Reddit Reddit reviews Wild at Heart Revised and Updated: Discovering the Secret of a Man's Soul

We found 17 Reddit comments about Wild at Heart Revised and Updated: Discovering the Secret of a Man's Soul. Here are the top ones, ranked by their Reddit score.

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Wild at Heart Revised and Updated: Discovering the Secret of a Man's Soul
Wild at Heart Discovering the Secret of a Man s Soul
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17 Reddit comments about Wild at Heart Revised and Updated: Discovering the Secret of a Man's Soul:

u/LaTuFu · 473 pointsr/AskMen

Here are a few books I would highly recommend for men (and women as well):

  • Wild at Heart by John Etheredge. For Men. The companion book for Women is Captivating. These are Christian books, discussing God's design for men and women. Even if you are not a Christian and have no desire to be, I think you may find some of the discussion very revealing or at the very least intriguing. These are not so much good "learn to communicate" books, as they are "understanding who I really am on a basic level" books.

  • Love and Respect by Emerson Eggerichs. Another Christian Book, this one on the biblical view of marriage. Again, if you're not a Christian, I still recommend it as a resource for marriage. There are some fundamental principles of marriage that transcend religion that can benefit both spouses. For men and women.

  • Codependent No More by Melanie Beattie. This book is required reading if you or your partner grew up in a household with an addict (parent or sibling), an abusive parent, or single parent/divorced home with high conflict. It is not faith based, for men and women.

  • The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman. This is a great book that breaks down how we're all different, and we get our needs in a relationship satisfied in different ways. Understanding what your partner needs is fundamental to having a healthy relationship.

  • The Seven Principles For Making Marriage Work by John Gottman. This is another great resource for understanding effective communication within an intimate relationship, whether you are male or female.

    After that, if you have more specific issues in your story, like childhood trauma, there are more specific routes to go down. I also strongly encourage enlisting the aid of a counselor, therapist, and/or pastoral counselor if you or your partner are struggling with childhood baggage.

u/33saywhat33 · 5 pointsr/AskMenOver30

I'll add one myself. Wild at Heart is a man's man book. It really helped me get motivated for life. Amazon has over 2,000 reviews at gives it 4.5 stars. He hits issues head on. I won't kid you this book jolted me. It's sold millions of copies for a reason.

It's OK to be a fuckin' man!!

It does have a Christian author but any man can get a lot out of this book. At the end of each chapter he lists some some versus that support his points. No biggie.

Consider audiobook if you commute.

u/muchADEW · 4 pointsr/motorcycles

I mentioned this in one of the other six posts about this movie, but here goes again:

> I suspect this movie will have a heavy Christian theme. The father of the guys who made this movie is John Eldredge, who wrote, "Wild at Heart," which Amazon describes as a "best-selling, renowned Christian classic ... [that] invites men to recover their masculine heart, defined in the image of a passionate God."

u/Oltima · 3 pointsr/nonmonogamy

You cheated and that can't be taken back. I would suggest you do research in the phsycology behind why you felt the need to cheat. Most couples can satisfy about 80% of their partners needs and wants. You may have felt compelled to cheat because the other woman offered the 20% your wife doesn't and it feels shiny and new. That shiny newness will go away eventually. Chasing the "golden haired woman" is a mistake. You are most likely not in love with this other woman. You probably have a love for the newness and the heightened levels of dopamine your brain gives you for finding a new mate. Again that will go away.

10 years ago you loved your wife enough to commit vows to spend a lifetime together. Think about that. YOU LOVED SOMEONE SO MUCH THAT YOU VOWED TO STAY WITH HER TILL DEATH! That woman is still there. Taking your marriage to a non-monogamous point just so you can continue your affair is very shady and doesn't solve the real problem. It will most likely tear you two apart due to the mistrust, and there is no guarantee that your wife will be open to non-monogamy.

Divorcing your wife would be a mistake as well. First she didn't do anything wrong so you shouldn't want to hurt her. Second your kids deserve better.

This will be an unpopular opinion but NEVER TELL HER YOU CHEATED! Why? Because it will tear her heart out. I've been cheat on before. It hurts... A lot! Don't put her through that, and don't pull the I need to clear my conscious BS either. Breaking her heart so you can feel better is despicable. And don't for one second think leaving your wife for this other woman will somehow be a better option. She has already shown you she is OK with cheating because she knows about your wife. Plus she knows you are a cheater and the whole relationship would be built on mistrust.

You need to leave the other woman and go back to your wife and family. Be the man she deserves and put effort into re-igniting the passion that you had when you married her. If you are feeling the flame dim on the passion and romance you better believe that she does too. Talk to her. Find things you can do to bring that flame back.

