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CBT is great, but it's sometimes not effective for people with high levels of internalised self-criticism (or shame). Check out Compassion Focused Therapy as a good stepping-stone from CBT (https://compassionatemind.co.uk/). For something like the Feeling Good vibe, the Irons book (https://www.amazon.co.uk/Compassionate-Mind-Workbook-step-step/dp/1472135903) is probably the most similar to the stuff you've done.

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Good luck!

Yeah I believe that you can justify all the distortions. But theyre still distortions. It even sounds like you know theyre distortions, which puts you farther ahead than many people.

I dont desire death ever. There are good and bad mental health professionals, but to say they are all useless is false and self-defeating.

It sounds like you're aware you have a problem, and you want to solve it, which is honestly half the battle. Most people don't even make it this far. Please talk to a mental health professional if you can afford to. I would also recommend reading this book if you can't afford one: https://smile.amazon.com/Feeling-Good-New-Mood-Therapy/dp/0380810336

You can find the book online for free. Feel free to PM me.

I'm not an expert on hormonal imbalances nor CBT. I thus think people other than me have better clue. But, if not, you might try allowing the mood to exist for a while until you feel calm. You might practice this so that you get calm easier and quicker.

Here's a reference that helped me to practice just that:
https://www.amazon.com/Minute-Meditation-Expanded-Quiet-Change/dp/0399173420

I recommend you reading the customer reviews.

Please excuse me for pointing out the obvious, but your first relationship really is with yourself.

You might gain a great deal by researching codependence. Often people who were born into & raised in less-than-stellar family systems (violence, fear, coldness, rejection) end up strongly codependent & reliant upon external validation instead of being able to comfort & strengthen themselves.

Codependence is (in my opinion) an unhealthy extension or exaggeration of the natural human need for connection. If you've been put through difficulties during your infancy & childhood, that will likely add some level of difficulty to your quest to establish a strong sense of self, because the natural human need for connection was flawed or denied when & where it counted most - when you were a helpless infant or small child.

But such a strong sense of self can be developed. There are many good books out there on the subject of overcoming difficult or neglected childhoods:

You can get a free preview here: https://www.amazon.com/Toxic-Parents-Overcoming-Hurtful-Reclaiming/dp/0553381407/ref=pd_lpo_sbs_14_t_0?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=VKAVXZ806G14AQ7GYFFT

And you can purchase that book & the next one from used-book sites for a fairly cheap price:

https://www.amazon.com/Adult-Children-Secrets-Dysfunctional-Families/dp/0932194532

My #1 Best Selling FREE book in Amazon's Cognitive Behavioral Therapy category:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B075Q49QPX (Free until September 27th)

I can strongly recommend this CBT approach targeted against social exposure. Very effective: https://www.amazon.com/Overcoming-Social-Anxiety-Shyness-2nd/dp/1472120434/ref=sr_1_16?keywords=shyness+social+anxiety&qid=1568587979&sr=8-16

I haven’t done CBT myself, I’ve done a bit of something called ACT which is like third wave CBT apparently. I would recommend this book which I’m still reading after getting it post-therapy sessions.

Sorry to hear about your experience with your dad, it’s no wonder you would struggle with associations between relationships and cheating with that intense and emotional history.

What helped me from ACT was the idea that we create ‘stories’ about ourselves that we tend to believe are true about ourselves or life. Such as “I’m always awkward”, or “I’m lazy”, or “relationships always end in infidelity”. It has really helped me to create distance; to remind myself that these are just stories. One exercise my therapist made me do was write a list of these down, in the negative.

For eg I wrote stuff like ‘I never get anything done’, ‘I’m always awkward’, ‘if something good happens, something terrible will happen’. Then on the opposite side of the paper she told me to write the opposite for each statement: ‘I always get everything done’. ‘I’m never awkward’. ‘If something terrible happens, something good will happen’.

See how ridiculous they sound? Neither the positive or the negative statements are true. Nothing is ever always one way. We just grow to believe it is, because our brains out built to figure out patterns. This used to be really useful for us when we needed go spot patterns in our caveman days, but now it’s more of a hinderance, and we will be helped by discovering our stories so that we can see them for what they are.

You mentioned something at the end I’ll have to come back to in an edit..

Back. Divorced a few months ago...caused your feelings to sky rocket, and you don’t know why. Well you do know why, you’ve just said it! Of course this divorce would bring all those feelings to the surface again. We always have a trigger, and if you know what that trigger is then you understand why your anxiety is suddenly amplified. It could be something big and in-your-face like your parents divorce, or it could be a little comment about relationships on reddit that you glanced over. But that’s what made you feel worse. It doesn’t make your fears any more true.

I wish I could give you more specific advice other than recommending this book. But that’s all I can personally say. Your fears are not your fault; anyone would be feeling the same way. But it doesn’t mean they are true. And because those fears are having an impact on your life you are doing the right thing by trying to discover ways to manage them.

I don’t know how much this stuff sounds like what you’ve already gone through with CBT?

I really strongly recommend How To Be Yourself -- it's all about social anxiety and CBT, it's been incredibly helpful for me personally.

For the adaptive thinking skills area, Tim Pychyl, the procrastination researcher, has some resources including the book, Solving the Procrastination Puzzle: https://www.amazon.com/Solving-Procrastination-Puzzle-Concise-Strategies/dp/0399168125 , or his rarely updated, but very useful Podcast: http://iprocrastinate.libsyn.com/

Awesome! Also, here's the link for the US store version

How about mindfulness meditation? Check out /r/meditiation, and also the excellent book Mindfulness in Plain English.

For me, this one did the trick or at least made me understand

Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy

GoodReads

I’m working through this one:

The Self-Esteem Workbook (A New Harbinger Self-Help Workbook) https://www.amazon.com/dp/1626255938/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_6iD3Cb5G5TTP7

And I absolutely have benefited from it. I recommend it to literally everyone I know.

This is probably THY seminal work that you need:

http://www.amazon.com/Interpersonal-Process-Cognitive-Therapy-Jeremy/dp/1568218583

I've been reading articles on decentering and almost all of them quote that Safran & Seagal's work.

Also, I don't know if it's valid but I think Hayes's Cognitive Defusion is the same kind of construct. You should check his work and see if it fits what you're looking for.

For social anxiety, you might also find this book useful.

There is no scientific evidence that magnesium helps with anxiety.

> and I’m trying to avoid it as much as possible

This is what most people do, but it's a good chance that it's this that keeps the vicious cycle going. You are essentially teaching your brain that it's actually something dangerous and it's vital that it keeps alerting you about threatening bodily symptoms.

CBT can absolutely help you. I can personally recommend the book
Anxiety and Avoidance by Michael Thompkins (link). This is a no-nonsense book on how to treat your anxiety. It's going to be hard, but it works, and the effects lasts.

Hey! I grabbed it off of Amazon. The copy is an older edition but was untouched, fortunately.

Here's the link:

When Panic Attacks: The New, Drug-Free Anxiety Therapy That Can Change Your Life https://www.amazon.com/dp/076792083X/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_8zy6BbXNNC11F

Therapist told me to use this in conjunction with TFGH. I figured it was a companion project by Dr. Burns; it is a separate workbook. Regardless, Dr. Burns' TFGH and this piece work well together for me.

Sorry for any confusion. Hope you dig it.