Reddit reviews Women on the Verge: Japanese Women, Western Dreams (Asia-Pacific: Culture, Politics, and Society)
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/unjerk
https://www.amazon.com/Women-Verge-Japanese-Asia-Pacific-Politics/dp/082232816X/ref=cm_cr_arp_d_product_top?ie=UTF8
Here is a study on a collection of anecdotes/surveys given by Japanese women who are into westerners, basically they viewed those men as a liberation from oppressive corporate and family structures. I only have the chance to read reviews from other scholars, and it's like what you said, some find certain aspects of life at home to be better.
Heh. Probably get downboated for this, but a friend of mine in Japan told me once, "Just by virtue of being a gaijin in Japan that speaks Japanese, you'll be able to qualify for a higher quality of girl than you could get back in the 'states." I still think it's pretty much true due to the tendency of Japanese women romanticize the West.
Women on the Verge: Japanese Women, Western Dreams by Karen Kelsky, Duke Univ. Press
I wish I had read this years ago