This is wonderful. I’ve saved it.
For people wanting help with this but more in-depth, I highly recommend this book:
https://www.amazon.com/Anxiety-Phobia-Workbook-Edmund-Bourne/dp/1626252157

It’s the next best thing to a course.

You sound like me. I grew up similarly abused and also have anxiety and self esteem issues.
He's being insensitive for sure (maybe a bit ignorant), especially after you told him that you were ready to see a therapist (great idea because that's what I did and I'm a lot better now). I don't even know why he said that when you said you were going to see a therapist, it kind of makes me mad that he did when you were actively trying to fix yourself. My boyfriend was happy that I saw one and supported me.

But he might not be aware that people with anxiety issues do not simply just get over it, it's a long process of acceptance. A lot of people think that way about anxiety so I don't really think you should blame him for that.
So you should definitely communicate to him that this is a part of you that you are trying to fix and as a boyfriend he should be supportive in your decision, and that you are hurt by him telling you to get over it. Though he hasn't talked to you, just be the bigger person and explain yourself, because he may not fully understand.

BTW you are not WORTHLESS. You deserve to feel good about yourself, I used to think exactly like you, and it's just circular thinking. Therapy is the way to go. Fantastic book if you would like to get started on your way to loving yourself: Anxiety and Phobia Workbook. If you need anyone to talk to you can PM me. I want to help because I know how it felt and still feels.

Oh my god it's not only me!

For people currently in this situation: Going back is never as bad as it seems and it feels so good to get back on track. You can do it, don't think about it just go!

Letting go of the shame you feel for "being weak" is a big part of this (at least for me).
And fuck drugs for this problem, either get a good doc that specializes in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, or find this book that my doc gave to me:
http://www.amazon.com/Anxiety-Phobia-Workbook-Edmund-Bourne/dp/1572248912/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1321356734&sr=8-1

CBT has worked better than any drug and has a the best overall success rate for dealing with Anxiety (around 90%).

What I found most helpful were the mental and physical practices I learned for getting through the panic attack.

You have to learn that you will be ok once the panic attack passes. During the attack you have to control your breathing.

Ask yourself "what's the worst that can happen", and then you have to answer that question. Most people ask the question and stop there. That is not effective. Take the time to form a sentence with the possible outcomes. Write them down. Be silly. Say them out loud if you can. It brings to light exactly what you are afraid of and makes it much more manageable.

If you can't get a counselor either for financial or other reasons I recommend this book very strongly:

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1572248912

You have to commit to it and follow the exercises. For example proper breathing is far more effective than you would think. I feel the need to repeat that. Learn to breathe deeply during the panic attack and you will have much more control.

I've fought with anxiety for as long as I can remember. It wasn't long ago that I wouldn't leave the house to buy groceries. I would have a panic attack ordering pizza. These are not exaggerations. Good luck and let me know if there's anything I can offer.

The problem when you quit something that was a habit or that was a large part of how you defined yourself, is coming up with something to replace it. The only way to do this is by trying everything and anything, this is the only way to know if you like something or not. No offence to gamers, but it won't bring you long term happiness. Socialising, interacting with people, volunteering, real life experiences, those give you long term happiness. Sharing your life with people, being accepted, and accepting others brings you happiness. The problem online and in video games is the inability to perceive the other people as real people, and will continue to mark the way in which the community interacts with each other.

Many people who have an addictive personality will switch between gaming, the internet, porn, and substance abuse to feed their addiction. When one becomes boring, it's easier to switch to something else you're addicted to instead of examining your addiction or looking at why you are addicted.

Many people who have addictive personalities do so as a means of escapism, so that they don't have to deal with the real life problems or examine what it is about their lives that is leaving them wanting more. The problem with addiction is that it never really fills the void, it's a temporary fix that will always leave you wanting more or looking elsewhere to fill it.


http://zenhabits.net/the-ultimate-guide-to-motivation-how-to-achieve-any-goal/

http://www.positivityblog.com/index.php/2007/06/13/25-simple-ways-to-motivate-yourself/

And here is a self help book that will help motivate yourself, and look at your life from a different angle, as well as give you some tools to break free of the cycle you are in.

The Mindful Way through Depression: Freeing Yourself from Chronic Unhappiness

Here is one for anxiety The Mindful Way through Anxiety

The guided meditation serves to help you focus. It helps you learn self control, discipline. It also helps you learn to be able to stop your internal dialogue at will, so when you start getting into your habitual routine of negative self talk, or rewarding yourself with your addiction, you are equipped better to deal with it. Perception, addiction, it shows the power of the mind. If you can train your mind, you can overcome nearly anything.

Feeling bad and feeling good take the same amount of effort, what matters is what you emphasize. As we grow throughout our lives we tell ourselves we are a certain way, and reinforce this by habitual thinking and acts. Other people develop an idea of who they think we are, and they too will reinforce these ideas on you. It is important to remember that in the same way we developed ideas on the world and who we are, bit by bit, day by day, it is possible in the same way to change these ideas. They aren't static, you are constantly growing and changing. Change is hard, because it's new. Habits are comfortable because we know how they work, we know the outcomes. We need to constantly push ourself out of our boundaries if we ever truly want to discover who we are.

You are an addict. You basically rewire your brain to go back to the same experience over and over again, because you know you will get the same results. The more you train your brain through a repetitive action, the easier it is for you to use it. You have to learn to be able to stop yourself, it isn't easy. Day by day, with enough practice like riding a bike, you can learn to do it. Commit yourself to quitting, as much as you commit yourself to being rewarded with reddit. If it took you 5 years to get to this point, it isn't going to happen in 15 days, a month, or maybe even a year. I'm not sure about you, but some people have replaced reality for a website, and that isn't healthy.

You can do it, if you believe in yourself as much as your parents, people who love you, or even I do, you will be able to overcome your addiction. It may be helpful for you to see someone who specializes in internet addiction, or treatment centers that are expensive like www.netaddictionrecovery.com

May you follow on paths with strength

Edit: Forgot a word. Most of this is applicable to any addict. You are are in a constant battle with yourself. You either use your mind to rise above it, or it will control your mind.

1. What was the most effective thing you've ever done to improve your life?

went to therapy

2. How did you do it?

I used PsychologyToday.com to find a therapist. You can search by insurance, what kinds of issues they have experience in, what types of treatment they do, their gender and religion if that's important to you, if they're open to LGBT folks, if they do video/online counseling. I chose a youngish guy who had a kind face, and that worked out.

3. How did you realize that it was the thing that needed changing?

My therapist connected all the dots for me. Before I went to therapy, I was trying to optimize a completely broken system. I couldn't see how procrastinating on doing the dishes was related to how much I drank every day, how that was related to my depression and lack of motivation, which was of course unrelated to my childhood and how I learned to think and behave growing up. Therapy was like making a map connecting all the dots and once I did that I could see multiple paths out. I made some small changes, which led to bigger changes, and now I'm 5 months sober, hitting the gym twice a week, asleep by 10pm every night, back to my hobbies and looking forward to the future

4. Why hadn't you changed it sooner?

moneyyyy

5. What was the biggest obstacle?

moneyyyy

6. How did you overcome it?

I got a promotion and raise at work and took the plunge. I wish I had a better answer and I wish quality mental health services were more available.

7. What would you advise someone who wants to do the same?

if money's a problem: look for younger folks still under supervision. They're often cheaper, and studies show age makes no appreciable difference in quality of care. The office may offer a sliding scale fee, and some are able to give you a lower price if you explain your situation to them. If you really can't afford it, books can really help too. This one on Childhood Emotional Neglect really opened my mind. The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook is also extremely helpful.

Obviously I don't think everyone in this sub has a mental illness and needs therapy. But if you're struggling with a consistent lack of motivation, inability to get going, general dissatisfaction, etc. I think it can be really helpful to examine the structures at work behind that. Are you trying to optimize a broken system?

Finally, a thread where I can contribute! Let me take my gloves off. And first of all, excuse my English as I'm self-taught (but getting better!)

First off, you are not alone. I was first diagnosed with OCD in early 2018, and later other professionals dismissed that diagnosis. So, according to many, I don't have OCD, but I have traits of it. My first advice would be to seek treatment, which you already have, so my first actual advice is to go to a Cognitive Behavioral Therapy center and have some tests run on you. You say you have a weird form of anxiety/OCD. Well, maybe you don't have OCD at all. I don't want to give you false hopes, as you did not detail what is "weird" about it, but I've had several professionals tell me that there is not such a thing as "a little OCD". You either have it or not. With that out of the way, and with the best wishes, here's your arsenal, which will help you whether you do have OCD or you have traits of it that interfere with your life, like I do.

​

First, I wouldn't be answering your actual question and wouldn't be on this subreddit if I didn't recommend "The Mindfulness Workbook for OCD" (https://www.amazon.com/Mindfulness-Workbook-OCD-Overcoming-Compulsions/dp/1608828786/). This is really, really good. Then there's "Everyday Mindfulness for OCD" (https://www.amazon.com/Everyday-Mindfulness-OCD-Tricks-Joyfully/dp/1626258929/) which I have not read but heard great things about, and, in the same venue, there's "The Mindfulness Workbook for Anxiety" (https://www.amazon.com/Mindfulness-Workbook-Anxiety-8-Week-Solution/dp/1641520299/) which is not just for OCD but for anxiety in general.

EDIT: I have not ignored your comment saying that mindfulness has not been effective for you, but I would stay with it. Maybe you can supplement it with loving-kindness meditation which also has been great for me, but mindfulness is mainly what I do. But yes, it is hard, and OCD or OCD-like traits are sometimes going to suck no matter what you do. You just have to learn to live with them, or despite them!

​

Now, with meditation out of the way, I HAVE to recommend these books, because they have been great to me. The best of them all has been this one: "The OCD Workbook" (https://www.amazon.com/OCD-Workbook-Breaking-Obsessive-Compulsive-Disorder/dp/1572249218/). It's so helpful. Contact me if you can't get it. You are not going to be sorry, I promise.

The second best is "Overcoming Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts" (https://www.amazon.com/Overcoming-Unwanted-Intrusive-Thoughts-Frightening/dp/1626254346/). I can't recommend this one enough. Once again, contact me if you can't get it.

There is also a new one which I have not read but have bought (again, contact me if you can't get it) that is called "OCD: A Workbook for Clinicians" (https://www.amazon.com/OCD-Workbook-Clinicians-Obsessive-Compulsive/dp/1559570504/). I have it in my to-read list but have heard only GREAT things about it, and it's a very short book.

​

Now comes the memoir section. This is for when you don't want to feel alone (you're not). There's "Is Fred In The Refrigerator?" (https://www.amazon.com/Fred-Refrigerator-Taming-Reclaiming-Life/dp/1732177007/) Which I absolutely love. It's very motivational, at least to me. There is also "Pure OCD" (https://www.amazon.com/PURE-OCD-Invisible-Obsessive-Compulsive-Disorder/dp/1634919912/ maybe you referred to this as your "weird form of OCD"?) which is great but I had to put down because the girl started to talk about suicidal thoughts and it made me feel bad because it reminded me of my own struggle, and figured that for the time being, until I'm in a better place, I needed to stop. And then there's also this one which is pretty "funny" (without trying to be rude) that is called "Because We Are Bad" (https://www.amazon.com/Because-We-Are-Bad-Thought/dp/0062696165/) in which the author has a form of OCD that I have not heard of anybody else having.

​

And if you need to talk, feel free to message me. I love talking to other people who have to face mental health issues, because it makes me feel that I'm not alone, and it makes me feel that I'm contributing a little. Maybe we can even do some Skype sessions and endure the struggle together.

​

Stay strong over and over again (heh)

This idea is a large part of Alan Watt's message in The Wisdom of Insecurity.

I'm 28 now and doing well, but I had serious panic disorder when I was around your age. I have always been an anxious person, especially socially... I mean, even when I was a toddler I was worrying about things and getting anxious in groups. When I was around 16 I started getting panic attacks almost daily, mostly when I was at school. I know exactly what you mean about being too scared to go back to class during/after one - I was always a good student but after the panic attacks started I would ditch school to avoid those situations. I even literally walked out of class and drove home. Panic attacks are serious and they're NOT "normal nerves" when you're having them that frequently.

I think, as others have suggested, the best course of action is to talk to a trusted teacher or counselor at school about what's happening. If you have a doctor that you can see that might be helpful too. Personally, I saw my primary care doctor about the panic attacks and found out I have hypothyroidism, which either caused them initially or made them worse. Also, the doctor, teacher or counselor should be able to get you help or talk to your parents and convince them that what's happening isn't normal.

There are also other resources you can use on your own (although I think a therapist/counselor is the best course of action right now). These were all recommended to me by my therapist:

paniccenter.net has free online cognitive behavioral therapy tools for panic

Hope and Help for Your Nerves is a book by Claire Weekes that helped me a lot

The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook

If you can't get the books, I have both and can mail them to you for free if you'd like, just PM me. I hope everything gets better for you soon. I know it's REALLY tough to deal with panic and anxiety but it can get better. If you want to talk about it or have any questions you can PM me as well.

Hey monkeyfett, I'm sorry to hear about how bad you are feeling. What I found most helpful and motivating was The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook (apologies for the mobile link). It looks as though there is also a Depression version if you think that's more appropriate to your situation. The two disorders can be similar and coexisting.

This workbook is written in a comforting and informative style and filled with helpful, nurturing information. It puts the power in your hands by giving you information to understand yourself and your condition and gives you tools to decide what's the best way to proceed for yourself.

It was awesome because you can take it at your own pace, and it is available 24/7 unlike a doctor or specialized program. They are extremely helpful if you haven't found the right program or doctor yet. There is a wealth of information that is well organized into a system, that helps you make up an action plan and tackle the different parts f this complex problem.

I can't recommend these workbooks enough, mine quite literally saved my life. Please feel free to reply or PM with any questions or if you want to talk.

The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook helped me with my anxiety.

It's not exactly a self-help book, but The Mind Illuminated has helped me learn more about meditation and mindfulness.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0307741206?pc_redir=1397447945&robot_redir=1

This Alan Watts book helped me a great deal as far as dealing with fear, anxiety, and tons of other topics of struggle within the general human condition.

I would also recommend anything by Ram Dass. The Only Dance There Is might be his most approachable book as an intro to him. Be Here Now is partly illustrated (beautifully, I might add) but it is not necessarily your typical book. Not to say it is not worth a read, it just might not be a format for everyone. Ram Dass isn't preachy, and his teachings encompass many religion's roots, and weave them beautifully.

I'm friends with a sex addiction counselor and your issues are far more common than you think. You clearly need a therapist but a good one can easily fix this with only a few years time. It sounds to me like you've got traumatic, shame filled memories of your first sexual experiences and it's causing your thought patterns to become erratic and anxious. Basically with traumatic memories your brain goes into intense, fight or flight mode and you begin to believe terrifying and horrible things to be true despite the fact that they are not. Things like "I'm a monster" when you clearly are not.

​

What you can do right now is bring out a bunch of notebook paper and free write about your first sexual experiences. No judgement, just write out your thoughts and see where they take you. Allow yourself to fully think through the things you are thinking without judgement. It's scary, but it's clear the real you isn't a bad person, and no matter how frightened you are you must remember that the real person is always in control.

​

I also think you should immediately begin reading this: https://www.amazon.com/Overcoming-Unwanted-Intrusive-Thoughts-Frightening/dp/1626254346/ref=sr_1_1_sspa?keywords=intrusive+thoughts&qid=1575133963&sr=8-1-spons&psc=1&spLa=ZW5jcnlwdGVkUXVhbGlmaWVyPUFGUkMzQkxSU01TWEkmZW5jcnlwdGVkSWQ9QTA2NzAyODE3MDM0S0xEVzE4QkcmZW5jcnlwdGVkQWRJZD1BMDgxOTk5MzJKMUJUR0ZVNU5SNDcmd2lkZ2V0TmFtZT1zcF9hdGYmYWN0aW9uPWNsaWNrUmVkaXJlY3QmZG9Ob3RMb2dDbGljaz10cnVl

​

Haven't read it myself but looks good. If you need money let me know and I'll venmo you. Don't wait to have it delivered, you need to download it on kindle and begin reading it right now. Take time off work or any responsibilities, if you can and spend some time meditating and relaxing.

This happens to me every time I read "The Wisdom of Insecurity" by Alan Watts. The whole time I'm reading I am thinking, "Yes! This makes so much sense! I've got to start looking at my life differently and living in the now!" Then a week later I'm back to being a general mess. But at least I know the book is there and I can start the whole thing over again.

Sure. There's a bit of a story arc where I came to my senses first, then discovered I wanted to unfuck my life, and leanfire principles is a part of that.

The one that started it all was The Art of Happiness. I was miserable and herein the Dali Lama shocked my life with his assertion that the goal of your life is to be happy. I had a mindset that I had to suffer in order to be worthy of good things in life.

Then, if I recall correctly were non buddhist books, but in the realm getting your head straight:Learned Optimism: How to Change Your Mind and Your Life: I saw this man's TED talk.

& How to Stubbornly Refuse to Make Yourself Miserable About Anything

These two go great together to discover that its all in your head and you can change that. I had a terrible inner dialogue and was able to be rid of it. Life Changer!

The I think I read The Wisdom of Insecurity: A Message for an Age of Anxiety probably 10 times over the last 4-5 years & listened to the audio book when falling asleep. This one really underlined how miserable we make ourselves striving for security that isn't to be had. There is wisdom here that constantly reveals itself long after having read it.

The Pema Chodron Audio Collection was a constant go to also.

My most recent listening are lectures by Ajahn Brahm of Buddhist Society of Western Australia - These lectures really turned me around to moving past the pain, fear & worry about changing my life.

\^\^ I really like listening to these while falling asleep or with a nap on the couch on Sat/Sun afternoons.

Some other notables:

Fuck It: The Ultimate Spiritual Way : Saying Fuck It when you're miserable due to expectations and attachments has a real emotional response vs the above which can be very cerebral.

Man's Search for Meaning: Sometimes it's hard to grateful when wrapped up in our own lives. I read this once a year as a refresher. When I'm being ungrateful I try to remember what others have put up with and it calms down my complaining mind.

The Art of Disappearing: Buddha's Path to Lasting Joy : more from Ajahn Brahm - There is a better way to live our lives and not be miserable. Simplicity and lean fire go really well together.

More minimalism than buddhism, but they jive well together:

Ikigai: The Japanese Secret to a Long and Happy Life

Goodbye, Things: The New Japanese Minimalism

Above all I feel these are all about snapping out of the nonsense mindsets & habits many of us have.

Good luck.

It sounds like your biggest concern is less of an issue with discipline and more of an issue with with anxiety. When fear of a situation or an interaction starts to control your behaviors or causes a physical reaction such as shaking you could be experiencing a panic attack. Anxiety can prevent people from achieving a lot of their goals but it is something that can be worked through.

To help figure out if this is something affecting you I would recommend doing some research and same basic self assessment. Sites like anxieties.com and adaa.org are good place to start.

If you think you might have anxiety issues do not be afraid to seek professional help.

One great book is Anxiety as an Ally: How I Turned a Worried Mind into My Best Friend by Dan Ryckert. In it he details his history with anxiety including his first panic attack, seeking help, and eventually using it as a motivator to things he had never thought possible.

As far as finding work goes, you need to start showing people you are employable. You basically have almost no resume so you will need to start with jobs that require no previous experience such as fast food and retail. While these jobs may not seem appealing they are simply stepping stones to show other future employers you can hold a job. No one hiring at McDonalds is going to bat an eye when you tell them the truth about why you having no previous experience. They see it all the time. If you do any volunteering or charitable work be sure include it on your resume.

You won't be able to walk into a dream job but it won't take long before you have enough on your resume to start moving up to better jobs.

PM me if you have any questions and I wish you the best of luck.

You sound just like me! However, I've got 20+ more years of coping with this than you. IBS is different for everyone, but I'll share what's helped me the most:

Physical symptoms:

1. Reading and following the advice in this book and books like it, has made a huge difference! I still have some trouble balancing my nutrition, but I'm doing much better now stomach-wise.
   
2. High level of soluable fiber supplements. I know this seems extremely counter-intuitive for IBS-D, but my gastro recommended it and it's helped a lot. When I first started, I complained that it wasn't helping and he explained I wasn't taking enough! That was a surprise!
   
3. Probiotic supplements. There are ones formulated specifically for IBS and I couldn't believe how much it helped with the bloating etc.
   
4. Keep working at ruling out triggers. Caffeine is a huge trigger, as is alcohol and smoking. Some people are also sensitive to fructose or gluten, which masks as IBS.
   
5. Use OTC meds when you need them. I never go anywhere without Imodium in my bag! And if you have a long trip coming up, use it preventatively. However, be careful not to use it too much, because you can end up with rebound symptoms.
   
6. Know where your washroom stops are! This helps me a lot, too. If I start having a problem on my way to class or work, I know where to go and don't panic wondering where the loos are. (My dad taught me this tip. He has terrible IBS.)
   
7. Stash a change of clothes and tissues in your bag so if the worst happens you've got options.
   
8. For me, breakfast often starts an attack going, so I don't eat before leaving for work. I'll go to work early and eat there. :)
   
9. Leave extra-early for everything. If you budget time in for bathroom stops, you won't be late!
   
   Psychological Symptoms:
   I hate to breaks this to you, but you've developed agoraphobia. I didn't believe it either when my doc told me, but it is true. It is important to recognize this because it affects how you tackle the problem. Your therapist has the right idea of doing CBT and exposure therapy. It is scary as fuck, but it really is the only way. You have to do what scares you, when it scares you, otherwise the fear will rule you. I'm still fighting this, but you can beat the anxiety back. This workbook has helped me understand the problem much better. You can look at quite a bit of it for free online.
   
   The important thing to remember is that your anxiety about the problem is not in line with the actual problem. With the proper tools and support, you can get your life back. I've had jobs that have had four hour round-trip commutes that included a ferry ride without a bathroom on board. I've done jobs that have required me to travel for hours by car to do research. My husband and I flew 12 hrs each way to go to Hawaii last year! It isn't easy, but you can live you life if you take the literal steps to get out the door. :) :) :)
   
   If you want to chat privately, feel free to PM me. I'm happy to help. I wish Reddit, and the Internet in general, had been around when I was your age. I might not have suffered alone for so long.

I used to take Lexapro for my anxiety/panic attacks (prescribed by my General Practitioner) and it worked wonders (with no / very mild side effects), but then I decided to try going off it (because we wanted to get pregnant and it’s not safe for pregnancy), and seeing a Clinical Psychologist instead, and after about 10 sessions I’m officially cured!

It’s been over a year since I’ve had a panic attack and I’m not afraid of having them anymore (or afraid of having anxiety symptoms) because I know what they are. I understand the body’s fight-or-flight response now and what adrenaline does to your body, and I just think “Oh yeah, this. I know what this is.” I probably spent $1,000 total on the sessions ($100 per session), but let me tell you a secret - what REALLY helped me was reading this cheap Amazon eBook and watching these free YouTube videos:

Dare: The New Way to End Anxiety and Stop Panic Attacks: https://www.amazon.com/dp/0956596258/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_U3d8Cb6SEKRNP

PanicFreeTV YouTube channel:
https://youtu.be/uXeGr-yYCB4
https://youtu.be/gnVdXN_iZsQ

They all told me the same thing - that you need to LEAN INTO your anxiety! Let it wash over you! Let it happen! INVITE it to happen! Use your imagination to try to make it even worse! Anxiety/panic is counterintuitive. It worsens the more you fight against it. So stop fighting against it and accept it. Once you TRULY accept it, it goes away and never comes back. I promise!!

It’s a simple concept, but it takes practice. Lots of practice. I started out by mentally willing my heart to beat faster (which is impossible). With each surge of trying, I would notice my heart was beating slower, not faster, and my anxiety was subsiding. Give it a try next time you are worried about your heart beating fast/hard and let me know if it works!

P.S. - If you are a neurobiology nerd (like myself), this book is also awesome:
Rewire Your Anxious Brain: How to Use the Neuroscience of Fear to End Anxiety, Panic, and Worry: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1626251134/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_gde8Cb4GGXG2N

The key to curing anxiety/panic is to research the HECK out of it! Understand it COMPLETELY! I promise you, many of the sentences in these books will make you cry because you will relate to them so dang much!

Good luck, my friend! You can do this!!

Sex is the least of your worries. And believe it or not, if your wife is not being as supportive as she can, your relationship is not even your number one priority.

I know this from experience. When I was 27, I went through an extremely difficult time with anxiety and panic attacks, which developed into a severe panic disorder with as side of agoraphobia.

Unfortunately, NONE of all the medical (and psychological) professionals I saw at that time helped too much. It took a good seven years (after I moved to a major metropolitan area) for me to find a psychologist who understood anxiety.

You need to solve this issue first. What worked for me was cognitive therapy. It takes time. It takes work. It takes dedication.

With time, you will be able to successfully to train yourself to reframe how you view everything in order to break out of the vicious circle where anxiety begets more anxiety. Cognitive Therapy treatment is backed by decades of research. Drugs (used an adjunct) might be helpful. But you need to have the one that works for you (for whatever it's worth, Klonopin was effective for me). But as you improve, you can SLOWLY (that is key!) titrate your dosage until it's zero.

Why not start here for more information:

http://www.panicattackrecovery.com/cognitive-behavioral-therapy-anxiety.html

http://www.amazon.com/The-Mindful-Way-through-Anxiety/dp/1606234641

Sounds like Pure O or Pure Obsessional OCD although the name is a misnomer since sufferers also have compulsions that can take the form of a constant need to ruminate about certain thoughts or themes. This books is good The Mindfulness Workbook for OCD: A Guide to Overcoming Obsessions and Compulsions Using Mindfulness and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (A New Harbinger Self-Help Workbook) https://www.amazon.com/dp/1608828786/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_USdSCbT2QD388

This one isnt specifically about OCD it tends to be general but this girl knows her stuff helped me out a lot. Hope and Help for Your Nerves https://www.amazon.com/dp/0451167228/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_3YdSCbDPJSP0M

I would suggest making a counseling appointment at the student health and wellness center. But in the meantime, I would suggest taking walks, doing breathing exercises, etc to try to distract yourself. Having a support system is really important too, so try to talk to your roommate(s), friends, family, etc about it so that they can help you!

If you can, I would suggest getting The Anxiety & Phobia Workbook because that's helped me a lot with trying to find ways to cope with my anxiety and address the root causes (it also has audio activities online for you to listen to). Oftentimes, panic attacks and anxiety are caused because we are too tense and don't even realize it; are you clenching your jaw right now? Are your shoulders scrunched up? These are things we do every day that send stress signals to our brain, and we don't even realize that we're doing them. Breathing exercises and progressive muscle relaxation exercises are super helpful for me (both of which I learned from the workbook but you can also find videos for online), I did them every day for a few weeks last spring quarter and it probably saved me from a few panic attacks.

