Best love & loss books according to redditors

We found 143 Reddit comments discussing the best love & loss books. We ranked the 50 resulting products by number of redditors who mentioned them. Here are the top 20.

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Top Reddit comments about Love & Loss:

u/Waksss · 35 pointsr/Christianity

I cannot recommend enough her book Everything Happens for a Reason: And Other Lies I've Loved. It's my early contender for best book I've read this year.

Also check out her interview on NPR

Edit: I can't spell.

u/kallisti_gold · 21 pointsr/WitchesVsPatriarchy

the witch doesn't burn in this one, Amanda Lovelace

https://www.amazon.com/witch-doesnt-burn-this-one/dp/1449489427

u/Joseph-Urbanek · 9 pointsr/Catholicism

Before focusing on conversion. Focus on being a friend.

Take a look at the book “Where the hell is God”. By Father Richard Leonard. He and his sister Tracy had a crisis of Faith when she was in an automobile accident and rendered a quadriplegic. You can also look up his sermons on YouTube. For example for 3 years after her accident she would ask her Brother who is a Priest to kill her to put her out of her misery.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/1587680602/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_awdb_t1_95CLBbPBRN78P

u/choojo444 · 6 pointsr/Reformed

> Maybe give her a book on fertility.

I think the book this woman needs is this one. Her weird beliefs about science aren't the biggest problem here. It's her lack of sensitivity towards a hurting couple.

u/Seriphosify · 6 pointsr/Jung

Read anything and everything by Edinger. In particular, Ego and Archetype, The Creation of Consciousness, and The New God-Image.

Neumann's Origin and History of Consciousness.

Robert Johnson's He, She and We series to get a better grasp on the masculine and feminine archetypes and the interplay between them.

This book (https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/087477618X/ref=dbs_a_def_rwt_bibl_vppi_i0) which is a compilation of essays across various authors (including Jungian analysts) elaborating on the concept of the Shadow and how it plays a role in one's life. Cannot recommend this one enough.

And finally, Robert Moore's King Warrior Magician Lover: Rediscovering the Archetypes of the Mature Masculine. He even as an individual book on each of the individual archetypes, but those are extremely hard to find, and very expensive. You can probably find the audio lectures online though.

u/benadreti · 5 pointsr/Judaism

> There are some negative personality traits which I daily fall prey to that I want to eliminate

This is where I figured you were heading. You are certainly not alone, everyone probably has some trait that they could do without. It's a wonderful thing that you are so conscious of them and determined to change them - that's half the battle. To quote one of many rabbis: "For a person is alive only in order to break a [negative] character trait that he has not broken until now. Therefore one should always strengthen one’s self; for if he does not strengthen himself, why is he alive?” You're not likely to reach a point of "perfection" - but struggling in that direction is to really live.

There is a topic in Judaism called "mussar" - essentially self-improvement and character traits. There is an author Alan Morinis who has written a few books about mussar in a way that's accessible for non-Jews.

One thing that I keep in mind for myself is that one day I'll have children and I don't want to pass on my negative traits to them. God willing one day you'll have your own family, and you have the opportunity to build yourself up into the best possible husband and father. Figure out who you want to be, stay focused on it, and you can achieve it.

u/whatadayholytoledo · 5 pointsr/Divorce

I’ve been on this sub for nearly a year now. You can see my post history if you like. Anyway... I am not saying this with any certainty of course, but as your anonymous internet friend, I urge you to prepare yourself for a future revelation of an undisclosed relationship. Whether it turns out to be technical infidelity or not. It won’t really matter.

Your situation sounds incredibly similar to mine. Especially the irrational anger and defensiveness in counseling.

Check out Susan Anderson’s book about abandonment. It really helped me a lot.

And I’m sorry. 😔

The Journey from Abandonment to Healing: Revised and Updated: Surviving Through and Recovering from the Five Stages That Accompany the Loss of Love https://www.amazon.com/dp/0425273539/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_K8zSDb4JDXJ2K

u/zopilotemachine · 5 pointsr/AskWomen

There were two angles that specifically helped me get a foothold in the whole body acceptance thing: individual stories that didn't feel too preachy and studies/analysis of women's body image on a societal level. Basically, writing that was more practical and useful than fluffy, often grating "Love yourself!" type campaigns.

It basically started when I took a Gender and Society class that had a great unit on body image. I did some more reading on the subject independently after that, and When Women Stop Hating Their Bodies had a big impact on me, since it breaks down lots of possible reasons behind food and weight obsession with an eye toward cultural influence. It's also full of practical strategies for learning how to eat like a healthy person, which I needed quite a lot.

