Best books about walking according to redditors

We found 215 Reddit comments discussing the best books about walking. We ranked the 44 resulting products by number of redditors who mentioned them. Here are the top 20.

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Top Reddit comments about Walking:

u/fernguts · 32 pointsr/CampingandHiking

About 20 years ago I read The Complete Walker by Colin Fletcher, and in its introduction he makes the case for solo travel, and how it can heighten the enjoyment. It really stuck with me, and is probably the reason why I've tended to date girls who aren't very outdoorsy. ;)

u/RyleyinSTL · 24 pointsr/StLouis

There are at least 2 dozen Micro Breweries you could consider worth a visit. Nearly all offer food which sets us apart from other Micro Brewery cities like Portland or Austin.

Running in the city can be excellent. The street grid and historic neighborhoods/parks provided endless things to checkout as you run. We love it.

The southern part of the state is quite pretty (Ozark Foothills/Mountains). Lots of state parks for hiking. Check out this book: 60 Hikes Within 60 Miles: St. Louis: Including Sullivan, Potosi, and Farmington https://www.amazon.com/dp/0897328833/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_KJhBDbBEPHJC5

What part of Canada are you coming from? The Wife and I moved here from Alberta 12yrs ago. Day to day life is mostly the same, the social/political situation is the biggest difference. It's generally a great country to be a top income earner.

Missouri is VERY conservative. Look up abortion for an idea of how things are here. The government is secular in theory but not in practice. Very unfortunate. That said, the cities are much less so.

Violence is much more common in American life. The idea is that you should inact your 2nd amendment rights and protect yourself that way. Personal choice is emphasized. Rather than the Crown providing solutions, you find them for yourself. Healthcare is a great example. Hearing gunfire in urban areas is perhaps the saddest example of this approach. It will feel odd at first but eventually you'll adapt. American's just do things differently. You'll love it or hate it.

All in all we have LOVED IT.

u/DrZums · 14 pointsr/army

That sounds like it could be a potential muscular issue. If it's pain like cramping pain, try increasing potassium into your diet. I like bananas.

Your tendon issues could be tendinitis. Does it feel painfully right and like it won't expand/stretch in the full motion? If that's the case you need stretching + recovery time.

There are also legit foot issues that you could have. My twin brother had a problem where the bone on the top of his foot kept growing and they had to break and cut it because he was getting to the point where shoes were painful.

Also, you need to read Fixing Your Feet.

https://www.amazon.com/Fixing-Your-Feet-Prevention-Treatments/dp/0899978304

It'll teach you how to prep and care for them. His stuff works.

u/aradthrowawayacct · 11 pointsr/DeadBedrooms

You mentioned in a previous post that she was diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder and that she is also OCD and ADHD, untreated and unmedicated.

You're not, and have never been, dealing with a "typical" person. Her mental health issues are serious and as of yet, unmanaged. You can't expect typical behaviour from someone with her issues.

u/CagedPika has some good resources for dealing with people with NPD, which I hope he will post.

Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder would be a good book for you too.


DBs aren't uncommon when teens marry due to unplanned pregnancy, especially if there is resentment included

u/SkeptiCynical · 10 pointsr/Divorce

Also divorcing a BPD woman. A few notes for you:

  1. Do not talk to police, ever. She will accuse you of something so that she gets the tables tilted in her favor. Do not talk to the police. Don't admit anything, don't answer any questions, and if they call you on the phone, hang up.
  2. Don't sign anything. Not from her, not from her lawyer. Don't agree to any concession, ever. She will use it to extract every dollar, every ounce of emotional energy, and every minute of parenting time from you and your kids.
  3. Check the recording laws in your state. Record every conversation you have with her from here on out.
  4. As soon as it is possible, move back into your marital home. it will be uncomfortable, but it will be a deciding factor in determining custody.
  5. Get in touch with a Domestic Violence group and get a restraining order against her. It may be your first and best line of defense (and she will violate it, I promise).

    A BPD cannot cooperate. They must control, they must preserve conflict and must paint someone as an abuser so they appear as a victim. There is no medication for this. Only years of therapy will help, and BPD don't believe there is anything wrong with them so therapy is never a real option.

    Get ready to stay on the offensive. Your divorce may cost you an arm and a leg but you can not concede anything or you'll spend the rest of your life reeling backwards.

    Pick up a copy of Splitting and follow its advice to a T, even if it seems exaggerated or hokey. Good luck.
u/CagedPika · 9 pointsr/DeadBedrooms

No one should have to go what you did. If my STBX had a younger twin sister, you married her.

I am so glad you are getting out. Save this post somewhere because you will want to occasionally remind yourself what you were going through, when you start to forget the bad stuff and think maybe it was not so bad. Right now it looks like you are in emotional turmoil but at least you are breaking out of the fog. You also might find http://psychopathsandlove.com/how-to-never-get-involved-with-an-abuser-again/ useful. You already found /r/raisedbynarcissists so you might also want to visit /r/bpdlovedones

Since you have recognized codependent behaviors in yourself, you can use the advice in No More Mr Nice Guy (there is a pdf you can browse first) to work on that.

Two useful books on your upcoming divorce:

Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Will I Ever Be Free of You?: How to Navigate a High-Conflict Divorce from a Narcissist and Heal Your Family

I am about a year ahead of you, and my head is a much better place now. You can do it.

u/nte52 · 8 pointsr/popping

To prevent this from happening again, I HIGHLY recommend a book by a guy named John Vonhof

Fixing Your Feet: Injury Prevention and Treatments for Athletes

https://www.amazon.com/dp/0899978304/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_A2-HAbYQF65K0

I did the Ironhorse 50 in Florida in 2012 and my feet were a mess because of the wet conditions. There was a guy who taped my feet that absolutely solved the issue. He was following this book.

I bought the volume 5, though now John’s up to volume 6.

It is a fantastic book aimed at the ultra athlete and our feet. It was absolutely a game changer in how I prepped my feet for longer races.

u/amaxen · 8 pointsr/BPDSOFFA

Hi. Male here, with very similar circumstances. Actually I have two special needs sons and I also provide the financial support to the family (she was fine working but really crazy abusive to the kids when at home), but I also sort of acted as the parent to the kids and cleaned up after the emotional messes she made. Also I had even more reason to fear the legal system than you do because I'm male.

Here's what I did: Downloaded the Tape-A-Talk app on my phone. Memory chips for smart phones are amazingly cheap nowadays, and periodically I'd downloand the audio files to my work computer. Before I came inside I made it a habit to activate the app so it would record what went on. Other times you could tell from the tense atmosphere that there was going to be a blowup. So I'd go to the bathroom or something and turn on the app. Did this for many, many days. I didn't catch even 5% of the craziness, but over time even 5% adds up to enough to convince anyone with an open mind that the BPDer wasn't just having a bad day or was being taken out of context. At first it helped a lot just to know there was a 'witness' that this was happening and it wasn't my fault and it wasn't just my word against hers. I felt a lot better even though divorce seemed impossible. There was some record of my suffering, somewhere.

Collected a lot of these recordings. Couldn't really bear to listen to them at the time, but now that I've initiated divorce proceedings I've been going through them. I'm using a freeware app to cut them down to size for the court. I hired a Family Investigator to basically listen to a mass of her 'greatest hits', talk to various people, and write a report to the court dictating who is fit to be a parent. She, like many BPDers, has recruited and cultivated an extensive 'support network' of professionals and friends who believe her version. Lied about me being alcoholic, a child abuser, a wife beater, etc. But they haven't really heard my story and that's what the CFI does - listen to everyone's story and come to a conclusion.

Without the recordings I would have been dead in the water. Her lawyer is protesting various things about the recordings and the CFI's report, but ultimately family court will listen to all evidence even if it is 'tainted'. I highly recommend you make recordings like this. Even if you choose not to take action it makes a big difference and is saving the lives of my kiddos. State laws on recordings vary, but I'd record him even if it's illegal in your state/country. Even if the recordings can't be used in court itself, they can be used to, say, meet privately with the child advocate where it's just you and them and there's no one to say what actually was done during the meeting. If the child advocate really knows what's going on, it's a lot harder for them to fall under the spell of the BPD's charm.

I'd recommend setting up a meeting with a lawyer to talk about your situation and what options you have. Obviously you have to take precautions to maintain operational security though. I first saw a lawyer over a year before launching the divorce. She didn't believe me either at first, but the recordings convinced her and now it's almost comical in that she's become this sort of avenging fury of justice while I'm restraining her, preaching realism and moderation in the divorce.

There's more stuff - it gets incredibly complicated with a BPDer. If you want to talk message me.

Edit:

I also downloaded This book to my phone, which was helpful. I didn't read it cover to cover, but I skimmed through it to prepare mentally and it did help me anticipate some of the moves in the process.

Also, on reading the suggestions below, under my state's law, it's illegal to record someone's conversation that you're not a party to. Doing it via phone while you're carrying it in your pocket made all of those recorded convo's legal. leaving the phone on the nightstand and recording her behavior with the kids with me not being there is illegal - still useful, but technically illegal and a possible class IV felony. This is why meeting with a divorce lawyer is a good idea, to establish the boundaries of the law.



u/ghost_clutch · 8 pointsr/army

>SuperBeast4721

Reduce friction. Sounded like fuckery to me when I first read it Fixing Your Feet, Later heard SGM Mike Glover mention it as well.


My feet are softer than a Thai Hooker's overly lubricated labia now and blister free. (Lack of STDs helps that part)

u/MileHighNightClub · 7 pointsr/BarefootRunning

Part of my training as a SI practitioner, I was taught that walking gait is a 4 step process of heel rocker, midfoot rocker, ankle rocker and toe rocker.

Heel touches the ground and start calcaneus tilting medially which leads to mid arch of the foot extend and descend to touch the ground when weight moves from behind the ankle to the front. The final phase is toe flexors are extended creating spring like action when release propelling foot forward.

Higher up in the leg there are myofascial continuities that act as wound up springs, that create the rotational movement which swings the leg back - forth.

Check these out for more details.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Born-Walk-Myofascial-Efficiency-Movement/dp/1905367473/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2EI8GRXUS6CJO&keywords=born+to+walk&qid=1562221339&s=gateway&sprefix=born+to+walk%2Caps%2C140&sr=8-1

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Gait-Analysis-Normal-Pathological-Function/dp/1556427662/ref=sr_1_2?crid=H8YNGDF5F903&keywords=gait+analysis&qid=1562221363&s=gateway&sprefix=gait+anal%2Caps%2C144&sr=8-2

u/WislaHD · 6 pointsr/urbanplanning

> Planning's effects on mental health are just beginning to be appreciated.

