Best cat, dog & animal humor books according to redditors

Genuine book what scares me more is the other customer views part -https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Talk-Your-About-Safety/dp/045149492X

It exists

https://smile.amazon.com/How-Talk-Your-About-Safety/dp/045149492X/ref=pd_sbs_14_img_0?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=9TBSQ6PNRGPKQENAN41Q

This is not even the best of Maru's box adventures - https://youtu.be/2XID_W4neJo

And the book about him is as good, he was (if possible) even cuter as a kitten and loved putting his belly on cold floors - https://www.amazon.com/dp/0062088416/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_Qq27Ab95X6S3X

> dogs can't do math

• https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/canine-corner/201103/do-dogs-know-mathematics
  
• https://www.canidae.com/blog/2014/12/can-dogs-really-understand-simple-math/
  
• http://www.indiana.edu/~jkkteach/Q550/Pennings2003.pdf
  
  > or write poetry
  
  
• http://www.csmonitor.com/The-Culture/The-Home-Forum/2014/1203/Poetry-appreciation-for-dogs
  
• https://www.amazon.ca/Could-Chew-This-Other-Poems/dp/1452119031
  
• http://stories.barkpost.com/cards-from-dogs/
  

I own the book this is from and was going to post a pic of the story that accompanies the image, but it was one of the few stand alone pictures. It’s from The Mincing Mockingbird Guide to Troubled Birds for the curious

The Mincing Mockingbird: Guide to Troubled Birds https://www.amazon.com/dp/039917091X/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_PW-.zbAT56YVQ

Actual source:
How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety: And Abstinence, Drugs, Satanism, and Other Dangers That Threaten Their Nine Lives https://www.amazon.com/dp/045149492X/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_ee0XDb7M2H58A

Found it.

Link?

Edit: Link

As it happens there is a book about this very subject! I recommend looking into that for further detail. But right away we can rule out any man-eating or predatory beast, such things are never kosher. Things that crawl on their bellies like worms, bugs (with four specific exceptions which are generally understood to be crickets, two types of locust, and one type of grasshopper) and most reptiles are also not kosher.

So in short it'll be:

Land creatures that eat plants, chew their cud, and have split hooves-- a creature that has a mix of hooves and paws is a no-go.

Birds with a crop, a gizzard, and a vestigial finger and that are not birds of prey or scavengers.

Sea creatures with both fins and scales.

Interestingly, this means that there's one possibly unexpected kosher mythological animal: sea serpents, assuming they have fins of some kind, as most do.

Something tells me you could put this to good use

it's a humor book, dude

well, it's this book:

http://www.amazon.com/LOLcat-Bible-beginnin-Ceiling-stuffs/dp/1569757348

but I'm not sure if I can link to a specific page somehow.

My cat is on page 42 :)

Maru is the feline god-king of the internet.

I bought his book.

Hold please...
Book 1: I Am Maru https://www.amazon.com/dp/0062088416/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_MIxpzbRPMPF35

Book 2: I am Maru 2 (Maru Desu 2) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B003ZQCA04/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_RJxpzb6WEH9R1

DVD: I Am Maru Mugumogu [DVD] https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0031L4H0E/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_1Kxpzb2GYYV82

Shirt: CafePress - I am Maru. Light T-Shirt - 100% Cotton T-Shirt https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00W88I1V2/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_ZLxpzbTPT95MQ


Sorry if the format is a effed up. Did this live from the toilet on mobile. (Fixed)

Man, fuck cats and dogs. These pets are fucking awesome.

Reminds me of my daughter's book, haha it's great.

I know you were joking but Downton Tabby is actually a real book. I bought it for my mom for xmas last year.

saw this the other day

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Five-Brexit-Island-Blyton-Grown/dp/178648384X

Mind need to have a talk with your cat...

I own this book. I got it from here: https://www.amazon.com/How-Talk-Your-About-Safety/dp/045149492X

https://www.amazon.com/Does-Fart-Definitive-Animal-Flatulence/dp/0316484156

The answer to all your "Does _ Fart?" questions.