Then there are the personal stories, and those are great for me in blog form to read on the regular. Lesley Kinzel (who writes at xoJane and has a book, Two Whole Cakes) is my personal favorite. Writing like hers and scrolling through plus-size fashion blogs is a kind of exposure therapy for me. I was so afraid of fat for so long, but I can only read/see so many women being simultaneously fat and happy before it sinks in and I have to question my beliefs about weight. As viscerally true as it can feel sometimes, gaining or failing to lose weight won't sentence me to a life of misery. It's a big shift to accept that as true, since that was the root of body image issues for me: fat=miserable and alone. Obviously, it isn't that simple. So I pull that thinking apart and question it hard, and the body positive blogs are really useful for that. But I don't like reading anything that's telling me that I have to feel one way or another, even in the positive "love yourself!" way, so it helps to hear it demonstrated through the experiences of someone else. Way less preachy and more practical.

u/travisliebert · 4 pointsr/writing
u/EventListener · 4 pointsr/AskLiteraryStudies

Umberto Eco's Six Walks in the Fictional Woods is a very accessible introduction to thinking about literature in a way that blends narratology and semiotics. It generally sticks pretty closely to talking about the stories he has in mind, so I wished while reading it that I'd had a copy of Gérard de Nerval's Sylvie on hand, among others.

David Lodge's The Art of Fiction used to be popular as a supplementary textbook in creative writing classes because it just uses nice examples to provide a basic language for talking about literature.

John Sutherland has a number of books intended for a general audience that either introduce basic concepts of literary criticism or that just make careful reading fun, e.g. How Literature Works, A Little History of Literature, and The Literary Detective: 100 Puzzles in Classic Fiction (an omnibus edition of the books he's probably most well known for).

Gaston Bachelard comes to mind as someone who, like Gass, is just a delight to read: The Poetics of Space, Air and Dreams, etc. I'd put some other writers writing about their personal relationships to reading in a similar category: Nicholson Baker, U and I; Virginia Woolf, A Writer's Diary; and even Alison Bechdel, Fun Home.

u/amazon-converter-bot · 3 pointsr/FreeEBOOKS

Here are all the local Amazon links I could find.


amazon.co.uk

amazon.ca

amazon.com.au

amazon.in

amazon.com.mx

Beep bloop. I'm a bot to convert Amazon ebook links to local Amazon sites.
I currently look here: amazon.com, amazon.co.uk, amazon.ca, amazon.com.au, amazon.in, amazon.com.mx, if you would like your local version of Amazon adding please contact my creator.

u/chiubaka · 3 pointsr/Meditation

>I honestly believe meditation is only ONE tool that helps us face our shadow.

Agreed, shadow work in conjunction with meditation can bring true benefit.

Meeting the shadow is a great book on this topic. Here are some quotes:

"The shadow cannot be eliminated. It is the ever-present dark brother or sister. Whenever we fail to see where it stands, there is likely to be trouble afoot. For then it is certain to be standing behind us. The adequate question therefore never is: Have I a shadow problem? Have I a negative side? But rather: Where does it happen to be right now? When we cannot see it, it is time to beware! And it is helpful to remember Jung's formulation that a complex is not pathological per se. It becomes pathological only when we assume that we do not have it; because then it has us."

"This brings us to the fundamental fact that the shadow is the door to our individuality. In so far as the shadow renders us our first view of the unconscious part of our personality, it represents the first stage toward meeting the Self. There is, in fact, no access to the unconscious and to our own reality but through the shadow. Only when we realize that part of ourselves which we have not hitherto seen or preferred not to see can we proceed to question and find the sources from which it feeds and the basis on which it rests. Hence no progress or growth is possible until the shadow is adequately confronted — and confronting means more than merely knowing about it. It is not until we have truly been shocked into seeing ourselves as we really are, instead of as we wish or hopefully assume we are, that we can take the first step toward individual reality."

There's also a meditation practice in the Tibetan tradition called Chöd that is very similar to shadow work. Tsultrim Allione describes this practice as "feeding your own demons"

u/ketokate-o · 3 pointsr/xxketo

Spending my morning snuggling with the kitties and knitting while watching Hoarders. Meals have been planned and our grocery list this week is so small. I love it when that happens! We have so much stuff in our freezer/fridge and I’m proud of myself for being on top of things and planning around what I have. Tonight for dinner we’re grilling up some kielbasa and I’m going to try making a turnip gratin to go with it.

I’m going to the library today to get a couple new fiction books (still working on my nonfiction one). I ordered a book from Amazon called Body Kindness that should be here tomorrow, and I’m excited to start reading it. The closer I get to my goal, the more I’m realizing that it’s time to do the emotional work- the physical work will only get me so far.