Indeed. OP may want to take a look at Charles Montgomery's book Happy City for inspiration on how psychology and planning intertwine. It is an easy read too.

u/stopthebefts · 6 pointsr/AskSF

Gift cards are great, but might I recommend a couple books on exploring San Francisco? The city is very walkable and has a rich history; my enjoyment of SF grew exponentially when I started planning these day adventures around the city. I've personally used Stairway Walks in San Francisco and Cool Grey City of Love, but there are quite a few similar books on Amazon.

u/atetuna · 6 pointsr/camping

Focus on being a good camper first. That will teach you a lot about camping, and should keep you out of survival situations.

Since you're new, starting in the winter is a bad idea. At least start with car camping, and don't let pride stop you from bailing out to the warmth of your running and heated vehicle, or even the city.

Try The Complete Walker. There are many things to learn that could literally take a lifetime to master, but that book is a decent place to start.

u/WrittenByNick · 6 pointsr/relationship_advice

It's really hard to do. First and foremost, speak to an attorney. Don't give her any hints that you're planning to divorce her in advance. My post history from a couple of years ago shows all that I went through, including claims that she had already called the police on me (she had not. and I called the police the next day to see how I could protect myself), breaking into my email to get my correspondence with the attorney, and not being honest about large amounts of debt.

I recommend this book - Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with BPD or NPD. It is a good understanding of the steps you can take, and what is and is not within your control during the process. I'm not diagnosing your wife with any sort of certain illness or disorder, but I will say the behavior you describe certainly has a Cluster B flavor to it. In fact, the way you wrote about her objections to therapy are nearly word-for-word what I dealt with over the years when trying to get her to go to couples counseling with me.

Another person in this thread mentioned projection with your wife describing Laura as a Narcissist, and I experienced that as well. I wasn't falling back into the cycle of staying in the marriage yet again to make it work, because I always believed her that things would get better. She finally went to a talk therapist. Once my ex realized that, I was accused of being a sociopath, and that her new therapist agreed with her that I was the cause of all her mental and physical problems. The therapist I had never met, and during her first session.

What truly helped me was individual therapy for myself, and finding a group of people in /r/BPDlovedones who had bizarrely similar experiences to my own over the years. I was pointed there after telling a bit of my story in /r/Divorce and some users suggested I go take a look. It took a lot for me to understand just how toxic the relationship was, and my part in that cycle. Hell, I even had a similar experience in discussing my concerns with her parents, and that being used against me by her.

I also recommend the books Boundaries, and Stop Caretaking the Borderline or Narcissist: How to End the Drama and Get On with Life. Stop Caretaking was probably the best one for giving me concrete examples of how my own behavior and thought patterns were part of the problem.

It took me a long time and many false starts to leave that unhealthy relationship. I wish I had the knowledge, strength, and courage to have done it sooner.

u/Aleph_Null_42 · 6 pointsr/BPDlovedones

Everyone who is divorcing or thinking about divorcing a BPD person should read this book FIRST:

Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder

One of the first things they will do is run to the court with exaggerated claims and file for emergency protective orders. The book covers that and how to deal with it. It also talks about how to choose a lawyer and has advice for your lawyer to read about what they will be dealing with.

u/matthewjfazio · 6 pointsr/BPDlovedones

First off, do yourself a huge favor and read this book.

I was in a similar situation as you-- married 11 years, two kids at about 7 and 9 at the time. Ex-wife didn't have substance abuse issues but she spent and spent-- constantly got angry at me that I "wasn't making enough" despite me making 6 figures and her taking time off to raise the kids and work on her second Masters degree.

I know you're doubting yourself and (like a good father) worry about the effect a divorce will have on your two boys... But let me cut through all the chaff and spell it out for you-- leave. Get out.

You've already acknowledged your possible co-dependency. My experience in giving my ex-wife "one last chance" as she promised to seek treatment back fired on me as she just cemented her relationship with the guy she was cheating on my with and took the time to legally prepare. Don't make the same mistake as I did and give yours that chance.

I can't 100% predict what you'll be after your divorce, but it was a huge relief for me to return to a calm, trouble-free home after work. I believe the removal of such a negative influence on my life (and your boys' lives, too-- let's not kid ourselves, her behavior will effect them if not now then certainly later) that I feel I became a better father to my kids. Not always having to be on the defensive will give you more energy to put back into being a dad. Less arguing in front of the kids because you got 80/20 ground beef instead of 90/10 will be less stressful for them.

If you feel your kids will be in harm's way when you start the process, make sure your attorney and court know this. We have 50/50 visitation and there was a lot of "parental alienation" on the part of my ex-wife (BPDs are "perpetual victims," nothing they did brought them to this point in their lives and everyone is out to get them) which after two years after the divorce was finalized is still going on today.

Now my oldest daughter is 12 and wants to live with me full-time; we'll be returning to court soon to hammer that out. The typical BPD is never thinking about the long-game, and that's why-- if properly handled-- they will always lose.

PM me for more info if you want.

u/MrManBeard · 6 pointsr/WildernessBackpacking

For a complete beginner I usually recommend you pick up a book. There's so much information that it's hard to get anything from Reddit replies. Backpacking becomes a very personal activity after a few years and everyone has different ideas about the best set ups for gear and what not. So start with one of these books and really get an understanding of all the different types of gear. Also if you're in the states and have an REI close by you should see what kind of courses they offer. Most REI's have some kind of free intro to backpacking course. If you're cautious and prepared, going solo is just as safe as going in a group.
The top 3

The Ultimate Hikers Guide

The Backpackers Field Manual

The Complete Walker IV

The first one is probably the most easily digestible. The 3rd is my favorite but that's just because I enjoy the writing style. It's also arguably the most comprehensive.
I'd suggest you grab one or more of those books and start getting an understanding of all the gear. You could start with some easy overnight trip.

Edit: I just want to add, if you've never been backpacking at all you should look into gear rental and plan a quick trip. I've known plenty of people that think they want to do it until they do and they hate it. REI's have gear rental, some colleges have Outdoor Rec departments that rent gear. You could also look for a meetup.com group near you and message them about wanting to learn. I used to go out with a Meetup group and we would always gladly put a bag together for someone wanting to try it out.

u/hubbyofhoarder · 5 pointsr/Divorce

I highly recommend this book:

Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder

It's a quick read, and is seriously helpful.

u/Imthere · 5 pointsr/IAmA

Been there, done that.

How a BPD Love relationship evolves:

http://bpdfamily.com/bpdresources/nk_a101.htm

This is word for word what we went through.

Now we're at this stage:

http://www.amazon.com/Splitting-Protecting-Borderline-Narcissistic-Personality/dp/1608820254/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1321083926&sr=8-1

The start of that book has a list of ~25 or so BPD behaviors in a divorce. She's following 22 of them.

She's working from a script, and you're not part of it.

The person you think you're marrying doesn't exist. No one exists there. Instead, she's little more than a grab-bag collection of needs fears, insecurities, and coping techniques.

I didn't know. You don't have that excuse.

You need her to be in therapy NOW. You both need to go regularly. You MUST go by yourself to a different therapist once a month. That therapist will help you keep your boundaries. A BPD has no boundaries, and without professional help, you will lose your boundaries too.

u/Churn · 5 pointsr/BPDlovedones

During my divorce, my lawyer and I both read the book Splitting. Just as /user/TheRealJongoBongo said, get that book.

https://www.amazon.com/Splitting-Protecting-Borderline-Narcissistic-Personality-ebook/dp/B0056JX46W


> Turn to this guide to help you:

> Predict what your spouse may do or say in court

> Take control of your case with assertiveness and strategic thinking

> Choose a lawyer who understands your case

> Learn how e-mails and social networking can be used against you

u/WCAttorney · 5 pointsr/Divorce

No slap intended at all. My apologies that it was expressed that way.

It's just the process and the reality of it. In my experience, Family court doesn't care, the lawyers don't care, and unless there is photographic evidence someone is beating / abusing the children, the family court kind of dismisses these complaints about the other spouse as emotional background noise, so to speak.

Here's my peptalk for you:
If taking a bunch of raggedy OLD toys and clothes is all it costs to get her out of your house, don't think of it as money lost - then think of it as tuition for the education you are getting - she's teaching you how she will behave in the future. And when people tell show you who they are, believe them. You can look into getting NEW toys and clothes for the kids. Or make it a new activity, you and the kids check out garage sales on the weekends to get replacement toys.

Go for 50-50 shared joint and legal custody and don't accept anything less. The property division, who gets the microwave - it's all bullshit compared to your relationship with your kids. One bit of advice - don't ever move more than short distance away from where your kids are. Stay in their day-to-day lives. It's so super important.

Maybe others have had different experiences, but that's been mine. The higher earner gets screwed and the drama should hopefully all be ironed out within a few years.

At the end of the day, you have to ask yourself, "Is this really worth the cost of what it's doing to me emotionally?"

She's angry, and taking it out on you by trying to grab all the cookies she can. You're absolutely right, the way she is behaving is childish, aggressive, petty, and only serves to make the situation much more hostile. She's wrong for doing that. She and her mother are equating objects and property with value. The kids are the most valuable thing here.

One of life's most basic laws is that every single act of generosity will multiply and return to you many times over. Her actions will have consequences - a good deed is a seed for future kindness; a bad deed is a landmine which will be brought up again and hurt others in the future. She's going to poison her relationship with the kids by these actions, kids aren't stupid.

It sounds like you have been dealing with the emotional rollercoaster for a while. I don't know your situation, but I'd like to suggest you check out the book: https://www.amazon.com/Splitting-Protecting-Borderline-Narcissistic-Personality/dp/1608820254 by Bill Eddy. He's a mediator and it's a fantastic book for explaining why people do the things they do during divorce. I think you'll recognize your ex in a lot of that book.

I completely and totally understand feeling like "WTF?!?! Attorney you're supposed to be fighting for me!!" Here's the reality - the more you want your attorney to fight, the more money they will be charging you and it's a never ending cycle. You can always make more money.

