Top products from r/BreakUps

We found 37 product mentions on r/BreakUps. We ranked the 27 resulting products by number of redditors who mentioned them. Here are the top 20.

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Top comments that mention products on r/BreakUps:

u/toyzviper123 · 1 pointr/BreakUps

(these stats are based yesterday)

0) I guess be more active?

  1. oh yes, i try my best to avoid her.

  2. After a friendly date with a good friend of mine. I've been very happy lately.

  3. Definitely

  4. Finish some of my school and move out.

  5. yes, i'm barely at home.(too many memories)

  6. A photo of me and my friend.

  7. I fall in love way too fast. I'm a hopeless romantic.

  8. Just now =)

    end of the day:

  9. Play the guitar, go to church, finish my exams, and worked out.

  10. Yes, i try my best to eat healthy everyday.

  11. If playing the guitar is considered meditating . then yes.

  12. Yes.. See above.

  13. Amazing. Of course i still think about her but it's miles away from the start of the break up.

  14. Yes, I've been reading the book mind over mood. Its a great book. It teaches you how to deal with your emotions by thinking differently.

  15. I love being with people that loves me back. I should take it slow.

  16. sigh, i fell in love again. I'm doing my best to take it slow. She's an amazing person. I'm planning to serenade her at the end of September

    ps. Do you mind paging me when you make these threads? if that's ok =D.

    I enjoyed doing this. You're a great person!
u/h20hhh · 2 pointsr/BreakUps

I understand. Its the feeling of rejection. We want to be loved and admired and when someone says they feel things aren't going right, you feel like something is wrong with you. This is the time to arm yourself heavily with self esteem tools. Take care of yourself and remind yourself that there is nothing wrong with you. That you have much to offer and are a great person. Magnificent. Astounding. Wonderful. If you're experiencing what I am, you might be feeling potential separation anxiety.


These are some affirmations I am using that could be helpful...

  1. My distress is a result of brain chemistry and I’m not crazy. Just temporarily off balance.
  2. My anxieties and insecurities don’t necessarily reflect what’s really going on or what he’s thinking or feeling.
  3. Just because he broke up with me doesn’t mean that what we had wasn’t real. It’s simply not real any more.
  4. I shall respectfully honor his request for space.
  5. Seeking contact (stalking, pleading) does not bring relief, it only brings shame.
  6. Instead of thinking, I have to get him to tell me the truth, change his mind, stop cheating, etc., I shall stop caring what he does or how he feels.
  7. It is a mistake to heed the voice inside my head that urges me to seek him out. That voice comes from pain, insecurity, and fear and is not the BEST me.
  8. When that voice is triggered, I shall turn toward myself or a good friend for reassurance, not him.
  9. When I am triggered, I shall mindfully observe my physiology and let it wane without trying to fix it. Rather than thinking I have to see him and recapture what was, I shall think, Oh, look at that. I’m having an anxious moment. This too shall pass. Also try unfurrowing your brow. A calm face leads to a calm mind.
  10. When triggered, I shall give myself a 90-second timeout for my physiology to calm down—and I shall not renew my distress by focusing on what’s upsetting to me.
  11. I shall not measure my worth by his attitude toward me. His attitude is a reflection on him, not me.
  12. He’s just not that into me, and I shall spend my time with people who appreciate me. Life is too short to do otherwise.
  13. Distance from him is what heals me. Whenever I try to get close again, it’s like picking off a scab and making it bleed. I’m only forcing myself to go through the agony of withdrawal all over again. When a scab has formed, I shall let it heal over completely.
  14. I shall not justify seeking closeness as an attempt to keep my lover as a friend. I cannot afford a friendship until I’m completely over him and no longer even remotely triggered. And it’s okay if we don’t remain friends. Moving on is a sign of personal growth.
  15. It’s okay for me to feel sad that this relationship has ended. As I grieve, I am moving toward healing.
  16. I am a growing, changing person and can learn from this experience.
  17. I shall take the high road and behave in ways that have dignity and restore my self-respect.
  18. I shall do what nurtures my health and wholeness. (Natural serotonin and dopamine boosters include physical activity, sunshine on my skin, smiling, and good nutrition including plenty of protein, vegetables, B vitamins, and bananas.)
  19. When I take care of myself, I feel confident, optimistic, attractive, and authentic.
  20. The more I behave like a sane person, the more I’ll feel like a sane person.
  21. To resist focusing on a dead relationship, I shall focus on living my BEST life.
  22. I shall seek out what energizes me, not what drains me.
  23. I shall remember that my success is the best revenge!
u/AwkwardBurritoChick · 2 pointsr/BreakUps