KCKO y’all. Enjoy the day and be kind to yourself. ❤️

u/robotsongs · 3 pointsr/Divorce

Oof, it's hard, isn't it?

We had 16 great years together, but now she wants to spread her love all over town and I'm not going along with it. She told me recently that she made a mistake in saying "yes" long ago. Not when we got married, but three years before that when we were dating, trying an open relationship, and I gave her an ultimatum of "Micah or me-- your pick." She now says the last 13 years were a mistake. It's shattered me.

I have found A LOT of strength in Susan Anderson's The Journey from Abandonment to Healing. I'm not all the way through the book, but so far it's been immense. You gotta do the exercises, they're soooo helpful. And the theory of the book, ekeru, is, to me, incredibly beautiful, inspiring, and gives me strength.

I doubt you're no longer cute. You just gotta work on loving yourself and finding that cute that's already inside you. If you have a problem with what's on the outside, then when you find the inside cute, I have a feeling the outside will follow along.

Love yourself. Work on yourself. Reclaim your self. That's the hardest part (and I'm right there with you), and when you can finally sit in a room by yourself and be perfectly content, you'll know you did the work and you're stronger than you were even 16 years ago.

Go you, homie.

u/timjimtim · 3 pointsr/BreakUps

I'm not sure if you could buy this in a book store but it's called "How to heal a broken heart" by Guy Winch. It's available on amazon (as hardcover or kindle version): https://www.amazon.com/How-Fix-Broken-Heart-Books/dp/1501120123

It's short but I think it's worth it. The writer has a couple of TED talks, here is one. It's about going through a breakup: https://www.ted.com/talks/guy_winch_how_to_fix_a_broken_heart

I hope I was able to help and good luck on your search!

u/slabbb- · 3 pointsr/Jung


>I might be wrong but I feel like theres a lack of books or discussion on this subreddit regarding the shadow in jungian psychology

I'd say not wrong, but maybe your perspective and feeling on it speaks more about something you're seeking or need that you perceive as lacking round these parts?

The shadow is a regular topic among a few repetitive subjects round here, particularly the personal dimensions of it; people are wrestling with it and discussing its manifestations in their lives fairly frequently. I think I even recall posts you've asked questions about aspects of it or shared your own personal experiences tackling it in threads dealing with it.

It is however a difficult subject and complex and/or archetype to deal with. Perhaps shame is a regulating factor in terms of some of its details and 'mapping' that dissuade in specificities and details in its appearance and descriptive recounting in the sub?

The collective aspect seems different. In personal experience this treads into contact with an unspeakable, impersonal palpable, consuming embodied horror and destructive something or quality of presence.

There's an immense pain lurking here that isn't individual.

This concerns subject terrain such as the abject and horror in particular.

>perhaps because of the great openness, and painfully truthfullness one has to express to make such a book.

Yeah, you're likely right.

Tentatively I'd suggest this is being explored and 'channeled' or possibly even sublimated, in both a Freudian and Jungian sense, (while possibly, again tentatively, largely unconsciously), in horror literature, weird fiction territory or crime writing and not necessarily in analytical psychological domains, but I may be wrong in my own current perspective (hence my provisional stance).

>So I was wondering if Jung or his prodigies wrote anything that goes into the deeper layers of the (collective) shadow. Similar to Aion but revolving around the shadow archetype instead of The Self.

None that I'm aware of without some digging, but a couple of fiction authors, one closer to Jung in terms of era, that come to mind are H.P. Lovecraft, and more contemporaneously Thomas Ligotti whose fiction, the little of it that I've encountered so far, seems to be dealing with the kinds of features of the shadow you're raising here.

Another fiction author but also journalist whose work strayed into extreme and dangerous undercurrents in his society (Sweden) that comes to mind is Stieg Larsson, but I've only read interviews or articles of his dealing with what could be called 'deep, dark, shadow' material in terms of the social activities he investigated in his journalistic capacities. His fiction though, apparently, draws on this and weaves into narratives that explore and map it. So maybe there is something there for you?

>Works regarding deviant sexuality and the source of fetishes and what type of complexes and archetypes their linked too would also be greatly appreciated. Or anything regarding the beast inside man

Some of what your raising in your OP concerns affect and trauma; the "darker depths of the shadow" are usually if not always going to involve trauma somewhere. In terms of the scale of its reach and commonality in human experience and roots of history there is so much untold and unresolved trauma that pertains to the "beast inside man".