Here's a link to the workbook if you wanna check it out: https://www.amazon.com/Anxiety-Phobia-Workbook-Edmund-Bourne/dp/1626252157/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1538276019&sr=8-3&keywords=the+anxiety+and+phobia+workbook

Just remember that you're not alone! It's scary and difficult, but there are so many people who are in the same boat as you and I highly suggest reaching out to loved ones about what you're going through because chances are at least one of them will be able to relate. I hope things get better for you very soon!

Hi there! I have been living with anxiety and OCD for as long as I can remember, and in more recent years depression has come onto the scene as well. It's hard to give situation-specific advice since you didn't provide information about your particular brand of anxiety (like triggers, frequency of panic attacks, etc.), but I can break down what I have found works for me. I hope my experience with combating anxiety will be useful to you!

• Tip No. 1: If your anxiety is severe enough to affect or impair your daily functioning (for example, your ability to work or school, have healthy relationships, and basically make it through the day in a bearable way), get help. There is assistance available even for those who are uninsured or financially strapped, especially in metropolitan areas.
  
  
• Tip No. 2: Therapy has honestly been the most beneficial and effective part of my treatment. I would even go so far as to recommend it without reservation to anyone suffering from anxiety, especially if their symptoms are on the milder end of the spectrum. I strongly believe that therapy should be the primary line of defense in combating anxiety. That's right, I said it, not medication. Of course there are exceptions to this rule of mine, such as in crisis situations (following a suicide attempt, hospitalization for a severe panic attack, etc.), but in my opinion, many people tend to jump straight to medication before exploring other options and then find themselves disappointed with often lackluster results. As a bit of a caveat, sometimes it does take time to find a skilled therapist that you can trust and connect with. This may be especially difficult with social anxiety or if you have had a bad experience with therapy in the past. Keep at it. It'll more than likely be worth it in the end.
  
  
• Tip No. 3: If therapy alone is not enough, medication prescribed by a mental healthcare professional is a valid option. In my experience with friends and such who received psychiatric medications from their primary care physicians, the results were often mixed or negative. The simple fact is that while PCPs are great for lots of other health concerns, the mind is not their area of expertise. A psychiatrist, psychiatric nurse practitioner, or psychologist (in states where they can prescribe) is much better equipped to recommend, adjust, and switch medications when necessary than your average general practitioner of medicine. And just like finding the right therapist, finding the right medication often takes patience and persistence. If you have specific questions about medications (I have been on several SSRIs and mood stabilizers in the past), feel free to ask away. And finally, don't expect medication to fix everything. It won't. I know that might seem obvious, but I've seen a lot of people stop taking medication when they shouldn't have just because their life wasn't immediately fixed. At their best, meds just make life easier to confront, not easier to live.
  
  
• Tip No. 4: Something that has been unexpectedly helpful in combating my own anxiety is doing lots of research about literally everything that scares or concerns me. It started when I was first prescribed medication and I was afraid of side effects, so I went online and started reading up on them. Yes, there were horror stories, but the majority of people don't spontaneously combust on antidepressants, and that made me feel better. From there, I started researching my phobias, like flying. Just knowing the mechanics and realistic risks of things that cause you anxiety is often enough to put mild anxiety to rest.
  
  
• Tip No. 5: Books like this can sometimes be useful for learning techniques to quell anxiety, such as thought stopping (a personal favorite of mine) and other relaxation techniques. They're especially great in times when you can't see a professional for whatever reason, because they're designed to model therapeutic techniques.
  
  Sorry for writing you a bit of a novel, but I wanted to make sure that I covered everything and explained myself well. Also, please note that I left off a lot of other techniques that are highly effective for many people (such as mediation/prayer) because I personally have not had success with them. That obviously doesn't mean you shouldn't explore them, in fact, I encourage you to. Everyone is different. I hope that what I have learned thus far in working through anxiety is useful to you.

Freedom from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder: A Personalized Recovery Program for Living with Uncertainty

Specifically what she referred me to is that in the book the author has a bunch of example "exposure scripts", it's like an exercise to ease obsessions through exposure therapy. If you wanna talk more about it PM me my dude

I have panic disorder, diagnosed about ten years ago. Tbh the only thing that's worked for me is medication (SSRIs - Prozac right now but I've also used Lexapro). I tried to quit medication because I hadn't had an attack in years, and my anxiety came back with a vengeance so I've just accepted that I will probably take medication for the rest of my life. It's better than feeling anxious all the time.

I really think you should see a professional. I have a psychiatrist but I also saw a psychologist who helped me with relaxation techniques. He also recommended these books, which I found helpful:

http://www.amazon.com/Anxiety-Phobia-Workbook-Edmund-Bourne/dp/1572248912

http://www.amazon.com/Hope-Help-Your-Nerves-Signet/dp/0451167228

If you have any questions or anything feel free to message me anytime :)

There are a number of self-help books out there that can give you support and even give you some guidance in some forms of treatment. The ones I used before I went into therapy were:

The Mindfulness Workbook for OCD (Mindfulness and ERP therapy)

Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life (ACT therapy)

The OCD Workbook (ERP therapy)

There is always an added benefit of therapy that you have a coach who can help you with the process of recovery. I tried self-help before therapy, and while self-help helped (heh), I still struggled. At a certain point, I could afford therapy, so I went for it and it helped a lot. I learned that I had underestimated the importance of the cognitive part of CBT, and I needed some coaching on that. But the themes I tackled during my self-help ERP--I had killed them dead. I learned I was kinda doing the exposures a little wrong during my self-help phase, but I still got the effect. YMMV.

I also recommend just general support groups like this one, ocdforums.org, and The OCD Stories. Not gonna lie--sometimes I go there for research/reassurance (as do a lot of the posters on the forums). But some days, I read or hear something that really clicks and is super helpful. And that can go a long way. I still use some of the techniques and phrases I learned on those sites.

Recovery is possible. Hang in there.

YES. All the time. It's crazy but I never understood how ridiculous they were until very recently. I just assumed that because they popped into my head, that they must exist. This naturally caused me HUGE distress and some therapy and medication.

​

One resource that I found to be extremely helpful is a book called "Overcoming Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts." It does a great job of breaking down myths about thoughts and explains the science of why these kinds of thoughts even happen. I highly recommend looking into it.

​

Realizing that thoughts have no roots in reality was a total game changer for me. I still have lots of work to do, but at least now I can breathe a little easier.

Yeah, it's definitely real - although many contemporary psychologists reject the idea that it is actually "purely" obsessional. The more reasonable interpretations are that the compulsions themselves become mental (for example, instead of checking the door five times when you leave the house, you check your memory five times every time you think you might be a bad person or might have committed some crime).

Here's a quote from an eminent psychologist:
"The category of primary mental obsessions has also been referred to as pure-O, suggesting that both obsessions and compulsions are entirely mental, with no behavioral rituals or avoidances. Many sufferers with primarily mental obsessions are concerned that there is no treatment for pure-O for two reasons. First, believing that they have no behavioral components to their OCD, they assume that there aren't any exposures they can do. If you are worried about this you'll be happy to know that you are wrong. There is exposure for the primary mental obsessions: imaginal exposure... The second reason many of you may despair is that you have read elsewhere that primary mental obsessions can be harder to treat. They can be more difficult to treat, but far less so than what you have read suggests"

It's from this book, pg. 220:
https://www.amazon.com/Freedom-Obsessive-Compulsive-Disorder-Personalized/dp/042527389X

No problem, my guy! Okay so book-wise. The two main recommendations are dependent on what it is you're going through, so choose your own adventure I guess...

So for a broad take on what Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (which is what I'm describing above) is with perhaps somewhat more of a focus on depression than anything else I'd go with this: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Feeling-Good-New-Mood-Therapy/dp/0380810336

However if you want something from the same author that specialises more specifically in CBT for Anxiety it's this: https://www.amazon.co.uk/When-Panic-Attacks-drug-free-therapy/dp/0091929601

I personally read 2/3 the way through the first one wandering when it was going to go more into Anxiety until I found the second one and just went through all of that myself. But as I've mentioned, the first one introduces you to the concept of CBT overall better. But both books have a handful of techniques that help you untangle certain thought illusions (or 'Cognitive Distortions' as they are officially titled) which cause Depression, Anxiety, OCD, Anger, etc.

As for other recommendations; Maybe my second favourite book is 10% Happier by Dan Harris, which is quite a popular one you may have heard of. Basically about an NBC reporter's journey through the world of meditation, which is also a really worthwhile subject to anyone interested in the upkeep of their own mental health or indeed the mental health of others.

Then I guess the book I've gifted the most and my personal favourite is Anxiety As An Ally by Dan Ryckert which is an account of a game journalist's experience with Anxiety growing up. Honestly the easiest book I've ever read. It's just so unpretentious and candid, genuinely funny at points too. I've found it's been a really nice way to get family members to understand what Anxiety or even mental health in general is. A very encouraging and vindicating read for anyone who has dealt with it.

What you're describing as "introversion" is actually social anxiety disorder. Introversion refers more to a person's innate social tendencies and their threshold for social interaction. Plenty of introverts enjoy socializing with people, they just recharge through time spent alone.

The good news is that SAD is very treatable. Therapy is the best solution, but since you can't afford it I recommend you either look for a sliding scale mental health clinic in your area (the one I work at gives rates of $15 per session for students) or go to a bookstore and drop about $25 on a book like this.

>Lately I have been working out regularly, I have lost weight and my strength has increased drastically. But aside from taking care of my body which will give me confidence, and help me with mental health.

>I should have graduated this year but I had to take off a year to help my father with our business (which is doing poorly and is contributing to our stress at home). I feel a bit useless but I should be graduating in Spring 2020.

You have your shit together. You helped your family in a time of need and you're graduating soon. That is having your shit together.

> My mental health is in an okay state, I don’t get panic attacks or anything anymore. I just have mild moments of my anxiety trying to trick me into believing something is wrong with me.

>I also don’t have a proper sleeping schedule, some days I go to bed at 2 AM or 3 AM and wake up whenever I want.

These two might be linked. If you don't get enough sleep then you'll get anxiety. If it's just going to bed late and you're getting enough sleep there is nothing wrong with that as long as you're productive; which seems to me that you are.

Okay when it comes to anxiety here is a copy and pasted comment from all of the stuff I've been doing/ trying to do:

Things I'm Doing Now

• Thought Records With A CBT app
  
  
• Journaling
  
  
• Mindfulness Meditation with Headspace App
  
  
• 30 minutes of exercise a day. Mostly swimming which helps with timed breath.
  
  
• Exposure therapy. I find ways of doing shit that scares the fuck out of me and getting use to it. This is fucking hard.
  
  
• Councilling
  
  
• Group Support
  
  
• Talk to friends
  
  
• No caffeine no stimulants.
  
  
• Beta Blockers for high blood pressure (I want off of them)
  
  
• I had to cut back on work and am trying to learn how to have lower standards for myself and to love myself.
  
  
• I'm trying to get my hands on Universe Sandbox VR (I'm not really spiritual but space helps me feel that grander feeling and that's really good for anxiety.)
  
  
• I also did the Jordan Peterson Self Authoring program. It was okay, but I wouldn't recommend past authoring for people with PTSD. It's just a writing exercise. I found 12 rules for life to be bad, but that's just my opinion. I personally don't recommend Jordan Peterson for dealing with anxiety, but his future planning and present authoring is helpful.
  
  
• I also do no fap, but not really because I believe in all of the shit that r/nofap says. It's just a slight edge.
  
  
• Asserting myself properly. This one takes time to learn. Some people with anxiety just can't say no. I always could and would fight with people, but that's not really being assertive.
  
  Things I Plan To Do
  
  
• Diet Changes with clean protein(boneless chicken breast, chickpeas, beans, non fatty cuts of meat, salmon), carbs(greens, fruits, moderated startchy carbs), and fats (flax, nuts, fish). I also want to work on changing my gut bacteria. (A good note is sometimes your anxious because your blood sugar is low)
  
  
• Finding new interests. I literally have nothing I like to do.
  
  
• Potentially EMDR or hypnotherapy. (These are both controversial)
  
  
• Been busting my ass trying to get a proper sleep schedule together. (THIS IS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT) Joe Rogan has a wicked podcast with someone that studies sleep.
  
  Resources
  
  https://www.anxietycanada.com/adults/creating-a-map
  
  https://my.headspace.com
  
  I like the Buddhist Society
  
  Books that I've read that have helped me
  
  
• Rewire Your Anxious Brain: How to Use the Neuroscience of Fear to End Anxiety, Panic, and Worry (Explains the neuroscience of anxiety)
  
  
• The ABCS of Coping with Anxiety: Using CBT to manage stress and anxiety (Explains how to deal with anxiety)
  
  
• Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find - And Keep - Love (Talks about relationship anxiety. Super interesting stuff!)
  
  
• Insecure in Love: How Anxious Attachment Can Make You Feel Jealous, Needy, and Worried and What You Can Do About It
  
  All of those books were written by academics and not just some asshole guru. Mostly phd psychologists, neuroscientists, and medical doctors.
  
  

  When it comes to your negative thinking:
  

  
  You're pretty fucking hard on yourself. Negative thoughts have purpose and ignore that power of positivity bullshit. Learn to be mindful and compassionate towards yourself because you're going to burnout if you beat the shit out of yourself. There is a mindful self compassion workbook by Kristin Neff Phd that you should pick up.
  
  You don't have to do all of the things I do. I recommend that you engage in some hobbies, talk to some friends, find community, and think about the stuff you did for your dad as meaningful. You have a lot that you've done and to be absolutely honest I'm a bit envious.
  
  Meditation will help with your sleep. Take breaks. Don't spend too much money, and just try to be understanding of yourself man. Talk to someone before mental health gets to be too much.

There's nothing wrong with feeling angry or sad provided they don't interfere with your quality of life. In fact anger can be a very useful, empowering tool to help identify where things are wrong, where boundaries are being trampled and where you're not living as you expect yourself to. Anger can be very frightening at the same time because it often points out things out of my control and injustices that I feel completely unable to fix. I managed to figure out in therapy that most of my anger was based in fear. If I can examine these fears, see if they're valid, see where I got them, etc. I can take the teeth out of them and cut the anger off at the pass most times.

So what do I do with the remainder of justifiable anger I've been carrying for forty odd years? I write, I take a baseball bat to my mattress and beat the fuck out of it while screaming at the ever-loving top of my little lungs, I go for runs as if I'm running for my life, I go to therapy and I'm honest with them and with myself, I read, I journal, I meditate, I try to remember not to take things too seriously. The anger will never go away, but it does not have to direct my life; I can direct itnow.

Sadness is a little more difficult for me because as a kid I was raised by very, very angry sicko and I learned that anger was an easier way to express myself than sadness. Sadness requires me to investigate what I'm feeling, it can't be made to go away, and if I let it just hit me like a truck I'll actually experience some happiness rushing in to meet it. That's rare for me though I'm working on trusting that experiencing sadness won't swallow me alive.

There's a shit ton of good books on helping yourself survive the warped perception of and unhealthy expression or repression of emotions. I like this book in particular because my personal experience has resulted in me having an anxiety disorder. There's plenty of other books at the library and on Amazon.

I feel like I say this 10 times a day on this subreddit(because it helped me so much) but mindfulness worked for me. The more you fight your thoughts the more they fight back. Let them be. They will go away on there own if you let them. Just observe them and the emotion that comes with them.

In the mean time there are a lot of self help book out there.

http://www.amazon.com/The-Mindfulness-Workbook-OCD-Compulsions/dp/1608828786

I'm sorry if I came off blunt, but posting on here every few weeks isn't going to magic up an answer, and you didn't say anything about getting help you just posted the same thing as before. Getting better means you stop entertaining the "am I a monster" question, so not posting it on reddit or anywhere else, and you focus on what's important, which is resisting compulsions and looking after your dog as normal.

Here are three different workbooks that have been incredibly helpful for lots of people:
https://www.amazon.co.uk/OCD-Workbook-Obsessive-Compulsive-Harbinger-Self-Help/dp/1572249218
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Mindfulness-Workbook-OCD-Overcoming-Compulsions/dp/1608828786/
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Freedom-Obsessive-Compulsive-Disorder-Personalized/dp/042527389X/

I suggest you pick one and get yourself started with a positive and confident attitude. You can ABSOLUTELY get better from this. But posting on here is the opposite of recovery, it is making you sicker because you're hoping someone will give you the magic sentence that clears this up for you, which reinforces your need to go over the questions in your head. Go give your doggo a cuddle and have a look at the reviews of the workbooks. If you want to get a better understanding of OCD check out the OCD Stories podcast (on YT and itunes). Over a hundred interviews with specialists and sufferers, and check out Mark Freeman on Youtube to learn a bit more about handling painful and difficult thoughts, as well as Katie D'Ath who has a short series explaining how OCD works and what's going on in your head. These resources have been instrumental in my own recovery, which isn't 'full' yet but is miles better than the wreck I was a few months ago.

Reddit is a cesspit of people half-managing their condition and giving terrible advice and it will drag you down into getting worse. If you get the urge to post you're honestly better off taking your dog for a walk and watching a movie until the urge subsides. There are no answers here, only illness and you're better than that.

Xanax is highly addictive. Overdose and withdrawal are quite nasty. Tolerance builds up quickly. In general, it's best used for rare, circumscribed anxiety, like someone who has a fear of flying takes it a few times a year when they have to take a plane. Xanax can multiply the effect of alcohol, so I would recommend drinking very little or nothing while on it.

Adderall can also be addictive, but not quite so much as Xanax. There is much more research showing that you can take a steady dose of Adderall under a doctor's supervision for a long period of time without harm. However, you may feel some withdrawal if/when you stop.

Children who take adderall long-term end up a little bit shorter than their non-medicated peers, probably because they eat less. (Adderall suppresses appetite.) If you've already grown to adult height, this is not a concern.

Suggestions:

(1) You might have less anxiety if you take an extended release form (if you don't already). They produce a "smoother" onset of the drug so you don't feel that jittery rush after taking it. Adderall XR is the regular extended release. There's also Vyvanse which has an even slower effect because it has to get converted to its useful form while in your body.

(2) You might ask your doctor to let you try methylphenidate instead of Adderall or one of its cousins. Methylphenidate (ritalin/concert) works about equally as well and some people just do better on one over the other.

(3) Strattera is a non-stimulant ADHD drug. It doesn't work for everyone, but it might help you get the focus you need without anxiety.

(not a suggestion) There are other drugs used to treat ADHD including atypical neuroleptics (like Risperdal) and beta blockers (like guanfacine). Those mainly treat hyperactive symptoms, especially aggression. They don't really do much for inattention, so they won't help you.

(4) There are effective non-drug treatments for inattention in children - they require parents and teachers to provide frequent feedback and reinforcement to keep the kid on task. These aren't always feasible in adulthood, and don't always make sense in certain situations (such as driving). Nonetheless, they do have some use. If you want a non-drug solution, techniques like going to a boring location away from distractions, using ColdTurkey or similar software to block distracting sites, making procrastinating more difficult, etc. are helpful. (Personal favorite trick is whenever I'm trying to work, I completely unplug every cable that hooks up my TV and video games - if I want to play, I have to spend a few minutes on cables which is annoying, so I'm discouraged from playing.) There are a lot of books on self-management of adult ADHD. They have lots of these suggestions and they are moderately effective. YOu could also work on these issues with a therapist who would coach you on applying these techniques.

(5) You could keep taking Adderall but learn to cope with the anxiety. All the techniques psychologists have for coping with anxiety (deep breathing, mindfulness, muscle relaxation, distracting thoughts, etc.) work just as well on "fake" anxiety as on the real thing. If you want to try this, you can look up a lot of good stuff online, or treat yourself to The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook which is the czar of evidence-based anxiety self-help books.

http://www.amazon.com/Dialectical-Behavior-Therapy-Skills-Workbook/dp/1572245131

http://www.amazon.com/Anxiety-Phobia-Workbook-Edmund-Bourne/dp/1626252157/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1449376351&sr=1-1&keywords=anxiety+phobia+workbook

Hey, sorry you are feeling that way! I have definitely felt similar at times. The lack of enjoyment you're describing is often termed "anhedonia", which is a symptom of depression (although it doesn't necessarily mean you're clinically depressed - also I'm not a doctor :P). I think I have 3 main suggestions!

First, I see in another comment you are considering seeing a therapist. I would just say that I've had several years of therapy and it's taken me from a place of often feeling like you describe, or worse, to a point where I am very happy with my life. There is nothing shameful about it - on the contrary, you can feel proud about going, as it means you are taking care of yourself!

Second, making sure that you are getting exercise is hugely important! Exercise can have as big or bigger of an effect as antidepressant medication. I highly recommend this book. It's a great guide to the benefits of exercise for mood, and practical tips on getting started and building an exercise routine.

Thirdly, if it appeals to you at all, meditation is also a huge help! I would recommend Headspace to get started. No affiliation, I just really benefited from the app - there are tons of others too. I don't use it anymore but I do have a regular meditation practice and it really helps me regulate my mood.

I feel like there is a good sense of connection and camraderie on this sub. We all are drawn to this show in various ways, but like you describe, I think many of us identify will Elliot and the emotional struggles he has. From that perspective, it's not odd to ask for help here. It's nice to be able to help each other out!

I hope you find something that works for you! Just remember that it can take time to make changes, and don't get discouraged if it takes a while to feel better. You can do it!

The Wisdom of Insecurity by Alan Watts (really, anything by Alan Watts) and The Unteathered Soul by Michael Singer. They're more commonly found under zen or Buddhism than Self Help though. For me they were the most helpful in gaining control of one's emotions and thoughts, as well as self acceptance and happiness in one's life as-is, rather than any unreachable goals or futures.

1. Hang-out sessions with no official end time (like all-day events). I like to know when I will get to go home, and I'm a little awkward about exiting social situations.
   
2. Eating around people who are not my immediate family. I do it anyway, but it's very uncomfortable physically and emotionally.
   
3. Parties with loud music and lots of people.
   
4. Making plans with new friends.
   
   I was recommended this book by a relative's therapist, and am planning to buy it this weekend: http://www.amazon.com/Anxiety-Phobia-Workbook-Edmund-Bourne/dp/1572248912/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1343339220&sr=8-1&keywords=the+anxiety+and+phobia+workbook

Happy Monday, everyone ♥

This cool dude has been hanging around outside my place the past few days. I think I saw him again this morning, but it could be a different osprey. For the sake of a good story, I'll pretend it's the same one and we're bros now.

It's gonna be a good week. Saturday night I was part of a really good business meeting that detailed a strategy for the next few weeks, months, and years for a project I'm part of. My involvement mostly involves me sitting in my sweatpants and a dirty t-shirt on the phone with everyone and saying, "Yeah, I dig that idea," and "Nah, that idea blows," on a subject I have little to no knowledge about, so naturally I'm very important to the team.

Enjoy today. Find something positive. And everyone read this book. Everyone.

Try the Anxiety and Phobia Workbook. I used it when I couldn't afford a therapist and was super useful. It helped my anxiety to be able to actually do something about it by going through the workbook and the exercises. It's easily been five years since I got it and I still use some techniques I learned.

Here's a link: https://www.amazon.com/Anxiety-Phobia-Workbook-Edmund-Bourne/dp/1572248912

Edit: PM me if you have any questions or need advice. I've been dealing with anxiety for over a decade.

I just read about this study that self help CBT therapy is just as effective as in person counseling

this book is a good example. I need to continue to put in the work to improve myself. I still have ups and downs, but with continued progress and a positive attitude, life gets easier and more manageable for me. Alcohol makes everything harder

You can do this!

I finally found the book online! It is called rewire your anxious brain and there is information on it on the following websites:

https://www.amazon.ca/Rewire-Your-Anxious-Brain-Neuroscience/dp/1626251134

https://m.indigo.ca/product/books/product/9781626251137?mkwid=sKLCrs73h_dm&pcrid=44154474422&pkw&pmt&s_campaign=goo-Shopping_Books&gclid=Cj0KEQjw6-PJBRCO_br1qoOB4LABEiQAEkqcVdbdPD9dMAbGwW-juES5iOamGiSzvOUrz0So6ZuNoKwaAvXB8P8HAQ

The ego concept of "my life" as this one chunk of time/accomplishment separate and distinct from individual events within that framework is a very, very frustrating illusion to deal with indeed. The mind views it as problem to solve. The mind loves problems, then it gets to feel useful by "solving" them. "What am I gonna do with my life??" There's usually tons of fear attached to this, it's very stressful to live from the perspective that I'm missing out or there's some formula for happiness that everyone else knows that I don't know. The formula is that there is no formula. No one has any damn clue what they're doing. Everyone makes shit up as they go along. Feel free to do the same. Living in this moment right here helps alleviate the stress the problem solving mind creates so it doesn't go extinct. There is no tomorrow, there is no yesterday. There's only now.

You might really get some good help out of this book called The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook. I first got it at my library and loved it so much I bought a copy.

Check out Susan Cain's book Quiet. If anything, it may make you feel a little more vindicated for being who you are.

With that, yes, the world is pretty well built around extroverts at the moment, but it is navigable if you have the tools. I recommend finding a therapist, not just for developing tools for your introversion, but also to maybe get some help with your social anxiety. If you can't afford one, and can't find a sliding scale one, a friend of mine with bipolar disorder highly recommended this book for developing some basic CBT therapies for navigating whatever kind of anxiety you have.

The Mindfulness Workbook for OCD is a wonderful book. It’s very simple and straightforward! This is my #1! I would recommend the kindle edition, because you can pull it up on a smartphone whenever you need it.

I hope everything works out!

I just finished reading Dare: The New Way to End Anxiety and Stop Panic Attacks Fast and I feel like it was really helpful for my anxiety and panic attacks. I used one of the audios at 2 AM when I couldn't get back to sleep and it worked really well.

The Mindfulness Workbook for OCD

I suffer from OCD as well, and oh boy, let me tell you all the intrusive thoughts I'd dealt with last summer was really brutal to my mental health, but it gets better once you learn how to manage it. The main key in dealing with these intrusive thoughts is by letting them pass through your mind. Don't think about them or dwell about them. If you keep thinking or fighting these thoughts, it keeps coming back. So try as best as you can not to think about them. Your thoughts are NOT you. Remember that.

