Reddit Reddit reviews Women with Attention Deficit Disorder 2nd (second) edition Text Only

We found 17 Reddit comments about Women with Attention Deficit Disorder 2nd (second) edition Text Only. Here are the top ones, ranked by their Reddit score.

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Women with Attention Deficit Disorder 2nd (second) edition Text Only
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17 Reddit comments about Women with Attention Deficit Disorder 2nd (second) edition Text Only:

u/Lappy313 · 17 pointsr/Documentaries

That's so understandable that it makes you angry. There's a really good edit about females with ADD(H), I think this is it:

Although my copy has a different cover.

u/alittleperil · 9 pointsr/girlsgonewired

I got diagnosed halfway through grad school. It was brutal. My wife kept leaning on me to go get tested for it, and at one point went through our table asking when I had started each project that was out. There were more than a dozen projects under active work on the table, all mine. You can go back to first grade, when I had to change schools because I had taken to standing on my chair and shouting out the answers if class was moving too slowly. In the end, I only got tested just as they were about to kick me out of my program for lack of progression.

Generally tasks have to have a sense of urgency and importance for me to actually make progress on them when they need to be done, and there has to be the feeling that someone is checking up on me

To that end, for a lot of things I schedule regular meetings with the person who asked me to do whatever task it is I need to get done, and then the day before I meet up with them I scramble around like a crazy thing getting about a week's worth of work done in a day and a half, then meet with them, which goes well, rinse and repeat.

If I'm only responsible to myself for getting something done, I can and will absolutely abandon it half-completed in favor of the next interesting task that comes along. So I work on projects in places where I know someone walking by could potentially see my progress and judge my lack of focus, I try to minimize interesting projects nearby, and I got myself some pretty hourglasses for 30- and 5-minute intervals, if I realize I'm off track I set the 5, then I wrap it up. This post is a case in point :)

I'm also helped a lot by listening to music a lot when I'm working on complicated stuff, audiobooks when I'm working on simple things. There seems to be a minimum amount of my attention that's occupied at all times, otherwise it starts turning to everything around me, and I can get distracted by absolutely anything and everything. In the evenings, either my wife and I talk or we put something on the tv and I work on crafting projects, because otherwise I get bored.

I am on meds, and in fact we just switched one of my meds this morning. I was very reassured just by how calm everything was my first week on meds, my wife had briefly been misdiagnosed as adhd and put on stimulants and they did NOT have the same effect for her. There's a part of our brains needed for executive function that's under-functioning, and the stimulants make that part more active. Caffeine has always had a calming effect for me, and I drink a lot of it.

You might want to read something like Solden's Women with attention deficit disorder

It's also worth knowing there are a bunch of things comorbid with adhd. I also have depression and some mild OCD tendencies (I pick at my skin, pull out my hair, and chew on my fingernails, all to the point of damage) and my therapist has helped me manage those a lot. On the plus side, a lot of my depression was lifted by getting help for the adhd, and the same might prove true for you.

I can write more later, gotta get back to data analysis, good luck!

u/chasingliacrazy · 5 pointsr/TwoXADHD

This book helped me tremendously : Women with Attention Deficit Disorder: Embrace Your Differences and Transform Your Life

u/futurecrazycatlady · 5 pointsr/AskWomen

I got diagnosed at 34, also after reading about ADHD in women on my own first. Before then I always thought it was depression/anxiety (which was real at the time, but looking back probably caused by the ADHD).

Getting diagnosed was relatively easy (am in the Netherlands though). I went to my GP, he referred me to a clinic that specialises in ADHD, they did a 20 minute intake by phone first and after that a 3 hour assessment with me, my parents and a friend. (There was some waiting involved, so it took about 3 or 4 months).

For managing the symptoms, I always tried to just 'be better' so I did have some coping in place already but medication helps me so much. I thought they'd give me more energy so I'd be able to power through all those boring chores I suck at, but when I take them the chores themselves seem less complicated/horrid, so I don't need to motivate myself for a few hours first before I start.

Don't get me wrong, I still need to decide to get up and do things, I can easily take my meds and spent the whole day playing with the Sims if I chose to, but when I decide to be productive they make all days feel like my former 'really good days'.

If you want to read more, Sari Solden has written a great book aimed at women with inattentive ADHD and she talks about dealing with an adult diagnoses and the problems you might have now because you didn't spot it sooner.

