too, or at least expressing yourself fully and passionately. Once you get comfortable with it, chances are she'll enjoy it too. I'm lucky to have a girlfriend that openly wants me to be dominant in the bedroom--she makes it clear that she wants it so I don't have to worry about offending her. (A lot of women these days..)

Finally you need to determine what being a man means to you... There are two books I'd recommend: Way of the Superior Man (a great book with a stupid title) and Real Men Don't Apologize. The former is somewhat spiritual in nature, the latter appeals to a wider audience. Get the audio books if you need to--I did. Some people may think these books are full of misogyny, but in fact, nothing could be further from the truth. They are more about finding your identity as a man, and part of that, both books emphasize, is respect for women and the light they can bring to our lives.

Addendum: I also wanted to clarify: you cannot get all of your confidence and self-esteem from sleeping with a lot of women. Do this too much and it'll become addictive and ultimately lead to a loss of confidence and self-esteem. (Been there, done that!) You need multiple sources of confidence and self-esteem, sex and feeling desired by other people can only be one of the ways you obtain these things. Otherwise, the pursuit is ultimately fruitless and empty. It seems great at first, but after a while, you'll end up hating yourself far more than you would have otherwise.

This is all advice from a 36 year old male who's never been married and has slept with a lot of women. Trust me, it's not all its cracked up to be.

u/ajscott123 · 2 pointsr/AskReddit

To men out there who want to find a woman? Try understanding yourself first. Highly recommend The Way of the Superior Man which I am reading right now and has taught me to better respect and honor my fiancee for our differences.


Namely, between feminine and masculine which does not necessarily coincide with gender.

u/tecz0r · 2 pointsr/everymanshouldknow

Hey there buddy, I think this is an excellent question. I've researched it myself and found that THIS is supposedly a very good source of information. It's on my nightstand although I haven't read it yet.

u/DutchUncle · 2 pointsr/relationship_advice

No one with any sense wants to get into "the game," because what after all is the prize? You don't want to be a pick up artist, right? For what?

But, women are attracted to certain things -- and strangely enough, it's not what the bullshit love songs and Hallmark cards would have you believe. They're attracted to masculinity, which is not the same as being a jerk. However, jerks do a good job of simulating strong backbone, single-mindedness, and self-assuredness -- knowing what you want and going after it.

Do yourself a favor. Read The Way of the Superior Man. It's not a pickup artist's book. It's a book about what the modern man needs to know, and what, sadly, the modern world leaves him ignorant of.

-------
Edit: Oh, and one more thing. Listen to this podcast episode. The show is called "The Chick Whisperer." The host is part of the pickup artist community, but he's perhaps the most normal and sensible among them. I'm not giving my endorsement (big deal -- who am I, after all) of the entire show, but this particular episode, Episode 10, with guest Sebastian Drake, is priceless. Seriously.

You can find it here, if you have iTunes.

If you don't have iTunes, you can get an MP3 download here.

You won't be disappointed. It's free.

u/philofthepresnt · 2 pointsr/selfhelp

David Deida's The way of the superior man is supposed to be a classic.

u/KeroKeroKeroppi · 2 pointsr/seduction

So true, haha!
highly recommend this book which helped me learn to deal with that craziness: http://www.amazon.com/The-Way-Superior-Man-Challenges/dp/1591792576

fair warning: its kinda out there at times, but still good stuff.

u/HappyBritish · 2 pointsr/LifeImprovement

These are some great books I've read recently:

Influence: Psychology of Persuasion. How salespeople use psychology tricks on you.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/006124189X?psc=1&redirect=true&ref_=oh_aui_detailpage_o03_s00


Power of now. The present moment is the only thing that exists. Very deep book and not too hard to get through.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/0340733500?psc=1&redirect=true&ref_=oh_aui_detailpage_o02_s00


Psycho-cybernetics. A book about psychology, more about improving your self-image and confidence.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/0671700758?psc=1&redirect=true&ref_=oh_aui_detailpage_o03_s00


Think and grow rich. A good book that will motivate you to work harder.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/1906465592?psc=1&redirect=true&ref_=oh_aui_detailpage_o05_s00