Now, you have to ask yourself which gender you're really attracted to. There is nothing wrong with having SSA; however, by the sound of its, it sounds like you're either straight or bi. Also, these HOCD could be due to your brain trying the process the events that happened in your childhood that have affected you.

First thing first, are you seeing some sort of therapist to work with on overcoming your OCD tendencies? If cost is a factor, consider going to your local Catholic Charities center. Most have therapists available to help you and it's typically on a sliding scale.

Two, is there anyone you trust that you can talk with about what's going on, like a family member, friend, teacher, priest, etc. Once I was able to open up to my love ones, it felt like a major burden was taken off of me, and I could openly talk about it.

Finally, I recommend you read this book. It really helps you with dealing with unwanted intrusive thoughts.

Of course, make sure to pray daily, especially asking the Blessed Virgin Mary and St. Dymphna for their intercession.

https://www.amazon.com/Wisdom-Insecurity-Message-Age-Anxiety/dp/0307741206

Alan Watts is very good at dealing with problems in contempary western america. despite being written over 50 years ago I think it's still relevant

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=emHAoQGoQic

here's a fun little video of his lectures

For me, meditating on no-thought daily. Reading into zen philosophy, and incorporating it into my life. I absolutely adore Alan Watts, and he's a great place to start - I'd recommend The Book if you want to jump in the deep end, or The Wisdom of Insecurity if you want to start more shallow.

Once you re-orient your life-philosophy (dorky as that sentence sounds) to focus on the now and the recognition that reality goes far beyond the labels we apply to it, the daily maintenance is rather easy. I meditate to clear my mind and re-orient myself, contemplate, and listen to what my body needs - not every person that follows zen does this, but I do, and for me, it's the healthiest, best thing I could possibly do.

PS: here some pointers –not to be taken for the Moon..

​

​

Alan Watts' The Book: On the Taboo Against Knowing Who You Are

​

Alan Watts' The Wisdom Of Insecurity

​

Alan Watts' Become What You Are

​

Charles Tart's Waking Up

​

​

There are zillions of bibliographies and references on the sub for healing from dysfunctional upbringings and other situations of systematic abuse: r/CPTSD

Search such authors in there for instance, and feel free to follow posts and comments speaking about this reprogramming and many other areas of the 'recovery' work; you may start by detecting, dissecting and unraveling the Consensus Trance.

For a first introduction, another book I can think of is Wayne Dyer's 'Your Erroneous Zones', which you'll find referenced over there too. Enjoy!

​

I can’t relate to what you are going through, but I can relate to opening up on issues as a means of help.
I’ve heard this book is fantastic and sounds like something you could benefit of.

Anxiety as an Ally: How I Turned a Worried Mind into My Best Friend https://www.amazon.com/dp/0692401512/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_cXydBbTWG54CB

Dan has been a game critic and pundit for years and has openly spoken on his anxiety.

Here’s an old GoG vid on the topic too.
https://youtu.be/h1l_SW0VWts

I read through the agoraphobic workbook, and they have sheets and everything you can work through. https://www.amazon.ca/Agoraphobia-Workbook-Comprehensive-Program-Symptom/dp/1572243236

So, when I had anxiety, I used The Anxiety & Phobia Workbook with my therapist. I also took zoloft. It took three years of doing this to feel functional and be able to stop all of that treatment.

That said, I still get surges of panic attacks (usually short in duration and a month between), especially when my life is extra stressful. For me, they're short, so I usually just have to talk to someone near me -- "I'm feeling anxious and I need to have a conversation with you." and it usually calms me down.

Have you considered talking to your former doctor about it?

I'm still on medication for depression throughout this pregnancy. It helps me function a lot more than the risks that could be associated with it.

Anyway, therapy, medication, or coping mechanisms (napping, relaxation techniques, exercise) would be my suggestion. Good luck. It's hard.

I suggest you work on addressing the anxiety and its causes. Here's a book I really like on that subject: http://www.amazon.com/Anxiety-Phobia-Workbook/dp/1572248912/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1320700502&sr=8-1

Talking to a real therapist may help a lot as well.

I know I've fallen into a cycle at times where my anxieties and stress cause me to perform poorly at work or at school. That often leads to self-accusation and feelings of anger and frustration. It's important to remember that underneath it all, you are not a bad person, and you don't really want to fail (though it often feels easier than trying to succeed).

Meditation, relaxation techniques, regular exercise, and talking to someone trustworthy such as a therapist or close friend are probably the best treatments you can get for this kind of stuff outside of meds.

Were you working in a call center when this started? It could be that you have some type of phobia now involving phones. Like treefrog said, baby steps are really the key to getting over it. Do you have a friend or family member that you might be able to call maybe once a day? Just to try and help desensitize yourself to the fear?

Same thing for being out on your own, or in crowds. It might just take exposing yourself little by little to it. If you're up for a little reading, this is a book I recommend often, if you're interested, that goes into the step-by-steps of dealing with phobias. I'm not affiliated with them, but I found it to help me a lot when I was going through some bad times. I think it might help you out a lot too.

T長;D読

----
My simple guide on how to meet a girl on Tinder.

> The purpose of this guide is to get her on the phone so when you plan the meetup she feels much more comfortable and is less likely to flake. I don't think this guide is anything special but it clearly shows that texting is not optimal for building a ton of comfort.
>
> Your biggest enemy on Tinder is our attention spans. I've talked to many attractive girls on Tinder but their attention spans are razor thin and can easily be swept away by someone else. I'm guilty of doing this to girls as well. Your second biggest enemy as a male is your neediness. Seeming too thirsty or too impatient can be an immediate rejection. I believe showing patience shows insane abundance mentality. So anyway here's how I go about it.
>
> 1. Talk to your match, have fun
> I usually complement something I like about them and joke around. After some banter ask a question or two to see what they're like.
> 2. Get her number So after you've messaged back and forth and she seems cool I'll usually drop this line which is true for me in my case. " Hey! Let's swap numbers, I don't turn on push notifications on Tinder. Text me @ 75X-XXX-3333 " So this is my first checkpoint to see if she's on Tinder for validation or looking to hang. It's a yes or no answer and if she texts you, she's investing and you're coming off with the "Buyer's mentality."
> 3. CALL HER This is the most Key part! After she texts you, you need to figure out what is a good time to call this girl? I usually go with afternoons and late evenings. If she asks you a question or the conversation is in a place where it's your turn to reply. I will not text her back till the evening when I'm ready to call her. If she replies within an hour. I just straight up call her. Even if they're busy and can't talk they will end up calling you back. If you moved too fast she might reschedule the talk and say we should talk later, just reply back quickly with just, "Ok" to show that you're not too worried about it. Whenever I've done that they usually call me to say goodnight.
>
> Calling her allows you to show your off your voice that you are a guy. You could text each other for 3 weeks and not know as much about each other as 2 hours on the phone. And you'll know before the meetup if you guys are going to click really well or not. Every single time I've done this they've always thanked me for calling them and every single time I've done this they were the ones asking me out at the end of the night. I think it's fucking cool to call someone straight up. I get that rush of adrenaline and my heart races every time I'm about to call a girl for the first time which makes this part of the process for me really fun. Hope this helps someone
> > /u/Gustav_Sirvah:

>>My problem with Tinder is that I get no matches at all... :|
> > > /u/Tttkkkkhhh:

>>>Location, pictures and culture can have a huge impact on matches.
>>>
>>>In Melbourne I got quite a few, in Japan less so, in Taiwan I'm swimming in matches.
>>>
>>>One girl in Taichung saw me at a night market, knew I would be on tinder so matched, met at a bar and chatted before I said "okay let's go". We jump on her scooter back to my hotel room.
> > > > /u/Gustav_Sirvah:

>>>>Heh... I wish have like that... :|
> > > > > /u/Tttkkkkhhh:

>>>>>You can. Anything is possible.
>>>>>
>>>>>If you saw the toothless, unfashionable, slob I used to be you'd be in awe. Everyone can change.
> > > > > > /u/Gustav_Sirvah:

>>>>>>I don't know how to make myself change. I know I should have no bad feelings and don't care about time and effort, but "just do". Why I'm thinking that I'm man of instant gratification? Why I can't be persistent in stuff that seems hard for me? I know I should do so many things to fix my life but I do nothing about that - feeling even worse. I know that I'm now complain. Heh, next thing to change. My whole life needs complete repair.
> > > > > > > /u/Tttkkkkhhh:

>>>>>>>Mine too mate. Most people are like us.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>Change is never one big step, it's a thousand little ones. One day you will realise how much you have changed.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>I recommend reading The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook. This book helped me realise things that I could fix, especially in my thinking.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>You can message me anytime if you need help.
> > > > > > > > /u/Gustav_Sirvah:

>>>>>>>>I need to look it less legal way (money, you know). I read some books but they just make me more sure that there's too much stuff to fix in my life...
> > > > > > > > > /u/Tttkkkkhhh:

>>>>>>>>>大丈夫、二千円だけ


----
^(Check out copy-kun on) ^github!

I use one for PTSD. This one would be an anxiety one, for example. Mobile, linking sucks. Basically just Google the thing you are struggling with + workbook and you'll get a lot of options.

Just like with a therapist, you should be choosy about the ones you use but I have had good luck with mine.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/1572248912/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_BPsXBbHVDC6Y5

Good for you man. Anxiety is no joke.


FWIW, I know someone who dealt with bad anxiety for years, and this book (and a WHOLE lot of therapy) helped them tremendously.

https://www.amazon.com/Anxiety-Phobia-Workbook-Edmund-Bourne/dp/1572248912



Keep fighting the good fight and don't let anxiety rule your life. It definitely does get better!

Based on your account of this situation, it sounds like you might be a very anxious person. I can relate because I have been the same way in the past, but seriously, you need to get a grip on it. Not just for this relationship, but for your own mental well-being. You aren't doing it consciously, but you are torturing yourself needlessly.

Consider therapy - it might be free since you seem to be in college. At the very least, buy this book: The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook. It will give you some insight on why you feel how you feel, and some ways to keep it in check.

Good luck.

I think the question you're asking is one of the fundamental questions humans face.

There is an Alan Watts book called "Wisdom of Insecurity" that explores this question. Corey Anton (a Philosophy prof) mentions it on his youtube channel briefly here:
http://youtu.be/C62zJ7ppf_M?t=1m35s.

"The desire to be secure, and the feeling of insecurity are the same thing." Quite interesting if you think about it.

http://www.amazon.com/The-Wisdom-Insecurity-Message-Anxiety/dp/0307741206

There are things we need to live from nature, like oxygen, heat, complex molecules to make up our physical body, etc. There are also things which are not beneficial to the body, like deseases. Does that mean nature is good or bad? Not necessarily, it means nature just is, "the rain falls equally on the just and unjust".

In that case, you can say it's good, and you can say it's bad, and both would be right. Is that useful? Not really.

There are things on the internet debunking everything, if you care to look for it. It even debunked the David Hume's statement you shared. So what's the point on picking some and discarding others?

It might help to start out with the question: Who am I? You can build your metaphysics on your point of view of that answer. Alan Watts is a great author but it's kind of hard to understand him if he's your first exposure to this topic.

Anyways, maybe he's what you need, check out The Wisdom of Insecurity and/r Out of Your Mind, it might help with your anxiety.

Alan Watts in amazing. I highly recommend this book.

http://www.amazon.com/The-Wisdom-Insecurity-Message-Anxiety/dp/0307741206

Just another vote for https://iocdf.org/find-help

Call some providers in your area and talk to them and ask them how they treat OCD. Anyone listed on the IOCDF website should have good answers.

Also consider this book -- https://smile.amazon.com/Freedom-Obsessive-Compulsive-Disorder-Personalized/dp/042527389X

It is designed for people who aren't or can't work with an OCD specialist, but it's a great resource for people who are working with a specialist, too.

If you can't afford therapy
this

Book was very useful for me. It talks about the "feared consequence" of OCD. When you know your feared consequence you target your ERP around it. And yeah, changing the thoughts wont help.

I read your whole list and while I'm not too familiar with medication but it's good to hear you have access to Psychiatrist's. If the "voices" in your head aren't your "thinking voice" I would talk to your psychiatrist immediately. it won't hurt to at least check up with them. Just remember overcoming OCD is a long process and not a "smooth" road you might have set back, days that are worse than others, etc... I would buy this book by Dr. Jonathan Grayson Freedom from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder: A Personalized Recovery Program for Living with Uncertainty, Updated Edition https://www.amazon.com/dp/042527389X/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_jxOOBb3CJPEG0

It's the best piece of literature on OCD that I've read, you would think the author has OCD himself. It also gives you the tools to and shows you how to make your own recovery program. And if you have access to Psychiatrist's/ Therapists even better because you can work through it with them.

PS A general rule of thumb is to accept uncertainty and do the opposite of whatever your fear/obsession for example, "yeah, maybe the devil wants me to do this and maybe this makes me a bad/sinful person"

I would do the recovery program with a therapist I think that would be best.

Best of luck

-Dean

See but that's the problem with OCD. It is a slippery slope. What was once "good enough" can change and no longer be good because of one reason or another. The only way to help is to break the cycle and for the OCD sufferer to accept uncertainty into their lives.

This book is extremely helpful.

ERP is one of the most well studied psychotherapy treatments in general. It's the gold standard for the treatment of OCD. Jodi Aman doesn't include information about any training or license to provide treatment for OCD on her website. Though I didn't watch her video, judging from what you said, she doesn't seem to understand treatment of OCD very well. I also recommend this book: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/042527389X

Most clinicians using CBT to treat specific phobias, have a manualized approach--meaning they literally work out of a workbook and will likely have you use a workbook meant for the patient to keep.
I would start by getting one, perhaps like this: https://www.amazon.com/Agoraphobia-Workbook-Comprehensive-Program-Symptom/dp/1572243236/ref=pd_sbs_14_2/144-6929571-8112562?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_i=1572243236&pd_rd_r=12b14d46-2258-4f9c-ad4c-b0bbd1ff5c2a&pd_rd_w=Civq1&pd_rd_wg=T91Sl&pf_rd_p=d66372fe-68a6-48a3-90ec-41d7f64212be&pf_rd_r=EDVW1FRHK0QYG613PSRX&psc=1&refRID=EDVW1FRHK0QYG613PSRX


On a side-note, "Evidence-Based Practices" like CBT (or REBT) have been around for forever and have undeniably sound principles. However, more and more clinicians would agree today, that things like CBT function better as an intervention used within a psychodynamic psychotherapeutic approach, rather than a solitary modality. Evidence-Based Practice has really been capitalism's answer to public mental health--not necessarily deployed to solve problem, but to create and maintain a market.

CBT can teach your mind/body to protest less to feeling exposed, but it has no mechanism that helps you understand why you fear exposure. More significantly, your fear of exposure, at some point in your life, provided an essential protection to you (either physically or emotionally). That defensive strategy might be obsolete and unneeded in your present life--and therefore irrational or intrusive (as CBT would call it), but without understanding it, you risk removing a symptom without searching for the cause of the symptom.
CBT has a high success rate because it is operationalized with a very narrow definition of success. CBT for nail biting works well because people stop biting their nails. But nail biting is often a coping mechanism for anxiety--if the source of the anxiety isn't understood (which CBT doesn't do) then that symptom will certainly surface as yet another (perhaps, even more disruptive) undesirable behavior. [Edit: because I just woke up...]

Fainting is actually my root fear with agoraphobia, and it's never even happened to me. "Almost" did once, and that was the catalyst/trigger for my agoraphobia.

As I understand it, this is a pretty common fear among agoraphobics. Most of us have some "catastrophic" symptom we live in fear of that keeps us anxious and holed up. It may be specific like fainting or vomiting, or more ambiguous like "going crazy" or losing control.

Being abused to the point of passing out sounds like it must have been extremely traumatic and could easily have led to it being something your brain keeps going back to. It was your body protecting itself in that moment--it doesn't mean you're a "fainter." If you haven't fainted from severe pain (or being high, or anything else) since you were younger, you probably know how unlikely it is on a logical level.

What kind of therapy did you do? CBT would likely be really helpful, if you're not currently doing it.

This workbook https://www.amazon.com/dp/1572243236/ actually specifically addresses the fear of fainting in it, and it's more than just a blurb about it. The book is essentially a CBT/exposure "at your own pace" guide, I'd really recommend it.

This page (and entire website) is written by a doctor of psychology who specializes in anxiety disorders; it specifically addresses the fear of fainting also: http://www.anxietycoach.com/what-panic-attacks-can-do-to-you.html

Good luck. You're absolutely not alone. Get back into therapy and you can beat this!

The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook was great for me when I was dealing with PTSD as a teenager (and getting flash backs), my friend with anxiety post a brain injury also found it helpful.

If a work book alone isn't enough to help. And if you try all those other great tips in the thread. Have a look at Cognitive Behavioural Therapy and maybe eye movement desensitization and reprocessing therapy.

CBT should be easy to find via a free anxiety support group or a sliding scale therapist. The EMRD is really only a suggestion if you have some sort of extended benefits that cover insurance (since last I heard it cost something like 1500 dollars for seven hours of treatment).

CBT might help, with a work book like this. https://www.amazon.com/Cognitive-Behavioral-Workbook-Anxiety-Step/dp/1572245727

I would also look into gratitude journaling and building success spirals. Basically, set small tasks that you can succeed in that in turn lead to other tasks.

This is helpful, however woefully incomplete in methods for dealing with a major contributing factor for most chronic procrastinators: poor emotion regulation. This study gives an overview of a theory of procrastination that emphasizes the role of emotion regulation.

To that end, cognitive behavioral therapy methods can aid one's ability to regulate emotions and can be effectively learned without even going to therapy. There are free and paid workbooks that one can use to learn emotion regulation techniques. These techniques I think compliment the guide here, and better pinpoint the root cause of procrastination for many.

https://www.amazon.com/Anxiety-Phobia-Workbook-Edmund-Bourne/dp/1572248912

The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook

I would really recommend this it has provided an indispensable resource for me and has been used by multiple psychologists I have seen.

You mentioned the happiness trap there are plenty more books by Russ Harris which I have found really useful check out his catalog and see if any others pick your fancy.

https://www.amazon.com/Dare-Anxiety-Stop-Panic-Attacks/dp/0956596258/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1524132229&sr=1-1&keywords=dare

Dare: The New Way to End Anxiety and Stop Panic Attacks

This is very good and sets out a really simple approach to panic attacks.

A big resounding YES! The environment can make or break a person.
That being said there is no way of knowing how that environment would have affected you, yes maybe you would be a badass right now or maybe you would be a traumatized broken shell of a person, better to believe that things are better off how they turned out.

You still want to become hardened? You can make changes in your life to do so, become a social worker, learn some krav maga, travel or move to a different city whenever you can afford it, etc.

Wanna get rid of the anxiety shit? I recommend a combination of CBT or ACT therapy (look for a therapist who specializes or buy a book at amazon) and nootropics.

Good on you to realize everyone around you is just a whiny rich kid, that automatically makes you more hardened than them, so there you go.

I totally understand your rant. I have been in the same situation hugs. I recommend this book http://www.amazon.com/Anxiety-Phobia-Workbook-Edmund-Bourne/dp/1572248912 and possibly a therapist who specializes in anxiety.

and this book: http://www.amazon.com/Wherever-You-There-Are-Mindfulness-ebook/dp/B0037B6QSY/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1394415608&sr=1-1&keywords=wherever+you+go+there+you+are


Also, it helped me to do something that actually made me happy. Its hard when you are sort of just going to school and working because you aren't really living in the present.

When I used to live in a warm climate near the beach...that really helped because it was somewhere I loved to go and loved to be and I actually felt fulfilled. I'm stuck in frozen college land right now and I can't wait until I graduate.

As someone who struggles with anxiety, I suggest doing what I’ve started: invest time in digging out the root of your depression. IMO this sounds like a lot of self-talk, digging yourself into an idea of who you are or a problem you caused when in fact the issue is much more minute or even non-existent.

I’ve found cognitive therapy very helpful. It’s a great way to figure out a general prognosis of what kind of anxiety/depression you’re facing. You shouldn’t have to live your days cowering over this. I’m using this workbook currently and it’s already given me great insight as well as exercises while I search for a therapist. It may not be right for you, but perhaps a good start.

Hookup culture is full of expectations, but it sounds like you honestly got a cool dude. Don’t fret: based on your account of events you did a great job of pleasing him and making his night.

The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook by Dr Edmund Bourne is my favorite. It’s gotten me through many hard times.

https://www.amazon.com/Anxiety-Phobia-Workbook-Edmund-Bourne/dp/1572248912

Good luck on your journey. When I started mine, my anxiety was to high to join a group. Doctor recommended a workbook. Worked through it and it was great. Can't recommend it enough. Around $45. but seen it used for under $10.

The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook

https://www.amazon.ca/Anxiety-Phobia-Workbook-Edmund-Bourne/dp/1572248912

CBT changed my life rapidly. Sometimes just hearing your thoughts diffuses them.
I have been on almost everything, and I find celexa (citalapram) to have manageable side effects, but’s it’s still not great in terms of weight gain and fatigue. I’ve recently had a lot of success with CBD hemp oil (becoming legal in Canada soon).
Other than that, this is the best advice I can give :

1. Be kind to yourself. Anger, fear, and frustration makes it worse.
   
2. Exersize. Get your heart rate up 15 min a day doing literally anything . Listen to your body. Panic after caffeine, booze, or greasy food? Listen. Meditate. It’s not just for hippies.
   
3. Get the Anxiety and Phobia workbook
   
4. Know your triggers and SLOWLY force yourself to desensitize. I hate buses, elevators, getting dizzy, planes, etc.
   I shined lights in my eyes purposely to dialate pupils to cause alarm, but train myself that physiological responses are not cause for panic. I would take the bus for one stop, or the elevator one floor. Start small. Celebrate wins. I’m working up to getting back on a plane.
   
5. Nothing helping and you’re just having a good ol’ fashion panic attack? Breathe in enough to see your stomach rise. Become aware of your tension (neck, fists) and let go. I take a shower then turn it as cold as I can stand, the back to warm, then back to cold. Instantly works.
   No shower near? Hold ice. Pop an Ativan. Hug someone.
   I find panic is like a peanut allergy. If I let it get out of hand and have a massive meltdown, it gets worse each time.
   .

You have the classic symptoms of social anxiety. Start by gradually introducing new experiences into your life. You can begin slowly by visiting a store by yourself and not buying anything. You have to start somewhere so figure out your current comfort level and push it a little.

The second thing I would recommend is frequent exercise especially if you don't do any sports. An alternative activity to keep you busy (and make money) would be a part time job that would work around your school schedule. You have to think in a positive manner if you want to change your behavior. I have always considered myself socially anxious yet I started cashiering at a major grocery store chain today and I did fine. A few months ago the idea of interacting with 40+ new people each day would have sent me running in the opposite direction. Now I see it as a way to stay productive and make some extra money while I'm going to college.

I would recommend this book for tips on reducing anxiety naturally.

Feel free to respond to this or send me a PM if you want to talk. It would be cool to mentor someone that is around my age (I just graduated high school).

tl;dr Beating anxiety takes work but the payoff is worth it

Good for you for having the courage to post on here. As a fellow anxiety sufferer, absolutely exercise will help with symptoms. I highly recommend you get a copy of this book and work through it. It has great info not only on exercise but many other strategies you can use to help yourself. I can't recommend it enough, literally changed my life.

I think the Anxiety and Phobia Workbook by Dr. Edmund J. Bourne is crucial for anyone with anxiety. It has been so helpful for me.

It sounds like you need to focus on your anxiety, my friend. Learning to handle anxiety has a massive positive impact on people suffering from Emetophobia; for one thing, one of the more common symptoms of anxiety is nausea! That's one hell of a catch-22 right there.

If your employer covers it, I'd recommend seeing a therapist. It helped me tremendously, and you can start on some cognitive behavioral theapy (CBT). Failing that, the [anxiety and phobia workbook] (http://www.amazon.com/Anxiety-Phobia-Workbook-Edmund-Bourne/dp/1572248912) is a very good starting spot as well, and if you commit to working through it, you'll start to notice improvements.

I can tell you for a fact that it can, and if you resolve to work at it, will get better. I used to flee at the thought of someone feeling slighly ill, and last night was able to comfort my heavily nauseated girlfriend without too much jitterying and hand-washing. It's a slow progression, but it definitely gets better. Hang in there.

I'd love some input too being in a similar situation as well. I've been looking for a solution that doesn't involve medication because I don't want to screw up my body's natural hormone levels so I might end up buying this book; from reading the reviews it seems to have helped out a lot of people.

Yes! This! I've been using this (albeit slowly) but it's very easy to understand and helps a lot: http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/1572248912

You are supposed to slowly remove the armor. Instead of being afraid (this creates anxiety) of being pierced, learn to tolerate being pierced, learn to be ok with discomfort. It is a paradox: resistance to the discomfort is actually what makes it so painful, this increases resistance and creates a vicious loop of hypersensitivity and pain. Anxiety is a flavor of life. Learn to savor it.
I can recommend https://www.amazon.com/Mindful-Way-through-Anxiety-Chronic/dp/1606234641/ and https://www.amazon.com/Mindful-Path-through-Shyness-Mindfulness-ebook/dp/B0055PMSAU/

My therapist recommended this one to me:

https://www.amazon.com/Mindfulness-Workbook-OCD-Overcoming-Compulsions/dp/1608828786

I haven't used it much yet, but I can definitely see how it would be helpful for a lot of people. Might be worth a shot for you?

https://www.amazon.com/dp/1608828786/ref=cm_sw_em_r_mt_dp_U_GG7wDbQ7QJNQR

​

This book was given to me by my therapist, and has arguably helped me just as much as therapy. It's clear and includes so much useful information and tools for general OCD troubles and then also chapters dedicated to the main OCD themes(HOCD, germs, etc).

I would recommend this to anyone suffering from OCD.

Here's a bunch of books that will help:

• Mindfulness & Acceptance Workbook
  
  
• Anxiety & Worry Workbook
  
  
• CBT Workbook for Anxiety
  
  
• Anxiety & Phobia Workbook.
  
  If you really work through these books, you should make a lot of progress.
  
  I'd also encourage you to consider therapy. A good therapist would be able to help you tremendously with this issue.

This is a comprehensive guide to dealing with anxiety, written by a psychiatrist for people experiencing it.

As the other poster said, CBT has some basis in stoicism and there is evidence that it works for anxiety. It's worth getting a therapist, but you could get started in the mean time using this book which is recommended in the post I linked to.

I thought there was some evidence to suggest that things like mindfulness and meditation do actually physically change the brain and rewire it? Not sure if that's a medical fact or not but I googled rewire brain and found some books on Amazon, this one has good reviews. I think you need to search for terms like neuro or neural and plasticity.