Also, /r/ADHD is a really nice supportive place and there's a good balance between commiserating and people sharing the things that work for them to make things better.

u/muzzlepuffs · 4 pointsr/TrollXChromosomes

Two things really helped me convince myself to get a real diagnosis: this book on women and ADHD by Sari Solden and How To ADHD on YouTube, particularly the video on getting diagnosed as an adult.

I highlighted and wrote up a bunch of notes on the book which became really helpful when I finally did talk to the doctor. I related a lot to the descriptions of the girl with inattentive ADHD, and it helped me remember a lot of the things I struggled with as a kid. And framed in terms of ADHD, they made a lot more sense.

u/totallynotcaitlin · 4 pointsr/ADHD

Your friend is me. It doesn’t sound like she’s rejecting you - it’s all characteristic of her ADHD, but her behavior is still affecting you and your feelings are valid. Often we don’t realize how we are making others feel and yours are common complaints from someone with a relationship with an ADHD brain. I’ve had the same core group of friends forever, who also fluctuate in attentiveness to friendships, so we all kind of just have an understanding that it’s not personal when someone’s off the map for a while. That rollercoaster is our life.

I don’t have advice so much as support and empathy for your situation. Do you know if she’s being treated (meds, therapy etc.?)

If you want to learn more about her inner workings, read Women with ADHD by Sari Solden.

u/BeastOGevaudan · 4 pointsr/Fibromyalgia

I'm currently dealing with long-distance support of my mother, who ALSO has fibromyalgia, and now a dementia diagnosis. It was suggested long ago by a therapist (but not confirmed by any testing) that I likely had ADHD, but that I'd developed some fairly good coping. I didn't continue seeing that therapist for very long (yay for losing insurance at the time!) so it wasn't something I pursued very far, since I felt like i was mostly coping.

How much help are you getting with your grandfather? If you aren't getting any help right now, can you GET any help? Depending on what his needs are, if you are in the US, Medicare will pay for CERTAIN types of SKILLED in-home healthcare. They won't cover just someone to do light cleaning, meals, etc.., but there are programs that can do specific things if he has diabetes, or dementia, or other issues. I'm just now learning about this now, myself after getting referred to Encompass Health Even if he isn't qualified for something that Medicare would pay for, and you just need some non-skilled (I dislike the term, but it means non-medical, basically - they can't do things like help handle pills, etc..) home health care with bathing, or even light housekeeping and meal prep for your grandpa, you may be able to deduct some expenses on his taxes.

I find that making lists help. Make a list of what you NEED to do and what you WANT to do in a day. Now prioritize it. Go ahead and assume that you aren't possibly going to do all of it. Make sure to do some of the stuff you NEED to do and at least one thing you WANT to do each day. Given all we've got going on, that can be as simple as making time for yourself to take a relaxing bath with some epsom salts, which can help some of the muscle aches.

Sometimes it helps to make the above list for a week at a time instead of a day at a time. Spread the tasks you need to accomplish out for the whole week. Grocery shopping on Monday, Laundry on Wednesday. Put something lighter in on Tuesdays and Thursdays so that even if you're doing something you need to do, it's now something less draining.

If you can afford help for certain things, pay for someone else to do it! House cleaning leave you drained? Having someone in twice a month to do the "deep cleaning" (like really scrubbing the tubs and showers and mopping the floors) can really make keeping up with the rest of the house on the other weeks so much easier. If you can't afford help, following a program like FlyLady can help break things down into smaller chunks, as well as helping you stay organized and on task.

Is cooking a task you just don't have time for? Consider high quality frozen meals. My town has a small, local company that prepares their own brand of frozen meals. It's more expensive than cooking for myself, but on the days I'm utterly wiped out it's cheaper and healthier than ordering take out, and it definitely tastes better and is healthier than your typical grocery store frozen meal. Also consider prepared foods from your local grocery store.

Edited to add two things:

If you aren't sleeping, please see a doctor and let them know. No one really wants more pharmaceuticals in their life, I know, but my mom's recent diagnosis and all that goes with it, really pushed me over the edge in anxiety and not sleeping. I was given a low dose of trazadone which can help with depression, anxiety, sleep and pain. I've been sleeping SO MUCH BETTER, and just sleep alone is enough to help with my pain.

