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In regards to the Chinese Restaurant question. (I didn’t know the best way to make sure everyone who asked about it saw it, so I’m posting a link to this comment in response to everyone who asked me to elaborate.) Please note that there are always exceptions, and that I’m talking specifically about the China roll / wok / star / 88 / dragon strip-mall type places.

Part of it comes from this – note that I have not read the whole thing. Most of it comes from observation and logic: I’ve eaten in Chinese take out places all over Florida, as well as some in Georgia and Texas, and noticed that there are several key similarities; I’ve taken long, hard looks at what it takes to open a business (including specifically restaurant concepts); and as you’ll see, I am familiar and have done business with similarly arranged groups. Please consider these in aggregate:

1. The menus are printed by the same printers (I don’t remember the name of the company but it’s based in San Francisco, there’s another printer in NY – I have no idea if they’re related). Same paper, layout, trifold, stock photos, menu items (though one store’s Hunan beef isn’t the same as another’s), etc. Given the cost of printing and shipping, let alone the fact that there are thousands of print shops all over the country, the fact that the China roll / wok / star / 88 / dragon places all use one or two printers is surprising.
   
   
2. Nearly 100% of these places are staffed 100% by 1st generation Chinese families. If you are familiar with how difficult and expensive it is to move a family from China, secure living arrangements, develop credit, obtain a storefront, prep it, get all the necessary licenses and permits, decorations, supplies, stock, menus, and so on, there has to be some kind of arrangement. Most native-born Americans (who have the advantages of language, familiarity with the area and culture, and are more likely to secure credit/financial backing through regular sources) would find it difficult to move to some random area of the country and open a small restaurant. I mean, how does a Chinese native from the back of beyond develop the familiarity and financial resources to find, let alone move to and open a restaurant in, Alachua, Fl or Statesboro, GA?
   
   I AM NOT IMPLYING THAT THERE IS A SECRET HUMAN TRAFFICING CHINESE MAFAIA MSG THING GOING ON but I am suggesting that while there may be some well off Chinese families who can afford to pack up, move over, and open a restaurant in a big city, there’s no way that there are so many families with the resources, training, and connections to just pack up and move to every county, suburb, and podunk town in America (and then, in addition to magically procuring all the money, paperwork, and etc needed to open a restaurant, somehow magically knowing that they’re supposed to order their menus from Company X and their supplies from Company Y). China has a huge population which is almost entirely mind-numbingly poor – step outside your western context and try to imagine how the average Chinese family could pull this off with nothing more than word-of-mouth.
   
   
3. Parsing and placement. You see burger joints across the street from each other, pizza places, chain restaurants, etc. You never see that with China wok / roll / star / whatever places. So a random Chinese family just crosses their fingers hoping that when they move to Gainesville, Fl that there will be not only an available / affordable storefront, but one which is far enough away from all the other Chinese take out places that they don’t need to worry about overlapping markets/delivery areas? As my original post pointed out, most Americans don’t seem to have that foresight, and they’re not dealing with having to move from fucking communist China.
   
   
4. Because my company does business with them, I know that there is a Korean Dry Cleaning Association that operates the same way. Like the Chinese take out places, they operate on a Sole Proprietor model instead of a Franchise model (could be cultural, could be legal, could be financial – my guess is all three), and their business model is the same: recruit a family in Korea, take care of the (insane) paperwork and red-tape required to get them to America, train them, move them to an appropriate location, provide the financial backing to buy or lease the location, laundry equipment, etc., etc. It’s not like all Koreans are born laundry experts, or have access to super cheap laundry equipment, etc. The association even does collective bargaining on their behalf – they have accountants, lawyers, and account managers who procure their supplies (even things such as collective bargaining for their energy supplies, which is how I know about them).
   
   The same applies to nail salons – does anyone think that Asian women are just born with both the ability and the resources to perform French manicures (which, by the way, require cosmetology licenses in most American jurisdictions), so they just jump on their invisible jets, fly over, wave their magical “instant storefront and housing needs wand”, charm the inspectors and landlords and suppliers with their magical “expense and bureaucratic red tape elimination rays” with the end result of opening a nail salons in an almost perfect “one every five miles” grid across the entire country? How would a random Asian woman (remember, all these people are 1st generation – if you don’t believe me, you’ve never been in one of these places) even know that Americans want their nails did? (“Oh, but they already have family over here that tells them and helps them come over and do the research and get the training and secure the finances and…” Excatly.)
   
   
5. While there is something to be said about the homogeneity of culture, the fact that almost all these places have the same dozen or so names?
   
