Best stress management books according to redditors

We found 1,592 Reddit comments discussing the best stress management books. We ranked the 275 resulting products by number of redditors who mentioned them. Here are the top 20.

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Top Reddit comments about Stress Management Self-Help:

u/JBlitzen · 141 pointsr/instant_regret

Read this book:

It is extraordinarily well researched and may be the first comprehensive multidisciplinary examination of how people actually behave in emergencies and why.

Most of our assumptions are completely wrong.

Yelling fire in a crowded theater is an obvious one. Nobody would do shit. And that's how hundreds of people die in frequent mass fires.

As a result of their own research (usually not shared with fire departments and such), NTSB trains flight attendants to yell and swear at passengers to get their subconscious minds to recognize that something is actually wrong.

Another tidbit is about police firearm training. Again, not normally shared outside one department. The instructor tried moving from a "follow these steps or you'll get shot" speech style to a "follow these steps and you will stop the threat and be safe" style. And that tiny shift alone resulted in a huge improvement in the performance of officers he'd trained who find themselves in a shootout.

Some part of our mind in an emergency tunes out every thought except for what it clearly connects with success and survival, so that simple speech shift makes sure the mind retreats to sight picture and trigger control, rather than panicking.

I even notice it in video games now, I get surrounded and panic and my mind settles on "okay if I just put the sights on that guy and fire, I'll be safe". And it makes a huge difference.

The examples and lessons and conmections just go on and on, the book should be required reading for everyone who might someday face an emergency situation.

Which is everyone.

u/saucedancer · 98 pointsr/AskReddit

You're probably overextending yourself because you think you "need" to do everything you're doing for the sake of some deferred happiness when it's obvious you're neither happy now nor will you be happy at the rate you're going. What are you going to do when your big raise finally comes and you really cash out? You'll have missed out on tens of thousands of hours to connect with other human beings and you'll blow your cash on some useless shit/drinking and you won't know how to enjoy a holiday and you'll just go back to working harder because it's all you know to do.
Furthermore, if you took more breaks you'd get more productivity out of your work-time anyways:
I've done 19 credit semesters and I've also done 14 hour days of manual labor. If at the end of the day/week if you don't get re-energized/ a second wind from seeing other people and social activities you've got a lot of introspection to work on.

u/rcinmd · 61 pointsr/science

It annoys me that it took me almost 3/4 of a page of comments to come to someone that actually describes symptoms of ADHD rather than the "I am just not motivated and get bored easily" crowd. I'm an impulsive ADD and it sucks, but a lot of people wear ADHD as a badge or get out of jail free card either because they are "self-diagnosed" or given a diagnosis by a physician that just wants that sweet sweet procedural pay that comes along with the therapy. Adderall has also changed my life and I'm able to be in situations that every-day people don't have to cope with and I've become a better person because of the drug. I no longer snap at people just because they interrupted what I was doing and I don't (always) say things without thinking about the consequences. Sure the concentration and motivation were always an issue but there are a lot of other problems associated with ADHD that are so overlooked that most people just don't realize they are part of the problem.

BTW if you or anyone else is interested in a great book to learn about what ADHD really is, I highly suggest
You Mean I'm Not Lazy, Stupid or Crazy?!: The Classic Self-Help Book for Adults with Attention Deficit Disorder by Kate Kelly & Peggy Ramundo.

u/Jhana4 · 37 pointsr/Buddhism

To start with Buddhism

Get a copy of the book "What The Buddha Taught" by Walpoa Rahula ( a Buddhist Monk )

It is an introductory book to Buddhist teachings.

It is written in very clear language and it is very short.

Despite being short (151 pages) it covers all of the most important teachings very well.

"What The Buddha Taught" is old enough to be in many libraries and used book venues.

You can also download a free PDF version of the book .


For anxiety and anger have a look at these links from the wiki:

Dealing with Painful Emotions, Anxiety, Depression, or Panic Attacks

u/Pombologist · 35 pointsr/howtonotgiveafuck

I've had this too. Start by learning to control your anxiety response.

You can also work on some cognitive-behavioral therapy to help you understand and deconstruct your fears. Here's a book that helped me.

u/BigBigFancy · 34 pointsr/AskGaybrosOver30

I notice that you immediately responded to my first comment, but then didn't respond to my follow up comment (which asked where your anxiety comes from.) I think this is very likely because you're not sure of the source of your anxiety. That's totally fine -- no problem in the world.


Based on this post and your past posts on this subreddit, it seems like your struggle is really with anxiety. You find different things to sort-of 'hang' that anxiety on -- fear of aging, fear of 'not being enough' -- but it all boils down to anxiety. The worst part is that you've created inescapable anxiety traps for yourself. What I mean by that is that you're anxious about things that are unsolvable. You're anxious about aging, but can you stop aging? You're anxious about not having enough, but how much is enough? 'Enough' is a goalpost on wheels as far as our minds are concerned -- as soon as you think you've reached a goal, your mind will move the goalposts out to a larger goal forever and ever and ever, and so you'll always feel inadequate.


So it seems like the thing to attack directly is your anxiety. Working with a therapist or counselor is one good option. You can also look into other ways to manage anxiety. I recommend this workbook as one way to get started.


EDIT: Slightly more recent edition available in the US, for US readers -- this is a great book for anyone who wants to learn to master their anxiety:

u/GenderNeutralPat · 33 pointsr/AskWomen

Above all else get therapy.

Also do these self care things ( what works for anxiety will also work for depression and vice-versa )

u/esm · 31 pointsr/AskWomenOver30

Guy here. Large guy. Nonviolent by nature but quite capable of taking care of myself... and I, too, find violent outbursts disturbing. As others have said, it's primal. My stress levels go way up: focus, alert, am I going to have to defuse this, am I going to have to stop an attack, am I going to have to hurt someone. Fight-or-flight—and I'm one of the lucky ones because I have the fight option. I can only imagine what it must be like for those who don't.

You are directly inflicting stress on people. Stress is not good for the human body. It also takes time to return to baseline, and bad things often happen during the hormone decay time. Frequent unpredictable outbursts are a recipe for an unhappy life. I choose to avoid violent people in my life. It sounds like the people in your life are making that choice too.

u/cyanocobalamin · 26 pointsr/AskMenOver30
u/99trumpets · 24 pointsr/askscience

I GOT THIS, I GOT THIS ONE. Ok, so, I've been studying effects of chronic stress in humans and wildlife (mostly wildlife) full time since 1990. Really crudely: chronic stress is basically a state of too much cortisol/corticosterone for too long a time. (this is oversimplifed - other hormones are involved too - but let's leave it at that) Cortisol & corticosterone are two closely related hormones that are released from the adrenal gland to deal with "stressors", meaning, challenges that are threatening the body in some way - anything from a physical challenge like freezing temperatures or starvation, to a perceived social challenge like social stress, uncertainty, etc. (epinephrine's also involved but to a lesser degree, since epinephrine is broken down very rapidly by the liver.)

So here's the thing. DURING A SHORT TERM EMERGENCY, CORT IS GOOD, since it helps your body deal with the stressor. It diverts energy toward keeping blood glucose up and feeding it to your brain and a few other organs; it also increase blood pressure and reduces insulin sensitivity in several tissues. It affects your brain so that you stay alert, memorize whatever's happening, and redirects behavior toward "emergency/escape" behaviors. Finally it shuts down nonessential things you don't need immediately - digestion, reproduction, growth, tissue maintenance - so that you can focus on getting away.

All that is good in the short term. It's in the LONG TERM that high cort starts causing serious problems. Because shutting down "nonessential" activities may be survivable short term, but is extremely detrimental long term (I am valiantly resisting pointing out an obvious political metaphor) Examples:

  • Cort raises blood glucose and decreases insulin sensitivity. Long term effect: thought to increase insulin resistance and potential diabetes risk. There's a really intriguing hypothesis that it's heavily involved in metabolic syndrome, which in turn is thought to lead to high blood pressure and obesity as well as diabetes; the idea is that metabolic syndrome might actually be a mild form of Cushing's syndrome, aka too much cortisol. See here and here.

  • Cort affects the brain, changes alertness and alters behavior. Long term effect: cortisol has a strange and consistent effect in lots of species impairing long-term memory and shrinking the hippocampus. Example, rats and humans. Cool bird example: if you give cort to a kittiwake chick (a kind of gull), it switches to aggressive emergency behavior, but a week later it is having trouble memorizing where food is hidden, and 8 months later is worse than controls in finding its way out of little mazes (ref). There's also a persistent textbook citation that cort causes outright neuron death though imho there hasn't been enough study on that.

  • Cort shuts down the immune system. (this is actually an extremely complicated interaction but I'm not going to go there) You know that "hydrocortisone anti-itch cream" you buy in drugstores? That stuff is pure cortisol, and the reason it works is that cortisol inhibits inflammation, along with every other aspect of the immune system. Long term problems include: reduced white blood cell count (we just confirmed this in a new taxon, sea turtles) and pronounced susceptibility to infectious disease. (tangent: one of the great problems we have when wildlife die after [say] an oil spill is that the animals often die later via infectious disease, really because of high cort, but the lawyers do not recognize that chain of events and will conclude that the animals died of a "different cause" than the oil spill.) There's a persistent, difficult-to-test hypothesis that prolonged high stress is involved in development of cancer, reviewed here, here, here.

  • Cort shuts down reproduction. Long term problems: this varies from subtle ones like reduced sperm count, reduced testosterone in males, reduced estrogen in females, reduced chance of conception (there's persistent, intriguging correlations of stress and human infertility) to dramatic impacts like menstrual cycle completely stopping, or out-and-out miscarriage.

  • Cort shuts down digestion. Long-term problems: you get gradual loss of tissue maintenance throughout the digestive tract, e.g. enzymes aren't produced as much, mucus lining isn't produced as much, small damage sites aren't fixed as rapidly, and ultimately you can end up with conditions like irritable bowel syndrome and even ulcers. (before anyone asks: ulcers were once thought to be entirely caused by stress, then were shown to really be caused by Helicobacter pylori but now it appears that what may be happening is that it's a combination: stress enables a resident population of H. pylori to get out of control.)

  • Cort shuts down growth & tissue maintenance. Long term problems: Most dramatically, "stress-induced dwarfism" in highly stressed children (refugees, abused kids, even if they had lots to eat). We're looking at this right now in young stressed sea turtles. In adults you get slowed wound healing and a generally reduced ability to heal, strengthen or repair any tissue.

    All the above occur in just about every species that's been studied, from mammals, birds, reptiles, amphibians and fishes.

    tl;dr - Prolonged chronic stress has pronounced detrimental effects on almost every aspect of health, in virtually all vertebrates that have been studied.

    cites: My entire Endnote library. I will post some more specific cites if I have time. For a good all-around intro: the best all-around general public book on this remains Sapolsky's "Why Zebras Don't Get Ulcers" - a bit outdated now but has stood the test of time surprisingly well.

    PS forgot to mention that, since you asked about a pregnant woman "and her baby", there some interesting epigenetic effects in which stress during pregnancy programs the fetus's stress-response system so that its behavior and cortisol responses are permanently altered for its entire life. Example: Stress a pregnant sheep for just 2 days and years later her adult offspring exhibit insulin resistance and cardiovascular disease, example here
u/EnginerdAlert · 20 pointsr/pics

Read "The Unthinkable". It's a great book that goes into great detail about humans' reactions in traumatic situations. I found it to be very interesting.

u/yoghurt · 17 pointsr/Meditation

It seems to be sloppy reporting--the 2013 PLOS ONE study cited by the author, did not measure the subjects brains before and after a mindfulness program--it just measured correlation between their amygdala volume and their self-reported mindfulness (they filled out a test/questionnaire to measure this).

That paper, however, cites another 2011 paper which did measure increases in grey matter density in certain brain regions (not amygdala) in 16 subjects before/after they completed an unspecified 8-week MBSR program.

As they refer to it as MBSR in the original abstract (full article is behind a pay wall), I'm assuming it's one of the many programs based on John Kabat-Zinn and others' work. If you are interested in that, then his book Full Catastrophe Living is a good place to start--it's a self-guided version of the program and introduces techniques he uses/teaches.

u/illiterally · 16 pointsr/1200isplentyketo

Since this seems to be an emotional eating issue, your best bet is to practice mindfulness based stress reduction (meditation) when you get those snack urges. Look up meditation videos on youtube. I have had great success with Jon Kabat-Zinn.

Every time you feel that out of control urge to snack, try 5-10 minutes of meditation first. When you feel quiet inside, you can allow yourself small, portion controlled snacks.

You can get a lot of mileage out of roasted seaweed for low carbs and calories. I like Trader Joe's Wasabi flavor, because the spiciness slows me down. An entire package is 60 calories and no net carbs.

You might also try replacing your coffee and soda (which can be agitating) with something calming, like green tea or holy basil (tulsi) tea, which have calming properties.

Additionally, with any snacks you are already eating, make them as spicy as you can handle and garnish with fresh herbs, green onions, vinegars, mustards, etc. This will help slow you down and appreciate your snack, and feel fancier and less deprived about it. Good luck!

u/greentherapy · 15 pointsr/eldertrees

> I often feel like this in these type of group smoking situations and I'm tired of it. its like as soon as I notice I haven't said anything in a while it gets worse. Like I keep thinking of things to say or do, but nothing is ever good enough.

It sounds like you are feeling a little bit of social anxiety when you consume too much THC. If high amounts of THC make you a little anxious, it might be a good idea to not get that high in social situations.

You could also try taking some CBD, which helps treat anxiety, and it can also modulate the effects of THC, to make it less anxiety-inducing.

If you are interested in self-improvement, you could also learn some techniques on how to deal with anxiety by reading a book like When Panic Attacks.

u/colbby · 15 pointsr/GetMotivated

You need CBT (Cognitive behaviour therapy) and maybe look into CBD oil. I highly recommend a book titled D.A.R.E by Barry Mcdonaugh. Helped me so much and its cheap. Book Link if you're interested.

u/fooz42 · 14 pointsr/Entrepreneur

I know this sounds stupid but if you can’t breathe, focus on getting your breathing right. Your feelings follow your body and then your body follows your feelings. If you interrupt the loop you can bring the system back into control.

Healthy body, healthy mind is right. I found the single best thing personally was identifying where my body was suffering and then working on improving each area. Posture, sugar, gut, whatever. Sleep is the hardest but I try to not chastise myself if I am getting nothing done and need to sleep to get my brain back and operating.

Also worrying about worrying is a mistake. It is like walking on a broken leg to fix it. Your meat brain is injured if you’re constantly anxious. You have to let the worrying part rest and recover.

Finally anxiety is what comes from thinking about the future and being afraid. Focusing on the present helps; mindful meditation is a simple way to practice focusing because you can do it anywhere, even standing in line at the store. Also writing down your thoughts in a daily journal or even todo list so you can then organize them puts you back in control of the future so you can let your brain relax that you have all these concerns under control.

u/finsterallen · 14 pointsr/baltimore

I guess you simply don't know and did not bother to look it up. There's actually a tremendous literature on mindfulness techniques and their effectiveness with a broad range of issues folks deal with. I'm struck by your ignorance--like a cult? Focusing on your breathing and really trying to be 'in the moment'
>is cultish?

Read [Full Catastrophe Living] (, the book that really moved the approach originated from psychologists working in hospital settings to reduce stress in cancer patients.

>I seriously doubt you have any basis or proof to show these techniques are "powerful."

[Below one study from British Journal of Psychiatry, published in 2013 that used over 500 kids in 12 schools] (

To assess the acceptability and efficacy of a schools-based universal mindfulness intervention to enhance mental health and well-being.


A total of 522 young people aged 12-16 in 12 secondary schools either participated in the Mindfulness in Schools Programme (intervention) or took part in the usual school curriculum (control).


Rates of acceptability were high. Relative to the controls, and after adjusting for baseline imbalances, children who participated in the intervention reported fewer depressive symptoms post-treatment (P = 0.004) and at follow-up (P = 0.005) and lower stress (P = 0.05) and greater well-being (P = 0.05) at follow-up. The degree to which students in the intervention group practised the mindfulness skills was associated with better well-being (P<0.001) and less stress (P = 0.03) at 3-month follow-up.

>You could probably get better results letting the kids settle their dispute in a boxing ring. Knowing how to defend yourself seems a lot more empowering than being forced to sit still.

...Ah, the internet, where hunches and opinion eclipse data and facts just a click away.

EDIT: added stuff

u/esotericshy · 14 pointsr/JUSTNOMIL

You aren’t stupid. My degrees are in psychology & neuroscience. Let me tell you what your body is doing right now.

All of the stress from your home is causing your body to dump stress hormones (glucocorticoids) into your system. Basically, this system is designed to work for short-term, dangerous situations. Think: Running from a cheetah on the savanna stress, not long-term abuse. In 20 minutes, you’ve either escaped or you’re dead, but either way it’s over.

The glucocorticoids basically divert resources to help you move & be physically ready. As such, a part of your brain, called the hippocampus, is deprived of nutrients. This part of the brain is critical for forming memories. This is why people can have poor recall of very traumatic events.

You are under constant stress, and you can’t get out. And you are trying to study? Of course it’s difficult. Your body is fighting you. The fact is, you won’t know what you can do until you get out of that situation. I predict that you will find that you are smarter and more creative than you think. Survivors generally are, and you are a survivor.

If you want to learn more, check out this fabulous book. And if you ever get to hear him speak, you should do it. He’s amazing, with a great research program & story.

u/duffstoic · 13 pointsr/streamentry

>Does this sound like classic TMI stage 4 purifications? My equanimity is quite good on retreat and I don’t really have panic symptoms in daily life, rather some mild social anxiety.

Quite possibly. Or "existential anxiety" aka fear of (ego) death, which we are normally very good at avoiding in daily life through keeping busy and overstimulated.

>When I investigate chest sensations non-judgmentally they tend to swell and move, they always seem ready to burst upwards but there's little sense it's opening the heart area. Is this just the process of heart chakra opening?

Maybe, I don't know. Chakras are a weird concept IMO. I've definitely had bundles of sensations in many, but not all, of the standard chakra locations, on Goenka retreats mostly. And I don't know what to make of them in terms of meaning-making. Noticing sensations non-judgmentally is always a good idea though. :)

>Should I cultivate piti more to gladden my mind? I tend to get early stage piti moreso on the out breath.

I don't know about cultivating piti, but gladdening the mind never hurts. Definitely increasing your equanimity seems like it could be beneficial. Despite saying your equanimity is "quite good on retreat" you also say that the experience was "traumatizing," but my experience is that things are only "traumatizing" to my nervous system when I have insufficient equanimity. I went through a 2.5 hour dental procedure, awake, with lots of drilling and yanking of my teeth and copious amounts of blood and pain and it was not traumatizing at all because I had really good equanimity during that event, yet I've had minor disagreements with people that I could not shake for weeks or months because my equanimity was so low.

>Should I respect my trauma, or whatever ‘this’ is, and avoid longer retreats for now?

That's up to you. If you feel that is best, trust your own wisdom. Goenka retreats are particularly hard core, and there are also less intense options.

>Does this sound normal for someone with a history of anxiety and trauma?

Sounds like classic symptoms of panic attacks. See When Panic Attacks by Dr. David Burns, really good CBT approach to panic. I'd recommend working with that alongside meditation. Perhaps also practice some gratitude that you don't experience this in daily life too. :)

>Should I find a teacher, or should I find a therapist experienced in the intersection of trauma and vipassana?

Probably a good idea. I'm not a meditation teacher, but I do hypnosis and I have some ideas of things that might be useful. But find someone you resonate with.

>Is this classic dark night territory? Is increased metta meditation enough of an antidote to this? I struggle somewhat with generating metta but have a firm intention to persevere.

Metta is never a bad idea. :) I personally would recommend something like Core Transformation, which is in my opinion a kind of metta that also leads to change of specific issues.

>Is it normal to have such strong energetic phenomena and intense sensations of panic even though my thoughts are quite calm and I’m not spiralling into story/narrative worry?

Very normal...or is it? Dun dun dun, tune in next time to find out! Just kidding, yea the body can do really weird stuff, and there isn't always any content to it.

>It’s tough for me to have much metta or see too many fruits from the practice when I encounter such distracting/strong experiences from my chest area and I’m so aware of my heart.

Again, this is a classic symptom of panic attacks. I'd put it this way: meditating brings up panic attacks for you. You are able to sit through them with a fair degree of equanimity, but they keep happening. There are ways to work with this. You are not broken or weird, ok maybe a little weird but so is everybody interested in hard core meditation haha. I'm certainly pretty weird. And yes, be gentle and kind to yourself and don't push through like a madman necessarily, but also don't avoid meditation entirely out of fear of panic attacks (that's also a symptom of panic attacks, avoiding things that cause them, which makes them worse). Find a middle path.

u/jboyd88 · 13 pointsr/GetStudying

I'll share my reading list for the next 12 months as it's how I plan to become a better learner:



u/SansaScully · 13 pointsr/relationships

I'm 28 now and doing well, but I had serious panic disorder when I was around your age. I have always been an anxious person, especially socially... I mean, even when I was a toddler I was worrying about things and getting anxious in groups. When I was around 16 I started getting panic attacks almost daily, mostly when I was at school. I know exactly what you mean about being too scared to go back to class during/after one - I was always a good student but after the panic attacks started I would ditch school to avoid those situations. I even literally walked out of class and drove home. Panic attacks are serious and they're NOT "normal nerves" when you're having them that frequently.

I think, as others have suggested, the best course of action is to talk to a trusted teacher or counselor at school about what's happening. If you have a doctor that you can see that might be helpful too. Personally, I saw my primary care doctor about the panic attacks and found out I have hypothyroidism, which either caused them initially or made them worse. Also, the doctor, teacher or counselor should be able to get you help or talk to your parents and convince them that what's happening isn't normal.

There are also other resources you can use on your own (although I think a therapist/counselor is the best course of action right now). These were all recommended to me by my therapist: has free online cognitive behavioral therapy tools for panic

Hope and Help for Your Nerves is a book by Claire Weekes that helped me a lot

The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook

If you can't get the books, I have both and can mail them to you for free if you'd like, just PM me. I hope everything gets better for you soon. I know it's REALLY tough to deal with panic and anxiety but it can get better. If you want to talk about it or have any questions you can PM me as well.

u/pumpkin-poodle · 12 pointsr/Paleo

You're not alone. Menstrual problems are extremely common in vegetarians, and so are mental health issues. There's plenty of stories similar to yours over at the WAPF, Let Them Eat Meat, and Beyond Vegetarianism. Personally, I gained a whopping 55lbs, developed B12 deficiency (despite taking 1000mcg of methylcobalamin per day), and ended up with a bunch of other nasty things. I'm proud to say that I've lost all of that weight plus seven pounds. (Who would've known a slice of bambi's mom could be so satisfying?)

So, a lot of people have clearly experienced health problems as a result of a vegn diet. Why does the ADA still insist that a "well-planned vegetarian diet" (a clear oxymoron) is healthy and even beneficial? [Seventh-Day Adventists and vegns have so much influence on the ADA to the point that it's rage-inducing.](

The Vegetarian Myth, The Mood Cure, The Meat Fix, The Ethical Butcher, The Whole Soy Story, and Defending Beef are all worth giving a read. Were you tested for B12, iron, zinc, Vitamin A, Vitamin D, magnesium, and/or iodine deficiency during your vegn years? If you quit recently, it's very likely that you're still deficient in some of these vitamins and will need to supplement for awhile. DHA and EPA are also very important due to how poorly ALA (such as that found in flaxseeds) converts to these essential nutrients.

I was vegan for nearly six years. No cheats. I always had my doubts about it, but getting to learn what other veg
ns look like was my last call. Just keep in mind that some lifelong meat-eaters will insist that a vegetarian diet is healthier. And some people are really mean.

u/velvetfield · 11 pointsr/bangtan

Wow, what timing. I'm definitely not fine right now either. The past few weeks have been exceptionally challenging for me, too. 😅

Actually...I hadn't made this connection before, but I've just been reminded of an anti-depressive/anxious spiral technique I use pretty often called somatic resourcing. Basically, even when we feel our worst, there is usually something present that does feel "fine", or neutral, or safe. Sometimes this can be a physical sensation; sometimes it can be part of your environment.

Some examples: if my stomach is clenched in fear, shifting my attention to a part of my body that feels okay, that isn't experiencing the same tightness or expressing the same emotional reactivity, and focusing on it for a bit. (Usually my legs and feet, or the physical sensation of the weight of my body on any surface.) Or focusing on an object or location in my environment that feels stable. (My desk, light shining on a surface, the sound of the AC.)

The effectiveness of this technique has kind of made me realize that it's...true, I guess? That our minds, which tend to send out pretty intense this-isn't-fine signals, are not to be fully trusted or believed when they are doing so. This is an exceptionally difficult thing to remember when one is in the throes of a bad emotional spell, but it's so so so true.

NGL I find it hard to connect with this quote sometimes but I still love it—“As long as you are breathing, there is more right with you than there is wrong, no matter how ill or how hopeless you may feel.” (x) I hope this can resonate with you even a little bit, OP.

u/shitty_owl_lamp · 10 pointsr/PanicAttack

Without even realizing it, you are using one of the later steps of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) for panic disorder.

I’m going to leave my usual copy/paste below, because I think you might benefit from it. Please forgive me if you’ve already seen me post it in this subreddit.


Every bodily sensation you experience during a panic attack can be explained by the chemicals (mainly adrenaline) that are released during the fight-or-flight response TO KEEP YOU ALIVE BY FIGHTING OR RUNNING FROM A BEAR! For example:

Fast heart beat?

“Adrenaline increases your heart rate in order to get your blood pumping to bring oxygen to your muscles (so you can fight or run away), and will help to maintain blood pressure during blood loss.”

Feeling hot? Sweating?

“Adrenaline triggers the blood vessels to redirect blood toward major muscle groups (such as your quads and biceps), including the heart and lungs, which can make your skin feel hot. You also begin to sweat so you can stay cool if you need to run away.”

Nauseous? Stomach “tied in a knot”?

“Adrenaline decreases the flow of blood to the stomach and intestine, slowing (or stopping) digestion. This results in nausea, abdominal cramping, and even vomiting.”


“Adrenaline binds to receptors on liver cells to break down larger sugar molecules, called glycogen, into a smaller, more readily usable sugar called glucose; this gives your muscles a boost of energy, which causes your entire body to shake.”

Shortness of breath? Hyperventilating?

“Adrenaline causes an increase in respiration. You automatically start breathing from your chest instead of from your diaphragm so that you can take in more oxygen (to fight or flee). But breathing from your chest is harder when you're at rest, so you will feel as if you can’t take a full breath and your chest will feel tight.”

Extremities tingling or going numb?

“Hyperventilating causes the calcium levels to drop in your blood, which can result in tingling and numbness (usually in both arms or around the mouth), spasms or cramps of the hands and feet, and muscle twitching.”

Lightheaded? Experiencing derealization/depersonalization?

“Hyperventilation also causes the carbon dioxide level in the blood to decrease. This lower level of carbon dioxide reduces blood flow to the brain, which may result in the following nervous system and emotional symptoms like weakness, fainting, dizziness, confusion, agitation, a feeling of being outside yourself, and seeing images that aren't there. Many feel a sense of light-headedness and derealization or depersonalization. It’s actually one of the most common complaints of anxiety.”

“During the fight-or-flight response, your brain becomes hyperactive so that you can detect threats quickly. But it's harder to think clearly.”

I could go on and on and on. All you have to do is Google your symptom + [Adrenaline], and you will find a scientific explanation for why you are feeling the way you are feeling during a panic attack.

But your body isn’t trying to hurt you, it’s literally trying to SAVE YOU (from a bear)!

The problem is THERE IS NO BEAR. You aren’t scared of a bear, you are simply scared of the effects of the fight-or-flight response itself. The more you fight against it (“I wish this would STOP!”), the worse it gets. This produces even MORE adrenaline, which makes the bodily sensations even WORSE. An endless cycle.

It’s called The White Bear Effect. Like how you won’t be able to fall asleep if you think “I NEED to fall asleep” - our brains do the opposite of what we tell them to do.

The only way to stop the fight-or-flight response is to allow it to happen. Lean into it. Encourage it. That is the core concept of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) for panic disorder. I consider myself 100% cured thanks to CBT.

Here is how I started out applying the concept: If I noticed my heart beating hard or fast, I would take 5 seconds to try and mentally WILL my heart to beat even faster (which obviously isn’t possible). I would use all of my brain-power and think “okay heart, beat even faster!” Then I would do another 5 second check to see if my heart rate had increased. It almost ALWAYS had decreased. If it hadn’t, I would repeat the steps, but put even MORE gusto behind it.

My other main symptom was feeling like I was overheating. So I would imagine flames coming off my skin and try to mentally WILL the flames to get even BIGGER. I would pretend I could feel the adrenaline coursing through my body. Revel in it. Enjoy it. My body is trying to save me! Allow it! Thank it!

The hard part about CBT is even if you understand what is happening at a biological level, you can’t just tell yourself “Stop! There is no bear!” Because all your mind hears is “Stop? He is scared!! There must be TWO bears!” Instead, if you lean into the panic, and encourage the bodily sensations (like “Fuck yeah adrenaline, here we go! Let’s do this! Let it spread through my body! Get me pumped!”), then your brain is like “Wait, he’s encouraging this? He’s not scared? There must not be a bear after all.”

Eventually, you want to get to a point where you WANT a panic attack to happen, because then you can practice your CBT. Like “Oh, good! Here it is again, let’s see if I can beat my personal best time of squashing this with encouragement.”

It sounds crazy, but once you get to that point of wanting them to happen (or at least not caring if it does, because “I’ve totally got this!”), then you will never have another one again.

Here are some free/cheap resources that expand on this further:

PanicFreeTV YouTube Channel:

DARE: The New Way to End Anxiety and Stop Panic Attacks Book:


So basically, you are using the “E” part of the “DARE” method. You are using the cortisol/adrenaline rush to your benefit to help you focus on the task at hand!

u/Altmnop · 10 pointsr/Meditation

It's amazing how meditation can open up new perspectives like that, especially one's that show how silly life can be sometimes. I've been reading the Mindful Path Through Shyness, since it's applicable to my social anxiety. For you, I think The Mindfulness and Acceptance Workbook for Anxiety (, might be of help. I personally haven't read it, but it'd guess it teaches the same principles of what I'm reading, just less targeted.

u/lifeofthunder · 9 pointsr/IAmA

You might be interested to know that being "aggressive" actually saves lives in disaster situations. From Amada Ripley's book, The Unthinkable:

>In a series of experiments, safety officials ran regular people through mock evacuations from planes. The trials weren't nearly as stressful as real evacuations, of course, but it didn't matter. People, especially women, hesitated for a surprisingly long time before jumping onto the slide. That pause slowed the evacuation for everyone. But there was a way to get people to move faster. If a flight attendant stood at the exit and screamed at people to jump, the pause all but disappeared, the researchers found. In fact, if flight attendants did not aggressively direct the evacuation, they might as well have not been there at all. A study by the Cranfield Aviation Safety Centere found that many people moved just as slowly for polite and calm flight attendants as they did when there were no flight attendants present.

u/Superflybriguy · 9 pointsr/CampingandHiking

Great points!

I would add to your post, that the #1 enabler to surviving is how quickly you recognize and accept the fact that you are, indeed, in a survival situation.

The point in time that you make a conscious decision to acknowledge that your fun weekend is now threatening your life is critical to preventing you from continuing to compound the situation by making more bad decisions.

Experience and awareness are key.

Recommend this's a page turner and one that I read at least once per year:

u/minibuster · 9 pointsr/changemyview

The root comment made me think of a book called The Unthinkable: Who Survives When Disaster Strikes. One of the chapters was about a grandfather in New Orleans who ignored the news telling people to evacuate before Katrina struck, because as long as they could remember, reports about hurricane emergencies were always way overblown. The family pleaded with him to reconsider, but this only made him more stubborn. They ended up evacuating without him because he refused to get into the car. By the time he realized that he was in way over his head, it was too late for anyone to go back and get him. He didn't survive the storm.

Just because someone can point out times in the past that scares have been overblown doesn't mean the current scare isn't real and worth considering. It should be considered in isolation of past events. Otherwise, this would imply that nothing bad could ever happen, as long as nothing bad ever happened before...