Way of the superior man. Great book on relationships with women and what it means to be a man.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/1591792576?psc=1&redirect=true&ref_=oh_aui_detailpage_o07_s00


Mediations by Marcus Aurelius, nearly 2000 year old book! Great wisdom in here but I'd read some of these other books first. Make sure you get this version (Gregory hays translation) if you do buy the book, as apparently it has the best translation.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Meditations-Marcus-Aurelius/dp/0753820161/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1425294467&sr=1-3&keywords=meditations

u/Jessie_James · 2 pointsr/AskMenOver30

I read all of that. For your sake, I am going to get right to the point here.

You have the dating and relationship skills of a 12 year old. You idolize every woman you meet as a mother figure. This causes "One-itus". Go Google it now.

You have spent years learning English, IT, stuff about motorcycles, but I bet you have spent ZERO time learning about dating, self-improvement, and women.

Am I right?

I know I am, because you are describing exactly what I went through at your age. Disaster after disaster with women. A totally amazing Harley. Traveling and meeting women, only to break down like an idiot and scare them off.

The solution, that worked for me, was to read a lot of books and then go and date and MAKE MISTAKES and LEARN FROM THOSE MISTAKES and then try again and IMPROVE MYSELF.

These are the most helpful books I found.

  1. Doc Love and his dating advice. You can read his syndicated articles here and after reading a ton of those, I strongly, strongly, strongly recommend you buy his "System" at his website. Yes, it's $100, and it is worth every penny. I will warn you - it is poorly written, poorly organized, and won't make a bit of sense to you when you first read it. That is because it is, basically, written in a foreign language to you. You need to just read it, then go out for a month, then read it again 30 days later. Upon reading it the SECOND time, every mistake you made will suddenly jump off the pages. This is because you have no experience with women, therefore of course it won't make any sense.

  2. David DeAngelo and his Double Your Dating series. You can download this free right here but DON'T DO IT until after you have read the Doc Love stuff and understand it. Now, not all of his stuff is good, so you need to judge for yourself what stuff you think is viable, but all in all he helped me totally turn myself around.

  3. No More Mr. Nice Guy. Amazon. Buy it, read it.

  4. Way of the Superior Man Amazon. Another good read.

    If you can take a few hours to read all that, and then work on what you learn for a few months, you may end up like me. In six months my perspective on women radically changed and I learned how to be attractive to women, be HONEST, be a good person, how to have some standards, I didn't fall in love with any women who looked at me, and so forth.

    Those books also helped me with my career, and being honest, productive, and happy with my work.

    So, you wrote all that, and I posit to you that the answers are already written down in those (and many other) books.

    Keep us posted.
u/pickup_sticks · 2 pointsr/RedPillWomen

Guy here. You might want to read Way of the Superior Man. Yes, it's for guys, but I know some women who've read it and liked it. In a nutshell, he talks about feminine energy and masculine presence. They attract and need each other. So if a woman is wondering what she contributes besides sex appeal, energy might be the answer.

I think of it like dancing. The man leads and sets the frame, but the woman provides the energy and flash that makes good dancers look like lovers in ecstasy.

Also, David Deida has another book called It's A Guy Thing: A Owner's Manual for Women. I haven't read it but have heard good things.

u/benallfree · 2 pointsr/relationship_advice

I typed a long reply but I'm not sure I want to deal with the negative comments that would ensue. If you are genuinely troubled by this dynamic and love your SO, check out this book and see if it rings true for you.

u/kerrielou73 · 2 pointsr/exmormon

You might check out The Way of the Superior Man It has quite a bit of relationship advice that worked for us for a few years. We did finally divorce, but this book and others by David Deida did help us when we were going through some real struggles as we made our way out and had 2 more kids. I think reading Deida also helped us communicate during and after the divorce even. It just overall improved our communication.

Edited to add: 20th Anniversary Edition

Intimate Communion is good too, but I wouldn't read it without reading the other one first.

u/DevilSaintDevil · 2 pointsr/exmormon

Read The Way of the Superior Man or other similar material.