Secondly, if you haven't read it, I found the book "Women with Attention Deficit Disorder" by Sari Solden very helpful.

u/couverte · 3 pointsr/ADHD

Doing well in school/being intelligent doesn’t mean you can’t have ADHD. There are plenty of people out there who are all manners of professionals and who were diagnosed in adulthood. In itself, intelligence compensates for the ADHD symptoms. School also provides the external structure ADHDers lack.

It’s actually common for people who are intelligent/labelled “gifted” to start having trouble once they hit the job market and live on their own. All at once, the structure you relied on is gone and you have to start adulting.

You’ve mentioned being organized (maybe too much) and relying heavily on lists. That is a clear ADHD coping mechanism. You don’t say it in your post, but my guess is that you’re a woman. I could go on an on and on about ADHD in women and how it presents. The symptoms are the same for women and men, but they do tend to present differently, in part because we’re socialized differently. I highly recommend reading Women with attention deficit disorder by Sari Solden, you might find that what she describes resonates with you more.

You might also want to have a look at r/ADHDwomen

u/neutralmustachehotel · 3 pointsr/ADHD


This is a good primer on women with ADHD:

And this book by Sari Solden is really helpful because it very clearly lays out how ADHD is different for women (overlook the terrrrrrible cover):

u/AllYuAdoreIAbhor · 2 pointsr/TwoXADHD

Very highly recommend: Women with Attention Deficit Disorder: Embrace Your Differences and Transform Your Life

Lots of great stuff is covered here that they don't talk about in most other ADHD books. Reeaally helped me understand the more emotional, shame, and home life problems that come with being a lady ADHDer


u/WillfulMcPaws · 2 pointsr/adhdwomen

"Women with Add" by Sari Solden is one I always recommend. This one helps you identify some of those sneaky symptoms, especially found in women and girls.

Women with ADD

Additude Magazine is also a good resource for everything from medication management to supplements or new treatments.

Additude Magazine

The CHADD website is extremely helpful but I've only just started to dig into it myself:


And as far as organizing goes, I absolutely love this book, "ADD friendly ways to organize your life," by Judith Kolberg and Kathleen Nadeau

ADD Friendly Organization

On the topic of meds, that's actually highly subjective. What I did was look at what I needed and when. As in when do I need my medication the most? I also read up on what other people did for themselves. Some of these resources should allow you to eventually decide how you want to approach it.

Personally I take Ritalin XR, the extended release, because the short acting Ritalin is not as effective for me not to mention it made my handwriting a billion times worse. I take it in the morning, after breakfast and never on an empty stomach because for me it leaves my system a lot faster when I do that. I also do not take orange juice or any other acidic juice with breakfast because it will cause my Ritalin to release super fast - found that out the wrong way.

u/triplereybun · 2 pointsr/ADHD

Has anyone on here read this one?

It's on my wishlist... Just curious :)

u/KitsuneA · 1 pointr/ADHD

Have you worked with a doctor or therapist on treatment/coping?

I don't know your gender, background, work, location etc, but I have found a lot of great information in books/article.

This is a great book for anyone which helps with organization. Being better organized in general might help raise your threshold when dealing with social situations if you haven't used up you 'stimulus bank' on a chaotic environment.

This is a great book for women with ADHD. It's changing my life.

One of the most important things I'm learning is how a lifetime of not living up to expectations (of myself, society, family etc) has led me to develop a lot of intense feelings of guilt and shame. I am working on reversing that and forgiving myself when I do make mistake or reach the point of overs-stimulation.

Finally, with work, again depending on your location, you may be able to request reasonable accommodation. The caveat here is that you'll need a medical diagnosis.

u/Jamplesauce · 1 pointr/medical_advice

It could also be a symptom of predominantly-inattention-type ADHD. ADHD manifests very differently in girls and women than the common stereotype of the disruptive boy who bounces off the walls and gets into trouble at school, so women and girls often go undiagnosed. Take a look at some of the reviews, excerpts and comments on Amazon about this book: "Women with Attention Deficit Disorder" by Sari Solden If you can identify with some of the symptoms discussed, buy the book or check it out from a library. Then ask your doctor for an ADHD evaluation (and a hearing test, while you're at it!).

u/fancytrashpanda_ · 1 pointr/ADHD

Yes and a million times yes. A great book for women with ADHD is by Sari Solden.