As for how to filter the signal from the noise, since someone is always predicting the end of the world somewhere, climate change has scientific consensus, which you can easily confirm via reputable sources.

u/Logo5577 · 9 pointsr/booksuggestions

Sounds like Pure O or Pure Obsessional OCD although the name is a misnomer since sufferers also have compulsions that can take the form of a constant need to ruminate about certain thoughts or themes. This books is good The Mindfulness Workbook for OCD: A Guide to Overcoming Obsessions and Compulsions Using Mindfulness and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (A New Harbinger Self-Help Workbook)

This one isnt specifically about OCD it tends to be general but this girl knows her stuff helped me out a lot. Hope and Help for Your Nerves

u/helloworld14_15 · 9 pointsr/unsw

Have you tried segmenting your life.

Start with your core values

Develop core goals based on above (short term and long term)

then create a weekly ritual list

Stick to the routine (from Wk 1- 13) then in this case perhaps you won't place yourself under a monumental amount of pressure towards the finals.

Source: The Power of Full Engagement (Non-fiction)

EDIT: The reason I suggest this is primarily based on the topic title. The title makes it sound as if you're disassociated with uni or something and perhaps you might want to implement a structure to get back on track with your goals/values.

u/[deleted] · 9 pointsr/AskReddit

A few recommendations for books.
ADD-Friendly Ways to Organize Your Life

You Mean I'm Not Lazy, Stupid or Crazy

What Does Everybody Else Know That I Don't?

It may be you have Adult ADHD. See a psychiatrist to get a medical diagnosis. Good luck

u/kajsfjzkk · 9 pointsr/personalfinance

\> This is not a financial problem, this is a trauma problem.

Perfectly said.

OP, in therapy you can talk about your experiences growing up with financial worries. A good therapist can help you explore how those experiences affected you and help you identify the narratives you tell yourself as a result.

It sounds like the financial hyper-awareness has actually served a very useful purpose for you so far. You did well in school and worked your way into a good career. But there's a saying: "What got you here won't get you there." Now your anxiety around finances is holding you back, and you would be better served by spending less energy worrying about finances while still putting a plan in place to responsibly manage your finances.

A therapist can also help you retrain your thinking. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is one type of therapy which is aimed at retraining negative automatic thoughts. You identify negative thoughts and write them down, then apply techniques from the CBT toolbox to understand why those thoughts are distorted and replace them with more adaptive thoughts that better reflect reality.

The key point is that your brain won't let you simply choose to stop thinking a negative thought, because there's usually a kernel of truth. You need to replace the negative thought with a new thought that also true but is more adaptive.

So for example, when you think:

\> I'm suddenly gonna lose all my money at the blink of an eye

You can write that thought down, then look at a list of cognitive distortions and identify things like "all or nothing thinking" and "jumping to conclusions". From there you can identify potentially useful CBT techniques. Some techniques work better for certain types of cognitive distortions. So you might try techniques like exploring "What's the worst that would happen? How would I need to react if I actually lost all my money?", or you might try keeping count of unwanted thoughts to make yourself better at noticing them as they appear. There are dozens of techniques.

I'll note that studies have actually shown that CBT from a book can be just as effective as CBT with a therapist. I'd recommend finding a therapist if you're able, because they can help in ways that a book can't. But it's worth mentioning for anyone who isn't able to see a therapist, or isn't sure whether their therapist is any good.

You can just open up the book, start reading, and do the exercises. The key is that you can't just skim the book. You have to actually do the work and write down your answers.

Here's a good book on CBT:

Here is a good blog post on how to find a therapist:

Finally, one way to feel more in control is to learn more about managing your finances. I'd recommend reading a good book on personal finance, like this one:

And then I'd recommend writing out an "investing policy statement". Basically it's a written statement describing your financial goals and long term plan of how to attain them. You're effectively writing instructions for your future self. This can help put worrying to rest. For example, you can consult the statement to remind yourself that you planned to save $___/month toward a house and $___/month toward retirement. If you are meeting your goals, you shouldn't feel guilty about spending money on things you enjoy.

Here's a blog post describing an investing policy statement:

u/WardensOfTheNorth · 9 pointsr/altright

Sapolsky's "Why Zebras Don't get Ulcers" goes into why forcing mixed groups is harmful. Want to stress the fuck out of a monkey? Put him with a group that's not his own.

The first time I went to Europe I landed in Amsterdam and in the airport even I felt like I had landed at a family reunion. I was palpably happier. I'm not some cranky fucking racist, it's natural.

u/roseneath_and_park · 8 pointsr/stopdrinking

I get panic attacks when I exercise too. The increase in heart rate is a trigger for the anxiety to overwhelm my mind.

What happens when you have a panic attack?

For me, I have the thought that I'm going to die; I focus on one specific thing that might be wrong, maybe a strange spot on my arm or a non-specific symptom like dizziness, then I convince myself I have cancer or that I'm having a heart attack. I've found the only way to get over panic attacks is straight through. I don't fight the freak out, I let the anxiety wash over me and eventually it goes away (the body only has so much stress hormones to release at one time so it will always dissipate.)

Something that has helped me with anxiety is the book When Panic Attacks by David Burns. It describes Cognitive Behavioral Therapy techniques to handle anxiety/depression. One I found particularly helpful is called the Downward Arrow Technique. When I'm relatively calm, I reflect on the thought driving my panic attacks. It looks like this:

"I'm going to die!"
-Why is that upsetting?
"I'm too young to die."
-Why is that upsetting?
"I haven't accomplished what I want to in life."

and BAM I know what is at the root of my anxiety, so I know where to start working to relieve it.

I applaud you for flushing the benzos. They're evil and I've been prescribed them for eight years. I've been tapering off with a new psychiatrist for three months and I've only cut the dose by a third.

I'm also in my late twenties and pretty miserable. But I want to work for a better life. I'm going back to school so that I can change careers and do something that probably won't make a lot of money, but hopefully will make more content. I say "content" and not "happy," because I don't believe that consistent happiness is an attainable goal, but contentment, that seems like something I could work with.

Oh, and that girl that reacted in disgust when you said you didn't drink, she's an idiot and not worth your time. She did you a favor by not hiding her true self.

u/CoochQuarantine · 8 pointsr/RedPillWives

So you have got an uphill battle in front of you and you want something that is going to fix it right away. That ain't gonna happen.

Firstly, I commend you for realizing that you need to take responsibility for your actions. That is really important. Becoming an easy going person isn't something that just happens over night. You snapping and being critical won't magically go away. However, what you do with that is what you can fix while you are learning coping skills.

If you find that you snap and bitch, apologize. Do not say things like "I wouldn't have snapped if you didnt' do XYZ". Just apologize and own your behavior. FULLY. Once you have apologized, then you can use the STFU method. Walk away. Think about why you need to control, why you snapped, why you were irrational. Think about those things until you have come up with a reason.. NOT AN EXCUSE.. then talk to your SO about them. "I feel X when Y is happening." Statements like that will shift the focus from what he is doing "wrong" to what a particular situation inspires in you.

After a while, you will find that there are patterns to your behavior. They can be as small as you getting tense when guests are around to you freaking out because your SO is always late. Here are some examples from my own life.

I cannot sit in the passenger seat without being filled with fear. This stems from being in car accidents.

I do not appreciate when my SO is late or makes me late. This stems from abandonment issues from my childhood.

Acknowledging where your fears are coming from will allow you to be more vulnerable with your SO. He will understand you better. Once you have that down, you then start to realize that you can let go just a bit more each time. You have to basically train yourself to respond to stimulus differently.

In my examples, I now read while in the passenger seat to distract myself instead of bitching that he is going too fast, or didn't take the right turn. I now allow myself to read some AA literature while I am waiting and do not even look at the clock if I am waiting. I also make sure that any plans I have include a buffer so that being late becomes a non-issue. Basically, I take steps to mitigate my crazy before they come out.

I personally recommend this book called "Dont sweat the small stuff and it's all small stuff" and on more of a relationship note The Surrendered Wife.

Learning to stifle your inner bitch is a long process and not one method is going to work for everyone. Don't beat yourself up about it and just work hard to do better from now on.

Good luck :)

EDIT: Actually, now that I read a little bit more into your post I think you should read the CTFO Method. It seems like you're stressed that trying to change isn't happening over night. So maybe try that too.

u/jnk · 8 pointsr/Anxiety

>there is absolutely NOTHING, and I repeat NOTHING that could have triggered me into this state.

Of course there was something that triggered it. One of the worst mistakes you can make is pretending that the anxiety is a big mystery. It's not. Telling yourself it is will only work to perpetuate the issues.

Research Competence Anxiety.

Research CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy). If you're disciplined you could probably start on your own right away, if not find a therapist who will work with you.

Many people envy the position you're in right now, believe it or not. You reaching out for help this soon was a very smart thing to do. I think a lot of people end up waiting to reach out until after they've gone through a period of time avoiding everything that gives them anxiety and by then the anxiety issues are much more cemented in their brain.

CBT is all about riding straight back into those waves of anxiety and rewiring your brain back to how it was before the debilitating anxiety hit you.

Check out the book DARE by Barry McDonagh. The kindle version is free.

Let me know if there's an issue with getting that book. I'll make sure you get a copy.

edit: spelling

u/jordantabb · 8 pointsr/bjj

Hi, I'm a therapist by day job but don't take this as substitute for the guidance of a professional that actually knows who you are and has assessed your needs effectively. =)

I'm curious how serious and pervasive anxiety is for you. If anxiety prevents you from living daily life, keeping a job, or doing the activities you love, the potential side effects may be worth the improvements to your life. Also, some people experience anxiety all the damn time and others just at certain times - like at jiu-jitsu or especially competition! The fact that you practice jiu-jitsu is a good sign and a strength to remember - despite anxiety, you're out and doing something that most people on the planet are neither courageous nor humble enough to do!

If you haven't worked with a therapist that specifically treats anxiety, I would recommend considering whether learning new ways to try coping would be less intimidating than a psychotropic treatment. Between coaching jiu-jitsu and working as a therapist, I've seen how practicing thinking changes and using mindfulness technique can make anxiety manageable! I personally have some biofeedback techniques that I use to manage competition anxiety during training camp and on competition day.

Again, nothing beats having a treatment team that you trust and feel heard by. If you don't, I recommend looking for a therapist that uses the ACT model for treating anxiety in your area. I can also recommend the self-help book The Mindfulness and Acceptance Workbook for Anxiety ( ) Good luck!

u/eggmonster · 8 pointsr/Louisville

I do not have any recommendations unfortunately, however, these threads do seem to come up about every month. I posted several of the previous threads. Good luck in your recovery. I've battled severe depression that kept me from going outside most days and live a relativity normal life now. Stay strong.

I can recommend a book that helped me tremendously.

At Last a Life

Thread 1

Thread 2

Thread 3

Thread 4

u/magicm0nkey · 8 pointsr/GetMotivated

I found this useful: The Chimp Paradox by Steve Peters.

He's a sports psychologist, but the book is really about dealing with emotional responses like anxiety, fear, etc., and reframing your ideas of commitment, success, and failure so that you feel less anxious and more confident about challenges and performance and dealing with setbacks.

I'm usually quite sceptical about anything that looks like a self-help book because so many of them seem wishy-washy and vague, but I found this book more practical and useful than I expected. For example, he doesn't have much time for a 'positive thinking' approach if it doesn't prepare you for the possibility of a less-than-optimal outcome. He's more interested in rethinking what you consider a negative outcome and giving you techniques to overcome worry and negativity.

(If you're like most students, you'll probably find PDF or ebook versions on the usual sites ;)

u/GitGudDandy · 7 pointsr/motogp

There’s a book that many racers on both 2 wheels and 4 have used to sort their heads out, I’m grabbing a copy for Xmas because I need to sort my head out too.

Bradley Smith used it to great effect, as did Guy Martin, both of whom I identify with quite significantly.

[](The Chimp Paradox)

It identifies your worst qualities as being controlled by your ‘inner chimp’, mines called Kevin, and what you need to do to control them when all they want to do is scream at people from trees and fling shit.

I really hope Bradley can use his developmental skills to improve the Aprilia (if they’ll fucking listen) and that it’ll help the whole team to better results, including Bradley’s wildcards.

u/hammerheadzoid · 7 pointsr/aoe2

I recommend read a book called The Chimp Paradox. In this book the author explains how the mind could be looked at like it is in 3 different parts.

The first part is the Human, which is the person that you want to be. You want to nice, happy and in control just playing Age of Empires in this case.

The second part is the chimp... this part of you represents your more basic needs. Anger, needing respect, seeing things in black and white all come from the chimp inside you.

The third part is the computer. The computer contains pre-programmed almost like "macros". The human in you and the chimp in you first refer to the computer as a frame of reference as to what to do. So for example... if every time I ate an apple and got wildly sick after eating it, it would be programmed into my computer that apples make me sick. If there was a child who had an abusive child hood because her dad beat her might see all father figures in a negative light because of her terrible past in this regard.

I say this because it sounds to me like in the past maybe some kids bullied you or picked on you and maybe you played Age of Empires as a release from them or from whom ever it was you might have had negative associations with.

When you play age of Empires the human in you is going "Age Of Empires... Great fun game. The chimp in you refers to the computer as you do and both of you find that the computer says "Age of Empires equals Fun!". You play the game and you enjoy it. The chimp relaxes as you having fun gives him nothing to do but relax and chill the beans.

But then someone flames you, shouts abuse, just says negative silly stuff. Both your human and your chimp are alerted to this negativity. Here is the thing though, the chimp reads from the computer ALWAYS before you do. This is simply a feature of the chimp. So the chimp sees that the computer says "Flaming, trolling, picking on me equals negative". On seeing this the chimp goes wild. The chimp is offeneded. The chimp is screaming "who are these people thinking that they are better than me", or "they have no right to say that to me". The chimp in you looks at the screen and figured "the best way to stop all this is to stop the game... i want to put my fist through the screen to end the game".

Now of course, you do not put your fist through the screen because your human not kicks in and is rational, and nice. Your human says "no I will not put my fist through the screen as i need the screen for more than just Age of Empires. I need it for email, work and music etc." Your human is rational and writes to Reddit to look for an answer. That is where I come in writing this. I hope you read it, and keep and open mind to it. I do not know you but I know something about you. You are a kind, understanding, loving, smart and amazing person. You dealt with silly fools on the internet thats all. You are wondering why you reacted with the thoughts and feelings you did.

I would advise you to read the book below. I read it and lets just say it helped me too.

You dealt with silly people whilst playing a childhood game that triggered some feelings from your childhood I think.

u/sknick_ · 7 pointsr/Supplements

Some things you can try

From the book The Depression Cure

>6 steps

  • Brain Food - Fish Oil - 1000mg EPA / 500mg DHA

  • Don't Think, Do - Avoid rumination, stay busy

  • Antidepressant Exercise - Get daily exercise

  • Let There Be Light - Exposure to sunlight, supplement with Vitamin D3

  • Get Connected - Connect with others. Do not isolate yourself even if you feel like you want to

  • Habits of Healthy Sleep - Get quality sleep

    From the book The Mood Cure

  • 5-htp or L-Tryptophan can help boost serotonin levels; promotes feelings of well being & improves sleep

  • GABA can help reduce anxiety

  • L-tyrosine can help boost dopamine levels

    You can get more specifics on all of these by reading those books.
u/starbuckles · 7 pointsr/LifeAfterNarcissism

Ooh, this is the post I've been waiting for! I've found bibliotherapy to be very helpful in my healing.

For understanding abuse: Understanding the Borderline Mother

This NPD website

For healing yourself: Will I Ever Be Good Enough?

Adult Children of Abusive Parents

And, what you were really asking for: Full Catastrophe Living

Complex PTSD

You wrote:
>Still, I can't maintain a positive or calm feeling state for more than a few minutes, I feel constant anxiety, I am easily provoked, I get easily upset or angry, and I stay upset for hours or days to come, despite all the work I've put in.

This sounds familiar. What I've learned is that it's hard to build new neural pathways when you're stuck in the old feelings of panic. Re-wiring the brain means practicing being in a state of calmness, and the more time you spend there, the easier it will be to get back. So anything that makes you feel calm, even momentarily, is something you should practice. It's ok if you can only feel it for a short time!

My therapist used to tell me, "Get yourself calm, by ANY MEANS NECESSARY!" I think he was suggesting I get high. ;-) What worked for me was to a little meditation, yoga, and spiritual practice, and a lot of locking myself in my house alone with all the blinds drawn. It was the only way I could feel safe for a long time. I wonder if all the activities you've been doing are, paradoxically, stressing you out more? Maybe giving yourself permission to do less would help?

Hope my super long post is helpful! Good luck, OP.

u/grt5786 · 7 pointsr/InternetIsBeautiful

Hijacking this comment to re-post:

The way you breathe is also incredibly important, not just the timing. Anyone using this site should read up a bit on diaphragmatic breathing , it's such a fundamentally important relaxation technique (especially for working with anxiety/stress) that IIRC it's actually the first chapter of The Relaxation and Stress Reduction Workbook

u/PuffAngel · 7 pointsr/breakingmom

I hear you on so many levels. I HATE cleaning but I like a clean house. I've been doing a purge and repainting for about a year and a half. Slow steady progress because like anything else it's one step forward two steps back. Good on you for finding a list that works for you! I made a weekly schedule a long time ago. It's pinned to my fridge but I don't use it. Daily goals is the way to go. Take it easy tho you're growing a baby and nobody could fault you for doing what you can. And your husband? He's a damn champ!

And yes that negative self-talk is a bitch. My issue is with anxiety and a little depression (about being anxious mostly). This might sound crazy but what works for me is using that bitchy voice to tell my anxiety to fuck off. It's the enemy not you.

Been in counseling about four years now for this and before I even had my first appointment they recommended me this book and about a year later therapist recommended this one. They're both great in that they have those checklists you were talking about. The second one is a bit daunting. It's about as thick as a Stephen King novel but they're not meant to be read cover to cover. I skipped around finding chapters that applied to me. They're both quite helpful if you're looking to do a little "homework" on your own.

And yay for cleaner! Someday I hope to be able to have everything in order and just have someone come in to maintain the clean. One mess at a time :)

u/AndNowIKnowWhy · 7 pointsr/ADHD

Hey dude, all the best. In all seriousness, reading up on the matter (via books and internet resources) changed my life completely and utterly and made a huge difference.

I picked what worked for me and especially untangled the emotional djungles that hover invisibly as the actual reason for procrastinating and cluttering one's life.

If I may suggest: I know it's controversial, but the first ice breaker I happened to encounter was "So you think I'm not lazy, stupid or crazy?" by Kate Kelly and Peggy Ramundo, I began with it and it completely changed my route.

And this article is an absolute must imho: waitbutwhy's "Why Procrastinators Procrastinate".

u/Redaxel · 7 pointsr/ADHD

A lot of people have recommended You Mean I'm Not Lazy, Stupid or Crazy?!, but I haven't read it yet. I still have to finish Delivered from Distraction. In typical ADD fashion, I hyperfocused on it the first night I started reading; mind blown, felt like it would change my life; haven't picked it up since 😆

u/jaxxly · 7 pointsr/ADHD

"You Mean I'm Not Crazy, Lazy, or Stupid?"

This was recommended to me by two different therapists. It is written by two women. I'm female with ADHD so this definitely helped when I was diagnosed.

u/sorokine · 7 pointsr/selfhelp


Congratulations on your decision to get help! You can do it. In you post history, I can see that you struggle with depression.

First, where are you located? Are you in Europe, in the US, somewhere else? In most places, you can find therapists. Are you still in school or studying? Many schools and universities offer free mental health councelling. Check those out! Depending on your situation, you might be able to qualify for government assistance. I am not in the US, but I believe you can check to find out if you qualify and take your next steps from there. If you don't qualify, there is a very cool blog post by a psychologist on how to get mental health care on a budget:

Let me quote from that article:

"This section is on ways to do therapy if you cannot afford a traditional therapist. There may also be other options specific to your area, like training clinics attached to colleges that charge “sliding scale” fees (ie they will charge you less if you can’t afford full price).

1. Bibliotherapy: If you’re doing a specific therapy for a specific problem (as opposed to just trying to vent or organize your thoughts), studies generally find that doing therapy out of a textbook works just as well as doing it with a real therapist. I usually recommend David Burns’ therapy books: Feeling Good for depression and When Panic Attacks for anxiety. If you have anger, emotional breakdowns, or other borderline-adjacent symptoms, consider a DBT skills workbook. For OCD, Brain Lock.

2. Free support groups: Alcoholics Anonymous is neither as great as the proponents say nor as terrible as the detractors say; for a balanced look, see here. There are countless different spinoffs for non-religious people or people with various demographic characteristics or different drugs. But there are also groups for gambling addiction, sex addiction, and food addiction (including eating disorders). There’s a list of anxiety and depression support groups here. Groups for conditions like social anxiety can be especially helpful since going to the group is itself a form of exposure therapy.

3. Therapy startups: These are companies like BetterHelp and TalkSpace which offer remote therapy for something like $50/week. I was previously more bullish on these; more recently, it looks like they have stopped offering free videochat with a subscription. That means you may be limited to texting your therapist about very specific things you are doing that day, which isn’t really therapy. And some awful thinkpiece sites that always hate everything are also skeptical. I am interested in hearing experiences from anyone who has used these sites. Until then, consider them use-at-your-own-risk." (end quote)

There are also sections on prescription medicine and on supplements in that article. Check it out!

If you are in a particularly bad spot or just need somebody to talk, there are lots of phone lines and services where you can call in for free. One example: (US-based).

There are also subreddits like /r/depression where you can get help from people who actually know what they are talking about.


Good luck and hang in there!



u/LarryBills · 7 pointsr/Buddhism

Hi there, sorry to hear you've been struggling with this. I too wrestled with panic & anxiety for many many years. In addition to the specifically Buddhist answers in this thread, I strongly recommend you look into cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) or Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) - very similar. This can be done with a therapist or own your own. Even just doing a little bit and getting down the basics will provide a ton of relief. There's plenty of books out there but here's one I used with great results called The Worry Trap

Change Your Thinking is another very helpful book/workbook.

Also, if you haven't already, you should do the following:

  • eliminate weed, alcohol and caffeine completely
  • limit sugar intake (esp candy, soda, etc)
  • start an exercise plan at least 4 days a week. (running, walking, lifting, swimming, playing ball, etc. It's all good.)
  • meditate daily for a minimum of 30 minutes (concentration, Vipassana or Metta meditation)
  • Greatly reduce over-stimulation (gaming, porn, browsing reddit, etc

    Finally, there is strong research that mindfulness meditation shrinks the amygdala (fear center in your brain) . Do two 30 minute sessions a day and in 6 months see how you’re doing. Since you mentioned you didn't want to do breath meditation, look into body scanning. You can also look up Jon Kabat-Zinn and MBSR (mindfulness-based stress reduction) for more - he’s been leading the meditation charge from the scientific community for 30 years.

    *formatting/fixed a sentence
u/Pirlomaster · 7 pointsr/MMA

Hey, if you dont wanna see a therapist, or atleast not right now, you could message me as someone who has gone through every aspect of anxiety you could imagine over the last few years, and is just now coming out of it and could honestly say its by far and wide the best thing thats ever happened to me. I was so stuck in my head prior to really going thru it starting a few years ago, and man is life getting good now. Ive seen therapists, and read books on it as well and learnt a shit ton about myself and how the human brain works. Feel free to ask about any feelings that you feel, thoughts that worry you and how you started developing these problems in the first place.

To get over your anxiety youve got to understand it first. Some here have already done a good job explaining it, particularly /u/ShavingApples. Anxiety is your built in defense mechanism, you have fear of your defense mechanism, prompting that defense mechanism to be alerted more, leaving you in a never ending cycle of anxiety! Essentially this is all in your head, there is no real danger, it is made up, and therefore theres nothing to be solved!

So what you have to do is completely bypass this vicious cycle, and simply stop reacting to the anxiety/how you feel. However you feel, however much anxiety you have, as scared as you are, dont panic. dont question. just completely accept it, embrace it, have fun with it. Its all in how you react to your anxiety, when you have panic attacks or just feel shitty, thats your body asking you if you should be worried or not, when you give in to the feelings, try to escape the situation your in, start panicking, you confirm to your body that there is a threat. Imagine what would happen if you didn't do that? Imagine you accepted these feelings, and went about your day without even thinking about them for a second? The defense mechanism would stop working! It doesnt need to do anything anymore, as you have confirmed to yourself that there is no more threat! Your anxiety is now gone.

Its really as simple as that. You just have to apply this perspective just one time in a fearful situation like say, driving to your mma gym and working out. If you can get through it without giving in to the anxiety, you'll feel enlightened and empowered, as if youve figured out the secret to life. From that point its just a matter of consistently pushing yourself, meditating and learning about yourself, so that you dont get stuck in your head and keep moving forward (Even if you do get stuck in the future, it will never half as bad as what you're experiencing now, now you live under massive fear, when you take the fear out and realize the result of it, you'll never fully go back to your old ways again).

Another thing you might realize is that when you are completely in the moment, like how you are right now reading this comment, it is impossible to suffer. If you ever find yourself in a scary situation and you just cant accept how you feel, focus on your breath and never stop, take deep breaths through your nose all the way down to your balls, and never stop focusing on your breath. (you could try this now too). The reason you cant feel the anxiety in the moment i.e. suffering, is because fear only exists in the mind, when you are in the moment, you are not thinking, i.e. not using your mind.

Heres some books that really helped me out:

So I suggest going to the gym as soon as you can with these new points of view, and try to push through it! Once youve dropped your overall fear of what youre going through, which again, can literally happen instantly, youve unlocked a whole nother world, previously un-visited due to fear. You'll still have anxiety, but its different, its like you dont care about the anxiety anymore and are so numb to its tricks that it doesnt affect you at all anymore, you dont associate yourself with it anymore, you know who you are now. Ive been in this phase for a couple months now, ive had so many moments that have gone from massive fear and anxiety to pure joy that the anxiety just doesnt bother me anymore. Ive seen what its like when you completely accept it, and live in the moment. The only reason im not totally anxiety free is because i havent been living in the moment recently, because ive been overthinking plans and goals ive set for myself and stressing myself out over them. This is inherently a good thing because I wouldnt have set any of these goals in the first place if I still was in fear, but im just now learning to stop thinking and stressing myself out and just getting things done. Youre essentially on the cusp of being at the same point, you just need to stop worrying about how you feel.

Good luck!

u/moose_tassels · 6 pointsr/TheGirlSurvivalGuide

It does get better! I'm so sorry you're going through this. Internet hugs to you.

There's a really great book called "Will I Ever Be Good Enough?" that's about how to heal and deal with narcissistic mothers. I have one, can confirm it completely, utterly sucks. But hang in there until you can get out of there.

You sound very self aware even through your exhaustion - this is great! Please talk to your therapist about setting boundaries with your mother and friends. It can be very challenging to take on another task when you're already overwhelmed, but it is a very beneficial skill to have in every aspect of life.

If you don't feel that your therapist is helping, perhaps switching to another would be more beneficial, or talking to your doctor about medication.

Find some time to spend some time in low-stakes activities, like a simple walk by yourself, or doing some mindfulness exercises to give your brain a break.

You got this. Don't let the bastards get you down (but it's okay to cry about it). :)

u/married_to_a_reddito · 6 pointsr/fatlogic

You can try finding a workbook on Amazon that is DBT for anxiety. It's really helpful. It deals with teaching you behaviors, and not hyper focusing on emotions. It helped me with my panic disorder. It teaches you crisis skills as well as daily skills to prevent future issues as well.

u/not_yet_named · 6 pointsr/Meditation

That's a common occurrence with anxiety and isn't anything to be afraid of. Do your best to go about your day without letting the thoughts control your actions. You don't want to get into habits of limiting yourself, like staying in for the day because you're self-conscious, since doing that will only reinforce the habitual thoughts about yourself. If you just let the freakout happen and still go about your day you'll send yourself the message that everything's fine, the habits will tend to fade with time, and your thoughts will start to open up more. The idea is to do your best to open up to your experience, even if it feels wrong, rather than let your anxiety close you down by either fighting it or trying to manage your thoughts and feelings.

There are things you can do that you might find helpful, like yoga or prostrations or meditating, but it's important to realize that this isn't something something you're doing to combat your anxiety. Trying to control your experience like this is a reaction to the habitual thoughts, which again only feeds and reinforces them. In other words, you can't fight anxiety and win, because if you look closely you'll see that anxiety is made up of you fighting your experience. If you're engaging in activities like those mentioned the mindset to take is that you're completely giving yourself to them. Put yourself completely into the activity and into your experience, even if it includes a freakout. You're giving up control for the moment and letting whatever happens happen. Because anxiety is made up of you fighting your experience, the way out is to one way or another find a way to surrender bit by bit and allow things to do what they're going to do until they settle on their own.

So: Don't fight the thoughts and feelings, but also don't just give in and let them control your behavior. Go about your day and do your best to surrender to your experience. If that includes feelings of anxiety then that's fine. You'll be alright at the end of the day. If you're interested in reading a take on anxiety that compliments spiritual practice one book I'd recommend is At Last a Life.

u/d_lytful · 6 pointsr/Anxiety

I would highly recommend reading DARE! -- I can't even tell you how much this book has helped me. I have pretty terrible health anxiety, and constantly research diseases and convince myself that the smallest symptoms are going to kill me, even though I too practice yoga, etc.

I think the biggest thing with anxiety, and what this book taught me, is that anxiety is mostly how we react to anxiety, if that makes sense? Basically we are training ourselves to be fearful of these thoughts or minor symptoms, and it's causing this continuing circuit of anxiety. It takes time to heal from anxiety, but you can overcome it. Sometimes it takes month, sometimes it takes years. Remember to forgive yourself, and realize that this is a process of untraining our brains and response system. It sounds like you almost have depersonalization/derealization? Maybe not, but look it up. I have struggled with that in the past, and it's a scary feeling. You feel crazy, like something just isn't right? Don't worry, you can ABSOLUTELY overcome that. Healing doesn't mean it will just vanish after a few weeks of trying. Healing involves falling, it involves more anxiety attacks, and training ourselves with how we react to them.

Here is what I would recommend:

  1. Read that book, for real.
  2. Start meditating practicing mindfulness immediately.
  3. Continue yoga.
  4. Continue eating healthy.
  5. Try a magnesium supplement if you haven't already.
  6. Listen to podcasts - I love Anxiety Guru and The Anxiety Coaches.
  7. Meditate more, practice more mindfulness, IT IS SO IMPORTANT.
  8. Drink lots of water
  9. Work on sleep hygiene
  10. Do something every day that makes you laugh. Fake it. Fake smile. Convince yourself you are having a great time.
  11. Take epsom baths.
  12. Journal. Practice art. Paint, play with clay.

    Everyone is different, but I am a firm believer we can greatly overcome this disease. It honestly just takes time. I think we go a few months or weeks without an attack, and think, "oh great, I have beaten this thing," and then we have an attack and convince ourselves that we actually didn't overcome it, and we never will, and this will continue to keep happening. I have a friend who had severe anxiety for her entire life. She hasn't had an attack in three years, but said it took her a full 5 years to get to that point. It's a process, and as much as we want instant results, we need to be patient and forgiving and not put a date on our "cure."
u/stuckandrunningfrom · 6 pointsr/stopdrinking

Ugh, anxiety is the worst. I had a few years of it and would not wish it on my worst enemy. That constant feeling of dread and like something is chasing you to kill you.

One of the things that helped me tremendously was this workbook:

I say that it saved my life, and it really did. It was a different approach to anxiety - instead of trying to get rid of it (because you can't), the work is done to lean into it, make room for it, see it for what it is - physical sensations, thoughts and behaviors - accept that it is there, and then move your hands and feet towards the life you value, instead of the tiny miserable life that anxiety wants you to have.

When I first starting working through it, I got mad. "My anxiety is justified! I should feel like this all the time because things are terrible! This author doesn't understand and this is all b.s." But I kept at it because things couldn't really get worse.

By the end of it, I had located the author's email address and written him a letter that he had basically saved my life.

Stopping drinking doesn't have to be the first step in recovery. Alcohol is a solution to the anxiety. Taking it away before you have any other coping skills in place is understandably a terrifying thought.

But you can start to build up support systems and other coping mechanisms, and then revisit the drinking later.

You may also want to point your family in the direction of this program:

Good luck! Stick around if you feel like it. I read here for a long time here before I stopped (and was in therapy for longer.)

u/over-my-head · 6 pointsr/selfimprovement

You're welcome. My dad's a G.P. and he got copies of these for every one in my family. They are amazing.

Other good ones to look at are:

u/soutioirsim · 6 pointsr/Velo

The Confidence Gap

The Chimp Paradox


These are some great books, by some fantastic psychiatrists. All these can help with anxiety. The Chimp Paradox book especially is written by Dr Steve Peters, who worked with the British Cycling track team and helped Chris Hoy, Victoria Pendleton, etc become the top in their sport (though his book is not specifically for cycling).