How about a copy of How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety: And Abstinence, Drugs, Satanism, and Other Dangers That Threaten Their Nine Lives 😂

Это называется лолспик, подразумевается, что высшие существа(буквально, пошло от потолочного кота) пишут верно, а мы - нет. По крайней мере так написано в переводе Библии на лолспик. Также есть lolcode - язык программирования на основе лолспика, пример:

HAI 1.2
CAN HAS STDIO?
VISIBLE "HAI WORLD!!!1!"
KTHXBYE

Put him in the litter box when he is going elsewhere. Use an oxygen or enzyme spray on spots where he goes and maybe try avoidance treatment in those places. Some of them are fun, like taping aluminum foil on flat surfaces kitty shouldn't be on.

There is actually a cat owner's manual available online:

http://www.amazon.com/The-Cat-Owners-Manual-Troubleshooting/dp/1931686874

Edit to add link!

There’s some modern day remakes of the famous 5 books. One of them is “5 escape Brexit island”. Got it for my birthday this year, it’s cracking

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Escape-Brexit-Island-Blyton-Grown/dp/1786486989

Edit: also found 5 on Brexit island -

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Five-Brexit-Island-Blyton-Grown/dp/178648384X/ref=pd_aw_fbt_14_img_2/258-8260587-0823620?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=HMYGTKAJ5TFM0Z3P7YAK

I would suggest you the reading of the wonderful book [Does It Fart?: The Definitive Field Guide to Animal Flatulence] (https://www.amazon.com/Does-Fart-Definitive-Animal-Flatulence/dp/0316484156). It'll answer 99% of your farting existential crisis.

Go the Fuck to Sleep a children's book.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/0857862650/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_NUuoDbMEWSK55


Now go fuck yourself you whiny cunt. Have a pleasant day.

How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety: And Abstinence, Drugs, Satanism, and Other Dangers That Threaten Their Nine Lives https://www.amazon.com/dp/045149492X/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_FBVvDbSKF3H4A

Don't forget this important book to ensure the safest home environment for your felines.

Have you talked to your cat about gun safety yet?

Wiki

Amazon

B&N

Reminds me of "Go the Fuck to Sleep"

Not to mention the delicate cat-fur goods market.

This book is for sale at my university, no joke.

Well, my favorites are

The Moviegoer

The Road

A Confederacy of Dunces

Rendezvous with Rama

Watchmen

Snow Crash

Slaughterhouse-Five

Cat's Cradle

The Big Sleep

The Maltese Falcon

American Gods

A Clockwork Orange

Preacher

Fahrenheit 451

1984

Akira

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Lolita

Love in the Time of Cholera

Naked Lunch

Animal Farm

The Sandman

At the Mountains of Madness

The Call of Cthulhu and Other Weird Tales

The Picture of Dorian Gray

Brave New World

We

Batman: The Dark Knight Returns

https://www.amazon.com/Mincing-Mockingbird-Guide-Troubled-Birds/dp/039917091X

110% worth the hardcover price.

Like this

Here's a helpful book

Holy shit, this is a real book. LOL!

The best thing I've found to keep our clothes free of cat hair is a dryer. Every time we throw a load of clothes we get a lint trap FULL of hair; we tried the lint roll and it wasn't awesome, same with the brushing every day, but nothing did the trick like the dryer.

I have a feeling Bounce also helps, as it's supposed to remove static, so the hair doesn't stick to the clothes as much.

EDIT: I should totally buy one of these books, I get so much cat hair on the lint trap!!

Here's a book you might like.

https://www.amazon.com/How-Talk-Your-About-Safety/dp/045149492X

There's a great book on how to make cocktails out of semen called Semenology: The Semen Bartender's Handbook. They did say "any".