You are a total beta Brad. Your wife doesn't respect you, you don't respect yourself. You have to pull yourself together whether you get divorced or whether you stay together. So start now.

Prioritize doing what you need to do to achieve your potential starting now. If she leaves along the way, so be it. But there is no reason for you to wait to become the man you can become.

Exercise daily. For an hour. No matter what. Lift. Run. Both. Really.

Meditate, go talk to a therapist/counselor. Both. Really. This is a really great starting place. [So is this.] (http://www.amazon.com/Mans-Search-Meaning-Viktor-Frankl-ebook/dp/B009U9S6FI/ref=zg_bs_12621_25).

What is the meaning of life? The universe doesn't give a shit. So go make your own meaning. Really. Make your own meaning--create something you can lay on your death bed and be proud of which made the world a better place for others.

Be the man. Make this your mantra. Be the man. Be the man. Get off your arse and go make the life of your dreams come true. Good luck.

Your marriage will succeed or it will fail, either outcome might be good or it might be bad--and will most certainly be both in some respects. But stop with the fear and uncertainty and go create your best reality. The rest will take care of itself.

u/StudiedUnderSinn · 2 pointsr/AskReddit

Be true to yourself.

She and the kids are a package deal; stay if you love them, leave if you don't.

Do not stay due to a sense of duty.

Buy and read this book; it explains why your situation makes you feel bad, and what to do about it.

u/Da_Dude_Abides · 2 pointsr/AskReddit

When we say love we are actually talking about three differentiable but overlapping phenomena.

a) honeymoon emotions(e.g butterflies in stomach, complete infatuation, etc...)

b) sexual polarization - Ever have the urge to just take her and have your way with her? Is the feeling mutual?

c) "oneness" - Ever have sympathy pains? Is your state of mind mirrored in her state of mind and viceversa? Just another way of saying empathy I suppose, this is the same love you share with a child or any "loved one".

In western culture we get the message that love = "honeymoon emotions" but that is a temporary stage in a relationship. This can be confusing. But you also have to ask yourself how are you doing in the other two departments? Is the sex good? Are you guys in "sync"?

-written by proxy for David Deida

u/Badk1d · 2 pointsr/IWantToLearn

Buy and read this book, "The Way of the Superior Man"

u/DisobedientCog · 2 pointsr/INTP

https://www.amazon.com/Way-Superior-Man-Spiritual-Challenges/dp/1591792576/ref=nodl_

And thank you, I really hope things run their course and our relationship gets to where it finally needs to be.

u/CoachAtlus · 2 pointsr/streamentry

Good observations. Thanks for sharing. I definitely noticed a shift in my perspective on air travel after practicing. My teacher mentioned the same thing. Long plane rides are an excellent opportunity to practice, like driving, but with even less need for conscious attention to any particular activity.

Regarding dating, it's useful to evaluate what draws you to it. That's something I've observed and questioned closely after beginning to date shortly after becoming separated and then proceeding through a divorce. Spurred on by metta? What do you mean by that exactly? I found that David Deida's The Way of the Superior Man provided a useful perspective on remaining purposeful and path-oriented (whatever that means to you) in the face of dating relationships, using those relationships as a chance to practice unconditional love, fearlessness, and freedom.

u/Nicceguy777 · 1 pointr/sex

Hey friend
Thanks for sharing and your vulnerability.

Would you believe that I can actually relate to you? I can in more ways than you can imagine. I was celibate throughout my 20's because I was religious. No fapping...no porn...no sex. I love sex! But I was told bad things would happen if I had sex by religious leaders and believed them. Later I got married to a woman I wasn't attracted to for religious reasons too. It is a common theme for much of my life. 5 years ago I was going nuts. I had never had good sex and I wanted it so bad. This wasn't possible with my wife.

I stared seeing prostitutes. At first it was the best thing in the world. I could have sex with beautiful woman and I just had to give them money. But I soon realized I longed for connection more than sex. When I realized that I couldn't get that connection with a prostitute I started having ED too. Embarrassing is an understatement. I feel you there. But it was because I was wanting to connect on a heart level and I needed a relationship where I felt safe to do that. I wasn't living in my truth and was living to try to fit into what I thought everyone else wanted me to be instead of saying, "this is me! I love who I am! I may be weird and some of you may choose to ditch me because they don't get me. But those who choose to know me will find that I have a heart of gold and will be my friend for life."