A Jungian analyst whose work dives into trauma from a Jungian perspective is Donald Kalsched. His first book for instance The Inner World of Trauma describes case studies that are definitely in this territory. Kalsched maps it out according to a post-Jungian framework that discusses what this content may be serving psychologically and approaches to the healing of it. The deeper and darker aspects of the shadow breathe and are witnessed in these pages, it's a profound book.

Another reader in the sub recently mentioned this book, Meeting The Shadow. Perhaps there are essays there that are relevant?

Elsewhere, I'm aware of, but also only in a cursory manner, the work of a philosopher and neo-Freudian writer named Julia Kristeva. Part of her subject concerns focus on the abject, both it's social location, so its collective aspects, and its subjectivities. Though not strictly Jungian, her model is Lacanian, there may be content in her work that is relevant to your quest (?). However, her work is academic and very dense, so might not suit expediency in terms of being able to turn it over into useful, practical purposes, making sense out of it or time spent reading.

A good question jorn818.

u/the_quinster · 3 pointsr/Catholicism

Here is a link to Where the Hell is God on Amazon BTW

u/Sunflowerfield1 · 3 pointsr/actuallesbians

Are you seeing a therapist? It sounds like you really need to take care of your mental health, especially with all those break ups affecting you so negatively. I'd also recommend checking out this book: https://www.amazon.com/Abandonment-Recovery-Workbook-Guidance-Heartbreak-ebook/dp/B01ISAKSJ6/ref=tmm_kin_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=&dpID=51aN%252BQjdacL&preST=_SX342_QL70_&dpSrc=detail

It sounds like you need to build up more of a friendship network and perhaps attend some meet up groups - not for the purpose of finding a partner, but just doing activities you enjoy and developing some connections in your community.

Another option that may be worth considering is finding a platonic cuddle buddy - that helped me through a rough time, though it's harder to find women than men to cuddle in my experience. I'd recommend checking out CuddleComfort.com if that's of interest to you.

u/nawal86 · 2 pointsr/raisedbynarcissists

Written by an ACON:
https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00HJBMDXK

Fluffy but useful:
https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00TZE87S4
https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/0425273539

Implementation details:
https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/0753806703

Together, the above have helped me establish that a lot of my behaviour and painful experiences until the recent past were essentially the fight-or-flight system being triggered by stimuli related to fear conditioning. The painful memories are indelible, but the cortex can train the amygdala to "hold-your-fire" enough of the time that life can be enjoyable and rewarding, even though there will still be times when the cortex is too tired/weak to keep things under total control - but even then, it's possible to "just sit with the pain" and accept it, rather than try to avoid it and cause more problems. Good luck!

u/TowardsADistantWhole · 2 pointsr/Psychonaut

It seems quite likely that the trip has started to shake things up deep inside you, which now needs further enquiry in order to process and integrate. In my opinion, the very fact that you chose this character's name does seem to lean towards a need for shadow work on your journey, but I am of course just taking a stab here.

I found the following two books extremely helpful on my own path and would recommend them to anybody interested in further exploration of the shadow side of the psyche. The first is a brilliant and varied collection of short essays on the shadow in various different areas of our life. The second focuses more on the technique of using dream work and active imagination to dialogue with one's unconscious. In my experience, active imagination is a very powerful practice, and one that is very much overlooked.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Meeting-Shadow-Hidden-Nature-Consciousness/dp/087477618X/ref=sr_1_sc_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1512061792&sr=1-1-spell&keywords=meting+the+shadow

https://www.amazon.co.uk/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_1?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=inner+work

This video also sprung to mind. It is a short lecture given by Anne Shulgin on working with the shadow in mdma/2cb sessions. Definitely worth checking out, if you haven't already done so: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DiFFzoaR25U

u/Elisa10 · 2 pointsr/DreamInterpretation

Nightmares are message from our unconscious that we really have to pay attention. Here you have very meaningful symbols like the house usually represent your own personality and how you feel with yourself and the basement is the unconscious, in your basement there is this ghost you are afraid. This ghost is your shadow, you have to confront it in real life and you are afraid of it. To do this you have to think of all the things you reject in other people. For example, you hate hippies who smoke weed...But what area in your life you are a hippie and more chill? Try to connect with the things you hate..

More info here:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/evil-deeds/201204/essential-secrets-psychotherapy-what-is-the-shadow

I really recommend this book:
https://www.amazon.es/Meeting-Shadow-Hidden-Nature-Consciousness/dp/087477618X

u/UnluckyWriting · 2 pointsr/DecidingToBeBetter

Here you go:

The NUMBER ONE thing that helped my BPD tendencies was meditation, which I did as part of getting sober. It allowed me to find a pause between the emotion and my reaction. I still FEEL the same shit I used to - but I do not feel controlled by it any longer.