Here are some starter suggestions
-Does she like shopping? Take her shopping! Go with her. Yeah its boring to be a man in a Woman's shoe store, but I bet you did it while dating. Its not about spending money its about spending time.

-Is there an activity she wants to do but you don't like IE: hiking or swimming or a road trip. Do it for her. I'm not saying do something you will regret, but something small that she is into and you have declined in the past.
Real life example: My wife wanted to drive 400 miles on a particular freeway because it was a "scenic drive". I hated the idea and she knew it, but she loves that I did it anyway for her. I'm not saying be a pushover and do everything that she wants all the time, but let her have those moments from time to time.

-Do you have a little extra padding? Start exercising and very subtlety let her know its because you want to look as sexy as you can for her. Do not suggest she join your exercising but do invite her if she asks to join. Do not try to be her coach. Let her make any fitness mistakes she wants if she joins your routine. Unless of course she is doing something that will hurt her.

-Sit down and have a long talk about how you feel. Be careful not to verbally attack her. This is where "I" statements help.
"I feel that we could have more passion", "I want to know what I can do to strengthen our relationship", "I feel like we could do more to strengthen our bond", "I want to [any action or result] and want your help/opinion to achieve [said action or result] ect. If you use the word "you" then that talk may turn into a fight. Example of what not to say- "You never do [ ] anymore", "You do [ ] to much", ect. you get the idea.

So much can be achieved when couples just sit down and express what they are feeling inside. What to take a giant leap of faith? Ask her this question " What is it like being married to me"... I know terrifying. Then shut up and listen. Do not argue and do not interrupt. No "yes buts". Internalize what she tells you. Acknowledge what you have done wrong and express a desire to work with her as a team to resolve anything.

-Couples/ Marriage counseling or similar third party interventions. Most couples shy away from this sort of thing but it helps. You don't have to go for long periods of time. Even one session will go a long way towards helping. Here is a book that I think would help. and here is the female side You should read them both. Yes they have Christian ties but even if you are not a Christian the ideas and principles are still very valid. There is also a boot camp that goes with the book and if you can attend/ afford it you and your wife should go. Here is the link. . I promise you the bootcamp it not a touchy feely lets hug and have a talk about our feelings event. It is a "this is how to be an awesome man" fun filled weekend. Campfires, cigars, gormet meals, archery, guns, and outdoor man movies to go with what they teach. Whatever you choose to do don't be embarrassed to seek guidance from a professional.

-When you two have sex do you make love passionately? or are you just masturbating inside her? Don't use her for sex... Give her what only you as a loving husband can give to her. Massage her body, caress her legs, smack that ass, run scratch marks down her back, whisper sexy dirty things in her ear, dust off your tongue and give without receiving. I don't know what she likes but you do. If for some reason you don't then ask her to guide you. Make her feel like a sex god. I challenge you to only penetrate when she is so turned on that she won't take no for an answer.

-Kids taking all your time? Get a sitter or send them to summer camp or a similar event that gets them away from you for several days. Your kids are important but so is your wife. A loving healthy relationship with her is great for your kids to see. Don't put your kids before your wife! She should hold more importance. Set a weekly time that you spend with only your wife. No kids allowed. It can be as simple as one night a week that the kids can't be in the living room while you two enjoy the TV (or other activities) just the 2 of you. And be firm if they try to butt in or suddenly start doing things to get your attention. Same goes for pets. Get them away.

There is a ton of other things but these are the basics and the overall idea is to spend more time with your wife. If you are having trouble finding that wonderful person you fell in love with then you better search harder. If you can't find gold with a shovel then you better get a bulldozer.

I promise you any effort you put into your wife and marriage will be reciprocated in full. It probably won't be instant, but she will respond in kind. This is about you too. You are going to feel fantastic knowing you can offer her your strength and power and love as a man.

Last point- Non-monogamy in all its forms is not a bandage that fixes troubled relationships. It is an experience that two loving people choose to do together to enhance what is already a healthy strong relationship. If/When you bring back that flame and you start seeing your wife as the "golden haired" woman then you can try non-monogamy. Do it as a team, together as a loving trusting couple. My wife and I swing. Not because we need things from other people, but because we enjoy sharing the experience.

I hope this does not come across and condemning or condescending. I believe in redemption and I wish you the very best of luck.