The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook did the trick for me.

I had a period with no insurance and I used this to recover from some of my more annoying triggers.

The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook https://www.amazon.com/dp/1626252157/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_VC0uDbYYKPAPN

I took a family member to the ER because of an issue with anxiety. The counselor gave her a book recommendation and I bought the book for both of us.

https://www.amazon.com/Anxiety-Phobia-Workbook-Edmund-Bourne/dp/1626252157

Idk if this is what you’re looking for, but, if it is it came highly recommended.

My anxiety was dormant until I had my wisdom teeth out, I was so anxious about the whole thing it was the thing that sort of shook my anxiety loose and made it awaken.

Traumatizing events can do that, it sucks but it's not like you're some sort of outlier here, for me, for you, and for many others, anxiety becomes something that happens after a traumatic experience.

It took me a long time and a lot of work to be where I am now, but my advice to you is to start with this book.

From there, I think it will be helpful, if you aren't already to find a therapist, and meet with them regularly. For me, learning how to counter obsessive thinking, (for example, something is wrong with my heart / I fucked up and now I'm screwed) type of thinking. It starts with teaching yourself how to catch yourself in the act of ruminating / obsessively thinking. Once you can do that, then you practice learning how to counter your initial negative thought with something more reasonable.


Of course, it's one thing to type this out or to read it, and another thing to actually do it, which is where seeing a therapist can really help. For me, learning to just focus on my breathing when I would start to mentally spiral helped me put the brakes on panic attacks / things that would lead to them.


The sooner you approach these potential solutions, the sooner you will start feeling better! I really can't stress enough how helpful that book was for me in understanding my anxiety.

Anxiety is a mental health disorder and can be treated by therapy. Get a therapist instead of trying to figure out how to treat yourself with a bunch of lifehacks.

If that is not an option, get a book on how to treat yourself for anxiety that is recommended by actual professionals. Something like this.

I do think exercise and meditation are also very good ideas, but some kind of therapy should be your absolute top priority in life right now.

ETA: I'm inclined (knowing nothing about you outside of this post) to recommend that you go back to school immediately and take advantage of their counseling services.

Then there is no time like the present to get working on what's causing challenges for you!

A mental health therapist can definitely help point you in the right direction and be an effective support.

Also see:

Anxiety

Self-esteem

And Google a host of other resources that might fit what you're going through

The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook

This is a lifesaver and gives you practical techniques to work on your anxiety. This workbook works best in conjunction with therapy, exercising and eating right. All the stuff that they tell you to do that’s hard but works.

If you're worried about harming yourself or others, please go to the hospital.

I don't have immediate things you can do, other than calling your pdoc or a crisis line (or going to the hospital).

Also you can try drinking something cold or dunking your face in a bowl of ice water if you're feeling strong emotions or impulsive. Try breathing deeply and slowly.

I saw in another post that lamictal didn't work for you so your pdoc gave you wellbutrin instead. My experience with wellbutrin was that I was more impulsive and irritable, I took lamictal (mood stabilizer) with it, but that didn't curb the effects enough. I have a lot of anxiety, but I can't recall if that made it worse.

Drinking really interferes with meds, and on some you can't drink at all.

Have you called your pdoc yet and told them what's going on? Maybe they can also try a mood stabilizer other than lamictal?

It sounds like you're drinking to numb the anxiety, did you talk to the pdoc about the anxiety as well? I was prescribed gabapentin for anxiety, it helped, but unfortunately for me it had a weird side effect and I had to discontinue it

Also have you had bloodwork done to rule out other medical conditions?

I haven't tried this workbook for coping with anxiety, but I've heard it recommended and it may be worth a look https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/1626252157/

What helps me lower my anxiety is breathing exercises, mindful movement (yoga), and meditation. Also distraction (like what I'm doing now on reddit). Eliminating wheat from my diet also made a significant difference. My anxiety is still pretty strong sometimes, but better.

I'm sorry if this is all over the place, I just startled awake and I'm redditing till I mellow out enough and can fall back asleep.

Yes I went to a therapist and I have got better, in the mean time I would check out online professional help to online therapy


Working with a therapist is the best answer because it means that once you have the tools you can control and manage your OCD by yourself!

I would highly recommend this website

https://www.intrusivethoughts.org/blog/pure-o-an-exploration-into-a-lesser-known-form-of-ocd/

That website is really helpful in discussing lots of OCD topics

It helped me SO MUCH and made me feel so much better


And this book


https://www.amazon.co.uk/Overcoming-Unwanted-Intrusive-Thoughts-Frightening/dp/1626254346/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1535801531&sr=8-1&keywords=overcoming+unwanted+intrusive+thoughts

Please seek professional help it's the best way to help you.


You are young and if you try and get professional help and work through it the right way you will have the best chance and then can live your years in peace.


Look into Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP, EX/RP, or “exposure therapy”).

I recommend the DARE book. I suffer(ed) from anxiety and phobias - it's helped immensely. Nothing else worked (cbt, hypnotherapy etc).

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0158S7E1G/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1

Unfortunately, it also means cutting out various substances (including alcohol and caffeine), and adding some supplements such as calcium and magnesium.

Also - headspace app for mindfulness.

These two tools have been fantastic and life changing for me.

Good luck.

Do you have a kindle account? If not get one and read these books:

When Panic Attacks

Constructive Living

The Confidence Gap

The Dare Response

Just download the samples and see which one resonates with you most that you might like to read. Seriously potently life changing stuff. These have been invaluable techniques for me personally.

Greetings, fellow OCD sufferer. I was diagnosed with OCD three years ago, and my primary theme is moral scrupulosity. I know exactly what you're talking about, and can empathize. This article brought me a great deal of help.

http://www.ocdspecialists.com/real-event-ocd/

This book, along with therapy, greatly helped my life as well. Mindfulness and Stoicism go hand in hand. This book has a great section on moral scrupe . https://www.amazon.com/Mindfulness-Workbook-OCD-Overcoming-Compulsions-ebook/dp/B00H28YC98/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1500527937&sr=8-1&keywords=mindfulness+ocd+workbook

I can't speak for everyone, but for me it is very similar to perfectly normal feelings of nervousness or unease, but can be far more intense and can come on in situations where it is totally not normal to feel that way. The smallest things can play on my mind and however much I talk myself through the logic of the situation, however much I know that everything is fine, the feeling of dread just doesn't go away.

If you want to learn more about Anxiety and the experiences of someone with anxiety, I'd recommend reading Anxiety as an Ally by Dan Ryckert. It really helped me understand my own anxiety and what I was going through. It isn't a traditional "self-help" book as such, but more of an account of Dan's experiences with anxiety. He articulates it all far better than I can in a reddit reply, and it is on sale on kindle for like £3.50 at the moment for Mental Health Awareness Week. I definitely think it would help you understand her better. Disclaimer: I'm a volunteer moderator on the games site Dan writes/makes videos for. That's how I became aware of him and his book. I'm not shilling for him, the book genuinely helped me understand my own anxiety and I think it could help you understand what this lady you're close to is going through.

Just went to amazon.ca, and it is listed as CDN$ 6.41.

There is a lot going on here. But hang in there, I have a feeling that it will all turn out ok!


First of all, without being able to diagnose your mom, she seems like having huge anxiety issues. You seem ready to go NC with her (no communications). That might help. If there are a lot more going on with your mom, you might want to check r/raisedbynarcissists. They have tips to handle parents that are controlling and toxic.


Next, your anger. I just posted a reply to someone else, that you might want to check out:


https://www.reddit.com/r/Anger/comments/am05at/satisfaction/efid6ei?utm_source=reddit-android


There is also a sticky on anger in this sub:


https://www.reddit.com/r/Anger/comments/8fjgtz/some_practical_advice_for_dealing_with_an_anger/?utm_source=reddit-android


Lastly, you mention anxiety. Do you know what kind of anxiety you have? Have you been diagnosed formally?


Moving places, living in your car, and of course your mom's behavior can take a huge toll on your mental health. If you like to read, you can learn a lot about this condition and how to get better. Meditation, exercise, healthy living, etc. Some of these books are really amazing and can help a lot.



The Worry Trick: How Your Brain Tricks You into Expecting the Worst and What You Can Do About It https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0197SJP0G/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_V.bvCbV7ZY5H9


Short and results-based based



Dare: The New Way to End Anxiety and Stop Panic Attacks Fast https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0158S7E1G/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_EacvCb8797JJ2


Centered around a method to stop panic attacks and reduce anxiety



The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook 


https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/1626252157/ref=dbs_a_w_dp_1626252157


Very complete. Covers all the aspects, explains what happened in the body, and detailed ways to get better (meditation, medications, etc.)


I like the last one a lot. It's really a all-in-one approach. 18 bucks is like a a fifth of the price of a therapist appointment... Well worth the money overall lifetime. 


There are also subs on those that can help.


Good luck!

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00US3BR0G/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?ie=UTF8&btkr=1

This is one that I've been meaning to get to. It's written by a guy who works at the video game website Giantbomb. It has been reviewed pretty well, but I don't have an opinion on it yet.

Pretty sure it is this book. It is available through kindle unlimited for those of you with the subscription. 😀
[Dare: The New Way to End Anxiety and Stop Panic Attacks Fast (+Bonus Audios) Kindle Edition] (https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0158S7E1G/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1)

Happens all the time man. Its Adrenaline spikes.... Ive checked into or driven to the ER multiple times. This book changed things for me... https://www.amazon.com/Dare-Anxiety-Stop-Panic-Attacks-ebook/dp/B0158S7E1G

I have struggled a lot with anxiety my entire life. I've tried a lot of different things at different times. One thing that was immensely helpful for me at a very stressful time was the book Dare: The New Way to End Anxiety and Stop Panic Attacks. I recommend getting the audio version as well so you can just listen to the book (less effort than reading it when you aren't feeling well).

It's difficult to explain, but, I've used the techniques in the book to cure anxiety I had over very specific things in my life--think like, specific phobias. This was some years ago, and I actually got the information at the time from somewhere else, not from this book specifically.

Anyways, back to this book in particular: it employs the same techniques that were so very helpful for me in the past. I can't tell you how much they changed my life for the better. I don't know why, but I didn't realize that I could apply the same techniques to generalized anxiety and panic attacks, but that is what this book teaches you to do. You can really apply the techniques to any specific anxieties, or even to anxiety that you cannot pinpoint a source for.

I really hope you will consider getting the book! What have you got to lose, right?

(Also, if you do read the reviews on Amazon, a few people mention god in their reviews, but the book is not religious at all.)

Buy the book:

https://www.amazon.com/Dare-Anxiety-Panic-Attacks-Audios-ebook/dp/B0158S7E1G/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1511645063&sr=8-1&keywords=dare+the+new+way+to+end+anxiety+and+stop+panic+attacks

My wife swears by this book, Dare. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0158S7E1G/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1

Yes, you can treat yourself. That's what I did. Check out the book Dare: The New Way to End Anxiety and Stop Panic Attacks Fast. They have a FB group. Lots of people with OCD there.

Try to get as much help as you can. If you can only afford books, there are several out there. Brain Lock, Imp of the Mind, and Overcoming Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts were also helpful.

You have to diligently practice what these books teach you every day. It takes time to reprogram your brain but it can be done.

What you are experiencing sounds really awful and yet it's entirely normal. The basic principle of the brain is "what fires together wires together". When you had that very intense experience combining orgasms and suicidal thoughts because of medication, it simply made a literal connection in your brain. You can break it, and any good therapist can help you (doesn't have to be a sex therapist).

This can be treated like an OCD symptom where you are having intrusive thoughts triggered by a stimulus. There are great books on how to do this and I highly recommend them:

https://www.amazon.com/Overcoming-Unwanted-Intrusive-Thoughts-Frightening/dp/1626254346

https://www.amazon.com/Mindfulness-Workbook-OCD-Overcoming-Compulsions/dp/1608828786

Mind you, I'm not saying you have OCD, or any disorder. But your brain is "locked" in linking these two parts of your life in a very unpleasant way. There's absolutely nothing wrong with you and this could happen to anyone who was set off with nasty side effects of medication.

You may also approach this like an experience of Post Traumatic Stress, which can also show up with intrusive thoughts. Good resources for that exist too:

https://www.amazon.com/PTSD-Workbook-Effective-Techniques-Overcoming/dp/1626253706

https://www.amazon.com/Body-Keeps-Score-Healing-Trauma/dp/0143127748

You didn't do anything wrong and you can definitely get past this. The harder you try to fix a mental association the more you can strengthen it, so you need some techniques. Tools for OCD and PTSD are designed just for you in that regard.

I'd buy all 4 books and then find any good therapist to work through them with.

Good luck. I know with the right tools and practice you can separate these two aspects of your experience and get back to enjoying sex, which you deserve.

My wife and I are reading “Overcoming Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts” that may help guide you through this. Your OCD causes you to think so hard about this fear in so many ways that you’re almost creating a false memory. But, deep down, it feels like OCD, not reality. Here’s a link to the book:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/1626254346/

There are quite a few other good books on living with and moving past the miserable cycles so common for those suffering with OCD. I’d recommend you search on amazon for highly rated books and pick up a few that strike you as likely to be relevant and helpful. Worst case you’ve read an unhelpful book and you’re out maybe $15.

1.) If OCD is the correct diagnosis, this is an awesome paper that lays out the framework for how to look at symptoms...even if you are referring out.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3423997/

2.) For unwanted intrusive thoughts a few patients have liked the newer book
"Overcoming Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts: A CBT-Based Guide to Getting Over Frightening, Obsessive, or Disturbing Thoughts" https://www.amazon.com/dp/1626254346/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_jPJ2Bb4ZQ0TGR

(No affiliation with authors, just seems to be a great book to work through with client)

3.) Psychotherapy for OCD seems to be a specialty area with good reason as ex/rp has to be done very carefully. That said, I think more of us should be taking it on with appropriate supervision available as most intensive outpatient programs (that I've come across) do not address OCD and there is a shortage of providers in that niche

This book changed my life. https://www.amazon.com/Exercise-Mood-Anxiety-Strategies-Overcoming/dp/0199791007

My coworker's wife is a psychologist and she's been recommending Exercise for mood and anxiety : proven strategies for overcoming depression and enhancing well-being by Michael Otto and Jasper A. J. Smits, Mind over mood : change how you feel by changing the way you think by Dennis Greenberger and Christine Padesky, and The happiness trap : how to stop struggling and start living by Russ Harris and Steven Hayes

Personally, my go-to comfort books are Harry Potter and any of the Tortall series' by Tamora Pierce (though if you haven't read them before, I recommend starting with Alanna)

Buddhism can be considered a form of psychotherapy.

See : https://www.amazon.com/Wisdom-Insecurity-Message-Age-Anxiety/dp/0307741206

My daughter was born at 31+4 just like your son. We were in the NICU for 53 days. She is now 13 months and is completely caught up.

Based on the picture you posted, your little guy is doing great. To be off the nasal cannula and breathing unassisted at 6 days is quite an achievement!

One thing that helped us get through the first few weeks was kangaroo care and reading. My wife and I would take turns: I'd read while she held the baby, or she'd read while I held the baby. We read The Wisdom of Insecurity by Alan Watts, which helped us to realize that worrying about things that might happen, or fixating on the way things could have been were both pointless exercises in fantasizing about imaginary realities. It became a little easier to just accept the way things were and stay in the present as much as possible.

Enjoy the kangaroo time...it really is precious. A year from now your little bug won't stay put long enough to get a solid cuddle in.

Get the book. You'll be glad you did. (I am not kidding.)

I had severely debilitating Complex PTSD for nine years from 1994 to 2003. Comiing to grips with "As One Thinks so Shall One Feel." And How One Can Change All That. was the first order of business for me. Then I moved from the therapies in section 7a of this earlier post into those in section 7b... and then into those in section 7c. Now I'm at Choiceless Awareness for Emotion Processing.

"Progress, not perfection," and all that.

Have you read The Wisdom of Insecurity by Alan Watts? I mistakenly avoided it for a long time and now it's practically my bible. It's essentially a distillation of Buddhism: Watts' opinion on the human condition and how transcended ego experience is the cure. A great companion for meditation imo

This one is really good, I read it a few months ago and loved it.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0307741206?pc_redir=1405351634&robot_redir=1

The teeth stuff sounds really hard. If you haven't read it Jonathan Grayson's book has some advice about dealing with illness-related OCD...I can't remember it well enough to summarize it, but I remember he talks about tinnitus and other health problems. You might find it useful:

https://www.amazon.com/Freedom-Obsessive-Compulsive-Disorder-Personalized/dp/042527389X

>btw, tell her that she’s very brave for her actions. Dun think I’ll do the same in the same situation.

I try to remind her of her bravery as often as I can. You should say the same for yourself. I bet you'd be surprised what you're capable of in the moment. You face fears every single day.

“Bravery is not a feeling; bravery is how you behave when you are scared. You are among the bravest people I know.” - Johnathon Grayson

You should check out his book, Freedom from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and then let any of your friends or family borrow it who don't seem to understand what you're going through.

You're a tough cookie. I'm not scared. If I was, I probably wouldn't have the bravery to accomplish 1/10 what you can.

What kind of background do you have with exposure therapy? Are you looking to learn about it in general? Are you curious about how to approach it with a specific person in mind? I ask, since that might help point you in some good direction.

"Traditional" exposure therapy relies heavily addressing negative reinforcement (operant conditioning), with an emphasis on habituation. Having a solid understanding of how negative reinforcement fuels anxiety disorders is a fundamental starting place in this line of work. Since exposure therapy works by attempting to extinguish a fear response through habituation, understanding this process becomes important not only for your own knowledge, but for psycheducation to help your clients/patients understand why you want them to do the things you'll ask them to do (e.g., face their fears).

It's worth noting that the habituation model isn't the only way to approach exposure therapy. Michelle Craske's article on inhibitory learning provides some additional context on enhancing exposure work and offers some useful insights that move beyond the habituation model. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) provides another school of thought involving exposure work, but as that's outside of my area of expertise I'm hesitant to recommend books there. However, anything by Steven Hayes is bound to be a good way to learn more about ACT


Within the habituation realm, Exposure Therapy for Anxiety Disorders would be a good place to start, as it gives a broad overview of the concepts and begins delving into specifics.

Beyond that, however, my suggestion would be to focus on learning about exposure and response prevention (ERP), particularly for OCD. The concepts here apply to every other anxiety disorder (although certain adjustments need to be made in certain situations, such as patients with BDD or PTSD). OCD is simultaneously simple and complex to treat with ERP. The principles are straightforward (i.e., response prevention aimed towards compulsions, exposure aimed to obsessions and avoidance), but building and designing the appropriate treatment plans takes a solid understanding of both the process of ERP and a patient's individual symptoms. Two great places to start are The "Treatments That Work" book on OCD, which is part of the reading list for the International OCD foundation's Behavior Therapy Training Institute (BTTI), as well as Johnathan Grayson's book, Freedom from OCD, which I recommend to all of my patients with OCD.

/edit - spelling

That's a great book if you have the discipline to do ERP on your own. Some other good books are:
[Freedom from OCD] (https://www.amazon.com/Freedom-Obsessive-Compulsive-Disorder-Personalized/dp/042527389X) and Mindfulness Workbook for OCD. The nocd app is on ios / android and can aid you in your ERP at home.

It's been a lot of identifying triggers/fears, creating basic scripts and imaginal exposure scripts that I record and listen to on loops, and performing specific tasks that trigger my fears. The idea is that you perform the tasks or listen to the scripts until they get boring, and that desensitizes you to the fear. My scripts basically confront my worst case scenario and force me to accept that as a possibility. Its scary at first but once you've start to come to terms with the worst case scenario, you start to free yourself from it until it doesn't control you anymore. We are pretty much following the steps laid out in this book:

Freedom from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder: A Personalized Recovery Program for Living with Uncertainty, Updated Edition

You can do ERP without a therapist by following that book, but I found it was hard to come up with things to do for exposures-- I was too much stuck in my head -- and my therapist really helped with coming up with things to do and helped me with writing the scripts. I would recommend doing ERP under the guidance of a therapist, but the book is really comprehensive and worth reading even if you aren't seeing a therapist currently. Some of the chapters can potentially be triggering for some people, although I didn't find that to be a problem.

Yeah, I can definitely relate, because I also had that problem before I was able to finally find therapy. If you are down for it, there definitely are self-help ERP books that allow you to create your own exposure exercises. /u/accidental_warrior always seems to recommend Johnathan Grayson's books. He is quite an amazing and experienced OCD psychologist, so his book is always an option. Here is a link to the book: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/042527389X?pldnSite=1

Anxiety as an Ally by Dan Ryckert. It's weird, because it's from a video game journalist and podcast personality. My wife has Generalized Anxiety Disorder. She also read this book and, even though she didn't know the author, found it very relatable. It also taught me a lot about the disorder and how to react when my wife has panic attacks.

Try to pick up Cockpit Confidential by Patrick Smith - it puts most of the questions you might have about the actional flying bit in a easy-to-handle format and parlence.

I got it off amazon. Just started looking through it! Will let you know if it is helpful. http://www.amazon.com/The-Agoraphobia-Workbook-Comprehensive-Program/dp/1572243236

I'm not sure what your last sentence is referring to - are you saying it's why you don't want to get professional help?

If you don't want to see a therapist, start with the Anxiety Phobia workbook and do some exploring on your own.

For me, there's often something going on that triggers my anxiety, but I don't realize what it is. It pretty much always feels like it came out of nowhere and I have to do a lot of self reflecting to figure it out.

I see a therapist every other week. I'm on Celexa and actually currently coming off Lamictal (with side-effects even though I carefully planned how to come off of it with my therapist). I've learned all sorts of techniques for dealing with my anxiety and hoping I can eventually come off the Celexa. One big thing is learning the signs that an attack is coming, and that addressing it by thinking, breathing, relaxation, taking a walk, etc. I've tried many different meds and combinations, different therapists, etc. (over the past 13 years) Finally found a therapist that really helps me and a med that works pretty well (still takes lots of effort on my part). I also eat right and exercise at least five days a week, which has been incredibly helpful with my anxiety.

Your complaint is common with people who are more introverted and have a bit of anxiety. When one feels internal conflict, "should I say this or should I say that? What does this person want from me? What do I say?" this produces a feeling of anxiety and then the need to shut down. Introverts get drained of energy when confronted with interpersonal conflict. Extroverts often feel energized when interacting with others. This difference in energy, speed of response and emotional reactivity can lead to shut down. I recommend two books: The Introvert Advantage, http://www.amazon.com/dp/0761123695/?tag=googhydr-20&hvadid=2955432445&ref=pd_sl_46kzt5sadt_e, and The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook, http://www.amazon.com/Anxiety-Phobia-Workbook-Fourth/dp/1572244135. Both books will help you appreciate your different communication style, deal with the discomfort, and respond more effectively. Good luck.

Aside from going to your school advisors, which I definitely would recommend, there is some very good online counselling resources, as well as books. For online options:

https://www.talkspace.com
http://www.7cups.com
http://blahtherapy.com

For books, I've found the "Cognitive Behavioural Workbook" series which is based off of the cognitive behavioural therapy method that psychologists use for different problems. There are different books for different issues, but there's one for depression that I've personally used, and one for anxiety

Great job!

I had to commute this summer 45 minutes each way to my internship, and I had a few panic attacks on the road at the start but they slowly went away. One tip I've heard & used has been to turn up the radio & sing along loud to distract yourself, and I also started listening to podcasts in the car which is great because it's harder to tune out information/whatever you're listening to rather than music that maybe you've heard before.

Also, I don't know what it feels like for you, but sometimes I would get scared by anxiety-related chest pain on the road, but I eventually learned to just pull over somewhere safe, take a few minutes to take some deep breaths, recognize that I'm ok, wait a bit for it to go away and get back on the road...and treat that as 'ok' and not beat myself up like 'OMG I'm freaking out, something bad is going to happen.' Instead, just 'ok, anxiety came up, I handled it, I know that I'm actually OK, and I'm going to keep doing what I was doing.' The best thing is to not add layers to the anxiety by worrying about it.

Tangent: reading/doing this workbook really helped. http://www.amazon.com/Cognitive-Behavioral-Workbook-Anxiety-Step-/dp/1572245727/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1413363281&sr=1-2&keywords=cognitive+anxiety

Hmm, this is a tough cookie. My best bet for you would be congitive behavioral therapy. Here is a book that helped me. It's nice because it has useful information, and doesn't have that "self-help vibe" about it. You know, where the author uses exclamation points incessantly and states, "you can change now!!!!" Like a broken record. Yeah, this is definitely a book you want to check out.

http://www.amazon.com/Cognitive-Behavioral-Workbook-Anxiety-Step-/dp/1572245727/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1333320102&sr=8-1

It's unfortunate that our country doesn't provide us with therapy... disgusting actually. Mental illness is something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy, and not being able to mitigate it because you can't afford it is disgusting anyway you look at it. You have my best wishes bro. However, if I may recommend a book since you can't afford a therapist... THIS helped me. It's the next best thing to therapy.

The best way to overcome a fear is healthy exposure. This workbook has had a lot of success with psychotherapists and psychologists. If you can't afford it, look up things on cognitive therapy.

I'd highly recommend conquering your fears before starting any sort of nursing school. It wouldn't be in your best interest to start the process of being accepted into a school only to have to stop. Until then, if you don't have your prerequisites, go for those.

This is part 2 of the other reply. I separated it because the other was getting long and this will have a different flavor to it anyway. I'm trying to collect resources here that will act as the best substitute for what you will get in therapy that you can start using to make a difference now. I'm no expert of course, but I've been down a few of the same roads before and I at least know part of what they will tell you in advance :)

> Well I am extremely panicky about going downstairs as I really don't know my grandparents well. Also they don't like the food I cook (strong spices) so they make little comments. Also, I have a fear I have always had, of eating in front of people. Plus I can't stand eating noises. I can get food no problem, I always try to have some carrots and fruit in my room along with some bread, but it's not really a replacement for a home cooked meal. I also (irrationally) fear people judging me if I buy something.

These are the areas in addition to the anorexia where therapy will be the most beneficial. There are a few main things that therapy will provide for you, and some of them you don't have to wait for a professional to tell you to start getting benefits. The first thing you get in therapy is patient education. In your case, "What is anxiety, how often and in what ways does it affect people, and what treatments or strategies tend to be effective for managing this?", and "What is anorexia, how often and in what ways does it affect people, and what treatments or strategies tend to be effective for managing this?". It's dangerous to assume that just because you are personally experiencing these phenomena that you know the answers to these questions... In my case, my biggest struggle has been with depression, and even well into my treatment in professional therapy, I didn't understand that "feeling sad" wasn't even a necessary component of depression, and that really held me back for a long time from understanding/believing that depression was truly what I was going through.

