Best salsas, dips & spreads according to redditors

did you know that you can just buy them? send a pack to your buddies out in the field, they'll be the most popular person there.

Its pretty pervasive across the whole hobby but here goes:


Phrase|Meaning|Example Usage|What's being said
:--|:--|:--|:--
Good|Cheap|Can someone recommend good X|I'm actually going to get the cheapest X I can
DMR|M4|Look at my new DMR|I put a scope on my M4
Modded|Not Modded|Check out my new modded m4|I stuck a $5 grip and light to my rails
Plastic|I don't have the slightest clue about materials science|Don't get it, its made of plastic|Its made of non-descript plastic of unknown quality but I saw someone say 'plastic' is bad once
Polymer|I still have no fucking clue about materials science|Its polymer so its good|The manufacturer says its made of non-descipt polymer and people say polymer is good.
Aluminium Based Alloy|Zinc/Aluminium Alloy|We make our guns out of a high quality aluminium based alloy|Its practically pot metal. Aluminium 'based' alloys are to aluminium alloys what 'Cheese based products' are to actual cheese.
Snowflake Gun|Regret|Can someone recommend me a gun that's not an M4 or AK|[A month later] I wish I had an M4 or AK now.
Krytac|Krycrack|Memes|See Aluminium based alloys
Can someone recommend me a starter gun|Can someone recommend me a CM16|I wish I knew how to search|lol getting a Well MB01 fageroos; I'm going to be like nobreeches.
Camo|Multicam|Check out my new camo|I'm wearing arid multiglam in lush green woodlands

Jesus Christ, you made me picture a woman lactating spray cheese .

Best Day Ever?

I’ll just leave this here.. https://www.amazon.com/Johnnys-Garlic-Spread-Seasoning-Ounce/dp/B00349SEUC

I'd bet she was talking about this stuff. Assuming that's true you'll have the last laugh because if she eats crap like that it'll kill her soon enough.

Lots of good advice in here, some not so good too. I'd say the fat + beans comments are right on. Bacon fat or even crisco would go pretty far. If you're sticking with black beans and want more Hispanic flavor profiles, Mexican oregano and cumin are really good places to start. When I make my black beans, I add 2+ Tbsp of Salsa Lizano, some salt, two bay leaves, and cumin to taste. Then when it's done cooking and the beans are how I want them, I mash something like 10-15% of them against the side of the pot and mix them in. For spice I would might saute some rough chopped serrano peppers with the onions.

If you want a different culture meal and like Cajun food, you can make red beans and rice. It's my favorite meal from my childhood and balls easy to make. You saute some andouille first, remove it from the pot, then saute the Cajun trinity (green bell, onion, celery) with a fat of your choice. Then add back in the andouille, your soaked red beans (NOT kidney beans), broth, bay leaves, and fuck that bitch up with cayenne, white pepper, black pepper, and salt to taste. More cayenne the spicier you want it. Sometimes if I'm feeling really fancy I'll throw in a pair of ham hocks. Let it cook like you would any bean dish, and do the mashing thing with them to make a nice thick dish. Remove ham hocks, cut the meat off, and return the meat to the pot. Serve it over white rice cooked with a bay leaf in it. Mmmm, perfection.

24 pack of MRE Jalapeno cheese spread

Have you seen the shit they feed American children?

Cheese in a spray can?

There's also "Cheez" Whiz, which as I understand it cannot legally be called Cheese. And that's under our incredibly lax food regulations.

Neon-Colored Ketchup?

So it most certainly does not sound disgusting from my perspective.

Buy a crockpot. Best investment I ever made.

There are a ton of crock pot recipes online , pinterest has tons.

my favorite is really simple

Chicken Tacos.
Put 1 16oz can of salsa into the crock pot
(this one tastes the best out of everything ive tried)

http://www.amazon.com/Newmans-Own-Black-Salsa-16-Ounce/dp/B004V65NPQ/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1376337447&sr=8-2&keywords=newmans+salsa

Put a pack of chicken taco seasoning in (Any brand is fine, meijer has a lot of different ones) Regular taco seasoning is fine too if you cant find chicken.

