Best christian counseling books according to redditors
We found 72 Reddit comments discussing the best christian counseling books. We ranked the 21 resulting products by number of redditors who mentioned them. Here are the top 20.
1. Leaving the Fold: A Guide for Former Fundamentalists and Others Leaving Their Religion
23 mentions
9. Psychology, Theology, and Spirituality in Christian Counseling (AACC Counseling Library)
1 mention
16. Pure Desire: Helping People Break Free from Sexual Struggles
1 mention
Used Book in Good Condition
Oooo this is my wheelhouse!
First, I would recommend looking at the Mormon History Association Best Book awards going back to 1966. Quality scholarship, research, and writing are a mainstay with them.
Required reading:
Brigham Young: Pioneer Prophet by John Turner / Brigham Young: American Moses by Leonard Arrington
Considered two of the best books about early Utah and the Brigham Young years. Arrington's book was considered groundbreaking when he wrote it, and Turner's book brings in the valuable perspective of the non-Mormon writing about Young. For many Mormons, Turner's book will be less sympathetic to Young than Arrington's, but Turner also worked closely with the Church Archives (and spoke glowingly about them and that process), so his research had access to some better sources. If you need a primer for Brigham Young, I recommend Arrington's book. For a Brigham Young graduate level course, I recommend Turner.
Early Mormonism and the Magic Worldview by Michael Quinn
To understand much of what happened in early Mormonism, you must understand the role that folk magic played in the lives of Americans in the 1800s. Quinn's research at this time was top notch, and he was a quickly rising star among Mormon historians. Considered one of his best works, and foundational to the understanding things like seer stones, divining rods, visions, and everything else that happened in the early church days.
David O. McKay and the Rise of Modern Mormonism by Greg Prince
Covers late 1940s - 1960s Mormonism, one of the "rising moments" of Mormonism when we went from a Utah-church to a worldwide church. Prince had amazing access to the journals of President McKay's secretary, which led to some candid discussions about things like the publishing of Mormon Doctrine by McConkie, blacks and the priesthood, ecumenical outreach, and politics.
Spencer W. Kimball by Edward Kimball / Lengthen Your Stride: The Presidency of Spencer W. Kimball by Edward Kimball
Ed was Pres. Kimball's son, and the books cover both the apostle years and presidency years of Spencer W. Kimball. If you had to choose one, get Lengthen Your Stride, but make sure it has the CD that comes with the book. This has the unabridged manuscript prior to the Deseret Book edits, which is much more interesting.
By the Hand of Mormon by Terryl Givens (heck...anything by Terryl Givens!)
I'll admit - I'm a Terryl Givens fanboy. By the Hand of Mormon was the one that first got me in to him, mostly because he took the Book of Mormon as a serious work of literature to examine it's merits. It's not as devotional as many traditional LDS books about the Book of Mormon (it was put out by Oxford University Press), but it really gave me a deeper appreciation for the Book of Mormon as contemporary literature. Also check out Viper on the Hearth (Mormons on myth and heresy), People of Paradox (Mormon culture), When Souls had Wings (the pre-existence in Western thought), and so many others.
And just because I'm a big book nerd, here's the list of books that are on my desk right now that I can give you quick reviews if you want:
Let me just say how sorry I am for your pain. I know how it hurts, how confusing it is, how bleak the future, like the rug has been pulled out from under you. But know this: things do get better. You are going through the stages of grief and it sounds like are very much in the bargaining stage: "If the Church were true, why don't we see more specific revelation about current events?", "If the prophets have such foresight, how could they have completely missed how bad their hiding of history will look when the internet comes around in 50 years?" "If homosexuality is such an abomination, why are the scriptures, especially the BoM--the keystone of our religion and written for our time--completely silent about it?" etc. (At least those were some of my questions I wrestled with when the most obvious solution became more and more apparent: the Mormon Church just isn't what it claims to be.)
I really recommend this book: Leaving the Fold by Marlene Winell. It helped me to work through a lot of issues that I hadn't even considered were issues with leaving religion like self-esteem, shame, guilt, assertive communication, etc.