Cheating on my wife with prostitutes is not a "heart of gold" act. I wanted I make that clear. But I told my wife everything and we got a divorce.

After I was free to explore I did. People had questioned my sexuality for years. I never felt gay but I thought I might as well give it a try. I tried it a few times and couldn't get into it. I now know from experience that I am straight. But if I wasn't that would have been cool too.
I think it's awesome that you are "man" enough to explore your sexuality. You should be proud of that.

I love that you spend time in meditation. 40 minutes a day is great.


I have a some specific advice for you that I think might help a lot.

There is a book called the magdalen manuscripts. It is about sacred sexuality and sex magic. It is like merging sex and meditation. I think that you are having such a hard time with sex because your guides don't want you to waste your time with shallow sex. They want you to experience the best sex possible. I can tell by your writing that you have the heart to have this kind of sex. Not everyone can do it. It takes the ability to meditate and a gentle spirit which I see in you.

Here is what I recommend and I want you to know that I am doing the same thing now.

Get the book and read it. Or even better read it with a girl you want to explore sacred sexuality with. I met the most beautiful woman the other night. We talked and really connected. She gets back from a trip on Saturday. I am going to ask her to read the book with me. We will read it to each other and then practice it together.

I would even be open to staying in contact with you and comparing notes. I am new to this too but I know that it's real and it had not yet hit the mainstream yet. Oh but trust me it will. I have ideas :)

Either way. I wish you well. You are not alone and to me you are a beautiful example of a human being trying your best to figure this life thing out. You are on your way.


Here is a link to the book
http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/193103205X/ref=redir_mdp_mobile

And here's another
http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/1591792576/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?qid=1372806050&sr=8-1&pi=SL75



u/superfuntime · 1 pointr/polyamory

You might enjoy The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida. Similar thoughts, not necessarily about poly, but about the development of the whole spirit.

u/Ilostmynewunicorn · 1 pointr/portugal

Achas? Porquê? Eu achei bastante bom. Não no estilo de aprender a seduzir pessoas ou coisa do gênero, mas pela conclusão da experiência, de que nada daquilo tinha valido a pena, até que ponto é que se tinham deixado de levar, o quão perdida toda a gente estava, etc.

Acho que é um livro muito interessante para se ler de forma geral e para aprender alguma coisa sobre a vida. Não é um livro sobre sedução ou relações, para isso recomendo The Way of the Superior Man ou a Art of Seduction do Robert Greene, nunca li mas já me disseram que é decentemente bom.

O Way of the Superior Man não dá nenhuma dica passo-a-passo, mas diz qual é o mindset que deve predominar nas relações ou no inicio das mesmas. Tanto em termos de começar e manter relações como de sensualidade é um dos melhores livros que já li.

u/Frandaman760 · 1 pointr/dating

You sound like you are throwing in the towel, which I did for two years after 22 years of no action and much, much frustration. So I'm just gonna recommend three books that helped me out. I highly, highly recommend the first. The second is what got me out of my funk. These two books helped me understand women where before I frankly didn't know shit. The third one is great for confidence/self esteem, which can help anyone.

The Way of the Superior Man

How to be a 3% Man

6 Pillars of Self Esteem

I am aware of how cringey/snake oil'sy some of these books come off as(especially How to be a 3% Man), but they are good.

Edit: And if you aren't going to read any of this stuff, at least do yourself a favor and work on improving your posture. It makes a huge difference in how people respond to you.

u/hotpajamas · 1 pointr/AskMen

Way of the Superior Man by David Deida. It may not be as accessible to teenagers, but your 18-19 year old's may benefit.

u/StateAardvark · 1 pointr/Sleepycabin

I'm not Jeff, but I've struggled with this as well. Some books that have helped me were Way of the Superior Man, 50th Law, and Meditations. They're worth a read.

u/NameOfAction · 1 pointr/sex

These books will change your lives. They're short and easy to read. They get kinda new agey, but if you can get past that theres alot of truth.

http://www.amazon.com/The-Way-Superior-Man-Challenges/dp/1591792576

http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_1?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=enlightened+sex+manual

u/BreweryBaron · 1 pointr/AskReddit

hey, you sound like a really nice guy. but it also sounds like you like your wife a lot (when she is not blowing up at you)

check out this book, its really really good (its not for men in particular, but its about the issues a man faces)
http://www.amazon.com/Way-Superior-Man-David-Deida/dp/1591792576

u/Jr0218 · 1 pointr/Meditation

This. Going into zen teacher mode when your SO is stressed is just going to come off as annoying. A lot of the time people don't actually want someone to try and fix their problems, but someone who will listen.

Recommended reading: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Way-Superior-Man-David-Deida/dp/1591792576

Has some weird parts, but definitely explains the correct way to deal with your partner :)

u/Micosilver · 1 pointr/AskMen

You don't need to suppress it. You can enjoy watching a beautiful woman, you can appreciate the beauty, the feminine energy, this is what we do. Then we go back to our partner and make her happy the best we can.

https://www.amazon.com/Way-Superior-Man-Spiritual-Challenges/dp/1591792576

u/InaV8 · 1 pointr/TrueAskReddit

David Deida has some really good insight into spiritual growth and sacred intimacy. I learned a lot from his book The Way of the Superior Man, which is also in audio book format. He has a generally more eastern philosophical view on the subject, incorporating ideas of masculine and feminine energy. It's very empowering and offers a great perspective towards understanding the role of sex in the greater picture of our being. Highly recommend his stuff.

u/Distracteddaydreamer · 1 pointr/TwoXChromosomes

I cant offer you any real advice on your situation as I haven't experienced this for myself but I can recommend a book. What you are explaining, David talks about a lot in the book and I feel you both would really benefit from this.

The way of the superior man by David Deida

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Way-Superior-Man-David-Deida/dp/1591792576

Just don't give up and don't ever stop showing that you love her.

u/WiseBinky79 · 1 pointr/IAmA

Have you read "the way of the superior man"? If not, I highly suggest you do.

u/Dr_Mercury · 1 pointr/everymanshouldknow

The Way of the Superior Man - Don't ask questions, read it and you will understand.

u/Atrix621 · 1 pointr/malefashionadvice

You should decide what your goal is and then dress for that. This sounds vague but these subtleties separate the men from the boys. It's what separates being "nice" versus being "kind." I never understood this stuff until I read No More Mr Nice Guy and The Way of the Superior Man. Questions like the one you asked are starting to go away for me from the perspective these authors present.

To get back to the topic...

  • All compliments are not the same. Some are based around an item, some are based around you. You want the later.
  • Do what you think approaches the self-actualized you. (Think of the confident you, what would he do and do that)

    Hope this helps.
u/TheGuru12 · 1 pointr/TrueOffMyChest

All the information you will get is absolute bullshit, Sorry I know this sounds entitled, selfish, spoiled, or ungrateful or whatever it is. Whatever anyone is going to tell you is utter self serving aggrandizing horse shit. So you think that learning to play Badminton or whatever is going to get you laid? That will only get you in with people who you have that in common, Pretty shaky ground for a relationship don't you think? How many of them do you think are single? There is a lot to be said for joining clubs, Yes. Sport is a good thing. No doubt about that.


I know this is going to get down-voted by the masses but so be it. I am talking from first hand experience here. The truth is that most of us are faking it, at least part of the time. At least I have at some point in the past. It's important to remember we're never less than anyone else.


I could give you a perfectly scripted conversation that would get you laid, Be it immoral or unethical, No one gets hurt and it would bank some confidence for next time for you.


This sentence blew my mind....


I'd kinda like to get this fixed sooner rather than later. I'm sure a good portion of the fault of this can be blamed on my standards being too high.


Fuck that, So what? You want to lower the bar for yourself? Guess what. That only hurts you and the other party. Aim fucking high man. People will only be jealous and envious of you getting what you want. The people who will be happy that you said that are the ones who are unhappy themselves and the ones who wished they aimed high. So good on you for having high standards. Keep it that way.