Also great: Crap Taxidermy

I want the first one, but I can vouch for the second. The finest crappy taxidermy you'll find in a book under $10.

https://www.amazon.com/How-Talk-Your-About-Safety/dp/045149492X

Here are 2 great books

Kitten Taming: Train Your Cat's Inner Tiger
https://www.amazon.com/dp/1592239862/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_WID-Bb01TKADC

The Cat Owner's Manual: Operating Instructions, Troubleshooting Tips, and Advice on Lifetime Maintenance (Quirk Books)
https://www.amazon.com/dp/1931686874/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_6HD-BbGMPCX8G

Does It Fart?: The Definitive Field Guide to Animal Flatulence

>Dogs do it. Millipedes do it. Dinosaurs did it. You do it. I do it. Octopuses don't (and nor do octopi).

How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety

Does anyone remember the lolcat bible and all of the "mythology" that was built up around ceilingcat? That shit got crazy.

😆 brb I’ll text them.

Edit: I have not heard back from them yet. They’re probably exhausted from all the moving.

I googled it though. :) https://www.amazon.com/How-Talk-Your-About-Safety/dp/045149492X

https://www.amazon.com/dp/045149492X/

This might be what you're looking for.

It covers a wide variety of topics. For those that the link doesn't work for, it is "How to talk to your cat about gun safety"

http://www.amazon.com/LOLcat-Bible-beginnin-Ceiling-stuffs/dp/1569757348/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1368930228&sr=8-1&keywords=lolcat+bible

Hopefully he went over this book with the cats.

Well tell your boy congrats but I think you should read this

How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety: And Abstinence, Drugs, Satanism, and Other Dangers That Threaten Their Nine Lives https://www.amazon.com/dp/045149492X/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_rH6fAbTG7YHJM

Amazon says yes

​

https://smile.amazon.com/How-Talk-Your-About-Safety/dp/045149492X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1550612295&sr=8-1

​

I need this.

"What do you mean, we can't make a movie of Crap Taxidermy ? After 'The Mummy,' Universal will be knocking down our door to produce it!"

I think this is the same one

It kind of reminds me of Glamorpuss- except.. with dogs.

I think you mean Cat's Cradle

Hey man, it has 5 star reviews!

http://www.amazon.com/Glamourpuss-Enchanting-World-Kitty-Wigs/dp/0811867048

I'm a first grade teacher. Here is my funny.

There is a little guy in my class who has an extremely vivid imagination. He is also very bright and very much into fairy tales and fantasy.

One day, after school, the following conversation occurred. It is 100% verbatim. I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried.

Welcome to first grade.

Student: Can I tell you something that might make you upset?

Me: Of course, you can tell me anything.

Student: Well, I was really mad the other day when you clipped me down to "think about it."

Me: I can understand that. The good news is, you turned your behavior around and were able to clip back up. That's what it's all about, making better choices!

Student: (ignoring my encouraging reflection) I was so mad I wanted to take out my magic seashell...turn myself into a girl so you wouldn't recognize me...and marry (my husband's name) to hurt your feelings!

Me: (absolutely dumbfounded and trying not laugh hysterically) Wow buddy. You're right, that would hurt my feelings. I am really glad you decided again that...

I desperately need this book "I Could Chew on This: And Other Poems by Dogs. Based on your post, I feel like you probably need it too. Hehe.

Thanks for the contest and enjoy all of the entertainment!

Quite a few books have been referenced in interviews - here's some of the ones I think I remember. They're all very good books despite any association with Radiohead, by the way.