Althought some people will be saying 'don't worry about it' or 'just enjoy it', these are particularly useless statements and (through not fault of their own) generally come from people who have never delt with mental help issues. If it was as easy as 'don't think about it', then you wouldn't have made this thread. These books are based on real scientific evidence and help you deal with the anxiety and not just push it away.

I would say that The Chimp Paradox is best for understanding why you're feeling anxious and the other two books are really good for practising how to deal with the anxiety.

u/HeyGirlYouSingle · 6 pointsr/golf

I too had this problem. To the depth that my vision would be distorted and my ears would ring to a deafening pitch. No matter how many times I competed or sport I competed in it wouldn't go away. It was out of control.

Knowing it was a mental issue out of my scope of understanding I went in a search for a solution. I tried meditation, focus, disassociation tactics, etc... Nothing really worked. Though my research though I ran across Dr. Steve Peters and how he helped Ronnie O'Sullivan. I had nothing to lose so I read his book and followed his principles. Saw almost instant change.

It's been years since I've read it, but the overall message is you need to recognize when your brain is taking over and why. Question what is happening and why then have the confidence in yourself to overcome the portion of your mind that is taking over and get it under control.

The book: [The Chimp Paradox] (

u/renvlovee · 6 pointsr/PanicAttack

panic attacks are particularly shitty because the person has a fear cycle around them

it really takes time and practice to master the whole not fearing a panic attack, which is 1 step and than the other step is handling it properly

they take time and unfortunately practice.

hard to master this entire thing on a short reddit post but ill give as many tips as possible.

belly breathing, you need to practice it outside of the panic attack so oyu know how to do it while having one, 5 mins a few times a day

Distraction,you can use distraction as a tool to prior to the huge attack when its coming on

know your cycle of fear so its like a cycle you get a symptom or a thought, and that thought or symptom triggers your mind to create fear, than you fear the fear and than the symptoms get louder and all of a sudden it spirals into a full blown attack you want to stop the cycle
when you get a symptom or a thought you need to not react to it, move on with your day this takes alot of time to really put into practice

this is probably one of the better books to teachy ou the method of the cycles and how to stop them

once you get more used to handling the panic youll need to allow it to wash over you and give it its worse its not something people recommend doing when theyre just starting to have panic attacks and havent practiced any other methods, because they are really still fearful of the panic throughout the day after it happens etc. its more a tool you start to use towards the end of the journey when you have other methods down first.

deff seek out of a psychologist or cognitive behavioral therapist they really are able to help with this far better than i on rreddit

best of luck to you

u/RagingRaijin · 6 pointsr/aznidentity

I'm one of those all talk, no action users here. Feels bad man

I found this post on why I am that way:

I've done only a couple days so far, but it is very embarrassing and humbling to see where I sink my time away. I respect mental health much more and people who explain the why and how for us to take control of stuff like procrastination that's ruining our lives.

This book is really good for those who don't have enough energy at work -

u/nickmortensen · 6 pointsr/TickTockManitowoc

I taught the only class on ADHD ever offered by UW Madison. You don't sound as hopeless as many of the people that attended my course. You are even still young enough to turn it all around.

Here's where I'd start:

Possibly the dumbest shit ever is creating the definitive book on Adult ADHD and making it only available in print. It's like locking it away from the people that need it the most. As I understand it, they have an audiobook version now and you can get it if you sign up for a free trial of Audible.

Don't wait too long. Nothing more sad to me than when I would tell 75 year old men that I never met their entire life story. It's a Hell of a parlor trick, to be sure, but it does kill that whole "At least I am unique... I tell it like it is...People either love me or hate me..." thing we all try and hang our hats on when trying to explain why we are the way we are to ourselves.

u/thinkingahead · 6 pointsr/AskReddit

Nauseous from anxiety? I've totally been there.

When I first started having panic attacks (after smoking too much pot) I was unsettled by the panic attacks themselves, but once I learned that what I was going through was not all that unusual I was able to move past the actual panic attacks themselves.

But I had exactly the same issue you are describing, even when I was completely calm, I would feel nauseated and shitty. The one thing I can tell you for sure is that it will pass with time. I really can't say how long, because anxiety is a completely subjective experience, but I can assure you 100% that the nausea will pass over time. Any other side effects from anxiety will pass as well.

Some great literature on how to deal with panic attacks is Panic Away! and The Linden Method e-books (they can both be found on various torrent sites) and When Panic Attacks

Good luck, I am confident you will get through all this and be stronger for it.

u/watch7maker · 6 pointsr/NoStupidQuestions

There's a book about this called something zebras something ulcers. steps away to Google it... Why Zebras Don't Get Ulcers and it talks about how most animals can just be while humans just get too fucking preoccupied about shit that isn't even gonna affect them. Like for example, I'm stressed the fuck out watching all these people try to put their lives back together after these hurricanes, but I live in California. Zebras don't give a shit if their mom gets eaten by a lion, they just run like a bitch, and if there's no lion, they're like "fuck life is good bruh isn't this fucking grass amazing" even though it's the same fucking grass they always eat.

Side note: 10 points for me for being one of those twats that references books in their post that neither you nor I will ever read.

u/farrbahren · 5 pointsr/raisedbyborderlines

This was my first holiday home after discovering and coming to grips with the fact that I was raised by a uBPD mother. It was difficult for me too, but I feel like being armed with that information opened the door for growth. I'm also finding (as a 30 year old man) that it is painful to start processing all of this now, but I think in the long run it will be worth it. Even just reading Surviving a Borderline Parent is stressful and makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up.

You're not alone, and I'd even venture to say that your reaction is pretty normal. It's going to be important to establish some healthy outlets to deal with the anxiety you're feeling. I suggest:

  1. Try to get some regular exercise,
  2. Give yourself something to do other than eat and drink,
  3. Try to limit yourself to 3 drinks,
  4. Bad sleep due to anxiety can be a vicious cycle, so maybe consider Melatonin,
  5. Consider reading either Feeling Good or When Panic Attacks (both by David D. Burns)

    I can't recommend those two books highly enough. The former is better if you're feeling more depressed, the latter if you're feeling more anxious. Both are basically Cognitive Behavior Therapy for dummies.
u/jchiu003 · 5 pointsr/OkCupid

Hmmm. Not sure if you're a troll or not. If you genuinely need help, then I agree with /u/x7BZCsP9qFvqiw and you should definitely see a therapist. I'm sorry about your situation, but your happiness is controlled by your own brain. The only person that can fix your problems if yourself. I really like the book Don't Sweat the Small Stuff...and It's All Small Stuff and I got lucky that I read it at a young age. The book really helped me build my foundation to live a low stress and low anxiety life. Best of luck OP!

u/wasabicupcakes · 5 pointsr/jobs

Read it:,204,203,200_QL40_&dpSrc=srch

> The interviewing process is always the hardest for me. Any advice I would appreciate, please. Thank you.

There is nothing natural about being interviewed. It took me awhile to feel comfortable doing it. My first few interviews were dismal. I use to practice being interviewed by family members. It really did help.

u/AncientDragons · 5 pointsr/PanicAttack

I was pretty much housebound and work-bound when I had panic disorder. I couldn't work out, couldn't go places, and couldn't really do much of anything without anxiety. I had a really good therapist that helped me work my way out of all of the anxiety.

I really find this book to captured a lot of what helped me:

I'm not in any way affiliated with the author, by the way, but the method was really helpful for me to deal with any relapses I've had with panic attacks.

Most panic disorder on its own is caused by your beliefs and behaviors and is not a medical or neurological issue. If you can address your thinking and your behaviors, you can begin to minimize the panic.

Also you may want to look in to the books by Claire Weekes on anxiety or "nervous illness" as it was called back in the day. Her principles are sound and she really breaks down the anxiety experience, and its causes and effects, as well as a way to get through it by "floating" and accepting the anxiety without adding additional fear to it.

Best of luck to you, OP. All of these methods work with medication, as well.

u/jirigoyen · 5 pointsr/Anxiety

Read this book. It helped me to see things in a different perspective:
Dare: The New Way to End Anxiety and Stop Panic Attacks

u/gemainchains · 5 pointsr/Anxiety

I had only been dealing with anxiety for a very short time, 3 months of non stop panic attacks/depersonalization/nervousness. I honestly was going crazy and afraid of living like this for the rest of my life. I started seeing a therapist, which helped, but not enough. I was afraid of going on medication, so I refused to be prescribed anything. One day while on Amazon, I began browsing through self-help books and stumbled upon Dare: The New Way to End Anxiety and Panic Attacks, and I began to read. I read the book in 2 days and holy crap I felt like a weight was lifted off of me. I've seen this book get recommended in here a few times. If I could give you all free copies I would. It helped me tremendously and got my life back. I have been doing fine for the past 2 months, I'm not going to tell you that I don't get anxious anymore. I still do every so often, BUT I have learned how to diffuse it. I highly recommend it to everybody. I hope that every one of you will be able to find peace, whether it be through this book or in another way because I know it's hell.

u/flwrchild1013 · 5 pointsr/CPTSD

I recently started seeing a trauma specialist for help with the panic attacks and lingering anxiety symptoms. She taught me "mindful drinking" (which I know sounds hilarious). Take a sip of cold water. Notice the temperature. Hold it on top of your tongue for 5 seconds, then move under your tongue for 5 seconds. Notice how it feels in your mouth. Swallow. See if you notice anything different about the taste/temperature. Take another sip of water. This time hold for 5 seconds in one cheek, and 5 seconds in the other cheek. See if you notice anything different about the taste/temperature. This exercise brings my heart-rate down significantly. The therapist told me that your saliva actually adds alkalinity to the water, which decreases your body's stress response. Plus it gives you something physical to focus on.

Also, I know I usually start to worry about the symptoms of the flashbacks and that's what turns everything into an anxiety attack. Reassure yourself that you're just having an emotional flashback, that you've had them before, and you'll be okay. To be totally honest, I hug myself and rock myself gently. I think Pete Walker would see this as soothing my inner child. I have found his book very helpful, and also Dare by Barry McDonagh. His book claims to end anxiety and panic attacks. I haven't found that to be the case, but I have found some very helpful tips and techniques for dealing with them.

u/borderlinesweet · 5 pointsr/AskAcademia

One of the tricky things about personality disorders is how hard they are to actually diagnose, it took about 4 months of me acting out before they’d diagnose me. There’s also c-ptsd which can also cause people to have a favorite person. I’m not a professional though, so it could honestly just be ocd and gad.

Here’s the links though

Dbt book i used:

For anxiety:

u/lonelyinacrowd · 5 pointsr/unitedkingdom

The thing that's holding you back isn't the job market or being over qualified - it's your lack of direction, passion, interest and determination to go out there and stamp your mark on the world.

If there's something you want to do, just go and do it. Read 'The Chimp Paradox' - Amazon link - to sort your head out and get cracking.

u/BigFriendlyDragon · 5 pointsr/fatlogic

That's the silver lining, you can develop this control at any time, it's just very unlikely to happen spontaneously. But it already did for whatever reason, which is why you're here. Your prefrontal cortex is literally getting stronger, sending out stronger neural signals and developing neurons and connections to the rest of your brain. I found that this book, [The Chimp Paradox] ( framed all of this in a wonderfully well constructed and elegant model that could really help you with unwanted emotions and urges.

You gon b ok :).

u/festivalgoer · 5 pointsr/explainlikeimfive

The Chimp Paradox By Prof. Steve Peters explains this nicely. I've had the pleasure of working with him a few times, and he explains the animal-primitive tendencies that we still have in our brain today. It's truly a great read... recommended.

u/erinaceus-europaeus · 5 pointsr/worldnews

I read this book recently called The Unthinkable which is all about how people react to disaster (plane crashes, tsunamis, terrorist attacks etc etc) - how and why some people freeze, some panic, some remain clear-headed. Obviously reading first-hand accounts of plane crashes might be the worst possible thing for you, but personally I found it kind of reassuring to learn exactly what the ideal response is should the worst happen. I feel more prepared knowing that I've thought about what I'd do in various worst-case-scenarios, and that people who have thought out a plan in advance are more likely to react quickly and get out okay. Might be worth a look if you think that kind of thing might help.

u/truckstruck · 5 pointsr/Survival

I thought this book was very interesting. It cites specific examples from a variety of disasters, and had a very sociological feel.

The Unthinkable: Who Survives When Disaster Strikes - And Why

u/august4th2026 · 5 pointsr/ChronicPain

I recommend this It changed my life and taught me that my pain will not define me. I hope it can help you come to terms with your pain.

u/-Borfo- · 5 pointsr/Documentaries

Rather than engaging you on that, since you could just watch the thing with an open mind and answer that question yourself, I'll give you a piece of advice on dealing with depression: Read "Full Catastrophe Living" by Jon Kabat Zinn.


u/taterbase · 5 pointsr/TwoXChromosomes

When I was going through intense anxiety (around the exact same age fwiw) the physical symptoms were what made it most difficult. It's hard enough being afraid to express yourself. Shaking, shortness of breath, sweating just add to it. One of the best books I've ever read Hope and Help for Your Nerves helped significantly with that. It gave me a foundation to stand on while I worked on the other aspects.

Someone mentioned CBT in this thread, that was also huge for me. Treating the rise in "fear" or worry as a good thing rather than a bad thing really flipped it on its head. When I get anxious now I think of it as a good sign. I'm about to do something that I really want to, that will really help me grow.

I hope these things can be helpful. I'm still anxious but it's more manageable and I'm much happier these days. If you ever need someone to talk to feel free to pm or whatever.

u/JayJay729 · 5 pointsr/Anxiety

First things first, if you do not have access to therepy or a psychiatrist, try doing some lifestyle changes. Try exercising more, eating better, sleeping more, take fish oil, vitamin d, and vitamin b12. When you have an anxious thought, write it down. Something is triggering your anxiety. You have to find out what it is. Also, there are some fantastic books out there.

This is one of my faves.

By the way, Xanax is not the answer. Short-term, perhaps, but that stuff is the devil. It has a super short half life and you can develop a tolerance quick. Also, withdrawal can be terrible if your not doing anything to eliminate your anxiety. If you get xanax from your friends and they can't offer you a steady stream, I think it will do more harm than good.

Hope this helps.

u/theoneirologist · 5 pointsr/Anxiety

I'm going to offer my best advice to you.

I've had an anxiety disorder since 2012. For the longest time I had no idea what happened to me. I was transported into a different state of mind. I was blank, detached from myself, didn't feel human, and every little thing set me off. I STILL go through this bullshit every day. But I haven't given up. Why? Because there is a path to recovery, and a path to getting on with your life.

I'm not trying to advertise anything, or try to sell you something. I'm offering a tool that can save your life.
This book put anxiety in an entirely different perspective for me. I know I sound informercialy but I promise this book will totally reshape your perspective on anxiety and offer a CURE. It was written by a psychologist who suffered from an anxiety disorder herself.

You're not mentally ill. You're not crazy. And I'm gonna be honest, ditch the pills. Anxiety is a behavioral response to a perceived threat. Every single human has anxiety. However, every single human doesn't have an anxiety disorder like you and I. Their brains aren't in a frenzy over the most minute details. They don't have brain fog, churning stomachs, hot flashes, depersonalization. Basically, it doesn't disrupt their daily lives. If you really want to stare this barking dog in the face, you need to 100% LET THE ANXIETY IN. See, what you're doing is telling your body to fear being scared. Anxiety has access to your sensory organs. It watches your every move. Picks up scents, sights, feelings, and sounds. See, problem is, I'm willing to bet you're in a state you hate. You hate being on edge, being sleepless, in the throes of constant swirling thoughts that never end. Redditor, listen to me. You need to ALLOW THESE THINGS TO HAPPEN. You need to let anxiety do it's worst. You need to let it kick the door in and destroy your house. You need not try to solve it's grand puzzle. This is a puzzle not worth solving. By obsessing over it, you're telling your body to assign a fear to the state you're in, thereby perpetuating the anxious sensations, and you then are stuck in a cyclic tour around a anxious cul de sac.

ACCEPTANCE, LETTING TIME PASS, AND UNDERSTANDING are the tools necessary to lower your anxiety levels. Your nerves are red hot, willing to fire at the slightest stimulation. If I were to tell you that throwing a football with a broken bone never heals it, would you be surprised? Apply that same logic to worrying about anxiety. Your body is never going to heal if you keep stimulating it's anxiety response with MORE anxiety. By allowing the symptoms to happen and not reacting to them, you're showing your subconscious mind that you no longer fear your uneasy state. SLOWLY it will return back to it's baseline level anxiety. You're being bluffed, it's a giant ruse. I've felt sheer panic and complete loss of my personality, and then I've had moments of calm. Don't get yourself down when you have a setback either. You need to let your body naturally return to it's tranquil state. Accept you can't sleep, accept you feel weird, and laugh at your anxiety. Don't let it dupe you into this dark corner. Let it in and you will win.

I hope this helped OP.

u/SKRedPill · 5 pointsr/TheRedPill

I'd recommend this book as recommended reading :

It ought to be said, muscles are broken down at the gym, they're built during the recovery phase. Good sleep, sunlight and room temperature water are vital for increasing T levels.

A life of productivity is another excellent blog resource for handling your time and energy.

There is a relaxing meditation where you lie down and focus on every part and organ of your body and feel it relaxing. It will put you to sleep in mere minutes at first.

If you want to learn to process past pain and emotions, Eckhart Tolle or Adyashanti is what I'd recommend. Stuff like this is what keeps a man grounded when all hell breaks loose around.

u/TheGraycat · 4 pointsr/sysadmin

Have a read of The Chimp Paradox by Prof Steve Peters. It deals directly with that instant rage response and explains why it happens along with some tactics to deal with it.

u/PissStick · 4 pointsr/spinalcordinjuries

Some practical points now some for the future:

Avoid indulging the temptation of the "I will never list"
Make a new bucket list

Change your self talk: " you can do it, you can do it, you can do it"

Mantras work: "every day in every way, I'm getting better and better" (Google Emile Coue)

Conscious Gratitude: before you go to sleep each night, run through your mind and try and think of 3 things (literally anything big or small) that you are grateful for right now. (Seriously try this)

Do things that make you happy

Chase down friends and family experiences proactively

Get outside and exercise in any small way.
Best thing I invested in was an electric bike
Swimming pool is a must

Write a journal: Learn Dragon dictate for the PC
Invest in a decent touch screen phone, tablet/laptop, Bluetooth headset

Get some therapy asap

Listen to your body. Don't try to do things it can't.

Listen to your physio they are magicians

Understand the drugs (nerve pain) are essential early on but you are going to want to keep an eye on them and try to get off them some day (took me 4 yrs, still on bladder pills)

Get serious about your diet. Bladder and bowels are the hardest thing to contend with. Fresh fuit n veg.

If possible get or maintain your career

One last thing: read this book The Chimp Paradox
The Chimp Paradox: The Mind Management Programme to Help You Achieve Success, Confidence and Happiness

This is a very personal list. As practical as it may be for me. 90% of what's going to help you understand what works for you will be hard earned through your own experiences.
You can do it! 🤓

u/mittenthemagnificent · 4 pointsr/todayilearned

I just read this, and I don't think it has much to do with danger being there in our lives or not. It's preprogrammed into our genetic code (at least for most of us) to go through several stages in a disaster. The author calls them "denial, deliberation and decision." Denial can last for a very long time, as can deliberation (which is mostly marked by people freezing until their brains process what is happening). Some people essentially skip those steps and go straight to acting. It's based on something in who we are, and varies from situation to situation.

She has a story in there about a woman who was in the Twin Towers for the 1993 bombing, and who STILL froze during 9/11, despite having been through an evacuation before. So it isn't about having danger or not having danger around. It's about our personalities. There are things one can do to be better prepared in an emergency, of course, but in the end, biology mostly determines how we react.

It's a great read.

u/Kemah · 4 pointsr/AskWomen

Been loving the responses so far! My own preferences have been changing, and I've been reading a lot more non-fiction than I used to. It has really opened the doors to a lot of books I would not have considered reading before!

On my reading list:

The Unthinkable by Amanda Ripley - this is what I'm almost finished with now. It has been a really insightful read on how little prepared society is for disasters, and the steps we should take to help fix that.

The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker - I've seen this mentioned on reddit a few times and it's in the same vein as the book I'm currently reading.

Full Dark, No Stars by Stephen King

The Boy Who Was Raised as a Dog by Bruce D. Perry

The Lean Startup by Eric Ries - I'm currently working in the startup industry, and have read similar books to this.

The Hard Thing About Hard Things by Ben Horowitz - same as the book above. This is currently going around my office right now so I should be reading it soon!

The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk M.D. - this was recommended to me by a friend when he learned I was reading The Unthinkable and The Gift of Fear. Honestly really looking forward to reading this one!

On Killing: The Psychological Cost of Learning to Kill in War and Society

Books I'd recommend:

Blink by Malcom Gladwell - all about the subconscious mind and the clues we pick up without realizing it. Pretty sure reading this book has helped me out in weird situations.

Elon Musk: Tesla, SpaceX, and the Quest for a Fantastic Future by Ashlee Vance - amazing read about how Elon Musk works and the person he is.

The Circle by Dave Eggers - just don't watch the movie :)

u/GetOffMyLawn_ · 4 pointsr/Fibromyalgia

First thing is I would get the depression under control. If the Cymbalta isn't working there are other antidepressant medications that may help the fibro as well. In addition you might find that adding another medication to the AD helps, for example Abilify or Wellbutrin (which is another antidepressant). The antidepressants should also help with the pain a bit. The big problem with ADs is that not everyone responds to them, and, people's responses to ADs in very individual. One that works for me might not work for you, and vice versa. And some just work better for you than others. Unfortunately it can take a bit of experimentation to figure it out. The right AD and/or Wellbutrin might make you more interested in life. You might want to see a psychiatrist because they are more familiar with these drugs and their effects than say a GP.

Either gabapentin or pregabalin can help with pain. A lot of people here have invested in heating pads, electric blankets, warm socks, hats, gloves, etc... to stay warm and less achy.

Back to depression: in addition to meds try looking into Cognitive Behavior Therapy. There are books on the subject plus you can see a therapist. Therapy should take 6 months or so. You learn the technique and then work it on your own. Exercise is good for depression and fibro pain. It takes a while to kick in and you don't want to overdo because you can make your fibro worse. Search for exercise routines for fibro patients. You won't feel better immediately but over time things will improve. You may also want to look into stress reduction techniques for the anxiety. Full Catastrophe Living is a great book for learning meditation and guided relaxation techniques to help the anxiety. The AD should also help the anxiety. I no longer take antidepressants, I have found a big dose of vitamin D every day eliminates my depression. Have you had your vitamin D level tested?

Make sure you get enough sleep at night. Getting a full night's sleep makes a huge difference in energy and pain levels.

I do advocate accepting your illness. Too much emotional energy gets wasted trying to fight it. You don't fight it, you make peace with it and get on with life. That doesn't mean giving up. Yes it sucks that things have changed and won't be going back to the way they were, but you can't change that, but you can change your attitude about it.

As for your marriage, have you thought about couples counseling?

u/HaileSelassieII · 4 pointsr/DJs

I just picked up this book and think you might benefit from it

"Don't try to change your feelings, change your thoughts and your feelings will follow"

u/subdefective · 4 pointsr/Anxiety

One book that I really recommend is Hope and Help for Your Nerves. It was an absolute lifesaver (literally) for my SO and has helped me with my personal anxiety immensely. At under $6, it will pay for itself 1000 times over. If you search the author, Claire Weekes on /r/Anxiety you'll find it has a pretty amazing track record! Definitely worth checking out, it's not dense at all and each chapter is self contained so you can refer back and read about/focus on a specific feeling or symptom in the moment as a tool to help calm down and take control. I can't recommend it enough!

u/johnnyslick · 4 pointsr/ADHD

I super duper recommend this book:

It's got an audiobook version if you can't be arsed to read (and I don't mean that as a slam! I've "read" soooo many books on tape the past several years in part because I need the distraction of riding a bike or walking a long ways in order to be able to concentrate on something like this without my mind travelling in 570523 different directions).

u/SilverWings002 · 4 pointsr/adhdwomen

I might look that book up. I myself loved ‘You Mean I’m Not Stupid Lazy or Crazy?’

Not ready for workbooks though. I could not follow through. But I could make therapy appts.

u/OrbitRock · 4 pointsr/TrueOffMyChest

You should look into learning CBT to counteract the negative thoughts and perceptions that arise in you.

There is a really good book on CBT for anxiety here. CBT is among the gold standard of treating this sort of thing, and self treatment is possible.

u/remembertosmilebot · 4 pointsr/Buddhism

Did you know Amazon will donate a portion of every purchase if you shop by going to instead? Over $50,000,000 has been raised for charity - all you need to do is change the URL!

Here are your smile-ified links:

Feeling Good: A New Mood Therapy

Change Your Thinking


^^i'm ^^a ^^friendly bot

u/triludactic · 4 pointsr/ibs

Here's a few I found handy.

Good Gut Healing by Kathryn Marsden.

Listen to your gut by Jini Patel Thompson (can also be found at her site as a downloadable pdf, well that's how I bought it.)

And for general anxiety : Change your thinking by Sarah Edelman

And Wheat Belly by William Davis (maybe not as relevant but examines the effect of the genetic changes to wheat, which can be a common trigger for some gastrointestinal issue sufferers.)

Hope any of these may be of help.

u/LimbicLogic · 4 pointsr/JordanPeterson

Most fundamentally you want to be sure there aren't any schemas that are causing a lot of this tendency to experience negative emotions. Schemas are enduring negative patterns that determine how we see the world (they're basically what you could also call "core beliefs"), and are usually formed in childhood, often (but far from always) at the hands of parents. The psychologist Jeffrey Young created Schema Therapy, and pointed out 18 different schemas, which can be found here: (note: ignore the first few pages which talk about personality disorders). If you find any of the 18 that really hit home, then I'd highly recommend the best "self-help" book I've read as a therapist, Reinventing Your Life by Young and Klosko, which delineates eleven of the eighteen schemas, including a presentation of how your life might be like (including interpersonally), how schemas form, and how they can be changed.

Schemas are ultimately deep belief filters that get activated by relevant stimuli (e.g., a person experiences intense anger because of underlying hurt -- anger almost always being secondary to a softer primary emotion -- at a person's neutral statement which was interpreted to mean this person was incompetent or a failure, which stands for the failure schema). In psychology cognitions are the roots of emotion, so to attempt to change emotions you have to look at cognitions.

You also have to look at physiological and behavioral ways of managing your emotions, like deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, mindfulness meditation (technically a cognitive approach, and one that needs 10-20 minutes of sitting and if needed walking practice in order for it to generalize to everyday life situations), exercising, leaving the room (when angry), asserting oneself (particularly one's needs if one has a difficulty doing this, which can lead to resentment, anger, isolation, etc.), and being more socially involved with others.

Another overall excellent workbook that covers a myriad of emotions and cognitive ways at changing them is Thoughts and Feelings by McKay, Davis, and Fanning (two of whom are PhD psychologists).

For another great book more focused on the relaxation response (which will overlap at least a bit with the book just mentioned), check out The Relaxation and Stress Reduction Workbook.

Does that seem like a lot of work? It really isn't. Even if you identify with a few schema and get the Young/Klosko book, that book and the other two aren't meant to be read cover to cover, and you can easily get by with reading half of each book at most to get the best parts that might be most applicable to your emotional needs.

Clinical/mental health counselor, MA, LPC here. This shit works.

u/Threxx · 4 pointsr/science

Mindfulness doesn't just help with reducing anxiety - it actually helps with experiencing life more fully! That sounds corny, but you know all those moments that seem so dull that you just end up day dreaming or problem solving in your mind while you perform tasks x, y, and z on 'auto pilot'? Mindfulness will help you find enjoyment in even those moments, and feel more real and connected in the moments that are actually exciting, too.

I have had issues with anxiety for years and just in the last couple years have been practicing meditation... specifically mindfulness.
I've found this particular workbook to be especially helpful in learning the 'skill' of mindfulness over the course of a few weeks:

Also if you're looking for something more immediate and 'more free' to summarize mindfulness, this is an excellent introductory PDF:

u/Mr_Conductor_USA · 4 pointsr/AbuseInterrupted

That just sounds awful. There's been some research into the use of meditation, if you do it daily, it slowly restructures the brain.

Here's an example of a workbook. It's called awareness meditation. There are also group classes in it:

Some other forms of therapy can help as well. For example there is EMDR. There are actually some books out about that now to DIY. And there are some other things you can try, if your corrent therapist isn't up on it there are others who are.

u/Michelle_Elhardt · 4 pointsr/AskWomen

Once I got into college I enrolled in this yoga class ( stick with me here) and the practice was very healing and nurturing for me. I'm not talking about the poses but the ideology of yoga itself. I learned a lot about myself, my needs, the boundaries I require to promote mental health and my negative repetitive life patterns mostly stemming from traumatic events as a child and teenager and how to correct these issues. The book we used in this class was what helped me the most.

Here's a link :

But also therapy is great too. This is just a good book to get you started in the right direction (also cost effective lol).

u/nate6259 · 3 pointsr/Meditation

I love that, thanks. One of my favorite lines I tell myself when I have anxiety is: "You don't have to fight it."

I learned that from the book, At Last a Life

u/BigSphinx · 3 pointsr/dryalcoholics

You might not have a lot of money right now but I highly recommend this book -- it's got a ton of useful information and exercises to identify and alleviate stress and anxiety. CBT and DBT practices are common in many inpatient and outpatient recovery because self-medicating for anxiety is one of the biggest reasons alcoholics and addicts cite.

For myself, taking walks and listening to podcasts help distract me from obsessing over my anxiety and fears. I also try and keep regular breaths -- I find a lot of the time, when I'm anxious, I'm actually holding my breath without thinking.

u/apeacefulworld · 3 pointsr/suggestmeabook

Feeling Good and Don't Panic are both well regarded books that focus on cognitive behavioral therapy.

The author of Feeling Good also made a workbook to help people process their reactions and feelings.

My husband has chronic depression, and highly recommends both.

u/ashleykr · 3 pointsr/Anxiety
u/Olentxero · 3 pointsr/Stoicism

This is an easy one!
You need to go speak to your boss. You need to leave all thoughts of self-justification behind. You can only speak to your actions and your feelings about them. You do not expect anything from your boss - abandon all feelings that he should also want to apologise. Your conversation should go something like this:

Boss, I want to speak to you about the other day. You were joking around and I got mad. I upset you and I want you to know that this was not my intention. I have been suffering because of this. I know that you care about me; I know that you have been a unique help to me. I feel really bad that I offended you and I really wanted you to know this

The exemplary Chimp Paradox points out the obvious fact that if we want to build bridges, we need to be prepare to build the bridge ourselves. Expecting the other party to join in may well be a reasonable expectation, but is also likely to lead to disappointment. In fact, one of the surest ways to happiness is to free ourselves of any expectations we might have of other people.

If you need the joking around to be a thing of the past, then be assertive. The common model for assertiveness has three parts:

  1. Point to an instance that you didn't like;
  2. Say how that made you feel;
  3. Tell the other person what you want to happen.

    eg When you made that comment about X, it made me feel embarrassed and belittled. I want to be able to work in a place where people don't talk about X.

    If you get want you want, job's a good un. If not, you need to go somewhere where you are more likely to be happy.
u/smcicr · 3 pointsr/DestinyTheGame

My 2p:

  • A new anything will always be harder initially - you have to learn new stuff and build new routines. No autopilot to start with.
  • If you're sure that you are asking clearly for direction and it's not forthcoming then you may just have to accept that you aren't going to get any and will need to look elsewhere for it / advice. Can you go to colleagues - is there a support system you can create there or already in place that you can join?
  • Do you know what it is that's causing you the stress - ie: have you had a chance to sit down and work out the specific things that are the triggers? It's much easier to address and make plans when you know that. (Also - I found The Chimp Paradox by Steve Peters really helpful in terms of understanding myself and managing stress amongst other things - recommended -
  • It's great that Destiny can be a distraction and a positive but if there are elements of it that don't help then for the time being - don't play them or find a way to remove the stress from them - again this comes back to knowing exactly what it is about crucible causes the stress. If it's something you can address then great - if it's not, leave it until your head is a little less full of the new work demands and keep using the bits of Destiny that help.