Good luck to you. I am sorry you're going through this. It's like being an emotional burn victim for a couple of years. You carry the scars with you, but you live to fight another day. Sorry for the novel. : )

u/jenkstom · 5 pointsr/NarcAbuseAndDivorce

Most lawyers will do a free initial consult, or low-cost (I paid $100). You haven't even told us if you are the mother or the father.

I know that it can be worked out between the two of you, or in mediation, or in arbitration or in court (at least in Oklahoma). If your narcissist is like mine it will be a crazy-making process. And it's the custody that she is being craziest about. She wants full custody of kids she mostly ignored for years. And it's not outside the realm of possibility that she'll get exactly that. That's a nightmare scenario for me and my kids.

I believe you can gain a lot of advantage by carefully planning before filing anything or telling your co-parent anything. There's a book called "Splitting" (Eddy and Kreger) that covers how to divorce a narcissist. Not that you are divorcing, but it should give you some good advice.

The gist of it is that your co-parent will use your emotional vulnerabilities against you. You have to stay calm and appear to be the sane one. Thankfully that makes narcissists crazy, so there is some advantage.

u/1978_anon_guy · 5 pointsr/BPDlovedones

> Has anyone wrote an email or letter to his/her SO (ex or not) AND SENT IT, and gotten a positive result from it?

Yes. But not in the way you'd expect. I've gotten a response where she wrote down a lot of paranoid accusations after I emailed her a well thought out explanation of the multiple reasons (with documented historical incidents for each reason) we can't be together.

Among other things she accused me of planning to murder her and being a Moriarty-level criminal mastermind. LOL.

Very delusional and paranoid "fantasies".

That email reply from her is an exhibit in divorce court in the child custody case.

So yes, you could say it had an unanticipated positive effect in cutting a potentially long, drawn out process of proving that she's got mental health issues and is not a fit parent.

TLDR: Email response from STBX extremely useful in showing divorce court that she's paranoid and delusional, cutting to the chase in my custody fight.

Other than what I've written above, nothing good can come from emailing your undiagnosed BPD ex.

Also whatever you do, do not admit any fault in writing for anything you did or did not do OK?

She will use that in court against you in the child custody case.

One other thing, just FYI. There is no hope in having an amicable divorce with your BPD ex. It will be pure hell (* I'm you, only 6 months into the divorce process, divorce will take at least 1 year if not 2 or 3)

I recommend getting and reading this book Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder in addition to Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care About Has Borderline Personality Disorder

u/DSettahr · 4 pointsr/CampingandHiking

There's absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to do something like this, but a trip this ambitious is a lot more likely to be successful if you work up to it. Yes, people have managed to complete long distance trails before with minimal experience prior to starting out, but I'd say that the odds are probably stacked against you in this case (especially since the Finger Lakes Trail doesn't really have the trail community and support network of more well-known trails like the Appalachian Trail- you can't get a professional gear shake down and purchase new equipment on the FLT 4 days into the trip like you can on the AT). You'd be well-advised to at least do a few weekend shake down trips, and perhaps 1 or 2 longer 4 or 5 day trips prior to attempting the FLT from end to end. The reason for this is that backpacking is a lot of trial and error when you're starting out- figuring out what works for you and what doesn't. You don't want to be 20 miles into a 500 mile hike when you find out that your shoes that felt OK worn around the block give you massive blisters after 5 miles on the trail, that your pack that felt comfortable when worn in your living room is torture after 4 hours on your back, that your stove doesn't work well in certain conditions, that your food isn't giving you the energy you thought it would, that your pack's rain cover is useless in a torrential down pour, so on and so forth. All of these are common issues that beginner backpackers often end up having to address at one point or another.

The Finger Lakes Trail is a good place to start with easier trips, though, because there's a bunch of places you can camp on the trail that are a relatively short hike in from the road (1 or 2 miles or less). If you go to the FLT website, they have an interactive map of the trail that will help you to find campsites and plan your trip. You can also order maps from the website. (I highly recommend at least using the interactive map, taking a screen shot, and then printing it so that you have a physical map with you to use for navigation. Many areas of the FLT don't have good cell reception, so you can't rely on being able to pull up the map on the FLT website if you find yourself turned around in the woods.) Picking a destination to camp at that isn't a very far hike in allows you to build experience without putting yourself outside your comfort zone or ability level. If things get bad enough that you need to bail, having a short hike back to your car makes it easy to do so without much difficulty.

Most of the camping options on the FLT are on NYSDEC State Forest land. Make sure you take the time to familiarize with the DEC's regulations for hiking and camping. Additionally, you should also take the time to read through and understand the Leave No Trace principles. This is really important, as there is a lot more to minimizing our impact in the backcountry as hikers and campers than just carrying our trash out with us.

In terms of hiking the entire FLT in one go, a few things to keep in mind are that the FLT doesn't see a lot of end-to-end hikers (maybe 5-10 in a year), and accordingly doesn't really have the same culture associated with more popular trails like the AT (this may or may not be a consideration important to you). There's also fewer resources for thru-hikers generally along the trail so some careful planning is needed. While most of the trail is complete, there are some lengthy road-walking sections where your feet will be on pavement for the better part of a day at times. There are a number of stretches of the trail on private property that are closed to public access during the spring and fall hunting seasons. And while there are some scenic destinations along the way, the trail predominantly passes through rolling hillsides dotted with farms and state reforestation areas (and much of the later is plantations of spruces, pine, and larch). It does at times drop into hollows with cascading streams and there are some nice waterfalls here and there, but the trail is generally lacking in areas of outstanding scenery (like the whites or the smokies on the AT). Perhaps the best attribute of the FLT are the opportunities for solitude- much of the trail gets relatively little use, and you'll likely be camped alone most nights as a thru-hiker. (I personally greatly enjoy hiking and camping on the FLT for this reason.)

As an alternative to the FLT that would afford a more "traditional" long distance hike (if that's what you desire), I might suggest considering Vermont's Long Trail. The southern half of it coincides with the AT so you'll get to experience part of that community if you time your trip so that you hike with the thru-hiker bubble. And there's quite a few mountain summits across the full length of the Long Trail that provide spectacular views. The Long Trail is substantially more rugged than the FLT, though.

There's a ton of info on backpacking gear and techniques online that can easily be found through some google searches. If you want a book, I highly recommend Colin Fletcher's The Complete Walker IV (you can probably get it at your library through inter-library loan if you don't want to purchase it). The book goes into a great amount of detail about all different kinds of gear, including discussion of the pros and cons of different types/models of equipment.

I hope this is helpful! :)

u/thymidine · 4 pointsr/reddit.com

I've been backpacking since I was about 13 and have built up a lot of general skills through that. My favorite book on backpacking in general is The Complete Walker by Colin Fletcher. It's a little out of date but the overall advice he gives is timeless.

As far as specific AT stuff goes, I got a bunch of books but none of them have been nearly as helpful as reading the articles on whiteblaze.net. One of the best articles describes how to resupply along the trail without using many mail drops. Buying food as you go drastically cuts down on the logistical challenge of the hike. I also got a copy of the Through Hiker's Companion to take with me.

The best thing about the AT is that it has such a good infrastructure for long-distance hikers that you really don't need to know a whole lot before starting out. That's one of the main reasons I decided to do the AT instead of the PCT. With the AT, you can just go and plan as you go along. The PCT is a lot more remote and challenging from what I've heard.

Anyway, best of luck in your planning. I'm not an expert backpacker by any means but if you have any more questions, just let me know and I'd be happy to help.

u/obesityaddiction · 4 pointsr/fatlogic

here's the three things that have changed my life as far as running goes...I've been addicted since about 1999.

  1. The Beginners Runner Handbook http://www.amazon.com/The-Beginning-Runners-Handbook-13-Week/dp/1553650875 takes you from couch to 10k in 13 weeks.

  2. The book Born to Run by Chris McDougal. Pretty good argument that running is why we are here and is in your DNA. One of the most inspiring books I've ever read.

  3. Minimalist shoes. Even barefoot running on the grass. This may not be for everyone but once I got into this all the nagging injuries I carried for years vanished. This one's still controversial but its worked wonders for me. You talk about walking like a T-rex, a big reason people do this is the big marshmellow shoes a lot of people wear. Once you go back to your natural, no shoed gait, your body automatically corrects itself to use the natural suspension in your feet, ankles, knees and hips instead of crashing down on the heel.
u/attackoftheack · 4 pointsr/flexibility

Lots to unpack here but let me give you two main concepts to ponder that I do not believe anyone has addressed thus far.

  1. An ankle can only be mobile on a strong platform. That means foot strength is paramount to ankle mobility.

  2. Overworked calves that are usually a result of having weak glutes that is usually a result of being seated are another frequent offending party when it comes to ankle mobility. If your calves are busy trying to be your ass, they're always going to be tight, overworked, and holding on for dear life.

    So you can stretch all you want but until you assess the problem and likely strengthen your intrinsic foot muscles and strengthen glute muscles you are probably going to be fighting a losing battle.

    Foot strength ideas. Go barefoot more often, play foot games like moving marbles with your feet, splaying toes, etc or using toe spreaders like CorrectToes or the much cheaper ones I posted below. Follow GaitHappens on Instagram for more ideas.

    Glute strength ideas. Open hip flexors, strength train glutes - single leg glute bridges, hip thrusts, RDLs, kettlebell swings especially banded swings (done properly from the hinge and not a squat), sumo deadlifts, pistol squats, skater squats, etc.

    You would be the exception if you were a guy that was in the military and had to be in combat boots all the time or a figure skater that is in ice skates all the time. Even for these situations, the foot muscles would likely still be weak from being in shoe prisons and the calves and quads would still probably be more dominant than the glutes.

    Tldr: Assess where the weak areas are - you have a dorsiflexion assessment but have not tested foot strength and dexterity. You can test tib anterior strength by walking with on your heels with your toes extended (lifted). You can also palpate the muscle to see if it's hypertonic.