> 1) How long have you been No Contact?

I believe today is day 6. Last contact was last Tuesday.

> 2) What physical feature do you like most about yourself?

Hard one, but if anything, keeping my silver streak which some millennial colleagues I work with reminds them of a super hero that he more or less disparaged, I can grow in. For some reason I like my streak, though the other silver (gray) seems mousy at times, I really dig it, and well damn, it took me a long time to get this silver and I'm glad I'm going silver in a pretty cool manner.

> 3) What do you like most about your personality?

The words the replacement to a former colleague I was close to was leaving our company pretty much said it in word I couldn't use to explain myself and nearly floored when she said it as I used to be in her department, thrown into a more stressful position (by choice, expereince, culture) that she said to me "It was obvious that you were in stressful, high pressure situations and the face for your department. Yet what will stick with me is that no matter how it was apparent, sometimes in your tone, you always seemed to be calm, informed, even if you weren't fully, but you always assured "We'll get through this".

She was spot on; that' is my mantra at work, at home, with my family, and even now my ex-bf "We'll get through this" and "We'll see what we can do." and if not sure, my response "We'll find out".

I just know doing Helpdesk stuff that I need to keep it positive and apparently it bled into personal avenues. That rocks!

> 4) Have you gotten outside for at least 30 minutes (weather permitting) in the last 24 hours? Have you done any sort of exercise in the last 24 hours?

Yes, I got outside. I love the cool air. Exercise, no. Not conventioally though I did spend about an hour to almost 2 hours going through things, lifting, and throwing out. Perhaps not the gym, but I de-cluttered and rid of things I meant to for a few weeks, months, and aim to do more ridding of shit in my home.

> 5) Name a song, movie, TV show, or book (or any / all) that has helped you work through your break up. Maybe something that's helped you think about it differently or perhaps something that's just made you laugh.

Interesting question. Yesterday was my "take care of me day" and I watched the movies I suggested to him that he didn't want to watch for several bullshit reasons though he is a self proclaimed avid movie enthusiast. I watched Interstellar, 12 years a slave, and "Good Night and Good Luck".

I texted my oldest daughter that the realiztion that my movie choices had an essence of heart and doing right in all of them. Something he seems to not be able to connect to in his movie choices and in real life. He thinks life is about $ and I go by heart, and like to surround myself and want my adult children to be surrounded with people that have heart.

I realized he doesn't have 'the heart' and he also is a shitty partner that for every one movie that was my choice he watched, there were about 300 he decided that I watched.

Oh... as to recommended reading from break ups I had in the past, the book "It's Called a Break Up Because It's Broken" Co-written by the same guy who wrote the "he's not that into you" episode of Sex in the City.

When I went through my divorce, which was far more dramatic, hard to deal with, I threw myself into literature (internet was kinda new) of anything historical mainly biographies about WWII and the struggles. It helped me to keep in mind tha if I thought I was having a rough time? Yea, I'm not away from my family for several years, on a pacific island made of volcanic shards, fighting an enemy I can't see... Okinawa... then add into tha the Band of Brothers type stuff... it kept me humble that while my struggle was real, that there are others who suffered more and for the greater good of our country. It helped keep my suffering, pain in perspectve and realized I needed to find a purpose as a mother.

u/nerdwordbird · 6 pointsr/BreakUps

Just like what u/robertosnow said. This has been true for me too. At first I hated it when talking to people they'd say "well it's time to focus on yourself now", because I wanted / needed to talk about HIM and what is he thinking and how is he feeling and how can I make this pain stop.... so do it, vent about it. Let it out and FEEL the feelings. That's the way through it, that's how to make it slowly go away.