Stir that up well, then place 4 medium sized chicken breasts on top of it. They can be frozen, it doesn't even matter. Turn crock pot on low and let it go for about 5 hours, or high on 3-4 but stir it every now and then so it doesnt get burnt on the sides.

Once it cooks long enough, you can just stir the chicken with a fork or potato masher and it will fall apart into shredded pieces of chicken.

You can then make tacos for days with it. Be reasonable with your toppings and calories, but taco sauce is light on calories.

I don't get all of this every time I shop, but these are the things I eat.

Meats:

• lean beef
  
• turkey breast
  
• chicken breast
  
• pork loin
  
• white fish (tilapia, cod, trout)
  
  Veggies:
  
• broccoli
  
• cauliflower
  
• green beans
  
• brussel sprouts
  
• squashes / zucchini (butternut, yellow/green, spaghetti)
  
• bell peppers
  
• spring mix salad
  
• baby spinach
  
• kale
  
• carrots
  
• mushrooms
  
• onions
  
• sweet potato
  
• Salsa equation (jalapenos, roma tomato, clinatro, garlic, onion, cumin, salt)
  
  
  Grains:
  
• basmati rice
  
• brown rice
  
• quinoa
  
• bulgar
  
• chia seeds
  
  Fruits:
  
• bananas
  
• apples
  
• pears
  
• plums
  
• pineapple
  
• watermelon
  
• cantaloupe
  
• honeydew
  
• strawberries
  
• raspberries
  
• black berries
  
• blue berries
  
  Snacks:
  
• almonds
  
• pistachios
  
• beef jerky
  
• RX bars (i love the peanut butter ones!)
  
• peanut butter
  
• low salt triscuits
  
• baked lays chips
  
• spicy/lime peanuts
  
  Dairy:
  
• skim milk
  
• lactose free milk
  
• almond milk
  
• soy milk
  
• salted butter
  
• cheeses (cheddar , swiss, mozarella)
  
  Sauces:
  
• KC Masterpiece BBQ
  
• Lizano Salsa (seriously. get some of this)

Bit pricey, but...

https://www.amazon.com/MRE-Jalapeno-Cheddar-Cheese-Spread/dp/B01NBVHLKM/

I make black bean and potato tacos. Add some cheese and Lizano salsa.

Many of my other recipes include meat but that simple one is vegetarian.

Salsa Lizano 700 ml 3-pack https://www.amazon.com/dp/B006ZOWALM/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_eOBZCbJVV5WFP

Just a friendly reminder that you can still find Verde in bottles.

but have you ever tasted the delectable kirkland organic salsa

Newman's Own queso cheese tastes and smells like vomit. Not even joking. Go to Amazon and read the reviews on it. They are hilarious.

Go forth and spread it

You must buy.

Be sure to spring for overnight shipping! :P

You can get it on amazon

https://www.amazon.com/Salsa-Lizano-700-ml-3-pack/dp/B006ZOWALM

Heh, I’ve said before that I only enjoy junk food that physically hurts me.

Another one I’m a fan of is ghost pepper salsa. Though again, I find that the fairly extreme heat ends up limiting how much I can eat at once.

http://www.amazon.com/Cheese-Sauce-Powder-1-lb/dp/B000F9ZM7M

If I was I wouldn't tell you. This is what they use

https://www.amazon.com/Ortega-Bueno-Nacho-Cheese-Sauce/dp/B002YGR0XI

Source: a friend of mine used to work there

I think that one of the more common stadium cheeses is Gehl's which is 3g carbs in 2 tbls. Not too shabby.

http://www.amazon.com/Gehls-Premium-Nacho-Cheese-18-Ounce/dp/B004PENTHI

You can get it on Amazon:

https://www.amazon.com/Sadies-New-Mexico-Family-Size-24/dp/B07KPYNRBF/ref=sr_1_10?crid=3LMDCCCDIY4PY&keywords=sadies+salsa+hot&qid=1573674846&sprefix=sadies%2Caps%2C204&sr=8-10

https://sadiessalsa.com/

Herdez Guac sauce is great on everything.

https://www.amazon.com/Herdez-Guacamole-Salsa-Medium-Ounce/dp/B01KXWJQIG

Vienna sausages? Or the jarred meatstick ones for toddlers? Potted meat? (All not my personal taste, but maybe ok in a pinch?)

