Top products from r/FIREyFemmes

I've been here periodically but I haven't formally intro'ed myself so I'll do that here:

• I work in IT as an engineering/architecture level (tend to fall more in architecture roles, but do a lot of engineering too).
  
  
• Dream job... well, I might be starting it in a bit over a week. It's 100% remote (globally), working with a tech firm pushing technology in ways that break many of the traditional models, great benefits, amazing people, etc etc. I might post more later, but still seems too good to be true right now. If I had to say something else, probably consulting where I work remote architecting datacenters/cloud deployments and building the migration plans for them. Really jobs that challenge me technically while enabling me to work how I want to work, when I want to work.
  
  
• Likely driven, goal oriented, logical to a fault, and would do well going with my gut more. #EngineeringLife
  
  
• Dream vacation is kind of a misnomer for me, and my dream would be more of a vanlife thing at this point for a bit. Otherwise Australia/NZ
  
  
• I am watching a friends dog right now (about 5 months so far lol) while they look for a house. Need to get my own.
  
  
• I'm really proud of myself for completing a marathon. Crossing that finish line was one of the most rewarding feelings I've ever had on my own. Took 2 years from the goal being set to achieving it. I was in rough shape but would've cried if I had any fluids left to cry with lol
  
  
• Been reading a book about the newest research on psychadelics. It's pretty interesting. I'm a big advocate for ending the war on drugs, and more legalization of psychadelics for medical use (especially in therapeutic settings) if not full recreational. I've never used them, but strongly believe in their use for therapeutic use with minimal risks (I equate it to marijuana in this regard). The book is How to Change Your Mind.
  
  
• Neither. I prefer ginger ale, or stuff like La Croix. Although usually water, tea, and coffee are my go-to's.

For me, it's a bit cheesey but after reading the Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo, I truly felt that my life was changed. In total, I have tidied up my place twice, the first time only my clothes and the 2nd time, doing my entire apartment. Each time, I've felt a perspective change after. The biggest thing beyond tidying your house was how that book forces to confront your past decisions and change the way you make new ones. I try to do things that "spark joy" for me and this goes beyond shopping or spending money. Speaking of shopping, after you tidy, you are much more careful about buying new things, how you're spending your money and what you're bringing home. Once I finished my tidying festival, as Marie calls it, I was able to shift my focus on to more important things like FIRE and doing thigns in my life that sparked joy.

This is so, so important for all women to understand and think through. I support anyone's choice to stay home with their children, but there are big risks to this, and assuming you will continue to stay married is a big assumption to make.

This is a really interesting book on the subject:

https://www.amazon.com/Feminine-Mistake-Are-Giving-Much/dp/1401309380

As a mom of two girls, I also think about what example I want to set for them, and to me it's really important to model working and being a parent. It's doable with a supportive spouse (which is another very important thing for them to see, being in an equitable relationship). Yes, sometimes I feel like I'm 'failing' on both ends (as a perfect mom, and as a perfect worker), but fuck perfectionism!

I sometimes wonder if our current cultural era of intensive and perfectionistic parenting is really hurting women in the long-run....

Did a lot of soul search in the last two years. In terms of life purpose two books totally changed my life The Book of Joy: Lasting Happiness in a Changing World by the Dalai Lama and Archbishop Desmond Tutu and The Gratitude Diaries. The first was life changing and inspiring looking at how people can thrive, love, and find happiness even during the worst of times (the invasion of Tibet, apartheid in South Africa). The second was on practical application of gratitude and moving away from materialism in an everyday manner.

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Most impactful quote for me is from my grandfather: "Anything more than $10 is expensive, for once I prayed for even a grain of rice."

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My grandfather grew up on a farm in southern China, during the Japanese occupation most of his village starved. He then studied incredibly hard and got into law school only to be thrown in a labor camp during the Communist revolution. His daily allotment of food a the camp was a bowl of rice. Later he and my grandmother escaped to Hong Kong where he worked as an A/C salesman and become a manager. But, when they moved to America he spoke no english and had to start over as a dishwasher. He's a guy that knows the value of every dollar and have saved his entire life - my grandfather and grandmother retired with $1M+ in savings and a pension.