I don't know how comforting this will be at this time but know that many have walked this path and come out even stronger on the other side. I know that there's no way I would go back to the way I thought before I went down the rabbit hole even with all of its pain and confusion. "Better to Socrates dissatisfied than a pig satisfied." - John Stuart Mill. Make sure and take care of yourself and do plenty of self-care. Things really do and will get better for you. Best.
As a victim of spiritual abuse, I have found this book valuable.
Anger is a perfectly normal reaction as you begin to process trauma. So is sadness. There's a psychologist who talks about "Religious Trauma Syndrome" and has a trio of articles you might find helpful, as well as a website and a book.
Yes, I spent some time rather angry. It's been two or three years now, and while I'm quickly blunt with Christians who inappropriately insert their religion into conversation I'm not labeling and discarding religious people.
Fear of Christians won't be the result of your distancing yourself from them; it's the cause, more less, yeah? It's okay to step back from people or a community that are too close to a trauma you're trying to heal from. I personally had to back off of some friendships temporarily and cut some off entirely when I deconverted, for my own emotional health. When I felt able to, I came back, and my emotionally healthy religious friends were happy to have me in their lives again.
Do what you need to do to feel happiest in the long term, man. And if you can't see the long term, be happy in the short term. You deserve it.
I'm not female, but I have more romantic sensibilities. I would advise to fight sin it as sin in any other way. I mean, realizing the potential devastating consequencs it has and how the human heart turns all "small" sins into larger idols. It's easier to fight now than it ever will be, so arm yourself. I don't intend this to be a "just stop" comment, but at the same time, I feel it worth encouraging you to fight, knowing you have no guilt in Christ and He (and what He has ordained for your marriage) is better than anything else.
A couple of resources that have helped me:
Note on that final thought: there are three negative realities we have. They are sin, wounds, and weaknesses. You repent of sin, but you don't repent of a wound. You seek healing for wounds, but you don't need "healing", strictly speaking, for sin. And you strengthen your weaknesses, but you don't need more strength to overcome a wound. The point here is that there is a God given way of addressing each of these realities and confusing them can be dangerous. For instance, someone repenting of a wound probably has issues with viewing themselves in light of God's love and the gospel - and is probably feeding that in the process.
Counseling or talking with a good friend about why you are drawn to another will help uncover some root causes. And only then will you have enough clarity to fight or find healing in a positive way.
Hope this helps.
Here are a couple books to consider reading together. They can help him understand and deal with the pressures he's under, and also help you know what he's going through.
I don't know about doctrine other than 'only' between husband and wife.
There's this book (I'm not necessarily recommending it--just aware of it):
http://www.amazon.com/Between-Husband-Wife-Perspectives-Intimacy/dp/1577346092
Leaving the Fold
~ Marlene, Winel
My ex left the church of her father (a minister) and she recommended that I read this to understand the repercussions of her leaving her family's faith. Perhaps 'Leaving the Fold' will help you understand what challenges lie ahead.
Product Description From Amazon
This book by psychologist Marlene Winell provides valuable insights into the dangers of religious indoctrination and outlines what therapists and victims can do to reclaim a healthier human spirit.... Both former believers searching for a new beginning and those just starting to subject their faith to the requirements of simple common sense, if not analytical reason, may find valuable assistance in these pages. -
Steve Allen, author and entertainer
http://www.amazon.com/Leaving-Fold-Marlene-Winell/dp/1933993235/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1261167841&sr=8-1
Charles Taylor has no credibility on this topic and here's why:
Charles Taylor is a giant of the world of philosophy but he has one single problem, as a practicing Catholic he is incapable of imagining a world devoid of religious belief, he affirms that "community living" brings self-fulfillment and insists that religious beliefs serves an important purpose in making people happy and fulfilled.
Taylor sees society as a collection of communities living one inside the other, the Canadian Community containing the other communities like Russian dolls nested inside one another.
Finally, Taylor is blind to the fact that religious sectarianism destroys his candid view of religion and society.
His own religious beliefs blind him to reality, he imagines all religious people being exactly as he is.
Really enjoying the book Leaving the Fold right now. It helps realize more clearly the negative impact religion may have had on you and helps normalize what you are feeling. There are also optional exercises at the end of each chapter to process the material.