My favorite meditation teacher is Tara Brach. She posts all of her meditations online and on her podcast. Her book 'Radical Acceptance' was a life changer for me.

I also use a lot of binaural beats meditations (you can find these on Spotify or YouTube, I use the Profound Meditation Program by iAwake Technologies).

I have immensely enjoyed Sam Harris' book Waking Up which is about developing a spiritual practice without religion. He has an excellent podcast but it is expressly NOT about mental health, I just think he has a lot of great perspective to share.

Susan Elliot - Getting Past Your Breakup - this book looks like a cheesy self help book but it was awesome. Really really wonderful exercises. I also got her workbook.

Susan Anderson - Journey from Abandonment to Healing - this book was the first one I read, it was very helpful in understanding the science of what is happening in rejection and abandonment. This was useful because it allowed me to see my reactions were very, very normal.

Vicki Stark - Runaway Husbands - very specific book about men who walk out without warning. This helped me identify warning signs and feel less alone.

Lessons From The End of a Marriage - this blog is from Lisa Arends. Her story is hard to read. But this is the best divorce blog I've ever read! Such wonderful advice here.

Glennon Doyle Melton - First the Pain, then The Rising - I watched this every single day for a month. For a while, it was the only fucking thing that got me out of bed.

Overcomer podcast - hosted by a woman I met in one of the support groups, just lots of great insight on abandonment recovery.

Attached - great book on attachment theory

DBT Workbook - this is a GREAT resource on how to build distress tolerance and skills to face a lot of BPD type issues. DBT was a therapy style designed for BPD.

Edit to add: Forgot the best one!

Pema Chodron - When Things Fall Apart - Pema is a buddhist nun and I absolutely love her. She became buddhist when her husband left her. This book is incredible. So much wisdom! I always carry my Pocket Pema with me, literally Pema is THE BEST! She also has a lot of recorded talks that I find so calming to listen to.

u/improbablesalad · 2 pointsr/Catholicism

I was just rereading part of The Jesuit Guide to (Almost) Everything today and the author mentions a book Where The Hell Is God https://www.amazon.com/Where-Hell-God-Richard-Leonard/dp/1587680602 - I haven't read it so I don't know if it would be helpful in finding answers.

u/laruefrinsky · 2 pointsr/loseit

Breaking Free of Emotional Eating It's about self-care through acceptance, its definitely helped my mood.

https://www.amazon.com/Breaking-Free-Emotional-Eating-Geneen/dp/0452284910

What seemed to help the best is treatment of depression (therapy & meds).

u/ajwells007 · 2 pointsr/spirituality

If by "it" you mean the Truth, then you are correct! :D At least in my opinion.. As I understand it, you can tap into the Truth and find what works. If it doesn't work, it's not the Truth. I ponder whether there is true objective Truth, or if it is different for everyone.. Or perhaps Truth takes on many forms with no version more true than another. Perspective and relativity.

It is also worth noting that at some point, what once worked may no longer work at a later time. You use a boat to cross the ocean, but once you get on land you need a new vehicle. You leave the boat and maybe use a car or bicycle. Neither is "bad" or unnecessary. Both serve a purpose for their leg of the journey. The further you make it along your path, the lighter your vehicle becomes. The less attached you are to what vehicle you use, and the more present you become in the journey. I think this is a good metaphor for the personality, and I've had a lot of the same struggles you're talking about (still do! ;P).

When I started learning about spirituality, I thought I was supposed to completely drop the whole "act" that I saw I was doing. Little things to get attention, fake interactions at stores, etc. I was faking happiness because I was taught it was polite. I then realized it could be considered a very unauthentic way to interact. However, I still HAVE a personality. I'm still me.. I still grew up with initial conditions that affect my psyche. Preferences, aversions, the whole gimick. When I tried to tackle the entire personality, I became overwhelmed with so much to fix. After realizing I did not wish to be overwhelmed anymore, I had to learn to be content with the me that has manifested in this moment. The me with all its preferences and aversions. This does not mean that I have to neglect desires for growth, because that's just another preference that I can acknowledge and take action.

I would suggest looking into Shadow Work. This has to do with the shadow that we've come to know, but is really just negative or unreal energy that we've accepted as our own. It's added baggage, really.. If we want to live lighter lives, we have to not only acknowledge love, joy, humor, connection, personality, etc., but learn to balance them and not attach to them. An actor does not attach to the role, but fully embodies the role nonetheless (with the exception, perhaps, of rare cases where the actor drives themselves mad).

