Reddit reviews This Is a Book for Parents of Gay Kids: A Question & Answer Guide to Everyday Life (Book for Parents of Queer Children, Coming Out to Parents and Family)

>When it comes to intimacy and stuff, don’t really mention it.
>
>If you want to be more educated then that’s cool but talking about it with your kid is a bit weird haha.

Hard disagree. I'm totally with you on offering an environment with affirmative support and love, but we're also talking about parenting, and sometimes parenting is about having awkward conversations that are still important.

Gay kids don't get sex ed. By and large, their issues aren't addressed at school or any other environment in an honest, factual way. These kids find out by experimenting, sometimes by making stupid mistakes, and occasionally by making mistakes that they'll have to deal with for the rest of their lives.

Dad, it's time to read up. You don't need to completely re-do the talk, but you need to reinforce the most important parts (condoms always) from a new perspective, and reiterate that you're available to answer questions now that y'all have a better understanding of each other. Also, consider getting some books! Even if your son isn't super excited to come to you with a particularly . . . graphic question, a good book might have the answer. There're lots of great books, like maybe this one. And consider getting this one for yourself! You don't need to know everything, but you need to be prepared to learn anything -- sounds like it'll be a great journey for the both of you!

First of all, it’s great that your son got the courage to confide in you. What you do next could literally be a life and death experience for him. It’s critical you get this right because so many gay teens self-harm without the support of a loving family. Our society is brutal on them.

Please read up carefully. Here are some links to resources. Please ask him if it would be okay if you talk to his psychologist about how best to support him — maybe you can meet there together a few times. You might need your own therapist to help you work through how and when to approach your husband about this. Good luck and I wish you all the best in creating a loving relationship with your son founded upon acceptance of his identity.

https://www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/teen/dating-sex/Pages/Four-Stages-of-Coming-Out.aspx

https://pflag.org/needsupport

https://www.advocate.com/parenting/2014/09/09/10-tips-parents-gay-kids

This Is a Book for Parents of Gay Kids: A Question & Answer Guide to Everyday Life https://www.amazon.com/dp/1452127530/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_i0tEDbSR8Y32A

Just to piggyback on this, there's a great book you can use as a resource (/u/confusedfather123) called "This is a Book for Parents of Gay Kids" (if you don't feel comfortable ordering the book in hard copy you can also download the ebook). It has a lot of resources for you.

The reason I bring it up in reply to this comment is that there's a great anecdote in there about one of the author's parents asking if she was interested in dating any girls and her practically melting into the floor! Lol... only ask your son about anyone he's interested in if you would have done it anyway, NOT just to try and seem more accepting/interested. Forced relationships are weird.

(Link to book: http://www.amazon.com/This-Book-Parents-Gay-Kids/dp/1452127530)

First off I want to tell you you're an awesome dad. My heart goes out to your daughter. If you think it'll help tell her that a bunch of internet strangers are sending her virtual hugs :)

A quick search for local LGBT resources turned up Stonewall and the LGBT Foundation. TrevorSpace is a private forum run by the Trevor Project, a nonprofit aimed at reducing LGBT teen suicide rates. 7 Cups of Tea is an online therapy site. Hopefully someone in the UK can offer something more specific.

If your daughter has access to a therapist or counselor who is LGBT-positive, encourage her to talk with a professional. Therapy can help develop confidence and coping skills in a hostile environment, and having more support is always a good thing. I struggled with anxiety and insecurity myself (though unrelated to coming out), and it helped me a lot. Do you know if her school has any LGBT resources? Can you talk with teachers or administrators about how she's being bullied? I know that having parents and/or teachers intervening is basically the uncoolest thing ever but anything has to be better than what she's going through. That said, (obviously) talk to her first about what she thinks might help in some way.

See what you can do to minimize exposure to homophobia outside of school. Maybe point her towards some teen-appropriate gay movies and books so that she has some positive examples of lesbian relationships. There are a lot of lesbian couples on youtube who do vlogs - there should be people on this sub who can recommend some channels if you're interested. This book is supposed to be a good resource for parents as well. Best of luck to you and your daughter.

https://www.amazon.com/This-Book-Parents-Gay-Kids/dp/1452127530

Check out The Parents Project and This Is A Book For Parents Of Gay Kids. Like you mentioned, she might or might not be gay or bisexual, but regardless of what her sexual orientation is, these are great resources that will help you show your support to her. She is lucky to have a dad who loves her the way you do!

“This is a Book for Parents of Gay Kids” by Danielle Owens-Reid and Kristin Russo is an awesome resource! It is aimed at the parent’s of queer adolescents (I gifted it to my very accepting mom after I came out at 20 and it was still a great resource to help her organize her thoughts and formulate further questions that prompted thoughtful discussions for us!) and provides really great insight into what present and future issues your child may encounter. Also provides first-hand accounts from queer youth and their parent to provide additional perspectives that you may relate to. An overall wonderful resource from 2 queer-identifying authors.

https://www.amazon.com/This-Book-Parents-Gay-Kids/dp/1452127530

Best wishes to you and your awesome kiddo!

There is a really good book full of resources here: https://www.amazon.com/This-Book-Parents-Gay-Kids/dp/1452127530

They use the term 'gay' in the title, but it's a catch-all term. They have a whole section on trans issues. I got it for my parents and it's a great help!