Best books about inner child according to redditors
We found 33 Reddit comments discussing the best books about inner child. We ranked the 12 resulting products by number of redditors who mentioned them. Here are the top 20.
We found 33 Reddit comments discussing the best books about inner child. We ranked the 12 resulting products by number of redditors who mentioned them. Here are the top 20.
>Sovereign Citizen’s Cut-Out Kit – This is a book that can be purchased from many retailers such as Amazon or Barnes & Noble. It describes the movement and the theory of how to remove oneself from government control.
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Amazon needs to not sell that.
Take some small steps for yourself. Don't worry about how they look or if it hurts your pride. Some small things like this could go a long way towards feeling better and having better habits long term. I'm decreasing my usage slightly since I have a similiar cycle. I love being active and thc makes being active more strenuous, difficult, and laborious for me. One thing I totally recommend grabbing some cbd vape pens. Helps tremendously with cutting back smoking or vaping. Still decreases stress, depression and anxiety so that is still provided to you.
ACA Big Red Book is for "Adult Children of Alcoholic / Dysfunctional Families."
You qualify to attend ACA due to being an adult child of a dysfunctional home. The authors of the ACA book realize that dysfunction in the home due to mental illness or other dysfunction creates similar effects in adult children as alcoholism, therefore the process for healing is the same.
You qualify to attend ACA due to your dysfunctional family.
It does not matter whether you are addicted or not. You can be a "double winner" and attend AA and also ACA.
Just like how you can be a double winner and qualify to attend AA and also Al-Anon. You can attend Al-Anon whether you are addicted or not. Same with ACA.
Honestly you don't even have to attend - the red book is just amazing to read. And where I live anyhow ACA meetings are VERY hard to come by.
Here is the book:
http://www.amazon.com/ADULT-CHILDREN-ALCOHOLICS-DYSFUNCTIONAL-FAMILIES-ebook/dp/B008YH705E
This is the book used today in ACA and I assure you it is very different from the AA blue book. The list of 12 steps in the book is the same list as in AA. But the chapters describe a hugely different method of working the steps. I urge you to take a look at the red book. It is chock full of healing messages like learning how to be your own loving parent, how to work on self-love and self-understanding. It talks about how we need to take an inventory of our parents also, because we have internalized them and now use this critical parent voice on ourselves, and it includes "holding our parents and family accountable for their action and inaction."
Alternatively - if you are fed up with 12 steps alltogether - you might want to read Charles Whitfield's book I referenced above - many of the same healing concepts around inner child work that are used in the ACA book are in Dr. Whitfield's book.
I felt much lonely until I connected with my inner child. Read this. It changed my life:
www.amazon.com/Healing-Your-Aloneness-Finding-Wholeness/dp/0062501496
>I agree with you here. So does this mean you disagree with TRP's stance on this topic?
I've never been one for towing the party line.
> Interesting. I still don't really get it honestly. women are emotionally trained to place responsibility for their feelings onto their partners? What does this mean, and what leads you to believe that?
There are 2 parts to this. One is well explained by Women's Infidelity by Michelle Langley, and is also it's a common criticism feminism makes of popular culture. Society conditions women that marriage or a relationship with a man will make them happy. That they need to find the right guy who will complete them (the implication that without a man they are incomplete). This is bullshit of course, no one can make anyone else happy. You have to learn to be happy yourself.
The second part is that while society conditions men to be stoic (avoid and suppress their feelings) girls are taught to over identify with them. Women who aren't emotionally whole often surrender to their feelings, rather than simply accept them, while understanding the distinction between their being and what they feeling in any given moment.
TRP accurately observes that women end marriages (and probably relationships) more than men, but concludes falsely that this is because women cannot love the way men can. In reality, it's the combination of what I described above. Women enter into relationships thinking that will magically make them happy and they will feel whole and complete and loved. When this doesn't happen because it was never realistic to begin with, they begin to feel sad, anxious, and often angry. While a man would probably bury these emotions until he explodes (or becomes depressed) women both act on them and blame their partners due to how they have been emotionally conditioned.
>There is an huge amount of psychological evidence to support this assertion, and anyone who has spent any time working on emotional healing and therapy will quickly see that I am correct.