I'm happy it's Friday! Tomorrow, Boyfriend and I are making a run of stuff to the new house. We ran out of plastic tubs a few days ago, so it was a nice excuse to put off packing for a few days. (And we have enough buffer that we're not at the "throw stuff in anything resembling a container!!" stage yet). Once we have done that, then there's only a little more of my stuff to pack and then a bunch of shared stuff (kitchen, etc), so I'm feeling pretty relaxed. I'm also still looking at what wine rack to buy for the house. Though it's a tiny (tiny) bit excessive, I'm leaning towards this one. It's a wine jail so it has an ornate door on it. I figure now is the time to (reasonably) splurge.

I'm 5% of the way through my "finish before I move" book. Still a ways to go, but progress. I'm also making 18 cat blankets for the local shelter. I'm on the final step of 11 of them and halfway through the other 7, so that's progress also.

So, yeah, I'm looking forward to continuing to plug away at the moving prep "to do" list

Halloween Costume update for anyone interested in these things. :)

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I have Morticia's nails ordered. Wanted to get them before the Halloween rush.

I used this company for my Halloween nails last year (dark mermaid/siren) and they worked great. I love that they soak off with water.

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Still searching for the right dress and the right suit for Gomez.

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Did a ton of research and decided to try a semi-permanent hair dye since my hair is dark brown, not true black. I've never dyed my hair before and don't want this to be a lasting effect (I'd like it to last as few shampoos as possible), so I'll probably go with Manic Panic. If anyone has experience with using this, I'm all ears! (I did watch a few youtube tutorials/reviews too.)

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I probably should set a dollar limit on what I'll spend for Halloween each year - this is hard for me because I use and re-use costumes, but I also want my costume to be perfect. I want someone to look at me and instantly know who I'm dressed as (assuming they've seen the movie), not to have to guess.

Truth in advertising, I don’t really know how to work on cars. I might know a little more about it than the average lady because I drove clunkers for the first ten years of driving and I’ve had a lot of things go wrong with them. But I generally bring my cars into a mechanic for anything more than the most simple maintenance. The project car would mostly be fun because I could learn more without being worried about screwing up my daily driver 😂

https://www.amazon.com/Girls-Auto-Clinic-Glove-Guide/dp/1501144111

I’ve been flirting with reading this book, mb we can do it for book club some month.

Edit: no judgement for being a subro 😂😂😂

The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron

It's putting me on a path that may not align with the RE of FIRE, but is slowly stepping me towards things I enjoy. Do I really enjoy being a hardware engineer in industry? No. Can I use the tenets of FIRE to manage my money to allow for a more flexible and enriching life? Yes! And I'm mid-plan on executing that change which was crafted d during the 12 weeks of working through this book.

EDIT: I also did the Marie Kondo tidying during this stage so that helped too!

the simple path to wealth by JL Collins

I suggest reading some personal finance blogs before getting books. information in bite size pieces, so you won’t feel overwhelmed, you can get a general consensus from many bloggers, and you will realize that investing and planning for retirement isn’t super complicated.

And podcasts! I am really into Suze orman’s new podcast “women and money”

[Nudge: Improving Decisions About Health, Wealth, and Happiness] (https://www.amazon.com/Nudge-Improving-Decisions-Health-Happiness/dp/014311526X)

Written by Nobel prize winning economist Richard H. Thaler. Also a nice follow-up to some of the ideas of Scarcity but more from a "what can we actually do about it" angle.

I love Equality Illusion: The Truth about Women and Men Today by Kat Banyard.

The book discusses many studies to try and bring answers to questions like why do women have a harder time negotiating a raise (answer: a women who asks for a raise is seen as hard, vindictive, a "bitch"...), why are women more risk adverse (little boys are encouraged to take risks like not backing out of going on the tallest slide wile girls are told to mind their dress) or more patient (baby boys are picked up by their parents much faster than baby girls when they cry, two out of three times teachers will ask a boy to provide an answer to a question instead of a girl)...

It's my go-to book when I hear comments like "women are more X".

I highly suggest earplugs. I am a light sleeper and noises from neighbors would drive me batty (even when not trying to sleep). I bought these from amazon and they have been a life saver Flents Quiet Please Ear Plugs (50 Pair) NRR 29 https://www.amazon.com/dp/B001J4HB1C/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_v5HUDbGV8X6DJ

I second this suggestion! I get really fixated on noises sometimes and so I need to basically block them out 100%. I use https://amzn.to/2ptpBYQ and they're really comfortable (I'm a side sleeper). Also the bag has lasted me 2 years!

On mobile, hope this works correctly. This is what we use for seedlings: Light and mat

I want to build an indoor basement grow room so we can grow throughout the winter but that requires serious lighting, temp, and air control.