    I hope the racing is good for you ;)

    Hang in there ref the new job - it will absolutely get better and easier as time goes by.
u/tanissturm · 3 pointsr/northernireland

The Chimp Paradox: The Mind Management Programme to Help You Achieve Success, Confidence and Happiness

u/lennarn · 3 pointsr/worldnews

I think much of the psychological terror aspect of an airplane bombing or hijacking comes from how easily you can imagine the sense of being trapped inside, helplessly knowing your death is close. I read a book that said something along these lines, albeit talking about accidents: The Unthinkable.

u/StickyElephant · 3 pointsr/news

Then don't criticize the poor man. You don't know what it's like to be in that situation, you don't know how you'd react.

People respond differently to crisis situations. Some people go straight into "fight or flight", some people freeze, some people go into denial.

I'd recommend The Unthinkable for a little education on the matter.

u/GSnow · 3 pointsr/tipofmytongue

Deep Survival, by Laurence Gonzalez, perhaps?

Edit: the other one I know of which is along those lines is "The Unthinkable" by Amanda Ripley

u/questionsnanswers · 3 pointsr/dbtselfhelp

Mindfulness is mindfulness. All it is is being in the moment you are in. Say for example you're mindfully walking down the street, you aren't thinking about the past or the future, you aren't daydreaming or lost in thought. You will be, for example, paying attention to the feeling of your feet hitting the pavement, the feeling of your arms and legs moving, looking around and taking in your environment, etc.

You get better at mindfulness by practicing, so the pain ones and any other ones you can do, are really to your benefit. I started with doing the body scan meditation after reading Full Catastrophe Living from Jon Kabat Zinn. There are plenty of shorter ones as well. Check out these 1-minute mindfulness exercises if you're already feeling overwhelmed.

Mindfulness is training your brain to stay in the here and now and not jump around to everywhere else but the here and now. :)

Take good care! :)

u/kimininegaiwo · 3 pointsr/AskWomen

I recommend Wherever You Go, There You Are and Full Catastrophe Living by Jon Kabat-Zinn. They're about meditation and mindfulness to reduce stress.

u/weremakincopies · 3 pointsr/TwoXChromosomes

Lupus here, been there. Even with the therapy and supportive partner.

You know what helps most? A diagnosis and meds.

Barring that, you're taking good steps. You might want to read this "spoon theory" stuff. People with chronic illness have to deal with more responsibilities — doctors, medicine, self-care — while simultaneously being less able to juggle a multitude of tasks daily.

Mindfulness and meditation probably helped me the most in dealing with my disease (after meds of course), specifically Jon Kabat-Zinn's Full Catastrophe Living, which is targeted towards people with chronic disease and chronic pain. It's a 16-week "program" that is basically to get you up and running with mindfulness self-care in the form of meditation and relaxation exercises for 45 minutes a day, as well as a few other things. When I am doing a body scan or meditating for 45 min a day, I'm doing great. It has long-lasting effects, too; I've gone a few months not doing it at all before feeling the positive effects wear off.

My favorite tool learned from all this is "sitting with the pain." If something is hurting bad or just continually distracting you, you don't ignore it. Instead, you rest your attention on it and dwell in it, exploring where it hurts, what it feels like, how big an area it is, its temperature, whether it's sharp or dull, etc. Soon your mind bores of it and it doesn't hurt as much/doesn't stress you as much.

TLDR Practice accepting where you are at right now instead of comparing it to what you were or what you think you should be. Practice self-care as your first priority: get lots of sleep (even 9 or 10 hours or more if you need it), meditate and/or body scan, do yoga if you can, light exercise if you can, if you can't no big, and eat healthy, minimally processed food if you can.

u/BearJew13 · 3 pointsr/Buddhism

If you don't mind reading, I highly recommend the following books for learning how to use mindfulness to work with anxiety, panic, and stress: Calming your anxious mind and Full Catastrophe Living. The first book deals specifically with anxiety and panic, the second book covers both of these but is a little more general. It teaches you the famous "Mindfulness based stress reduction program" (MBSR) created in the 70s by Jon Kabat Zinn and which is now taught in hundreds of universities and hospitals around the world. Decades of scientific research have showed its immense benefits. Essentially both of these books teach you how to use MBSR to work with anxiety, panic and stress.


You said you have aversion to paying attention to your breath at your nose, have you tried paying attention to the breath at your belly? Diaphramatic breathing can have immense calming benefits. Try practicing taking deep breaths from your belly, each time your mind wanders, simply acklowedge that your mind has wandered and then return your attention to the feeling of deep breaths from your belly. Very calming. Very simply: can be practiced at any time, any place, in any situation.

u/usta-could · 3 pointsr/Mindfulness

Full Catastrophe Living is a good one if you haven’t already read it.

u/Nerdlinger · 3 pointsr/bjj

If I remember correctly, The Chimp Paradox covers some of that.

There's some other research going on in this area, as well. Some is touched on here and in this article.

u/GrrreatFrostedFlakes · 3 pointsr/Anxiety

Did you happen to read this book? It’s the only anxiety book that truly helped me.

u/mindless_mindfulness · 3 pointsr/Mindfulness

Some things that have helped me:

If you can find the audio of this book, it is worth it. Dr. Weekes made the tapes years ago from Australia and there is just something about her.

A great book on Meditation is Mindfulness in Plain English

Also, check out MBSR. Mindfulness Based Stress Relief. You can probably find books and audio online. It is an 8 week course with great exercises and tips.

There are several great apps to help with relaxing and meditation. You should check them out and see if one fits. Many that are subscription based offer free trials. My goto app is Insight Timer. You would think it’s just a meditation timer. It’s not, it’s a great app with a terrible name. A lot of free content.

Lastly, there are some great podcasts. One of my favorites is Mindful Minute. It’s a recording of a woman who runs a 20 minute meditation class but with themes. Each theme is 3 or 4 sessions. You can scroll through and pick something that suits you or start from episode 1.

I hope that helps. Take some nice, slow, deep breaths. If you aren’t belly breathing, look it up. Remember that panic attacks and anxiety are just sensations that scare you. Then you’re scared and you don’t like it and you start fighting the anxiety or panic. Guess what that does? Yep, more anxiety. Breathe.

Feel free to DM me if you have any questions.

May you be safe, may you be free from suffering, may you be peaceful and at ease.

u/therealjgreens · 3 pointsr/Anxiety

> But I gave up.

Those words should never be uttered. Think positively and positive things will come.

Try reading this book. It is the most fantastic book I have ever read on anxiety. If you do not want to invest the money, PM me and I'll buy it for you.

u/anon456456456 · 3 pointsr/raisedbynarcissists

Can you help her move out?

Ask if she wants to join Job Corps, they will provide everything for her (housing, food, etc.) and she will get money too. She can stay there 2 years. They have rules there but that environment is probably far better than living with Ns.

She could voluntarily check into the mental health system, although it usually causes the patients far more harm than good (especially if she freaks out if she feels like she is trapped there, which can happen to people who enter "voluntarily").


Some resources <-- Claire Weekes book for treating anxiety. Don't force her to read it though, it has to be her choice to get help. - documentary on schizophrenia.

u/crxnamja · 3 pointsr/startups

I think everyone reacts different to drugs, etc...

As I've gotten older, I'm 32 now (dinosaur!) I notice anything mind altering negatively effects me for DAYS afterwards.

Also with certain drugs I just lose energy :( And that's no fun. One of my favorite books is Power of Full Engagement:

And maximizing my energy with people, activities, drugs, etc is what I try to be aware of.

One thing I'd encourage any entrepreneur to do is create fun / NON-WORK activities for work. Huh? Yea, one of my best ways of getting ideas is playing disc golf, biking around, showering, working out, etc... When I try to just sit down and "think" of the solution I hardly ever get it.

u/deathraypa · 3 pointsr/Anxiety
u/gemajema · 3 pointsr/Anxiety


Can I recommend a book that's really helped me?
It's free on kindle if you don't have the funds for it by the way.
It's called Dare and it really helped me when I was having severe anxiety.

A lot of us here have felt what you're feeling and I just wanna let you know that it does/can get better.

You're not alone here :)
Feel free to PM me if you need to talk or we can talk here.

u/shaebay · 3 pointsr/loseit

I'm...working on it. I went to therapy last year for it and the first therapist I saw told me that with what I told her, I really needed to get on medication or I would never take control of it. I did not like that, so I found someone else that would be interested in working with me and doing cognitive behavioral therapy. I didn't want to get on medication and just call it a day. I wanted to learn coping skills and add tools to my mental toolbox to help me break down my cycles of binging.

After I got with another therapist, I was assigned a book -

And I also got this one -

Brain Over Binge is recommended here quite often, but I haven't read that one.

As for recovery? Well, as I said before, I'm still working on it. Currently I am 5 days binge free. My longest streak so far has been about 65 days and I'm proud of that. Am I going to slip up again in the future? Maybe. Am I going to binge today? No. That's the important part. I'm not going to binge today and tomorrow morning I'm going to wake up and do it all over again.

u/fragrant_breakfast · 3 pointsr/TryingForABaby

it looks like you already got a lot of great advice but just want to chime in that ive been there too. it sounds like youre having recurrent unwanted thoughts - give that phrase a google and read up on how you can take back control. i also got a lot of help from this workbook. im now on cycle 8 and just got kind of tired maybe of stressing out so its dulled a little. but want to echo what others have said about therapy and possibly meds. my psych said that studies show that stress and anxiety is worse for the baby than specific antidepressants. ive been off my meds for a year and am actively managing it with yoga, therapy and exercise. its not easy and requires dedication but overall i feel much better than i did 8 months ago, and if i can do it, im sure you can too. take care of yourself <3

u/Kalaleia · 3 pointsr/adhd_anxiety

This is a great suggestion! Be sure to practice when you're NOT anxious--and possibly when you are engaging in other relaxation techniques--you can condition your body to associate the diaphragmatic breathing as almost like hitting a physiological reset button. I also have OCD and ADHD (with occasional major depressive episodes), and I've realized if I can calm my body down when I'm at my most anxious, my mind will typically follow suit.

When I was trying to figure out what stress reduction techniques worked for me, this workbook (recommended by my therapist) came in handy:
(I have the fifth edition, but I'm sure the sixth is fine.)

u/JonathanJames140 · 3 pointsr/smallbusiness

You've got this! I worked non-stop for 3 years, 14-18 hour days for months on end without a day off. Do your best to recover when possible and make sure you're exercising. It will help recharge and give you more energy in the long run.

I really liked this book and wish I'd found it sooner in my small business career. It helps tackle some of those issues of not knowing when to do what when everything is something that has to be done!

u/thetvneverlies · 3 pointsr/TwoXADHD

thank you for the suggesstion. after looking at that book, amazon recommended this one and the title alone made me cry.

u/PM10inPAYPAL4LULZ · 3 pointsr/Anxiety

Thanks for this!!! And you can add another book from David Burns called "When Panic Attacks" which is more about anxiety and other disorders and it's more recent.
Link to amazon

u/PMmeforINFPfriend · 3 pointsr/infp

The skills you would benefit from learning don't really lend themselves to a quick comment in a Reddit thread. Do yourself a favor and invest the time and effort (and a small amount of money) to buy and read a book by an expert on the subject.

Here's a good one, written by David Burns, M.D., a plain-spoken and compassionate therapist with several decades of experience. It's titled When Panic Attacks: The New, Drug-Free Anxiety Therapy That Can Change Your Life.

You can see it here at Amazon:

Anxiety, and panic attacks, are quite common. Don't feel that there's something terribly wrong with you. But it's good to educated about what's going on with your body, and what you can do to manage these episodes. And a book like the one mentioned can take you a long way toward that goal.

Best wishes to you.

u/dwade333miami · 3 pointsr/Anxiety

Does she like to read? Maybe you could get her a great book written by a psychiatrist called When Panic Attacks.

u/Mumbawobz · 3 pointsr/AskWomen

Even though "therapy" isn't the answer you want, I'd like to state that Dialectical Behavioral Therapy specifically helped me. It's a specific type of cognitive behavioral therapy more focused on skills learning and behavior training than what people generally associate with therapy (aka psychoanalysis/psychoanalytics). TBH, as someone who's been through a ton of therapy, a bit of advice on if you've considered trying or have been discouraged: the therapists who merely help you "talk about your feelings" without offering skills learning are shits who hurt people rather than helping them. Seriously though, cannot recommend behavior training/thought reinforcement enough. Pointing out negativity and actively changing it to positivity may be hard, but it makes SO MUCH DIFFERENCE.

Also, DBT/CBT practices are something you don't even need to pay people for! You can learn them from a book! Ex:

Edit: mention of bibliotherapy option for help in skills training

u/anxthro · 3 pointsr/datingoverthirty

Agreed that you sound like a good person. Depression is terrible, and as hard as it might be, I wouldn't take any of his behavior too personally. It's such a painful and life-sucking thing to experience that it can be difficult to be anything other than aloof and inconsiderate.

As someone else said, dial it down a bit, but keep in contact. I'm sure he appreciates your presence and doesn't want you to leave, or anything. I'm getting into the mental health field starting this fall, and if he's not familiar with Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), see if he can find a therapist who specializes in it. Many people find David Burns' CBT books very helpful as well (Feeling Good, When Panic Attacks) if you want to get him a copy.

u/helaughsinhidden · 3 pointsr/asktrp

We found that our adult son probably has been dealing with Aspergers and we didn't fully realize it. Also, pretty sure my father does too, so I was raised by a man with these same challenges. My son is working through it, but after my dad just got married, he got a factory job and then abandoned hope of having friends, and pretty much stopped talking to people at 25-30 years old.

>people talk shit about me or just be nice to my face

This is not unique to you or to autistic people.

We all deal with it, but you are probably more "aware" that it is going on and in many cases you might suspect it's happening even when it isn't. Either way, these thoughts or observations are things that you have to learn to ignore or at least suppress because the reason people even do this is out of their own insecurities.

>I can feel the condescension and relegation of them.

There are things you can do, almost mind tricks to pressure flip.

It's difficult to answer without a specific instance, but one thing that my son has a hard time with is to assert himself in situations. For example, let's say you are at work and two employees have to watch and close a gas station. If you allow the dominant person to decide what to do, they will always say they will watch the till while you clean the bathrooms and sweep. What you need to do is start recognizing when these moments of decision are taking place and do something possibly very difficult, you have to speak up or actually be the person who decides what you are going to do first. Get used to push back and confrontation too. This new behavior will get resistance, so learn to stand up for yourself without being mean.

>I can't fit in anywhere I go

This is a basic human fear we all deal with.

If it weren't so, there would be no Red Pill theory to teach men "how to" be confident, alpha, manly, admired, and respected. This is literally why we are all here brother.

>I am starting to think I just have a shit personality.

You might, but that doesn't mean it has to stay that way.

You can learn to communicate better, lighten up, be confident, and relax. This actually is the crux of your issue. If YOU think you are shit, no one else is going to like you either. I suggest HIGHLY that you stick around this forum, and read the sidebar books and update your belief system as you learn and develop new patterns of behavior.

Things that have helped my son.

There are some great books out there that everyone can use to improve social skills and to cultivate a positive self image. Here are some I would recommend that either have helped ME develop a personality from being raised by parents like this or provided to my son to help him in his condition.

Don't Sweat The Small Stuff by Richard Carlson

Great tips and outlook to stop worrying about what people may or may not be thinking of you.

Top Performance: How to Develop Excellence in Yourself and Others by Zig Ziglar

Become the best version of yourself in the workplace and how to transition into a leader people want to follow.

How to Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie

This is actually part of the Red Pill side bar recommended reading and self explanatory.

Power Hold'em Strategy by Daniel Negreanu

This isn't as obvious, but learning to play poker has helped my son a lot. This is a game where it's socially acceptable, even advantageous to be quiet, not show emotions, and to have extraordinary ability to read other people. Through this, my son has learned to like who he is and see how he has special ability. Also, he can practice small talk at the tables in little doses as he gets comfortable in the setting. We play in a free poker league here and after a year of playing in 2 tournaments a month, he's really starting to open up and enjoy the results he is getting at the game and more importantly at the social aspect of playing cards with some people he knows and with new people.

u/NickTDS · 3 pointsr/seduction

As lingual_panda said, take a second to formulate your thoughts. This will also allow you to catch yourself when you're going to say something negative. Be consciously aware and stop the words from coming out of your mouth.

Reading introspective material helped me a ton. I started questioning why I was so bitter and began challenging those harmful thoughts. Don't Sweat The Small Stuff, The Four Agreements, and No More Mr. Nice Guy are excellent books that push you to be a more positive person.

Much of the cynicism and complaining stems from insecurity. Maybe you're frustrated or resentful with others. Figure out what's causing those feelings and eliminate them. And you have to accept that some people are the way they are -- there's no use in wasting your energy complaining.

When I'm truly satisfied and believe in myself, the last thing I want to do is bitch.

u/Serenity101 · 3 pointsr/simpleliving

I have a few mainstays that keep me grounded:

  1. Your inbox will never be empty (so stop stretching yourself thin)

  2. Life is temporary (so stop fussing/fretting over whatever it is)

  3. Don't sweat the small stuff (and it's all small stuff) -book-

u/The_Eleventh_Hour · 3 pointsr/neuroscience

If you want to delve into layman level reading on this sort of thing, look up books and videos by Robert Sapolsky. The book Why Zebras Don't Get Ulcers will teach you a lot about chronic stress, and why it's a bad thing.

Stress in and of itself is not bad, but chronic, prolonged bouts of the stress response, leads to a lot of issues. There are a plethora of physiological things going on, so it's sort of beyond the scope of this one post for me to list all of it, hence why I'm pointing you towards something to read on the layman level.

You can also read up on glucocorticoids.

EDIT: Just 'cause I like when people link me to stuff (I know the laziness, it is strong in us all), here:

Why Zebras Don't Get Ulcers

Monkeyluv: And Other Essays on Our Lives As Animals

The Trouble With Testosterone

The Brain That Changes Itself

The first three are R. Sapolsky, who is amazing. He also has a bunch of video lectures online you can find. I have to go do stuff now, so I can't go link to those, but they should be easy to locate on YouTube.

The last book is one that deals with neuroplasticity stuff, which is what you seem to be interested in, speaking on the malleability of the brain and all that. It's fascinating stuff, I know - that's what got me to pursue neuroscience all those years ago.

If you have anymore questions, or want more resources, just ask - I have a ton of stuff bookmarked or on harddrives, just have to set aside time to locate it.

u/IronWoobie · 3 pointsr/selfimprovement

Compartmentalize it. Have a ritual when you come home from work, maybe a shower, meditation, etc. that let's you mentally separate it from the rest of the day. If you can, keep a private journal at work or at home before you do your cleansing ritual.

Why Zebras don't get ulcers has a pretty good scientific approach, too.

u/1nside · 3 pointsr/Fitness

I suspect the actual reason for this is the reduced stress one experiences through moderate alcohol consumption, not the ethanol itself. I have nothing to support my hypothesis, but ethanol is just another macronutrient, it's not magic. But reducing stress is an extremely powerful force.

u/IgnatiousReilly · 3 pointsr/TrueReddit

For further reading, check out Robert Sapolsky's Why Zebras Don't Get Ulcers.

Edit: Fixed link.

u/hotlongsnz · 3 pointsr/Agoraphobia

The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook

I would really recommend this it has provided an indispensable resource for me and has been used by multiple psychologists I have seen.

You mentioned the happiness trap there are plenty more books by Russ Harris which I have found really useful check out his catalog and see if any others pick your fancy.

Dare: The New Way to End Anxiety and Stop Panic Attacks

This is very good and sets out a really simple approach to panic attacks.

u/shaba7elail · 2 pointsr/selfhelp

I can relate. I often feel stuck and unmotivated. I recently came across a book that's helping me make sense of why my repeated efforts at improving my life often fail. The book is called: The Power of Full Engagement: Managing Energy, Not Time, Is the Key to High Performance and Personal Renewal

I hope it can be of help to you.

u/UniverseBomb · 2 pointsr/aspergers

I'm diagnosed, and have the same issue with meds as an adult. Cup of coffee is the best I can do for myself. Anything else, and goodbye sleep. Also, this book helped me a long time ago.

Memory and self-control techniques are always worth learning, ADD or no.

u/fuzzykittenhead · 2 pointsr/ADHD
u/raisinghellions · 2 pointsr/ADHD

I was also diagnosed in my 30s. Around the same time, I found this book, and just the title made me burst into tears in the bookstore like a lunatic. Still haven't read it, but I plan to. Sending you love, OP.

u/_StarChyld_ · 2 pointsr/ADHD

my problem is that i read books like this in such an ADHD fashion..... I have some books on adhd that i have read several random chapters in different orders a few times..... I think the one i have jumped around in alot is You Mean I'm Not Lazy, Stupid or Crazy?!: The Classic Self-Help Book for Adults with Attention Deficit Disorder They actually talk about jumping around in the prefex for the book!!

Whatever the op decided to do, the first step is to try something. I am really good at not following through or finishing things, and i am finding that writing things down seems to put a different level of commitment to it vs putting it into evernote or a spreadsheet or whatever!

Though for work, I have a spreadsheet that i use to track things based on week that has conditional formatting for whether a task is in progress or completed. Whatever has not been completed from the previous week is copied over with notes and progress. that way i can see what projects and tasks i have to do at a quick glance.

u/winglerw28 · 2 pointsr/ADHD

> Right now I am doing my best to dive into that flaw and try my best to understand why I feel that way.

It is a common type of thinking with ADD! We trick ourselves into tying self worth and productivity together. Growing up, many of us were told that we were lazy, stupid, or crazy! There is a great book on exactly this topic designed for those of us with ADD that I would highly recommend! It is easy to read, which I loved because I have a very hard time reading!

> I don't think my future self would be proud that I took the easy road. I don't want to die a failure.

My biggest regret in life in failing out of college. Not because I failed, but because I made it harder by not taking the easy way out. I could have passed, and am even successful in my career today aside from my career because I swore to never allow that failure to define me. There is nothing wrong with taking the easy path if it will improve you as a person and is more healthy for you in the long term. Sure, sometimes you will need to take the harder path, but don't force yourself past your limits.

> I wish it was different but it is what it is but I can't afford to be easy on myself.

You don't think you can, but there is a difference between being hard on yourself and being unfair to yourself! Mental health is important too, and if you're killing yourself and pushing yourself to the limit 24/7, you will burn out. You don't deserve that, and don't need to live that way, I promise!

> I wish I had supportive people like you and others on this sub in my life. Thank you for the kind words. I wish I knew a way to tell you how much that means to me.

You will find them in time! I once felt the same exact way, and often felt paralyzed with anxiety and fear over these types of thoughts. Things get better, but it takes baby steps! :)

I believe in you, and hope that you find the answers and help you are looking for in your life outside of this sub. You can do this, it just takes a little patience!

u/Daheavyb · 2 pointsr/ADHD

I'm in my 40s. I didn't self diagnose until my mid 30s, until then I was that guy that graduated high school with a .08 (not a typo), but got a full ride scholarship to a local college for my ACT scores. I knew the material, I simply couldn't do the work. (it took me 20 years to realize that word "couldn't" wasn't "wouldn't") I dropped out after 5 months.

If I had a friend or support like you back then, letting me know I'm not a failure by nature, I can only imagine how my life would be different now. Don't get me wrong, I've been lucky, I was able to forge a career as a consultant because of my hobbies (IT), but not everyone else has that opportunity.

Understanding is key. The book "I'm not Lazy, Crazy or Stupid" was my saving grace.

*EDIT: That book is not a recommendation, it's outdated for today's standard.

u/lodc · 2 pointsr/LifeProTips

Made me feel less hopeless and even like certain aspects of it

u/nemineminy · 2 pointsr/internetparents

I recommend this book. As someone who went undiagnosed as a child, discovering the world of ADD as an adult was mind blowing. The title of the book was basically my exact thought lol

u/vengeance_pigeon · 2 pointsr/ADHD

You Mean I'm Not Lazy, Stupid, or Crazy?!

It's an old book, but it helped me out quite a bit when I was diagnosed as a teen (though it is adult-focused, not teen-focused). It addressed ADD in women specifically as well as adult ADD in general. Obviously the section about meds is going to be useless- but the biggest part was that it was so comforting to read. It truly made me feel, for the first time in my life, that I wasn't a lazy, useless slob. I read better books about the actual medicine/psychology, but this book helped me immensely on an emotional level.

u/Stessanie · 2 pointsr/ADHD

Love that one! For those wanting to find it, the title's actually You Mean I'm Not Lazy, Stupid or Crazy?!

u/ColoradoNative456 · 2 pointsr/popularopinion

I'm having this issue with my daughter and I had to file a state complaint against the school.

I've been saying (since 4th grade last year) that my daughter may be dyslexic and I would like to have her tested. Her teacher thought that my daughter was lazy. This year (5th grade) I put my foot down and demanded testing. Then I filed a formal complaint for them ignoring my 3 requests last year.

My daughter is not stupid or lazy! She just learns in a different way. And luckily now she's getting the extra help she needs. But she fell behind last year and her self esteem suffered. I tell her every day that she is smart, and remind her of all the things she's good at.

***I highly suggest your read this book. You Mean I'm Not Lazy, Stupid or Crazy?!: The Classic Self-Help Book for Adults with Attention Deficit Disorder

u/techniclr · 2 pointsr/ADHD
u/flynnski · 2 pointsr/ADHD <--- 6 question screening test.

take a few of teh screening tests. if you turn up likely for ADHD, chat with a therapist/psych. talk about behavioral screening and medication. see what mix of the two is right for you.

step 1 is talk to a dr.

if i could've been diagnosed at your age instead of 25 my life would've changed drastically for the better. i would've had a good gpa in high school instead of barely passing.

do some reading. do some research. make sure it's you.

this book helped me a lot:

ask us lots of questions. we're here for ya. :)

u/redditingatwork31 · 2 pointsr/ADHD
u/jm_me · 2 pointsr/ADHD

Don't take the "screw it!" route just yet. I don't recommend throwing in the towel and just accepting that you can't do it. Let's not go down that well trodden path just yet.

Meds aren't the only answer. There aren't magical pills that make homework easier. They can help a little but they aren't a cure all. You need to educate yourself on your condition. Read books and learn everything you can about this. You need to take a very active role in managing yourself and the only way you can do that is by knowing everything you can about ADHD. You aren't lazy or stupid. It's actually a decent book to start with "You Mean I'm not Lazy, Stupid or Crazy". You can't fight anything if you don't know what it is you are actually fighting against. You can do this if you have the right information. You can do it.

You have a condition that makes this stuff harder to deal with than it is for other people, but that doesn't mean you are stupid or lazy and it doesn't mean you can't find ways to deal with it. Stop telling yourself that and stop believing that as soon as possible. I was in a similar place as you. Thinking the same things and feeling like shit all the time. After I finally found out why I couldn't get my life together I started to devour as much information as I could and that is the only way I'm able to lead a proper functioning life now. It takes a lot of tools and tricks but I'm doing it and I have a lot more years of bad habits to break than you do. Take this chance to get on the right track now.

Good Luck.

u/Stralor · 2 pointsr/ADHD

I have ADHD-PI.
We all have different hormonal makeups, and sensitivities. I don't have too much of an issue with my meds and my hormonal cycle, (I'm on 3 month depo shot, and Strattera). But did experience extreme emotional swings when I tried Ritaline. Bassically as soon as it stopped working I would cry/get angry.

I was raised in a family where ADHD became a household term when 2 siblings and my mother were all diagnosed, when I was around 6 years old. I wasn't diagnosed till I was 25.
I'd always known about ADHD and how some people have bigger problems with certain symptoms and the personality disorders sometimes associated with ADHD. But it didn't hit home till my mother gave me the book, You Mean I'm Not Lazy, Stupid Or Crazy?
I really recommend it, as it gave so much insight into my symptoms, and which symptoms I had been overcompensating for.

Since I got diagnosed and had my therapy, courses and medication. I've been busy trying to get my non ADHD family to understand how ADHD works, why it is that way, and why berating people for things they do which are literally symptoms. Is a nasty way of putting those people down. Instead of accepting their flaws, and the entire package that person is. By comparing it other physical flaws like bad eyesight, or hearing. Why won't you just start hearing better! Does nothing for someone's hearing, and it's unrealistic to expect it to improve.

Both my siblings and my mother have been talked down on and in my sisters case completely black sheep labeled. Because of their ADHD symptoms, and inability to magically make their symptoms disappear.

As a side note for people who think they don't have the hyperactivity, remember that doesn't just include the classic boy running around and bouncing around.
Women are from childhood taught to be quiet, we internalize it, so the hyperactivity often shows in us in different ways, like speaking at a high speed. Or vibrating your foot, picking at something, fiddling with your hair, fidgeting. And also high speed thoughts.
When I am for example at school when I am very focused on something my foot will vibrate, or I will play with a pen in my hand, this release of hyper activeness allows me to focus.

u/Acute_Procrastinosis · 2 pointsr/ADHD

I know that I read at least half of this one:

You Mean I'm Not Lazy, Stupid or Crazy?!: The Classic Self-Help Book for Adults with Attention Deficit Disorder

I bought it on recommendation from an aspergerian acquaintance.

u/sindikat · 2 pointsr/CBTpractice

Note on worrying

For some reason Feeling Good doesn't tackle anxieties and worrying. I remember that Dale Carnegie's How to Stop Worrying and Start Living deals with it effectively.

Anxiety attacks are terrible, they are probably worse than usual procrastination binges. I hope cognitive therapy has something in its arsenal against anxiety attacks.

Actually, David Burns has a book When Panic Attacks published in 2006. He also tackles anxiety, fear and phobias in part 3 of Feeling Good Handbook.

u/NekoLaw · 2 pointsr/AskReddit

I actually went through a period of about 2 years where I didn't drive. I think it was triggered by a relatively minor accident I was in. A few weeks after that, I had a panic attack while driving, and then it just became a vicious downward spiral.

The insidious thing about panic attacks is that they themselves become the greatest cause of future panic attacks. Your mother isn't afraid of driving (just like I wasn't) - she's afraid of having a panic attack while she's driving. This fear gets her nervous system so amped up that by the time she gets behind the wheel, it's almost inevitable that she'll have another incident.

The reason she was able to drive cross country that one time is that she had a bigger issue to distract her from her normal fear. She was more focused on her distraught friend than she was her own anxiety. This is all a mind trick.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy can be incredibly effective in helping people with phobias and anxieties. I highly recommend the book, When Panic Attacks for a way to both understand the issue and to begin addressing it.

I know she's against medication, but a short-acting benzodiazepine (Xanax, Klonopin, etc ...) could also help her reduce her anxiety level enough to get behind the wheel for the early part of her recovery. Most general physicians will prescribe them and the generics run less than $30 for a month+ supply.

And, yes, your friends are right. Ultimately, the longer you let your mother use you as a crutch, the more she'll avoid driving and the deeper her anxiety will run. I started driving again because I had to. I didn't want to, but it was out of necessity. At first I would only take short trips down side streets. Once I was comfortable with that, I moved on to larger roads and, eventually, I was on the freeway again. It didn't happen overnight, but each small success built on the one before it. Your mom can do this too. I wish you both the best of luck.

u/xinihil · 2 pointsr/TheRedPill

This is called cognitive flooding. Very common and effective technique in psychiatric therapy (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy particularly) for dealing with traumatic experiences and deep-rooted anxieties.

For anyone looking further into this subject, I highly recommend When Panic Attacks by David D. Burns, MD. As hokey as the book may seem at first glance, the material provided is ridiculously effective.

u/error453plus1 · 2 pointsr/NoStupidQuestions

As someone who suffered from anxiety for several years, I know that recovery can often be a personal journey and that what works for 1 person may not work for others. I can only tell you what worked for me and hope that some parts of it also work for you.

I did a bit of therapy, saw several doctors, was put on anti-depressants as a means to reduce anxiety. Was pretty miserable for 2 years, couldn't drive without a panic attack, couldn't watch TV, I would often wake up with panic attacks. It was bad.

I eventually found this book by David D. Burns, M.D:

The gold mine of this book is the framework for the mental exercises that you are to do, it was in doing these exercises that I was eventually cured. It wasn't instantaneous, it was gradual, I had to put in the work, but it was worth it and only cost me my own time. The main guts of the book are explaining cognitive distortions, which are patterns of thought that are fictitious in some way.

The primary goal that the book is driving you towards is to be able to take a negative thought, break it down, find the cognitive distortions in it and turn it into a positive thought that is true that you actually believe.