Then there is the Recovering from Religion website with articles for different topics. A live chat as well with someone who can help point you to resources & see if there is a anonymous support group in your area.
[WLC 143-145]
[1 Cor 13:7] and [James 3:14-16] and [James 4:11-12] tell us to believe the best about people. Be gracious in our evaluations and judgments of them.
Lastly - Ken Sande is great on this kind of stuff. http://peacemaker.net/project/charitable-judgments-an-antidote-to-judging-others/ - if you appreciate that post, you should pick up the book: The Peacemaker if you don't already have it. It's not just about resolving conflict, but also changing the way we think about others to be more charitable before any conflict ever happens.
/u/versebot
A book that helped me a lot was “Leaving the Fold”
Good luck on your journey!
A book that helped me.
Two experts come to mind:
Dr. Marlene Winell specializes in what she calls Religious Trauma Syndrome and wrote the book Leaving the Fold about recovering psychologically from fundamentalism. I also like her articles on the website Journey Free.
Dr. Valerie Tarico is great, too. Loved her book Trusting Doubt: A Former Evangelical Looks at Old Beliefs in a New Light.
Both are former evangelicals but get pretty deep into analyzing the effects of their learned patterns; their work is well-researched and insightful, perhaps more on the social sciences side than what you were asking for.
Thanks for this... will definitely check out more.
I have been reading this book... it is geared more to conservative evangelicals but I think there is much overlap... Of course it doesn't get into the details of the JW org, though. https://www.amazon.com/Leaving-Fold-Marlene-Winell/dp/1933993235/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1492974859&sr=8-1&keywords=leaving+the+fold
Hi, me again! I'm going to recommend four very different resources for this! Other than the first one, it's no particular order.
First, Pastrix by Nadia Bolz-Weber. Nadia is a Lutheran pastor in the ELCA who runs a somewhat "experimental" church in the Denver area. She's fairly unconventional as a pastor (the book opens with "Shit!"), but I think she presents a really solid exposition of what it means to be Lutheran regardless of your political orientation. There's a pastor here who subs at my church periodically who was Nadia's intern for a bit.
Second, The Oxford Illustrated History of the Reformation is probably the best intro-level history overview that exists on the subject. It's not just limited to Lutherans, of course, since we weren't the entire Reformation, but he goes into great detail. If you prefer your history in spoken form, the "Great Courses" lectures on Luther are also fantastic.
Third, Christopraxis by Andrew Root is a fantastic overview of what it means to live according to Luther's "theology of the cross", especially if you're suffering or know people who are suffering. The book is "practical theology", meaning that it doesn't get bogged down with definitions. Root is a professor at Luther Seminary in Minnesota.
Fourth, the ELCA social statements which are available in full online. These are the ELCA's "position statements" on things like human sexuality, abortion, peace, and other topics that are important in our society. These documents come out of the general assemblies of the ELCA, which are churchwide meetings every three years. Obviously, people disagree on putting these things into practice. As such, they're more intended as frameworks of thought, ways to make thoughtful decisions about these topics, and not so much dogma about the topics themselves.
In regards to your wife's questioning of TSCC and possible loss of faith, there are many resources online about exiting from cults and other controlling environments. There are books available which help you navigate these processes so you know what you're feeling is normal and expected. Here are some books which I purchased but have not read, yet. I felt they came well recommended.
If she is not interested in reading them, you might just to coach her along in a passive way.
Also, you mentioned her receiving one-on-one counseling sessions for your relationship. In losing my own testimony, I did find a competent therapist I visited once in awhile to discuss what was going on. I felt the counseling very helpful and probably assisted me in transitioning out much more quickly.
Best of luck to ya.
Yeah. I get terrified of how people use religion to knock other people down. Have you ever read the book "Leaving the Fold?" I also grew up in a church like that, and this book helped me deal with a lot of that stuff.