To this end, I've gone and done some basic searching to find the reading that I would do if I were in your shoes. These are by no means the only or best resources, but given that I know very little about eating disorders, the random google search will tend to be far more practical and informative than it will be misleading:

http://www.recoveryranch.com/articles/eating-disorders/eating-disorder-your-life/

http://www.womenshealth.gov/publications/our-publications/fact-sheet/anorexia-nervosa.html

http://psychcentral.com/disorders/eating_disorders/

The second main thing that therapy will help you do is to learn how you interact with the world, and how your mind processes information it receives. In particular, most of these processes are invisible to us if we don't really slow down and learn to recognize the signs, and there are ways that they can go wrong, so that the information that reaches our conscious mind has been severely distorted as compared to objective reality. I want to emphasize here that there is no magic to therapy... it's pretty common in today's society to have this mental image of going into therapy and talking about your problems for an hour and then somehow the fact that you told all of this to a stranger suddenly makes you feel better. If that were the case I would tend to suspect such a person wasn't really in that much need of therapy in the first place. In my experience, the biggest gains from therapy come out of the work you do every day between sessions to change your mental state and environment. The professional guidance is important and useful to figure out where to focus your limited resources to have the most beneficial impact, and to help you understand what is and isn't genuine progress so that you don't fall prey to the traps of your own thinking, but the hard work is really done by you.

With that in mind, I think you might find some benefit from a good self-help workbook or two. The workbook aspect is key here, because a lot of the relief will come by actually doing the exercises recommended by the workbook, and answering the questions thoughtfully and learning about yourself during that self-reflection. These are the same things that therapy will generally ask you to do (although much more personalized and with other complicating factors taken into account), and I think you could expect at least some initial benefit. It will also help make the therapy sessions more productive once you are able to get to them, since you have some idea of what you are already trying to do, and the therapist will be able to help you understand the finer points more readily than if you are going in blind.

For anxiety and panic, the following two workbooks both come recommended by my therapist and my wife's (she also has panic attacks, though not as frequently now as before):

http://www.amazon.com/Anxiety-Phobia-Workbook-Edmund-Bourne/dp/1572248912

http://www.amazon.com/Panic-Attacks-Workbook-Program-Beating/dp/1569754152/

For the eating disorder, I suspect that something similar would be a good idea, but I unfortunately don't have any direct experience with this so I can't make any informed recommendations. The first book below is the most applicable that I can find that has reasonable reviews (although not as many as I would generally prefer), and the second is the most highly reviewed book that I can find about the relationship between food and emotions in general, but I think it tends to focus on overeating to avoid other emotional problems rather than a food disorder itself. This still could be helpful though because the relationship between food and emotions is always complicated, and a better understanding of this might help alleviate the fears you describe about weight gain and such.

http://www.amazon.com/The-Body-Image-Workbook-Eight-Step/dp/1572245468/

http://www.amazon.com/The-Food-Feelings-Workbook-Emotional/dp/0936077204/

That's a lot for now, I'll stop here and wait to see what you think of all this :)

There's therapeutical approaches that target people with multicultural backgrounds. If you're really struggling, I'd try to get diagnosed by a psych and then pursue sessions with a therapist who has experience with AAPI clients.

If that's too expensive and not worth your time, either the ACT handbook or the CBT handbook will do in a pinch.

https://www.amazon.com/Anxiety-Phobia-Workbook-Edmund-Bourne/dp/1572248912

I hope you have a therapist and psychiatrist you see regularly to help as well.

Okay, so, doctor's kind of know jackshit about derealization/depersonalization, partly because it can be classified pretty much under anxiety (though there are some cases that can be worse and the anxiety is the DP/DR).

What you should know right now is that acute anxiety is a precursor. Your mind is trying to tell you to slow down and relax. This means incorporating relaxation into your day (not just watching tv or something, deliberate relaxation) eating right, exercising, blah blah blah. Check out some of the chapters in this book https://www.amazon.ca/Anxiety-Phobia-Workbook-Edmund-Bourne/dp/1572248912 which you can find in ahem alternate places if need be.

It's great that you're feeling better! That's wonderful to hear! You really do need to listen to your body though. Go through this pdf and click off what you've been experiencing over the past month to see some of the signs of stress: http://www.baylor.edu/content/services/document.php/183434.pdf

It might happen again, maybe, but if you use even a little bit of this time to de-stress yourself, you'll be fine. Just, you know, listen to your body. Also, I'd say talk to a doctor if you're going through upperend moderate, high, or very high stress from the checklist.

Normal, and may still be helpful depending on the person you see. The first appointment is usually just an introduction but the therapist may give you an exercise to work on.

I highly recommend this book until then:

The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook https://www.amazon.com/dp/1572248912/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_YzFTBbHJTEYEK

The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook! So great. http://www.amazon.com/Anxiety-Phobia-Workbook-Edmund-Bourne/dp/1572248912

Hey there -- you might find this helpful The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook

It does sound to me like those are indeed panic attacks you're having. That book is quite practical (and it seems like you're looking for practical advice).

Good luck, I hope you find the answers. Do remember, though, that you're not alone.

saw this doctor last year for anxiety in kits: https://counsellingbc.com/listings/tgangopadhyay.htm
and she had some helpful advice for me. Talking to someone can really help put things into perspective.

I became a bit obsessed with this book: https://www.amazon.ca/Anxiety-Phobia-Workbook-Edmund-Bourne/dp/1572248912 which is helpful but can also be overwhelming if you try to fit in all the reccomendations.

I also noticed your name is "coffeemanic" one of the biggest things you can do to decrease anxiety symptoms is cut out caffeine. If you're a big coffee drinker i would reccomend cutting back and seeing how you feel.

Hope you can get the help you're looking for :)

I relied on cognitive and behavioural therapy (CBT). Try and find a therapist that's trained in that. I also used this book (https://www.amazon.com/Anxiety-Phobia-Workbook-Edmund-Bourne/dp/1572248912). In times where nothing worked then I took benzos but never during the tww or when I was pregnant since it's a Class C drug.

Edit: Word

You may want to try out MoodGYM for now. It's an Australian site that offers some free CBT help. It may be better than nothing while you wait. I have found The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook helpful in the past before I had access to a therapist.

> Edit: Is it normal to be anxious about the near future for nearly everything?
Depends. If it's disabling to you, probably not. There are many ways to try to lessen that. From websites etc. on meditation, to the Anxiety and Phobia Workbook online. Personally I'd recommend talking to a counselor (school maybe?)

I have panic disorder & anxiety too. Sometimes my boyfriend goes running and I want to join him, but I hate the idea of him seeing how out of shape/sweaty/jiggly I am. A few years ago, a friend of mine gave me a copy of The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook & it's my go-to recommendation now.

Oh, & I'm a west coaster too, I just moved from the east, so I'll see ya in the evenings :)

Before you start meditating, I highly recommend starting with this book. The beginning aims to help you better understand your anxiety and then branches off to different exercises you can do depending on severity or situation that can help calm and relax you. If you make a daily habit to perform the exercises, you'll see a reduction in anxiety symptoms. It may also help you get a better handle on yourself; awareness of your body and mind is obviously a good thing to have and I'm sure you'd be very relieved to be able to, at some point, anticipate oncoming anxiety symptoms before they cause extreme discomfort and distress.

The book contains some different breathing exercises you can practice that will help you form the basis for controlling breath easily and calmly in meditation. After you get accustomed to this practice, you can also use the breathing when you're in any trying situation that can bring your heart rate or jitters up.

This has, of course, been my experience, but the book has been highly rated on Amazon, and I'd seen it recommended several times before I finally picked it up. It's given me real skills I can use and practice with to deal with my anxiety and panic. I've also found that a lot of meditation instruction isn't suitably tailored for people like you and I. It will tend to be highly vague, steps will seem to be missing; almost like they think whoever is reading/listening already kind of "get it" and can plunk down and follow them from the get-go. Nope, not that easy for us!

I'd also like to recommend Wildmind. They offer practical, easily-digestible instruction and information on meditation; I really feel like I finally "got" meditation after reading their articles. Just start there on the linked page from the beginning where you start with posture I think and then move on to other practices.

There are also so many different ways to meditate, and I know all this different information is probably making your head spin. I hope you find my advice helpful and simple enough, it took me years to compile it, to find what was right for me! It's my wish to make things easier and more accessible for people like you and I, because, as you know, anxiety blows. Good luck!

I feel you. This happened to me so many times, but with each relationship I was able to recover a little bit more of myself and establish more of my own boundaries. The fact that you have realized it is getting you much closer to those relationships that you want to have! Nice work.

This is what I would recommend; TLDR, it is very important to take care of your self and your esteem. After this, all will follow. I wrote a gigantic post because what you've described above is pretty much what I've been battling against most of my life.

Self-care

1. Do you like yourself? What do you like about yourself? Try celebrating this every day, or whenever you can. Doesn't have to be every day.
   
2. Make a bucket list. What are the things you want to do by the time you die? This could literally be anything; my bucket list includes items like "master a particular skill" and "have an orgy". Doesn't have to be "serious", it's just what you want to do with you life.
   
3. Spend time dressing yourself up. Find clothes that make you feel good, make you feel attractive. Pay attention to your body. If you haven't updated your wardrobe or your hair in a while, try and do those things. Find some kind of exercise that you enjoy, and try and stick with it: it will make a change in your body before long! If you have problems with nutrition, do some reading and figure out where you should make dietary changes.
   
4. Try to revisit your hobbies, or any kind of thing that makes you feel happy; relaxing, sitting on a park bench on a nice day, etc. etc. Doesn't matter if it is "time wasting", just that it makes you feel good. Do anything that gets you back into your body: take a nice shower or bath, breathe deep, take a walk.
   
5. Think about whether, in addition to co-dependency, you may also be battling either anxiety or depression (if you were raised by a narcissist, chances are high). Do some reading, I recommend these two books: http://amzn.to/1pipLrF ESPECIALLY, also http://amzn.to/1zfgOnb Both books teach you about self-care, managing your boundaries and emotions, and breaking out of familiar patterns. I found the co-dependency book relevant even though I'm not a person who is actively trying to control other people; I still had the other behaviors, like taking care of people too much.
   
6. Read Alice Miller's The Drama of the Gifted Child (available free here: http://bit.ly/1gJPQPk). This book is about how kids raised by narcissists generally have a lot of trouble seeing themselves and seeing their own needs. They construct a false self for their parents, and then learn that the false self -- nice, accomplished, supportive, always there, without expressive impulses (including "negative" emotions like anger or boredom) -- is more valued than their True Self -- i.e. who they are, as a human being, with their complete range of emotions, impulses, and desires for expression.
   
7. Learn about how to communicate assertively.
   
8. Learn to not apologize for existing, for taking up space, having needs. There's nothing to apologize for you, because you are, you are a human with Maslow's hierarchy like all the other humans!
   
9. Do things for yourself every day, just because you want to do them.
   
10. Make sure you're getting adequate sleep, food, exercise, sunlight.
    
    
    Now, as for setting boundaries:
    
    1.) Hang out with the friends that you like (or mostly like). Think about why you like them.
    
    2.) Think about moments where your friends do things that make you feel uncomfortable. Don't dismiss your feelings, explore them. Examples:
    
    

• Friend seems like she only wants to hang out whenever she decides.
  
• Feeling third wheeled by two or more friends.
  
• Always letting others decide activities because you don't think they will value yours.
  
• Friend does something which makes you angry, or says something that makes you feel uncomfortable (like hitting on you, or maybe making an off color joke, or condoning something you don't like)
  
• Feelings of tagging along, or side kicking, or taking care of other people
  
• Feeling like you have to be the "loyal" one
  
• Being made to feel guilty, or pressured into an activity; being made to feel like your time is less important
  
  3.) Think about why these moments (or others) make you feel uncomfortable. Maybe make a list of past moments. Think about what you would do if you were being assertive -- not aggressive, but accurately and forwardly communicating your feelings.
  
  
• Suggest activities to your friend who wants to control the situation/only wants to hang out when she decides; if she declines, or continues to act uninterested, be up front on how her behavior makes you feel.
  
• If feeling third wheeled, hang out with different friends. There are other people around, and it is definitely hard to expand social structures, but it's possible!!
  
• Make a list of activities that you prefer, and then propose them. If your friends aren't interested, find a meetup for people that are interested in those kinds of things, and then do them! You will find one or two people that you like.
  
• Tagging along, or side kicking: remember that you are valuable. Take value in yourself. Don't hang around with people who may see you as less; meet new people and then set boundaries with them. I.e. if they are late to things and you don't like lateness, let them know that you are a little upset. If they treat your personal possessions with disrespect, let them know it. If they make assumptions about you that are wrong, or say things to put you down, let them know it and that you do not like it. Doing this helps set healthy boundaries with people for the future, and sets up respect. When people need your compassion later, for the REAL issues, you can be there to take care of them. But in the meantime, no need to be their butler or the ever sympathetic person. And if they try to make you feel bad about asserting yourself or having these feelings, rest easy, laugh at their behavior, and find other friends.
  
• Friends who do or say things that make you angry or uncomfortable: confront them about it assertively, as soon as it happens. Don't be nervous about it: if you are concerned that this person will threaten physical violence, then I wouldn't be friends with them anymore. Don't worry that they will leave you: if they leave you, oh well! You still have Team yellowpencils. Team yellowpencils is who you have now and it's who you will have until you die, and it's the most important team in the world. Learn to love your team and always be on your own side. (For the nitpickers, this doesn't mean turn out to be a sociopath or never know when to own responsibility for one's actions and mistakes; just that you must, at the end of the day, love and care for yourself).
  
• Feeling that you have to be the "loyal" one: forget this feeling. If someone is manipulating you and putting you down, while still asking for your sacrifices, tell them how they make you feel and then, most likely, leave. People like this assume you're easy to victimize, or will never confront them. You have more power than you know.
  
• Feeling pressured, being made to feel guilty: no one has a right to your time above and beyond you. You don't owe anyone an explanation for wanting to spend time by yourself or to do activities with other people. If someone wants you to do something which is against your personal code of ethics, remember that the social costs of doing so are most likely outweighed by the personal benefits of staying true to Team yellowpencils.
  4.) Consider ending friendships with people whom you really like (for their personality, for instance) but who obviously do not value your time or do not respect you as a person.
  
  
  Making NEW friends:
  
  1.) My personal strategy is, follow the energy. If I am getting positive vibes from people; if I am enjoying their company without feeling compromised; if there is a give and take in the relationship from BOTH sides; I continue it. If there is not, I drop it quietly before I'm in the friendship/relationship too much.
  2.) If you are noticing old patterns show up in new friends:
  
  
• try and recognize old patterns, first off.
  
• Try to figure out where the other person is bending or crossing boundaries. Think about what kind of person you're being routinely attracted to: do they look like your narcissistic parent? Remember that in order to get new friends, you do NOT have to offer a "perfect" friendship where you are never mad and always attending to their needs.
  
• Start calling out these new friends on their bullshit earlier: you just may turn the relationship around.
  
• Move on: If you feel like this person may just be too similar to past narcissistic friendships, or they are crossing too many boundaries, even though you have tried to talk to them about it.
  
• Try and act like how you want to be treated from day one. This doesn't mean, waiting to call someone out on their bullshit until you know what to expect from them: this means doing it immediately. Your survival skills that you learned from your narcissistic parent, like controlling your feelings now, observing, waiting, hiding, confronting when things are "safe" (let's be honest, they were never safe) are no longer necessary, because you are in a new phase of your life where survival no longer has to be the top priority: your happiness is.
  
  3.) Accept good will. Wherever someone wants to support you, or help you, and you're getting the good energy vibes: be not afraid, explore this a bit. Learn to extend your trust to someone who wants to help. People get quite a bit from helping others out. Let someone help you for a change.
  4.) Act in a friendship how you want to act, not how you think others will like. You'll meet people who like what you are, that you never expected! Accept that not everyone will like who you are or will like your choices.
  5.) Sometimes you're still gonna get burned.
  
  Since I've made the above changes, I've been happier and have seen a definite increase in the quality of my relationships and the quality of the people I meet and hang out with. I have a better sense of my own boundaries and sense of self. That isn't to say I've totally battled away anxiety or depression, or falling for narcissistic relationships: just have to keep my focus and keep working on my self-care. The more I practice this stuff, the more it becomes instinctual; this will be true for you too.
  
  Hope this helps!

Just so you know, you don't need to struggle through wait lists or high costs to get effective treatment.

The research on anxiety interventions suggests that self-help books that take you through the steps of CBT are just as effective as individual interventions with a practitioner.

The book that is usually recommended to people suffering from anxiety is The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook , which can be found at most of the libraries in Halifax.

However, if you cannot motivate yourself to work through a book like the one I've mentioned, working with a psychologist would be best. You will need to contact Capital Health and get a choice appointment, which will triage you into an intervention strategy. Most likely, you will be placed in a group for social anxiety that will meet every few weeks at the clinic on Bayers road.

Alternatively, you could seek private help. There are a significant number of private psychs in Halifax and there isn't really an effective way to determine who would be a good match for you. This is why the choice appointment is used in the public mental health system.

When I discussed meditation with my therapist she actually recommended 'The Mindful Way through Anxiety' before I started, as many people with anxiety can get overwhelmed and quit early. I highly recommend the book!

http://www.amazon.com/Mindful-Way-through-Anxiety-Chronic/dp/1606234641
http://www.amazon.com/Mindfulness-Acceptance-Workbook-Anxiety-Commitment/dp/1572244992/

I worked with a grad student finishing her Phd in psychology for one year. I'd been incorrectly diagnosed with OCD for 25 years and put on medication & therapy. She properly diagnosed me with OCPD and we used a process of mindfulness to treat it. I had the luxury of being retired and was able to devote my efforts full time to this. One year and 22 sessions later my anxiety & OCPD behaviors dropped away and no more meducations. I'm still amazed and practice mindfulness daily.

We used this book as the basis for treatment: https://www.amazon.com/Mindful-Way-through-Anxiety-Chronic/dp/1606234641

It doesn't really matter what you officially call it. The labels are there so people have something to refer to it in discussion, but honestly every anxiety disorder is kind of on a spectrum. There's no real clear cut diagnosis for anyone. If you're suffering, you're suffering. That psych you saw that dismissed your concerns sounds not very helpful.

It's good that you're actively seeking someone to help you though. While you're waiting to get in to see someone, I'd suggest getting a few books to educate yourself about anxiety disorders in general as well as OCD. Some of my favorites are:

• The Mindfulness Workbook for OCD
  
• Hardwiring Happiness
  
  Also check out Mark Freeman's videos, he posts in this forum sometimes. His videos have been extremely helpful for me.
  
  Good luck!

As a diagnosed OCD sufferer who has learned over five years to "tune it out," let me provide you with some resources to help while you're locating a therapist. I'd recommend mine, but he's in Orem.

This book brought me a great deal of relief, and I review it off and on when I need a refresher in managing my OCD. It covers most of the major themes people experience: https://www.amazon.com/Mindfulness-Workbook-OCD-Overcoming-Compulsions/dp/1608828786/ref=sr_1_3?crid=2FJ9LNLQMV2IT&keywords=ocd+mindfulness+workbook&qid=1564633924&s=gateway&sprefix=OCD+mindfulne%2Caps%2C190&sr=8-3

​

For general depression, I recommend this. I'm not being hyperbolic when I say that it saved my life: https://www.amazon.com/Happiness-Trap-Struggling-Start-Living/dp/1590305841/ref=sr_1_1_sspa?keywords=the+happiness+trap&qid=1564633982&s=gateway&sr=8-1-spons&psc=1&spLa=ZW5jcnlwdGVkUXVhbGlmaWVyPUEyWEVXMFNMWVFMWVZFJmVuY3J5cHRlZElkPUEwNzg4OTU0MTdNRFBBNTBaUzNNOCZlbmNyeXB0ZWRBZElkPUEwNzE2MDU5M0c1ODdLTkxONUZaMyZ3aWRnZXROYW1lPXNwX2F0ZiZhY3Rpb249Y2xpY2tSZWRpcmVjdCZkb05vdExvZ0NsaWNrPXRydWU=

​

I have a few copies of each of these books, and if money is tight, I would be more than happy to give them to you, just shoot me a PM.

​

Hang in there! Easier said than done, I know, but in time, you'll learn to observe your thoughts and ride that wave!

Came back to reddit just to reply to this. I was diagnosed with OCD two years ago this week; however, looking back, it's been with me my entire life. Three things that helped me in my journey:

1. Getting my therapist. Could NOT have navigated this hell without him.
   
   
2. Understanding spouse who, once there was a name to the hell that I was putting her through, beefed up on her knowledge about the disorder and learned how to help me from her end.
   
   
3. These books (sorry, I don't know how to do the text link).
   When a Family Member has OCD: https://www.amazon.com/When-Family-Member-Has-Obsessive-Compulsive/dp/1626252467/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1467567451&sr=8-1&keywords=when+a+family+member+has+ocd
   
   OCD and Mindfulness Workbook (same author as above): https://www.amazon.com/Mindfulness-Workbook-OCD-Overcoming-Compulsions/dp/1608828786/ref=pd_bxgy_14_img_2?ie=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=81XPS9FC6H9SJF7M30BH
   
   Please, encourage her to get back to therapy, and get your hands on those books if possible.
   

I know you're in a bad place right now and here's an Internet hug from someone who understands your pain. Unfortunately, 'success stories' are probably not what you need right now. That would be reassurance seeking and is something that keeps OCD episodes coming back. It teaches your mind that 'when I'm feeling bad I need to find new information to make myself feel in control again'. It gives temporary relief but only reinforces the same patterns. I recommend reading the following book to get you started: https://www.amazon.com/Mindfulness-Workbook-OCD-Overcoming-Compulsions/dp/1608828786/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1474416036&sr=8-1&keywords=ocd

Then I'd say find a good ERP therapist who will help you make sense of all the confusion in your mind. The book in particular has some great exercises that will help you prepare yourself for the ERP sessions.

Finally, whether your thoughts are from OCD or genuinely how you feel, you are not a bad person. Actually if you could step outside of your own mind right now, you'd be able to see that what you're going through is simply part of the human experience. Especially in the 21st century where so much importance can be placed on romantic relationships, our peculiar ideas of love and the black/white views of society around us.

I'd say if you haven't already, read the book. It's written by someone with far more experience on the topic than any of us hanging out here in the subreddit (though not to take away from the wisdom and anecdotes we can share). Then, find a good ERP therapist in your area. That's plenty of homework to keep you busy for a little while :)

That’s terrible that you are not being given any resources. If you want to do some reading, here are some absolutely essential books you need to check out:
https://www.amazon.com/Everyday-Mindfulness-OCD-Tricks-Joyfully/dp/1626258929

https://www.amazon.com/Mindfulness-Workbook-OCD-Overcoming-Compulsions/dp/1608828786

My wife lives with ocd (the real kind, not the cutesy sitcom kind that people toss around) and these have helped a lot, in addition to some good therapy. There’s also an ocd subreddit that might be of some help. I hope you can find some good care off campus, with someone who knows what they’re doing.

I think if you are consciously and deliberately trying to avoid compulsions, that's great! You are already doing better than half of this sub.

That said, making mistakes is normal and human. Don't beat yourself up for giving in into a compulsion. After all, it's a human instinct to avoid anxiety.

By all means, keep avoiding doing compulsions (don't avoid obsessions / what causes your anxiety). Definitely be proud for what a step you took, but also try to avoid giving in to "fixing". But don't beat yourself up too much, just keep making a lot of effort consistently.

Consider trying self-directed ERP: https://iocdf.org/expert-opinions/expert-opinion-self-directed-erp/

Get yourself a couple of books on ERP/CBT:

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1608828786/

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1572249218/

Doing ERP feels like torture, but it's pretty effective. From the tone of your post, it sounds like you could do it on your own (i. e. without a therapist). So you could probably get better.

I do have advice. It sounds like you are in a good place and the (MASSIVE FUCKING DOUBT) monster isn't in your voice. When some people talk about OCD, they talk with the voice of the doubt. You are giving clear examples with a pretty objective view of your thoughts from the outside. Those thoughts sound like they really suck, however, they are only half of the problem. Without compulsions, the intrusive thoughts have no food to grow. So, I know it sounds hard, over even down right impossible, but I want you to tell yourself, when you are in these moments (I have a knife and I'm gonna fucking stab him or go slow so you don't break your neck) that you just notice what your brain is telling you and you say the phrase in your head "I'm having the thought that ___."
When we label our thoughts as what they are, thoughts, and we don't give them meaning (no matter how much they tell us they mean something), we give our brain room to observe thoughts and then make a choice about what will happen next. Right now, your OCD says "jump" and you say "I'm already jumping." Next time your brain says "jump" say to yourself "I'm having that jump thought again, that's interesting" and then go do something regular (like dishwashing or pooping or TV). Here is a great book about this that you can bring to your therapist or do on your own.

http://www.amazon.com/Mindfulness-Workbook-OCD-Overcoming-Compulsions/dp/1608828786/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1417494705&sr=8-1&keywords=mindfullness+workbook+for+OCD

I found this book really helpful during my deconversion
https://www.amazon.com/Mindfulness-Workbook-OCD-Overcoming-Compulsions/dp/1608828786/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=

I have gone through exactly what you are going through, the most important thing is to remember you are not alone.

The important thing is to separate the thoughts from the feelings. I was also in a place where I would feel anxious around men and my attraction to women had lowered, so I put 2+2 together despite never finding men sexually attractive/never fantasising about men. How to overcome this is to embrace uncertainty. To just allow the feelings to just be there and not to try and overanalyse them. You sound like me, so wrapped up in your insecurities that you are overthinking your every move and you can't see straight. Take some time to just allow the feelings to be feelings and you'll feel better.

The most important thing you can do is see a therapist right now. It will be the best decision you will ever make. I know this is hard to hear but you have to stop using the internet as a checking source. Stop looking for solace in reading coming out stories or posting on forums like this and most importantly, stop analysing every feeling you have.

If for whatever reason you can't see a therapist (or to supplement your time with them) I recommend this book:
https://www.amazon.com/Mindfulness-Workbook-OCD-Overcoming-Compulsions/dp/1608828786/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1501734947&sr=8-1&keywords=mindfulness+ocd

If you have any questions or you'd just like to chat, I'm here for you. You can PM me.

Good luck.

Agreed.