For instance, if I try to summarize your thought from your post:

Negative Thought: "I'm abnormally tired and think my liver is failing"

Percentage that you believe this: 100%

We might find the following cognitive distortions behind this thought:

  1. All or nothing thinking. You view things in absolute terms, because you feel bad, something really bad must be happening.
  2. Jumping to conclusions. You jump to conclusions without regarding any facts.
  3. Emotional Reasoning. You base your reasoning upon how you are feeling. You feel bad, so therefore your liver is failing.

    Once you've identified distortions you try to put the lie to your original negative thought. You might combat it by saying: Although I do feel abnormally tired, I have been making many changes in life that may take time for my body to adjust to. The test results I got show that my liver is ok. Just because I feel tired right now does not mean that I am dying.

    Then you revisit your original negative thought and say, hmm, maybe I only believe this 5% right now and I believe my new positive thought 85%. The goal is to stop believing your negative thoughts. Anyways, rough breakdown of some of the types of exercises the book would guide you through. I highly recommend it.
u/CounterpointBlue · 2 pointsr/CBT

Hey! I grabbed it off of Amazon. The copy is an older edition but was untouched, fortunately.

Here's the link:

When Panic Attacks: The New, Drug-Free Anxiety Therapy That Can Change Your Life

Therapist told me to use this in conjunction with TFGH. I figured it was a companion project by Dr. Burns; it is a separate workbook. Regardless, Dr. Burns' TFGH and this piece work well together for me.

Sorry for any confusion. Hope you dig it.

u/miruchan · 2 pointsr/cscareerquestions

Hi! I'm really sorry you're going through this, but please know it is (sadly) really common, but people just don't talk about it. I've had pretty bad panic attacks for at least 1 year (was also under medication), but now I'd say it's more under control (not 100% free, but I know what to do when it happens). Some recommendations:

  1. Read about it - Get informed and know it's something we can learn how to deal with (for example, identifying triggers). I liked this book:
  2. Find activities that get your mind out of that state - For me, it was playing games (it's not as passive as watching tv, for example) and exercising. If you do like playing videogames, I also recommend finding games that won't trigger an unexpected panic attack (to me, increased heart rate used to be a trigger, so I didn't play a lot of competitive games for a while).
  3. Mindfulness - I know it sounds silly, but anxiety usually comes from worrying about the future. Try to live in the moment as much as possible and focus on being mindful with everything you do.

    Just remember you'll be okay after a panic attack (even though it sucks) and you can always ask for help if there's someone around you. Keep fighting! :)
u/maisonoiko · 2 pointsr/slatestarcodex

You should look into cognitive behavioral therapy as well. It has a pretty well proven track record for anxiety and depression.

You can see a therapist for it but its also possible to self learn the techniques from books, etc.

The books by Dr. David Burns are pretty good ones on this subject. This one is all about anxiety.

u/thorface · 2 pointsr/OkCupid

I would say if this behavior turns into something impulsive and it takes up your thinking for a huge portion of the day, grab some compulsive-obsessive anxiety books and look into some of the techniques in them. What you described matches many of the examples I read in this book:

He has methods for people to use to help alleviate compulsions like the one you describe.

Once again, if this issue doesn't go away and it bothers you more and more, please look into that book.

u/VinceAtLSU · 2 pointsr/Anxiety

I would recommend [this book] ( It has really helped me. It provides you with a multitude of techniques that can help. There is a very good chance that at least one will help you dramatically.

The first step may be to write down your fears as they are happening. If you wait until after, you won't get to the root of your problem. Once you find the root cause, you can 'put the lie to it'. After that, you can basically laugh at the fear and move on in your life.

I've had similar issues. I changed my diet and implemented daily exercising. Feeling better physically can help your mental state almost immediately.

Lastly, I would recommend breathing techniques. There are many found on the internet. I would try them out to see which works. The key for me was to use them during the earliest forms of anxiety. If I waited for a full blown attack, I was less successful.

While I've never had relationship anxiety, I have been in a relationship for 14 years. I think the best advice I can give is: you will never be happy if you have to pretend to be someone else. You have to reach a point where you feel comfortable enough to be yourself. Know that if it is meant to be, she will accept you for you for who you are. The good and the bad.

u/pollyannapusher · 2 pointsr/AlAnon

Thanks for your reply. :-)

  1. No, she is not someone that I email with often, so therein lies my major obstacle. We are close when we are together, but since I moved 3 years ago I only see her once a year and we don't communicate outside of that (I dropped facebook years ago).
  2. I know that she is searching for something to fill the hole that is inside of her. She has taken to reading self-help and inspiration books of late. When we were together over Christmas, she was really interested in the process that I had been through to get to the point I was emotionally, mentally and physically (it's quite dramatic for someone who hasn't been around me in awhile). No, she has not specifically asked me for help.
  3. Mid-South. I checked, and there is a group in her city.

    I understand what you are saying about thinking whether or not you actually need help. That's why I didn't want to stumble on my first attempt to reach out to her about it. Sometimes once that wall comes up initially, it's next to impossible to get through again.

    I picked up Don't Sweat the Small Stuff, and It's All Small Stuff for her over the weekend at a used bookstore and I thought maybe I might send it to her to restart a dialog(?) Honestly, I'm not really sure what I'm doing that's why I'm here! ;-)
u/AfroWairus · 2 pointsr/teenagers

Glad to hear that things can be slightly resolved. I recently heard of this book that could help with these sort of things (Linky to buy it on amazon. If you ever need to talk or anything, feel free to hit send me a message!

u/mattyven · 2 pointsr/pics

There's actually a pretty good book by that title.

EDIT: Link to the book on Amazon

u/bohogirl1 · 2 pointsr/AskReddit

this was my problem as well and reading and rereading this book was amazing.

u/RakshaNain · 2 pointsr/books

How to stop worrying and stop living : I think I have the perfect how-to book for you, it's called Bunny Suicides
EDIT - non-sarcastic answer - Maybe something like Don't Sweat the Small Stuff

u/baxter00uk · 2 pointsr/AskReddit
u/pianobutter · 2 pointsr/askscience

Oh, I have a bunch of recommendations.

First, I really think you should read Elkhonon Goldberg's The New Executive Brain. Goldberg was the student of neuropsychology legend Alexander Luria. He was also a good friend of Oliver Sacks, whose books are both informative and highly entertaining (try The Man who Mistook his Wife for a Hat).

I also think Jeff Hawkins' On Intelligence is a great read. This book focuses on the neocortex.

I think you'll also appreciate Sapolsky's Why Zebras Don't Get Ulcers. Sapolsky is a great storyteller. This book is a pretty good primer on stress physiology. Stress affects the brain in many ways and I'm sure this book will be very eye-opening to you!

More suggestions:

The Age of Insight and In Search of Memory by Eric Kandel are good. The Tell-Tale Brain and Phantoms of the Brain by Ramachandran are worth checking out. If you are interested in consciousness, you should check out Antonio Damasio and Michael Graziano. And Giulio Tononi and Gerald Edelman.

If you're up for a challenge I recommend Olaf Sporn's Networks of the Brain and Buzsáki's Rhythms of the Brain.

u/Pilantrologo · 2 pointsr/atheism

Hitchens left the party (a.k.a. Life) too early. How I miss that man.

Thanks for your contribution, btw. Will have a gander at Pinker's book after finishing this one here.

u/fingerthemoon · 2 pointsr/TheRedPill


This was a reply to a PM but I posted for relevance.

Yeah man, I'm quite familiar with all that stuff but thanks. BTW, I've spent hundreds of dollars on probiotics and was on them for a couple years, now I think they're a waste of money. I came across a scientist that explained how the probiotic industry is largely a scam with fake studies. They can actually hinder the repopulation of your native bacteria. I've been battling this thing for many years and have researched extensively. There's probably nothing you could tell me that I don't know all about. Water fasting is the best. The only thing I haven't tried is fecal transplant.

As long as I follow my strict diet the symptoms go away eventually. I've healed myself completely a few times and even became a crossfit addict for a couple years. But I slipped after losing my dog and started binging again. Also lost hope in finding a decent woman ever. Gained 35 lbs and got a drinking problem. Then I discovered TRP. I've lost almost all the weight now and getting back in shape. Five more pounds to lose. I'm over crossfit and use Gold's gym for strength training and do a lot of mountain biking and trail running.

There's also a psychosomatic component as well. I recommend reading Robert Saplosky's Why Zebras Don't Get Ulcers

Back to OP's post, my woman ditched on me when I was sick and needed her support for the first time in over six years. She fucked me over and flaunted her new man in my face. I lost my shit and almost committed a felony a few times. I supported her completely for many years, put her through school, payed off her debt and bought her an SUV. As soon as I became week she kicked me in the balls and tore out my heart. I thought I knew her but I was naive about the true nature of women. I will never make that mistake again.

u/PyLog · 2 pointsr/bodybuilding

Check out this book

Have you been very stressed recently?

u/ICanHeal · 2 pointsr/CBD

Yes CBD might help.

But you also need to learn to get your situation specific anxiety under control psychologically.

I highly recommend the book "Dare: The New Way to End Anxiety and Stop Panic Attacks" --

It's a very easy read, can get through it in a couple hours - and the psychological technique it teaches it a really, truly effective at vaporizing this sort of anxiety.

u/Meloman0001 · 2 pointsr/socialanxiety

It sounds like your body is having a fight or flight response. A few suggestions.

  • You might want to check out the book Don't Panic: Taking Control of Anxiety Attacks or something like it

  • Maybe try mindfulness meditation

  • High intensity interval training. In between sets, try to calm your breath using the techniques I mentioned in the first post. That will get your body used to stress and recovery and will train you to use breathing to calm the nerves

  • Also, you might want to try some pranayama breathing exercises

  • Lastly, you may want to join a social anxiety group therapy program. I'm joining one next month, Ill let you know how it goes
u/FuelModel3 · 2 pointsr/Anxiety

Outside of seeing a therapist I've found that meditation and exercise are the best ways to deal with lowering my overall anxiety level. Several years ago I had a significant bout of anxiety and panic attacks that were pretty debilitating. I ended up seeing a therapist who specialized in anxiety disorders (I've dealt with panic attacks nearly my entire adult life). He introduced me to simple meditation and breathing exercises that really worked in reducing my overall baseline anxiety levels.

The meditation exercises allowed me to better cope with periods of new stress simply because my overall anxiety level was now starting at a lower position whenever new stress/worry showed up. If my overall anxiety level was hovering around a 7 out of 10 and some new stress showed up it was easy for it to go right to a 10 out or 10. With the meditation exercises it brought my overall level down to around a 4 out of 10. When new stress showed up I would still experience worry and anxiety but it wouldn't send me over the edge into panic attacks and the cycle of worry that would keep me amped up for weeks on end.

There are a couple of good books dealing with this. The Relaxation Response and Don't Panic that were really helpful.

If you choose to see a therapist (something I've found very helpful multiple times throughout my life) look for one specializing in anxiety disorders and cognitive behavioral therapy. They can help you reframe the way you think about anxiety and stress and help provide new coping mechanisms.

The meditation routine is like a discipline. You have to keep it up in order for it to work. I've gotten out of the habit of doing it (like right now) several times only to pick it back up again when I realized I was getting myself into a bad place.

Hope this is helpful. Good luck!

u/jlrtc · 2 pointsr/Anxiety

This is a really good book that helped me.
One of the best strategies I learned to cope with panic attacks was, essentially, “bring it on!” Fear begets fear, and panic attacks will happen when you’re in a state of fear - it’s what our brains have been trained to do. By challenging the panic attack to do it’s worst, your brain will decrease the adrenaline, and instead of amplifying the panic, you’ll start to relax instead.

u/acp_rdit · 2 pointsr/JordanPeterson

every few mins stop what you are doing, close your eyes and just take a couple of deep breaths, a mini-meditation break emptying your mind except for your concentration on breathing

when you "come back" you ask yourself what you are doing, and why you are doing it

this will align your actions to your purpose as you continue your task, or you might decide that the current task isn't your highest priority and go on to something else

either way you are acting with conscious intention and not on instinctual auto-pilot

this book has some good metaphors for how consciousness interacts with our instinctual behaviors

u/putoption15 · 2 pointsr/pakistan

Happy to share my thoughts as this is something that interests me greatly. When not busy with mundane business stuff, I'm always thinking about how to get the best out of my team.

>Really what just scares me is that I panic easily

Well, fear triggers the primitive part of the brain which very quickly suppresses your PFC. Unfortunately, this is exactly the bit of the brain that you need to be working at its best. And the way to make your brain understand that the world will not end if the threat is realised is by experiencing it. For instance, deliberately failing an assessment that doesn't count towards the final score.

And shifting one's perspective on performance is critical to managing the amygdala. Therefore rather than saying "I must get an A grade" to yourself, it needs to be "I'll do the very best I can and will continuously improve." This way exam is not a threat but rather an opportunity to improve.

Good read: Chimp Paradox.

u/smallspark · 2 pointsr/DecidingToBeBetter

Huh, didn't know there was a list. It is a real book, wish the name wasn't so dismissible:

Its based on amino acid supplementation. If cost is an issue, fyi amino acid costs can add up. That said, I found it very informative and very helpful.

u/soulfine99 · 2 pointsr/AlAnon

Just wanted to tell you you are not alone. Alot of us understand what you are going through. I've realized that I have alot of my own anxiety issues and trying to help an addicted loved one exacerbates it further of course. My loved one tries to medicate his anxiety/PTSD with alcohol. However, I also have maladaptive coping mechanisms too. Alls to say, I started to research how I can help alleviate my anxiety/stress through nutrition/exercise etc, and found a wealth of information regarding biochemical repair. Alot of the "dry drunk" syndrome can yes be, the fact the person has issues they need to address, ideally in therapy, but also, sometimes it's partially due to a lack of nutritional support/repair after they stop drinking. As we know, alcohol does so much damage to a person's mind/body, and continues to affect long after the substance is gone. The following are resources I found for myself and my loved one that goes more in-depth about biochemical repair as it pertains to anyone suffering with anxiety, stress, mood, and addictive behaviors.

I'm not trying to trivialize or say a vitamin will cure things, just wanted to bring up a nutritional/medical reason why some people present with these mood behavior issues, especially AFTER ceasing drinking. These books give solid advice/guidance that can benefit anyone.

Goal is to keep prioritizing our own health/well-being. You deserve all the health, happiness, and love that you seek OP. Sending you a hug!

Seven Weeks To Sobriety: The Proven Program To Fight Alcoholism Through Nutrition By Joan Larson, Ph.D., Director of Health Recovery Center

The Mood Cure by Julia Ross, M.A.
The Mood Cure: The 4-Step Program to Take Charge of Your Emotions--Today

The Anti-Anxiety Food Solution: How the Foods You Eat Can Help You Calm Your Anxious Mind, Improve your Mood, and End Cravings, by Trudy Scott,

“Biohack Boozing: Your Complete Guide,” By Dr. Zandra Palma of Parsley Health Functional Medicine Practice

Fit-Recovery Website: Biochemical Repair/”Drinking Sucks” Book by Chris Scott

Dr. Mendelson with Ria Health

Heal Thyself: A Doctor at the Peak of His Medical Career, Destroyed by Alcohol -- and the Personal Miracle That Brought Him Back, by Olivier Ameisen, M.D.  French Cardiologist Who Discovered Baclofen For His Own Alcohol Dependence, Also known as “The End of My Addiction.”

u/cycle_killah · 2 pointsr/leaves

Hey, thanks for all your useful info! There's a world of supplements out there. My biggest advice to anyone interested is to research. Check out /r/Supplements/ and /r/nootropics.

Something to keep in mind is that some supplements build a tolerance (like L-Tryptophan and L-Tyrosine), so I found that it worked really well in the beginning and then it started to lose its effect once regularly dosing. Furthermore, I stress research again because trying to manually balance your brain is difficult. If anyone is interested in trying to improve their mood with supplements, I've heard good things about a book called The Mood Cure, so you might want to check it out (I haven't read it).

Personally if my diet, sleep and exercise are in check, I feel fantastic. So I don't really see a need for them and just take a multivitamin. If I'm having a shitty day I might pop some L-Tyrosine. Thanks again man!

u/StarKittyCat13 · 2 pointsr/SantaMonica

This book called : “The Mood Cure”.
It’s a guide using nutrition to help aid depression/anxiety. I was not eating enough protein... moodcurebookamazon

u/biodebugger · 2 pointsr/AskReddit

TL;DR: food/brain/mood interaction and dopamine info may be relevant

I agree that the possibility of diet playing a role is a good thing to consider. I was suffering pretty dramatic shifts for many years that my husband and some doctors suggested was bipolar (similar to what you describe but without the anger/lashing out). Eating differently turned out to be the key to finally getting free of that (discussed in this thread).

Vitamin D and iodine are other good topic to explore, in addition to omega-3 which other's have already mentioned. The books "The UltraMind Solution" and "The Mood Cure" have interesting things to say on the topic diet/brain/mood interactions.

Another good topic to explore is dopamine. What you describe sounds very consistent with dopamine levels perhaps being too low during the "depressed" times, too high during the "happy" times, and more than usually affected by the sorts of events which cause it to slew downward.

I wrote a blog post about dopamine that might be helpful. I tried to summarize and link to some of what I found about how dopamine status affects and is affected by various factors.

Edit: grammar repair

u/charlatan · 2 pointsr/Fitness

I've thumbed through this book below. Tryptophan is a necessary amino acid. GABA is made by the body. They sound promising for helping alcoholism, anxiety, sleeplessness, muscle tone, and more. This book talks about taking them for the short term, fixing imbalances while you eat a better diet.

u/Wikkedred1 · 2 pointsr/Paleo

Julia Ross talks about this very thing in her book, The Mood Cure.

I'm not done reading it yet, but it's motivated me to go nearly 100% primal/paleo. Every single time I cheat I feel it. I sleep like crap and feel like I'm on an emotional roller coaster.

Sometimes I miss my former ignorance. But now, it's mostly just not worth it to cheat.

u/gigglebottie · 2 pointsr/todayilearned

Actually there's an interesting hierarchy that develops when traumatic situations happen and panic sets in. People who are leaders in that area tend to step forward and make the big decisions where other people will generally stay passive and do as they're told.

EG, a fire breaks out at a restaurant. A server is more likely to take an assertive role than say, a boy scout troop leader who happens to be eating at the restaurant. Even though the troop leader would be more accustomed to directing a group, in that situation they will tend to follow what the server says, even though outside of the restaurant it would be the opposite.

You'll hear stories of bellhops and "menial" workers going above and beyond their duty in circumstances like this, and this was the case on the Titanic as well. I wouldn't call engineers menial but the clerks and staff on-board the ship put their passengers well being above their own, repeatedly.

And contrary to popular belief, people rarely ever panic - a very common natural reaction to disaster is to freeze and observe. If no one else panics, the instinct is to fit in with the crowd and do nothing. Flight attendants have to be trained to literally shout at passengers to get up from their chairs in an emergency, otherwise the passengers will just sit there!

I'm sort of rambling but my main issue with your comment is cowardice. Cowardice and fear are terms and realities for higher thought. When disaster strikes, for the untrained man, higher thought is not involved. Self-preservation can manifest in very strange and unexpected ways, and none of them reflect on your moral fiber as a person, just what your body is programmed to do to survive.

But you are right, you definitely have to get to know yourself in a disaster in order to predict what your general behavior will be.

Also this is a really awesome book that I recommend on the subject:

edit: ha, linked to the wrong book!!

u/princess-smartypants · 2 pointsr/books

The Unthinkable: Who Survives when Disaster Strikes by Amanda Ripley made me understand why people don't behave rationally in emergency situations

Edit to add: We Meant Well: How I Helped Lose the Battle for the Hearts and Minds of the Iraqi People by Peter Van Buren. The author, a veteran Foreign Service worker, chronicles his time in Iraq. Explains why war costs so much, and why, at least in Iraq, is so I seemingly ineffective.

u/PerseP · 2 pointsr/Survival

I didn't like that book much, too many personal references to his personal life and to Chinese proverbs. A much better one is (The Unthinkable)[] b y Amanda Ripley

u/Standing_Stone · 2 pointsr/AskMen

You really, really need to get this book: Full Catastrophe Living. It is scientifically based, clinically proven. It is a program (you can do it on your own or, if you live in a bigger city, there are people most definitely leading 8-week MBSR classes that you can sign up for) specifically designed for people with chronic pain, and that are struggling with anxiety and depression! Please at least check it out!!

u/awesomefresh · 2 pointsr/Stoicism

This book by Marcus Aurelius has transformed my life from one crippled by generalized anxiety into one that is still troubled, but with a definite method to press on. It is easily the most important book I've ever read. (Make sure you check out the Hays translation, the others are quite stiff. This is normally $10 so it's on sale on Amazon.)

What you are talking about is more properly called mindfulness, which was the first tool I tried. I had some success, in particular with Full Catastrophe Living, and if you find mindfulness effective then I would recommend simple mindfulness meditation (just sitting and letting thoughts pass through you--noticing that you have them and not responding to them or labeling them as good or bad, just resting in the moment and accepting that you have certain thoughts or feelings but also watching them pass by).

However, stoicism takes these ideas further and embues an element of self-trust that was much more effective for me. While mindfulness emphasizes the importance of the present and minimizing your immedate negative emotional responses, stoicism includes these elements but also says: there is nothing that can harm you. All I can do is act best I can, and not worry about the rest. Control what you can, but accept what you can't control. External events are uncontrollable and with practice you can remain completly resilent to them--metnally and emotionally accepting that you are in a certain situation but retaining the ability to deal with it in the best way you can.

It is difficult at first, but your everyday difficulties with anxiety are a perfect opportunity to practice. When you face situations and get through them, you hold the realization in your mind that that situation did not harm you--while it may have been unpleasant, you survived and moved straight through it. The unpleasantness was bearable, and you are no worse a person for dealing with it, in fact you are much the better. You can trust in this realization as you look forward toward future events. These little successes can accumulate in a big way if you take the first big step to accept your current limitations and trust in your current ability.

A fantastic example of the will's ability to persevere in impossible situations is Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl. Frankl faces this daily horrors without anxiety because of his complete trust in his ability to face it squarely and overcome it.

So a stoic isn't someone who is passive or emotionless, but someone who is resilent and extremely proactive in response to difficulty. In terms of specific negative emotions like anxiety, anger, or fear, it's important to remember that you are not trying to ignore or not feel these things. That is a misconception about stoicism. These feeling are natural and in fact necessary for life. However, you want to domesticate these negative emotions and remain in control in spite of them, as much as you can. Everyone is overcome by anxiety at times, but the Stoic bounces back that much quicker.

tl;dr I have recommended a lot of books but everything I wrote is firmly based on the many times I have read Marcus Aurelius' Meditations. It is truly worth your time.

u/MakeThisLookAwesome · 2 pointsr/ChronicPain
u/jbristow · 2 pointsr/Mindfulness

Agreed, Jon Kabat-Zinn's 7 "attitudinal factors of mindfulness" includes "non-striving".

> “Almost everything we do, we do for a purpose, to get something or somewhere. But in meditation, this attitude can be a real obstacle” (op.cit. p. 37). The tendency to ”driven-ness” in our culture and society has enabled us to enjoy unprecendented standards of living, comfort and security. However, ”driven-ness” has resulted in extraordinary levels of unsatisfactoriness, stress and other associated problems, and we can inevitably bring this tendency into our meditation practice. Within this context, the attitude of “non-striving” is best understood as not straining or forcing for a result. Loosening up expectations of our meditation practice can be both challenging and liberating.

Kabat-Zinn's Full Catastrophe Living is dense, but worthwhile reading if you're looking for a more guidance for self-exploration.

I definitely recommend an MBSR class, though.

u/rocketsocks · 2 pointsr/bicycling

I'd suggest learning a bit about mindfulness or mindfulness based cognitive behavioral therapy. There are tons of books on amazon that cover mindfulness in regards to stress/anger management, I'd suggest looking through some of them, reading some of the reviews, and picking one that seems like it might work for you. There are a couple of important core things you get from doing this stuff. One is that you practice techniques and habits that you can reach for to help keep you grounded and in control. Another is that you practice seeing your thoughts and emotions as a stream of things that don't control you and that you have the choice whether or not to let them carry you away. Just because you feel angry or start having angry thoughts doesn't mean you have to hop on the angry thoughts train and get carried away until you break something or do something you regret. You can train yourself to experience it, feel it, and choose to let it go.

It's a very powerful set of techniques and ideas and it doesn't require some great alteration of your consciousness or whatever, it just requires fairly regular persistent practice, it's like a muscle that you build up through reps.

Having an activity you can zone out on or that brings out your feelings of contentment and peace, like riding, taps into a lot of the same underlying mechanisms that mindfulness works with, but in a way that you don't really have control over or understand. Through repetition you've been training your mind to enjoy cycling and be peaceful when cycling, and so on. But because all of this is unconscious it can be frustrating when it doesn't work because there's a violation of expectations, an unfulfilled need, and the sudden realization that you don't know how to get what you desire out of it anymore. But if you begin to understand how your brain works and the mechanisms that those stress relieving activities actually work through, you can gain the upperhand on stress, anger, and avoid the frustration of feeling let down by something you were depending on to help you out.

Hope that helps.

u/JustMeRC · 2 pointsr/BPDlovedones

Mindfulness Meditation, is the most familiar form of meditation, which I mentioned in the original post. Here are some links to various mindfulness meditation recordings.

If you're new to mindfulness meditation, start with one like this, from the Secular Buddhist Association. If it's still too long for you at first, do not worry if you can't get through the whole thing. Try to work up to the whole 20 minutes over as many sessions as it takes.

The UCLA Mindfulness Awareness Research Center, has a set of downloads which include breathing meditations, along with some of the other meditations mentioned in this post. They also have a podcast available on iTunes University which can be streamed on the website, or downloaded via the link.

Though the recordings on his site are the only ones I've listed which are for sale, and not free, I thought some of you might be interested in Jon Kabat-Zinn. His book, Full Catastrophe Living, along with his other books, are perfect for anyone dealing with the emotional disregulation, either themselves or as a person who cares for someone with BPD. He's known for being the person who brought the concept of mindfulness to the west, and in a non-religious way. He offers 3 series of recordings, all available as CD's or MP3 downloads, along with many books, which are available for purchase. I have not heard these recordings myself, so I cannot vouch for them, but I hope to purchase one or more of them in the near future.

u/ctrl_f_sauce · 2 pointsr/TwoXChromosomes

A good way to stop ruminating is through the practice of mindfulness. If you have issues letting go of negative thoughts, or you dwell on old stuff I recommend you check out this book . It helped me a lot. You simply practice acknowledging your thoughts and then pushing them out.

u/FiveFourThreeNoseOne · 2 pointsr/Random_Acts_Of_Amazon

Have you ever tried or considered meditation or mindfulness? It can do wonders as a mood stabilizing tool. Formal meditation is certainly a longer term thing, but some mindfulness techniques can be put into practice and show results fairly quickly. It's clinically tested and proven stuff. There are some great books to look into, like Full Catastrophe Living or Mindfulness in Plain English.

u/IsItEeyoreLooking4 · 2 pointsr/getting_over_it

That sounds a lot like MBSR. Jon Kabat-Zinn is known as the man who took meditation and yoga from the east and melded it with western psychology. I read his book and try to meditate when I'm feeling well, but for some reason I can never muster up the strength and will to meditate when I'm in my bad cycle.

u/xoJigglypuff · 2 pointsr/confession

Firstly, don't beat yourself up about it, now you know the truth and thankfully that your insecurities were deceiving. You can use this to establish an "autopilot" to use, reassure yourself and remember that when insecure thoughts enter your head, that things aren't that way in reality. This could be her telling the truth in this situation, remembering that she doesn't do that anymore, or a situation where you have truly felt that she loves you back. That is the reality of things.
For clarification, the term "autopilot" is from The Chimp Paradox by Prof Steven Peters. You may find it useful in taking control of destructive thoughts.

["Autopilots are all the positive, constructive beliefs, behaviours and automatic functioning that help us to be successful and happy in life. Autopilots could include, for example: riding a bike; staying calm when something goes wrong; focusing on solutions rather than problems; tying a shoelace; being organised and disciplined as a routine; having a positive self-image."] (

u/AmericanSteve · 2 pointsr/LiverpoolFC

It is midnight and I am sitting alone laughing. Never thought of that connotation. I should probably be more clear next time.

From Steve Peter's book listing

The Chimp Paradox contains an incredibly powerful mind management model that can help you be happier and healthier, increase your confidence, and become a more successful person. This book will help you to:

—Recognize how your mind is working
—Understand and manage your emotions and thoughts
—Manage yourself and become the person you would like to be

u/monksswimming · 2 pointsr/addiction

I found this book and this concept to be very helpful in explaining to myself what is going on in my brain.


1-Sentence-Summary: The Chimp Paradox uses a simple analogy to help you take control of your emotions and act in your own, best interest, whether it’s in making decisions, communicating with others, or your health and happiness.


Here are 3 lessons that will help you exercise control over your emotions:


  1. There are two competing forces in your brain, so learn to recognize them.

  2. Humans have four modes of communication and knowing which one you’re in will help get your message across.

  3. The chimp’s sneakiest trick is wanting more. Since the chimp always wants more, it can become a fundamental obstacle to your long-term happiness.


    The Chimp Paradox
u/BavidDrent · 2 pointsr/CasualConversation

Thoroughly recommend it. It's not one of those cheesy books that gives you pick up lines and all that superficial nonsense. It digs deeper. Teaches you that rejection is actually your friend, sounds crazy I know!

Another one I'd recommend :

u/Clagent · 2 pointsr/JustUnsubbed

A book that might help you if you have generalized anxiety and panic attacks is Claire Weekes' Hope and Help for Your Nerves. It's an "oldey but a goody." You can also hear Claire Weekes reading an abridged version of the book here (scroll down to "How to Recover from Anxiety." I found her voice incredibly encouraging and caring. It's not soft or soothing, but it's forceful and compassionate, which I like.

u/jessaloo · 2 pointsr/Random_Acts_Of_Amazon

Happy wednesday! Hope everyone has a great day!

QotD: I believe it would be, Hope and Help For Your Nerves it's a good book. After I catch the final Hunger Games movie I can finally read the first book than need to purchase the rest!

u/yodawgg · 2 pointsr/IAmA

Hope and Help for Your Nerves. It's the best book I've ever bought (happened to find out about it here on Reddit too). I've been struggling with intense, general anxiety for my whole life and I've tried everything to cure it... years of psychotherapy, SSRIs, meditation, holistic treatments, ADD-related medications, numerous psychoactive substances... the list goes on and on. Meditation definitely helps a lot, but there's no one thing that will cure panic-related illnesses alone. The road to recovery is a long one, and you can't rely on just one thing to overcome years of sensitization.

u/ConstantStain · 2 pointsr/AskDocs

This book is very old but it has always helped me. I got it when I was your age. I highly recommend it.

u/hoursaid · 2 pointsr/Anxiety

Sure- I found that orderIng CBT and anxiety workbooks helped me a lot. This is actually very easy if you can put down a little money on this. Go to Amazon and simply search the most highly rated books on anxiety and CBT. You can also watch videos on YouTube on CBT and anxiety management.
If that's out of the question right now, just head to your library and check out whatever books you can find on anxiety and CBT. I haven't found a book on anxiety that hasn't helped. This book was the first i read for anxiety and I found it helped me.
From there, keep therapy in mind. I know you aren't quite ready but next time you do feel lost in panic and guilt, please consider giving it a chance. Get those lists of people eligible on hand so making this step is easier when the time comes. Therapists eagerly help people like you and I all day so don't worry about sounding crazy or burdening them. The reality is they are highly trained in helping you. Like our reaching out to you to comment over this Reddit post, they enjoy helping others who suffer from anxiety because they know there are effective ways to get better.
Another reason therapy is important is the need for talk therapy. Being able to just talk about what you manage with someone who wants to listen and help might be huge in your getting better. Holding this stuff in without any genuinely direct sounding boards can increase the severity of the attacks.

u/totemo · 2 pointsr/science

Hmmm. That's an avoidance strategy. You could try looking into Cognitive Behavioural Therapy for your anxiety. There are some fairly approachable books out there if you don't want the expense of a therapist. Being aware of the common cognitive distortions might be helpful, because then you can dispute those by thoughts or actions in contradiction to them.

EDIT: recommended.

u/VirtualProtector · 2 pointsr/Meditation

I recently got Jon Kabat-Zinns Guided Mindfulness Meditation and the first track is a great starter for meditation and might help you get back into it:

When I'm breath counting I find it easier to count from 1 to 4 and repeat.

u/buckmitch20 · 2 pointsr/Anxiety

I have been doing/reading about CBT therapy. It has helped more than any meds I have tried. I have been reading (and re-reading) :

u/mileshigh_23 · 2 pointsr/Anxiety

I get pretty stressed at work too. I remember a few years ago during a particularly stressful period at work, I started getting anxiety/panic attacks out of nowhere. They were absolutely terrifying and made my life a living hell for the month or two I had them.