    My first step would be going barefoot more often and spending $5 on these toe spreaders. Those things will only serve to help even if they are not the only problem. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0713S97J5/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_8pkCCbWP0A15W

    Link to GaitHappens
    https://instagram.com/gaithappens?utm_source=ig_profile_share&igshid=1xoed36orisgm

    Link to Katy Bowman's book on the foot. Whole Body Barefoot.
    Whole Body Barefoot: Transitioning Well to Minimal Footwear https://www.amazon.com/dp/0989653986/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_xfkCCb7QPWPP3

    Dr Stuart McGill has more info on foot strength or what he calls "foot athleticism" in his book The Gift of Injury.
    Gift of Injury https://www.amazon.com/dp/0973501863/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_IskCCbCHDSXZP
u/DreamHappy · 4 pointsr/relationship_advice

I agree, sounds like BPD with a mix of other things.
Check out the book:
Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder

u/tossit9999 · 4 pointsr/Divorce

BPD is really tough and creates its own set of issues with divorcing. You need to prepare yourself and there are some great resources that can help get you through this. I'd suggest two books, which are both quick reads: Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone With BPD or NPD and Stop Caretaking the Borderline or Narcissist. Document everything and keep a daily journal of events including care of the children. Learn everything you can about BPD and how to help your kids through this. Do not expect cooperation but be thankful when and if it happens. Best of luck to you - it's a tough road and I'm also starting the same journey.

u/Theworldwalk · 3 pointsr/IAmA

Probably three grand worth of starting gear. Shoes would normally be around $50 a pop in Central and South American, thankfully I have a friend mailing me shoes so I'm spared that expense.

Check out this book. A little dated, but very useful stuff inside.

u/clutchguy84 · 3 pointsr/Ultramarathon

The definitive guide to all things foot related. NFI

Fixing Your Feet: Injury Prevention and Treatments for Athletes https://www.amazon.com/dp/0899978304/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_IlHrDb4PJ3JXC

u/saythereshope · 3 pointsr/BPDlovedones

I'm so sorry.

Purchase and read Splitting from cover to cover before you do anything. When you initiate the split, things will get worse and you need to know how to protect yourself.

>I'm starting to wonder if I have BPD

You don't have BPD. At worst, it's very common to 'catch fleas' from your BPD partner. If you leave, your BPD-like symptoms will diminish. I would also suggest therapy once you're out.

u/non4prophet · 3 pointsr/StLouis

I'm out hiking every chance I get. I've done most of the [60 hikes in 60 miles] (http://www.amazon.com/Hikes-Within-Miles-Including-Farmington/dp/0897328833?ie=UTF8&*Version*=1&*entries*=0). I'm interested in exploring other close by states and plan some hikes further out, as well. I started a St. Louis hiking sub over here: /r/StLouisHiking/. I haven't posted much over there, but I was hoping it could be a place to help inspire other locals to get out and see the sites. Also considering joining a local meetup hiking group.

u/SickSalamander · 3 pointsr/CampingandHiking

I grew up in the St. Louis area and spent my youth backpacking in the Missouri Ozarks. While I will say i am quite glad I moved away from the flatlands, there is some good hiking to be had in the Ozarks. Hawn State Park has a nice 10 mi loop that was probably my most done weekend backpack. The Ozark Tail (different than the OHT) is becoming more and more completed every year. I especially like the sections around Taum Sauk Mountain. The Berryman Trail is about 25 miles and makes a nice backpack if you don't mind mountain bikers lapping you all the time.

The last two are just day hikes less than a couple miles, but worth mentioning. The Devil's Rock Pile (officially Hughes Mountain) is a super cool area. And The Gulf pic 2 is the single coolest place in missouri...if you can find it...hahaha. Good luck with that.

This book has most of the hikes I recommended in it as well as others. I've heard good things about the Hiking Missouri book also.

u/[deleted] · 3 pointsr/VIRGINIA_HIKING

AMC's Best Backpacking in the Mid-Atlantic: A Guide To 30 Of The Best Multiday Trips From New York To Virginia https://www.amazon.com/dp/193402886X/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_w9BRBbF0HDNER

The Trout Valley hike from this guide is really close to you. Trail head is near intersection of 66 & 81.

Here’s an online guide to that hike.

http://midatlantichikes.com/troutrunvalley.htm

Book does it clockwise and the online guide goes counter clockwise. I did the hike a month ago. I can see the advantages to either way.

I’m on vacation and don’t have that AMC book on me, but there’s a loop that has you summit several mountains in the southern section of Shenandoah that is one of my favorites. It’s very easy to scale that trip based on how many days you have or how many miles you can do in a day.

I’ve done a variation with my wife that was two days, two nights, ~25 miles, and a another solo three day, two nighter of ~50 miles. You gain and lose a ton of elevation in this part of the park. So, careful with how many miles you plan per day.

Loop has you summit Trayfoot, Furnace, and Blackrock mountains at a minimum.

Highly recommend that AMC book. Great maps with camp spot and water info for every trip.

If you too cheap for a proper guide, this is a decent list:

https://www.desktodirtbag.com/best-hikes-in-virginia/

DC Ultralight’s Meetup page can also you give ideas. I’m not a member but have used their trips for ideas for my own hikes.

https://www.meetup.com/DC-UL-Backpacking/

u/HappyTodayIndeed · 3 pointsr/raisedbyborderlines

I got the name of the book wrong. It's this one:
https://www.amazon.com/Splitting-Protecting-Borderline-Narcissistic-Personality/dp/1608820254

You can do a search for high-conflict divorces on BPD loved ones. I lurk there occasionally, but never post. I don't think it would be safe.

u/throwaway_circus · 3 pointsr/raisedbynarcissists

Bill Eddy has a great book called "Splitting," about divorcing people with personality disorders. His website also has useful information.

u/NeuralHijacker · 3 pointsr/Divorce
  1. Get this book https://www.amazon.com/Splitting-Protecting-Borderline-Narcissistic-Personality/dp/1608820254 read it, and follow the instructions

  2. Get a lawyer who understands the behaviour patterns. My first one didn't and kept expecting XW to be reasonable. This failed. My new lawyer took one look at her communications, said "you will never, ever reason with this person" and has helped me get it to court asap. Mediation etc is fine for two normal people who are having difficulties communicating because they are dealing with the emotional fallout of a marriage ending. If one of those people has a PD, it's generally a total waste of time (unless you have a specialist mediator, I suppose).

  3. Get a counsellor who has experience helping people recover from narcissistic abuse. The sooner you start seeing her the better.

  4. Expect hell. Your STBX will lie, cheat, blame to a far greater extent once they know the game is up. But as Churchill said - if you're going through hell, keep going.

  5. Take notes and evidence constantly. Cross reference things. N's are quite convincing liars on the surface, but they have trouble maintaining consistency . That's where you trip them up in conjunction with your lawyer

  6. NEVER, EVER suggest to them or the court that they have a PD. That will go very badly for you. You're not qualified to make that diagnosis, and it may turn the court against you. Instead just focus on patterns of behaviour.

  7. I found this book very useful - it's a book on philosophy which is great for dealing with situations where you have very little power. https://www.amazon.com/Guide-Good-Life-Ancient-Stoic/dp/0195374614

  8. Get your family and friends and support network in place before you make your move. Warn them that your STBX may play the victim and try and manipulate them. My XW took to messaging and calling my business partner's wife constantly in an effort to turn him against me. It caused me some problems initially, but we have it sorted now.
u/neuro_exo · 3 pointsr/Biomechanics

Hell yeah. Sorry for replying 2 months after you posted, but this book by Thomas McMahon will rock your socks off. I did rehab biomechanics/robotic exoskeleton development, and this book has it all, minus overviews of clinical issues/approaches to rehab. If you want that, this book is fantastic.

u/Rodin95 · 3 pointsr/backpacking

As for food, you can't go wrong with Mountain House.

Some pointers:

Do bring duct tape. Great for blisters and many other things.

Do put Fresh batteries before your hike

Do pack a Mini bic lighter

Don't pack too heavy. Visit r/ultralight for ideas on how to reduce pack weight. Try to be under 45-50 lbs. you can hike more miles, and your trip will be more enjoyable.

Do not wear brand new shoe/boots. Break them in.

Don't wear cotton

Do Know how to read a topo map and triangulate your location.

Do carry an Essential 10

Do let people know where you are going.

A great book for beginners is The Complete Walker by Colin Fletcher.

http://www.amazon.com/Complete-Walker-IV-Colin-Fletcher/dp/0375703233/ref=sr_1_1/180-6869170-5187653?ie=UTF8&qid=1420102640&sr=8-1&keywords=complete+walker

I don't know how old you are, your life experience, or if you are male/female, so I can't really advise you whether or not it's a good idea to go it alone. Maturity and common sense definitely be required. Welcome to Backpacking. It's a beautiful hobby that will provide meaningful memories to last a lifetime..



"I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life..."

Henry David Thoreau










u/TyrellCorpWorker · 3 pointsr/pics

Love those steps.
This is a pretty good book to have if you find yourself with some time on your hands in SF... Stairway Walks http://www.amazon.com/Stairway-Walks-Francisco-Adah-Bakalinsky/dp/0899976379

u/blarggggggggggg · 3 pointsr/askMRP

What's stopping you from moving all your shit into a storage space RIGHT NOW to keep it safe from her and finding somewhere else to stay until you can find a new job? Then you can move and persue divorce at that point.

Use credit card if you don't have the cash saved, get out NOW and get out FAST.

Read http://www.amazon.com/Splitting-Protecting-Borderline-Narcissistic-Personality/dp/1608820254. Good luck.

u/wellvis · 3 pointsr/sanfrancisco

511 is your friend. Interesting day trips may include visiting Half Moon Bay, Santa Cruz (the Beach Boardwalk is lots of fun), Muir Woods, and/or Berkeley (there's a very interesting flea market at the Ashby BART station parking lot on weekends).
Don't forget the ferries to Angel Island, Alameda, or Sausalito.

Also check out the book Stairway Walks in San Francisco. We got this book as a gift and it's been a fascinating set of hikes through obscure neighborhoods.

u/Spookied · 3 pointsr/yoga

To be honest mate (this is coming from a guy who's practiced yoga for +5 years) the strength gains you can get from yoga, unless you thinking of turning into a full time yogi, are only really complimentary.

If you want to get your strength back try every other day a few rotations of each sun salutation then spend 30-40 mins performing explosive calisthenics. 4 sets, 12 reps 1.5 mins between and at least one exercise per body part, I'd recommend push-ups dolphin push ups, burpees, russian twists, dips etc. After this start winding down into a continuous, gentle flow of each exercise and then performing a relaxed yogic sequence. If you do this every other day (or every third day) you'll see strength very soon!