How to Disappear Completely and Never Be Found

http://www.amazon.com/How-Disappear-Completely-Never-Found/dp/087947257X

The Crying of Lot 49 (also V. and Gravity's Rainbow)

http://www.amazon.com/Crying-Lot-Perennial-Fiction-Library/dp/006091307X/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1411238673&sr=1-1&keywords=crying+of+lot+49

1984

http://www.amazon.com/1984-Signet-Classics-George-Orwell/dp/0451524934/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1411238702&sr=1-1&keywords=1984

The Hitchhiker Guide

http://www.amazon.com/Hitchhikers-Guide-Galaxy-Douglas-Adams/dp/0345391802/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1411238721&sr=1-2&keywords=hithchiker%27s+guide+to+the+galaxy

The Divine Comedy

http://www.amazon.com/Divine-Comedy-Inferno-Purgatorio-Paradiso/dp/0451208633

No Logo

http://www.amazon.com/No-Logo-Anniversary-Edition-Introduction/dp/0312429274

Brave New World

http://www.amazon.com/Brave-New-World-Aldous-Huxley/dp/0060850523

Cat's Cradle

http://www.amazon.com/Cats-Cradle-Novel-Kurt-Vonnegut/dp/038533348X/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1411239309&sr=1-1&keywords=cat%27s+cradle

Stanley Donwood

http://www.amazon.com/Slowly-Downward-Collection-Miserable-Stories/dp/0954417739/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1411239324&sr=1-2&keywords=slowly+downward

http://www.amazon.com/Household-Worms-Richard-Jones/dp/1906477558/ref=pd_sim_b_1?ie=UTF8&refRID=088RY3YE1BENWJPAV5DY

First off, i have to say that your username is great. Check this one out:

https://www.amazon.com/Guide-People-Nothing-About-Firearms/dp/149280990X/ref=pd_sim_14_2?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_i=149280990X&pd_rd_r=DHN4267DBSAW2YVS5ARK&pd_rd_w=5vIDW&pd_rd_wg=cqdIE&psc=1&refRID=DHN4267DBSAW2YVS5ARK

Also i got this DVD at walmart several years ago that explains in depth the history of guns. For most people it's a total bore to watch. But very historical and factual:

https://www.amazon.com/Guns-Evolution-Firearms-Kevin-Hershberger/dp/B00A2XQU54

Added Bonus:

https://www.amazon.com/How-Talk-Your-About-Safety/dp/045149492X/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&qid=1522540718&sr=8-4&keywords=gun+safety+book&dpID=512slp93A4L&preST=_SY291_BO1,204,203,200_QL40_&dpSrc=srch

No, the author did it himself.

Book

How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety: And Abstinence, Drugs, Satanism, and Other Dangers That Threaten Their Nine Lives https://www.amazon.com/dp/045149492X/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_e4Y9BbN82NJWT

I find the LOLCats Bible to be pretty funny

https://www.amazon.com/How-Talk-Your-About-Safety/dp/045149492X

This book will change your life, and all nine of your cat's lives.

It's full of advice on how to talk to your cat about gun safety, the threat of homosexuality, how to identify immigrants, and more!

Just be sure to sit him down and have a serious talk before getting him his own gun. It's not something to be taken lightly.

Does he have a beard? Beard oil is always cool. I'm getting some for my bro from here. I looked around on etsy and that seemed to be one of the more reasonably priced, but there was one featured on sharktank recently too that may have more brand recognition?

I got my bro this a few years ago, he loved it!

Got one of these for each of my brothers this year.

You'd have to get it filled with helium at like a party city or something, but this seems so awesome.

This shop has amaaaaazing prints of old presidents doing crazy shit. Got this Teddy one for my dad for xmas this year & got another for a random office gift exchange. Can't wait to see them fight over it haha.

Is your brother into the whole zombie thing? I got this for my bro's bday. Put it in a cool frame and shiz, it looks awesome.

Does he like grilling? I think these cedar plank things look awesome and would be well-received by most guys who like to grill. They have some other gift pack things too.

I got my bro Sriracha salt last year and he really liked it. There are tons of places on etsy that sell it. In fact, if he's really into sriracha (I have a friend who steals a bottle from every restaurant that has it) you could do a sriracha gift basket. Sriracha salt, sriracha peas, sriracha beef jerky, sriracha chocolate, sriracha chips, sriracha socks. All of those can be found on amazon or just a normal grocery store.