I highly recommend meditation and "Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction," commonly referred to as "MBSR," for lowering stress. MBSR is a program to help people implement meditation and 'mindfulness' in their lives. Meditation has helped me reach a state of deep relaxation and focus on a daily basis. The benefits of meditating regularly carry on even when you're not meditating. I find myself reacting less to my stress and negative emotions, instead simply observing them. Today, I was feeling stressed and I found myself thinking, "I'm feeling tense, this is interesting. I wonder what exactly is causing all of this muscle tightness." I didn't fight it, I accepted it and observed it with curiosity. You might find some benefit from it too.

u/rcrdlclr · 2 pointsr/psychology

I think in that case the only thing is to practice with a book as a guide. Something like this or this
Of course there are videos on youtube on mindfulness as well, and there's the mindfulness subreddit.
The most important thing with this practice is being consistent, 'just doing it', and being in it for the long haul, and not to get a quick fix. Especially in the beginning you will be doing the practice and not really noticing much of a difference. It takes time for your brain to change.

u/Fat_Uncle · 2 pointsr/Anxiety

You're going to have to trust me on this one. Download At Last a Life by Paul David and read some of it tonight. Great book, and has a chapter specifically on depersonalization as that was a symptom he dealt with a lot. Check my post history and maybe there's more useful info in there.

This book will help, I promise.

u/dreamrabbit · 2 pointsr/Buddhism

Buddhism doesn't really deal with anxiety, though it may have some things to say to it. I would seek help from people and texts that focus explicitly on the subject. A starting point

u/unwashed_masses · 2 pointsr/stopsmoking

Its very focused on smoking. You mention CBT...have you looked into DBT? Something like the following may be better: The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook for Anxiety: Breaking Free from Worry, Panic, PTSD, and Other Anxiety Symptoms Paperback – November 3, 2011
by Alexander L. Chapman PhD RPsych (Author), & 3 more

No harm in trying everything. DBT approach does recommend being in therapy as far as I know. DBT also builds on mindfulness... which I imagine could be an extremely powerful tool for managing anxiety. Mindfulness is best learned with guided meditation.

u/ifoundxaway · 2 pointsr/bipolar

Thanks! I'm really surprised that it even popped into my mind as something I could use. I haven't really thought about DBT seriously and there are no therapists here that teach it. The idea of radical acceptance just came to me as a possible coping method I could use without having to move my body so I figured what the hell, might as well give it a try. I mean, it can't hurt, right? I'm definitely going to do the workbook I have

A friend tells me that DBT has mindfulness in it, I think my meditation practice helped with that. I try to meditate 5 minutes a day at the very least, a couple of times a day, I started doing it last July.

u/callmejay · 2 pointsr/Meditation

Guided Mindfulness Meditation by Jon Kabat-Zinn is pretty good and totally secular.

u/m0n01yth · 2 pointsr/PanicAttack

Mine would happen late at night and I’d only get 2-4hrs of sleep. The first couple times this happened I just pushed through it and eventually stress got to me and I had a mental breakdown. I had other issues happening at the time like my heart would skip while laying down (ended up being diet causing inflamed stomach that pushed a hiatal hernia against my heart causing it to skip). It was a nightmare to try and sleep.

I did a complete 180 of my life. I focused on reducing my stress, stopped eating fast food, sodas, and anything fried. Took a remote job with flexible hours and moved from Ohio to Nashville. Haven’t had one panic attack since changing my routine and eating healthier. I still have anxiety but I can manage it.

But back to the point I would call in maybe twice a month because of panic attack’s.

Buy this book it will change your life. I was able to gain control of my panic attack’s because of it and have a functional life again.

u/gestaltswitch86 · 2 pointsr/CBD

Anytime. Anxiety feeds off of those "what if" thoughts. Honestly, the single best thing I probably did was buy this book and practice the steps it offers for dealing with anxiety. It even addresses exactly the fear that you're bringing up about heart rate and has some good tips for how to think about it, so that you can get back to living.

I did that a lot a while back, and found that checking my pulse (made so easy by my smartwatch) had me thinking about it a lot, and the more attention you pay to it, the more you worry, and the more you worry, the more you increase your anxiety, which causes your heart rate to go up... It's just a horrible, vicious cycle. So whenever I do notice it being fast (because that can be kind of hard to ignore) I just follow the advice in the book and try to remind myself that my heart is an incredibly strong muscle, and it is designed for that and so much more. And, in another context like working out my pulse would hit that or higher, and I wouldn't feel any anxiety about it - because I was trying to get my heart rate up. So whenever I do get those random spikes, or it becomes noticable, I just try to think about the fact that if I were at the gym, I wouldn't think twice about it being at 120, or even 180. Especially because you've ruled out everything else (I did all of that as well - hooray unnecessary EKGs!), then following some steps to frame how you think about and respond to those symptoms might be a good first step for getting out of that vicious cycle.



u/actaeon9 · 2 pointsr/quittingkratom

Have you read this book? I have had tremendous success with it as an audio book version:

If you believe what he is saying it will at least stop a severe one for a period of time, then just rinse, repeat :). Good luck with the w/d... rock this!!!!

u/forgot_how_to_user_n · 2 pointsr/fearofflying

I read this book:

Although it is a self-help book which I generally dislike it helped me a lot!

Some other techniques:

  • I took a pen and paper with me and began to write down EVERYTHING I was thinking. Real stream of consciousness kind of thing. Write down any thought that was coming to mind. Like "Fear. Really affraid right now. Why?? I have always been able to do this. Why now??" and so on. I think it helped me not get caught up into any 1 thought.
  • I just went to a flight attendant and let him know as we were boarding. I would say something like:

    - "I am a affraid of flying. Today I'm feeling good, just wanted to let you know."

    or if I wasn't feeling good, then

    - "I am a affraid of flying. Today I'm not feeling very good, but I think I can handle it."

    They are trained to deal with fear of flying and usually help you with whatever they can. It also made the flight feel a little less impersonal.

  • I took anxiolytics (clonazepam). Xanax should work too. When my panic attacks started I had to take 8 flights in two months. For the first flight I took as many drops as I needed to get me calm (12 drops which is A LOT). You should OBVIOUSLY talk to a doctor about this (which I had done before). Then the next flights I tried to lower it. Maybe 9 for the 2nd flight. Then 8 for the 3rd flight. And so on. Until the last flight I didn't have to take any. I've flown a lot since then and maybe in a 3rd of my flights I still have to take the drops.
  • I didn't travel with anyone besides me because that would have made me more nervous. It depends on the person I think.
  • I also talked a lot about it with close friends. Didn't keep it hidden. And before every flight I would write to my girlfriend and maybe another friend or two. "About to take off. Feeling really scared." Most would just write back: "You can do it. It'll be ok." or something to that effect.

    Feel free to write me a pm. I would be glad to help a fellow passenger! :)
u/PabloDon · 2 pointsr/Anxiety

Check out the book DARE

Basically to sum it up instead of fighting your anxiety and trying to push it away you have to do the opposite. You have to invite it and demand more. So if you are in a situation where you would normally blush what you do is you tell your self bring it on, show me how red you can get and really try to blush.
What you will see is that when you try to blush it's not working but if you try to avoid blushing that's when it happens.

I used to have a lot of issues with blushing but I live a pretty normal life now.

Feel free to send me a pm if you need someone to talk to.

u/PopePaulFarmer · 2 pointsr/asianamerican

There's therapeutical approaches that target people with multicultural backgrounds. If you're really struggling, I'd try to get diagnosed by a psych and then pursue sessions with a therapist who has experience with AAPI clients.

If that's too expensive and not worth your time, either the ACT handbook or the CBT handbook will do in a pinch.

u/Scout_1029 · 2 pointsr/Anxiety

I recently started listening to this CD and using this workbook, its proven to be the most helpful too when I get bouts of anxiety!

u/Ceret · 2 pointsr/Mindfulness

ACT (highly regarded / researched mindfulness based therapy) incorporates a formal way of using mindfulness with anxiety. I can highly recommend this workbook:

It would be a disservice to paraphrase too much, as this is an experiential process, but in essence you are right - 'leaning in' to the feeling rather than avoiding it is key. Note how 'I am feeling anxious' is a statement that might enmesh you with that state. 'I notice that my mind is telling me I am anxious' or the like might be a better observation, as it acknowledges this is a story your mind is telling you because it is trying to be helpful, and you are not your mind. Trying to avoid feeling anxious will lock you in to it. Learning to observe and to move with it, to act in ways you value while your mind is telling you this story, will help you live meaningfully. And anxiety is a spiral - you feel anxious and trapped by feeling anxious etc. Mindfulness can go a long way towards removing that secondary distress, which then has the effect of defusing the primary distress.

For me, I accept that I am an 'anxious person' (and a happy one, and a calm one, and many other things besides), and millions of years of evolution and strong immediate family history and experiences with trauma have wired me that way. From time to time my mind tells me I am anxious. I thank it, and do not attach. And I go about moving towards my values. I believe this is often the goal - one learns to be present with one's experience, to hold a space open for it, without it freezing you up or causing you to negatively self-evaluate r run that story into other stories. It is merely an experience, a thought your mind is having. You do not need to get stuck in it, nor do you need to avoid it.

u/keersten25 · 2 pointsr/bipolar2

zen meditation has helped me a ton.

as /u/BornOn8thOfJuly said, continue to steer clear of the booze. no matter what, if I decide to drink (even just a couple glasses of wine), my anxiety is higher and my mood is lower the next morning. Most of my emotional breakdowns occur after a night of drinking.

I also would highly recommend The Mindfulness and Acceptance Workbook for Anxiety

Best wishes, my friend!

u/subtextual · 2 pointsr/askscience

I'm a serious introvert myself, so this is a topic of some considerable interest to me. :)

Introversion is not necessarily associated with anxiety, in that the traits are not that highly correlated and lots of introverts are not anxious. However, many people who are both introverted and anxious find that the two are intertwined. When that is the case, then getting better at coping with the anxiety can help you be more flexible in being introverted. There are a million self-help anxiety books, and most of them are pretty good because they are based on cognitive-behavioral principles. Personally, however, I am more intrigued by Acceptance and Commitment Therapy ideas, as described in books like Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life, The Happiness Trap, and The Mindfulness and Acceptance Workbook for Anxiety.

While we're on the topic of reading, if you haven't found it already, I'd suggest The Introvert Advantage -- a great book focusing on accepting, accommodating, and even feeling pretty good about your introversion.

Introversion appears to be very genetically-based and resistant to change, so accepting being an introvert will be an important first step. Introversion is not, in and of itself, healthy or unhealthy, although when you are surrounded by extroverts and a culture that values extroversion, it sure can feel like being introverted is unhealthy. IMHO, traits are only a problem when people are inflexible about applying them... that is, when they can only behave one way regardless of the situation. When people are interested in changing who they are, I often suggest, instead, trying to change how flexible they are about how they display the trait they are interested in changing.

To do that, you could think about the situations in which you are less introverted, and trying to figure out what it is about those situations that allow you to be less introverted. For me, I do better in situations that are structured, familiar, and relevant to my interests -- in those types of situations, you literally cannot shut me up. So, I can be more extroverted when I'm with a small group of good friends, or when I'm meeting a new therapy client for the first time (which is structured because I know exactly what I'm going to say), or when I'm commenting on reddit, or even when I'm teaching a large class or giving a talk to a huge audience. In contrast, in a small group of people I do not know well, when meeting a new person socially for the first time, or when doing something spontaneous that would cause a lot of people to pay attention to me (e.g., something terrible like karaoke), I am not able to be extroverted. But, if I wanted to be more extroverted, I could work to make those types of situations more structured, more familiar, or more relevant to my interests. Does that make sense?

Oh, and one more thing -- please join the Neuropsychology Book Club I am trying to start... I'm hoping it will be really interesting, especially for us voracious readers!!

u/DRATM · 2 pointsr/Anxiety

The Mindfulness and Acceptance Workbook for Anxiety

Works on helping you understand and accept anxiety instead of fighting or suppressing it. Worked really well for me.

Edit; the authors have another book along the same lines for depression

u/JessCross · 2 pointsr/IAmA

Breathing exercises are good (you can just type that into YouTube) also progressive relaxation where you tighten certain muscle groups and then relax them. There are lots of cognitive behavioral techniques that are great for reducing worries. I have no affiliations with it but highly recommend this book and it goes over several techniques:

u/natjean · 2 pointsr/Meditation

I found this book insightful, it explains a few different types of meditation, it gives guidance and some work sheets that help reflect and track progress. It also has a bunch of other mental/physical well being guidance.

u/snood4m4 · 2 pointsr/Anxiety

If you look at some of the diagnostic criteria for different phobias or anxieties and things, it seems like there's always a line for "and these thoughts/fears cause the person significant distress." I think it's normal for most people to feel shy and awkward and fear judgement. But, if it's causing you distress or you think that figuring out a way to get past it would significantly improve your life, then it would probably be worth it to talk to the counselor. Some places pro-rate based on income, so it's worth looking into. When I was looking into treatment for a phobia, it seemed like it would cost ~$1000 which seemed like too much. But when I thought about it, I realized that if I could spend $1000 and never have to spend time worrying and feeling sick about it again, that would be the best money I'd ever spent.

So, it's really subjective in the end. If you think about your quality of life right now, is it pretty good or do you think it could significantly improve? If you think it could be a lot better if you no longer had to deal with anxiety, then it's probably worth getting help. The counselor is a good step. My university publishes the statistics for how many people talk to the mental health clinicians at some point and it is a huge proportion of the student body. It's not weird to talk to a counselor and it doesn't mean something is wrong with you, because it's absolutely normal to have at least some period of your life when you're confronted with something challenging.

If you decide that your life could be better if you were able to get over some fears, you should talk to the counselor before worrying about how to manage the treatment costs long-term. Until you start looking into it more, you can't predict how much it will cost. And, even if you do find out later that it's too expensive or the affordable places are inaccessible by public transportation, there are books and online programs that can be useful. I found this one to be useful in the time I was waiting to get an appointment. It gave me some strategies to use in the meantime, and it also meant that once I started seeing a therapist I had a little bit of a head start.

tl;dr You have to just think for yourself about what your fears are costing you and what your life might be like without them. If you think your life would be better without anxiety you should look into treatment because it will be worth it.

u/FidoTheDogFacedBoy · 2 pointsr/TheRedPill

The comprehensive resource is The Relaxation and Stress Management Handbook, put together by doctors from Kaiser Permanente.

I use progressive muscle relaxation to enter a relaxed mental state. Sometimes I also use self-hypnosis for a deeper effect, especially during a panic attack. (I didn't have the patience for yoga, and meditation scripts were too active for my mind to relax, but those might work for someone else.) I do 2 sessions a day of 20 minutes each, more than 20 minutes and you could fall asleep during the session, which is bad. I do one session upon awaking when my body is already very relaxed, and the second at lunch or after. I sit upright and put my feet up (if this fails, I'll get into the autogenics pose, sitting forward, head bowed, arms at sides.) I put on a Brain Sync track like this one. Then I clench my toes for five seconds, then unclench them and force them to relax, until I have them in a fully relaxed state, then I repeat with other muscle groups all the way up. Once my body is relaxed, I try to pick out the deepest note in the music. In an anxiety or panic situation, I'll skip that and run through a self-hypnosis protocol; I use this because the context automatically lightens my mood. The relaxation effect is always stronger when I'm mentally envisioning myself commanding the body parts to relax.

My progression went like this. Initially, I did not even know what relaxation felt like. Progressive muscle relaxation works directly with that, it's a gateway technique to help you master the other ones. Once I got the body relaxed, I had what is called "monkey mind". I would go through my techniques, but my mind would be in full ADHD mode, imagining every possible thing in a mad stream of consciousness. This is not failure, it's actually success- the mind needs to get these off its queue. Eventually the flow became slower and I'd reach a creative state, where I'd have good problem-solving ideas during my session, and I'd have to stop and write them down. But now I've got to a state where the ideas are just mild and I'm disciplined enough to just sort of let them go.

I also use progressive relaxation to fall asleep in bed at night in cases of insomnia.

These techniques should not interfere with anxiety/depression medicine.

To test whether these really work, I trained myself in this protocol over four years while taking various health supplements and being on an allergy-reduction diet. Then I quit everything, and within two and a half years I was in a very terrible state mentally and physically. Since then I resumed the protocol for five years without doing anything else. Based on my health condition and reactions to real world stress, I feel I am now stabler than I have ever been. The only other thing I am doing for my health is taking a daily multi vitamin/mineral pill.

I measure my progress by my reaction to real world events, such as whether I'll grab for the dash when someone else is driving clumsily. There are still things that set me off, I still have room to grow.

u/alpacino19 · 1 pointr/cringe

Agreed. What helps when I have social anxiety (usually around those in authority or who have say-so in hiring decisions), I say to myself "so what?" because your anxiety is essentially telling you "what if?" questions. "What if" they think I'm stupid, what if they think I'm not competent, what if I'm not good enough. Fuck that shit.

Your stutter shouldn't be held against you, but I think that piece on social anxiety single handed gave me the confidence to speak to people in authority without shaking in my boots. It will help.

Also this book by Barry McDonagh. This is taken directly from his material (at least my therapist says so).

u/Overcome_Anxiety_OAR · 1 pointr/Anxiety

This guy has some great episodes, and is a nice dude:

Here is one for managing anxiety attacks specifically:

I also found Claire Weekes's talks to be extremely helpful:

This book is also popular and has helped many people:

It may sound strange but a lot of the suffering comes from resisting the sensations and appraising them as 'bad' and 'dangerous', and being overly fixated and pre-occupied with bodily sensations. For example, you might now be scanning your body frequently looking for more signs that another attack is coming on. This creates more nervous tension which can lead to more anxiety. In my personal experience of recovering from anxiety, I have done best when I've embodied an attitude of 'Bring it on, I can handle whatever is thrown me.'

Let me / us know if you have any questions.

u/icshackleford · 1 pointr/Anxietyhelp

Dare: The New Way to End Anxiety and Stop Panic Attacks

u/riatonmiguelito · 1 pointr/Reformed

I stopped because I wasn't sure the practice was good in the eyes of the Lord, but also I found other ways of coping with it. This book became really useful.

Basically it just says that when you're feeling really anxious just acknowledge it, realize it's not really a big deal and distract your mind with other thoughts. It sounds simple but it's not a very common advice to manage it.

u/Lpk44 · 1 pointr/asmr

Thanks! I'm watching it right now.

i've started reading this book recently which has helped me a lot lately. not sure if you have any interest in it but maybe some others could.

u/WaterLily66 · 1 pointr/decaf

Hey! It sounds like you might be dealing with a self perpetuating anxiety cycle. It might have been triggered by quitting, or might have just been from the panic attack. Getting panic attacks often leaves the body in high alert indefinitely, like a fire that keeps burning as long as it gets oxygen. There are communities and resources of other people dealing with it, and it’s treatable!

The most clinically proven treatment is CBT. Check out Mastery of Your Anxiety and Worry (
A clinical psychotherapist highly recommended it to me.

I’m also interested in this book(

I also quit caffeine after a panic attack, and I think the panic attack has even more severe after effects than quitting the caffeine, and that quitting caffeine causes symptoms that can lead to anxiety. It’s a cycle, but your on the way to breaking it!

u/birddawg913 · 1 pointr/Anxiety

There are ways to combat anxiety. I use to have severe anxiety and now it's just mild. CBD Hemp oil (if legal in your state) ,ashwagandha, magnesium chloride flakes, and essential oils are all excellent choices. Also get this book

u/FE4RCHAMP · 1 pointr/depression_help

Ever heard of Bryan Cranston ? He was 44 when he started Malcom in the middle, then went on to do Breaking Bad which we all love , and now more and more movies

This is easy, find comedy club sign up. No one has ever said “I regret trying to hard for my dream” . Will Smith was a rapper and some random person at a party told him about Fresh Prince.

Some self help: Dare: The New Way to End Anxiety and Stop Panic Attacks

Good line I like is “See your problems for what they are not for what you think they are” people now aday live to 100 . You’re not even half way there. Good you recognize the problem . Get up and get moving. You are your best motivator (and procrastinator if you allow)

u/soaringnflyin · 1 pointr/Residency

Honestly, read the book DARE. It will work wonders. I read it and implemented its strategies and my panic attacks have literally faded within weeks. I can now do pt presentations with a poise I never had before. It's incredible! The thing is this: you are more anxious about your symptoms (cramps, palpitations, etc) than what you think you're anxious about (work related matters).


u/jaromdl · 1 pointr/Anxiety

I read this book recently. It was very helpful.

u/wagamo · 1 pointr/leaves

Don't panic, this is normal. These are actually symptoms of anxiety and small panic attacks that occur. Give this a read:
Dare: The New Way to End Anxiety and Stop Panic Attacks (

It helped me understand what was happening to me and how to actually heal from it. Best 15 bucks ever spent.

u/hellohydration · 1 pointr/Anxiety

This is a popular one, and I've started reading it. Easy read and straight to the point.

u/WholesomeAsFck · 1 pointr/panicdisorder

Have you read “Dare”?

Dare: The New Way to End Anxiety and Stop Panic Attacks

I think Audible has a sale right now so you can get three months at $8 so you can get the audiobook version. It has helped me tremendously and from what I read it sounds like it could help you, too.

u/PenSurfer · 1 pointr/Anxiety

Yes, he needs a professional opinion.

According to your post, I can see you really do care and want to help, which is a big step to recovery. It is a long process, so please do not give up on him.

I would suggest read as much literature about anxiety as you can. Why? People who never experienced any panic attacks and anxiety will never comprehend what's it like. He has you, that means you are not judgemental towards his issue, which is a big deal. Don't let him crawl into himself. It will be hard on you, but please don't give up.

It is easier in two, a lot of encouragement, talking about it helps a lot. You both must find which are his fears and slowly go through them together, behavioral therapy will do wonders. He needs to face his fears, there's no other way around it. Keep in mind that it will never go away, it will always be present. Sometimes more, sometimes less, but the good thing about it is that he can learn how to deal with it and eventually it will become a second nature in his thoughts. At the end, anxiety is only a nervous arousal, bodily sensation. He must learn to get comfortable in anxious discomfort.

Important thing is to set rules for everything; life, talks, anxiety, therapy etc... Without rules he'll be in the same spot all the time, not willing to try anything, not moving forward. Rules will make him do it and eventually he'll turn the switch. He needs to acknowledge and accept it, and work work work on it.


Search for:

Dare: The New Way to End Anxiety and Stop Panic Attacks, The Linden Method and Mel Robbins' The 5 Second Rule.

Now, there are even more literature with different approaches, for some people neither of it works. It didn't work for me either, because I was looking for one single fast solution. It didn't work because I didn't know how to tailor it for myself, I just didn't realize it. You need to look at the formula(s) and tailor their methods to suit yourself. Experiment with it.


I'll give you some of my examples:


#1 Dare example

Defuse = What ifs? So what!! Whatever!! Who gives a fuck.

Allow it = I accept and allow this anxious feeling! Embrace it, welcome it, don't resist, smile at it, be curious ...

Run Toward = Feel excited about your anxious thoughts or feelings.

Engage = Occupy yourself with an activity that engages your mind. Don't be idle in your mind.

FORMULA: "Whatever!! I accept and allow this anxious feeling. I'm excited by it as I engage with what's in front of me."

This is the formula, tailor it for yourself.

Sometimes if I sense it creeping up in my thoughts, I will just roughly (D) defuse it with "Fuck off!" or something similar and (E) engage to an activity. You can see, I have used only D and E, from the formula. Use bits and pieces, adding or subtracting if needed, whatever suits you. Sometimes I will use the entire formula, it depends how hard it is.


#2 Five sec example

I also use The 5 Second Rule. I would close my eyes, take a deep breath and count slowly 5 ... 4 ... 3 ... 2 ... 1 and I will repeat "I'm excited, not afraid, I'm excited not afraid, I'm excited not afraid ..." while thinking some positive thoughts. Afterwards, I engage with what's in front of me.


#3 Song example

I love the song by Florence + The Machine - Spectrum, it always makes me happy. So sometimes I will sing this verse in my head:

Say my name (Fear, Anxiety, Depression etc...)

And every color illuminates (Positive vibes)

We are shining (I am better then this)

And we will never be afraid again (Embracing, allowing, going away)"


You see, you need to find what suits you, tailor it for yourself. Of course, this is a long process, but it works if you are willing to grind for it.


Lastly, I don't know what is your lifestyle, but all kinds of issues including anxiety can be related with bad gut microbiome and inflammations in your system. Try to eat clean whole foods, cut all the bad habits. Even if it doesn't do anything, you'll feel healthier after all. Oh and exercise will do wonders, as well. You need to be consistent with it.


Hope this helps!


u/meltusmaximus · 1 pointr/Anxiety

Do yourself a favor and get the D.A.R.E response book by Barry McDonaugh.... and STOP MESSING WITH BENZOS... Its a trap, and I have been off Klonopin and Ambien for 3 years. Withdrawl was absolute hell... a truly harrowing experience. In the end, it will stop working and you will run out early. This book saved me from the gallows.



Best wishes.

u/HonestyFlaw · 1 pointr/Anxiety

There's a Yahoo group for it. And for what it's worth, the ACT workbook I used isn't too high priced and is worth the purchase. I feel similarly to panicmonkey about CBT and ACT is the only thing that helped me to get better, even if I've struggled to keep it up over time.

u/SheGlitch · 1 pointr/Anxiety

Hang in there. If you're dead -- you're, well -- dead. I'm sure you have a lot worth fighting for. Look into Acceptance and Commitment Therapy for anxiety. Check out this book, I recently picked it up, and I find this approach to be refreshing.

I don't really have any advice, but what you describe sounds eerily similar to me when I was in high school. My anxiety is much less debilitating now (I'm 23) but it is still very prevalent in my life. If you want someone to talk to, I'm totally down.

u/Zombie_Unicorn · 1 pointr/emetophobia

I've been really busy lately and haven't been able to make much progress with it, but I was really benefitting from this workbook:

Go to the nearest bookstore and see if you can find it or a different one that sounds good to you. It's not the same as therapy obviously, as something that's kind of tailored for you specifically, but I think you may find some relief in working through a workbook like this. I was also able to find a free drop-in place for councilling here in Canada, not sure if they have anything like that where you are, but do look.

I can't say anything that can make this better for you, but I understand your fear and frustration; we all do. Take it one day at a time. Drink lots of water throughout the day and chamomile tea when you're starting to feel anxious. This will get better.

u/aypapisita · 1 pointr/Hypothyroidism

I'm sorry you're feeling so awful. Even without medical anxiety, it was all pretty overwhelming and scary at first. I had to give myself breaks from all the research I was doing. I even saw a psychologist for a few months to help me figure out how to deal with the anxiety caused by my thyroid issues. If you're interested, one of the books I read is called The Mindfulness and Acceptance Workbook for Anxiety.

Also, if you're on Facebook come join us in a group called Hashimoto Happiness! The only rule is your post has to be positive because it is meant to be a break from all the worry and crappy feelings we deal with everyday. I don't share much but it's a nice pick-me-up!

u/Jung_Groucho · 1 pointr/psychotherapy

Panic disorder is, at its core, an anxiety disorder.

There's a million books out there on anxiety.

When I'm learning skills, I like to use client workbooks because they help me focus on the direct skills I need to learn.

I'd invite you to explore an ACT workbook like:


u/T1_Thotseize · 1 pointr/lifehacks

This is basically practicing mindfulness.

Be present in yourself and just observe.

I bought this book cuz my therapist told me to:

I didn’t even finish it and my anxiety changed for the better in only a couple weeks. I’ll always recommend it.

u/cactus1134 · 1 pointr/IAmA

Hey man, I feel ya. I'm just wondering if you've thought about "Mindfulness and Acceptance" therapy (see this book: Its been the best approach for me in dealing with my anxiety, and I just read the book - no therapist.

u/_Bison_ · 1 pointr/Meditation

Yes. I haven't had the experience of working through it with a therapist, but this workbook helped me a lot, in terms of introducing me to meditation in a way that was productive for dealing with anxiety:

u/dunimal · 1 pointr/atheism

Can you purchase things for yourself? Without monitoring by them at all? If so, I would advise you to purchase a workbook called the This is a book of exercises that you do every day, thought experiments, mindfulness exercises, writing exercises to help you learn how to identify anxiety triggers, and how to control how you think and react to them. REALLY, really helpful. Under $20. It can help a lot. I hope this can help a bit, too. It's free. :)

u/ricesock · 1 pointr/Anxiety

He definitely has spells where he'll go a period of time with little to no anxiety, and seemingly out of no where it'll come back. Sometimes him just sitting next to me just BEING anxious makes me feel uneasy so he'll go into the bedroom, lie down and just do some deep breathing to calm down. We bought him this workbook so he has something to learn/focus on while he's anxious. When his anxiety was really bad he devoted an hour a day to this workbook. Being proactive about trying to calm down always makes both of us feel better.

u/deedeethecat · 1 pointr/stopdrinking

I bought this book years ago and really like it.

I also bought a book called meditation for dummies and it had great meditations that were super easy.

u/dont_ordain_this_man · 1 pointr/Christianity

Formal relaxation methods are recommended by the doctors of Kaiser Permanente in The Relaxation and Stress Reduction Workbook, which has decades of research into these problems.

Been using these methods for years and I'm getting better all the time, and the methods don't interfere with medication. This is not mere positive thinking, I am just unsure what to call it.

Anxiety is the symptom that occurs when exercise is indicated- the body is trying to get you to take physical action to address the fight-or-flight stimulus. When you come off the adrenaline rush, you crash, forcing you into a deeply relaxed state of one type or another. Depression indicates that the body doesn't feel that the time is right for exercise (such as when you are physically sick) but that you still need to obtain a "mental reset".

u/mjgialanella · 1 pointr/raleigh

[Dr. Reid Wilson] ( He's in Chapel Hill. One of the most respected specialists in the US. He's written several books including [Don't Panic] (

u/certainly_doubting · 1 pointr/ROCD

Copy-paste form my previous thread so it doesn’t go missing:

Here are some resources that I think are essential reads for anyone suffering from ROCD and/or depression

ROCD: Relationship OCD and the Myth of "The One" - Great writeup written by therapists who are specialized in treating ROCD

Love You, Love You Not - Excellent ROCD 101 short book targeted towards people who have ROCD. It's very insightful as it is written by someone who has dealt with it and learned to successfully manage it. I just re-read it recently while going through a relapse, and it punched me with even more power than the first time

Imp of the Mind - Although it does not talk about ROCD specifically, it is all about Pure O. It helped me to look at ROCD and other intrusive thoughts in my head from another perspective. Some of the cases in the book are bizarre and funny, which made me feel like i don't have it so bad

Brain Lock - This should be part of anyone's OCD treatment swiss-army knife!

The Noonday Demon - If you struggle with major depression, as I do, this is dense but an incredible read. The author has a TED talk that is really good: Depression: The Secret We Share

Don't Panic - This one borders more on self-help books, which I kinda don't like, but a must-read if you struggle with panic disorder

u/WokeUp2 · 1 pointr/Advice

Diligently work through Reid Wilson's short book Don't Panic Third Edition: Taking Control of Anxiety Attacks. You will likely learn to minimize the severity of panic attacks. Having a tranquillizer available to put under your tongue will minimize worries that feed anxiety.

u/scott_pennsylvania · 1 pointr/books

Don't Panic Third Edition: Taking Control of Anxiety Attacks, by Reid Wilson, PhD.

Wilson is Director of The Anxiety Disorders Treatment Center, Chapel Hill and Durham, North Carolina.

The book has helped me a lot. Besides the exercises, or self-interventions, it was also quite heartening to read some of the case studies, as they read just like my life. If you'd changed the names, some of the cases described me perfectly. That made me feel better because I knew I wasn't alone. Others were feeling exactly what I was.

If you're concerned about giving the author money, buy it used. There are some for less than three dollars.

Reading novels is also good. One thing a therapist told me is that it's very helpful to distract yourself from your problems sometimes. It's wearying to just be with them all day long.

