Reddit reviews When Survivors Give Birth: Understanding and Healing the Effects of Early Sexual Abuse on Childbearing Women

Having a history of rape may complicate your delivery somewhat. Not in terms of your physical health, but the mental and emotional aspects of it. Being vulnerable, on your back with people touching your genitals and giving you directives and causing pain is likely going to be triggering. I definitely think it is possible for you to go through a delivery and have the professionals around you keep this information to themselves.
However, having everyone in the room full of patience and understanding might be the greater good than keeping the secret from your SO.
I was raped repeatedly for years and only got around to telling my husband 7 years into our relationship. You sound kind of like me in that you are a matter of fact, down to business kind of gal. I didn’t want my husband to look at me differently or to try to comfort me. I processed these experiences over a decade ago and I wasn’t interested in processing them again, but he needed to know due to some clusterfuckery that I wont get into here. My providers will need to know for when I deliver because there are certain positions that trigger flashbacks for me and I don’t want to be put into them unless it is an emergency. When I told my husband, I prefaced it with, “I’m going to talk for a while and I need you to listen without interrupting. What I am about to say, I have already dealt with. I don’t want to go into details. I don’t need a hug. I don’t need a shoulder to cry on, but you need to know. Please ask me follow up questions if you need clarity. I have the number to a counselor if you would like to talk t out with someone, because as much as I love you, I can’t talk you though this.” I then gave him a cliffs notes version of the Who what when where. He asked some clarification questions and we moved on.
There is no law that says you need to tell him, but it might be easier than you think. Also, this book might be up your alley. I haven’t read t yet, but I plan to. The author is basically the mother of all doulas and has birth and everything that goes with it expertly explained in her other books.

When Survivors Give Birth: Understanding and Healing the Effects of Early Sexual Abuse on Childbearing Women https://www.amazon.com/dp/1594040222/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_us5CAbJTDFFBH

To others suffering PTSD or have a history of sexual assault, I highly recommend [When Survivors Give Birth] (https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/1594040222/ref=cm_cr_arp_mb_bdcrb_top?ie=UTF8) .

Im very sorry so many of your checkups were triggering. It is easy to feel vulnerable, exposed, alone, and helpless in these circumstances. We are often caught between what we feel is best for baby and what to do best for ourselves: you will find this middle ground, mom.

I am SO GLAD you found an option that worked for you, in this case csection. You absolutely empowered yourself by doing what you needed to do to be in the correct headspace as a new parent. Congratulations on your new addition!

This website has some helpful resources that could be passed on to clients and/or medical staff. This article is directed toward midwives, but I would think many of the suggestions would be applicable in a hospital setting as well. Finally, this book is recommended on a lot of different sites, so maybe you could make sure there's a copy on hand available for medical staff.

https://www.amazon.com/When-Survivors-Give-Birth-Understanding/dp/1594040222