I love that you already listed the berries that change your tastebud thing, I'm planning on bringing a gift basket to an exchange with those and some lemons/limes/grapefruit. I've been suggesting that to a bunch of people on here too haha, it's pretty universal.

This looks so amazing.

Is he into camping or the outdoors? This would be cool. Supposedly you can drink straight from a river and not die.

I just think this is awesome.

Oh! Marc Johns books are amazing. This one always works as a great gift. Idk if you can preview any of the pages but it basically has weird/random pictures and weird/random/sometimes uplifting messages.

Welllp, that's all I can think of right now, hopefully something helped or gave you some ideas! :)

I am very tempted to buy this book.

Here’s a definitive field guide

I hear https://www.amazon.co.uk/Five-Brexit-Island-Blyton-Grown/dp/178648384X/ is factually very accurate.

Cat's Cradle, by Vonnegut. One of my favorite books ever. Very fun!

They still have the Lolcat buybull, though?

... https://www.amazon.com/LOLcat-Bible-beginnin-Ceiling-stuffs/dp/1569757348 (Yup, there it is!)

Kurt Vonnegut- Cat's Cradle.

It is! There is a book I got it for Xmas last year https://www.amazon.com/Downton-Tabby-Chris-Kelly/dp/1476765936

Another question I should've asked -- do you think he would like more of an experience gift (like /u/i-just-never suggested) or a material object?

If a material object is your goal, I know they make some nice hunting jackets that have down in them (but also contain cotton). Other things like this that contain cotton would be camo hat, shirt, boots, work gloves, etc -- depends if he needs or wants anything like that currently. Since he likes the outdoors a lot, those fancy WeatherTek (or similar brand) mats for his car could be good but obviously that doesn't involve cotton -- just thought it ties in with both the outdoorsy and car aspects.

In terms of experience gifts, I don't know your geographical location but sometimes there are racing events you can attend or even like 'driving experiences.' Even Formula 1 go-karting can be fun.

PS A pretty funny gift on the side could be that Crap Taxidermy book (https://www.amazon.com/Crap-Taxidermy-Kat/dp/1607748207/) since taxidermists sometimes use cotton. I know, way outside of the box here. :P

Sometimes we incorporate the theme for the "yearly" tradition in smaller ways (i.e., hat, socks, etc) and then are a bit freer to give something else that might be more desired or useful. For example, a quality multi-tool (which you can have engrained) might be something he uses every time he goes hunting for years to come whereas Moose-On-The-Loose boxers a novelty. XD

https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0316484156/ref=cm_cr_arp_mb_bdcrb_top?ie=UTF8

> However, as humanity gains more scientific insight there's less need to retain old traditions that mix bad along with the good. We should be able to design a better society that captures the good without the bad.

I think I've read that book.

I think its time to talk to your furry friend

Ask and ye shall receive.

https://www.amazon.com/Crafting-Cat-Hair-Cute-Handicrafts-ebook/dp/B00CCONZYU

I have that book. It’s hilarious!

Crap taxidermy

Crap Taxidermy https://www.amazon.com/dp/1607748207/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_OWqlDbH0XC8NA

When life hands you lemons...

https://www.amazon.ca/Original-Road-Kill-Cookbook/dp/0898152003

For the lazy:
http://www.amazon.com/dp/0811867048

Available HERE

Looks like you need to pick up a copy of how to talk to your cat about gun safety

He even has his own book: http://www.amazon.com/I-Am-Maru-mugumogu/dp/0062088416/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1321908378&sr=1-1

Amazon link.

https://www.amazon.com/How-Talk-Your-About-Safety/dp/045149492X

all I need to know about manners from a pug

What more could anyone ask for lol. I also have a lot of normal, proper books on my 'books' list

[You need this book] (https://smile.amazon.com/How-Talk-Your-About-Safety/dp/045149492X?sa-no-redirect=1)

Haha that's a good one.


Relevant

It's from The Mincing Mockingbird's Guide to Troubled Birds. My favorite coffee-table book. Here's my personal favorite.