Here are some links, but these are books not easily digestible articles. The important thing to understand is that core emotional problems are the same amongst all people. It's the external expression of that pain that is often gendered. Reading about the difference between NPD and BPD will shed some let on this.
Women's Infidelity
Facing Co-Dependence
The Mindful Path to Self-Compassion
Healing the Shame that Binds You
Healing Your Aloneness
Neurosis and Human Growth: The Struggle Towards Self-Realization
>I don't really see what this has to do with gender. Both partners need to feel that expression of love. Dread Game actually seems to be based around purposely withdrawing love and affection, which seems irreconcilable with the idea of unconditional love.
What tends to be gendered is the preferred expression of love (love language). Different people need and express love differently, and sometimes couples don't have compatible styles of showing affection. In cases where one partner will not work on the issue, that partner is withdrawing their love. I agree that dread game is not compatible with unconditional love, and I don' think I ever said it was compatible.
*Grow The F**ck Up was suggested a while back.
http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/1511720247/
https://www.amazon.com/Grow-Up-Elephant-how-graduation/dp/1511720247
Here's my take on things. I'm in a similar position to you. I'm clean now, but spent way too long smoking way too much and still accomplishing plenty, being seen as a high achiever, etc.
Every time I would quit - for a month or longer, I'd eventually do the same thing you described. Think I could moderate and before I knew it, I was out of control again.
Here's the thing: I've come to believe that marijuana was not my problem, but only a symptom of it. My real problem was numbing - and marijuana is a very effective numbing agent. I finally realized that what was behind the impulse to pick up and smoke, was the impulse to numb and avoid feelings and uncomfortable mental states.
I think it can be helpful when trying to let things go to explore what is underneath the urge to 'check out' and smoke.
There are those in the mental health field that suggest that shame is actually at the root of all numbing/addictive behaviours. I tend to agree. Here are a few resources that I've found extremely helpful in getting to the root cause of my numbing impulses and truly healing myself:
https://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability?language=en
https://www.amazon.com/Healing-Shame-Binds-Recovery-Classics/dp/0757303234/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1473347900&sr=8-1&keywords=healing+the+shame
https://www.amazon.com/Inner-Bonding-Becoming-Loving-Adult/dp/0062507109
Good luck!
I'll just recommend you my last read: The Art of Letting Go by Jakob Graf. Even though it's not that popular, I really enjoyed it and will attach you my review down below:
The Art of Letting go: Daily Motivation
I recently came across this pretty interesting book - "The Art of Letting Go" by Jakob Graf. After I've previously read my fair share of books that would fit into that kind of self-help/spirituality category, this one turned out quite different (and to be honest - kind of refreshing).
Unlike most authors in this niche, the author, a young cultural anthropologist, martial artist and actor doesn't try to lecture any of his principles, but rather takes you on a journey through his life, his experiences and the multicultural environment he works and lives in.
I think the introduction of the book is quite useful to give you an idea of what this book is about:
“The Art of Letting Go” is based on the Buddhist idea that life is full of attachments. We are attached to a work-life, a lover, a family, parents, material things, spiritual beliefs and of course our own ego. If not correctly reflected, attachments have the potential to control or overpower us. By changing our perspective and being open to fundamental changes, we can create new motivation and free ourselves from unwanted attachments. Old attachments and conditionings hinder us to reach new goals, but they can be overcome if we learn to let go.
I really enjoyed this one because instead of teaching theoretical concepts and ideological beliefs, this book has helped me to see the world from a different angle and equipped me with a new paradigm in terms of attachments.
Summary / Structure:
The first half of the book focusses on the importance of how we see things. What is our attitude toward anything and everything? With examples from his own life, the author shows how the choices we make shape us, and that we must learn how to make them consciously.
The second half of the book gives a more practical approach on how to tackle life in all its forms and facets. Practicing Martial Arts and Buddhist philosophy throughout his life, the author refers to these as his cornerstones in “Art of Letting Go”. Structuring and mastering his little universe of Kungfu gave him the blueprint to structure the big universe of his life.
Rating: 4.5/5
I hope this will help !