Link, in case you're interested: http://www.amazon.com/Leaving-Fold-Marlene-Winell/dp/1933993235
I'm not sure about in Australia, but you can check out these resources:
http://recoveringfromreligion.org/
http://journeyfree.org/
http://www.amazon.com/Leaving-Fold-Marlene-Winell/dp/1933993235
It seems Jung matured in his understanding over time. It might be interesting to take a look at this book
>Jung, Jungians and Homosexuality by Robert Hopcke. He's a gay jungian psychotherapist in San Francisco.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/1579108636/ref=cm_sw_em_r_mt_dp_U_JFtKDb7GFAJHT
I'm not doubting that many people have benefited from the specialists and christian counselors and psychologists. But what I am saying is that the Bible is the only infallible Word of God and that it is not only beneficial but also necessary in all areas surrounding counseling.
In this book Dr. Eric Johnson gives 5 different authors/counselors the ability to lay out their own view of counseling, but also to provide insight into a case study, and then the ability to write a rebuttal to the other authors. All of them are claiming to be faith based, and yet only two of them are committed to using the bible at all. I think that there is a worldview issue in the area of counseling, and that sometimes Christians are on the wrong side of cultural issues. I think that other practices and other counselors can make great observations about humans and their behavior, but apart from the Bible, they will miss the mark on correctly diagnosing what they have observed and on what the primary solution to the presenting problem is, which ultimately is found in Jesus Christ.
Instead of spending time and energy that I don't really have to answer what I could fill a book with, I'll drop some relevant quotes from Dr. Marlene Winell's book "Leaving the Fold", which I highly encourage you to read. Warning, I'm about to drop a lot of text to read. Read it in chunks if you have to. But if you really do want to understand, please read it all, even if you have to take breaks.
Disclaimer: the author uses the terms Christianity, conservative Christianity, and fundamentalism interchangeably even though she is aware that they are not synonyms. I have only selected quotes that are generally true of almost all branches of Western Christianity (Eastern Orthodoxy is a whole different animal). I have editorialised all instances to read "Christianity" for readabilities sake.
>In Christianity you are told you are unacceptable. You are judged with regard to your relationship to God. Thus you can only be loved positionally, not essentially. And, contrary to any assumed ideal of Christian love, you cannot love others for their essence either. This is the horrible cost of the doctrine of original sin. Recovering from this unloving assumption is perhaps the core task when you leave the fold. It is also a discovery of great joy—to permit unconditional love for yourself and others.
​
>Another devastating assumption of Christianity is that you are helpless and hopeless without the salvation formula. Within that belief system, the only capabilities you could hope to have have been outside of yourself. All the strength, wisdom, and love considered worth anything were to be channeled through you from God. Consequently, you may now feel like an empty shell, without any core, and you may still have a residual tendency to look outside yourself for security and satisfaction.
​
>The notion of personal responsibility in Christianity is a curious one. You are responsible for your sins, but you cannot take credit for the good things that you do. Any good that you do must be attributed to God working through you. Yet you must try to be Christ-like. When you fail, it is your fault for not “letting the power of God work in you.” This is an effective double bind of responsibility without ability.
​
>Christians are also made to feel guilty when they focus on their own priorities. It is seen as wrong and sinful to be aware of your feelings, honor your intuitions, or seek to meet you needs. You should be above this kind of selfishness and consider God first and then the group. But, since people naturally have needs and feelings, sincere Christians who want to avoid guilt must, in essence, annihilate themselves. This makes for more cooperative adherents.
​
>The pattern of indulgence and then remorse illustrated by [the Christian] compares to the behavior of an alcoholic or otherwise addicted individual. The religious addict is attached to the benefits of religion—the sense of righteousness, the social approval, and the emotional comfort—and yet is tempted to explore the forbidden. Because of pressure to stay on the straight and narrow path, decisions to deviate are made impulsively. Then the fear of consequences sets in and the cycle continues with shame and confession. The individual is thus trying to live two lives, engaging in the psychological pattern of “splitting.” Physical symptoms such as backaches, headaches, and sleeplessness can result.
​
>However, the adult child of the religious addict lives in this world and he sees another way to live, while at work and on television, in books and magazines or from friends. Occasionally he tries to live in both worlds, enjoying the worldliness of work and friendships, but also returning to the “righteousness” of home. This conflict leads to confusion, self-loathing and an eventual loss of control. Isolation, physical and mental breakdowns, drug abuse, eating disorders, sexual acting-out and violent outbursts of anger could arise—always followed by guilt, shame, and fear of God’s Judgment.