Go the F*ck to Sleep, by Adam Mansbach.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Go-F-Sleep-Adam-Mansbach/dp/0857862650

Required reading :)

In case you were serious about your "Seriously wanting this book" comment... How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety: And Abstinence, Drugs, Satanism, and Other Dangers That Threaten Their Nine Lives https://www.amazon.com/dp/045149492X/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_94vQybWC9KJWG

He may think it's a joke, but make sure you still talk to him about gun safety all the same. https://www.amazon.com/How-Talk-Your-About-Safety/dp/045149492X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1497465386&sr=8-1&keywords=cat+gun+safety

Sounds like she's going to be needing a copy of How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety!

Hey look, an Amazon link. https://www.amazon.com/How-Talk-Your-About-Safety/dp/045149492X

https://www.amazon.com/How-Talk-Your-About-Safety/dp/045149492X

Ooooh awesome!

1. Cat's Cradle by Kurt Vonnegut. A tragic comedy, it tells in a wonderful way the toils of religion and the euphoria of love. A dystopian romantic fantasy, and apart from #2 the best book I've ever read.
   
   
2. Mother Night by Kurt Vonnegut. A comedic tragedy, the story of a man in love and in desperation and in trouble. We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be. Quite probably my favorite book ever, and I think everybody should read it.
   
   
3. Technically it's a play, but The Pillowman by Martin McDonagh. A really well written dark and disturbing story about a man in a totalitarian investigation. But it still manages to be hilarious in all the most deep and worrying ways. It's definitely my favorite play, and is really amazing.

Ever find yourself sitting around wondering, "What am I supposed to do with this pug?!" Worry no more, with this book!

Once you've figured out what to do with it. This book should teach you the appropriate way to do so.

My name is Rosa, and I gotta a lotta thoughts in my head, my bad if the force themselves out at the wrong time. ;)

Haha, I think you can probably spin anything! If not then I'm sure this would work.

Ah, he started with a whirly pop too, it worked pretty well. I think a good heat thermometer is useful if you want to have accuracy / consistency with your roasts - he uses an infrared laser type thing so he can get an idea of the bean temperature.

You might want to teach your cat about gun safety!

Just going to leave this here.

----
Edit:
Alternate link in case the above is broken for anyone else.

I found this on Amazon but unfortunately it's just a book

I think your Cat could benefit from this:
https://www.amazon.ca/dp/045149492X/ref=cm_sw_r_other_apa_i_lZc4DbV7H8S2A

Can someone please explain when "icanhascheezburger.com" became the poster child for lolcats? Not only are they frequently mentioned when "LOL Cats" is discussed in articles such as this, but they even put out a book, practically selling other people's works of art.

Whoa, that's pretty sweet of you!

I'd love Cat's Cradle, it's on my books wishlist and something I've been meaning to read for a long time!

https://www.amazon.ca/Mincing-Mockingbird-Guide-Troubled-Birds/dp/039917091X

It's only $4...

https://microcosmpublishing.com/catalog/zines/6200

[Edit] or cough up $9 for How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety: And Abstinence, Drugs, Satanism, and Other Dangers That Threaten Their Nine Lives

It's on Amazon!

My dad is Jewish my mom is Catholic. My friends enjoy giving me dradles, books like this, and the occasional calendar of handsome Jewish men.

FU Penguin

I say bypass the registry and buy socks, bibs, and onesies.

[You and your cat need to have a talk] (https://www.amazon.com/dp/045149492X/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_AJh5Ab3757CY9)

> Fresh roadkill, anyone?

This and this might help...

Zambando

When you mean frozen, you mean penguins. right?

If you haven't seen it so far: Five on Brexit Island

Blöjor och https://www.amazon.co.uk/Go-F-Sleep-Adam-Mansbach/dp/0857862650

From the related items, there is a Maru book‽

Dr. Breed was mistaken about at least one thing: there was such a thing as ice-nine.

