Top products from r/AbuseInterrupted
We found 10 product mentions on r/AbuseInterrupted. We ranked the 10 resulting products by number of redditors who mentioned them. Here are the top 20.
1. Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men
Sentiment score: -1
Number of reviews: 1
Abusive husbandControling menAbusive relationshipdrugs and alcoholcounseling
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3. The Usual Error: Why We Don't Understand Each Other and 34 Ways to Make It Better
Sentiment score: 0
Number of reviews: 1
Used Book in Good Condition
Show Reddit reviews4. In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction
Sentiment score: 1
Number of reviews: 1
North Atlantic Books
Show Reddit reviews5. When Anger Hurts: Quieting the Storm Within, 2nd Edition
Sentiment score: -1
Number of reviews: 1
Used Book in Good Condition
Show Reddit reviews6. ACT Made Simple: An Easy-To-Read Primer on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (The New Harbinger Made Simple Series)
Sentiment score: -1
Number of reviews: 1
NewMint ConditionDispatch same day for order received before 12 noonGuaranteed packagingNo quibbles returns
Show Reddit reviews7. A Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction Workbook (A New Harbinger Self-Help Workbook)
Sentiment score: 0
Number of reviews: 1
A Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction Workbook
Show Reddit reviews8. Mind-Body Workbook for PTSD: A 10-Week Program for Healing After Trauma (A New Harbinger Self-Help Workbook)
Sentiment score: 1
Number of reviews: 1
New Harbinger Publications
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As a man raised primarily by my mom with a mostly absent father, and raised without much other male influence here is my take on this really awesome post:
empower your male children. love their masculinity. Teach them to channel their natural aggression into healthy places. teach them that with great power/strength comes great responsibility. whatever you do don't make them hate their own maleness, their own masculinity. teach them that good men can still be masculine. Be careful about teaching them they should be "different' than their father, as children can project that belief onto all male authority figures. You will have a rebel who struggles with his own male identity and therefore struggles to understand his "place" in the world, and in relationships.
Source
This idea is the crux of Gabor Mate's book, In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts, a fascinating look into the correlation between early nurturing and addiction/abuse.
Other good recommendations:
Mind Body Bridging Workbook for PTSD
This has helped me so much. It teaches you mind-body bridging practices that help lessen the intensity of PTSD symptoms. Highly recommend.
I have a habit of buying presents for people that I don't like. I've sent a few people this book before: https://www.amazon.com/Assholes-Theory-Aaron-James/dp/0804171351/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1473274251&sr=8-1&keywords=asshole
They deserved it. But trust me, the giver knows when they're doing it. It's not a real gift. It's $15 worth of 'I hate you and wish you would go away'.
See also:
That just sounds awful. There's been some research into the use of meditation, if you do it daily, it slowly restructures the brain.
Here's an example of a workbook. It's called awareness meditation. There are also group classes in it: https://www.amazon.com/Mindfulness-Based-Reduction-Workbook-Harbinger-Self-Help/dp/1572247088
Some other forms of therapy can help as well. For example there is EMDR. There are actually some books out about that now to DIY. And there are some other things you can try, if your corrent therapist isn't up on it there are others who are.
You can not change the past, and you can not change the beliefs of others. You are right - this sort of abuse and toxicity can permeate a whole family. Sometimes there is no solution apart from looking after yourself, There is no point in joining in the craziness just to prove you are right & they are wrong.
I suggest you talk to a therapist, including Acceptance & Commitment.
www.amazon.com/gp/product/1572247053
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/two-takes-depression/201102/acceptance-and-commitment-therapy
Whether it be a situation you cannot control, a personality trait that is hard to change or an emotion that overwhelms, accepting it can allow you to move forward. Obsessing, worrying and playing things over and over keep you stuck. In this sense, asking why can leave you helpless. ACT invites you to accept the reality and work with what you have.
I am so sorry you are with this person who thinks he is entitled to control whether you live or die, and that this kind of treatment feels normal to you. It is NOT NORMAL and if I learned that any of my friends threatened to kill or hurt their spouse, I would cut that person out of my life immediately and take steps to help that person. It is NOT NORMAL to threaten violence! You deserve to be safe!
This is an abusive behavior outlined in the book Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Abusive and Controlling Men (pirate bay)(ebay)(amazon). He acts murderous and cruel on occasion so you never feel safe and have to walk on eggshells for fear he might get angry with you. It is a completely calculated move to control you. I’m sure there is a Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde dynamic where you hope the happy periods last forever but there is an ever-present fear that he will return to his angry state. So YOU BOTTLE YOURSELF UP because you hope you can keep this from happening and BLAME YOURSELF when it inevitably does. And it gets worse and worse over time because the more he sees that he can control you, the more entitled he feels to control you further. This WILL get worse, and you CANNOT fix him!
It is not your fault that any of this is happening. It is his fault alone. He has manipulated you and he should be ashamed. He is always just nice enough to keep you from leaving, and scary enough to make you do what he wants. All while making you think you are responsible. He is the one doing all of this! You are a good person and you want to love and be loved!
Best-case scenario, you are in a physically and emotionally abusive relationship where you have a credible reason to fear for your life on a daily basis, where he threatens to kill you regularly and has looked into ways to make that happen. Worst-case scenario, he will make good on his promise to you that he will kill you! He promised you he will kill you!!
It is so unfair that you have to be constantly attentive to his every need while he has no care about yours. You deserve to be with someone who cares about you and makes you feel SAFE. When your partner is stressed at work, you deserve someone who will come to you and tell you how much they appreciate being with you because you help them make that stress easier to cope with. That is a normal reaction to stress at work! Appreciation for your loved ones! You deserve to be with someone who makes your world a better place. You have so much love to give and it is WASTED on him!
The most accurate predictor of violence is whether YOU BELIEVE HE WILL BE VIOLENT. Trust your instincts! If you have pets, you can tell him they ran away and get a friend to take care of them for a while. He has probably driven you away from many of your friends and family and I am so sorry about that. You deserve to be close to people and to have friends.
Whether you stay with him or begin to make your escape, you are making the best choice for yourself and YOU CAN DO IT. There are so many good people out there and I am so sorry he has made you forget that.
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Resources from another post on this subreddit: