Reddit reviews The Way They Were: Dealing with Your Parents' Divorce After a Lifetime of Marriage

I'm not a psychologist or psychiatrist, so I can't comment as to whether medication would benefit you - but you don't think it will, so that's a strong indication that it's not a good approach at this time.

However, I do think you should seek grief counseling in order to learn to engage and heal the emotional trauma. The root event (or set of events) described in your OP is your parents' divorce. That is a serious loss event in your life, and every indication from your OP and responses indicates, to me - again, not a professional counselor - that you've got significant grief to work through as a consequence of that loss. I strongly suspect that the career issues and seduction event would have played less strongly in your mind were your emotional well-being intact when those things happened.

Grief counseling might be found in group meetings or with a licensed mental health professional. Look for folks/groups who specialize in dealing with the aftermath of parental divorce.

Here are some books that may be helpful:

http://www.amazon.com/The-Way-They-Were-Lifetime/dp/1400082102

http://www.amazon.com/Grief-Out-Season-Parents-Divorce/dp/0316363510/

A grief counselor would have better recommendations - my recommendation is you find grief counseling.

Uggg... I'm sorry. I've been there and it's awful. The worst part for me was thinking that my family had been lying to me for a long time. Like in all those great family memories it turns out I was the only one having a good time and my parents were just pretending. (FWIW, that messed me up for a long time by making me want to keep my guard up with my own romantic partners.)

In terms of advice, though, there are two books I know of:
A Grief Out of Season and The Way They Were

I can recommend A Grief Out of Season - I bought it and it helped. The Way They Were wasn't out yet when I was going through my shit.

I'm sorry to hear about your parents. Divorce is never fun.

This is the only reasonably priced book on the subject.

http://www.amazon.com/The-Way-They-Were-Lifetime/dp/1400082102

This is actually pretty common -- it's called Adult Children of Divorce (ACOD). Couples will wait to divorce until their kids are grown so that their children can grow up with two parents. They've probably been unhappy for years and decided to break it off once everyone was out of the house.

> I know it is less serious than having your parent split at an earlier age, so don't patronize me.

Sadly, this can do more damage as opposed to a child growing up with split parents. ACODs develop a shattered perception of love and stability, oftentimes introducing unwanted step-families in adulthood, too.

Whatever you do, don't get involved. Sometimes one parent will seek support from his or her children, expecting them to help in the fight. Talk to your siblings, agree on how you plan to visit your parents in the future (holidays and whatnot), and stick to your plan.

Also, seek some therapy and talk it out with your siblings -- this really isn't pretty, and some long-term repercussions could surface later in life when you get married.

Relevant links:

• Adult Children of Divorce
  
• Children Who Are Over 18 When Parents Separate Are Equally Affected
  
• The Way They Were: Dealing With Your Parents' Divorce After a Lifetime of Marraige