I've noticed a lot of basic burrito wraps last forever in fridge, and stores have on shelves. I think the cheaper ones are loaded with preservatives, but could work if you check and swap out. Add some peanutbutter pouches, condiment pouches to make "ham salad", and he could have simple sandwiches.

Tasty Bite Indian meals are pretty decent, shelf stable, and soft. I've also seen shelf stable hummus, in little aseptic triangle shaped individual cartons, if he'd eat that.

Edited to add hummus: https://www.amazon.com/Wild-Garden-Hummus-Traditional-1-76/dp/B000V5IMSQ

What about cheese, like these?https://www.amazon.com/GoPicnic-Copper-Cowbell-Gourmet-Portion/dp/B00CN502H6/ref=sr_1_2_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1504025879&sr=8-2&keywords=Asiago+cheese

Hunter Renfrow always makes me laugh because it makes me think of Mrs. Renfro's Salsa

I like to use Johnny's Garlic Spreadfor this. It's so good!

Ask and ye shall receive

I make this at least once a week, makes a nice high fat side if we are doing something like chicken and salad for dinner.

the first couple of times you try it, you will probably make them too thin, but you will get the hang of them.

also, I have found that instead of using the garlic powder itself, using the Johnny's Garlic Spread is so much better.

The best thing about Newman's Own is the amazon reviews for their salsa con queso

http://www.amazon.com/Cheese-Sauce-Powder-1-lb/dp/B000F9ZM7M/ref=pd_sim_gro_2

How about this?

Mmm gluttony

Vegan queso that looks so good, even my non-vegan self would eat it!

I can't imagine life without cheese. Do you use nutritional yeast? It is the best vegan cheese substitute, in my opinion. I use it on my popcorn and tofu. Cheese me please!

This hummus is pretty decent and already prepackaged and shelf-stable https://www.amazon.com/Wild-Garden-Traditional-Hummus-Dip/dp/B000V5IMSQ

The salsa I buy comes with the black beans and corn added already.

http://www.amazon.com/Newmans-Own-Black-Salsa-16-Ounce/dp/B004V65NPQ

If nothing else, check out the Amazon reviews for their Salsa. If I can find the link, I'll post it, but they're amazing.

Edit: Found it - https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B004V6A9SC/ref=cm_cr_arp_mb_bdcrb_top?ie=UTF8

For liquid cheese/queso, perhaps this?

I haven't tried it, but it's got some good reviews.

Verde sauce as in the taco bell one?

https://www.amazon.com/Taco-Bell-Verde-Salsa-Pack/dp/B00MNRYONM/ref=sr_1_1_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1478701452&sr=8-1&keywords=verde+sauce

https://www.amazon.com/MRE-Jalapeno-Cheddar-Cheese-Spread/dp/B01NBVHLKM/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?keywords=jalapeno+cheese+spread&qid=1563233187&s=gateway&sprefix=jalapeno+chees&sr=8-1

Edit: disregard, reviews said it’s not the same

Have you tried A Go Picnic? I love to bring them to school when I am going to spend the day at the library, because they don't need refrigeration or heating. They have a lot of different combinations, some with cured meats, some with peanut butter, some with hummus, and some with other types of spreads. They usually have crackers, something to put on the crackers, a trail mix or fruit snack and a treat. I usually I have to eat something with it because they are not very filling, but I think they would be the perfect size for kids. You can get them at a lot of grocery stores, and Amazon also sells them. Here is a link to their website, and Here is a link to variety pack you can buy on Amazon.

Most of their stuff is good, but for the love of all that is good in this world, stay away from the queso

Herdez makes an avocado salsa that looks a lot like this. I'd venture that it is something similar.

https://www.amazon.com/Herdez-Guacamole-Salsa-Medium-Ounce/dp/B01KXWJQIG

The most important thing for me is a place for the kids to turn in their work, and a place for me to put their graded work. (I teach 9th grade.) This allows for the kids to have a system which they know and are comfortable with, and allows me to stay organized and not lose papers.