It has the most straightforward title and a weirdly 80s cover that makes it look like a sociology textbook, but it's super-relatable and very conversational. I read it in like two days (hyperfocused!). It talks about everything you mentioned but also has more research, plus stuff about relationships -- like why women with ADHD often go for partners who seem broken in some way, which can be dangerous.

someone who forgot to put on deodorant AND who forgot to eat lunch so is now eating a weird conglomeration of snack foods

u/ADHDLucky · 1 pointr/ADHD

> What was it like to go your whole childhood not knowing you thought differently than some people only to find out in your 20s or 30s that you did?

Well, I didnt know that I was different. Looking back - I absolutely was. I just thought 'this is life' and thought everyone was like that.

I was lucky that my parents (who, especially my mum, have the opposite of ADHD) set a strict structure. On Saturday we could tell what we would eat the rest of the week. Dinner always on the same time (on the minute almost). There was much freedom next to that, but they gave me the basic organisation and structure, because they are like that themselves.

Next to that, my high school was very structured as well. I had continious days that we spend in a space to do homework etc (hard to explain in a few sentences - it was a good system).

I was chaotic, but was lucky enough to grow up in a very organized environment. I could kinda laugh about my chaoticness. That was me! And I got legitimately good grades so zero issues here either.

I didnt realise how much I take structure from people. Walking around by myself I am stressed out - with someone else I am perfectly fine. I am quite inactive - but I will join others.

I was also lucky here that ADHD doesnt hinder me socially. I can have completely normal conversations. I dont interrupt, I am not tactless, I rarely ever have arguments (and the one time I had one people still remember hahah). I do speak fast, but articulate clearly. I only have trouble staying in touch with people, but having groups of people helps here.

So I thought: I enjoy being around people!

And I do! But I never ever realized how much I needed them, to tag along. To follow their schedules and structures and organization. To have the constant social pressure to do things. How much I relied upon them for my self worth, in a truly unhealthy manner.

My struggle is that I am/was very 'hypoactive' - much trouble making from a thought an action when there is no instant reward. Procatination, inability to start things! Why brushing teeth? Cleaning room? Why start an essay now? No instant reward - so I dont do it (I obv rationally know the answer ;). People watching indirectly gave a 'reward' - meeting their expectations (everyone opens their book to study - me too!) / no one critiquing me (you should brush your teeth!) (I cant handle critique). And I am impulsive - yet not risktaking - for things with instant rewards. Hyper, but internalized. As a kid, I would put on and of my shoes with my feet constantly at school - bothered no one. I make 'micromovements' - small movements of my fingers, toes, muscles in legs and stomach. This way I create 'patterns' both with and without the outside world. (it doesnt make sense at all haha) Inattentive - I always miss exits etc. I cant set structure for myself - therefore I tagged along with people as well (pure need here, nothing to do with 'rewards'). If I dont know exactly what to do, I have no overview, I cannot create it, feel lost and do nothing. Trouble starting everything, untill the deadline is there. If someone tells me: do A, B, C about topic X, I will do it. Even if I find it and, legitimately is, boring. If it is: do something with X, I am lost, lost. And end up doing nothing.

How more freedom I get, the more I struggle.

(I think I would have done well in a commune orso! Everything together always!)

So, yeah, at Uni I got much more freedom and it went wrong. Loads of stress to get through it - but viewed it as normal. Everyone was stressed! Looking back, really could not get out of it what I wanted. Could not pinpoint the cause. But I did start to realise something 'was wrong' with me. But I never looked into it. Cause what should I look into exactly? I didnt know, and no reward, so I did nothing. Final thesis I couldnt struggle through it anymore.

I didnt realise how much I relied on people to A) set structure and B) 'reward' me (and unrelated to ADHD: C) for my self esteem). I didnt understand why I couldnt do it - what was wrong? I did realise that what was wrong had always been there, it was not new. Just bigger. And I didnt get how I had ever dealt with it. I was paralyzed to ask for help - because A) requires action with B) not just 'no reward', but negativety! Critique! And I couldnt deal with that - at all. I was always busy doing what I thought people wanted, because I needed the reward. I was pretty good at it! But I also never learned to deal with critique. Or how to ask for help. Cause than I had to show what I was always hiding: the chaos I was in. My inactivity when I was alone. My procastination.
(Edit 2: perhaps more fear of rejection ? !)

I felt shame, shame, shame and guilt. It is/was crippling me, severely. In a way more than ADHD itself.