I went to inpatient in Utah, they went shopping for us once a week. We could order stuff online too. We weren’t allowed to have food (except candy we could keep behind the staff counter). Check the electronics policy - most places, due to HIPAA, any electronics with cameras or WiFi aren’t allowed, but we could have music players without cameras or internet capability. Bluetooth speaker is nice. Bring books, art supplies, workout stuff, maybe some games if you have them. I killed a lot of time making friendship bracelets, reading Harry Potter and stretching/practicing handstands.
I sent these to my best friend when she was in inpatient and everyone loved it.
I liked having small comforts from home. I brought an oil diffuser. A couple others had them and we would trade scents and oils. If you have a favorite pillow/blanket bring it. Lots of comfortable clothes. Nice lotions or toiletries. They confiscated anything with alcohol in the first few ingredients, but we were able to check those out from the staff desk. Bring flip flops/slippers so you don’t have to put on shoes every time you leave your room (we weren’t allowed to walk around in pajamas or barefoot)
Really, it depends on the facility and what is allowed and expected. Some are very hospital psych-ward like and super restricted, some allow you a lot of freedom. I went to a really boujie one that my job paid for and we had a lot of scheduled activities throughout the month. Mostly it was just boring though, honestly.
"Grow the Fuck Up" by John Kyle.
https://www.amazon.com/Grow-Up-Elephant-how-graduation/dp/1511720247
Its written more for 18-22 year olds, but it really does cover just about everything you would want a book like that to cover.
Yeah that therapist is a dick. Don't go back and see her even after you are sober a year.
You (like so many of us here) have an addictive personality. I am the same way with food weighing and tracking, I get obsessive about it and cut my calories so low it is dangerous.
Do you have other options for therapy since you have the tendency to get so intense about things? The possibility that cycling becomes your new running is very real. I'm literally copying and pasting a response someone left me on the thread "Day 2 & grappling with permanency" because it addresses the addictive personality that underlies the behavior. Hugs to you!
Wisdom from @thisismisterl:
Here's the thing: I've come to believe that marijuana was not my problem, but only a symptom of it. My real problem was numbing - and marijuana is a very effective numbing agent. I finally realized that what was behind the impulse to pick up and smoke, was the impulse to numb and avoid feelings and uncomfortable mental states.
I think it can be helpful when trying to let things go to explore what is underneath the urge to 'check out' and smoke.
There are those in the mental health field that suggest that shame is actually at the root of all numbing/addictive behaviours. I tend to agree. Here are a few resources that I've found extremely helpful in getting to the root cause of my numbing impulses and truly healing myself:
https://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability?language=en
https://www.amazon.com/Healing-Shame-Binds-Recovery-Classics/dp/0757303234/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1473347900&sr=8-1&keywords=healing+the+shame
https://www.amazon.com/Inner-Bonding-Becoming-Loving-Adult/dp/0062507109
I'm basing most of my assumptions on attachment theory and I'm fairly certain you and I have similar attachment styles.
They have recommendations in there for anxious attachments and I think specifically for us they recommend getting into self-help and using some form of mindfulness therapy to deal with anxiety. Inner Bonding and Vipassana meditation are what have helped me the most.
I really can't recommend therapy enough though. A good coach helps a lot if you can commit to 6-12 months.
Oh my goodness thank you for taking the time to share all of that!
I am very interested in this. Often when we are working with affirmations or new beliefs it is like forcing the new positive belief over the old negative one. And people can have a very hard time with that, not believing the new chosen belief/affirmation because the old one "competes" in a way.
What you are describing sounds a lot like some of the therapy techniques of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Psychodynamic Therapy, and Inner Child Work.
CBT: states we have a hierarchy of types of thoughts and beliefs, ranging from shallower/more on the surface, "automatic thoughts" which are based on more deeply held "core beliefs" - "I'm not good enough" or similar, and they are all interconnected, and the automatic thoughts we have fleetingly throughout the day, or our inner monologue, represents these more deeply held (and often flawed/dysfunctional) beliefs about ourselves (ex "I'm unlovable"), others (ex. "Others will hurt me, so respect the worst"), the world (ex. "things always go badly for me"). CBT just works on fixing the thoughts, not with figuring out where they came from. I personally find this approach lacking. I needed to understand why I had negative thoughts and beliefs, not just try to change them.