   Someone mentioned Occam’s razor. Let’s look at the two possible scenarios:
   
   1) Random Chinese family (in a communist country, no less) packs up their family of 5-10 people, moves to some random little town or suburb in America, and with their best broken English (or lack thereof) manages to find a place to live and open a restaurant (presumably using money from their Chinese money tree). Using their inborn research and networking skills, they contact one of two print shops and suppliers in America and have them send over everything needed to open a restaurant. And since all Chinese immigrants are geniuses, they manage to have no issues with all the local legal and regulatory paperwork and all the tax requirements. Also using their inborn abilities and despite the fact that China is a huge country that comprises some dozen distinct cuisines none of which come close to resembling the Americanized stuff served in American Chinese take out places, they manage to create a menu that is 100% identical to every other Chinese take out menu. It’s the American dream!
   
   2) There are one or two groups which specialize in helping Chinese families move to America and open restaurants, including all the setup and training, legal intricacies, financial and credit requirements, taxes and accounting, location research, equipment provision, housing, etc.
   
   When you take all of these things into consideration, and then remember the history of how the Chinese first came to the west (railroad workers and the like intentionally brought over for a specific purpose – that’s why there is such thing as Chinese Cubans, the most amazing people on the planet, and why the Cuban paella pan looks more like a wok than the flat-bottomed, shallow Spanish version), #2 is much more in line with Occam’s razor than the alternative.

I pretty much went to the Amazon top-rated ones in the category; I got this one first and it's great, then when we built another bathroom next to my bedroom I bought one of these because I was curious about the warm water (it's nice, but it was a bit more difficult to install and takes time to warm up anyway). Both of them were a lot cheaper when I bought them 3-4 years ago; it looks like the top-rated one right now is this; I can't personally speak about it but the ratings are good. :)

Also I forgot to mention in my first post: toilet paper lasts basically forever. Using four to six squares just to dry off it takes me over three months to use a single roll.

Wow. He deserved a DUI big time. There is a fantastic book called Traffic which is all about driving. A lot of it focuses on the sociological effects of autos, the highway system, etc. Some of the most interesting stuff is about the psychological aspects of driving. I read it many years ago, so I am having a hard time explaining it. Suffice it to say it is a hundred times more interesting than you would think.

EDIT: HERE is a pic of the inside cover with a summation.

ALSO: The AMAZON page has a good Q and A about the book .

I need that even buffer of noise to sleep. In the summer, the AC in the window does the trick, but in the winter, all I can hear are my upstairs neighbor's footsteps and the delivery trucks at the convenience store next door. I got me an Electro-Mechanical Sound Conditioner. It's the best thing ever. It's like a fan, without the moving air.

For many years, I have used a Marpac Sleepmate for white noise. They generate the white noise by using a fan inside the housing. You can adjust the housing on the top and sides to adjust volume and pitch. It's a little miracle machine. If you need white noise in the room, I highly recommend getting one. They travel well, too. I take it with me whenever I am away.

> I'll point out to my male friends and say something like, "See that chick? She's pretty hot right? She's got fresh poo-bits down there right now."

Everyone Poops.

It was titled Boy. I read it to my son when he was about 10. We both loved it. The story about him being the seat warmer for the outhouse was the best.

You should look into one of these: http://www.amazon.com/Marpac-DOHM-DS-Natural-actual-Machine/dp/B000KUHFGM/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1426608309&sr=8-2&keywords=white+noise+machine

The adjustments allow you to choose the exact type of fan noise/tone that you want and it's been pretty easy to travel with for me.

I. Love. My. Bidet. This one is like a jet stream, so you can clean the surface or douche out your ass. Best thing ever.

https://www.amazon.com/Luxe-Bidet-Neo-120-Non-Electric/dp/B00A0RHSJO

READ THIS BOOK, "Toxic Parents." I wasn't one for self-help books but holy shit is this a great read. Each chapter I would read, I would say, "holy shit, my Mom/Dad/in-laws are just like that!" It will help you recognize the controlling, toxic patterns and see your parents for who they are: deeply damaged, toxic people, who manipulate, control, deprive, emotionally blackmail, etc. It's a GREAT antidote to getting toxic static out of your life. I'm not exaggerating when I say that this book saved my marriage and my life. It's absolutely empowering and ridiculously informative. Let the healing begin, and good luck.

edit: this one is great, as well.

I recommend looking into relaxation techniques and treatments for anxiety and phobias. There's a lot of stuff you can do by yourself, such as meditation and thought-substitution exercises that help you change "AAAAh, I can't stand it" into "oh, yeah, that's annoying. Oh well.". Check out this book: http://www.amazon.com/Anxiety-Phobia-Workbook-Edmund-Bourne/dp/1572248912/ref=dp_ob_title_bk for some good info - it really helped me a lot.