Good luck and good health.

u/MossyMemory · 1 pointr/AskReddit

Do you mind self-help books? Because this one has been on my shelf for a while and it's quite helpful.

u/TallyMay · 1 pointr/NoFap

If you want to explore it more and learn about balancing that part of yourself with other parts, read this book

The Chimp Paradox: The Mind Management Programme to Help You Achieve Success, Confidence and Happiness Paperback – 5 Jan 2012
by Prof Steve Peters (Author)

I won't give any more motivations, comments here should be enough

u/zoooface · 1 pointr/ADHD

The almost euphoric experience was interpreted by OP to be that his Mother had chosen to believe the lie about any productive progress to complete the goal of "reaserched, drafted, checked, finished, re-checked gammer and spelling, and handed-in assignment paper by a certain set date".

I believe that recalled memories by people with ADD, like myself, of frankly awful moments and times whereby I have been stumped and flumuxed by prior tasks occur with greater ease than any fantastic positive memories of any prior goals. I became overwhelmed with simple tasks, that the only way to complete productive tasks is to be in a state of fear and anxiety with an almost unmeatable deadline.

Also, when my mind has an ideal version of the final perfect document and I can't plan on how to achieve it, I switch to not doing anything; it's not worth the mental anguish.

This felt papaple relief was that OP with an ADD brain had not been forced by a trusted loved one to have to explain and justify his perceived fear of doing, offer bizarre and very boring tasks, that nurotypical people seem to complete with ease. For example:

  • try all cushions to make seat comfy again.
  • what was that noise outside ... it remind of that time on the beach with ... ohh forgot her name, let's check Facebook...
  • my left armpit smells, I must have forgot to put deodorant on it, I need another shower and clean T-shirt, oh no...need to do washing.
  • etc.

    This is all before a PC has been switched on, and half of day gone !!

    The fear of doing something constructive for OPs future, like completion of all tasks required to finish assignment in time, outweighed the need to confront the complex reasons for a mindset laced with these complex fears.

    The very complex mindset, laced with fear, of OP, in effect, lied its own self. Whereby, any future costs to lost of trust within the inter-personal relationship with Mother was less than having to confront the fear mindset that has to date seemingly hobbled OP.

    I would argue, that the lie was not actually to Mother, but, as the cost was to great to confront own fear mindset, was direct lie to OP's own self !! The euphoria experience was because OP had not had to confront complex fears of angush and failure; not because Mother believed OP story.

    This situation is a complex version of Loss Aversion.

    From wiki(Loss Aversion): Note that whether a transaction is framed as a loss or as a gain is very important to this calculation: would you rather get a $5 discount, or avoid a $5 surcharge? The same change in price framed differently has a significant effect on consumer behavior.

    I have recently graduated with a PhD and have battled, mostly unrecognised, with ADD my entire life.

    One strategy to overcome the first rush to negative memories is it to surround your work environment with bright fun physical evidence of prior completed goals. Mount those returned papers, whatever the grade they were still completed, and photos of you achieving daring adventures.

    Also, I can not more highly recommend this book:

    The Chimp Paradox: The Mind Management Programme to Help You Achieve Success, Confidence and Happiness
u/Clive_Pringles_Head · 1 pointr/loseit

I have an insane sugar/fat addiction (especially chocolate) and I believe that if I would give it up for good, I could theoretically be supermodel skinny! I did temporarily give it up for 2/3 months as I had a wedding to go to as an incentive, but soon afterwards I fell off the wagon and began binging on it.

Anyway, I'm reading The Chimp Paradox at the moment, which basically helps you to deal with that uncontrollable/emotional part of your brain that doesn't think logically. I'm hopeful that this may help me battle my sugar demon in the new year, so it's worth a look.

u/crazyunicorntamer · 1 pointr/DeadBedrooms

It’s a really good read to understand how your brain works and what causes you to have emotional reactions and the way you think and it’s in a simplified manner too so even a biff like me can understand it!

u/IneptSamurai · 1 pointr/explainlikeimfive

The Chimp Paradox has a great way of explaining this feeling. I'd recommend simply because it's written in a way that's easy to understand (as I often find myself getting bored and sidetracked in a book with fancy neuro-jargon I don't understand due to my lack of a degree in brain science) but it also doesn't dumb it down and treat you like a child.

u/Say_Nowt · 1 pointr/IWantToLearn

I have the same problem as you. I'm currently reading a book called The Chimp Paradox and it really seems as though it could help me. Give it a try!

u/Manson_Girl · 1 pointr/booksuggestions
u/thatg33kgirl · 1 pointr/Endo

Oh man, that makes me super nervous about my next cycle! I'm on Cymbalta which helps a ton for fibro, but my docs refuse to prescribe any narcotics. So if its bad (which I'm afraid it will be) I'm going to have to hope the Tramadol will handle it.

I actually have a friend who has fibro and a lot of hormone issues (not Endo or PCOS like I have, but her cycles are awful too) and said reading this book explained a lot about how her hormones might be messing with or causing her Fibro. She can't take Cymbalta or Lyrica (or the Gabawhatever other one) because of bad side effects so she's trying to do more homeopathic treatments and its working well for her. Anyways, I haven't read it yet but might be something to look into. Also, there is a suspicion that a lot of fibro might be caused by progesterone, but I'd recommend doing some research and reading things like this before trying anything on your own!

u/lucyfordforever · 1 pointr/Supplements

Sooo I'll preface this by saying that I shamelessly crib my vitamin/supplement regimen from my mom, and do little-to-none of the reading she suggests. But, as someone prone to anxiety & depression who (due to a separate chronic health condition) can't do prescription psychotropics, she's pretty exhaustively well-informed. Based on what I've retained of her advice, here are some additional mood impacters you might wanna look into:

-Ashwaganda: Taken at night. I didn't feel it did much for me, but my mom swears by it.

-GABA: Here's a specific lozenge formulation that I really like for acute anxiety. It also has L-Tyrosine, which I've never taken separately, but she does.

-L-Theanine: Taken in the morning, as like D3 it boosts energy. I do find it makes a difference for me.

-L-Tryptophan: Huge upgrade over melatonin for both of us. Melatonin gives me sleep paralysis, weird dreams and a sort of druggy hangover afterwards. Tryptophan has none of those downsides (tho of course YMMV) and has a mildly positive effect on my mood/general sense of wellbeing the following day.



-St. John's Wort can work wonders but be very cautious with it. Basically research, introduce and monitor it with the care you would a new prescription medication.

There's a book you might find helpful called The Mood Cure that discusses all of this in depth. Have I read more than 10-20 pages of it? No. But IIRC those 10-20 pages were pretty user-friendly and my mother the expert consistently refers back to it, so I'm recommending it anyway. Good luck!

Edit: Wort not wart.

u/Alexandrarandra · 1 pointr/askwomenadvice

I had TERRIBLE PMDD. You described exactly how I was 3 weeks out of every month. The pill helped the cramping, but ultimately I think it caused the PMDD by screwing up my hormonal cycle. I now work with a neurochemical nutritional therapist, who has been a LIFESAVER (literally, cuz I was suicidal). She's put me on a diet of 120g protein per day, progesterone cream 15 days before my period to help hormone levels, and about $70/month worth of herbal/vitamin/mineral supplements. I HAPPILY spend the money because it helps so noticeably. I still have more "ups and downs" about a week before my period (like, my dog being super cute might make me slightly teary in joy), but no more suicidal/depressive thoughts.

There's a book on it (LINK TO THE MOOD CURE on amazon), but I found that I couldn't figure it out on my own with the book. The therapist did a series of quick tests and took quick action that made me feel WAY better.

Good luck. I know what you're going through is brutal. You're gonna get through this.

u/nevernomorefap · 1 pointr/NoFap

Could try 5htp - I take a boatload of supplements that is one of them it helps with all the post PMO feels. My supplement therapy is taken from a book called The Mood Cure. It might help

u/drdisco · 1 pointr/triangle

Exercise and sunlight can work wonders! (And Vitamin D if you can't get outside.)

OP, you may want to check out 'The Mood Cure' by Julia Ross. Excellent advice regarding neurotransmitter imbalances and how these can be corrected through diet and simple amino acid supplements. Sometimes it really is just about chemistry.

Good luck!

u/SuperDuperLily · 1 pointr/depression

I give this advice with this caution- I have depression, not anxiety, and I'm not completely "healed" and I would say my depression is moderate to severe. Although the book I'm going to recommend does say it has suggestions for anxiety, I myself cannot attest to the effectiveness of those suggestions.

Try looking into the book The Mood Cure. It has some information about changing your diet and using amino acid supplements instead of western drugs.

I took Zoloft for about 9 months. I did just Zoloft and counseling for six months, then a friend recommended this book. I started changing my diet (I eat a lot of turkey sandwiches and other mood power foods when I feel myself getting dark) and adding supplements slowly in. I had to go on antibiotics about 3 months later (so when I hit month 9 of Zoloft) and decided to go off the meds and rely on the counseling, diet, supplements and exercise as treatment. It's been six months now and I'm doing well.

But, like anything else, it took adjusting. The first few months I wasn't always aware when a dark spell was coming, so I did have a few depressive spells. Because my spells tend to be lethargic, maybe a lot more time in bed, but I'm not suicidal and am relatively functional, it was a risk I could afford. The last three months I've really found myself catching my triggers and treating myself with diet or exercise changes, or a supplement like GABA or 5-HTP when I feel like I need a bit more help.

I didn't have a problem with Zoloft- I wanted off of it because I gained 20 pounds while on it. And I'm trying to just "reset" my body. So, I think it's worth a read to at least see if it might work for you. As with anything, there are a lot of lofty claims in the book, take it with a grain of salt. But, for me, because I kept up with the counseling, both individual and group, worked some CBT, made daily exercise my prescription and work toward changing my diet- this book helped in compliment of all those other things. I would never suggest someone use the book as their only source, though.

u/TripChaos · 1 pointr/subnautica

There's a lot of great writing on it, off the top of my head the easiest read I'd recommend is titled The Unthinkable.

TL:DR; freeze/lockup is a sort of overload of new experiences. Only when something recognizes that it's life or death, but something else happens and just zombifies them. Taking action is infinitely harder to pin down, but rooted in leadership/independence and being able to focus on the familiar/ignore the full scope of the disaster to avoid lockup.
My best interpretation on why it's unreasonably easy for humans to just sit still and let themselves die is because of how social we are from an evolutionary standpoint. As a group, it's massively beneficial for 90% to just blank out if the other 10% can stand up and shout "This way!" to keep them from going toward the danger. Doesn't work so well in today's world, as much because the guy running for the exit doesn't think to give orders as it is everyone else being conditioned to be passive.


There's a lot more on more generic emergency moments than the physical/fight stuff. Why people fail to even pick fight or flight is commonly the topic. The thing I've mentioned is closer to choosing fight, but doing a piss-poor job of it. Sort of like the fight response being broken.

u/funkymunniez · 1 pointr/Portland

Moving sale! Got fired from my job and now I'm going back home so I have a lot of odds and end type shit and some furniture I want to get rid of. Prices are fixed, but only because I'm already lowballing everything because I just want to get rid of it. I'll post pictures of the actual item based on interest.

Things I'm offloading right now:

edit: New Stuff!!

  • Assorted beer glasses - two tall pilsner glasses (22 oz) (has a logo like this on the glass), small 3 oz taster glasses (3) one from Sam Adams, one from Wachusetts Brewery, one from the Copenhagen Beer Festival - Pilsners are $2/each and tasters are $2 for all three.

  • Assorted wine glasses (3) - $1/each

  • Digital Food scale - $2

  • This type of waffle maker. I think it's a black and decker, just all black colored, entirely plastic. Used but in great condition. - $5

  • Orange Safety Vest - $2

  • Two paper coveralls (Tyveks) - $2 for the pair

  • Orange work gloves. They're insulated a bit so they'll keep your hands warm and have a rubber palm/finger grip.

  • Hand warmers...I have 4 or 5 packs. - $1 a pack

  • Vacuum cleaner. So it's seen better days but it still gets the job done. Canister style vacuum, has primary floor attachment with a beater brush, solid floor attachment, wand attachment (the narrow high suction thing for getting under tight spaces), a bristle brush, and a smaller upholstery attachment with a beater brush built in for doing things like couches, cars, etc. There is something wrong with the connection between the primary floor attachment and the handle because recently it only operates the beater brush when the handle is turned at an angle. Like I said, it's seen better days, but it still works fine and would be a great vacuum for a shop or secondary thing to clean places that are typically dirty. Whole thing is $5 + some bags. Maybe you can fix it :)

  • 1.5ish ft by 2ish ft rubber entry mat. Used it to change my shoes after a muddy hike without trying to balance around and getting my feet wet or dirty. Take a hose to it and everything cleans right off. - $1

  • This Floor lamp - $5. Add $1 and you get bulbs!

  • These tire chains. New, never used (still sitting in the box amazon sent it in unopened), model QG1142. Bought it to fit a 2008 Honda CRV stock tires. And these rubber tighteners. Also brand new, still sealed in packaging unused. They go together, $20 for both.

  • This Leaf Antenna. Bought it in January, it's been sitting next to my TV. Delivers crystal clear, uncompressed broadcast channels. I used it to watch football for a month and get the morning news, works perfectly here in the city. I'm leaving a F/F coax connector with it so if you want to run a longer cable, you can. $5

  • FitBit HR Charge (original). Color is black. I have two of them and three charging cables. $20 each + charging cable.

  • This silverware tray. Fits in a standard sized drawer and has an expandable slot. $5

  • Brand new black and decker iron. Still in box. $5

  • Black and Decker toaster oven. Like new, been using it for 3 months to make small batch cookies, toast sandwiches, cook biscuits, and heat up food. I think this is the model, if not exact it's near identical. Has all pans and racks, black. Goes up to 450F. $10 Sale pending

  • This paper towel holder. $3

  • This table from Fred Meyer. Still brand new, sealed in box. Never had a chance to set it up. $75

  • A 3 foot, True Temper square shovel. Almost new, used it for work a few times. Only a couple months old. Looks kinda like this shovel. but not quite the same. Black grips instead of red. $10 Sale pending

  • ID badge holder. Holder also prevents proximity based copying...or something like that. It was given to me when I worked for the gov several years back, I don't know. $1

  • Two boxes of nitrile rubber gloves. Large and XL. Used maybe 3 pairs of XL but both are opened. $4 for both boxes. Sale pending

  • Stack of white envelopes. Idk...write me a poem.

  • Knife block. Your basic multipiece knife block. Steak knives, chef knife, carving knife, etc. Also comes with some kitchen utensils like a large plastic spoon, a spatula (I think) and a few other odds and ends. It's one set - $5.

  • These bottles of Nikwax waterproof restoration stuff. Never used, $5.

  • This napkin holder. New. Been sitting on my table for a month holding napkins. $5

  • A copy of the Kite Runner. Used, but little wear and tear. $1

  • The Unthinkable. $1. Sale pending

  • Zombie Survival Guide. 1 poem.

  • ATT cordless handset phones. Two handsets. One main docking station that has a voice mail built in and a secondary dock for the other handset. Still have the manuals too. $5

  • I have two stethoscopes. They're in pretty good condition, one never been used, the other was used last years ago and only for a brief period. Both in good condition. $10 for the pair.

  • Metal measuring spoons and measuring cups - $5

  • This TV stand. Color black. Surprisingly well built for "cheap" furniture. I have one back where I'm moving and it's held up great for 5 years. $75

  • Coffee Maker. I think it makes 4 cups, I'll have to check. It's a small one that I basically had for guests as I don't drink coffee. - $5 sale pending
u/Ditch_Doc_911 · 1 pointr/martialarts

The Unthinkable. Really great read for anyone. My on the job experiences as a medic fully bears this book out.

u/Avarith · 1 pointr/Economics

Amanda Ripley's book talks about surviving disasters--including man-made ones like "crowd crush". There's lots of stuff in here about the psychology and simple physics of crowds. And, for those of us that like to think humanity is generally good, there's a whole chapter on heroism. It's worth a look.

u/InfeStationAgent · 1 pointr/tinnitus

I'm sorry you're going through this. I have visual snow and tinnitus that ranges from meh to paralyzing. I was suicidal for a few years. And then I switched to thinking "suicide is an option" and started talking about it.

Sounds about like where you are? So, we're basically in a similar place. Yay us.

I don't think about things like "this might get better" or "it might be worth it to hold on." I think about it like "now I eat lunch, turn on music" and "pack the slightly embarrassing way to have noise even in nature."

I finished college with it. I dated with it. I got married. I can hold down a job with it. It's really only problematic when I obsess about it.

You'll get plenty of book recommendations. This is the one that helps me, Full Catastrophe Living:

Hoping the best for you.

u/workinharderthistime · 1 pointr/NoFap

I was in the same place as you. If you're serious about learning, you should really check out Jon Kabat-Zinn.

This book (and the meditation CDs that go along with it) changed my life:

You can learn more about his approach at his website:

No bullshit here. No magical thinking. No appeals to religion (though Buddhism has a lot to teach us about mindfulness). Really, check it out. Meditation doesn't have to be mysterious.

u/nashife · 1 pointr/LifeProTips

In my area, there are Mindfulness classes that use a curriculum based on this textbook called "Full Catastrophe Living"

The book is fairly inexpensive and it is very comprehensive. It goes into the science and the history of Mindfulness in addition to having exercises and activities and meditations to do.

I've also heard good things about the Mindfulness For Beginners book here:

u/surrakdragonclaw · 1 pointr/ChronicPain

It sounds to me like you have a lot to deal with, which sucks, but a bunch of things you can work on, which means you can probably improve a lot of things about your situation.

Therapy was very helpful to me at a few critical points, but finding the right person and cultivating a helpful relationship was time-consuming and difficult.

I see my chronic problems as a daily challenge, so I live on a daily schedule. Good diet, meditation, lots of stretching, and lots of audio therapy for my tinnitus (which is a bigger problem for me than pain; thankfully my pain issues are not debilitating, the tinnitus can be -- though when it's severe it's like a piercing fire alarm and is physically painful).

Abusing narcotics recreationally can be "fine", but that's a big red flag in general about someone's lifestyle. Stealing drugs from someone you're supposed to love and respect is also a huge red flag. How old are you? This is sort of high-school drama stuff all around.

If you're open to actually making deep structural changes to your life, then pretty much any crappy self-help book will be fine (though I would say start here, personally: if you can't afford this but promise to actually put in the time to read it, I will mail you a copy, PM me).

Any kind of "self help" program is simple but very difficult. You've got to be ready to dig deep, challenge your assumptions about who you are, and try to change what's changeable and live with the rest. It's a tall order. It's much easier to have good intentions than follow-through and end up with a wall full of self-help books (hence my willingness to mail you one)

u/anuvaishu · 1 pointr/Meditation

I am on the same boat as you, additionally I have "headaches” :-). I went to a CBT counselling etc. They were little helpful. I am doing meditation from past 3 months on and off and its helping a bit.
One of my biggest problem is "headache". My symptoms starts with racing thoughts, anxiety feeling and then a full blown headache. After that I continue worry about my headache/pain for weeks.

Recently I read this wonderful book : and changed my opinion on my headache pain and anxiety symptoms.

This particular quoted changed my way of thinking about pain/thoughts/sensations

"if the pain or uncomfortable sensations are already there, “it is already there", denying/rejecting them will make you more suffer, if it is already there welcome/accept it"
Once I accept my pain and anxiety I am feeling a lot better because “thoughts” about them completely gone. I am still getting anxiety symptoms and headaches but I am not worrying anymore about them and they will go away after few hours unlike days previously.

u/BipolarTypeOne · 1 pointr/Velo

There are a blizzard of meditative techniques and guides to consider. I tried one in great detail (1) and am considering resuming it in part to improve this problem. It is essentially a close variant of a better known older guide (2).

The guy who developed these meditation techniques for western therapeutic application, Jon Kabat-Zinn, started with Olympic athletes and visualization in the 1970s. I was first introduced to it as an athlete in the 1980s. Ignore the titles. the exercises are the same whatever you seek to accomplish. The meditations help unlock parts of your mind that you don't directly control and free them to solve problems. These skills and the focus you can develop will aid you in absolutely everything you do. Daily practice of 25min a day over 8 weeks has been shown to change both brain function and even physical structure in both novices and experts (no ashram required all can benefit quickly).

It is not a religion. It won't try to sell you on anything. It will seem odd, but if you do it daily you will get valuable results. (They may be realizations regarding anything, so keep an open mind.) if all this sounds too flakey or new age for you, consider that the muscles we hope to better control are involuntary. The study showing the link between meditation and physical brain changes was so groundbreaking it made the cover of the NYT and the researchers won a prize. The studies are out there.

It is the cheapest therapy you will have tried to help with this problem. From my experience, I would expect it to improve awareness of muscle state and activity, from there, you could train yourself to relax the muscles. To build strength, physical exercises will be needed.

u/eddzr717 · 1 pointr/Meditation

If that's the approach you prefer (it's mine too) he's right up your alley.

  • Wherever You Go, There You Are is a favorite of mine.
  • Full Catastrophe Living was sort of his breakout book. It mostly focuses on meditation for pain management and stress reduction.
  • His guided meditations have also been released in app form

    I also think AudioDharma is a really good resource. Although they have a Buddhist tinge to their stuff, it's mild and easy to ignore. They certainly don't force it in any of their materials that I've read/heard.
u/oneniteinbangkok · 1 pointr/stopdrinking

I broke my back many years ago and have some disc issues but nothing like what you've been through. When the pain was bad, I'd just drink until I passed out. It worked, but was temporary.

I read a book by Jon Kabat-Zinn a few years ago that has helped me deal with the emotional aspects. My mother has numerous health issues and she is a fan of this book also.

Sometimes, trying to relax and meditate will help alleviate some of the stress of enduring the physical pain. It's a form or gentle acceptance to the things we can't change right now.

Sorry I can't offer more.

u/jgi · 1 pointr/DecidingToBeBetter

Read "The Chimp Paradox" and start frequenting /r/stoicism.

u/Ninja_Hedgehog · 1 pointr/explainlikeimfive

This reminds me of a book called The Chimp Paradox. Similar central concept as in Thinking Fast and Slow, by the sounds of it.

u/Worsel77 · 1 pointr/stopdrinking

funny you should pick a monkey. there is a book called, 'the chimp paradox' that uses a chimp to represent the reactionary, emotional side of our brain.

u/WailersOnTheMoon · 1 pointr/Anxiety

Hey there. This is no substitute for a doctor's care, but the book "Hope and Help for your Nerves" basically ended my panic. It was so useful that I carried it around with me until I felt strong enough to not need it.

u/princessmonkey · 1 pointr/Health

i was in your place a couple years ago (as a 23 year ld female). i wouldnt even stay more than an hour at my apartment. i stayed at my parents house for a month! i had a hard time going to school, work, anywhere. i had suffered from anxiety since i was 12 also, except this 'episode' was the worst ever. i have been taking medication forever, so my doctor and i worked on altering my doses etc.

like you, i thought i was going to die instantly for whatever reason. i started getting panicky over headaches, muscle aches, and of course news stories...

i eventually found a psychologist that works primarily with anxiety disorders, i went once a week for about 3 months, then once every 2 weeks, once every month, once every 3 months, until i didnt need to go anymore. now, it took a month or so until i really noticed a major change. its not just going to go away. you need to 're teach' yourself how to react in certain situations. psychologists have great ways of helping you work on certain situations and reactions. once you start overcoming certain fears, your self esteem with start to rise and each task with become easier and ever more rewarding. it really is time consuming, and can be very painful. i think i cried at every single appointment for the first couple months, having anxiety since you were 12, there are a lot of things to talk about!

i still get nervous. i will always get nervous, that wont go away. but now i know how to react to the anxiety.

read this book:

its been around forever, and is amazing.

if you ever wish to talk more, PM me, i have a feeling i felt a lot like you!

u/TooDamnBeaucoup · 1 pointr/AskReddit
u/AltLeaves · 1 pointr/leaves

I've been having mini anxiety episodes at work and today I realized it's because I kept trying to deny that I really am unsatisfied with my job. It's decent money but I know in my heart of hearts that I would like something else. Once I had that realization, the anxiety eased up a bit. It didn't go away completely, but that's expected.

So perhaps there's unattended ideas or beliefs that weed was masking. Think of the anxiety as you body trying to communicate some sort of message. Yeah, it's easier said than done, and it's probably best to let the worst of the feelings pass before trying to learn from I, but do try and find even just a sliver of information from it. And read this book:

Hope and Help for Your Nerves

u/Viginti · 1 pointr/HealthAnxiety

I started having PVCs in my teens, I'm 37 now, had all the same tests and stuff you have and with the same results, normal. I'm still alive too obviously.

You and your doctors have done your due diligence in regards to your physical health. You're healthy despite what your brain is saying to you.

I've dealt with health anxiety for years and only recently sought out a therapist to help me. Therapy has been amazing and if your insurance provides any coverage for it I suggest you find a therapist to help you. It may take time to find a therapist you like as well so be aware of that and dont stop trying.

If therapy isn't an option right now due to cost then read this and pick up this book which is the one mentioned in the first link.

The blog post and book echo a lot of what I've been doing with my therapist and it does work. It takes time and real effort but it does work and things start to change.

The gist of this bullshit health anxiety is that we're all living in a prison of our own design. Our though processes and patterns keep us in it. You experienced physical symptoms of anxiety and your brain hyped you up because it was scary so now if you get anxious for whatever reason your brain goes "oh I remember what to do when we feel like this, fight or flight time" and you lose your shit. Changing our thinking and thought processes over time can stop all of this.

u/b_Man · 1 pointr/psychology

This book is awesome. Anxiety is a complex area. There is no simple solution. If you are not in the mood for reading, don't do it. You can start reading and observe how does it make you feel. Gaining knowledge about nature of our mental processes can be peaceful. From what I have read you seem like a good person, but I will mention nevertheless: Whatever you do, do not try to solve it with alcohol, it makes things n-times worse.

u/surfwaxgoesonthetop · 1 pointr/Anxiety

This is an excellent reply. Therapy with CBT is a great way to get past panic attacks.

I also suggest that you go to Amazon and read the reviews for a $7 book called "Hope and Help for your Nerves" by Dr Claire Weekes and see if the people who wrote the "most helpful" reviews sound like you.

That book cured me of my horrible panic attacks and I always recommend it to people going through the misery that you are now.

u/shattod · 1 pointr/Anxiety

This book helps me so much. Ive read it 3 or 4 times.

u/courtdemone · 1 pointr/pornfree

I just know the number one trigger of my depression is having an erratic sleep schedule. When I'm not sleeping regularly, I feel lethargic, lack motivation, my willpower is much lower, and my self-talk is very negative. Correcting my sleep schedule inevitably corrects those behaviours as well.

I learned this after reading a book called The Power of Full Engagement, a productivity book that accidentally became the biggest help in dealing with my depression.

u/cworxnine · 1 pointr/Entrepreneur

The Hustle Fallacy

[The Power of Full Engagement] (

[The Curse of the Capable] (

Taking care of oneself comes first, which is backwards compared to what most of us learned growing up. Lots of great material on the subject.

u/adiozaprod · 1 pointr/LifeProTips

I dont know you but I know that two things about you: 1. you are hungry for more life. 2. you are not good with mediocre, you want to go to great.
With that said, the most practical advice i can give you is to read this book. there is a case study of person who was exactly like you and they showed him how he made changes in his life and completely transformed his life. The book is titled: The Power of full engagement

The question you ask is a very important one and it sounds to me that your priorities have shifted and you have changed. that is a great thing. in order for you to take it through. remember that life happens FOR you not AT you. Be grateful that you are where you are because your lowest point in life is very often your highest point later on.

u/mndgrnla · 1 pointr/getdisciplined

There's a book I recently found on amazon that ties into what you were saying about using your energy wisely. I haven't read it yet but it's highly recommended on Amazon.

u/ConfusedD00d · 1 pointr/ADHD

If you aren't medicating then maybe you should start that before you go looking for books? That said I foudn this one quite insightful

However, I don't know that it fits your criteria...

u/BrFrancis · 1 pointr/ADHD

If you prefer a book by ADHD parents -

and don't take as endorsement for amazon. I found it at my local library.

u/thedesklampdilemma · 1 pointr/ADHD

Hey there, it's this book

u/FoulplayMurkrow · 1 pointr/ADHD

This book helped me a lot. Perhaps, it will help you too?

u/lolabrigitta · 1 pointr/ADHD

Have you read this book yet? book

u/lolusererror · 1 pointr/ADHD

I’m almost 35, and have been considering getting a diagnosis for a couple years now. I know that almost every year of elementary and middle school my teachers encouraged my parents to get me evaluated, but my parents didn’t want me medicated so it never happened. My wife’s degree is in elementary education and she says it’s obvious from my family movies, and my current issues, that I probably have ADHD or am high functioning ASD.

I constantly wonder if there is a medicinal treatment that would help me, but haven’t gotten around to seeing a doctor.

All that to say. I can totally see where you are coming from. If you saw a doctor as an adult, and they diagnosed you with ADHD then go with it. If you’re feeling better with your prescribed stimulant then keep taking it.

I thought this book was really good, and might help you and your husband to get a better grasp on what you’re going through.

u/ImaginaMagica · 1 pointr/ADHD

24yo F with ADD here.

It could be that your issue stems from phone communication? When I was in my teens, pre-diagnosis, I had a long distance relationship that didn’t go well because I had a strong aversion to phone conversations. I couldn’t remain engaged with them but didn’t know how to express it.

In aself help book I read recently, I recall a section talking about this particular issue for people like us. Non-verbal communication cues aren’t there in phone conversation so it’s harder for us to connect/stay connected with what is going on.

I’d recommend doing more research on this for yourself to see if this matches what you’re feeling (and also because my memory can be less than perfect). If that turns out to be the problem, and the “long-distance” part of your relationship is non-negotiable for both of you right now, maybe consider using webcam?

Hope that helps

u/Catman1033 · 1 pointr/ADHD

You should consider buying this Adult ADHD guide:

The authors mention this sort of tunnel vision stuff in the world of ADHD dating. I'm not gonna lie, this book doesn't give good advice per se, but the breadth and nuance of the ADHD related issues it covers is astounding. I think half the battle is just knowing that you are not alone.

u/RedditBlueit · 1 pointr/AskReddit

You might also ask about seeing a psychologist for testing. If you're diagnosed, a psychiatrist can prescribe, but a psychologist can help develop compensating strategies. I found this book pretty helpful.

u/hai-sea-ewe · 1 pointr/GetMotivated

I know exactly why you're ranting, because we're taught by society that all our problems are all our fault.

Hence the book You mean I'm not Lazy, Stupid, or Crazy!?, even the title, was a complete revelation. I'd been spending so much time beating myself up for things I couldn't help without outside assistance.

Being able to have intentional coping techniques + the right doses of medication have transformed my life.

u/Caviel · 1 pointr/ADHD

I absolutely feel where you are coming from. Seek alternate opinions, or better yet ask your professional why they made the call. Ask trusted others if they notice a difference in you post medication. My type A wife absolutely can tell and often informs me without prompting if I missed a day of medication.

You are feeling the impact of opinions and influences from a world where many think ADHD isn't even a real thing. How many of these have you heard? Slow down. If you just work harder and focus more, everything would be fine. Can you sit still please? Buckle down and stop being lazy. If you just applied yourself more... Get your head out of the clouds and get this done. Just be patient.

To some extent it is true, if we focus more and work harder things will turn out better. What many don't comprehend is that what many would consider "normal" focus is often very difficult for us to achieve, double for things that don't interest us or requires more mental effort.

Think about it this way: If you answered the questions honestly, and probably conservatively like I did for fear of sounding like an addict, and you were still given an ADHD have ADHD. If you take the prescribed meds and you don't turn into a spastic/hyper mess? Also a strong sign.

The next whammie you deal with? Comprehending how much easier life is on medication and the realization of lost past potential. I was in your exact shoes until I tried Vyvanse for the first time at 38 and it revealed how much coping I had been doing all my life.

A book recommendation for you:

And an entertaining video from a website with a lot information that helped me:

u/g0bananas · 1 pointr/ADHD

Also, learning about yourself.

I suggest reading You Mean I'm Not Lazy, Stupid or Crazy +pdf or amazon

being aware is good. When you are feeling off, maybe write a list down of the things you're being distracted by. Or ask them to write what they want to talk about so you don't forget.

Google Keep is great for this because you can share notes and lists really easily with one another.

You just have to talk about it though. Good luck :D

u/phenomenomnom · 1 pointr/ADHD

I was in exactly your situation. Driven to Distraction and You mean, I'm not Lazy, Stupid or Crazy? both helped me.