What I started doing is writing down all the stuff my friends would say in response (because some of it was really valuable advice which I just couldn't absorb at the time), and reading back over it a couple weeks later was a gold mine of insights - including into my own obsessive thoughts.

A book which has been invaluable to me is The Wisdom of a Broken Heart which was written after the author's own heartbreak, and is so understanding that you could start it right away even in the midst of your own fresh pain. It gives methods to quiet the anxious inner voices, how to keep your heart open despite the pain, how to connect with the wonderful stuff inside you - yes it's somewhat spiritual but certainly not religious (she's buddhist but nobody reading this book would need to believe in Buddhism). Really highly recommended.

And YES, you will get through this, YES it is going to get much much easier. There will be up and down days for weeks or months, but let yourself feel the feelings, work on taking really good care of yourself, and it definitely WILL get much better. Good luck! PM me if you want to.

u/Sim116s · 3 pointsr/BreakUps

I feel your pain, same situation as you. Together 10 years, and only married 29 days before I found out about her six month ongoing affair.

Two years later, I have some bits of advice:

  1. What you feel right now WILL change. I promise it will get better and will discover the real you again. It won’t seem like it right now however YOU are a better person without her.

  2. Good days are always followed by bad days, that’s just normal life, but the bad days do not define who you are or the type of life you will always have.

  3. Your ex didn’t intend to, but she has given you the best gift in the world. FREEDOM. Talk to friends, and spend time with people who love you. Family will always have your back and support you without judging.

  4. As hard as the first session might be, I urge you to go and talk to a therapist or counsellor. Family have your back however a therapist will give you unbiased advice and revelations which I PROMISE will help with recovery and allow you to become a better mentally healthier person.

    Resource worth checking out :

    Gabriel Cohen The Storms Can't Hurt the Sky, A Buddhist Path Through Divorce

    I’m not a Buddhist but found this really calming and eye opening.
u/HurricaneDITKA · 5 pointsr/BreakUps

I just got broken up with by my gf of 5+ years last weekend, so I have even less experience than your 30 days, but I have just a few pieces of advice. 1. This book has so far been a wonderful tool. It is a no-nonsense, unisex guide to healing. It has helped me turn all my feelings into motivations and useful thoughts. If you're like me, you're incredibly lost right now, and this book is the literary equivalent of a big sister (or someone similar) grabbing you by the wrist, smacking you in the face, forcing you to take steps to get better, and letting you see the forest for the trees. 2. If you don't want to go the book route, I'll give you the cliff notes version, and that is this: Feel your feelings, they're normal and they're ok, and you basically can't control them. Learn to love yourself, take the love you had for your ex, and turn that love upon yourself. Use that feeling and make yourself an even better person. You are currently in a state of personal development, it is just disguised by grieving. 3. Remember that "this, too, shall pass".

u/webservant · 0 pointsr/BreakUps

Wow! Well, now you know. And you've also drawn a line in the sand that puts her in her place in the past, and you've done it with style, and you've done it together. Kudos to both of you!

Looking forward, a man so willing to do what he feels is the right thing in the moment, and most of all, who's willing to validate a woman's goodness and her place in his life, cannot help but find the right one and make her happy.

If you're as interested in learning about relationships -- and doing the right thing by the women in your life -- as it seems, here's a great book: Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus.

Good luck!

u/ThenAgain_throwaway · 3 pointsr/BreakUps

Good for you girl!!