I use a foam roller, works every time. Put foam roller on floor, lay down on it so the roller is going across your back, not vertically. Roll up and down while letting your back relax.

Something like this one. It needs to be the very stiff kind otherwise it won't work.

http://www.amazon.com/Black-High-Density-Foam-Rollers/dp/B0040NJOA0/ref=sr_1_1?s=exercise-and-fitness&ie=UTF8&qid=1375449573&sr=1-1

This is the absolute best thing I ever bought.

I purchased a [Snoogle](http://www.amazon.com/Leachco-Snoogle-Total-Body-Pillow/dp/B0000635WI/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1394161187&sr=8-1&keywords=snoogle "snoogle")

It could be the best thing I've ever bought.

this book goes into it in depth. Great read.

Is it this book?

I'm going to give it a read. Sounds fascinating.

http://www.amazon.com/Huy-Fong-Sriracha-Chili-Sauce/dp/B0002PSOJW/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=grocery&qid=1291250780&sr=8-1

:)

It happens to me a lot. I tend to just remember the highlights.

The book "The Shallows: What the Internet Is Doing to Our Brains" [0] has a lot of insight into this process. Quick, easy access to lots of information doesn't always lend itself to retention.

[0] https://www.amazon.com/Shallows-What-Internet-Doing-Brains/dp/0393339750

It's like an affordable prototype of these types of pillows.

Like this?

www.amazon.com/Black-High-Density-Foam-Rollers/dp/B0040NJOA0

try one of these things. i got one when i moved to NYC and it changed my sleepy times forever. it replicates the fan noise with a motor instead of a speaker.

I've bought and used multiple ones over the years. There are many different kinds, different categories, each with their own advantages and disadvantages.

I've used this and this before. And my brother had something like this which was very luxurious. :-)

White noise maker, people!

At least 442 people do.

get one of these: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000KUHFGM/ref=oh_aui_search_detailpage?ie=UTF8&th=1

Pretty darn close

Life hack:

Medley Hills Farm Cereal Marshmallows 1 lb https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00WXZJTS4/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_LF7MDbS9M85RA

Amazon.com sells them. http://www.amazon.com/Dunkaroos-Cinnamon-Vanilla-Frosting-Sprinkles/dp/B000EMOCL2

Everyone poops.

Everyone Poops

Yes

Haven't you heard? Everybody poops.

This helped me a lot: http://www.amazon.com/Getting-Things-Done-Stress-Free-Productivity/dp/0142000280

http://www.amazon.com/Marpac-SleepMate-980A-Electro-Mechanical-Conditioner/dp/B000KUHFGM/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=hpc&qid=1261185882&sr=8-2

the only pillow you will ever need

It's marketed toward pregnant women but you need not be one.

$10 - this stuff works

OK

http://www.amazon.com/Huy-Fong-Sriracha-Chili-Sauce/dp/B0002PSOJW/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1288795126&sr=8-2

Here you go sir. Mother fucking Dunkaroos

Have you heard of these? I'm not prego but I want one so bad.

I have no use for this

This is the subject of the book "The Shallows", by Nicholas Carr. I don't completely agree with the guy, but it's thought provoking at least.


Ninja edit: Wait, I just saw the irony of recommending a book.

It started with fans. Big fans, little fans. Some were good and got me really hooked but none were perfect. I switched to sound machines later but found that the variations in the sounds (waves, bubbly brook, birds chirping) were too distracting. I finally found the perfect device. It is small, I can take it with me on trips and adjustable both in volume and tone.

This is the most awful, asinine, backwards invention ever.

What they need is the exact opposite of that. Mmmmm a whole pan of gooey brownies....

Do you dislike using a wipe when it is more dried out then the others? Conversely, what about the ones at the bottom of the pack that are wetter?

Have you considered this? OK I'm done [4]

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B003TPGPUW?cache=2cd08f4fad6a68b2827bb58efac0613c&pi=SX200_QL40&qid=1404177910&sr=8-1#ref=mp_s_a_1_1

http://www.amazon.com/Brain-Lock-Yourself-Obsessive-Compulsive-Behavior/dp/0060987111

Won't cure you, but will at least help you understand what the thought are all about, why you can't help them, and why you're free to ignore them. Screw shame: It's a completely useless emotion.