But in terms of daily yoga, I found this book to be the book/pdf to get/download. But in all honesty, the internet is the greatest resource out there; search yoga sequences or the sun salutations and then look up each posture on youtube/ articles. Most branches of yoga share postures like hippies share love, if you focus on the postures at first and get a feel of them in a gentle and playful way and then experiment with the over-arching methods of each style (Ashtanga, Hatha and the such) you will soon find yourself tailoring your practice to your being, and not the other way around. But practicing a well rounded sequence for even 45 mins each day would serve most purposes, though more couldn't hurt!

For a mat, I swear by Manduka mats, they are a VERY solid brand. But having said this I practiced on the floor for a year using a rolled up vest for a belt without any problems. One thing I would suggest (and this might only be a personal suggestion!) if you do go for a mat I would advise against getting a 'sticky' starter mat, they distort yogis' posture more than should be happening - go with a normal mat and let your muscles build and strengthen into the pose.

Just some thoughts for you, Hope they help some. Please don't hesitate to pm me if you want anything else, the world of yoga can be a bit of an odd place to navigate! Either way have fun, peace!

u/the_mad_scientist · 3 pointsr/IAmA

Thanks again. The Complete Walker is now updated to the 4th edition, printed in 2002. It looks really good and I'm adding that to my library.

u/YoureWelcomeSix · 3 pointsr/army
u/MetacognitiveMan · 3 pointsr/asktrp

Check out Stop Walking on Eggshells.

I'll be completely honest with you. Leaving her may be the easier path in the long run. If you decide to divorce, check out Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

u/jcook793 · 3 pointsr/AskSF

Hello fellow newcomer! My wife and I have lived here about the same amount of time. I bought her Stairway Walks in San Francisco for Christmas and it has taken us to some fascinating places this past week. Highly recommended!

u/partialbigots · 2 pointsr/CampingandHiking

I recommend picking up a copy of the AMC's best Mid-Atlantic backpacking trip book: https://www.amazon.com/AMCs-Best-Backpacking-Mid-Atlantic-Multiday/dp/193402886X

Has 30 trips from easy to advanced skill level and a good variety all over the Mid-Atlantic with turn-by-turn instructions and general insight on the area. Shenandoah is also a great place to go if you're in DC. (My girlfriend and I go all the time.) On their site, they have pre-planned trips that are great for people just getting started.

u/rrb · 2 pointsr/CampingandHiking

Congratulations on moving to Seattle, you are going to love it as a hiker. When you say an overnight hike, do you mean backpack in, camp, and hike back out? If so, there are so many good ones. I would try going a little farther, and going to Olympic National Park and doing Hurricane Ridge.

If you haven't gotten this book already: http://www.amazon.com/60-Hikes-Within-Miles-Including/dp/0897326954 it is a really nice one that has some trails that people don't know about.

u/muddy-shoes · 2 pointsr/MGTOW

This book really helped me. "Splitting..." by Randi Kreiger and Bill Eddy.

https://www.amazon.com/Splitting-Protecting-Borderline-Narcissistic-Personality-ebook/dp/B0056JX46W/ref=tmm_kin_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1511839685&sr=8-1

And like those before said: lawyer up. The book gives good advice on how to pick a good lawyer. It also talks about the games people play and coping with them.

Don't let her bully you into compromise. Your kids are worth having monetarily and so she won't poison them against you.

Good luck.

u/razzertto · 2 pointsr/MapPorn

Only the low part is flat. Mostly it's rocky. There are mountains on both sides of the valley that are spectacular. As for heat, yeah, it's hot in summer and it's hot on the valley floor most days because the air sinks down there and there's almost no wind there. However, if you get into one of the canyons it's pretty pleasant. I still wouldn't visit in the dead of summer but anytime from October - April is going to be rather manageable.

I was just there in March and it was warm but lovely. The thing is, that most of the foliage is sparse so you're not crushing delicate plants underfoot off trail. There are thousands and thousands of slot canyons and to walk into. You can get a guide and go exploring on your own, there are miles and miles of 4WD roads that lead to little used portions of the park, and there are endless walks to be had. Even if you're in established hiking areas there are side trails that many never bother with, here's a picture from Zabriskie Point you can walk anywhere amongst those formations (except where warned about mines) and just have a look around. Few people get off the beaten trail because they think it's not worth it or it'll be dangerous.

Once you're off the main areas all you need is a topo map, food, and ample water and you're pretty much set. It's real freedom in the park. On some of the little used portions, areas, you might not see anyone at all if you don't want to. The silence and desolation of the park is perfection. Unlike anything else, really.

Here's a book that has all of the non-mainstream hikes to do (plus the regular ones too). <-Not an affiliate link.

u/JohnnySuburbs · 2 pointsr/arizonatrail

There's a good book by Charles Liu called "60 Hikes Within 60 Miles: Phoenix: Including Tempe, Scottsdale, and Glendale"

http://www.amazon.com/Hikes-Within-Miles-Including-Scottsdale/dp/0897326881

... full of great stuff for all skill levels.

u/incogblanco · 2 pointsr/Outdoors
u/melatonia · 2 pointsr/yoga

One book that I refer to again and again ( a few years of practice but no formal background at all) is Yoga Bible

u/superjentendo · 2 pointsr/hiking

We are in the St. Louis area!
My favorite book at the moment
60 Hikes Within 60 Miles: St. Louis: Including Sullivan, Potosi, and Farmington - (https://www.amazon.com/dp/0897328833/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_4v4xxbMWRGZKB)

Hope that helps ya some!

u/SmurfSpank · 2 pointsr/Ultralight

I can get blisters walking to the store and back. It was the hardest part of learning to backpack.

Keep your feet as dry as possible. Lubricate your feet and put duct tape on any hot spots as soon as you notice them. The lubricant will stop the duct tape from working though, so the balance there is an art. Seems good to duct tape then put lubricant over top. Basically, this solved my problem. Powders can help because they absorb moisture.

Many swear by lukotape but mine's still in the mail, haven't tested it yet. Duct tape is cheap and you probably already own some.

I read this, it was very helpful if you need more information:

https://www.amazon.ca/Fixing-Your-Feet-Prevention-Treatments/dp/0899978304/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1475083000&sr=1-1

u/finally_safe_from_Ns · 2 pointsr/narcsinthewild

I’m so sorry for how hard your life is with this man. You are living on eggshells! You deserve freedom.

I highly recommend the book “splitting“ - it will help you keep yourself safe if/when you undertake the difficult process of leaving a narcissist.

https://www.amazon.com/Splitting-Protecting-Borderline-Narcissistic-Personality/dp/1608820254

Good luck! You can do this! I highly recommend posting over on /r/narcissisticabuse



u/dietfig · 2 pointsr/CampingandHiking

I'd either buy or borrow a copy from your library of The Complete Walker IV and read it. That should help you get started.

Here are some things I carry that aren't on your list:

  • Rope or 550 paracord
  • Matches and a butane lighter
  • Survival/repair kit, which is a space blanket, garbage bag, signal mirror, magnesium striker, more matches, seam sealer, patch kit for my pad, and iodine tablets
  • Water filter
  • GPS, topo maps, plotter, and golf pencil and notepad
  • Headlamp
  • Scotch-brite pad for cleaning pot
  • REI shammie towel
  • Dry sack for sleeping bag and stuff sacks for everything else
  • Bug spray and sunscreen, if needed
  • Extra batteries for GPS and headlamp
  • Rain gear
u/--wintermute · 2 pointsr/madisonwi

This is a great book that should keep you busy.

60 Hikes Within 60 Miles

u/someshiteclevername · 2 pointsr/PacificCrestTrail

https://www.amazon.com/Complete-Walker-IV-Colin-Fletcher/dp/0375703233
Everything you ever wanted to know about walking (hiking).

u/CactusJ · 2 pointsr/AskSF

Hundreds of stairways traverse San Francisco’s 42 hills, exposing incredible vistas while connecting colorful, unique neighborhoods, and veteran guide Adah Bakalinsky loves them all. Her updated Stairway Walks in San Francisco explores clandestine corridors from Lands End to Bernal Heights while sharing captivating architectural, historical, pop culture, and horticultural notes along the way. Long-term locals and tourists alike have used the book for over 25 years to adventurously uncover San Francisco’s unexpected details. This revised and expanded edition has been thoroughly updated and includes three additional walks, new maps, and new color photographs. A comprehensive appendix lists every one of the city's 600-plus public stairways.

https://www.amazon.com/Stairway-Walks-Francisco-Adah-Bakalinsky/dp/0899976379

u/PoundNaCL · 2 pointsr/AppalachianTrail
u/jkgibson1125 · 2 pointsr/survivinginfidelity

Are you divorcing? Or were you never married?

If so look into this book:

Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder

https://www.amazon.com/dp/1608820254/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_r2vRBb2RFAE9T

u/wikiscootia · 2 pointsr/relationship_advice

I recommend waiting until the divorce is done. This book helped me get out of similar position with as little damage as possible. https://www.amazon.com/Splitting-Protecting-Borderline-Narcissistic-Personality/dp/1608820254

u/SaraFist · 2 pointsr/Random_Acts_Of_Amazon

This would be super handy during our wet Portland winters, and help me keep up with my daily walks while keeping babydude warm and dry.

OR we also like to camp and hike, so this or this hiking guides (or even both!) would be awesome for when we're at home, or out camping.

u/I_love_Mark_Lilly · 2 pointsr/StLouis

All good suggestions in this thread. I've been giving this book as a gift a lot lately and it's nice to have when deciding where to drive the next day:


u/divorcein2013 · 2 pointsr/Divorce

I am in a very similar situation at the moment. We started out in mediation and I believed it was for the kids benefit that I do the every other weekend routine (or, if I decided to take her generous offer, every weekend).

Once I asked for 50% parenting time she completely flipped. I have had several emails where she accuses me of being a danger to the children and recently she threatened to try and take out a restraining order after I drove off when she started to yell at me and charge up to my car to continue to yell at me.

I have several examples of her poor and contradictory behavior in email, and my lawyer has the same information now too. She has reported that she doesn't have enough money to run the A/C in the house, but that same weekend she got a matching tattoo with her boyfriend. She has even gone as far to contact my new girlfriend behind my back to arrange a meeting "for the kids". I am happy that my girlfriend is a licensed therapist and can not only see through her manipulation, but can also help me remain calm and vet my emails so that they follow the BIFF statement detailed in another comment here.

I live in a single party notification state, so I keep audio recordings of each and every verbal conversation so she can't misrepresent the situation after the fact.