And ice-nine was on earth.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Go-F-Sleep-Adam-Mansbach/dp/0857862650/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1464112911&sr=8-1&keywords=go+the+fuck+to+sleep

I nice bed time story

Well then... I have more to list!

• Infinite Jest by Wallace
  
• Blood Meridian by McCarthy
  
• A Farewell To Arms by Hemingway
  
• Cat's Cradle by Vonnegut
  
• Gravity's Rainbow by Pynchon

can we both get this and make legitimate sweaters?

For you

Yessir. Excellent piece of Coffee table literature.

Edit:Link

Cat's Cradle

Or, if you have the time, One Hundred Years of Solitude

Maybe not exactly, but this might work

In case you think it's fake: https://www.amazon.com/dp/045149492X/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_hupIDb1NX2D1H

Not a gadget, but my BFF's grandma really loves the lolcats book, though maybe not as much as we loved listening to her confusedly read through it.

https://www.amazon.ca/How-Talk-Your-About-Safety/dp/045149492X

https://www.amazon.com/LOLcat-Bible-beginnin-Ceiling-stuffs/dp/1569757348

Winter is on its way!

Inked

I think you could use this under a sweater.

Lighthearted reading.

Toys!

For your fridge.

I suggest reading this.

This led me down a string of odd google searches...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Canaan_Dog

http://www.amazon.com/Raise-Jewish-Rabbis-Theological-Seminary/dp/0316154660

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BK-RmterkjA&feature=youtu.be&t=55s

A good resource to have on hand is the Cat Owner's Manual. It's illustrated, actually entertaining to read, and covers a lot of the basics of cat care.

I will second a lot of the recs below:

• A water fountain is awesome; cats will drink much more water if it's clean and moving.
  
• Talk to your vet for food recs; don't buy cheap.
  
• Clipping claws can become easier if you follow the method described below to accustom your kitty to the process.
  
• Scratching posts/pads are crucial, and there are lots of types -- I keep some of each kind, but you'll want both vertical and horizontal scratchers.
  
  Toys can be any of a wide variety. One called Da Bird is almost universally popular. Catnip toys are always a hit, just consider the size and shape so they can be picked up and carried by the kitty. 'Kicker' toys are almost always a hit. I've had good luck with floppy fish, mylar crinkle balls, and soft spongy foam balls as well.

Have you read the book "How To Talk To Your Cat About Gun Safety?" It has an excellent chapter on how to know if your kitty is into Satanism. The photos alone are worth the price of the book! 😊 How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety: And Abstinence, Drugs, Satanism, and Other Dangers That Threaten Their Nine Lives https://smile.amazon.com/dp/045149492X/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_-cmDCbBJ0861H

https://www.amazon.com/How-Talk-Your-About-Safety/dp/045149492X

If you skin and clean it, you can have it ready in about 3 hours if you are reaching 100+ degrees during the day.

Source: I've actually done this for food. A humorous yet accurate book if you are interested in doing this, huge money savor!, check out this roadkill cookbook.

Edit: Most forget that your local library is free. You can even go to use their internet and pirate a copy if you so desire. B&W Printing is free too. What is better than free?!

Hey there.

I highly suggest this book

Suggested read: http://www.amazon.com/Downton-Tabby-Chris-Kelly/dp/1476765936

Oh oh! Her sister might really like this framed Sweet Buddha poster - a robot climbing a donut mountain to reach a chocolate Buddha. Really. I absolutely love it, so I might be biased. Or maybe a beautifully decorated indigo scarf?

Hm, if her mom has a sense of humor, maybe Sorry I Pooped in Your Shoe (and Other Heartwarming Letters from Doggie), I Could Chew on this and other Poems or the highly acclaimed (and more serious) A Dog's Purpose.

I would love to have this book. In fact, if you gifted it to me, it would make you a...

ROCKSTAR

Haha, thanks for the contest!