I want to buy a product like this, but I worry that it'll just be dollar store quality, made-in-China, crap.

http://www.amazon.com/Astor-Non-Electric-Mechanical-Attachment-CB-1000/dp/B003TPGPUW/ref=sr_1_1?s=kitchen-bath&ie=UTF8&qid=1427126441&sr=1-1&keywords=bidet

This is the one i have and it works flawlessly. no more skid marks in the boxers. No more ass rashes. no more dirt butt.

CBT is a fair bit of work. The psychiatrist gets you started and meets with you time to time to help with direction, but the onus is on you to do the work to see results.
There are two basic techniques that really helped me.

First one:

There are things we say in our head so often that we don't even hear them anymore. A good thing to call this is "self-talk". If you really think about an anxious event, you can slow down your thought process and figure out what automatic things you say to yourself.
For example, I suddenly had a problem driving in thick fog, wasn't sure why, I would get very anxious. When I really thought about it it was because I thought if anything should happen (some kind of health event, which was unlikely anyway) no one would see me and they wouldn't be able to find me in time to help me.

So, to counter this, you keep this little daily log to try and counter these thoughts, essentially trying to rewrite them in your head.

You would have a spreadsheet of sorts with these columns:
Column 1: Date (to track progress when you look back at it)
Column 2: "Describe: 1. Actual event leading to unpleasant emotion, or 2. Stream of thoughts, daydrea, recollection leading to unpleasant emotion."
Column 3: "1. Specify sad/anxious/angry, etc 2. Rate degree of emotion, 1 to 100"
Column 4: "1. Write automatic thought(s) that preceded emotion(s). 2. Rate belief in automatic thought(s), 0 to 100"
Column 5: "1. Write rational response to automatic thought(s) 2. Rate belief in rational response, 0 to 100."
Column 6: "1. Rerate belief in automatic thought(s), 0 to 100 2. Specifiy and rate your subsequent emotions, 0 to 100."

Fill out those and it helps to re-write the way you react to anxiety.

Second one:
Well know we set up false associations when it comes to anxiety, one of the things you do is attack that. Anxiety can also cause you to be a little on edge to say the least; snap at people, judge too quickly, etc. This helps with that.
You have a daily log/journal (to be used immediately or at the end of the day, the closer to the event, the better).

First you identify any cognitive distortions that attributed to the panic attack.

Here's the Checklist of Cognitive Distortions:

1. All-or-nothing thinking: You look at things in absolute, black-and-white categories.
   
2. Over generalization: You view a negative event as a never-ending pattern of defeat.
   
3. Mental filter: You dwell on the negatives and ignore positives.
   
4. Discounting the positives: You insist that you accomplishments or positive qualities don't count.
   
5. Jumping to conclusions:
   a) Mind-reading: You arbitrarily assume that people are reacting negatively to you.
   b) Fortune-Telling: You arbitrarily predict that things will turn out badly.
   
6. Magnification or minimization: You blow things way out of proportion or you shrink their importance.
   
7. Emotional reasoning: You reason from how you feel: "I feel like an idiot, so I must be one."
   
8. Should statements: You criticize yourself or other people with "shoulds," "shouldn'ts," "musts," "oughts," and "have tos."
   
9. Labeling: Instead of saying "I made a mistake," you tell yourself, "I'm a jerk" or "a loser."
   
10. Personalization and blame:
    a)You blame yourself for something you weren't entirely responsible for;
    b)You blame other people and overlook ways you contributed to a problem.
    
    There are times when a incident would combine close to all of these, sometimes just one or two.
    
    Then you would describe the event in a paragraph.
    List the emotions you had at the moment, rate intensity between 0 and 100
    Anger/
    Hopeless/
    Sad/
    Guilt/
    Frustration/
    Shame/
    
    Now the tough part.
    
    On the paper you would have three columns
    
    Negative thoughts (or thoughts that contributed to the anxiety)
    Cognitive Distortion (the cognitive distortion these thoughts describe)
    Positive thoughts (a more objective/realistic description of what actually happened, not how you perceived it at the time)
    
    Here is a sample from my own workbook:
    
    Negative thought: I'm never going to get better, I'm always going to be crazy! I'm so weak!
    Distortion: 1, 3, 4, 6, 7, 9
    Positive thought: You are getting better, you've had one setback. You've already noticed a difference, it took you a long time to develop this anxiety, it will take a while to fix. You are working day by day to be stronger and overcome this anxiety!
    
    These come from a book my Doctor uses with most of his anxiety patients.
    The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook.
    http://www.amazon.com/Anxiety-Phobia-Workbook-Edmund-Bourne/dp/1572248912/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1331055790&sr=1-1
    
    Hope this gives you an idea, and possibly help someone start on the way to overcoming anxiety.
    
    tldr; A couple of CBT techniques and a link to the book they came from.