​
>The key is that you are considered fundamentally wrong and inept, beginning with the doctrine of original sin. Everything about you is flawed, and you desperately need to be salvaged by God. The damage to self is more than hurt self-esteem. Your confidence in your own judgment is destroyed. As an empty shell, you are then open and vulnerable to indoctrination because you cannot trust your own thinking. Your thoughts are inadequate, your feelings are irrelevant or misleading, and your basic drives are selfish and destructive. You cannot challenge the religious system because your critical abilities are discredited and your intuitions rendered worthless. Illustrating the dependence that is fostered, Jerry Falwell (1982) said, “Start your day off by ridding yourself of self-reliance.”
​
>Once you are a believer and no longer have your own mind to rely on, it becomes possible to accept everything you are taught. You can accommodate incredible problems in the religion because you need to avoid cognitive dissonance, as discussed earlier. The stretching of credulity in fundamentalist Christianity is a frequent occurrence. Followers are expected to believe contradictory, nonsensical, and offensive “true stories” in the Bible and church teachings. This serves to strengthen blind adherence because your intuitive reactions have been annihilated.
​
>These expectations for personal change and meaningful community are critical for many. Thus when they are not fulfilled, or not satisfied completely, doubt sets in about the system. This issue is far from straight forward, however. Because the individual self is so denigrated in Christian doctrine, failure to experience the benefits of Christian living is usually blamed on the individual. “You weren’t doing something right. You need to pray more,” they say. “Seek the Lord, He is teaching you something. Humble yourself.” This causes sincere believers to keep trying for many years, frustrated but self-blaming. Since many other Christians maintain a positive façade, it can seem as though others are succeeding. Believers go through tortuous cycles of guilt and repentance, trying to get it right. Church attendance and Bible reading can become compulsive as an effort to fend off doubt. Moments of joy and happiness do occur, but you wonder why good feelings cannot be sustained. Many a Bible study is about how to live a more “victorious life.”
​
>It [Christianity] also made me less able to love people, rather than more. I was supposed to be full of this love from God, which would make it easier to see people for what they really were, but I didn’t find that to be the case. I was so full of moral distinctions, and I was so anxious to say what I thought was true and to set myself apart and to say I’m a Christian and I think this and that and this is why. I found myself increasingly moralistic and harsh. I found it harder and harder to be friendly, and I became more and more socially isolated, which was just the opposite from what I had imagined.
I know that's a lot to read, but I hope you seriously read over these quotes. They're just a tip of the iceberg for me, and I could say quite a lot in my own words if I had the time or desire.
Too many to choose from, but briefly:
The Peacemaker by Ken Sande
Repentance by John Miller
The Mortification of Sin by John Owen
The Book of Romans by John Murray
Jesus on Every Page by David Murray
Paul: An Outline of His Theology by Herman Ridderbos
Redemption Accomplished and Applied by John Murray
Collected Writings...4 Volumes by John Murray
The Shepherd Leader by Timothy Witmer
I am also partial to most things by Sinclair Ferguson and Richard Gaffin.
Definitely Brian Croft's Practical Shepherding Series, as a start. I know that, looking at that series, you'll think "Gospel-Centered Funerals?! I'm gonna be a youth pastor!" Trust me, it happens and you need to know how to do a funeral well. All of those books are easy-to-read and jam-packed with helpful information.
Another good one is The New Pastor's Handbook. Its primary audience is senior pastors, but I got a copy for my friend who just became a youth pastor and he said he read it profitably.
Edit: One more, Quick Scripture Reference for Counseling. If you have the whole Bible memorized with references, feel free to skip this one. Otherwise, it's a gem to have on your desk.
I think it would be helpful for you to find a support group for LGBT+ people of faith. My tradition doesn't teach a literal hell, so I don't have a lot of advice for you on that part, but I do think that the needs of LGBT+ religious folk are very different from secular folk, and that it is a niche where special resources are necessary.