Sleep a lot. Remove as much sugar as you can from your diet. Drink ALL the water. Have some loving support. Good luck.

u/TheElderQuizzard · 1 pointr/electronic_cigarette

If you're interested in self-help towards getting rid of your anxiety try reading this while you're stepping down to 0. Great book for anxiety/depression.

u/VeryFrank · 1 pointr/Anxiety

Or "When Panic Attacks" which helped me tremendously.

u/pathways-to-mastery · 1 pointr/leaves

Hey, you should read this book in the meantime, it's about CBT for things like social anxiety and panic attacks, and it's proven to actually help if you practice the techniques.

There was a study that took people with social anxiety and had them do a 9 week self directed online CBT course, and they found that afterwards they all had actual physical brain changes in the parts of their brains associated with fear, and had less anxiety.

CBT has been shown to work better than medications, and especially in the long run, because you are learning workable skills and changing your brain in the process.

I wish you the best of luck!

u/tealhill · 1 pointr/rapecounseling

> I created a Reddit account just to write this and hopefully find some help/advise

Hi and welcome to Reddit!

Let me add a few things to /u/LBNO123's excellent comment:

Even if you do make an appointment for professional help, it might take a day or two until it's your turn.

While you're waiting for the appointment, you might want to start reading a CBT self-help book (such as When Panic Attacks by Dr. David Burns). You might find such a book quite helpful for both your panic attacks, and to decrease your level of worry in general. Your school's library probably has a CBT book that you can borrow; the staff can help you do a search through your library's online catalog website if you wish.

(There are many other good psychotherapeutic techniques other than CBT. The reason why I mentioned CBT is because I'm more familiar with it than with other techniques.)

Please do keep us updated, if you're feeling up to it.

I also wonder whether or not you still have any exams left, and (if so) whether you're leaning towards writing them right away or getting them deferred.

P.S. I'm not a therapist.

u/zinconinco13 · 1 pointr/Meditation

There are a lot of great breathing/focusing tips here but I thought I'd chime in with a more long-term fix for preventing the panic in the first place. I saw a therapist for a couple years for panic attacks and she turned me onto this book and this doctor's CBT techniques that have been proven effective. It helps you understand where the anxiety is coming from and change your thinking. Hope you find relief!

u/dentedcan · 1 pointr/Anxiety
u/instantrobotwar · 1 pointr/MadeMeSmile

Mind over Mood is a good one.

Edit: David Burns is a big name in CBT and it looks like he wrote a book just for anxiety called When Panic Attacks.

u/TongueDepresser · 1 pointr/Anxiety

Well, that's why I suggested that book, first.

If you've never taken an SSRI before, I can understand your concern. I've tried 5 and they were all a bit different and still kind of the same.

They have different side effects, but the main effect is primarily similar: Thoughts don't race around and repeat over and over. And also, the "floor" on your emotional range tends to be lifted so that if you're down, you're less down.

The major downside to many of these SSRIs is that the "ceiling" to your emotional range can be lowered.

Naturally, when you go off the SSRI, the range returns (or if you lower the dose, the range widens.)

Think of SSRIs as a cast for your mind (instead of for your leg or arm). High dose SSRI is like a hard cast on your body part in question, medium dose SSRI is like a more flexible cast, low dose is like an Ace bandage. You're trading off emotional stability for emotional flexibility and vice-versa.

Btw, are you still getting enough exercise? I find that regular hard exercise does wonders for one's mood.

u/cofusedEX · 1 pointr/Anxiety

>(for example, I'll be thinking something normal like 'Oh look, that person is playing with their kid!' and then immediately 'What if I'm only thinking about them because I want to lure them into the woods and murder them? What if I'm secretly a murderer?'), and just will NOT STOP

:-( My ex-bf goes through something like this. Have you tried CBT? You need to work on it every single day for several months.

u/paingawd · 1 pointr/atheism

I'm going to parrot a few others and suggest /r/needadvice.

In the interim, if SRS isn't an option, is there another relative in town that has a more stable environment that you could move in with for a while?

Regarding you anxiety, if you haven't looked into cognitive behavioral therapy, I would highly recommend it. It basically teaches you how to look for the triggers to the anxiety, and helps to disarm the anxiety before the situation gets out of hand. It helped me greatly with my PTSD and subsequent anxiety to the point that I'm 99% med free. The book When Panic Attacks by David Burns helped me a lot.

Hope this helps.

u/gonecivilized · 1 pointr/NoFap

I would suggest NoFap and some help for best results.

u/ScienceYouMonster · 1 pointr/AskReddit

This wasn't a thread about bad parenting. It was about overreactions. And I think you just gave me a better one, so thanks! I don't understand what your problem is. I guess you must be having a bad day or something. All I can say is that I hope whatever it is gets better for you and you stop feeling the need to go on the internet and insult people that you know nothing about and belittle situations that you have no context for. I'm sorry that you expended energy and irritation on me, because I am certainly not worth it or looking to upset anyone with my comments on reddit, unlike you. Have a good day, I wish the best for you.

And may I strongly suggest

u/FWMalice · 1 pointr/kotk

> But I forgot people can't say anything on reddit without getting bashed.

Isnt that kind of what just happened here. They were sharing information with the community and you were giving them grief because some of the information in the post had been mentioned before in another post.

Still, you being upset over this seems petty.

Shouldn't let little things like that bother you man.

I remember my mom reading a book when I was younger called "Don't sweat the small stuff". Maybe you should give it a read man. Might help you shake off some of that stress.

That's a link to it on amazon.

u/ohsuplauren · 1 pointr/introvert

If you are anything like my sister, you absolutely are overwhelming him. I mean that in a good way, because you're recognizing it. My sister has been fluff stressing me my whole life, and she's finally dating someone who doesn't know how to filter it like I do. I also have a lot of patience for her because I recognize my weakness in her strength... anyway...

She is reading this book as we speak. Maybe you will find it helpful too!

u/havok2020 · 1 pointr/depression

I've read a few books on it, but I would suggest Don't Sweat the Small Stuff (And It's All Small Stuff). It talks about the importance of taking time to clear your mind so that things don't stack up, but also some other ways to alleviate worry.

Also, How to Stop Worrying and Start Living by Dale Carnegie. it is arguably better than the first, but it is a slightly older book (though Dale Carnegie was awesome).

u/ShaktiAmarantha · 1 pointr/sexover30

> I do however work tirelessly to share the load of as much as I can around the household and with the kids.

You're way ahead of me! That's good to hear, and my apologies for guessing wrong. Given the normal distribution of housework and childcare in most households, it's a possibility that always needs to be raised in cases like this.

That only leaves the other option. If I were in your shoes, I would try to get her involved in consciously trying to reduce stress. Two specific approaches really stand out.

The first is simply getting more sleep. Busy people with jobs and kids and cellphones almost always skimp on sleep, and over the long run it really does reduce libido in a major way for a lot of people. Just setting a slightly earlier bedtime and banning devices from the bedroom can sometimes do wonders. It's quite possible that the real villains here are Candy Crush and Facebook.

The second-most-effective tool for reducing stress is meditation. A lot of people dismiss meditation as some sort of New Age thing, but there's a ton of solid research on its benefits, not just for sex, but for many other stress-related problems as well. I was a neuroscience student in the 90s when the research first started to pile up, and everything since then has confirmed what people were finding at the time. It's not magic, but it does help.

Related to the last point, comparison studies suggest that the most effective treatment available so far for low libido is something called Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT) or [Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR)](). The program usually requires around 20 hours over eight weeks, plus 45 minutes of homework a day. Alternatively, you can do it online for free, though I don't know whether that is as effective.

> According to Lori Brotto, a professor of gynecology at the University of British Columbia, mood, interpersonal relationships, and general wellbeing are much more central to a woman’s lack of sexual desire than physiological factors. ...

> Brotto’s studies have shown that mindfulness ... can help women with sexual dysfunction increase their sexual desire by helping them to become more attuned to their body’s sexual response and learn to accept their body’s physical limitations. And, not only that, mindfulness can help decrease stress and alleviate depression, helping women to feel better and enjoy sex more.

Anyway, that's a possibility to suggest to your wife if she's willing to try to improve the situation.

Some good sources:

u/throwedtheball · 1 pointr/Meditation

Hey, thanks!

Well, speaking as someone who is quite experienced with the depressive state, I have no fucking clue other than it's a condition you'll just have to live with. There's some really good science being done out there but it's not yet close enough to find the root cause, at least not for all depression, and we continue to try different medications that may or may not work. (I'm not against that, by the way, whatever works, I'll take it.) I'm not trying to scare you here but I've had the same feeling of rediscovery many, many times -- I've thought that I have finally won and I can stay up here forever. I've been wrong each and every time.

Something that has helped me is a certain level of awareness to what is going on with the massive stress, and aside from (or together with) a genetic component, stress is statistically the biggest risk factor in depression. This book (by this awesome guy) talks a lot about depression and stress, so you can kinda know at least how that part works, and avoid some of the situations. (The serotonin/monoamine theory he talks about has been outdated somewhat since 2004, but that's not the main concern anyway.)

So, as best science knows so far, there doesn't have to be a reason. There can be, and there usually is the first time, but if you're predisposed, high amounts of normal, intermittent, daily-life stress is enough to trigger it.

Anyway, I'm railing off here. The main point was: Mindfulness meditation also has tons of solid science behind it. It works as a treatment, so you should try it. You might fare better than I have so far, and hopefully I will in time as well.

Another thing, also off topic: If you're ending up in a medical direction, you might want to look into if you're having what's called a bipolar spectrum disorder, which in essence means you're bipolar, but with very little mania or having hypomania mixed with depressive episodes. It doesn't matter for you or how you feel, but it matters for treatment, so. I'm currently being assessed for that, and it's probably correct, so if you're having the same feelings you might be in the same boat. (The differences between depression and this mainly being some episodes of high irritability, anger, some low-yield mania symptoms like excessive spending, inability to focus, sexual outbursts, things like that.)

u/ctolsen · 1 pointr/askscience

I haven't found any of it online after a quick check, but there's been some of research on the subject. This is a thesis and huge source of information on it, but I can't find the text anywhere. There's some more and newer research, but unfortunately it seems that the Russians care the most about this, and they don't care to translate.

But it's all nicely summarized by primatologist and generally awesome bearded man Dr. Robert Sapolsky in his book, Why Zebras Don't Get Ulcers, and mentioned in this talk which is worth a view.

u/incredulitor · 1 pointr/InsightfulQuestions

Could be a bunch of things. I am not an evolutionary biologist or psychologist, I'm speculating, take it with a grain of salt, blah blah blah.

Behaviors associated with higher cortisol and in turn comorbid with syndromes like anxiety and depression tend to be energy-conserving. Depressing environmental cues like lack of sunlight, cramped and unwelcoming indoor environments or barren outdoor ones could signal wintery periods when not as much food would be available. Sexual function is downregulated, presumably because it burns some energy for the individual and could burn a lot more if a pregnancy was induced at an inconvenient time. Eating habits can be disrupted - some depressed people eat a lot more, some way less than when in a more level emotional state. Some depressed people spend an unusual amount of time resting or sleeping, although stress and rumination can keep you awake long hours too so maybe that's neither here nor there.

As you move from the lower-level biochemical sort of effects towards more integrated psychological kind of functioning, depression can also be somewhat self-preserving in extremely hostile environments. If there's something legitimate to be scared of or that you don't feel like you can deal with outside, staying inside in bed might be an advantageous decision. If every social interaction ends painfully, you'll learn not to engage in them, even though in most circumstances it's probably not good for your long term health not to. See learned helplessness for more about how and why this could be happening.

Moving from a B.F. Skinner type of behavioral level to the cognitive, depression and related ways of thinking can be a sort of defense mechanism against facing psychological turmoil that you're in denial about or don't believe in your ability to handle. Sounds straightforward and you might be able to catch other people doing it, but if it's happening to you you probably won't notice or would even refuse to believe it if it was pointed out to you - your mind can be infuriatingly good at protecting its status quo. Even habits that have really obviously bad outcomes can be preferable to facing the unknown if you lack a sense of self-efficacy or if you're so identified with things being the way that they are that you can't see yourself bridging that gap to a better way of thinking and living, and I mean see it at least as much in terms of subconscious processes and emotional functioning as I do something that you consciously believe about yourself. This guy is one example of a psychologist that talks quite a bit about this type of process.

I guess I probably got these ideas mostly from Robert Sapolsky, in particular his book Why Zebras Don't Get Ulcers.

u/tenmuses · 1 pointr/AskReddit

Kind of a Baader-Meinhof phenomenon thing - I just ordered Robert Sapolsky's Why Zebras don't get Ulcers (link to Amazon) about 20 minutes ago.

Edit: identified link destination

u/noscoe · 1 pointr/AskReddit

Einstein's books about relativity written by Einstein for the non-expert
-Helps you understand not only his theories well, but piques your interest in science a lot, and improves your way to approach all problems. His essays (in particular The World As I See It, be careful of edited versions on the internet which cut out parts they don't like about God, are amazing as well.

Middlesex By Jeffrey Eugenides
-A novel, Pulitzer Prize winner in fiction (called the great american epic), will increase your understanding of those with LGBTQ considerations, but mostly an amazing book

Why Zebras Don't Get Ulcers By Robert Sapolsky
-Entertaining book, will increase your knowledge of a whole lot of things, and increase your interest in psychology and statistics. Also Freakanomics by Levitt/Dubner and Outliers/Blink by Malcolm Gladwell. All good to get your foot in the door to approach the complicated world we live in logically.

Surely You're Joking, Mr. Feynman! by Richard Feynman
--Autobiography of a nobel prize winning physicist, very funny. Will (again) demonstrate how a brilliant person approach the world. Very funny and easy read.

u/anothercarguy · 1 pointr/news

that is from an amalgam of studies in one of my favorite books to explain it,

oh there is a free podcast

number 111.

u/Spacemonster · 1 pointr/Assistance

A subreddit to check out:

~TLDR: I can relate and I recommend you read this book: Dare: The New Way to End Anxiety and Stop Panic Attacks
Psychologists use the technique described in this book to help their patients and it can do wonders.
Sorry for the wall of text. This is something that I struggle with a lot. Though it is not a fear of being attacked physically but being hurt emotionally. Social anxiety turns me into an awkward person to be around. Usually a quiet one.

My family (even at the age of 34) still treat me as the youngest. They still talk down to me. (I'm younger so I must be less knowledgeable) As a child, my siblings did an excellent job at making sure that I knew that I was the youngest and therefore stupid. This caused a huge insecurity about my intelligence which causes huge anxiety about sounding even remotely unintelligent in front of anyone. Getting talked down to is a huge fear of mine.

I used to have a hard time going to restaurants as I would get anxiety just approaching the door. My body wouldn't allow me to go through and a few times I asked if my fiancé would go inside to get the hostess to let them know that we would like to sit outside because I just couldn't walk through the door. I have fewer problems with this now but this was just general anxiety as a result of all the clanking dishes and smells and lights and music and people around me making it impossible to focus or relax. It was a combination of over stimulation of the senses and a turbulent living environment at the time. Though I still struggle with going to the grocery store. I get overwhelmed by the people and all the options and of course (what feels like) that necessary attempt to create small talk with the cashier.

I hate speaking on the phone too. Even when I know I need to make the call. Like my grandmother who is about to have open heart surgery but I can't get up the nerve to even call her. She is a very opinionated woman and will guilt trip me for not staying in contact or because I have a 10 year old kid with my partner and we still aren't married or because I never call her and I'm only calling her now because there is a chance she could die.

This is how anxiety works. It is a never ending circle in your brain of "what ifs".
There is a book I recommend reading called "Dare". Anxiety is paralyzing and comes in all forms and this book is great for any and all forms of anxiety.

Despite the different forms of anxiety, it usually starts the same way.

"What if"

  • 'What if I get on the phone with my grandmother and she starts guilt tripping me?'
  • 'What if I call her and she says that I'm only calling because she might die?'
  • 'What if I don't ever call her and she dies and then I feel guilty for a really long time for not calling and my self esteem takes a huge hit or she doesn't die but I didn't call so it makes her feel like I don't care and despite the fact that we don't have a close relationship, I actually do care?'

    Or in your case:

  • 'What if I interact with my family/friends/coworkers and they start yelling at me?'
  • 'What if I go out and meet someone new and they end up physically attacking me?'

    This book goes into what to do with these 'what if' questions and how to tackle them. It starts by answering with 'So what?' and to stop resisting anxiety. Anxiety only exists because you are resisting it. You know you will get anxiety if you go out and try to interact with people, so you don't do it. It is this resistance that causes the anxiety in the first place.

    This has been a life long struggle for me and I'm only just now starting to take control of it. It's a long process. However, one thing you can do now if you struggle with it on a daily basis is to start reading that book and also look in to taking some magnesium. Talk to your doctor and read up on how magnesium might help.
u/Rangizingo · 1 pointr/Anxiety

Please please please read this book. This has literally changed my life with my struggle of anxiety.

I have the audiobook and ebook as well, I encourage you all to buy it but please if anyone needs it PM me and we'll make it work.

u/WayOfTheIronPaw · 1 pointr/psychology

Cognitive Behaviour Therapy has some good advice for those with General Social Anxiety Disorder. For that, and many other problematic thoughts, I recommend the book Change Your Thinking.

u/Milk07 · 1 pointr/houston

I was seeing a psychologist about my anxiety for a while. But I have to say, this book was probably more helpful to me than years of therapy. It might not be for everyone, but it really helped me get my life back.

u/ChidiOk · 1 pointr/OCD

I would recommended reading this book, it will help you get grounded again so that things don’t get overemphasized At Last A Life

u/PsychopathicMunchkin · 1 pointr/depression


How are you? How is your job hunt going? Are you enjoying the gym? For books I would recommend:

The book covers a wide range of patterns of thinking, explains them really well and how to manage them. It does talk about them in psychological terms but in a way anyone could understand it.

Would you consider introducing any new hobbies into your routine such as walking, yoga or meditation?

u/Mastry · 1 pointr/autism

For your anxiety/depression:

That book helped me get rid of the anxiety I'd had for my entire life.

u/GodoftheStorms · 1 pointr/StackAdvice

Re: probiotics, it's possible the benefits I've experienced are placebo effect. I'd have to look at the actual criticism you're talking about to make a judgment, but pretty much everything I've come across regarding the gut bacteria-mental health connection seems to be pretty solid. There are, of course, always flawed or compromised studies out there, though.

Based on what you're describing, I think mindfulness-based stress reduction (MBSR) or mindfulness meditation in general might be a good fit for you. Ashwagandha may help you, but if you haven't noticed much effect by now, it probably won't do what you're hoping it will do. There are a lot of resources for learning meditation. /r/meditation is a good place to start, but I would recommend a more structured program, such as the one in this book or this free online program. Alternatively, many people have achieved similar benefits from reading Eckhart Tolle's The Power of Now.

The reason I recommend MBSR over other forms of meditation is because it's streamlined for modern-day life and addresses everyday stress/anxiety. Tolle is a bit more mystical/religious, but some people find he speaks to them more. Mindfulness can help you let go of whatever is unnecessary for the task at hand. You can only live one moment at a time. When you're only living in the moment, and not worried about the past and future, this takes a lot of the stress out of demanding situations.

u/helpful_aardvark · 1 pointr/uwaterloo

Let me first of all congratulate you, as you should yourself, on recognizing that you are having some difficulties and for seeking some form of help. Admitting that to yourself allows to you do something about it.

Be kind to yourself. We are all human, and we all have our own strengths and weaknesses. Some people struggle with anxiety and low mood more than others, but that's ok. It doesn't make you any less of an amazing person, it just means that you have to find some healthy mechanisms with which to deal with it and try to nip it in the bud when you feel you are on the edge of the downward spiral. It's like learning to put a plaster over a sore heel before it becomes a blister, and then to change your shoes to something more comfortable whilst it gets better.

Sometimes you may fall down the spiral a little. That's ok too. It's like getting a cold. It sucks, but it's treatable and it won't be forever. You are stronger than you think and you have the power to pull yourself out of it (although it may not always feel like it). This will sometimes be harder than other times (some colds are worse than others), but you are strong, smart and resilient. Your brain is plastic enough that you have learned all the things you've learned since you were born, to get all the way to uwaterloo. Processes like cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) use that plasticity to change the way you think about things and make you less anxious over time. There are self-guided books to help with this and sometimes courses offered by counselors/psychologists.

Find some things that make you happy. That sounds like a standard, throwaway line, but hear me out... I know this is not easy when you are feeling anxious - but think back to a time when you remember being happier and less anxious. What did non-anxious you enjoy doing? What relaxed non-anxious you? Do you have a cool photo of non-anxious you smiling and doing something you loved? One of the symptoms of anxiety and depression is that it sucks the motivation out of you and stops you remembering the joy of things. Do one of those things that you remember making you happy. At first it will feel like a grind, but over time you may find that the joy of those things starts to come back, if not slowly at first.

Do something that engages your senses. Anxiety can make you feel like you are stuck in the space between your brain and eyeballs. That's the space where overthinking happens - it's like having your eyes open but not seeing the world around you. There are a few things I would suggest to try and get yourself out of that space...

  1. Sit in a space where there are people around. You don't necessarily have to engage with them. Hear their voices. See people coming and going. Feel the change in temperature when the door opens and closes. Notice things. Feel them. Smell the coffee being made.
  2. Do some exercise. I don't just mean lift weights, although certainly do that if that's what you like. Do a sport that you enjoy. It doesn't have to be competitive. Go throw a basketball. Play soccer. Do yoga. Exercise also makes your body produce happy hormones.
  3. Do some mindfulness training/meditation. There are many guided mindfulness meditations on youtube. There are also a number of books (e.g. ). Turn off all other phone notifications whilst you listen to them. The trick is to concentrate on your body - something the majority of people don't ever do in our fast-paced lives. It can really help alleviate anxiety. I believe counselling services also offer courses on mindfulness - this is well worth looking into.
  4. When you are doing day-to-day things (e.g., taking a shower, washing dishes...), really DO them. Concentrate on how the water feels and how it sounds. Listen to the dishes clink against each other and how they sound different to one another. Smell the soap. Hear the bubbles popping.
  5. Get out in nature. Remember how big and incredible the world is, and the infinitesimally small probability that it came to exist at all! Hear the birds tweeting. Watch Spring slowly taking over. Not too many thousands of years ago, out ancestors roamed the plains outside. We are still built for that environment and our concrete jungles can make us get stuck in our own heads.

    Life is a lot bigger than university, exams and interviews. Whilst getting rejected from interviews or not showing up for them is painful now (and I am in no way suggesting that it isn't), maybe future-you won't even remember these interviews in a few years time, so give present you some kindness and care.

    We can do our best to set ourselves up for success, but the world is full of randomness and things out of our control. Try not to stress about things you can't control. Be healthy, try your best (but not to the detriment of your well-being), do the things that make you happy and care for the people you care about.

    Please do not give up on seeking professional help. Continue to seek help from medical professionals. Ask your doctor for a referral to a psychiatrist if you can. Talk to family and friends if you can. Continue to try counselling services and the workshops they offer.

    I'm not a professional, but I hope some of my personal advice may have been useful to you. Another book that may be worth a read is:

    Do not hurt yourself. You are more important than you can possibly know. Look at the way you are feeling as a 'blip'.

    Try to remind yourself that you WILL feel better.
u/ashleeedge · 1 pointr/ADHD

I don't have as severe problem as yours. I have urges to pick and mess with stuff, but I'm lucky I'm able to usually stick to things that wont actually harm me. One of these things is nail polish. So I always have my nails painted but never use chemical remover, just pick at it myself! :) This probably won't completely solve your problem, but if you find yourself having the urge, try picking at your nail polish in a way that won't harm your fingers.

I also do Mindfulness Meditation. There's a good intro book called "A Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction Workbook" by Stahl & Goldstein.
It's only like $16on Amazon. It comes with a CD of guided meditations which is the only way I can do it. It helps me center myself. I think if you take the time to learn it it will help you. For example, when you get in the "zone" type thing you describe, like if you pick at yourself before bed when you would rather use the time for sleeping, as soon as you notice it, you will put on your headphones and play the 3 minute Mindful Check-in from the CD and the guy's voice will help you "bring awareness to your experience of the here and now".


GOOD LUCK. Please stop hurting yourself. hugs

u/oliviatwist · 1 pointr/Anxiety

So I took an Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction class, which are offered at a lot of colleges, psychiatry clinics, etc. throughout the U.S. And to be honest, I'm not sure if I would have been able and motivated to learn on my own, but I think some people are capable of doing that. If you want to try it on your own, the book I received as a part of taking the class is here on Amazon for $16.31, and it comes with a CD of guided meditations including three body scan meditations of various lengths (15, 30, & 45 minute versions.) However, I wouldn't be surprised if you could find free body scan guided meditations on youtube, although I'm always wary of freebies for starters because you can't always be sure the qualifications of the teacher. Both of the authors are PhD's. The workbook sets up a good structure for learning by yourself, but I think I needed the class to feel held accountable for practicing, and make me feel like I was "doing it right." Which you later learn is sort of a silly thought, because there's really no right or wrong way to do it except to let it happen... I know that probably sounds weird, but I'm sorry I can't elaborate more, I'm still learning myself.

I hope that answers your question. I wish I could send you the mp3 of one of the guided meditations to test the waters, but my computer with the file is broken.

I promise I'm not paid to say any of this, by the way. When I was first looking for something to help me, I was worried about people claiming viable treatment who were really just preying on those desperate to get help. Which are the worst sort of snake-oil-peddling jerks...

If you have any more questions, you can pm me and I'll answer to the best of my ability. I hope you give it or something like it a try :)

u/420_pdx_erryday · 1 pointr/Portland

Everyone is different. When I started these exercises, I certainly needed more like 30 minutes. Only after I have learned to ride the wave of feelings and be ok with it, then it gets faster.

I recommend this book as a possible place to start, but all of these techniques work better with proper doctor helping you along. Don't self-diagnose. Don't assume just reading these techniques will help you without a doctor. I also recommend taking a licensed mindfulness course (not the hippie-dippy ones or the kind on youtube. Look for clinically trained mindfulness instructors. There's a good one at Hillsboro Yoga). but above all - you need to integrate it into who you are via lots of practice.

u/rlblackst · 1 pointr/Random_Acts_Of_Amazon

I really want this workbook to use with my clients. They have a lot of trouble working through anxiety, as I think many people do, and having had exposure and ability to use some of the pages in here, I know it is helpful and effective. I'm transitioning a group that was with a former therapist who was with them a very long time. I apparently run things quite a bit differently, so that's creating even more anxiety than they would normally have! (Therapy group btw).

I'd likely use that workbook at least once a week, if not more.

And where did the phrase Goodbye Eleven come from? Maybe I should know, but I don't, and I'm curious. Thanks for the contest!

u/drpinkswife · 1 pointr/stopsmoking

Valium. I'm not kidding. I used it a couple of times during my very early quit. Now I'm at a point where I don't think about failing or even worry about it...I'm just learning to live a different way. I just ordered this it today...I'll let you know if it's any good.

u/rlb0smokey13 · 1 pointr/Anxiety

This a million times over. THIS. It's a whole series of workbooks and def uses mindfulness in it.

u/ansterthemonster · 1 pointr/selfharm

She may not want to talk about what is going on (especially if your parents/mental health professionals have been asking her to reveal things that she may not feel comfortable revealing) but I think just being reminded how much you care about her and giving her lots of distractions are so so helpful.

I think it is FANTASTIC that she journals and I think that she should be encouraged to do so, but as much as your family might want to find out what is going on inside of her I think it is important that journals are kept private. I would share this with your parents. Speaking from personal experience, my parents read my diary when I was 18 (and again when I was 20) and what was a really good outlet for me then became something I was nervous about my parents finding and reading and it was so hard for YEARS to get back into it. I so can't stress this enough - journaling is tremendously helpful to work through difficult things that you may not feel like sharing with others but the privacy is something that should be respected. If she is concerned at the privacy of her journal, I would suggest one that comes with a simple lock/key mechanism. If anything it might give her piece of mind.

My first psych gave me a book once that was super helpful with depression/anxiety called The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook for Anxiety I would look into getting it for her and seeing if it is helpful. If anything, if she is struggling with working through difficult feelings it can help make sense and organize thoughts and emotions with prompts and better help her relay these things to her mental health professionals and family members.

u/Underbelly · 1 pointr/Anxiety

You sound like CBT would help you. It is focussed on changing harmful cognitions. This book will be a great start and really open your eyes into the shit you put yourself through but also look into seeing a psychologist who has CBT training. You language about manning up etc. is classic beating yourself up behaviour and a key driver to anxiety. PM me if you want more advice.

u/pajcat · 1 pointr/Mindfulness

I took a mindfulness based stress reduction class and for the most part the meditations we did were based on [this series.] (

You can probably get it from your library if you wanted to try it. (Mine also has it online so I could just borrow and download it.) He also has some shorter variations on YouTube.

I like the body scan one.

u/worfsfragilelove · 1 pointr/JulyBumpers2017

thanks for sharing and reminding me to practice!! i use the john kabat zinn stuff there's some tracks on amazon (not for free but they have been a good investment for me. Here's what i use: I took a local 'mindfullness stress reduction class' at the beginning of pregnancy and its been great. Not pregnancy specific but solid mindfulness technique. of course it ain't a practice if i don't practice, i will try to get back to it tonight : D

u/redditusernamehonked · 1 pointr/Awwducational

guided meditations by Jon Kabat-Zinn and one guided meditation by some random chick on (basically, "remember being in love with life. remember that feeling. let yourself feel that").

Mostly, sit somewhere quiet and try to think about nothing but your normal resting breath. Pay attention to what else comes into your head, but don't follow those thoughts, just notice them.

u/Bergtop · 1 pointr/Anxiety

Books and cd by Jon Kabat-Zin, Guided Mindfulness Meditation Series 1 by Jon Kabat-Zinn Link: Mindfulness requires discipline, 45 minutes of practise a day. It also can give you all kinds difficult insights/emotions you have to deal with, so that is why it is better to not do it alone.

Books by Thich Nhat Hanh for example, Fear: Essential Wisdom for Getting Through the Storm

u/kitrichardson · 1 pointr/TwoXChromosomes

Yep. I'd really recommend a book called Change Your Thinking by Sarah Eldermann.- It really helped me, but you do have to do the exercises, rather than just read it. Also, mindfluness meditation, which helps you 'observe' your thoughts without immediately reacting to them, is great. Give Jon Kabat Zimm a try, he has quite a few CDs and could really help you xx

u/099992 · 0 pointsr/depression

Hi! There is this booming technique in psychology called mindfulness. Here is a link for a mindfulness workbook:

Mindfulness is all about staying in the present moment. You cant overthink if you stay in the moment ;)

Have you ever thought about going to therapy?

u/neptunium · 0 pointsr/hearthstone

Sounds like you need to learn to handle your inner chimp.

u/SpacePuzzle · 0 pointsr/AskReddit
u/momowagon · -1 pointsr/askscience

Buy this book. Also, these CD's. The author recommends 45 minutes every day. I have been practicing for a year and a half, and I set my schedule so that I can meditate for as long as i "need." Sometimes that's 20 minutes, and sometimes its more like an hour. As you get more acquainted with yourself through meditation, you'll have a better idea.

u/RaxL · -22 pointsr/videos

Look, I can take a joke, even if it's a joke that makes fun of me. But Jefferies made a convincing argument that people with learning disabilities are stupid. No, he didn't around the bush or insinuate, he flat out said it. In fact, this video didn't even really bash Americans, it just bashed Americans with learning disabilities.

Here's the thing... As a person with a learning disability, how am I supposed to take this? Where was the punch line? Where was the funny part where I can laugh? In fact, what was the funny part?

From what I got from his performance, America scores lower on math and science placement tests than China because Americans are too confident. This over-confidence leads Americans to label those who struggle with learning as learning disabled. Americans attempt to empower the learning disabled instead of recognizing that they are actually stupid. These people fill our churches.

In short, people with learning disabilities are stupid and are bringing down America.

So, like I said, I can take a joke, but this just wasn't funny. Here's one, "What do you call Michael Jackson with a speech impediment? .... A WALRUS!" See, that's not funny and it's nothing to do with people with speech impediments being offended... it's just not funny because it's nonsensical. Jefferies stand-up is the same in that it's not funny.... or.... i cant see how it's supposed to be funny other than the bit about religious people having learning disabilities and therefore being stupid...

I don't know though... maybe I am stupid and bringing the country down... Despite the high scores from my IQ test, university has done a pretty excellent job of making me feel stupid and useless to society. I'm starting to think that another semester of Diff. Eq. isn't worth it and I should just go get some low paying job somewhere.

This book comes to mind