TL:DR: Don't take the easy rode. Fight for your wife.

u/[deleted] · 3 pointsr/MensRights

If you're christian, take a look at Wild at Heart by John Eldredge (Amazon lets you preview the first half a dozen pages). He discusses masculinity and what it means to be a man from a biblical standpoint.

u/jack_hammarred · 2 pointsr/FeminineNotFeminist

I'll say my books aren't expressly feminine. They're more about dynamics, relationships, motivations, which have helped to prevent me from going wild with aggressive masculine approaches despite my surroundings and peers. Thank goodness I found these so early :)

I loved Captivating, which is about women from a Christian perspective and it's counterpart called Wild at Heart, which is about men. Neither of them were too overwhelmingly Christian, IMO.

Another book with Christian influences, The Servant is a book about leadership theory that's been very helpful to me stepping into a more nurturing and deferring approach.

Five Dysfunctions of a Team is my very favorite book ever, and it discusses the reasons teams (be it a couple, sports team, friend group, or work group) fail and how to prevent that. Very helpful in learning why vulnerability, an important feminine trait, is so important.

u/Hobo4ssRoq0311 · 2 pointsr/USMC

The book that changed my life and thought processes the most was and is Wild at Heart by John Eldredge.

I don’t want to shoot the “God gun” at you guys, but it’s the best I’ve got. Even if only a portion of what Eldredge is proposing is true or correct, it’s revolutionary in how you process your life and the events in it, and what’s going on in this world.

The other book is Rangers in the Gap: Act with Courage, Never Surrender by Richard Drebert. This is about Dave Eubank (former Ranger and SF officer) and his Free Burma Rangers.

u/Roguta · 2 pointsr/AskMen

Most men have 3 basic wishes, even though they are sometimes secret: to experience an adventure, to undergo a fight and to save a beautiful woman (the girl of his dreams). And of course - that the woman falls madly in love with him :D. So I guess that makes it 4.

You should give this book a read.

Now - there is a lot of stuff in the book connected to a certain view of christianity. Sometimes it was a weird read even for me. And I don't agree with many ideas in there.

But if we are talking about daydreaming, what a man wants in his heart is basically the definition of that.

Edit: I accidentally a word

u/disciplefan95 · 2 pointsr/suggestmeabook

I would recommend two books, Wild at Heart by John Eldridge and Captivating by John and Stasi Eldridge. They are both amazing books which talk about the needs and natures of both the man and the woman in regards to relationship.

I have not found any literature that does a better job of talking about the unique needs and strengths of both the man and the woman. He is a Christian author, though, and his faith informs his writing to a great degree, so it would depend on you tolerance for religious writing. Still, I would encourage you to read both together.

Wild at Heart:


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Title|Learning to Live Wild at Heart...
Description|This is a story about a book that I have read and how it has changed my philosophy on life. I love learning but I am learning that learning isn't enough as funny as that sounds. I am now in the process of learning to live an adventurous, enjoyable, fulfilling life. I am not Pursuit an Empty life...and if I only have head knowledge and never acknowledge my heart...that is exactly the life I will end up living. From now on I am following my heart and Pursuing a life worth relieving. ⤶⤶This video was inspired by the verses 1 Peter 1:18-19 and John 10:10,⤶as well as the book Wild at Heart by John Eldredge.⤶⤶You can check out the book here:⤶⤶⤶John Eldredge is my favorite author and any of his books are worth reading.⤶⤶*** Subscribe to hear more about my journey pursuing a full and adventurous life and how you can do the same. If you like the video, hit the like button, subscribe and share!⤶⤶All in love.⤶⤶You can connect with me here:⤶-Insta:⤶-Twitter:

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Name|Ben Hershey

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u/Living2713 · 1 pointr/booksuggestions

If you're a guy I'd recommend Wild at Heart by John Eldredge. Disclaimer: this book is written from a Christian perspective. However, I think Eldredge's main points and the aspects of the book that motive me transcend any kind of faith.

Eldredge's wife wrote a similar book for women (I think it's called Captivating), but I've never read it and know nothing about it.

u/Borsao66 · 1 pointr/RPChristians

Ignoring some of the how women work commentary he makes, I highly recommend Wild At Heart by John Eldridge.

u/on-a-journey · 1 pointr/NoFapChristians

So I'm going to be honest and straightforward with you because I think you can handle it and you sound exactly like me.
Ever since I saw my first video online I was instantly drawn to pornography. I realized quickly though that what I found interesting in my porn was not the same that most of my friends enjoyed. I came to the realization that many of my friends used porn as a pure sexual release and for them they didn't mind the fake and overproduced videos. The women on screen were merely a collection of body parts.