A book that can be helpful for people leaving a fundamentalist background is Leaving the Fold which addresses the issue of how automatic thoughts like "I'm going to hell" can lead to depression and trauma symptoms.
There's also https://www.reddit.com/r/GayChristians/ but I have no idea what the community dynamic there is like.
If you like the linked article, consider this book which I have found extremely helpful.
I don't have panic attacks and anxiety now, but I did when I was losing my faith. I coped by talking with an old youth group pal who was also losing his faith, lurking on atheist / ex-Christian forums, and going through a book called Leaving the Fold, all of which really helped me.
There's one called Leaving the Fold that I haven't read yet but am interested in reading myself. Looks to have good reviews and seems appropriate for my own situation, may also be helpful for yours.
Edit: formatting
I've been out for 8 years now and I'm still struggling too, mainly because I have nobody to talk to about it either. There are no meetups near me, no therapists in my area who have ever heard of religious trauma syndrome.
The book Leaving the Fold has some really really good worksheets that helped me process things. https://www.amazon.com/Leaving-Fold-Former-Fundamentalists-Religion/dp/1933993235
Five Views of Psychology and Christianity is a great resource to have. It comes from a series called "Spectrum" which has multiple authors forward a position, and the other authors will respond. They take turns discussing their position, and then replying to other positions.
http://www.amazon.com/Psychology-Christianity-Five-Views-Spectrum/dp/0830828486/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1404257452&sr=8-1&keywords=five+views+of+psycology+and+christianity
I'm sorry for all that happened. Break ups are messy and confusing. It's important to think long term here. What memories do you want to look back on? A respectful relationship between the two of you that you moved away from (as painful as it may have been) or a toxic cycle that you clung onto desperately? Keep that in mind as you make your decisions and God will continue to guide you. While it may seem unlikely right now, you will be able to move on, and God will heal your heart! (http://www.hopeforyourheart.org/can-god-heal-broken-heart/) You deserve to be around those that respect your physical boundaries as well as your spiritual beliefs.
If you're interested, here's a book on sexual purity if you want to pursue an understanding on it:
http://www.amazon.com/Sexual-Integrity-June-Hunt-Heart-ebook/dp/B00DD69M9S
Looks like you haven't been indoctrinated into fundamentalist religion then. Maybe you are a part of the indoctrination cycle and this is some defense mechanism. Its not far off. I don't think you understand what a toxic doctrine is or what makes it toxic. For example Jesus teaching that thinking something "sinful" was just as bad as doing it (oh the OCD this creates.)... Heres another one....that you are worthless, damned and evil to the core. Heres another one, Without our belief system, you are going to burn and be tormented forever and ever and ever.(This is very impactful with kids, fear anxiety, coercion to conform). These are what one would call oppressive beliefs. You wouldnt know that if you hadnt actually tried to live them before. The graph and post are not intellectually dishonest, or hard to understand.
Children dont really develop strong critical thinking or rational thinking skills strong enough to withstand or fend off religious pressure until about the ages of 15-20. 86% of converts to christianity do so before the age of 14(children). 96% before age 30. Indoctrination is about pounding these ideas, beliefs, dogmas, etc.. into a child's head as effortlessly as possible; the child trusts and cannot mount an arguement against it. The child also wants to please the parents because it depends on them for survival.
Faith is actually the inverse of critical thinking. In a sense, it is backwardness. Critical thinking is about evidence based truth. Faith is about belief without or in spite of the evidence. Many philosophers have recognized that religion suppresses critical thought. Dogma, fear, isolation.. well all the factors she listed basically play into this. How many well adjusted critically thinking people have you met that were raised in strict fundementalist households? The proof is in the pudding.