On an unrelated note, I remember the time when I too felt like I can't breathe. I've gone through two breakups from serious relationships in the span of four years, and both times I felt that way at some point. What was a huge help to me was reading Bruce Fisher's book Rebuilding: When Your Relationship Ends . It talks you through all the stages of breaking up in a friendly, humorous tone, and helps you check how you're doing. When I started reading it I remember feeling like I could breathe again, and that I will live. Just wanted to share that, just in case.

Take care.

u/Mamma_cita · 7 pointsr/BreakUps

Hey, it’s been 6 months for me and I recently started reading the book Women who love too much, the process of accepting I fit this book’s premise so well is painful, but acceptance will bring freedom and I am trying to heal so that I can learn from this pain. I highly recommend the book. Leaving you the link here: Women Who Love Too Much: When You...

u/handsfree_riptide · 2 pointsr/BreakUps

Earlier this year I had a breakup with my ex who had several mental health problems including BPD. She began another relationship after a month or two and we kept in touch and were even "friends" for about 6 months afterwards. When I learned she had described him as the first person who ever really cared about her, I said screw it and we've been out of touch for a few months now. I think you can understand the disappointment and pain for me that in the end I never was able to make her feel loved or truly cared about.

I've struggled a lot with that. I don't know whether to believe it or whether it's just crazy. We were together 5+ years and she never felt cared about? Sometimes I have all these doubts about what kind of a person I must be that my partner felt that way. When she started seeing this new fellow she told me I never cared about her needs whereas with him it was easy. I felt so angry because the whole damn relationship was my taking care of her needs and her yelling at me if I screwed up or wasn't completely neutral or cheerful about it. She told me I wasn't even half of a considerate person. And like I said, I still for 6 months after the breakup was trying to prove her wrong, even as she was making me feel this bad about myself and I was doing terrible in terms of my own mental well being.

As much as I've struggled with it, I'm actually grateful I heard that thing about the new guy caring for her in ways I never did. It snapped me out of the "fog" and made me realize that she has no idea what a healthy relationship is or what adults caring about each other actually means. She wanted a parent-child relationship. I remember realizing at some point while we were together that it felt like I was living with a teenage daughter who hated me. At the time I didn't know why or what to do about it, but I remember feeling that way. Her and this other fellow broke up after 3 months, I assume because she had the same kinds of expectations.

I read a book called Codependent No More which explained a lot about how I felt as I tried to fulfill that role over the years and the damage I'd done to my own needs and sense of self by inevitably placing her's first. I cannot recommend this book enough. Other concepts that I learned about and recognized deeply:

FOG (Fear Obligation Guilt)

[JADE]( (Justify Argue Defend Explain)

Karpman Drama Triangle

If she contacts you and you find yourself compelled to respond, examine your feelings closely and be mindful of why exactly you want to respond. Be on the lookout especially for feelings of obligation or guilt, or feeling sorry for her. Those aren't the basis for an adult relationship. Don't react. You have a right to trust your own perception of things and validate your own feelings. Take your time with everything and make your own life easy. You took on responsibilities in this relationship that weren't yours and were impossible to fulfill. Now enjoy the lightness of being yourself.

Sorry if that is presumptuous. In my reading on BPD it seemed these were common experiences of their partners. I hope some of it is useful and you can get on with your life and heal soon.

u/[deleted] · 1 pointr/BreakUps

Buy this book and read it.

It's less about meeting women and more about how to upgrade your lifestyle. It's about being a successful, confident and happy male. And surprise! Women like that kind of thing.

The book does not have any "lines", "tactics" or any of that other sleazy crap. It's just real advice on how to be a better man. I'm reading it now following my divorce and it's really helped me get away from feelings that were pretty much like yours.

u/MountainCouch · 2 pointsr/BreakUps

Pouring some love your way. Really sorry to hear about what happened. It might take you a while to get back on your feet but you will. Just hang in their. Just remember that it's always always always possible to recover no matter what life throws at you. You are stronger than you think and you will find a way to get past this and find peace, but it may take time.


It's times like these that we need to put our pride aside and ask for help.