Shadow Work Books:

https://www.amazon.com/Meeting-Shadow-Hidden-Power-Nature/dp/087477618X

https://www.amazon.com/Dark-Side-Light-Chasers-Reclaiming/dp/1594485259

u/ysalanter · 2 pointsr/Judaism

I have been practicing Mussar for 6ish years and it has changed my life.

"The Spiritual Practice of Good Actions: Finding Balance Through the Soul Traits of Mussar" is the most recent and accessible Mussar book. "Everyday Holiness" came out about ten years ago, and helped spark the current Mussar revival. "Changing the World from the Inside Out" brings together Mussar with social activism.

In terms of resources, American Mussar, The Mussar Institute, and the Center for Contemporary Mussar are good websites to look at.

u/Detective_Lindy · 2 pointsr/getting_over_it

It isn't healthy to hold onto a relationship when it is over, and I hope you can have some forgiveness for the way your former partner reacted: we all grieve in our own way. I'm in the process of getting a divorce, and I found this book to be extremely helpful. If you like it, there is a workbook that accompanies it, and even a seminar you can take to help you move along after your relationship is over (it's for divorced people, but the same principles apply). Hang in there. Keep your smiles for you now and be nice to yourself. There have to be things you hated about him...and now they are his problem, and not yours.

u/YoungModern · 2 pointsr/exmormon

I've had this book recommended to me.

u/livingflying · 2 pointsr/relationships

This is a tough one. I say this as someone with a weight problem myself.

First, I think you need to keep the emphasis on the self-care aspect rather than the attractiveness aspect -- that you are concerned that she's not taking care of herself, rather than you are concerned because she's becoming less attractive to you.

Second, she needs to figure out what's happening with her. Is she overeating for some reason? Is she using food to deal with emotions? Has she stopped making good food choices, or has she always eaten the way she is now, but now she's gaining weight because she's become sedentary? And why has she become sedentary? Why did she stop running? You can help her with this if she'll let you. If she's using food to deal with emotions, I recommend books by Geneen Roth. She may also be depressed.

When (and if) she gets ready to deal with weight loss, then make it something you do together. Make meals together, count calories/macros together, exercise together. Be encouraging and patient.

But remember that you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink. It's up to your girlfriend to decide she's ready to do something about her body size. And as a woman, it's hard to do something about it if you feel it's a condition of your S.O.'s love for you. It's a vicious cycle, because if you feel bad about yourself because you're overweight, you want to soothe yourself with food.

I think the best you can do is encourage her and emphasize the togetherness aspect of getting and being healthy -- that you can do it together, and that being fit will allow you to do more fun things together. Make it a positive thing, not a punitive thing.

And when she does eat stuff that you think is contributing to the problem, bite your tongue at the time it's happening. Nobody likes feeling watched and judged. But later, maybe the next day, you can gently ask her about it -- "I noticed you ate a pint of ice cream -- were you feeling bad?" If she can become comfortable talking about, rather than eating about feelings, it will help her a lot, now, and for the rest of her life.

This may or may not help. Sometimes people just aren't ready to change in the time frame we have in mind for them. You may get tired of waiting. Good luck.

u/newbeginnings1017 · 2 pointsr/Divorce

VERY similar to you; am 32, was married since 25, and have a 4 year old. First, you WILL survive. The only way you won't is if you don't believe you will. I'm willing to bet that having been with this person for this long the marriage/relationship became your identity. It's scary when you have all your eggs in that basket and then its tipped over and you're starting from scratch. I'm a big believer in that some of the best things in life lie on the other side of fear.

Take the time right now to really figure out what you want out of life. You have the opportunity to craft the life you want, and to be the best mother you can be to your child. Goes without saying that right now the #1 priority should be ensuring that your child is looked after. To that, you can't be the best parent possible if you aren't looking after yourself; similar to the rule of putting on your mask before your child's on a plane. I'm a bit over a year into this, and the best I can say is to just focus on working on yourself and your child. Figure out what went wrong in the relationship, and fix whatever you can on your end so you don't bring unnecessary baggage into a new relationship. Reconnect with old friends, re-discover old hobbies, and find new ones, and just take it a day at a time.

My therapist recommended this book to me, and as I work through now it I wish I had started reading it as soon as she recommended it a while back. It's based off a seminar that is tailored toward helping people in divorce rebuild their lives. It also includes info about how to help our kids get through this. Hope it helps.