In order to keep yourself balanced, make sure you surround yourself with good friends and talk to them. Seeing a therapist is also a good step and will be a positive item to the court. As she loses control over you and you quit reacting to her she will become more angry and more manipulative. Be careful as she will use others against you. Emails which are quite benign that I have sent have been answered with 2 page long invective's that repeat how I am a poor father and that I am snide, condescending and that I am constantly angry.

I recently picked up the following book from the library:
Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder
http://www.amazon.com/Splitting-Protecting-Borderline-Narcissistic-Personality/dp/1608820254

I have yet to finish it, but it has good information on how you should act, how to help yourself and your lawyer. You will be insulted in court, she will try to make you look like a poor father. The best defense it to know you are a good father and that you can show you are taking the high road.

I'm sorry you have to go through this, it is tough to have someone you thought had your best interests in mind to turn around and attack you with the intimate knowledge of your life. But this is really about protecting yourself and being the best you can be for your children.

I wish you luck.

u/twofiddle · 2 pointsr/onebag

A lightbulb went on in my head you said about your Achilles tendon, because yeah, that went nuts on me when I transitioned to zero-drop shoes, so I know exactly what you're talking about when it comes to wearing them when hiking up steep inclines. It's PAINFUL!

For what it's worth...

Transitioning to minimalist shoes is a months-long process. (Katy Bowman has an awesome and useful short book about it, which I found very helpful and recommend, Whole Body Barefoot: Transitioning Well to Minimal Footwear.)

Thankfully, there is a whole world of options along the spectrum between approach shoes and boots. Trail runners don't have to be minimalist or zero-drop. In fact, most aren't. For example, the Brooks Cascadia is one of the most popular shoes among Appalachian Trail thru-hikers and has a significant heel-to-toe drop.

I just share all this because if you love hiking, trail runners truly are amazing, and it sounds like they would help a great deal with your packing problems (which is one of their benefits).

u/GoatInTheShell · 2 pointsr/Seattle

We did Dirty Harry's Peak yesterday. Highest elevation is over 4600 feet. It was pretty challenging, but we had perfect weather and the view above the clouds at the top was worth it.

We found it in the 60 Hikes Within 60 Miles: Seattle book, which I like a lot.

u/janetsnakeh0le · 2 pointsr/TwoXChromosomes

This is sort of tangential advice, but he (and you, too) might be interested in this book. Divorces can be very messy, but tons of people go through them and survive, and there are many professionals who are used to dealing with high conflict personalities.

u/spottedredfish · 2 pointsr/NarcissisticAbuse

Awesome post and great comments, some really good advice all around.

Well done on getting this far friend.

This book may be useful to your right now

u/Snottygobbler · 2 pointsr/BPDlovedones

Some good ideas here already.

I'd additionally recommend Splitting, by the author of Walking on Eggshells.

https://www.amazon.com/Splitting-Protecting-Borderline-Narcissistic-Personality/dp/1608820254

The advice to proceed as though she is borderline I think is sound, it's a hope for the best, but prepare for the worst tactic that can protect you. The advice to lawyer up is good I think, especially since you are able to take custody, best to start on collating data for that now. It's good you have other people behind you, stat decs from them will be invaluable, the more direct quotes statements contain, and precise dates and times, the better.


Hopefully Batmanrebirthed weighs in here, he has been in this situation and his kid seems to have weathered it well, now in his teens, and doing well in terms of friends and coping skills. He divorced a raging psycho too. It can be done and the kids are A-OK (get some therapy for them anyhow IMO, could work for you in court), you sound resourceful and smart, which gives you better odds.


As wife20yrs says, kids complicates the situation and there's no right answers. But if she breaks you the kids have noone making sensible decisions for them. So even if you only get partial custody, at least they have someone stable, sensible weighing in on decisions.

Keep writing stuff out, even the things you write here may be useful. Dates, times, direct quotes, corroborating witnesses.

Don't envy you man, stay around, write - get it out of your head and on to paper, but maybe recycle usernames in case she snoops on your devices.

u/halloweenjack · 2 pointsr/army

Great advice. FYI, John Vonhof has a new edition of Fixing Your Feet.

u/dday_throwaway3 · 2 pointsr/Divorce

> I walk around on eggshells all the time.

That key phrase is important. You might be dealing with a borderline personality disorder spouse. I highly recommend you read the book Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care about Has Borderline Personality Disorder. If that resonates with you, then read the follow up book Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

Forget dating until after divorce. You need time to heal, and rushing back into a relationship too soon will make you vulnerable to a predator.

As far as guilt goes, marriage takes two committed spouses. Those vows are not one sided. So stop feeling guilty you're the only one trying to uphold them.

u/laughterandtears · 2 pointsr/Divorce

Get your own lawyer and put a temporary agreement in place. Don't ever talk to her lawyer about anything.

And read this book: http://www.amazon.com/Splitting-Protecting-Borderline-Narcissistic-Personality/dp/1608820254

u/crick2000 · 1 pointr/CampingandHiking
u/mythrowaway612 · 1 pointr/NarcissisticAbuse

I wish I had read this book earlier. Despite having a restraining order my STBX has been launching social media attacks against me. Brace yourself because it's likely going to get worse before it gets better. There are a lot of triggers in a divorce that set off someone with NPD. Most recently a judge had to compel her to sign her paperwork which set off an online rant against me.

u/ninjakitchen · 1 pointr/StLouis

Saint Louis born and raised! I'll give you everything I've got. Sorry if I repeat what has already been said.

I grew up in the Saint Louis metropolitan area myself. (As a matter of fact, lived in Ferguson until I was 18!) As a young child, my fondest memories were visiting the [Zoo] (http://www.stlzoo.org/), [Science Center] (http://www.slsc.org/), [Art Museum] (http://www.slam.org/), [Lone Elk Park] (http://www.stlouisco.com/ParksandRecreation/ParkPages/LoneElk), all of which boast free admission. Saint Louis also has fairs, celebrations and events of some sort or other almost constantly (see [here] (http://explorestlouis.com/visit-explore/events/events-calendar/) for St Louis general events calendar.) The [Missouri Botanical Garden] (http://www.missouribotanicalgarden.org/) hosts a showcase every year about sustainable living, which might be relevant to you and your family. There are also 10+ local farmers' markets, including the famous and longstanding [Soulard Farmer's Market] (http://www.soulardmarket.com/). As yet, the Farmer's Markets are relatively small compared to what I've seen in other cities. But they are growing every year.

A classmate at WU who has lived in several large metropolis areas around the US reported that Saint Louis is by far the best place for him and his family of wife and 2 small children. He cited the numerous green spaces, free museums and parks, kid-friendly events, and low cost of living as the main reasons.

I'll tell you the same thing I tell friends that visit and new transplants: Saint Louis has a lot to offer, but it is not going to hit you over the head with it the way a large city like LA or NYC will. You have to go out and explore. Case in point, just yesterday I was walking through my own neighborhood and stumbled across a 2 acre quaint Seminary campus that I had no idea existed but was filled with beautiful architecture and green space.

Some great places to go hiking are [Castlewood] (http://mostateparks.com/park/castlewood-state-park) [Babler] (http://mostateparks.com/park/dr-edmund-babler-memorial-state-park), and [Shaw Nature Reserve] (http://www.missouribotanicalgarden.org/visit/family-of-attractions/shaw-nature-reserve.aspx), to start. These and many other hiking spots can be found within a 60 minute drive from metropolitan St. Louis. For a more extensive hiking/outdoor destinations I recommend the book [60 Hikes Within 60 Miles of St. Louis] (http://www.amazon.com/Hikes-Within-Miles-Including-Farmington/dp/0897328833).

As far as the organic living goes, there is room for development in that arena. We are not Portland or Oakland, so to imagine something like that would be setting your expectations too high. However, we have 2 Whole Foods with another one on the way, which indicates to me that there is interest in patronizing 'holistic' and sustainable agriculture. I learned from a cashier at the Brentwood Whole Foods that the traffic at the Brentwood location has blown the minds of Whole Foods executives because originally the Whole Foods execs insisted the "demographics of the city are wrong, the store will fail in Saint Louis." It is now one of the best performing stores in the midwest. That says something about where this city is going, I think (I hope).

If you want to be active with other children in the community, I would tentatively suggest looking into Clayton. Very good schools, many families with young children, very safe area. Just last night I attended the Shaw Park Food Truck Sunday (in Clayton), and almost every family in attendance had a child between the ages of 1 and 12. The city is one of the most walkable in Saint Louis, has biking trails/bike friendly streets, and is very close to Forest Park and other downtown area attractions.

Good luck in your quest! I hope you find your dream town, wherever it might be.

u/TroyIM · 1 pointr/NoMoreMrNiceGuy

Wow, so many things you have said of your story resonate with me. So I will give you my perspective. Sorry it’s so long.

Been divorced 5 years now from HS sweetheart, I was married 22 yrs, she is bipolar and didn’t work for 18 months before the split. Kids were 18, 10, and 8 when we split. I was in counseling for about 5 years which I see now helped to lead to the divorce especially when I learned what boundaries were and started having some, which she didn’t like at all.

  1. Kids - that was one of my biggest concerns at the time and I must admit it was rough in the beginning to figure out my new relationship with the youngest ones. They had trouble in the beginning but I can now see it was because of being in the toxic environment of the household and then going through a divorce. They are doing great now and I made sure along the way that I focused on doing the right things for the kids no matter the way I felt about their mother even though she didn’t have the same thinking.

  2. Backlash - you are right to fear it! Logic, morals, motherhood, all go out the window. If she already has a victim mentality, then expect it to get worse. Watch out for restraining orders and calling the police. You also will need to get comfortable with calling the police. She will change her attitude when a cop threatens them with being arrested and some time it’s the only way to stop the cycle of chaos that they create and want to keep going to maintain control. Fearing it will help you to prepare to be on the defensive for it mentally.

  3. Finances - It sucks, no other way to put it. Especially the first year. After 5 years I can’t say that I have fully recovered. If things are tight now, they will get really bad. Go into it with the thought process that you will lose everything and have to start over from scratch, this will help you deal with it and give you some type of hope that it will get better because things do get better with time.

  4. What ifs - man those thoughts kept me rooted in misery and honestly I didn’t realize it until after the split. The things you put up with that you look back on as normalcy is shocking. Also, after you can look back and see how it was heading to divorce the whole time and there was no way to stop it. The only thing that happened for me was I kept holding out hope and I can look back now and see there was never really any hope. I wish I would have met with a lawyer before like you have done.


