Reddit reviews Victims No Longer: The Classic Guide for Men Recovering from Sexual Child Abuse

I have a long, sad, history of incest and sexual abuse that I've written a bit about here: https://www.reddit.com/r/DeadBedrooms/comments/7kmaeg/question_for_hls_about_negative_sexual_experiences/drfm5a0/


I had a more uninhibited response to my abuse, which is just as normal and common, as an inhibited response.

Therapy was a tremendous help to me. I can't encourage you enough to stick with it, even when it gets very difficult.

Mike Lew's classic, Victims No Longer: The Classic Guide for Men Recovering from Sexual Child Abuse was an incredible resource for me, as well.

Feel free to PM me anytime. I wish you the best in your healing.

I'm sorry to hear about what happened to you. i went through something like that and as a male it sucks, there are few resources on the subject but if you need help this book helped me a lot. what happened affects you in ways you may not realize yet, good luck on the recovery

Similar. Someone said being abused doesn't make us trans, but being trans might make us vulnerable to abuse.

I see my abuse and the reactions stemming from it as having caused me to repress my sexual orientation and identity. I see my attempts to relive my abuse with others as my past outlet for those parts of me.

I've used victims no longer for some self led healing, though I've also worked with a therapist. I would recommend working with a trauma specialist.

Then you don't understand sexual abuse. Because it's not about sex.

Try reading these:

https://www.amazon.com/Allies-Healing-Person-Sexually-Abused/dp/0060968834/ref=pd_sim_14_2/139-5807525-0898809?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_i=0060968834&pd_rd_r=4ed473f4-3886-11e9-bebf-15ead0be056d&pd_rd_w=rVP00&pd_rd_wg=M8qjl&pf_rd_p=90485860-83e9-4fd9-b838-b28a9b7fda30&pf_rd_r=R2E3M0FJZDWF3Q2D88D5&psc=1&refRID=R2E3M0FJZDWF3Q2D88D5
https://www.amazon.com/Victims-No-Longer-Classic-Recovering/dp/006053026X

https://www.amazon.com/Leaping-Upon-Mountains-Proclaiming-Victory/dp/155643345X

https://www.amazon.com/Courage-Heal-Survivors-Sexual-Anniversary/dp/0061284335

https://www.amazon.com/Sexual-Healing-Journey-Guide-Survivors/dp/0062130730/ref=pd_lpo_sbs_14_t_1?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=YN4YXWX6258K7EBPPMX4

http://www.amazon.com/Victims-No-Longer-Classic-Recovering/dp/006053026X this is probably the best

http://www.amazon.com/Joining-Forces-Empowering-Survivors-Thrive/dp/1401941346/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1451773459&sr=1-1&keywords=joining+forces+empowering+male+survivors+to+thrive

This is another pretty good book

And you could try googling "rape resorce center" or "crisis center" and hopefully find some resources that way as well.

www.1in6.org also has some info that may help

Yep shame is the poison that isn't talked about. Depression and anxity get all the lime light but shame kills and wreckes lives just as much or even more.

Sexual surragacy is illegal here. Sex work and therapy are legal but not togther. It got to the stage that paying was the only option left, I was thinking about it for 10 years before it happened and it took my therapist encouraging me to get there, it was rough. Luckly the escort I chose is really good and she's had lots of other beginners so it went really well. I can only afford it like twice a year.

The pressure of knowing how sex, dating, flirtling works after we get past our early 20's is immense. It's super hard to deal with and I've also found it super hard to find help with. I ended up talking to a therapist that specializes in sexual abuse, she also said she doesn't work with many men. She's really good but also expensive, for me anyway mostly due to currency exchange rate. The videos are mostly geared towards women but it all applys to men as well.

The trap I'm trying not to fall into now is thinking that the only way for me to get affection is to pay for it. Wishing you all the very best, it's heart wrenching I know. I cannot find words for how hard it is really.

I highly recomend his book if you haven't read it