I can't stress enough how you WILL be fine, if you allow yourself to be. This experience changes everyone, just a matter of whether it is for better or worse. It's going to hurt at times, it's going to be lonely at times, but over time you can grow and rebuild your life. Just take it a day at a time. I believe in you. You've got this!

u/Ascotformalwear · 2 pointsr/Jung

https://www.amazon.com/Meeting-Shadow-Hidden-Power-Nature/dp/087477618X?SubscriptionId=AKIAILSHYYTFIVPWUY6Q&tag=duckduckgo-ffab-20&linkCode=xm2&camp=2025&creative=165953&creativeASIN=087477618X

This is a collection of essays about the shadow by different Jungian thinkers and practitioners. I was recommended it and have recommended it to others.

u/ThzeGerman · 2 pointsr/LifeProTips

It does feel like that for a long while! And I know that, no matter what others say, the feeling will last untill it doesn’t.

At some point though, it will have to get better.. You can’t truly live on if you don’t work through it and boy is that a painfull process. As corny as it may sound, there is one book that really helped me through it. It made me cry, it made me cry some more, and then it made me realise (after which obviously more crying ensued).

How to fix a broken Heart - Guy Winch

For anyone interested;
https://www.amazon.com/How-Fix-Broken-Heart-Books/dp/1501120123

u/thelastcubscout · 2 pointsr/EDC

My wife arrives home from a longer-than-planned 14 mile run, giving me a
bit of bonus time for my walk this morning. I decide: Some walking & hiking for
fitness, some walking for strolling around the library book sale. Elapsed
time on foot: 1h 45m.

It was also of those days when you grab your stuff without checking what you
already had on you, and end up with a fun assortment of functional
duplicates.

Manifest, mostly top-down and L-R order:

  • Outdoor Products waist pack. This thing holds so much stuff. I love it, it's a bit goofy for normal walks around town but for longer walks or medium-length hikes it's amazing. I think I could do a comfortable overnighter with just this pack.
  • Casio AEQ-200W wristwatch. I really like the light on this watch
  • Hawaii keychain
  • Sony earbud headphones w/ USB-C adapter
  • Whistle (handy when you're hiking and need to get your 7 y.o. son to come back from a half mile away)
  • Kitchen trash bag (litter pickup around holidays or protecting items in bag from sudden rain)
  • Green generic bluetooth headphones from Amazon (not great)
  • White handkerchief (had no idea how convenient these are)
  • Blue windshield wiper #1 for my glasses
  • Blue Sky Notes spiral-bound notebook. I love the grid + lined layout.
  • Bic multi-pen
  • Black windshield wiper #2
  • Antiseptic wipes
  • Various band-aids
  • Wintergreen Breath Savers mints
  • XyloBurst Cinnamon gum
  • Uni JetStream blue ballpoint pen
  • Zebra F-701 ballpoint pen
  • Moto Z Droid phone
  • Victorinox SD Classic pocketknife (2)
  • CRKT Carson Design M16-10KZ
  • Gerber Paraframe
  • Victorinox Cadet (Black Alox)
  • Pocket change
  • Small 2d6 Dice. Remember you can always invent a game if you're bored. Using the ms reading on stopwatch as a PRNG also works.
  • Super old mini-wallet (photo / ID holder from a larger wallet). I have tried so many wallets but I keep using this. 20+ years old?
  • /r/thexeffect card inside Kokuyo PVC card holder
  • Books from library book sale ($2 total): Do What You Are, Meeting the Shadow, Great Scientific Experiments, More Joy of Lex. The first two books were on my Amazon wish list. Holy smokes!

    Not pictured: Squeeze bottle with 20 oz. Jolly Rancher Green Apple-flavored
    Singles to Go powder mixed with water. I love this flavor. Also: Library book bag, kept rolled up in waist pack.

    I extended my two favorite SAK tools, the mini scissors for hangnails and
    the precision screwdriver from the Cadet for all kinds of screws incl.
    phillips. Love that thing.
u/[deleted] · 2 pointsr/TwoXChromosomes

Read this book, it will change your life. I promise. I think every woman should read it.

u/ilovezombies33 · 2 pointsr/Divorce

I'm sorry to hear you're feeling this way. Lord knows, most of us have been in your shoes. I found help in reading books. Seemed like a stupid suggestion from a friend, but there are alot of self-help books out there. One in particular really seemed to resonate with me, and i recovered faster because of it. I'll hotlink it below but it or another one like it might be worth a read. You can get cheap used editions usually too.

Amazon

u/WoofKibaWoof · 2 pointsr/JordanPeterson

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Meeting-Shadow-Hidden-Nature-Consciousness/dp/087477618X

This is a pretty good read on learning about the shadow. Fair warning. You might not like what you find.

u/MountainCouch · 2 pointsr/BreakUps

Pouring some love your way. Really sorry to hear about what happened. It might take you a while to get back on your feet but you will. Just hang in their. Just remember that it's always always always possible to recover no matter what life throws at you. You are stronger than you think and you will find a way to get past this and find peace, but it may take time.