I was wondering if fish fart and I came across a wonderful book: "Does It Fart?: The Definitive Field Guide to Animal Flatulence"

https://www.amazon.com/Original-Road-Kill-Cookbook/dp/0898152003

https://www.amazon.com/Glamourpuss-Enchanting-World-Kitty-Wigs/dp/0811867048/ref=nodl_


This book sat on our coffee table until we regifted it. I regret doing that.

https://www.amazon.com/Original-Road-Kill-Cookbook/dp/0898152003/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1482348260&sr=1-1&keywords=road+kill+cook

relevant

Or you can just go with the LOLCats thing.

I'm also about to do a road trip with two other scientists! Here are some awesome books that either I've read, or I plan on reading on my trip:

Contact - Carl Sagan. This book is absolutely my favorite science-y fiction, ever.

Cat's Cradle or Slaughterhouse Five by Kurt Vonnegut, if you haven't read them already.

Anything by Ray Bradbury - specifically Fahrenheit 451, also if you haven't read it already.

If you're into full-on science fiction, I can totally recommend the Ender's Game series by Orson Scott Card and the Hyperion series by Dan Simmons.

http://www.amazon.com/LOLcat-Bible-beginnin-Ceiling-stuffs/dp/1569757348

http://www.amazon.com/LOLcat-Bible-beginnin-Ceiling-stuffs/dp/1569757348/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1335725815&sr=8-1

I beg to differ.

The Roadkill Cookbook. To be fair, I haven't actually tried any of the recipes so I don't know they're bad. But it stands to reason.

http://www.amazon.com/Kosher-Guide-Imaginary-Animals-Dialogues/dp/1892391929

Published several months before :)

I Am Maru

I love Japan because of its interesting history. I'm not really into anime or stuff like that, but I love reading about the history of japan before like the 1900s. And I would like the item because maru is awesome and adorable.

thanks for the contest!

Dang it.

Hmmm... how about The Pacific (Bilingual) $33?

or

The Total Deer Hunter Manual (Field & Stream): 301 Hunting Skills You Need

or (my personal favorite)

I Could Chew on This: And Other Poems by Dogs

It'd be fun to keep in the lake house too :D

It's from The cat owner's manual great little book for every cat owner

https://www.amazon.com/Accoutrements-Inflatable-Unicorn-Horn-Cats/dp/B00BPMMQDG

Cats LOVE IT - but look at his face on the box HAHA

https://www.amazon.com/How-Talk-Your-About-Safety/dp/045149492X/ref=pd_sim_21_6?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_i=045149492X&pd_rd_r=T20SYJPVCPRNKS2RS18Y&pd_rd_w=7Ny4u&pd_rd_wg=NrHsP&psc=1&refRID=T20SYJPVCPRNKS2RS18Y

this one is clearly important....

Sales will soar

https://www.amazon.ca/gp/aw/d/0898152003/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1468786479&sr=8-1&pi=SY200_QL40&keywords=roadkill+cookbook&dpPl=1&dpID=51ZIIIV9p6L&ref=plSrch

I just found this: Five on Brexit Island (Enid Blyton for grownups) :-D

Cat's Cradle

> this book,

I think you meant this one. Gotta take baby steps.

I have this book on top of my toilet: http://www.amazon.com/Can-Has-Cheezburger-LOLcat-Colleckshun/dp/159240409X

Allowed?

In the middle of Nowhere is a perfect place to practice gathering wild edible and medicinal plants. Just be DEAD sure you identify it correctly. Road kill is always available. I passed a cat this morning but I had already eaten breakfast so I left him there. How about a bug?

Head-explode:

LOLcat Bible: In teh beginnin Ceiling Cat maded teh skiez an da Erfs n stuffs (Paperback)

http://www.amazon.com/The-Cat-Owners-Manual-Troubleshooting/dp/1931686874 here's one source i loved reading.

I never thought your material was very interesting. I also hate "internet books" and I hope you end up on the shit shelf next to I can has cheezburger and Hot Chicks with Douchebags.

This is one of my favorites.