Psychodynamic therapy involves going backward to identify where in childhood our beliefs and coping mechanisms and ways of relating to ourselves, the world and others came from, to gain understanding of the source and then modify as needed.
Inner Child Work is very similar to what you are talking about and its about relating to that hurt "child" part of us that didn't get what they needed in childhood and now feels hurt and scared (etc) and how to step in as our own "loving parent" and to reframe these experience and provide to ourselves through compassionate inner dialogue and self care what we needed then and now.
Pete Walker has a good website on this and what he refers to as "emotional flashbacks"
http://pete-walker.com/pdf/emotionalFlashbackManagement.pdf
Also coming to mind is a book called "The Presence Process" by Brown who gives a detailed program for "integrating" old stuff by going backwards and identifying where our negative beliefs come from.
https://www.amazon.com/Presence-Process-Journey-Present-Awareness/dp/1897238460/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1520080673&sr=8-1&keywords=the+presence+process
In my experience you don't have to be overly particular about how far you can go back and how precise you can be. Even if you can identify a general theme or feeling, and track back to when you recall that feeling in your childhood to identify where the belief might have come from: ex,: "My mother always checked my homework, and that made me think I must be stupid or untrustworthy" - then that's enough to realize where something came from and start to undo it, saying to yourself, "No, I was fine and smart. I got all As and some Bs. My mother was just overly concerned with how our family appeared to others due to her own insecurities. That had nothing to do with me. I am smart and I am trustworthy."
Again, thanks for sharing all you took the time to write, and I think if you are interested in this sort of thing there are others resources that cost less than $5000 you can look into do do similar work.
"Healing your aloneness" by Chopich and "Inner Bonding" by the same authors are also good books with a similar theme.
https://www.amazon.com/Healing-Your-Aloneness-Finding-Wholeness/dp/0062501496/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1520080700&sr=1-1&keywords=healing+your+aloneness
https://www.amazon.com/Inner-Bonding-Becoming-Loving-Adult/dp/0062507109/ref=pd_bxgy_14_img_3?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_i=0062507109&pd_rd_r=AACBA3RGXQS6G568WF8W&pd_rd_w=WEflm&pd_rd_wg=99z8l&psc=1&refRID=AACBA3RGXQS6G568WF8W
My therapist taught me a 4 step process to do this when something happens that triggers me feeling those old negative beliefs:
That process was immensely helpful to me to journal on events to rewire my negative beliefs that were based in old experiences.
Namaste!
(edited to add links)
On a different note, but something to at least check out - [The Spiritual Advantages of a Painful Childhood] (https://www.amazon.com/Legacy-Heart-Spiritual-Advantages-Childhood-ebook/dp/B00B3L7FU8) - (not overtly religious as I recall, though it's been years)
My First Unicorn Coloring Adventure is the perfect gift for all aspiring little artists, guaranteed to keep girls and boys who love unicorns engaged and occupied for hours on end!
This adorable coloring book contains 30+ unique designs. The charmingly hand-drawn illustrations are completely original and cannot be found anywhere else. The age-appropriate pages are intended for younger audiences in the 2-6 age range, and there are plenty of cute and whimsical unicorns, mermaids, princesses, teddy bears, fairies, ducks, bunnies, toddlers (and more) to be found within. The single-sided pages prevent bleed-through and allow for the use of crayons and markers. As a result of the single-sided pages, each page can be removed and displayed without losing an image on the back. The large format (8.5 x 11 - A4 paper) is perfect for small hands! If your little one loves unicorns, grab a copy today!
Available on Amazon:
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https://www.amazon.com/dp/1695791428
https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1695791428
Also, this book helped me immensly.
http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0062507109?pc_redir=1404658036&robot_redir=1
Grow the F*ck Up
Gotta say, it's a real game changer.
Homecoming: Reclaiming and Championing your Inner Child
How to Survive Your Childhood Now That You're an Adult
The Inner Child Workbook
Affirmations for the Inner Child
Reconciliation: Healing the Inner Child
Inner Bonding: Becoming a Loving Adult to your Inner Child
I’m using this book: https://www.amazon.com/dp/0553057936
Behavior Modification: What it is and How to do it, sure, I'd recommend it. It's pretty fun to apply but kind of boring to read?
I found this but I will have to agree that the illustrated Larousse will probably be your best bet.