I went through a really tough breakup a year ago and this book really helped me. It was recommended by my therapist.


u/kaylinpickles · 3 pointsr/BreakUps

also try this book by jackson mackenzie. he talks about how we often look to external distractions, work, addictions, perfectionism, social media etc but those only serve to feed our protective self which is the ego but never reaching the core wound. the only way to reach the core wound is actually through inner work which is unconditional love, compassion and forgiveness for yourself, acceptance, mindfulness, practicing nonjudgement etc :

patience is the key i guess. if shes really meant for you she WILL come back, you really need to believe this.

u/shahreturnz · 1 pointr/BreakUps

My condition was miserable after break up..I felt the world has ended and its the biggest and final failure of my life.
Unable to study, eat or sleep properly. I felt like unable to give my exams. It was a very tough time..God knows how I woke up the next week and gave my exams.

I tried to get advice from many friends but no advice worked. everyone was like go gym or date someone else or bla bla but I was not feeling satisfied. I prayed many times to get out of the miserable condition.
I reached to old school ways. Tips and tricks provided online and some ancient texts too. But the contents of this book were really applicable and relatable. I benefited a lot from the tips provided.

Forget Someone Easily

  • The best thing about the book was it helped me realize the importance of meditation in order to forget someone. Amazed? I was thrilled too to know that meditation can help you forget someone as I always heard that meditation only increases the memory.

  • Another good tip was the way it moved the situation to fast forward Future ... I was thrilled at this aspect of meditating in future. It was a lot helpful..


  • It does include some common sense based strategies which we often overlook.

    If anyone is going through that "phase' then it is a must read. Do yourself a favor and try to come out of this post-breakup phase as soon as you can. It eats a hell lot of time and energy and steals away your creative juices. I experienced a major change in my ability to lift in gym when I joined the gym after that episode. It had literally drained me. So act fast.
u/joshw220 · 2 pointsr/BreakUps

Here are some fashion references that I used and helped. It was also the style bible not fashion bible. lol

Dealing with conflict and having long relationships was something I had to build over time, and most of that will come with just working toward being the ultimate man woman desire. Having confidence, good direction in your life, lots of friends, good hobbies, good manners, being gentleman, having boundaries and standards. Don't be insecure or clingy. I didn't just read one or two books I read about 40 and at one point it became an obsession to be this ideal man woman desire.

u/SitStayShakeGoodGirl · 2 pointsr/BreakUps

I'm 2.5 years past the worst break-up I've ever experienced. Worse than my divorce... I was dumped; no warning signs, no changes in mood, nothing to tell me it was coming. Valentine's weekend- he stayed for 2 nights, we had great sex, went to breakfast, good conversation... then The Talk. I stayed in bed for about 2 weeks. Showers were few, crying was always, it was the worst pain. 4 weeks in, I realized I need someone to literally tell me how to get out from under the cloud. I bought a book to help me. I hate reading, but it promised to be helpful and I needed HELP. With that... I offer this link to you, with best wishes and the promise of better days ahead. There's a rule of thumb, 1 week of sadness for every month together. Unfortunately, that's not usually the case for the one who did the breaking up. ---->

u/timjimtim · 3 pointsr/BreakUps

I'm not sure if you could buy this in a book store but it's called "How to heal a broken heart" by Guy Winch. It's available on amazon (as hardcover or kindle version):

It's short but I think it's worth it. The writer has a couple of TED talks, here is one. It's about going through a breakup:

I hope I was able to help and good luck on your search!

u/passionatereds · 2 pointsr/BreakUps

This is exactly what I needed to hear right now. I have not heard of this guy before, but man, he has quite the imagination! I really enjoyed his style, and of course, this message. Thank you for posting this. I'll now be adding Sex at Dawn to my reading list!

u/Cody456 · 1 pointr/BreakUps

I have this book coming in the mail tomorrow. Fingers crossed it helps.

u/60yearoldME · 2 pointsr/BreakUps

also, this book is highly recommended.