 

Also, while finding help^^1 maybe check these out:

• The Mindful Way Through Depression: Freeing Yourself from Chronic Unhappiness
  
  
• The Mindfulness Workbook for OCD: A Guide to Overcoming Obsessions and Compulsions Using Mindfulness and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
  
   
  
  [1] The above can't replace what /u/Gullex suggested, but since you may need all you can get your hands on, it probably couldn't hurt to just take a look.

Fair enough. In that case, you might check out this book, which synthesizes several approaches for intrusive thoughts and OCD that are helpful for a lot of people.

The reason I'm mentioning these solutions instead of hypnosis is there's very little objective evidence hypnosis is helpful for OCD, whereas these other approaches have been shown to be helpful.

Also, I'm not saying this is the case for you, but I think some people are interested in hypnosis as a treatment because it seems easier or less emotionally demanding -- just sit back and go into trance, and let the hypnotist fix you. This isn't actually the case, though. Hypnosis demands active participation from hypnotist and subject, and can be just as emotionally and mentally challenging as other treatments. Which isn't at all a criticism of hypnosis. But if you're going to commit to doing some mental and emotional work to improve your symptoms, you might as well start by investing that work in the approach with the best chance of success.

I did not try strict CBT, no, but there were elements of it incorporated in my two years of therapy. A friend of mine also sent me her CBT workbook from when she went. I went to a therapist who specialized in art therapy before I knew what CBT was, though. I have also heard a lot of good things about it, and if I end up need to go again I'll look for a CBT specialist for sure.

Most of my coping strategies involve rationalization, exposure therapy and distraction (lots of crafty projects to get my hands on). One book I found very help was "How to Rewire the Anxious Brain."

I also tried a hypnotherapist for one session, though I'm not sure how much it helped. :)

ETA: I forgot! EXERCISE! I have not been keeping up with my 5-day a week exercise since it's gotten so hot out. I can feeeeel it. It's terrible. I've decided if I have to do it at 9 p.m. when it's cooler, then I just have to do it. It helps so much to burn off the sort of 'nervous energy.'

Ugh, this happens to me a lot too. It's something ive been working on. I have found this book to be pretty helpful if you're interested: http://smile.amazon.com/Rewire-Your-Anxious-Brain-Neuroscience/dp/1626251134/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1451957153&sr=8-1&keywords=rewiring+your+anxious+brain

It details how anxiety works in the brain and why it reacts so strongly to situations like this.

I'm so sorry you are feeling this way. I don't know if it helps or hurts to hear this, but ny intention in saying is is to give you hope: "It will very likely get better."

I remember being your age and sitting in the instrument room of the band room because it was black and dark and no one could see me. I had only one friend, and had been through some very serious traumas. I remember my teen years as the hardest, most self-destructive years of my life. Somehow, when I became old enough to start determining my own course in life instead of doing what I was forced to do each day with people with whom I had nothing in common, things improved. And not just a little, a lot.

Your parents are thrilled you are their son. I have six children now and I have helped five of them through adolescence. It can be a very stormy time. If I knew my son or daughter felt as you did, I wouldn't hate them....I'd have compassion and move heaven and earth to help you.

Regading sex and nudity: one of my daughters felt as you did, so she determined she was not ready and did not engage in those activities. Now as an adult, she is about to get married and is very excited. It has taken her almost 30 years to get comfortable with herself. It's ok not to feel ready for that stuff. I don't think you are! So instead if scaring yourself about it, just table it for now. I wasn't ready then, either, and many are not.

I hope you wil consider that maybe you might be really hard on yourself, and talking to yourself very negatively. Maybe, instead, imagine that your inner voice is that of a best friend in emotional pain. How would you encourage that best friend? And then only allow yourself to self-dialog in a way that is positive and encouraging. Your current cycle of depression and anxiety might actually be the cause your getting worse again. How about becoming your own best friend, instead of your own accuser? Someone needs to be kind to you, and it is you.

You have great worth and merit because you are a beloved person. Don't let this time of awkwardness cause you such misery. It does pass. It can pass. You can overcome this.

Have you heard about the book, the anxiety and phobia workbook?

"https://www.amazon.com/Anxiety-Phobia-Workbook-Edmund-Bourne/dp/1626252157/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1485114500&sr=8-1&keywords=anxiety+and+phobia+workbook,

It is only $13 at Amazon. I hope you might be able to get it and see if the methods detailed there might help. I got these for two of my kids who struggled with similar things. Not to the same degree, (but pretty severe anyway), and both seem to have developed coping mechanisms that are much more positive, and have found healthy relationships and jobs. It came a little slower to them, but they did get there. You can too.

If you want a friend somewhere, please feel free to write to me. I don't mean to trivialize your feelings in an yway. I've been through terrible trauma and I understand how much it hurts if you feel or think people just don't understand. I only want to give you hope that it will very likely get better. I do think it will probably take some adjustments on your part. But I know you can do it. People post all the time about how they have overcome these type of challenges. You can be one of them.

Hey there! I'm sorry you're struggling. -hugs-

There's a few skills you can use, I hope one of these helps you.

When you check the facts, there's a bunch of questions you can ask yourself. You may be asking yourself these questions already but I'll just recap some of them (there's a bunch of these types of fact checking questions if you wanted more.)

1. What is the evidence for and against this? (make a list if it helps)
   
   
2. Has this been true in the past? (ie: has it happened before?)
   
   
3. What are the odds of this really happening (or being true)?
   
   
4. Would my best friend agree?
   
   
5. Am I overgeneralizing from a past occurrence? (I'm feel like this is where a lot of your anxiety is coming from and perhaps this is incorrect)
   
   
6. Are there other explanations beside what I think this is?
   
   
7. Is thinking about the situation making it worse or better?
   
   
8. Am I being fully objective?
   
   
9. Is the situation really in my control?
   
   If after you've gone through these questions, the facts say otherwise but you still feel like it's true, then the next step is distress tolerance
   
   When we have anxiety, fears of specific phobias we are sensitized to the particular situation, object or event. We have paired the feeling of anxiety with a particular event because it caused anxiety in the past, so now each time you have the similar event or situation, you feel anxious. (excerpt from 'The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook')
   
   It sounds like most of your jealousy is being driven by worry /anxiety. In which case opposite action is the skill you want to try to employ. By confronting or accusing him each time (with no proof of actual infidelity for example) you are fueling your worry, and keeping your fear alive. You might find that writing your fears down, (either pen to paper or online) in a journal may help to release some of that anxiety. If you do opposite action and you are still having distress, go back to distress tolerance activities.
   
   You and your boyfriend may also want to try to use fair fighting techniques when you do get into disagreements. Print it out if it helps.
   
   The reality is (and I know this can be hard.) You have no control over another person's actions. You can only control your own. I know that when someone hurts you, it's very difficult to not carry that hurt and assume that others are going to do the same thing. You are trying to change it's great that you are. I applaud you for working on it.
   
   Keep moving forward as best as you can. If you get stuck on this, you might want to seek professional assistance with a counsellor/therapist (if you are not already seeing one)
   
   

• Additional links about overcoming jealousy
  
  
• CBT workbook for anxiety / low mood (has a bunch of activities that might help with your anxiety about the situation)
  
  edit added workbook
  
  edit - Misread as being jealous over infidelity (sorry! tried to make it more subjective with a nod to cheating vs. being about cheating) / added link for fighting fair

Books can be very helpful as well. [The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook] (https://www.amazon.com/Anxiety-Phobia-Workbook-Edmund-Bourne/dp/1626252157/ref=sr_1_4?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1466618329&sr=1-4&keywords=anxiety) is a great one to start with as well as My Age of Anxiety.

Monkey Mind and Agorafabulous are great books when you want a good laugh and realize other people have similar experiences as you.

I feel sad when I read this. I think that the way I would try and tackle the issue is to work on your beliefs towards people in positions of authority.

Example thought: "OMG i fucked up my boss is going to get mad at me and humiliate me in front of all my coworkers"

Question this thought:
What evidence (real facts) do I have that prove this will happen?

Worst case scenario:
If this happens, what will be the consequences? What does that say about me?

Beliefs you might recognize:

Self: "I'm a failure"
Others: "If I fail others will bully me and humiliate me"

After the event happened, lets say you turned in an assignment or did some project for your boss and you forgot to complete one small task and begin to panic and think that your boss will yell at you and your coworkers/friends will find out and they will make fun of you too

Instead, your boss realizes you forgot to complete the small task and privately pulls you into his office and tells you that you forgot to do one thing and if you could get it done.

You apologize and finish the task off.

In this way, you realize that not everybody in authority will abuse you.

Although, some will. And you may have bad experiences too. Take the above situation again but this time your boss said in front of your co-workers: "You piece of shit, you forgot to do this part"

You can say to yourself (positive self talk): "It's okay, I forgot. I'm only human and humans forget things. I can't be perfect. All I can do is my best and that's it" and you realize that your boss is being a jerk, maybe because of something completely unrelated to you. Maybe his wife is leaving him and hes super angry (not a valid excuse, but just some insight)

You must work on setting personal boundaries. For example, you demand that you must be talked to in a calm and respectful manner. If they don't agree then just cut them out of your life, you don't need to put up with that shit. Of course, if you need the job I would not tell your boss to fuck off right away, I'd try and line one up before you do a thing like that. Most likely it will not come to that.

Also you must find what you value and stand by them, no matter what anyone else thinks. I recommend thinking about this first what you stand for and then looking online for a list of them.

I'm super tired. I dont know if this is making sense or not.

Basic Idea: Expose yourself to your feared authority situations slowly, and realize that some people are jerks and some people are not.

A small first step is maybe just walking by your superior and seeing what you think will happen and what actually happens

Then you can make a small mistake and see what you think will happen and what actually happens

P.S. I've not read this book myself but I've heard that it is good.

http://www.amazon.com/dp/1626252157/

Yay congrats! You did awesome! As someone who suffered from severe anxiety for a long time I can understand how you are feeling. I have a book that has really helped me in the past called the anxiety and phobia workbook. Here's a link to it on amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Anxiety-Phobia-Workbook-Edmund-Bourne/dp/1626252157/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1467669588&sr=8-1&keywords=the+anxiety+and+phobia+workbook
I highly recommend this book to people with anxiety issues. A therapist suggested I buy this book because I was having a hard time even getting to appointments sometimes and it has been so helpful.

Sorry for the late response, if you haven't bought any yet this is the one I tried.

For CBT:

https://www.amazon.ca/Anxiety-Phobia-Workbook-6th/dp/1626252157/ref=pd_sim_14_5?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=45ZCKZGTAKGE661FC439

and for DBT:

https://www.amazon.ca/Dialectical-Behavior-Therapy-Skills-Workbook/dp/1572245131/ref=sr_1_7?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1522800612&sr=1-7&keywords=DBT+anxiety

I haven't tried the DBT one, but someone who's anxiety is likely worse than mine, tried it and recommended it to me. It also seems to be the most recommended DBT book on the interwebs.

I like to go to the park and chill on a bench while doing breathing exercises. Sometimes I listen to the Rain Sounds app on my phone (with earbuds), as I find the sound of rain and thunderstorms to be calming. Anti-anxiety medication is also very helpful (for me), first few days on them were rough, but it was smooth sailing after that. Eating healthy and getting lots of anaerobic exercise (running, cycling, etc.) is also helpful. I wasn't able to cope with just the natural remedies, and needed drugs to get me out of the rut I was in, but that's just me.

My doctor recommended this book, there's a lot of good techniques in there that helped me (and there's a torrent of it floating around online).

• Badass Ways to End Anxiety & Stop Panic Attacks!
I got this on a whim upon seeing the 5 star reviews, and I though, why not? It ended being an invaluable resource when I experienced a setback. It's a very casual, common sense, and at times humorous, approach to tackling anxiety. Read this, if nothing at all. The author also has an app with audio supplements as well as a weekly email with helpful tips you can subscribe to.

• The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook
This has tons of researched, science, and evidence-based information thats incredibly helpful. Definitely take the time to do the worksheets and practice. No matter how tedious, you can never do too much. Not to mention the fact that you can access to their online audio recordings once you register the book online. The audio files contain meditation, calming, and visualization techniques. The guided progressive muscle relaxation was a life saver before hitting the sack and waking up as calmly as possible. Tip: if you do fall asleep well after trying that, also try saying, "today is going to be a good day" the moment you wake up. It will drastically change how you approach your whole day, and helps with the onset of panic attacks.

• Daring Greatly by Brené Brown
Although this isn't geared towards anxiety, I found so many useful tools for approaching vulnerability and finding the bravery you need to go through the scary, dark parts of recovery. Very uplifting and enlightening.

• Notes on a Nervous Planet
I will simply quote a reviewer:
"As someone who suffers from depression and anxiety, Matt's writings help in letting me know that I'm okay. This book is exactly what I needed to read. We are living in a time that is hard to understand and sometimes letting go is necessary, but not to the point of recklessness. Matt seems to always find the right way to pinpoint the struggles of many and he has the ability to make us feel as if we are wrapped safe in a warm blanket."

https://www.amazon.com/dp/1626252157/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_YwTQBb80MKX1R

This is the one that I’ve gotten the most out of personally.

There is a lengthy section in our wiki about this, written by people just as anxious as you are. I hope it helps!

(You should also know that if you're in the US Medicaid does offer some assistance toward mental health, you're just limited on providers.)

https://www.reddit.com/r/Anxiety/wiki/gettinghelp

There are other options that don't require you even leave your home, if it is very bad for you. Meditation, breathing exercises, and general cardio has all helped me a great deal. There is also a book that I personally found extremely helpful. It explains different anxiety disorders and discusses/teachers various methods to relieve it. It really is a good read, and if you have a Kindle relatively inexpensive!

I hope you feel better soon <3

Breathing techniques are great! They're actually different in CBT and DBT (Paced breathing in DBT, one of the TIPPS skills that I love utilizing when I'm in a moment of Panic or am having a flashback due to PTSD), I also love giving myself outside (of my panic attacks/anxiety) body sensations as you described with the tapping.

Before I got myself in to a therapy program, I used this CBT based work book and it helped me enough to get over my agoraphobia enough to actually leave my house and get into therapy:https://www.amazon.com/Anxiety-Phobia-Workbook-Edmund-Bourne/dp/1626252157/ref=pd_lpo_sbs_14_t_0?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=CM796J9N8TT839YY64DD

This book changed the way I think about anxiety. I used to think it was incurable too (and was also bedridden for a while), but it's anxiety is not a disease, it's a feeling you have. This book helps reframe the way you think about your anxious feelings.

It's a workbook with exercises, so you can go through it step by step, from fundamentals to more advance stuff (like positive mantras, and supplements). You sound a lot like me a couple years ago. Order it now, you won't regret it, promise!

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Anxiety-Phobia-Workbook-Harbinger-Workbk/dp/1626252157

+1 for headspace. There's a free app which is pretty good, there's also a whole series which you have to pay for (or ahem, find the mp3s).

Again, not really helping answer your question, but you might find
The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook helpful. It's fairly no-nonsense. The "Overcoming.." series such as Overcoming Depression can be a bit hit and miss but it might help give you a few insights.

Um, http://www.amazon.com/Anxiety-Phobia-Workbook-Edmund-Bourne/dp/1626252157/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1425740914&sr=8-1&keywords=the+anxiety+and+phobia+workbook

there's that one for anxiety. I don't know if you have OCD, I'm not a doctor and stopped pretending to be on online, but there's one for OCD as well. OCD doesn't have to involve physical compulsions so...there's that. An OCD workbook like that one is around and though I have never read or used either, I have heard fucking amazing things about these books. I go to therapy! Which has helped tremendously. I also take medications, which has helped a lot, but for anxiety, it's just a fucking band-aid and I know that.

Take a look at that book. Seriously. At least the anxiety one. I know the OCD one is recommended for people who obsess over things as well, which it sounds like you are doing, but ... yeah.

It's not a way to live. At all. Do what you can to try and help this, please. Life is really a lot better without it.

I used to lay awake just like you, worrying about shit. Hell, I still worry about people dying, but I basically give that thought two seconds and can manage to shut it down at least 80% of the time before I become a weepy mess on the floor, almost as though I am living the actual scenario. It's pretty fucked.

Just fight that shit. You're tough because you already live with it. I seriously yell "NO!" in my head at this point and like, that helps but it did take me MANY MANY years to get here.

Don't stop trying to get rid of it. Ever. Keep trying. If the books don't work, please try therapy. If therapy doesn't work (and you might need to try several therapists with different approaches before coming to that conclusion) then maybe it's time to at least consider meds and I know a lot of people are against therapy and medication.

But is it worth it to live like that? That, what you just described, is a fucking living hell. I'm so sorry you're dealing with this.

But you're taking a step here. Take as many as you can.

Good luck.

This is less of a quick fix, but the book "The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook" by Edmund Bourne PhD really helped me. I got it from the library and was still able to go on the website and download a bunch of worksheets.

Also, my counselors have had me write down my feelings like this:

What happened... my friend asked me to help her and I said no

Feelings... Guilt, anxiety, self-hatred

Reactions... Curled up in bed, avoiding reading her messages, thinking "My friend is so sick of me being useless and never helping her, she probably hates me."

This is just an example, but it's been extremely helpful for me to realize what's going on besides just "I feel bad". Sorry you're having to deal with this - best of luck getting to a doctor or therapist soon!

I was just going to post this question! Thank you.

I am reading/completing The Mindfulness and Acceptance Workbook for Anxiety. You can buy it online, or my library had it. I like it because it has things to work on each week and a section where you can think/reflect on in each chapter.

I also tried Things Might Go Terribly, Horribly Wrong: A Guide to Life Liberated from Anxiety. This book is good at explaining how the brain works and why we feel anxious. It's helpful too in getting out of some of our anxious habits.

I have found Acceptance and Commitment Therapy incredibly helpful (for many things, but especially this). Most health insurance covers counseling, which is appropriate for anyone who feels their life isn't working for them and wants to make changes. If you'd prefer the self-help route, here are some books: basic intro, anxiety-specific, and self-confidence specific.

I know this isn't directly what you're asking about, but in case you aren't already using resources like this, they might support the efforts that you're already doing w/ getting out and biking. a lot of people don't realize that there are books addressing effective strategies out there to help with anxiety and things like agoraphobia that can be really helpful.

https://www.amazon.com/Mindfulness-Acceptance-Workbook-Anxiety-Commitment/dp/162625334X/

https://www.amazon.com/Mastery-Your-Anxiety-Panic-Treatments/dp/0195311353/

Feeling Good is a great recommendation. A classic on CBT.

I also recommend this workbook:

https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/162625334X/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?qid=1464133495&sr=8-1&pi=SY200_QL40&keywords=act+anxiety&dpPl=1&dpID=51yi-VBi3VL&ref=plSrch

It details a newer style of cognitive therapy called ACT. It's based on mindfulness/awareness and the data shows that it is equally as effective as CBT. Might be worth a shot to combine the two!

Yeah, that's the panic in the upper 70s.

Try working with this until you can find someone in person. Self-help, basic, but might get you to his/her office if you really work on it.

I really think you should talk to a professional if possible. See if your job offers an Employee Assistance Plan, which is usually available to all employees even if they don't have benefits. You can also try going to a community center, support group, online forums, phone hotlines, or consulting a self help book. I've heard good things about this one: http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/1572248912?pc_redir=1405594369&robot_redir=1. Learn to recognize when you are having an anxiety attack and remember to breathe and try to relax your body. Hang in there and good luck!

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/1572248912/ref=pd_aw_sims_7?pi=SL500_SY115

I've found the Phobia and Anxiety Workbook by Bourne incredibly useful.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/1572248912?pc_redir=1405594369&robot_redir=1

/r/DecidingToBeBetter is a subreddit you may like

I’m also currently waiting for an Amazon book since I don’t wanna do therapy. Maybe you should check it out too

The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook
https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/1572248912/ref=ppx_yo_mob_b_pre_ship_o2_img?ie=UTF8&psc=1

I’ll admit in high school I did have an underlying medical condition that caused me to be more irritable. What if it isn’t you who’s the problem, what if it’s something that medical attention can address?

Good luck. The fact that you’re here asking self aware means you’re already set to be in a better place by the latter of this year.

I always struggled with anxiety and depression while on my meds. And I was a lot of meds. Lexapro + Klonopin + Effexor + Propanolol.

I really believe meds alone are not going to rid you of your anxiety. I am going through a workbook right now called The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook (http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1572248912/ref=oh_details_o03_s00_i00?ie=UTF8&psc=1)
It's been really helpful and I would recommend it. I also take a lot of suppliments, talk to your Dr. about what supplements you can safely add.

But probably most helpful for me has been figuring out positive ways to cope with the anxiety. What outlets do you have that can help you process your attacks? Painting, journaling, drawing, exercise, those are some of mine.

Good luck, you are not in this alone!

The way that I handle my fears is by intellectualizing. (I think that's what it's called... it's one of the few accepted psychological "methods" of coping with this sort of thing.) I bought a book written by a Ph. D. that single-handedly helped me understand so much about myself... it's very practical. (Here's a link.)

Other advice I can't give you, for I tried many things before that had no effect.

Good luck!

Anxiety and Phobia Workbook.

I just started reading it. It's very good.

I would definitely talk with your GP or whoever prescribed your lexapro. I started off on 10 mg a day and was bumped up to 20 mg, which seems to be a good place for me right now. In addition to the meds though I've also been in and out of therapy to help learn techniques for coping and learning to address particular patterns of thinking that were making anxiety worse. (For example, being able to point to a thought pattern and saying "Aha, you are catastrophizing!" can help me stop the Anxiety Death Spiral.)

I don't have much experience with anxiety attacks since my anxiety is more low-level and chronic with some worse flare-ups, so take my advice with a saltshaker handy. I've had some success with practicing mindfulness and have so far really enjoyed the book The Mindful Way through Anxiety (here's the book's website, and here is the Amazon page). You do not have to be Buddhist or anything-ist to practice and benefit from mindfulness.

You may also be interested in what the Anxiety and Depression Association of America has to say about dealing with panic/anxiety attacks.

Best of luck! I know it's scary but you're definitely not alone and anxiety can be managed. It's just the trick of finding what works for your brain chemistry, psychology, and living situation.

I suffered with pretty significant anxiety into my mid-twenties. CBT helped to a large extent and kind of took the edge off, but adding mindfulness to the equation was the key to overcoming it. This is the program I used, which has a lot of the same elements as CBT. Another option.

I'm doing phenomenally better than I've ever been in the years between 18 and 26, yes.

For getting over the "silliness" of meditation: understanding the scientific research behind it can help arm you with knowledge to fight against the negative inner critic. Here's a few useful articles to get you started: One Two Three

If you're worried about looking silly, than make time when you can be alone. If you're living at home with your parents and don't feel comfortable going "hey, don't knock on my door for a while because I'll be meditating" then try going for a walk, to a park, or someplace else where you can sit comfortably alone for 5 to 20 minutes without being bothered. You don't have to do the traditional meditation poses, simply sitting upright with your hands folded in your lap is fine. You can also do it when laying down before bed, but I suggest making that an EXTRA meditation session, not your main one, since generally (at least for me) it usually makes me fall asleep pretty fast.

I really do absolutely suggest you give the Everybody Has a Brain channel a watch, both for the fantastic guidance Mark offers as well as the general "I'm not alone in this feeling" thing that happens that's a real relief when you hear people talking about things that you've been keeping bottled up inside for years.

As for talking: listen, I know it's extremely difficult. And certainly not everyone you know or are friends with is someone you feel you can trust. BUT. OCD is an insidious disease that does everything it can to keep you from talking about it, because the easiest way for it to stay so large and scary is for it to build up in your brain and never be spoken of. It's seriously like Voldemort that way. You've got to say its name, and tell people what its doing. When you do, it starts to lose power. It is definitely one of THE HARDEST STEPS that you will have to take on the road to recovery. But it is ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY. That's why I said that if you don't want to talk to others at first then at least start talking to yourself OUTLOUD about it. Because putting real words to it outside of yourself is an essential part of stripping your fears of their power over you.

I'd also highly suggest you find a talk therapist. If your financial situation is prohibitive, then find a local school and ask them if they have a program for their grad students to earn hours in. That's actually where I go-- my local area has a counseling center where grad students (overseen by licensed professionals) do talk therapy sessions on a sliding scale basis dependent on income. My income is extremely low so I only pay $10 per 1 hour session, and I completely credit my counselor with helping save my life.

You can also start yourself off while looking for a talk therapist. Pick up The Mindfulness Workbook for OCD. It's just an all around excellent book. Doesn't replace therapy or your own hard work but it can be a nice guide when you're alone and are still looking for help.

Lastly: about being "pitied" or people thinking you're "crazy". That was 100% my fear for 8 years. It's what drove me to bury my feelings and hide my anxieties from sight even while it was literally eating me alive from the inside. I thought that as long as I looked alright on the surface I wasn't really "crazy".

The most freeing thing I learned from finally being unable to hide my disease is that being honest about it, owning it, and controlling the conversation about it and about your experiences is one of the best ways to take at least half your burden off yourself. Like I said earlier, its terrifying. And at first I could only tell my close family and my therapist. It's like coming out as LGBT (which I've had to do too). You spend so much time fearing what other people will think that it becomes This Thing, but once you get over the first couple hurdles and deal with the reactions as they come, it becomes easier, and eventually you never ever want to go back to a place where you deny that part of you.

OCD is a part of you. It will always be a part of you, even when you're 100% in the recovery zone you will still have OCD because it's a chronic life-long disease, just like any other chronic disease. But that's not something you have to despair about. Don't get me wrong, there will definitely be people who react negatively. When you find them, cut them out of your life. You don't have to shun them, but you don't ever have to give someone who can't respect you full access to you once they've proven untrustworthy. It's hard, but oh so worth it. Surround yourself with people who love you and respect you and move those who don't down a few tiers in friendship, and you'll realize just how much the people that love you are truly there to support you through your hard times.

At this point in my life, if for some reason it ever comes up, I will tell literal strangers about my OCD. Three years ago I couldn't even imagine that without a panic attack. Now I can't imagine not being upfront about it. Especially considering the amount of harm that misinformation does to people who struggle with OCD, and how that misinformation makes non-OCD people view those who have it. Talking about it is the only way we can combat that. I know you're absolutely nowhere near that kind of thing right now, and maybe you never will be, and that's ok. But it's just something to consider.

Hope that helps.

There are a two workkbooks that I can think of off the top of my head.

There is The OCD Workbook: Your Guide to Breaking Free from Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder by Bruce M. Hyman. It is does a pretty good job in what it sets out to do and there are less expensive editions of the same book available on Amazon.