    Here are my other pieces of advice that I wish I knew about before the split: No affiliate links, just straight to the books.

  5. The end will come as an event, mine was accidentally discovering other guys numbers in her phone. Get the book Uncoupling, it explains the process of splitting up.
    Uncoupling

  6. Get the book Splitting, it’s about divorcing a narcissist.. Once I read it, it was like reading NMMNG, but it was the story of my divorce. It acted as a playbook on how to handle things and she literally followed most of the things the book said she would do.
    Splitting

  7. Make sure your lawyer is in favor of fathers rights. Every guys tells his lawyer that his wife is crazy when going through divorce, so they hear it all the time. But when it really is the case without documented medical support, they will just think you are like every other guy and not realize that things are different especially for the kids. They figure it out eventually, but it takes them a while to get there.

  8. Make your boundaries quickly especially when it comes to the kids. When she talked about reconciling, I created a list of the expectations I wanted in a marriage and from a wife and until I could see that she met those expectations I was only settling on my own happiness.

  9. Don’t tell her anything, disconnect as soon as the papers are filed. She is no longer your responsibility. If you could have saved her, you wouldn’t be going through a divorce.

  10. First year is really rough, keep journaling, but recognize when you shouldn’t go back to review things because it stops you from moving forward and sets you back in the process.


    My story now is that I met an amazing women and have been married for a year. She loves my kids and they love her. You will probably see once you get out there that you are a good catch and there are plenty of women who will treat you like a king because of all the jerks available on the market.

    Sorry it was so long, but hopefully it helps.

    Feel free to PM me if you need anything.
u/zallen · 1 pointr/raisedbynarcissists

Check out this book! Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Talks about the necessity of documenting everything, doing stuff in front of witnesses, the inevitability of them turning mean and how to deal with that, etc.

http://www.amazon.ca/Splitting-Protecting-Borderline-Narcissistic-Personality/dp/1608820254/ref=sr_1_2/178-0859577-1234539?ie=UTF8&qid=1395119062&sr=8-2&keywords=divorcing+a+narcissist

u/travellingmonk · 1 pointr/CampingandHiking

You may want to check out the "Dummies" or "Idiot's" books. Not to say you are either, just that they really are good books... it's unfortunate that there's a stigma attached to them. You might want to go to B&N or your local library and just read through them rather than ask someone to buy them.

Camping for Dummies

https://www.amazon.com/Camping-Dummies-Michael-Hodgson/dp/076455221X

The Complete Idiot's Guide to Backpacking and Hiking

https://www.amazon.com/Complete-Idiots-Backpacking-Lifestyle-Paperback/dp/1592579604

The Backpacker's Handbook has been recommended, but I haven't read it myself.

https://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/007175489X

The Complete Walker; I read this 30 years ago(?) A great reference.

https://www.amazon.com/Complete-Walker-IV-Colin-Fletcher/dp/0375703233

And of course Mountaineering: Freedom of the Hills

https://www.amazon.com/Mountaineering-Freedom-Hills-Mountaineers/dp/1680510045

M:FotH is a comprehensive tome, which may be a bit advanced for someone who is starting out with some car camping. As the name implies, it's aimed towards mountaineers, with sections on rock climbing, belaying, first aid, mountain safety... as a beginner you might pick up some invaluable information, but most of it may be far beyond what you need, it might be a bit overwhelming. Though you may be the type that just loves to soak up everything you, in which case it's a great reference.

If you want to check it out, the Kindle version of the 8th edition has a "Look Inside" which lists the sections and chapters, and has a bit of the first chapter. The latest 9th ed doesn't have the "Look Inside" yet.

https://www.amazon.com/Mountaineering-Freedom-Hills-Mountaineers-ebook/dp/B0049P1ZTC

u/Halafax · 1 pointr/DeadBedrooms

Have a look at:

http://www.amazon.com/Splitting-Protecting-Borderline-Narcissistic-Personality/dp/1608820254?ie=UTF8&psc=1&redirect=true&ref_=ox_sc_act_title_1&smid=ATVPDKIKX0DER

http://www.amazon.com/Say-Goodbye-Crazy-Restore-Sanity/dp/1514683814?ie=UTF8&psc=1&redirect=true&ref_=ox_sc_act_title_2&smid=ATVPDKIKX0DER

I've never read either of these, I just stumbled across them the other day. I wish had thought about (or knew to look for) such information when I needed it.

I have read:

http://www.amazon.com/Stop-Walking-Eggshells-Borderline-Personality/dp/1572246901/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1463149523&sr=1-1&keywords=stop+walking+on+eggshells

This offers a lot of insight to understanding a person with Borderline Personality Disorder, but doesn't offer any advice about leaving one.

My ex made my life hell, and that actually ramped up during the divorce and afterwards. She left me, but decided to punish me when I didn't miss her (her actual words, years later). Step very carefully.

Before any of that, get yourself some therapy or a support group. If you are actually dealing with a personality disorder, you need to give special thought to your own recovery. Most people who haven't experienced something like it simply can't relate to your experience. Seek out someone who can.

It is entirely possible you're learned to enable bad behavior, and you'll need to give real thought to how to get yourself healthy. I had no idea how "ground down" I was at the end of my marriage. I was barely human, but kept right on paying bills and taking care of things. There wasn't much of anything left under my responsibilities, just a sad grey ghost.

Anyhoo.... Good luck and be careful.

u/MeLlamoBenjamin · 1 pointr/rva

Former REI guy, so I'm biased, but I think it's the best selection to check out and a really knowledgeable staff. We had 3 or 4 of us who had completed through-hikes of the AT working there, at the same time. Was hard to beat that level of experience. Also like Walkabout in Carytown.

I'd recommend trying out things and working on specs for what you'll carry rather than identifying a specific pack or other gear from a specific company. Once you narrow in on your specs, the right gear will become a little easier to identify. Going into the store would be a great opportunity to talk to people with experience and soak up what you can.

Good resources include the Awol's AT Guide (which I think is also available in a southbound edition), the Appalachian Trail Data Book, and The Complete Walker IV, which is kind of the granddaddy of hiking guides.

u/powermonkey19 · 1 pointr/NRelationships

As I read your post I felt like I could have written it, except I've been in a relationship for 9 years and living together for 5 years and we have a 4 year old. It is very difficult to separate from someone you are living with, particularly when you have a child. You are absolutely doing the right thing by taking the steps to protect your and your child's future. Parents shape their child's view of relationships and the best thing you can do is to show them you are willing to do what it takes to be happy.

My partner is likely an N-personality type, but it may be another BPD. (I'll probably never know because the only time we did therapy, he turned the therapist against me.) I'm currently in the process of looking for a new place to live (again) and am gearing up for it to be HARD based on my previous attempts to separate.

I agree with what everyone else has said about making sure you have your support network in place before making a move. One book that I have found helpful is Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder. I'm keeping everything very close to the vest until I have all my ducks in a row (lawyer, therapist, new apartment, etc.) to avoid being sabotaged as we work through what the child custody agreement will look like. I live in a 50/50 equal parenting rights state. I too am really hoping to use a mediator and keep it out of court, but based on the advice I have received so far, it's probably better to have paperwork filed with the court so there is quick recourse if/when N decides to start gaslighting/sabotaging down the road.

Wish I had more advice to give, but just know you are not alone.

u/Cassians · 1 pointr/urbandesign

Happy City is brilliant. About 25% through it and I love it.

u/n8texas · 1 pointr/relationship_advice

u/Significant_Cupcake you are doing the right thing by cutting it off now. What you described gave me chills & brought me back to my divorce. Splitting up with someone who can’t be honest when are obvious can have it’s own unique challenges. Not sure how / if your wife fits the NPD / BPD mould, but if she does consider getting this book, it was very helpful for me during my own divorce. Good luck brother.

u/rAtheismSelfPostOnly · 1 pointr/INTPBookmarks

Things to Buy
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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Portrait_of_the_Artist_as_a_Young_Man

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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Catcher_in_the_Rye

http://www.amazon.com/Catch-22-Joseph-Heller/dp/0684833395

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http://www.amazon.com/Element-Surprise-Navy-Seals-Vietnam/dp/0804105812/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1304634342&sr=8-1

http://www.amazon.com/Lone-Survivor-Eyewitness-Account-Operation/dp/0316067598

http://www.amazon.com/Diving-Bell-Butterfly-Memoir-Death/dp/0375701214/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1312848167&sr=8-1

Political
Iraq Research

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Al-Tawhid_Wal-Jihad

http://www.ontheissues.org/Drugs.htm#Barack_Obama

Congress Related

http://thomas.loc.gov/home/r110query.html

http://www.senate.gov/legislative/LIS/roll_call_lists/vote_menu_110_1.htm

http://www.usdoj.gov/

http://www.issuedictionary.com/Barack_Obama.cgi

http://thomas.loc.gov/cgi-bin/query/D?r110:75:./temp/~r110y7HfAa::

http://www.senate.gov/legislative/LIS/roll_call_lists
/roll_call_vote_cfm.cfm?congress=107&session=2&vote=00237

http://allafrica.com/

http://www.politifact.com/truth-o-meter/promises/??

Health & Exercise
Green Tea

http://www.teatrekker.com/store/tea/green/green+-+japan.php

http://www.o-cha.com/brew.htm

http://www.ehow.com/how_2080066_steep-loose-leaf-tea.html

http://cooksshophere.com/products/tea/green_tea.htm

http://whfoods.org/genpage.php?tname=foodspice&dbid=146

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Health_effects_of_tea

http://blackdragonteabar.blogspot.com/2008_09_01_archive.html

http://blackdragonteabar.blogspot.com/

https://www.itoen.com/leaf/index.cfm

http://www.maiko.ne.jp/english/

http://www.mellowmonk.com/buyGreenTea.htm
http://www.o-cha.com/home.php

http://www.denstea.com/

http://www.theteaavenue.com/chgrtea.html

http://www.teafrog.com/teas/finum-tea-brewing-basket.html

u/reyomnwahs · 1 pointr/StLouis

Holy cow, can't believe no one has mentioned this book yet: http://www.amazon.com/Hikes-Within-Miles-Including-Farmington/dp/0897328833

Also, this guy posts videos and blogs about just about every trail within a day's drive of STL.

u/uniformlima · 1 pointr/VIRGINIA_HIKING

http://midatlantichikes.com/troutrunvalley.htm

AMC's Best Backpacking in the Mid-Atlantic: A Guide To 30 Of The Best Multiday Trips From New York To Virginia https://www.amazon.com/dp/193402886X/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_j6B2Bb6W2Q91K

Trout valley is awesome. The online guide does it counter clockwise. The book does it clockwise. I hiked this in September and can see the pros and cons either way.