As others have mentioned, you need a stash of things for you. In my area I have:

• Cough drops (my throat hurts sometimes)
  
• Hand sanitizer (which I keep out of sight because out of sight is out of mind)
  
• Nice tissues (there's a cheap box on my desk, but the nice ones are hidden)
  
• Snaaaaacks (mostly nuts but also some candy)
  
• Pain reliever of choice
  
• Tampons (you can never have enough)
  
• Sanitizing cleaning spray (in case of emergencies/if something is icky)
  
• Glasses cloth (because my glasses are always dirty)
  
• Mints
  
• Body spray
  
• Band Aids (I ask the nurse for some extra that I keep in my room)
  
• Can of air freshener (puberty smells)
  
• An extra, non-perishable lunch (you can get these as singles at some grocery stores)
  
• A couple extra dollars in case I have no food or want a soda

I've been using Herdez Avocado Salsa for my green enchiladas - tastes great.

https://www.amazon.com/Herdez-Guacamole-Salsa-Med-15-7/dp/B01KXWJQIG

Shelf stable hummus! Not as good as fresh Hummus... but it is protein, and delicious. You can buy some avocados, tomatos, and grow sprouts(super easy). All of them don't need refrigeration. Make a mean veggie-head sandwich.
http://www.amazon.com/Wild-Garden-Traditional-Hummus-Dip/dp/B000V5IMSQ

Also You can get those tuna bags that come with stuff to mix in them.

Check out wild garden hummus- they have individual packets that don't need to be refrigerated. I've found them at my local grocery store (Hy-Vee and World Market).

http://www.amazon.com/Wild-Garden-Traditional-Hummus-Dip/dp/B000V5IMSQ

http://www.amazon.com/Kirkland-Signature-Organic-Salsa-Medium/dp/B0059U6GUY/ref=sr_1_4_s_it?s=grocery&ie=UTF8&qid=1463745250&sr=1-4&keywords=salsa

Maybe about half of one of these?

If you search amazon.com for cheese sauce powder it yields a number of results. Here is one example.

Yep! Here's one brand, it's also in the GoPicnic meal boxes. There's also this brand which includes crackers.

Cheez wiz in-a-can:

https://www.amazon.com/Cheez-Whiz-Cheddar-Canister-Cheez-Whiz/dp/B01B02GEBU

Is his name Herdez?

Amazon - Herdez guacamole-mayo goo in a jar

http://www.amazon.com/Gehls-Premium-Nacho-Cheese-18-Ounce/dp/B004PENTHI/ref=sr_1_3_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1458269113&sr=8-3&keywords=nacho+cheese This stuff is exactly the same as far as consistency, but the taste is a bit different.

Also...... https://www.amazon.com/MRE-Jalapeno-Cheddar-Cheese-Spread/dp/B01NBVHLKM

The Old English cheese I know comes in a jar. http://www.amazon.com/Kraft-Old-English-Cheese-Spread/dp/B005DDC4XK

Mrs. Renfro's brand salsa is pretty awesome. The Ghost Pepper variety does not mess around.

Here is 6+ lbs of cheese sauce. Go.

http://www.food.com/recipe/taco-bell-style-green-sauce-347669

https://www.walmart.com/ip/Taco-Bell-Verde-Salsa-7-5-oz/29029223

https://www.amazon.com/Taco-Bell-Verde-Salsa-Pack/dp/B00MNRYONM/ref=pd_sim_325_1?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=FPSSW9FYEEKRGCZTXC15

Have you ever had it?

It is just a sharp cheese taste. It is almost like that Old English Cheese Spread.

It tastes like sharp cheddar regurgitated up by a momma bird.

Nope. That's Kraft Cheese Spread. Or Kaukauna, the better version. Cheez whiz definitely comes in a can.

I humbly admit I was wrong,
Sorry!

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B005DDC4XK?pc_redir=1413778143&robot_redir=1

That's the cheese spread I thought he was referring to. :)