One that I haven't gone through yet goes by the title of The Mindfulness Workbook for OCD: A Guide to Overcoming Obsessions and Compulsions Using Mindfulness and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy by Jon Hershfield and Tom Corboy. I am not sure if it touches upon ERP (Exposure Response Prevention). It has gotten great reviews though!

Best of luck!

Do you work with an OCD specialist? Have you ever done CBT/ERP to learn how to manage things?

One of the best (read: shittiest) things about OCD is that it can always find a new theme, a new set of obsessions and compulsions, to burden you with. But at the end of the day, OCD is just OCD - the content doesn't matter, the treatment and coping methods are the same for all the various themes you could think of. So if you've ever gotten professional help before, you can employ the things you worked with then to help yourself now.

I've you've never seen an OCD specialist, that's my first recommendation. If that's not an option, there are some great self-help resources available. I personally recommend Hershfield and Corboy's Mindfulness Workbook for OCD.

Good luck!

also more ocd focused, but may be helpful http://www.amazon.com/The-Mindfulness-Workbook-OCD-Compulsions/dp/1608828786

I’ve used this and I recommend it. I believe there are other workbooks in this “series” that might also be worth checking out.

The Mindfulness Workbook for OCD: A Guide to Overcoming Obsessions and Compulsions Using Mindfulness and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (New Harbinger Self-help Workbooks) https://www.amazon.com/dp/1608828786/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_m97QBb4C3XW24

Anything by Jon Hershfield. He is a psychotherapist and OCD specialist who has also battled with OCD his entire life. I like his perspective because as a sufferer he really puts the experience into words that make absolute sense to me.

Everyday Mindfulness for OCD and its accompanying workbook were game changers for me. He artfully breaks down the entire rumination process for OCD suffers and has countless methods and games to help you stay anchored even in ruminating thoughts. He also breaks down ERP and its the closest thing to an OCD therapist Ive ever had. I also struggle with panic attacks that result from rumination, and I use methods from this book constantly. Its rocky at first but the more you embrace your scary thoughts and uncertainty the easier the methods become. Its also small so its easy to carry around with you. I don’t go anywhere without in it.

Everyday Mindfulness for OCD: Tips, Tricks, and Skills for Living Joyfully https://www.amazon.com/dp/1626258929/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_tai_IxfMDbSMT8G7Z

The Mindfulness Workbook for OCD: A Guide to Overcoming Obsessions and Compulsions Using Mindfulness and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (A New Harbinger Self-Help Workbook) https://www.amazon.com/dp/1608828786/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_tai_1xfMDbDQZ39MR

Info | Details
----|-------
Amazon Product | The Mindfulness Workbook for OCD: A Guide to Overcoming Obsessions and Compulsions Using Mindfulness and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (New Harbinger Self-Help Workbooks)
>Amazon donates 0.5% of the price of your eligible AmazonSmile purchases to the charitable organization of your choice. By using the link above you get to support a chairty and help keep this bot running through affiliate programs all at zero cost to you.

Yes, it's not a bad idea, but it likewise pretty difficult to just 'make yourself happy' on cue. It's more of a habit, a pattern of thinking, that changes your mind in the long run? Also, there are other mind-states that are good for lowering OCD symptoms, not just excessive cheerfulness, but also just being generally compassionate, or trying to cultivate a calm attitude, or having flexible, open-minded thinking can all help as well.

Maybe you could try something like a mindfulness-based technique for your OCD? Many people say this workbook has been helpful: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Mindfulness-Workbook-OCD-Overcoming-Compulsions/dp/1608828786
People who practice mindfulness (the proper way, that is, not just the modern trendy version that's a bit half-arsed :D ...) tend to report having a calmer, more balanced, more cheerful mind-state, because they've trained their mind in a lot of healthy habits that tend to make you feel more positive in the long run. Like for example, focussing on how you can be kind to others around you when you're having a bad day, tends to lift most pople's spirits, or adopting a mindset where you're trying not to ruminate excessively over worrying things from your past.

At the very least, mindfulness practice is unlikely to do you any harm, and it's likely to help lower your OCD symptoms, so maybe it'll make you feel happier too as a nice bonus :)

I applaud you on taking a huge step when it comes to battling your OCD! You are right! Finding someone is a complete pain in the backside, but don't give up!

/u/backhaircombover/ is correct that the IOCDF is a great resource. I also have occasionally found some listings on the https://www.psychologytoday.com/ site.

If you have insurance, they will often have a list of professionals they work with as well. Unfortunately you will likely find that a lot of the folks with a great deal of OCD experience tend not to take insurance. Still, sometimes you can find both!

Definitely do what you can to research people on the net and also make calls and talk to them in person. It can be a good idea to write down your questions and concerns so you don't forget anything when you are on the phone. Also, be willing to give someone a try if it sounds like it may be a fit but you aren't positive. There is no reason you have to go back if it just isn't clicking.

In the meantime, you might also benefit from going through a workbook on OCD. I recently did this one with my therapist and I did find it helped in some ways: The Mindfullness Workbook for OCD.

Good luck!

Edit: Forgot to add, different professionals specialize in different things (ERT vs CBT for instance) so keep that in mind as well. My last Dr was experienced with ERT and I found it helped a lot.

Sure thing! As far as meditation goes, I've mostly used podcasts or apps. A search for "mindful relaxation" or "guided meditation" pull up lots of helpful podcasts. There are lots to chose from, many free. These have been helpful for me when I have trouble sleeping or relaxing at night. I find my mind keeps running with all sorts of thoughts and my anxiety levels are often high at bedtime. Meditation helped me relax and sleep. After seeing a therapist for OCD, she has encouraged me to apply the deep breathing and relaxing techniques that the mediation podcasts use and teach when I feel upset about different OCD situations. For instance, just thinking or talking about some of my obsessions cause me to get upset and hyperventilate, so she has taught me to calm myself with using the mediation techniques I know. It's kind of like exposure therapy I suppose, but on a much lighter scale. I'm just thinking and talking about the obsessions and learning how to calm myself. But with practice I've learned to apply the techniques in real life when OCD strikes. But it does take practice, because at first I wouldn't even remember to use the techniques.

As for mindfulness, much of it involves being involved in the moment, observing your thoughts for what they are and not making judgements on them (thinking your a good or bad person for what your thinking, just acknowledge the thought and move on). For me this is can be hard because some of my obsessions aren't pretty. I can have bad images or thoughts I don't want to have. But mindfulness stresses we should acknowledge the thought is there, not make a judgement whether the thought is good or bad and just recognize it as a thought, and move on. To help me practice this, I have found the book The Mindfulness Workbook for OCD by J Hershfield and T Corboy helpful. It has a general overview of mindfulness and then breaks down into sections for different types of OCD (ex; relationship, checking, harm, contamination, etc). It really explained OCD thought patterns in a way I could relate to, and has been helping me recognize them so I can try to stop them before they spiral out of control.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/1608828786/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?qid=1410734291&sr=8-1&pi=SY200_QL40

You've got this. Tell your self there's nothing to be afraid of, out loud might help. With practice, you will change the response. It's a vicious cycle - your anxiety is causing the phenomenon which is causing the anxiety. You can interrupt this cycle. There may be other sources of anxiety that also need to be addressed. Consider CBT as well - if you can't afford to or don't want to see a therapist, you can try to help yourself with this book: https://www.amazon.com/Cognitive-Behavioral-Workbook-Anxiety-Step/dp/1626250154/ref=sr_1_7?ie=UTF8&qid=1522946327&sr=8-7&keywords=cognitive+behavioral+therapy+workbook or others like it.

Good book on self-therapy for anxiety:

https://www.amazon.com/Cognitive-Behavioral-Workbook-Anxiety-Step/dp/1626250154/ref=sr_1_fkmrnull_3?keywords=cognitive+behavioral+therapy+anxiety+knaus&qid=1550272591&s=gateway&sr=8-3-fkmrnull

I relate to everything you said. I get into a self-hate spiral over what others might see as small things, and then I try to ask myself why I suck at dealing with life when there's nothing objectively wrong with my life. Other people have real problems and I can't handle simple realities of being a human. So, add more guilt and shame to the self-hate train. What happens if I encounter a "real" problem? Would I even have the resources to deal with that? The thought scares me. My spouse is the best thing in my life, and the reason I don't entertain suicide for long. But it occurs to me that it's not good for my continued existence to hinge on the uninterrupted presence of one mortal person.

Side note, I was in a bookstore and found this and this, and skimming through I ran into some excerpts that seemed potentially helpful, particularly about mitigating guilt, shame, perfectionism, procrastination, and other things that can exacerbate depression and anxiety. I've heard good things about CBT, so I'm looking forward to getting the books from Amazon this week.

Supposedly having more available serotonin encourages positive change in the brain. I read about it in this book (https://www.amazon.com/Rewire-Your-Anxious-Brain-Neuroscience/dp/1626251134) a while back, but I don't remember the specifics. Great book if you're looking for a detailed read.

Self-help CBT books have been shown to be as effective as thousands of dollars of visits with a therapist. As long as a person commits and does the exercises, it can really change things around.

In addition to seconding your book rec, I'd recommend also "Cognitive Behavioral Therapy in 7 Weeks" by Seth Gillihan, and "Mind Over Mood" by Greenbereger and Padesky. Also "Rewire Your Anxious Brain."

This used to be me as well. I believe it's a form of OCD, where you have obsessive and compulsive thoughts thoughts instead of actions.

I've largely moved past it but it still flares up every once in awhile. My best suggestion: reach out to a psychiatrist and a psychologist. Medicine has been a god send to me and my family. Your wife loves you and supports you but you have to take care of yourself as well.

This is a book my psychologist recommended to me. It might be worth it to check it out. But please, seek help. The first step is the hardest but it will get better, trust me.

Link: The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook https://www.amazon.com/dp/1626252157/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_C-BFybHGF1DMJ

This book helped me a lot. Learn about what is happening and start fighting back!

https://smile.amazon.com/Anxiety-Phobia-Workbook-Edmund-Bourne/dp/1626252157/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1469632236&sr=8-1&keywords=anxiety+and+phobia+workbook

Something that's really helped me is just owning the anxiety in the moment as it's happening. So on the weekend something happened at work that triggered a full-fledged anxiety attack. I've talked to my therapist and we've talked about "neurological pathways" and how it's just my brain's automatic response in triggering situations. So once the attack comes on it's like "Okay, this is happening, and it's okay." I know anxiety attacks are short term, they go away. So I just observe. I don't react. So reacting would be "Oh my god, I'm having an anxiety attack. Shit. SHIT. Okay, calm down, calm down. Stop freaking out." Etc. And then I do the steps that help calm me back down. So for me it's usually first and foremost - going home. Because home is quiet and safe and most of my anxiety attacks happen outside my home. So going home. Deep breaths, some water, put on my comfy clothes and then talk to my mom. Because I live with my parents and my mom gets it and she just listens and tells me it's okay and that makes me feel better. And then by that point I'm usually coming down off the attack and am starting to feel drained so I'll just spend the rest of the day vegging out, watching a movie or something.

Other things that have helped with my anxiety on a general, day-to-day basis:

• Medication, I'm on Cipralex (Lexapro) 30mg/day
  
  
• My therapist, who is amazing and has given me lots of helpful tips and tricks and support
  
  
• CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) which is a form of therapy that helps you restructure your thought processes. You can do self study with workbooks like this one - which I highly recommend.
  
  
• Changing your diet - if you're really jittery and anxious throughout the day try cutting out some of your caffeine intake, cutting back on alcohol (since alcohol is a depressant and once it's out of your system you can feel more anxious after)
  
  
• Addressing any underlying health issues like thyroid problems, anemia, etc. I'm anemic and when I don't take my iron pills my mood suffers horribly.
  
  
• Meditation, mindfulness, yoga can all help. I find even just doing some quick, deep breathing exercises helpful to calm me down in the moment.
  
  
• Journalling - getting all those racing thoughts down onto paper clears my head.
  
  -Exercise, there's a lot of evidence to show that exercise is REALLY helpful. Mild exercise. Like just going out for a walk - my go to favourite.
  
  
• Getting enough sleep. If I don't get enough sleep you can bet my anxiety will be worse that day. Making sleep a priority has really helped.
  
  
• Doing things I enjoy like reading, video games, watching a movie, spending time with my cats, etc.
  
  
• Spending time with people I care about - gets me out of my own head for a bit.
  
  

Hi there. I'd say that the symptoms you describe are a normal reaction to what should be an abnormal event; at the same time, it's no way to live. You shouldn't have to struggle with these thoughts and feelings every day.

It sounds like you are managing incredibly well, especially given how much your daily life is affected by what you've been through. Seriously, well done.

Personally, after I was hurt I poured even more energy into my work (it was my first 'real' job out of uni). I moved to a new neighbourhood, had terrible nightmares/flashbacks and constantly had the event on my mind, but at the same time I actually excelled in the work sphere. I was promoted several times and given raises etc... however, as you say, I was tired. Eventually, at about the three-year mark, I became so drained that I couldn't keep it up, and the situation began to reverse - my work suffered more and more and my personal life all but disintegrated. It was a profound exhaustion like I'd never known. By the time five years came, I was at the end of my rope. I had to take a full year off of work to focus on processing the trauma and rebuilding my life.

The reason I'm sharing this is to let you know that you're not alone, but also to warn you that if it is still affecting your day-to-day life this much, it's unlikely to go away on its own without some kind of intervention. Please do keep living your life and be very proud of everything you are accomplishing, but also be cautious of burnout. Even the strongest, most intelligent person has a limit to what they can endure.

Therapy can be really helpful if you have access to it, but as you mentioned it's not within everyone's budget. This is more of a long-term plan, but when you are looking for jobs, look closely at their benefits packages - many do include mental health funding/support services, at least where I am. In the meantime, it might be worth reaching out to your school and your local rape crisis centre to see what they might offer in terms of free counselling.

Outside of that, I'd recommend getting a few books to guide you through. Some that could be helpful are:

• Calming The Emotional Storm ...I think this one was written with bipolar people in mind, but I don't have that (I've been dx'd with ptsd, anxiety and depression) and I still found it very helpful
  
  
• The Rape Recovery Handbook ...haven't tried this one myself but have seen it oft-recommended
  
  
• The Body Keeps The Score ...a very well-known book/author dealing with trauma recovery
  
  
• The PTSD Workbook ...not saying you have ptsd, but this might still be helpful to guide yourself through trauma recovery
  
  
• The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook ...I've found this one helpful as well
  
  At least a couple of these are also available as audiobooks, if that interests you (I use Audible).
  
  Good luck with everything; it sounds like you are on a great path. You will get to a place when what happened to you feels more past than present... just be sure to address it and treat yourself with kindness and compassion along the way.
  
  It's totally normal and ok that this is tough for you, but it doesn't have to be this way forever. You're so much more than what happened to you. 💙

https://www.amazon.com/Anxiety-Phobia-Workbook-Edmund-Bourne/dp/1626252157/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1539833120&sr=8-3&keywords=anxiety+and+phobia+workbook

I was looking on Amazon and came across this highly reviewed workbook:
The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook https://www.amazon.com/dp/1626252157/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_kZ24Cb6AR4G4V

I might order this myself. I agree that small steps are the way to go. I saw above that you’re thinking of getting a dog. I think that’s a great idea. My dogs add so much happiness to my life. Plus they get you out of the house and walking.

This book is pretty cool, in part it explains what causes panic attacks, how to stop them, and how to recognize triggers.

https://www.amazon.com/Anxiety-Phobia-Workbook-Edmund-Bourne/dp/1626252157/ref=pd_lpo_sbs_14_t_0?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=3K4432BJ985R5BNRHGH0

Try this, it really helps ... Then when you get home, read this book.! CBT is what it's about for getting things manageable, and that book I linked is a gold standard on anxiety management via CBT.

Good luck you! And don't fight it, accept it and trust that it will pass, it always does \^.\^

I'm so sorry that your anxiety is so awful right now, and it sounds like it would be horrible for anyone - but add in an anxiety disorder and yeah, things feel fucked.

Are you saying that you are "for certain" going to prison?

It's really common for breathing exercises to freak people out, so please don't think that's just you. It really helps to do breathing exercises when you're NOT anxious so that they become more comfortable to do when you are anxious/panicking...however, you do not at all sound like you're in a place where your anxiety baseline ever gets very low.

I think what the others have said is all good advice. You definitely need a therapist who does immediate symptom relief training - pure CBT. The best psychologist I ever had, who helped me SO much, used the book "The Anxiety & Phobia Workbook." See if you can get a psychologist to work with you using that book, maybe? (There are older, less expensive versions available on Amazon that are just as helpful as the updated 2015 version.)

It also sounds to me like you are very much NOT on the right medications. Have you talked to your med provider recently, and been brutally honest about your symptoms? You really, really sound like you could benefit from anti-anxiety medicine (like a benzodiazepine) (but try to use that short term if possible to avoid withdrawal later on.)

Finally, keep writing. Reddit is great for support. Right now there are almost 200 people browsing /r/anxiety - so even though you only got 16 upvotes (so far) and 8 comments (so far) - trust me, EVERYONE reads what you have written, and MANY are helped by it even if they can't offer suggestions...although you will get some responses, and it's nice to know that people can really and truly relate to the special kind of Hell you're going through.

That sounds less like being introverted and more like social anxiety. They are often linked, but are not the same thing.

Introverts/extraverts are defined more by 'energy', that is, whether they find social situations draining or recharging, but has little to do with how socially engaged a person can be. Social anxiety is a type of anxiety about interacting with others, that can often inhibit daily life.

If you're suffering social anxiety, even minor anxieties, I recommend this book, it's quite helpful if you go through the exercises.

http://www.amazon.com/Anxiety-Phobia-Workbook-Edmund-Bourne/dp/1626252157/

https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/1626252157/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1467358162&sr=8-1&pi=SY200_QL40&keywords=the+anxiety+and+phobia+workbook&dpPl=1&dpID=51uMMM9AwDL&ref=plSrch

Here's some info on CBT and other treatment. I also found this book to be helpful, along with this workbook. :)

I struggled with exactly what you’re talking about for a very long time. If it is affecting your ability to carry out normal tasks throughout the day, you really should try to work with your therapist about better coping mechanisms, possibly medication if cognitive behavioral therapy isn’t doing the trick. I started taking medication for Obsession-based OCD and I’m telling you, it was as if I had been living my life in black and white and was now seeing color. I had no idea that other people lived like this and could actually make it through their day without horrible intrusive thought cycles about horrible intrusive thought cycles and so on. I also highly, HIGHLY recommend The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook by Edmund Bourne. This book absolutely BLEW my mind. So extremely helpful.

that blows, at least it's anonymous and free. you can filter listeners when searching too based on issue.

beyond that, maybe you'd rather read a book; http://amzn.com/0380810336 and/or http://amzn.com/1626252157

I read those and they were pretty helpful

Seek professional help. Seeing a psychologist and learning how to cope with anxiety and deal with it is key. No matter what you do in life, there will be social situations. If you are adverse to seeing a professional, you try a workbook:
The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook
by Edmund Bourne PhD
Link: http://amzn.com/1626252157

Mindfulness and Acceptance Workbook by John Forsyth.

I think the worst part of it was the refusal to do talk therapy and stick to only what the book mandated. It was also a terrible book though.

Check out this book on CBT for intrusive thoughts.

https://www.amazon.com/Overcoming-Unwanted-Intrusive-Thoughts-Frightening/dp/1626254346/ref=cm_cr_arp_d_product_top?ie=UTF8

This link is direct to a pdf file of the book from Library Genesis, the altruistic every science book is now free site.

This link goes to a list of other books relating to bp in mental health.

In my experience it's about projecting a strong version of reality, a strong mental model, and forcing it to cohere the rest of your brain, overwhelming other thoughts, not letting anything ruminate, demanding an answer that fits with reality. Instead of letting your mind wander at work, use it to build your mental models of how the world works. What are you, how do you function, how do your moods work. How do your needs get met, how do people fall in love, how do you raise a good child. I at least start out my day dreaming by setting the tone. If not I'll wander and when I'm not well, I do get the wrong kinds of mental phenomena. It's not all focus on rainbows, but you start with big mental models of the world and the big picture so it's harder to get dragged down or distracted by the brutal things that exist in our past and in our heads. Peace and love!

Good job, man.

There are a LOT of studies that show that exercise helps with anxiety and depression.

In the short-run, high-intensity exercise releases feel-good hormones - norepinephrine, e.g. In the long run, it can actually change your brain structure and keep you from being anxious.

https://www.amazon.com/Exercise-Mood-Anxiety-Strategies-Overcoming/dp/0199791007

Yep I've got a suggestion. I too have struggled with impulsive, out of control behaviors in different areas. One major thing that has helped is getting my blood sugar in order, which in turn gets my moods, my rountines, my cravings and impulse control much more manageable. A book I used it Potatos Not Prozac. It's for people with sugar/food addiction but is based on a program the author developed to help alcoholics. She explains how crazy blood sugars can make you literally feel and behave in crazy ways and the most gentle way to stop bingeing over time. I listen to various OA (overeaters anonymous) speakers on my ipod I found somewhere online years ago for free. Even though I don't go to OA or care much for the god/higher power thing , I find the talks still helpful and motivating when I need a boost. There are also free online SMART meetings. It's a secular program for getting over addictions of any kind. Personally, I found it a bit too easy to run away from but it may work for you.
Honestly, the other thing that has worked best for me is to get fairly high intensity cardio exercise in the mornings several days a week - it changes your brain chemistry - but that only became possible after my binges got under control else I couldn't wake up. I used tricks from this book to be able to start and stick with that. Oh and doing tonnes of online and book research on addiction over many years - you should do that too!

The Wisdom of Insecurity really helped me to realize I was in control of my anxiety, and that most of the issues I was dealing with were the product of our modern lifestyle and way of thinking. Watts is really effective at making Eastern philosophical ideas accessible to a Western audience. I can't recommend the book more, and I hope it helps you work through what you're going through.

There is only one book you need to read of Alan Watts. It is The Wisdom of Insecurity. It is the basis for all the rest of his works.

Here are a few books that opened my mind to questioning reality, and a few books that I've read to help me understand this shift in consciousness I've been going through.

1. https://www.amazon.com/Book-Taboo-Against-Knowing-Who/dp/0679723005
   
   
2. https://www.amazon.com/Wisdom-Insecurity-Message-Age-Anxiety/dp/0307741206/ref=pd_lpo_sbs_14_t_0?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=7Y1AS7AQTH1C1NRRCDQ7
   
   
3. The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle (don't let the commercialization of that book strip you from believing it to be authentic; plenty of profound truths in that!)
   
   
4. The Law of One
   
   
5. https://www.amazon.com/Falling-into-Grace-Suffering-Adyashanti/dp/B00MF18YFU/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1497199153&sr=1-2&keywords=adyashanti+falling+into+grace
   
   
6. https://www.amazon.com/End-Your-World-Uncensored-Enlightenment/dp/1591797799/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1497199264&sr=1-1&keywords=adyashanti+the+end+of+your+world
   
   I highly suggest, whenever you're going for a long drive or walk out in the park, taking out your phone and searching "Adyashanti" in the YouTube search bar. There are tons of profound talks by him, all on this subject. He has changed my life and opened my mind hugely. Enjoy!

Try reading or listening to Alan Watts.

https://www.amazon.com/Wisdom-Insecurity-Message-Age-Anxiety/dp/0307741206

Might I recommend a few of my personal favorites:
https://www.amazon.com/Way-Zen-Alan-W-Watts/dp/0375705104

https://www.amazon.com/Wisdom-Insecurity-Message-Age-Anxiety/dp/0307741206

https://www.amazon.com/Book-Taboo-Against-Knowing-Who/dp/0679723005

Try to do nothing, or read a book

Okay so idk if you're looking for a more clinical manual sorta thing, but as a depressed person or whatever this is a book that I really really enjoyed and helped me to articulate parts of my depression that I hadn't been able to before.

​

https://www.amazon.com/Wisdom-Insecurity-Message-Age-Anxiety/dp/0307741206

I also agree that most of the books by Alan Watts are great to read. Picked this up last week and am loving it

The Wisdom of Insecurity: A Message for an Age of Anxiety https://www.amazon.com/dp/0307741206/ref=cm_sw_r_awd_K-SQub1FNVRH6

I have had issues like yours, where I have several "go-to" thoughts that I was never able to get out of my mind, just terrible thoughts. They would last for years.
ERP can definitely help you with this - I'm proof, as are many others on this board. I would urge you to read Dr. Jonathan Grayson's book, Freedom from Obsessive Compulsive Disoder. It's the best book on OCD I have ever read.
https://www.amazon.com/Freedom-Obsessive-Compulsive-Disorder-Personalized/dp/042527389X/ref=pd_lpo_sbs_14_t_0?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=30F8WQ22FR6V68ZKZA1H

Hey, I am sorry your experience was so rough when you tried to get help the first time. I can sympathize with you and your obsessions look like OCD to me, though I'm not a professional. Have you considered going to another doctor to help you? Sometimes it takes getting the right one for it to work. If you can't, there are books out there about OCD that are helpful, two of my favorites before being able to see a therapist were Brain Lock by Jeffrey Schwartz and Freedom from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder by Jonathan Grayson, but there are even more than that.

I really hope you can break the cycle soon, no one deserves to get their quality of life diminished by something like this.

Maybe not a friend, but it can be your ally.

I know that no amount of suggestion helps this, but this book really friggin helped me. I love Dan Ryckert, but I have absolutely no affiliation.

https://www.amazon.ca/Anxiety-Ally-Turned-Worried-Friend/dp/0692401512

Check it out. Worst you can do is lose a couple hours to a good read.

I don't really have anxiety but I recently read "Anxiety as an Ally" by Dan Ryckert from Giantbomb. One of the key points he makes is that you don't really beat anxiety but just learn to tame it and control it through various methods. Some of the methods that worked for him included:

• Yoga/Meditation
  
• Exercise (Dan mentions how running helped him keep fit and his stress/anxiety levels down)
  
• Drinking less alcohol
  
  Obviously everyone is different but it can't hurt to try these methods if you can. Hope that helps and best of luck.
  

Check out the book Cockpit Confidential - I was an extremely fearful flyer as you described, and my husband bought me this book. It went a long way to helping me handle my fear just by educating me on the process. Knowing what to anticipate each step of the way made me feel more calm. I wouldn’t say I’m totally over my fear, but I went from begging my parents to let me stay home from family trips and having major panic attacks before boarding to having flown by myself around the US, to Europe, and to South America. All without medicating myself with Xanax as I used to do. I flew over 25,000 miles last year, which is amazing for a girl who was known amongst family and friends as the one who hated flying. Recently I even flew in a little Cessna floatplane which I was SO scared to do, but I pushed through and I’m glad I did. You can do it!!