Highly recommend that AMC book. Great maps and detailed descriptions of water and camp spots.

u/Iamthelizardqueen52 · 1 pointr/NarcissisticAbuse

Here it is.
Yes, it's called 'learned helplessness ' and it's pretty common with abuse. But when you really think about it, you've been doing it all along, with probably little to no help from him. You're more than capable, especially once you get out from behind him holding you back. Stay prepared and you will make it. After all the threats from my ex about taking the kids away, not paying support, etc, I receive 49% of his paycheck for the next 5 years until I establish my own career that I had to put on hold while he advanced his career. You're going to be okay. Have you read the book "Why Does He Do That?"? That one I actually have as a pdf and can email it to you if you pm me your email address. Those two books changed my life!

u/sugarwax1 · 1 pointr/AskSF

Ocean Beach was the first place that came to my mind too.

Take yourself on a stairway walk.
https://www.amazon.com/Stairway-Walks-Francisco-Adah-Bakalinsky/dp/0899976379

The city offers a ton of places to go and decompress.

u/rodeorelaxo · 1 pointr/toronto

I'm new to reddit, so apologies if anyone has posted this already, but there's an amazing book out there by Canadian author Charles Montgomery called Happy City that discusses this whole topic in great detail. It's written in a very consumable manner and is positive without being preachy - highly recommended for anyone interested in getting some of the facts behind the re-urbanization trend. Makes one hopeful for Toronto.

http://www.amazon.ca/Happy-City-Transforming-Through-Design/dp/0385669143

u/troymccluresf · 1 pointr/AskSF

It's closed at the moment from the storm, but Land's End has a really beautiful trail, connecting 32nd Ave to Sutro Baths. There's a tiny beach you can hike down to, too.
https://www.flickr.com/photos/troymccluresf/56303913/
https://www.flickr.com/photos/troymccluresf/2357223948/
It's easy to tie in the Legion of Honor into this, too. Go there, walk the trail, then have a beer at Park Chalet. (If you're into beer, let me know. I'm literally a professional.) EDIT: Actually: here's pretty much that walk: https://www.flickr.com/photos/troymccluresf/sets/72157604221361358/

There're also some lesser-known trails in Golden Gate Park that offer some quiet and privacy, marked in gray on Google Maps. There's a big rock pile I always thought was fun to climb right inside the park at 25th Ave in the Richmond; I'd go from there and up to the lake.

Mountain Lake Park is neat- when my mom worked swing on the Golden Gate Bridge, my dad would drop her off then drop me & the dog off at 8th & Lake. There's a dog run in there we'd hang out at for a while, then take the trails back behind the lake and over to the PHSH, which used to be a lot more interesting. From there we'd either go up through the Presidio, maybe to Baker Beach and out to 25th Ave. Or, I'd take the "trails" inside Park Presidio through to Geary or maybe Golden Gate Park and head back toward 25th through there. (EDIT: Hit Little Vietnam for bahn mi beforehand- 6th at Clement.)

(Why yes, I did grow up in the Richmond, how did you know?)

Buena Vista Park is cool, plus it connects to so much- Corona Heights, the Haight, Castro… I'd say only if you have a bit of street smarts, though- plenty of burned out hippies living in there. Not actually dangerous, I wouldn't think, but I'd pay more attention in there.

You can get pretty close to the base of Sutro Tower, too. Can't really do much when you're there, but it's neat to see up close, at least. Just get to Dellbrook Ave & La Avanzada St. Here's a fun way to get there from UCSF (probably can't get quite that close to the tower, though).

Glen Canyon is pretty cool, plus it's (one of?) the only place in SF with the natural waterway still intact.

Left field at AT&T Park is open on non-game days during the season.

Go to Green Apple's local book section and pick up a couple books like this. (And then go to Mountain Lake Park.)

Go walk down this hill.

All I can think of at the moment. Feel free to ask for more, or PM me. I love showing off my hometown to people!

EDIT: Come to think of it, Green Apple itself is worth exploring on its own, as is Amoeba Records on Haight.

EDIT AGAIN: How could I forget Treasure Island? There's a couple of baseball fields, as well as a couple wineries. Treasure Island Bar & Grill (Called "Ti-BAG" by the locals) is a small-town bar that was super friendly to me when I ducked in during a horrendous night of traffic on the Bridge. You can also wander Yerba Buena Island a bit, including access to roads directly above each end of the YBI tunnel.

EDIT AGAIN AGAIN: Tank Hill! You can pretty much drive right up to this one, so it's a good place to like, bring a burrito to eat and watch sunset reflect off of downtown. It's like a junior Twin Peaks. Also, all this could be said of Kite Hill, as well.

There's also Turtle Hill ("Grand View Park") in the Sunset, which has a view west.

u/Floomby · 1 pointr/AdviceAnimals

Then I question whether you were happily married all these years.

These books may be helpful. Good luck.

u/Narc_Free_Yippee · 1 pointr/Divorce

Check out Splitting



u/6553321 · 1 pointr/GetMotivated

I read these two books:
http://www.amazon.com/Splitting-Protecting-Borderline-Narcissistic-Personality/dp/1608820254/
http://www.amazon.com/Stop-Walking-Eggshells-Borderline-Personality/dp/1572246901/

They helped me understand the experience, understand the mistakes I made and that I'm not alone.

Talk to your friends. The first thing an abuser does is isolate you. Many of your relationships may not be where you want them to be. But you'd be surprised how strong they actually are. The reason I say this is because abusers have a pattern of going after people that are gentle caring people. And this means you have a strong network of friends. Go to them, and talk to them.

Take care of yourself. Make sure other things in your life are the way they want to be. Are you proud of your physique? Are you happy with where your career is going? Are you happy with your accomplishments? You're free from the overwhelming pain of a person that was emotionally insecure and made themselves feel better by putting you down. You are now free to write your own story without that crippling pain, go and write it.

u/BudapestSF · 1 pointr/AskSF

Check out Stairway Walks in San Francisco for a different view of SF.

u/mydogfarted · 1 pointr/BPD

> i would take your daughter and leave if possible, but im sure you know that that will be nearly impossible. If I were in your shoes, I would take off and try to start a new stable life for your daughter to be involved in.

No. Let me repeat that - NO. Talk to a lawyer first. If he takes off with her, chances are he'll get fucked for it when it comes to the custody battle in the divorce. Men usually get the short end of the stick in custody cases. If he's had her arrested, there is only a mark on her record if charges were pressed and a conviction was made. Otherwise, her lawyer could try to play the "he hit me, and I was defending myself" argument. Even then, if the history of abuse against him is there, they still might give her some leeway because she didn't abuse the kid.

Consult a lawyer before doing anything. I hate to say this, but request a psych eval, and use it against her in the custody fight. As someone with BPD and is married, this book scares the fuck out of me:

http://www.amazon.com/Splitting-Protecting-Borderline-Narcissistic-Personality/dp/1608820254/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1344279069&sr=1-1&keywords=borderline+personality+disorder+divorce

Good luck.

u/ragwell · 1 pointr/AskReddit

I strongly recommend this book if you're married to somebody with BPD.

http://www.amazon.com/Splitting-Protecting-Borderline-Narcissistic-Personality/dp/1608820254

Somebody I know went through a breakup and custody battle with a long term girlfriend who had/has BPD. Bad stuff. Great you want to help, but protect yourself.

u/TheSunaTheBetta · 1 pointr/AmISexy

Upper body is on point, lower body will get there. Maybe take up barefoot/minimalist running (but [do so properly so you don't injure yourself] (http://www.amazon.com/Whole-Body-Barefoot-Transitioning-Footwear/dp/0989653986/ref=sr_1_6?ie=UTF8&qid=1453880865&sr=8-6&keywords=Katy+Bowman)). It'll get the lower body shaped up.

u/exfalsoquodlibet · 1 pointr/WildernessBackpacking

I bought a small digital scale for cooking - for weighing out recipe ingredients to the gram.

Then I started using it to weigh every piece of gear I own and take. The theory follows Colin Fletcher's maxim in his work The Complete Walker: 'take care of the ounces and the pounds will take care of themselves'.

I found, for example, that my 'lightweight' plastic fork is heavier than the titanium one that I was not using (for, being metal, it should be heavier, though this was not in fact true).

If I were you, I would weigh everything in this picture and see if I could find replacements that are lighter but are still functionally equivalent.

For example, your coffee filter - pretty big chunk of plastic (and it requires a finite supply of paper filters); how many grams is it? And is it lighter than this one? I bet, with careful research, you could reduce the weight of your filter by 50%.

u/picardybird · 1 pointr/StLouis

60 Hikes within 60 Miles of St. Louis is great for exploring parks and beautiful daytime views around STL, especially since it won't get super cold for a month or more.

https://www.amazon.com/Hikes-Within-Miles-Including-Farmington/dp/0897328833

u/Popoagie · 1 pointr/hiking
u/Cososheep · 1 pointr/AbandonedPorn

Scotty?

Johnson knew it was a scam and still was friends with Scotty, Johnson willfully built the castle because he fell in love with the area and the climate and lifestyle helped his health.

http://www.nps.gov/deva/learn/historyculture/death-valley-scotty.htm

Also, with the huge size of the park and the drastic geological differences that occur within the boundaries, there are many different elements present.

Here are some good books about the geology of the area/history and hiking.

http://www.amazon.com/Geology-Underfoot-Death-Valley-Owens/dp/0878423621

http://www.amazon.com/Hiking-Death-Valley-Natural-Wonders/dp/0965917800/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1427481871&sr=1-1&keywords=hiking+death+valley

http://www.amazon.com/Important-California-history-autobiography-detailing-ebook/dp/B00AQN23CY/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1427481886&sr=1-1&keywords=death+valley+in+49

u/hesiii · 1 pointr/Ultralight

Some good information in posts in this thread. If you want the bible of running/hiking footcare then check out "Fixing Your Feet" by John Vonhof:

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01I8S7U44/ref=dbs_a_def_rwt_hsch_vapi_tkin_p1_i0