You want a quick fix? Serious. Go gatecrash a wedding. This weekend. Get a mate and do it. You might strike out or whatever but guess what, You have one hell of a story to tell. Tell that on your date..."Someone on the internet told me to crash a wedding, So I did..." I can imagine the reply's now "Oh my god that's amazing, Did you get caught??" It has mystery, intrigue and danger/excitement. "I smoked a cigar with the brides father, He bought me a beer... I wonder where the happy couple are now?"


See what is happening? Your making her laugh...

Read these books. They literally saved my life.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Laws-Power-Robert-Greene-Collection/dp/1861972784

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Way-Superior-Man-David-Deida/dp/1591792576

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Game-Undercover-Secret-Society-Artists/dp/184767237X

u/akthero · 0 pointsr/NoFap

What? You think the point of sex is ejaculation?! That's crazy, I suggest you look into seminal retention, there are some great books explaining it. Here's a start:
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Way-Superior-Man-David-Deida/dp/1591792576/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1377202194&sr=8-1&keywords=the+way+of+the+superior+man

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Taoist-Secrets-Love-Cultivating-Sexual/dp/0943358191/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1377202236&sr=8-1&keywords=cultivation+of+male+sexual+energy

Seriously, this shit is powerful. Sex becomes so much better in every way (pleasure, intimacy, duration) once you learn to harness and control your sexual energy. Ejaculation for any other purpose than reproduction is a waste.

u/TreesOfGreen · 0 pointsr/relationship_advice

Sometimes women/people want you to lead, rather than simply respond to their fears in such a way that those fears become validated. No harm from reading that book. You could also read this.

u/nomorepuppydog · -1 pointsr/OneY

notreellymee, I would suggest this book The Way Of the Superior Man This book isn't all about sex be he does spend a good portion of it on the 'sex' side of things. I would suggest you read it. Even if its not for your reasons posting here.

u/audiophilistine · -3 pointsr/AdviceAnimals

I read a book once called The Way of the Superior Man, which is about being the best man you can be. Great book, I highly recommend it. Anyhow there's a section dealing with arguments with women. In it the author states that women sometimes feel the need to start a fight to test their man to see if he's worthy. Apparently it's some genetic programming there to be sure you're strong enough to handle your shit in a crisis.

I've asked girlfriends about this theory and a couple have told me that's a pretty good description. They see themselves deliberately start a fight and couldn't explain why other than they just needed to. The really sad thing is, according to the book, this isn't a test you can pass once and never be tested again. It will happen again and again over the course of any relationship. Just recognize it for what it is and be strong and supportive. In other words, be a man.

u/_lordgrey · -3 pointsr/minimalism

OP, you urgently need to read a book called The Way of the Superior Man. It's not about men being superior to women, it's about a superior KIND of man, who has figured out the essential differences in male vs. female attitudes.


In short, men are (generally speaking) linear thinkers. We like clean lines, we can read maps, and we put things in their place. Women are kinesthetic, emotionally driven creatures who are more into the "vibe" right now - more immediate, arguably more creative, and way more intense.

David Deida studied tantra in Tibet - not the "sex" kind, but the actual mastery of female and male forces within the body, and how interpersonal relationships work in this dynamic. It actually makes a lot of sense, if you're a focused minimalist, why your "opposite" would be this hyper messy chick. You probably have great sex. Seriously, go read this book. You will start appreciating why she's like that and why she has stuff spilling everywhere. It's like the cup of Dionysus that overflows with wine.


The key in the end is, she is helping you to master your emotions (even if she didn't have all this stuff, she would be fucking with you in other ways, I promise) and you are helping her to master her emotions. The key is learning to focus on what your mission is in life and to keep winning at that mission. (This is not an easy thing to hear, it definitely wasn't easy for me to read the first time around.) If you're seriously killing it at your job / mission / quest, you'll be grateful that you have a girlfriend and her stuff spilling everything will just be amusing to you.

u/c00kiecutter · -10 pointsr/niceguys