In the end, but it took loonnggggg, I couldnt escape it anymore. I had to come clear. I hated it. And to my surprise (although I should probably rationally have known it!) the people close around me helped me. Supported me. Weren't angry. Were instead worried. (I still have to go to the Uni though.) I am still tearing up typing this. And it made me realize that so many people care so much about me and want to support me.

What made me realize that I have trouble with self-accepting. And actually a too low self esteem, that is too much based on the validation of people. But also so lucky that I have those people!

It also made me question: for who do I do things? What do I like? Who the hell am I? Now typing this out this sounds very desperate hahah and thank god it doesnt feel that severely - I do in general know what I want and like. But I should really learn to take care of myself for me. To activily do/read/make things alone because I like them.

Went to a psychologist, didnt help at all. I didnt know the cause, and she didnt get it out of me.

Had talks with parents, in which I said 'I do everything from chaos. And I was able to just get enough out of it to paint a picture to the outside world. And I have always done that, but I cant anymore'

They came up with ADD, and, well, that was me. Not everything, but a l o t. Especially the concept of the secret life of girls with adhd (mostly the concept though - I dont selfharm/am not addicted/and I am social) The book women with ADD, from Sari Solden, was like my diary. This was me. I cry a lot with each chapter (so I havent finished it yet - maybe things appear that are less me) because it is so confrontational reading my life back - I realised how hard things had been for me, and that apparently wasnt normal. How I had struggled. How I had ploughed through everything. Without ever asking help. How I had shame and guilt internalized to the very max.

I got tested a week ago and I have it. The medicines help, they really do. They give me self-control. I am not perfect in any sense - but they do give me control over myself. I now do things without reward immediately, just, wow. WOW! I had no idea. It activates me and at the same time gives me peace, limits my internalized hyperactiveness and impulsives. The 'rewards' people give, I dont need anymore. I can do things for myself solely, without stress. I can walk around alone! What a life do non ADHD people have ;) It is both a revelation and a liberation.

I still have a long way to go. Sometimes I feel intense sadness/grief. About ADHD, but also about secondary things that it caused/were in me (low self-esteem, shame, guilt, self accepting). And sometimes intense happiness! I have finally identified the problems I have! And I immediately have gotten tools to work on them! I am excited to continue this journey. To get myself on the rails and discovering myself more. I think I will be able to express myself more, for me, in actions. Become more independent. I am seeing a lot to get through still, but I got tools how to do it, there is a solution, the future is now bright.

Edit: didnt realise it was such a long read! And sometime slightly repetitive. But it helped me to write it down :)

Edit 2: I just looked up the top post and wow, that is basically what I was trying to explain! This is the description! and this is the link to the article

u/dicksonme · 1 pointr/ADHD

Your ex-boyfriend sounds like a jerk. He's clearly not ready for a serious relationship, and that has no reflection on who you are as a person. It was probably easy for him to chock it up to your ADD because you're so worried about it. Either way, if he couldn't deal with who you are, then you should be thankful you're not still with him... that would lead to such a miserable life! A good partner will be patient with you and supportive with what you need help with. I've found that the less I try to hide my ADHD, the more confident I feel. If it's an immediate deal breaker for this guy, then good thing you're finding out now! Get out of that!

In general, just be honest. Try not to conceal stuff about you because you're worried they'll go running. They most likely won't, but if they do, then you're not wasting your time on someone who's not worth it.

From personal experience, I'd say try to meet as many dudes from an online dating community that you can. Go on lots of dates! Then you'll get a lot of dating "practice" and gain confidence. Dating a few people at a time allows you to clearly see whether or not this person is good for you, instead of becoming attached because he's the only guy you're seeing. Doing that allowed me to really see which guy I had real chemistry with, which ones seemed a bit forced, and made it really easy for me to stop seeing men who clearly weren't good for me.

I highly suggest reading this book. Seriously. Buy it now on amazon, even if you don't have time to read it yet so you can have it when you do. It goes into great depths about an extensive amount of issues that women with ADD deal with. It's very empowering. It will probably touch on a lot of issues you aren't even aware are associated with your ADD. It talks about both platonic and romantic relationships, and a bunch of other issues that probably are playing a role in your dating life. Right now I'm having a hard time articulating why I think you should read this book, but I genuinely feel like it will help you a lot. In this aspect and others in your life. (Also, it's written for people with ADD, so it's easy to read and everything's divided into chunks).