However, when I looked for porn I invariably enjoyed the types that at least attempted to portray that they were enjoying it. That it wasn't some bang fest but that it was two people that genuinely wanted to be filming together. However, even this started to feel lackluster and I didn't enjoy it. Through out this time though, these videos failed to capture my attention for more than a couple minutes at a time.

However, I found that when I got the chance I loved sitting and watching cam girls. These girls that are fully clothed and just talk and do normal things like play online games and chat the users in their forums. I found this enchanting. I began to realize I didn't like porn because it met a sexual need but I enjoyed porn because it met an emotional need.

The reason I liked cam girls and things that had a more intimate feeling was because it felt like they were really my girlfriend. It felt like they trusted me and wanted me to experience life with them. It was a way for me to feel like I wasn't alone.

This is just a dangerous of a decision as watching porn (if not more) because you are emotionally crippling yourself to be involved with a woman that does actually love you and does actually want to share intimately with you. You are hurting your future wife and future marriage.

Moving forward.

>Many of the motivations for quitting pornography don't even come close to applying to me. I can't count the number of posts I've read on /r/NoFap, and sometimes here, telling us we shouldn't watch P because it's an inaccurate representation of sexual relations, because of the horrible conditions the actresses operate under, because...

>I don't care. I didn't watch that stuff. Chalk it up to very specific tastes, if you like, but that had nothing to do with the crap that I viewed.

Newsflash! You have wrongly convinced yourself of this and have been lying to yourself for a long time. These are excuses to disregard bad behavior. I convinced myself of this too. There is not financial slavery or physical slavery happening here but that is far from something being enslaving. You and I are still taking advantage of these women! Don't delude yourself. You are stealing something from them that you have no right to. You don't get to chalk it up to being voluntary. These are human women who are hurting. (All people are wounded and are hurting. Some more than others.) They have a burning desire for validation as beautiful women just as you have a burning desire for validation as man. They are turning to the internet to provide them with some sort of happiness but the truth is those comment sections will ultimately only hurt them more than help them. They are as emotionally dependent of fleeting words of affirmation as you are on their false validation of your masculinity.

The problem I see in your rationale is that you have decided that since your sin doesn't stink as bad as the next guy that you're for some reason ok. I believed this for a long time. The fact is sin is sin. Even if that girl was as emotionally stable as could be, you are still damaging yourself, damaging your wife, and damaging your relationship with God. You are turning to that girl to prove that you are a man. You are taking to her a wound that only God can heal. All she is going to do is scratch at it and keep it festering. It will grow worse and worse until you can no longer tell where the wound starts and you start.


Only can Christ's act of Grace on the cross ever heal our wound. No matter how much money we have, how big our house is, or how many wives we have it will all fall short in trying to fulfill our sense of validation. Ecclesiastes 1:2 pretty much sums it up perfect. "Meaningless! Meaningless!" says the Teacher. "Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless." That is pretty much the truth. Anything you find on this earth will never compare to the true love and validation you will find in the Lord.
Read below if nothing else.

My advice to you is to first truly dwell on your own wound as a man. A great book to read is Wild at Heart which discusses what a man's heart truly longs for. That is what you are describing here. You aren't longing for sex you're longing for validation. Figure out what it means to be a godly man! Read about Paul's life, read about Moses, read about David or Solomon. There are some incredible men in the Bible. None of them get it right all the time. Most of them screw up in huge ways but the life changing point is that these men do not turn to the world for their validation, they turn to God. When you finally find your masculinity through the Lord then an amazing woman will come your way, who knows she may be hiding right under your nose.

Prayers, lean on the Lord!

u/Jaicobb · 1 pointr/AskMen

If you want to understand your Dad read this book.

u/alpinejaguar · 1 pointr/TrueChristian


John Eldredge would be a good read for author IMO. It was for me.

u/miminothing · 1 pointr/Christianity

Wild at heart and Captivating are about the masculine and feminine roles respectively. They are written by a couple, John and Staci Eldredge. So if you're a guy I'd suggest Wild at Heart but read both of them if you can.

These books have a lot of valuable insights into gender roles, sex, lust, marriage, the growing role of porn, etc. I'd check them out.

u/fatnormie · 1 pointr/daddit

So I'm almost done with this book. I don't know where you are as far as spirituality but from what I've read that doesn't matter. Anyone can get useful information out of this book. Talks about what it means to be a man. That's what you are trying to raise is a good man. So 1st you need to know what a good man is. Check it out. I think it will have some answers for you. Parenting is about choices. You don't want to be a pushover but there is a way to be firm and not snap at your kids. He's a 7 year old kid, he's gonna do dumb shit but remember, he's 7. Good luck.