She has a book called leaving the fold on amazon. You can read the reviews, there are basically like testimonials on damage healing from people who have bought and read the book. Its rated 4.5/5 stars. http://www.amazon.com/Leaving-Fold-Marlene-Winell/product-reviews/1933993235/ref=dp_db_cm_cr_acr_txt?ie=UTF8&showViewpoints=1
Worthy of Her Trust: What You Need to Do to Rebuild Sexual Integrity and Win Her Back https://www.amazon.com/dp/1601425368/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_3IeRDbFTTEHP3
Leaving the Fold
Leaving the Fold: Testimonies of Former Fundamentalists
Losing Faith in Faith: From Preacher to Atheist
Why I Am Not a Muslim
Take Back Your Life: Recovering from Cults and Abusive Relationships
In Search of the Light: The Adventures of a Parapsychologist
Crazy for God: How I Grew Up as One of the Elect, Helped Found the Religious Right, and Lived to Take All (or Almost All) of It Back
What worked for me in overcoming panic attacks and anxiety was working through this book. It's written by a professional counselor and has lots of really solid biblical guidance for trusting in God and experiencing peace. I highly recommend it.
https://www.amazon.com/Letting-Go-Fear-Thoughts-Perspective-ebook/dp/B07GRK4SXR/
Marlene Winell, the clinical psychologist who developed the idea of Religious Trauma Syndrome, wrote a great book called "Leaving the Fold." It focuses on the emotional impact of leaving your faith, and it has a number of excellent insights into the psychological effects of being raised religious. It also has psychological exercises for recovering from various aspects of religious indoctrination. I found it very helpful at the beginning of my deconversion. Highly recommended.
I'm not sure what books are suitable for Christians improving their own mental health.
At one time, I was interested in becoming a Christian counselor. Two of the popular books in that field are "Christian Counseling" by Gary Collins, and "Effective Biblical Counseling" by Larry Crabb. Your own pastor might have copies of those books or know where to get them. Some of the chapters in those books may address the topics that interest you.
On the subject of integrating psychology with spirituality, these two books on Amazon look interesting (but I haven't read them myself, so I can't vouch for their contents):
There is another way. That way says that God loves His creation so much that He cannot prevent evil done by humanity. Some forms of this are called open theism. I will recommend the following book that may help you understand this idea. Calvinists will claim that evil is a direct result of God's wishes. Others reject this understanding of God.
God Can't: How to Believe in God and Love after Tragedy, Abuse, and Other Evils https://www.amazon.com/dp/1948609126/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_tai_Gj6ODbSPH31R7
I don't know of any AA type groups, but I know there are meet up groups in various places, especially Utah.
Also, the psychologist who coined the term Religious Trauma Syndrome came up with this workbook to help people with the transition: Leaving the Fold: A Guide for Former Fundamentalists and Others Leaving Their Religion https://www.amazon.com/dp/1933993235/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_rQ5HDbTQVQ4X2
I'm considering giving it a shot. Maybe it could help you?
https://www.amazon.com/Jung-Jungians-Homosexuality-Robert-Hopcke/dp/1579108636
This is an excellent book on the topic. There’s also a long paper by the same author. I don’t think they book is online, but the paper can be gotten through scihub. PM me if you can’t find it
Isn't it funny how this disease can twist the way we perceive, interpret, and feel about people around us?
If I may suggest, there are people at church suffering as well. Pastor Ted Robert's book, "Pure Desire", touches on this and other aspects of sex- and porn addiction.
Congratulations! Fatherhood is incredibly sanctifying. Beeke has already been mentioned, but I can make a few other recommendations that are broadly reformed. Don Whitney's Family Worship is worth reading for its encouragement more than anything. I'd also recommend Paul Tripp's Parenting as it centralizes the gospel in parenting. There's also Ted Tripp's Shepherding a Child's Heart. You might also enjoy some of the blog posts on parenting at CCEF. Finally, a number of good resources are available down the road for catachesis if you plan to do anything like that, but for now enjoy these early days.
My wife and I are reconciling, and though we are only about 7 months past DDay, it's success so far. My wife and I both cheated, you can look at my post history to see details (I really need to write a full update).
I see from your post history that he may have some porn issues as well? Have you two talked about this in therapy? My wife helped me to see that I had a severe sexual addiction which I'm in recovery for now. I would really really sugguest that you get your guy a copy of Worthy of Her Trust (no affiliate link there)
It's really helped me to see things in a new light. I'm not saying he has an addiction, only he could say if his behaviors are compulsive and affecting the rest of his life. But this book deals alot in how the violation of a wife's trust is at the root of most lapses in sexual integrity whether they are physical cheating or pornography or something else entirely.