​

It's times like these that we need to put our pride aside and ask for help.

​

I went through a really tough breakup a year ago and this book really helped me. It was recommended by my therapist.

​

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1626258244/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o06_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

u/oliviapopeswardrobe · 1 pointr/keto

For emotional eating, I recommend reading some of Geneen Roth's books. I found Breaking Free From Emotional Eating especially helpful. I also really liked Women, Food and God and Feeding the Hungry Heart. Basically, she recommends finding the emotional source of your emotional eating to combat any sort of binging - and also to re-train your body to understand the difference between feeling hunger and feeling whatever feelings you struggle with that lead to binging (inadequacy, stress, worthlessness, etc). These books have been a lifesaver for me - cannot recommend enough!

u/missmovember · 1 pointr/badliterature

> a body of work that sets up a sort of boundary

Sorry to skip all of the other lovely things you've written about before this, but this is something that I've been thinking about quite a bit lately, wondering whereabouts I fit into the tradition of boundary-setting—and this is where I find Woolf particularly helpful for me. I'm not yet well-read or experienced enough, but it seems to me that the boundary toward which Woolf was working (if not actually demarcated—though, like /u/LiterallyAnscombe, I think there's plenty of material to further explore) is more discrete, more fragmented across her works than, say, the boundary demarcated by the Wake. I follow in her mostly being preoccupied with Time, but where her primary questions often seemed to be Who or Whom, mine is almost exclusively Where. Elizabeth Bishop, in her "Dimensions for a Novel" essay, has offered me the best ideas where to start, but I'm really beginning to think that setting the boundary of completely evading Time, chronology, temporality in the Novel is entirely beyond my capability. And to some extent, Joyce already does this in the Wake, though I'd like to engage a much more readable style, something more akin to my Guiding Light, The Waves. My "canonical strangeness" (if it's ever to be developed to full maturity) will most likely be quiet and accumulative—perhaps I'll be forgotten even as I'm being read, and somehow that seems appropriate. What I find absolutely fascinating, though, to take a step back to something you mention in an earlier comment I meant to address, I'm not sure if it's our Ultimate Allegiances falling separately to Joyce and Woolf, but I find it interesting that we are essentially working in opposite directions: you would like to concretize that which is air, and I would like to evaporate that which is concrete.

To address the thread you had going over at /r/AskLiteraryStudies, though, The Waves and Between the Acts are easily the two most important works or projects of the last third of Woolf's career. I would also highly, highly suggest trying to find her Writer's Diary. It's not as good as the five-volume set, but it's much easier to find and provides a very respectable introduction to or summary of the complete diaries.

also more bun-buns 4 u

u/SunSorched · 1 pointr/TrollXChromosomes

Oh I need them all.

​

Reminds me of this book a lot.

u/umarthegreat15 · 1 pointr/selfpublish

Six Times Forever: A Poetic Recollection of Hopeless Romanticism.

It's FREE for the entire day of 24th July'19 (12 AM -- 11:59 PM PDT).

​

A tale of obsession and consuming mania; spiraling into
madness until it sings as sweetly as a symphony.


A tale of loss and grief:
undone; unwoven; unloved?

​

Contains a lot of long-form poetry and prose as well. It reads like a story, rather than pieces that may go together or are unconnected.

u/WokeUp2 · 1 pointr/Advice

Fisher's book Rebuilding When Your Relationship Ends will help you recover your composure.

u/tropicalpuffin · 1 pointr/Judaism

Everyday Holiness by Alan Morinis

I feel like I'm always mentioning this book on Reddit and in person. I cannot emphasize enough how powerful this book is, the mussar teachings are something that both religious and non-religious can appreciate.

u/visinefortheplank · 1 pointr/Divorce

It's called Rebuilding. Also the 10-week workshop I did with a group was based on this book. There are other books out there, but I recommend this one.

u/Saguaromatic · 1 pointr/limerence

He's also written a book: Amazon link. It's very short—I'm about half way through it after one sitting—and very good so far, albeit fairly duplicative of the TED Talk.

Edit: Fixed link

u/thewritingtexan · 0 pointsr/NoStupidQuestions

Sometimes it isn't a weight thing. Sometimes someone just has a poor relationship with food. And weight follows. I have some books and apps for you. I have recently become a follower of Dr. Judson Brewer. His book A Craving Mind is amazing for learning about and breaking habit forming. But regarding food specifically try the app "Eat Right Now" or the book Breaking Free from Emotional Eating https://www.amazon.com/dp/0452284910?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share