Check out a book called Cockpit Confidential by Patrick Smith. It's a rough profession to get started in and the seniority rules make career advancement move at a glacial pace. Once you're flying for a major airline things get better but it takes years to get there...

https://www.amazon.com/Cockpit-Confidential-Everything-Questions-Reflections/dp/1402280912

I read this book, I learned a lot about how flying works and helped me understand whats going on during a flight, but I'd be a liar if I still wasn't a nervous wreck when on a plane regardless of how I intellectually can understand how it is relatively safe. http://www.amazon.com/Cockpit-Confidential-Everything-Questions-Reflections/dp/1402280912

edit: I also only fly about once a year, so I feel like perhaps if I went on a lot more flights i'd eventually get over it, but that may not be the case.

Check out this

Would love to win this book although it's not going to be the most interesting.

this one would also make me very happy

This is good advice. Also, read this.

I have panic and anxiety disorder, too. Cognitive behavioral therapy has done wonders for me. No meds. No doctors. There's a book that was particularly helpful for me called "The Anxiety & Phobia Workbook". You can get it online and in most bookstores for under $20.

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. a lot of psychologists do it, you can ask your GP or shrink if they know anyone who does. you can do it on your own with workbooks too. i used this one - https://www.amazon.ca/Cognitive-Behavioral-Workbook-Anxiety-Step/dp/1572245727

i get being impatient. i think you can definitely get better without dealing with the past right now. in the short term you can learn to control your panic attacks and understand your triggers.

This one just explains what CBT is:
http://www.nami.org/Content/NavigationMenu/Inform_Yourself/About_Mental_Illness/About_Treatments_and_Supports/Cognitive_Behavioral_Therapy1.htm

THIS page has a ton of free worksheets: http://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/freedownloads2.htm

More worksheets:
http://psychology.tools/download-therapy-worksheets.html

And some books:
http://www.amazon.com/Cognitive-Behavioral-Workbook-Anxiety-Step-/dp/1572245727/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1412908905&sr=1-2&keywords=cognitive+behavioral+therapy

http://www.amazon.com/Cognitive-Behavioral-Therapy-Skills-Workbook-Gregory/dp/1936128020/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1412908905&sr=1-3&keywords=cognitive+behavioral+therapy

Please give this a try!

Does it have to be military-related, or about resilience in general? Military-related:

https://www.apa.org/pubs/books/4317311

https://www.rawatbooks.com/psychology/stress-and-resilience-in-the-military

https://www.amazon.com/Roadmap-Resilience-Military-Victims-Families/dp/0969884028

https://readyandresilient.army.mil/resources.html

There are few resources specific to the special forces that are actually any good (I could only find non-experts pushing an agenda with this concept).

Non-military:

https://www.apa.org/helpcenter/road-resilience

https://www.amazon.com/Resilience-Workbook-Essential-Recover-Adversity/dp/1626259402

https://www.amazon.com/Cognitive-Behavioral-Workbook-Anxiety-Step/dp/1572245727

https://www.amazon.com/Self-Esteem-Cognitive-Techniques-Assessing-Maintaining/dp/1572241985

I just do whatever other people on www.meetup.com are doing. There are lots of local clubs around little hobbies, so just pick one and you'll automatically be doing it with a dozen other people.

Also, may I recommend Cognitive Behavioral Therapy? It's a drug-free psychotherapy that's been proven very effective for anxiety issues like yours. There are therapists who specialize in this or you can guide yourself with a book.

This was recommended to me to help through my anxiety and was very useful.

http://www.amazon.com/Anxiety-Phobia-Workbook-Edmund-Bourne/dp/1572248912/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1406144030&sr=8-1&keywords=anxiety+workbook

I've had anxiety too and don't like conflict. This book helped me: The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook https://www.amazon.com/dp/1572248912/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_p4vzxb46WD28K

We are going to see that movie today, I'll be on the lookout for any nasty people!

While it's no substitute for therapy, this book REALLY helped me to manage my severe anxiety: http://www.amazon.com/Anxiety-Phobia-Workbook-Edmund-Bourne/dp/1572248912

If you have a good therapist, then they'll ask you how you want the sessions to go, and they'll try to tailor their therapy to what you want. If you want to just vent to them, they'll let you do so, or if you want to do CBT, DBT, or any other type of therapy, then they'll do that, so long as they're trained in the type of therapy you want to do. And it's also often helpful to buy a workbook to go through with your therapist. I myself have used The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook, by Edmund J. Bourne. I really like that workbook, since it has tons of exercises to do that really help you learn about how your anxiety works and how to manage it.

And I really doubt your anxiety isn't bad enough to see a therapist. I'm guessing that's just your anxiety trying to convince you of things that aren't true. That's what your anxiety does: when you think about taking a huge step towards overcoming it, it rears its ugly head and tries to prevent you from taking that step. If you want to see a therapist (or a psychiatrist), then you go ahead and see a therapist or a psychiatrist, no matter how much you doubt you need to do so. Show your anxiety who's boss!

IAMAD, but based on some experience with a close family member, some of the thought patterns you're describing are very similar to those described by folks who suffer from obsessive compulsive disorder. By no means is this an attempt to diagnose you. Rather, know that you are not alone, in fact lots of things about the scenarios and worries you're describing sound like what my elder family member has described to me.

Can you find a way to see a primary care doctor? You are, and will be, ok. Do search out some help to talk to. There's lots of methods my Family member has learned. I also bought him this book: https://www.amazon.com/Anxiety-Phobia-Workbook-Edmund-Bourne/dp/1572248912 - not sure how much he used it but he kept it around me so has at least read it. Best of luck!

Its a coincidence. It sounds like a you put a lot of pressure on yourself. I can relate I put the same pressure on myself. I can also relate to your fears of death. I have health related anxiety to a point where when i get a pain or some new feeling "I must be dying" goes through my head.

The best thing i can tell you to do is check out the two books below since you seem to have a touch agoraphobia. Both of these books helped me to get a handle on my anxiety. I still have it and i still have panic attacks. but these two books will help you learn to recognize your triggers and what you can cognitively do to get recentered when the panic starts to set in

http://www.amazon.com/Feeling-Good-The-Mood-Therapy/dp/0380810336/ref=pd_bxgy_b_img_y/179-8397514-8344250

http://www.amazon.com/Anxiety-Phobia-Workbook-Edmund-Bourne/dp/1572248912/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1395152762&sr=1-1&keywords=the+anxiety+and+phobia+workbook

thanks I'll look into that book, link here:
http://www.amazon.com/Anxiety-Phobia-Workbook-Edmund-Bourne/dp/1572248912/

http://www.amazon.com/Anxiety-Phobia-Workbook-Edmund-Bourne/dp/1572248912/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1398625229&sr=8-2&keywords=anxiety+and+phobia+workbook

This is the one I ordered!

Beware anxiety and stress, it has destroyed many good teachers. I know you won't have time to read all of it, but this: http://www.amazon.com/Anxiety-Phobia-Workbook/dp/1572248912/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1319155615&sr=8-1 is a great resource.

Remember that you are human.

Yes it can be totally random and come out of what seems like nothing.
I really recommend this book it helped me learn about my anxiety and it was like 15 bucks.
http://www.amazon.com/Anxiety-Phobia-Workbook-Edmund-Bourne/dp/1572248912

Mine too mate. Most people are like us.

Change is never one big step, it's a thousand little ones. One day you will realise how much you have changed.

I recommend reading The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook. This book helped me realise things that I could fix, especially in my thinking.

You can message me anytime if you need help.

Try talking to your general practitioner (or a GP at a walk-in clinic, etc.), and ask for a referral to a psychiatrist. Psychiatrists are covered by OHIP in Ontario; however, the wait time before the first session can be months. Your GP should be able to diagnose and treat anxiety (with medication) as well if that's suitable.

I recommend self-help resources, such as The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook by Dr. Bourne (https://www.amazon.ca/Anxiety-Phobia-Workbook-Edmund-Bourne/dp/1572248912). This guy knows what he's talking about, and if you're motivated enough to work through this book, you will get results.

A great free online self-help CBT course that his great for anxiety is MoodGym (https://moodgym.anu.edu.au/welcome). There's a similar one by the same people called e-couch, which is also great. (The MoodGym page says that it's for depression, but it works well for anxiety, as the techniques are basically the same).

Good luck!

It might be The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook.
http://www.amazon.com/Anxiety-Phobia-Workbook-Edmund-Bourne/dp/1572248912

Many therapists will work on a sliding scale. I pay $14 per session. My Zoloft costs $5 for two months (I cut the pills in half as per my doctor's instructions). I pay about $35 (factoring in gas to drive to the pharmacy and therapist's office) a month for my mental health. It's not nothing, but it's less than I pay for my phone, my Internet, my food, or my rent - by a long shot.

I let myself believe that it was too expensive to get help for far too long. I was actually telling this to myself because I didn't want to have to get help for a lot of other reasons. I keep this all very private - literally no one in my life knows that I go to a therapist or that I take medication - and you also have that option. Keep it to yourself if you're ashamed or embarrassed, but also realize that you shouldn't be embarrassed - you should be very proud of yourself for recognizing that you feel something that you don't want to feel, it's impacting your life negatively, and you want to do something about it. That takes a lot of courage.

I also have found the book The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook to be a really good resource for me to work through my anxiety. Your local library may have a copy that you can check out. The Feeling Good Handbook might also be helpful for you.

You don't have to feel this way. Take care of yourself.

heh, I have to chuckle. Tell ya what; you can get L-theanine at most drug stores and/or health food stores.
Don't buy GABA itself; it is too large a molecule to pass through the blood/brain barrier (think of it as a bag with teeeny holes in it, that holds your brain; cocaine CAN pass through, Aspirin can and L-theanine can. Once inside the brain - the brain takes the L-theanine and makes it INTO GABA.
take a look at the book "how to win friends and influence people" another good book is http://www.amazon.com/Anxiety-Phobia-Workbook-Edmund-Bourne/dp/1572248912

I posted a similar question on here for a gift for my boyfriend, and I got a lot of great responses so I decided to make a "panic box" for him with lots of different ideas.

He is big on scents for soothing, so I got him a relaxation blend and frankincense essential oils, as well as his favorite incense.

He is also very responsive to tea, so I got him this pregnancy tea. I know that seems weird, but it was one of the few on Amazon that had chamomile and oatstraw. Although I didn't really expect them to work, I also got him stress mints, calm drops, and moon drops in hopes that having something to suck on might calm him down if some minor anxiety pops up.

As for books, after reviewing this thread here, I got him this anxiety memoir since he seems to benefit from reading other people's stories (shout out to this subreddit! Thanks guys!), as well as this workbook.

Finally, I got him a panic pete to give him something to hold and squeeze when he was anxious. Out of all the things I got him, he loved panic pete the best!

As a final, personal touch, I printed out this article which he loved reading when he is anxious, and included some of the calming mantras I found here.

Hope at least some of this helps!

> [Trump] has more worth than me as a person. His life holds more value than mine, has higher social status and is a better person than me, you and almost everyone in the world.

That one phrase stood out to me from your response. Reading that made me feel so horrible for you. You must have so little confidence in yourself if you think that the only thing that makes a person valuable is power and social status. I really feel like you should see a therapist about that, or if not, then read a self-help book. On that particular front, I highly recommend The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook, by Edmund J. Bourne.

I actually have a really relevant quote from that book hanging on my bulletin board. It reads "Self-worth is inherent. You have an essential value, worth, and dignity just by virtue of the fact that you're a human being." Please try to keep that in mind. No one should have to think that they're less valuable than anyone else, especially if that "someone else" is someone as vile and horrible as Donald Trump.

Okay, onto the rest of your comment.

> No one likes being insulted, but I do not see what that has to do with anything? Are you implying that you have insulted me at some point?

My point was that, if you don't enjoy being insulted, then why aren't you trying to do anything to fight against the people who insult you? You'd rather just let them insult you than actually try to stand up to them in any way.

> I still also never said that hatred is better. I just said that people like the bitter guy can feel act of kindness to be worthless and some people would like to stay that way (maybe it was my first post).

Just because they'd rather stay that way doesn't mean that they should stay that way, though. If someone has horrible qualities that they don't even try to change, then they'll very likely be shunned by society as a result.

> Why do you think that "24 stories" was made into an article? Because the sample size is so small that helping someone is actually notable.

That's a pretty large leap in logic to make. Just because a sample size for a single article is small doesn't mean that something rarely ever happens. The sub /r/randomkindness has a very large sample size (over 50,000 members), and it seems to me to be very active, so doesn't that count as proof that society is much kinder than you seem to think?

> Also /r/thathappened is not that much of a cynical sub. There's many realistic NTs there who are not douchy but not super nice. These are real people, they are NTs, not us. Why should they take YOU (and me) seriously, is the question, when regarding a question about society and norms? Ever thought about that?

Yet again, you devalue yourself and act as though NTs are universally better than us. I really, honestly wish I could rid you of this mindset somehow, since I've struggled with low self-confidence myself in the past, and I know how horrible and toxic it can be.

Also, it makes no sense to say that the members of /r/thathappened aren't cynical, since cynicism is defined by Merriam-Webster's Online Dictionary as "having or showing the attitude or temper of a cynic: such as
a : contemptuously distrustful of human nature and motives." (Source.) The members of that sub are entirely distrustful of human nature, and they show that distrust by questioning the thousands of stories on that sub and refusing to believe any of them actually happened. There's a reason why the sub /r/nothingeverhappens exists, you know.

> Finally your "get back to reality" argument is a clusterfuck of you misunderstanding me. I guess that aspies misunderstand each other often. As in me not realizing that you have insulted me. Maybe it's that "get back to reality" part? I guess I won't find it insulting since you literally just reworded what I said.

Sorry about that. I will admit that I'm quite good at misunderstanding people, due to my cognitive issues. I am trying my hardest to parse what you're saying, though, and I do feel like, for the most part, I've been able to understand you. I do apologize for the instances when I haven't, though. I know it can be frustrating to have a conversation with me due to these issues and I have to thank you for not getting frustrated with me, even though you have had every reason to do so.

> I am just going to say that random acts of kindness can be slightly helpful, but is worthless for the most part. Especially when shown to random people, it's feels so forced and fake. As if that's going to mean anything to anyone.

Again, I feel bad for you. If you feel this way about helping others, then I can only imagine that you feel the same way about others helping you. Everyone needs help sometimes, and being helped, especially by a stranger, can make a lasting impact on a person.

A few years ago, I tripped and fell while I was out doing errands. I landed hard on my face and my nose started bleeding. A random woman saw me and helped me over to a local bar, where I sat with a bunch of napkins held to my nose while the woman called an ambulance. To make a long story short, it turned out that I had broken my nose, and the whole experience would have been so much more frightening for me if that woman hadn't helped me out. (And by the way, if a man had helped me out, I would have felt just as thankful for that, so please don't try to make this into a gender issue, when it isn't that at all. I needed help from someone, anyone, in that moment, and I'm so glad I got it.)

Not the main guy, but a great technique is:

A breathing technique of counting to three while breathing in, then counting to six while breathing out.

It is super effective against panic attacks.

EDIT: Also, this! http://www.amazon.com/Anxiety-Phobia-Workbook-Edmund-Bourne/dp/1572248912

I'm almost totally sure I read it in the Anxiety & Phobia Workbook which you should be able to get at your library.

It's interesting particularly in the medical sense because you can acknowledge the absolute suckiness of a racing heart, but assign it to "shit, this sucks, but it's just responding to an inappropriate adrenaline surge. It's doing what it's supposed to do, and when the adrenaline tapers off I will be fine. This is NOT what a heart attack feels like, therefore, this is not a heart attack."

And, if medication is out of the question, I really have learned a lot from the Anxiety/Phobia Workbook. I usually don't go for self-help books (I'm really stubborn), but this one has been helpful. http://www.amazon.com/Anxiety-Phobia-Workbook-Edmund-Bourne/dp/1572248912

I highly recommend The Anxiety & Phobia Workbook. My school counselor recommended it when I asked for CBT, and it's been really helpful for me so far. I also learned in an abnormal psych class that CBT is the most effective treatment for anxiety because it's about control, while meds are only effective in the beginning but really ineffective later on as they are really addictive.

Maybe you could try cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) self-help books. CBT has been proven very efficient when it comes to phobias and panic. It uses exercises to help you identify the thoughts that trigger your reactions, and "correct" them. It also uses gradual exposure to help you slowly feel more comfortable with what scares you.

If you're comfortable enough with English, you should definitely check out workbooks dedicated to anxiety disorders, for example
The Anxiety & Phobia Workbook or The Anxiety & Worry Workbook

Here are all the local Amazon links I could find:


amazon.com

amazon.co.uk

amazon.ca

amazon.com.au

amazon.in

amazon.com.mx

amazon.de

amazon.it

amazon.es

amazon.com.br

amazon.nl

amazon.co.jp

amazon.fr

Beep bloop. I'm a bot to convert Amazon ebook links to local Amazon sites.
I currently look here: amazon.com, amazon.co.uk, amazon.ca, amazon.com.au, amazon.in, amazon.com.mx, amazon.de, amazon.it, amazon.es, amazon.com.br, amazon.nl, amazon.co.jp, amazon.fr, if you would like your local version of Amazon adding please contact my creator.

Dont use medicine. You dont want stuff messing with ur brain. What u need is CBT as that is the permanent solution.
Read this book: its amazing

https://www.amazon.com/Overcoming-Unwanted-Intrusive-Thoughts-Frightening-ebook/dp/B01LWA5RQU/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&qid=1526021234&sr=8-4&keywords=ocd

This book is what more or less cured me.
https://smile.amazon.com/Dare-Anxiety-Panic-Attacks-Audios-ebook/dp/B0158S7E1G/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1505330183&sr=8-1&keywords=dare+anxiety+book
It is different than other methods like meditation. Meditation always felt very passive to me, and this is the opposite. The tl;dr version is when you start feeling anxiety, dare it to get worse. Try making your heart race. Try making yourself sweat. See how bad you can make it. Do this every time you get anxiety. Eventually you will learn not to fear anxiety, which is the fuel of anxiety. Once you remove the fuel, you will starve the fire, and you will be free of it.

Hi. I am sorry you are going through this. I just read your other post as well. You are having intrusive thoughts. Everybody gets them. They are out of our control. The vast majority of people just brush them off but a few of us mistakenly think they mean something really important and they torture us. Know that you are not alone and that you can get better.

Do you find yourself compulsively doing or thinking things to try to reduce the anxiety or to find proof that these thoughts don't mean anything bad about you as a person?

The following may be of help...
www.intrusivethoughts.org
https://www.intrusivethoughts.org/ocd-symptoms/existential-ocd/

I also highly recommend this book. It's only $10 on kindle and is fantastic...
Overcoming Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts: A CBT-Based Guide to Getting Over Frightening, Obsessive, or Disturbing Thoughts https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01LWA5RQU/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_O7ShDbAHZAAXZ

This book is really great. It doesn't give specific solutions on how to solve anxiety, but the author talks through his issues and how he improved on them, and it's really inspiring and relatable. I think this book has been the single most useful thing for me in fighting anxiety. https://www.amazon.com.au/Anxiety-Ally-Turned-Worried-Friend-ebook/dp/B00US3BR0G

This book really helped me, you should seriously consider reading it:

https://www.amazon.com/Overcoming-Unwanted-Intrusive-Thoughts-Frightening/dp/1626254346/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1540746048&sr=8-1&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65&keywords=overcoming+intrusive+thoughts&dpPl=1&dpID=510PpwYBlRL&ref=plS

Listen, it's all temporary even if it doesn't feel that way. Go do something today. Be mindful of something stupid. This morning I was agonizing because of some stupid bitch who has caused drama in my life. She's out of it now but it still bothers me. I redirected my thoughts by sweeping leaves off my patio. It sounds so stupid but little microtransactions you do daily add up. I swept and listened to them crunch of them and paid attention to it. I maneuvered around the perpetually in the way dog. Then I drank a big ass glass of water and made bacon, eggs, and pancakes for my husband and I. Now I'm going to count the begonia plants so I can plan for next year.

All these little stupid things add up. Get a self help book and stick to it. It all counts little by little. I like this one: https://www.amazon.com/Overcoming-Unwanted-Intrusive-Thoughts-Frightening/dp/1626254346. THIS IS TEMPORARY. FEELING LIKE SHIT IS NOT DEFAULT.

Yes, I do.

I've recently been coming to terms with being a bi man, but part of me is worried that if I accept this then I could have all sorts of other perverted desires that have been hidden all along. After all, if I was able to deny my bisexuality for 30 years, what else could be lurking around 'down there'?

I know this is irrational, as I've had same-gender interest before I hit puberty and had to keep it hidden due to an aggressively anti-bi/gay religious and secular upbringing. In contrast, my intrusive thoughts were started by someone who specifically put the thought in my head a few months ago, which until then I never had. And as I was in a period of self-doubt and confusion regarding my sexuality at this time, the thoughts became 'stuck'. I'm seeing a therapist about this now.

The topic you mention (relationship doubt) is quite a common theme of intrusive thought (sometime called 'pure OCD'). It might be worth speaking to someone about this if it still bothers you. There was a study posted here a few days ago that concluded that bisexuals are a little more prone to anxiety in comparison to gay and straight people, so it might be worth reflecting on whether you are feeling anxious in general and not just about your relationship.

I found this book to be a massive help, and it specifically mentions the relationship doubt thoughts you mention, in addition to many other common themes found in anxious thinking. I also like that the book is aware that sexual orientation and intrusive thoughts are not the same thing (some people claim that anyone questioning their sexuality must be having 'intrusive thoughts'), and once uses an example of a gay man with intrusive thoughts that he could be straight, rather than the oft-cited straight person who fears that they're gay. It might be worth a read?

How are you doing? It's been 2 months since I quit now and things are going great. Sometimes the anxiety pops its head back up but by meditating and using CBT it goes away in 10 ish minutes now.

This is what I said to another user just now.

"Yeah I've made it through. It was insanely grueling at the beginning but things are going well for me now.

CBT(https://www.amazon.com/Overcoming-Unwanted-Intrusive-Thoughts-Frightening/dp/1626254346) and Mindfulness meditation(through the headspace app) have helped me the most.

Hope you are doing well!"

I have OCD too, particularly I have issues with intrusive thoughts. I recently picked up this book and it has saved me from so much torment.

OCD will attack the things you’re already anxious about. If you’re a person of faith, OCD will make you question it because it’s what’s most important to you. The more you allow these thoughts to exist, the easier they are to get over.

Is this the kind of thing you're looking for? It's very helpful.
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00H28YC98/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?ie=UTF8&btkr=1

Sure. It's nothing out of the ordinary for people coping with OCD.
I highly recommend you the following books, they are talking about things you're describing and giving great advises:

1. https://www.amazon.com/Coping-OCD-Practical-Strategies-Obsessive-Compulsive-ebook/dp/B003TU2KJC/ref=dp_kinw_strp_2
   2.https://www.amazon.com/Mindfulness-Workbook-OCD-Overcoming-Compulsions-ebook/dp/B00H28YC98/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1503184088&sr=1-1&keywords=mindfulness+ocd
   

Get this book: It's a classic.

https://www.amazon.com/Dare-Anxiety-Stop-Panic-Attacks-ebook/dp/B0158S7E1G/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=dare&qid=1557883984&s=digital-text&sr=1-1

If I am not getting your point, I am sorry. Your description of your concerns is a bit vague to me, and I am trying to answer.

>This means cutting down on the travel, random hobbies, sleeping in and other things that have characterized my twenties.

I think that this is a wise observation. To me, spending a large amount of resource to figure out who you are is one of characteristic of twenties, a part of a phase, not your life is all about. This phase could be much more fun compared to the following phase of actually making efforts to become who you are. And, some people treat the transition from twenties to thirties like the end of their lives, but I do not think that way.

>reassurance

Nobody can assure you about your future and you indeed do not need to be assured. Most likely, your problem is not the future but your anxiety about it. And, having anxiety is very common and there are treatments! Dare could be a good book for you. Although the book may not appealing to you until you obtain internal locus of control, I mention anyway. It took me a very long time to work on my external locus of control.

>I won't be super successful in my twenties

Why? Stop thinking about the past and the future and setting your expectations. That is a step to depression. Your life is a problem nobody faced. It is impossible to calculate expected values when you do not have a defined problem and complete table of outcomes.

> Robert Greene's Mastery

I have not read this book, but if you like the subjects of expertise and deliberate trainings, I recommend these books (Copied from my another thread):

Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance by Angela Duckworth

The book is about the subject of deliberate training and explains how spending a long time on specific kinds of training develops your skills. Not a research paper, and the tone of book is casual. Many pages are about the author and people around her, and those explained the motivation of studies about the subject and added real life examples to apply those studies, for example, to parenting. In general, the book is hopeful to motivate you to start training towards your goal.

Peak: Secrets from the New Science of Expertise

Another book is about the subject of deliberate training. I recommend you to read this book after Grit. This book is more like a research paper. The tone of this book is drier than Grit but the book contains the details of the studies and advises you how, when and how much you should practice.


>having a five year plan for the future seems like an impossibly long timeline

Probably impossible if you mean that you make a plan to follow for 5 years. Planning is like calculus. You need to know what to do right now, assuming as if you are going to do it forever, then you immediately update your plan once you have feedback from what you did right now, and you will be in a different place from where you thought to be yesterday. Having routines and a day plan for today helps me a lot.

At last, this is a common advice about jobs/ career I like.

"Do not pick a job to help people. Pick a job that you can do well and help the most."

Learning to be patient is a great start! Wish you the best :)

Who prescribed it to you? Your regular physician or a Psychiatrist. I have found it is best to find someone who specializes in ADHD, and preferably someone who specializes in ADHD for adults. They are going to be very familiar with the way adhd/anxiety/depression go hand-in-hand, and they are going to be really familiar with how the medication for one, might exacerbate the other.

I am working with 2 people right now. A prescribing nurse at an inpatient/outpatient clinic. They totally get it all. He is managing my medication. We are focused on ADHD because it is the most prominent problem right now.

I am also seeing a Psychologist that specializes in ADHD. We are working on the anxiety with a workbook called the Anxiety & Phobia workbook (http://www.amazon.com/Anxiety-Phobia-Workbook-Edmund-Bourne/dp/1572248912) there is a lot of good information about panic attacks in it as well.

giggles nervously

Someone wrote "CockpitConfidential". I'd love to read a pilot's actual confidential.