Top products from r/Infidelity
We found 53 product mentions on r/Infidelity. We ranked the 14 resulting products by number of redditors who mentioned them. Here are the top 20.
1. Not "Just Friends": Rebuilding Trust and Recovering Your Sanity After Infidelity
Sentiment score: 8
Number of reviews: 3
Not Just Friends
2. Transcending Post-infidelity Stress Disorder (PISD): The Six Stages of Healing
Sentiment score: 0
Number of reviews: 2
3. Semen Detection Test Strips, Infidelity Test Kit (5 Pack)
Sentiment score: 1
Number of reviews: 2
Test any item for semenResults in secondsNot a consumer toy. Used by actual forensic detectivesContains 5 test strips
4. Ten Stupid Things Men Do to Mess Up Their Lives
Sentiment score: 1
Number of reviews: 1
5. Ten Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives
Sentiment score: 0
Number of reviews: 1
Great product!
6. A Beautiful, Terrible Thing: A Memoir of Marriage and Betrayal
Sentiment score: -1
Number of reviews: 1
PLUME
7. Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life: The Chump Lady's Survival Guide
Sentiment score: 0
Number of reviews: 1
Running Press Book Publishers
8. How to Help Your Spouse Heal From Your Affair: A Compact Manual for the Unfaithful
Sentiment score: 7
Number of reviews: 1
How to Help Your Spouse Heal from Your Affair
9. The Jesus Quiz: Surprising Answers for W.W.J.D.
Sentiment score: 2
Number of reviews: 1
11. Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs
Sentiment score: -1
Number of reviews: 1
A Focus on the Family BookSigned first edition by Dr. Emerson EggerichsA Marriage Book with a Difference!
12. Broken Covenant: Living With Unfaithfulness, Coping With The Issues
Sentiment score: 0
Number of reviews: 1
13. Spytec M2 Waterproof Magnetic Case for GL300 Real-Time GPS-Trackers
Sentiment score: 0
Number of reviews: 1
Magnetic Weatherproof Case - Provides FIRM Magnetic Mount which is the key to knowing the Spy Tec M2 case will remain securely attachedThe sturdy and waterproof design is perfect for long term GPS tracking, suitable for use on moving vehicles outdoors - keeping the interior safe from moisture and co...
Part II
Because of all this family baggage, I seek out attention, and love from outside sources. It comes from admiration, physical touch, etc.
After all of this, my wife didn't leave, but we changed the dynamic of our healing. Instead of us looking to what was lacking in the relationship we started looking at me.
There are two books that I recommend to waywards who want to rebuild the relationship of their marriage. Both of these are not "get your needs met by your wife" but more of the you need to fix the shit inside you that allowed you to have affairs.
Here is what we started with:
How to Help Your Spouse Heal From Your Affair: A Compact Manual for the Unfaithful by Linda J. McDonald
r/https://www.amazon.com/Help-Your-Spouse-Heal-Affair/dp/145055332X
This book is a quick read, she based this book on the next one that I am going to give you in a few lines.
I am going to give you Mcdonald’s list of 15 actions that a wayward spouse should be doing to help the betrayed feel safe in the relationship.
Waywards who want to rebuild the marriage:
• are non defensive
• examine their motives for their affairs, without blaming their spouses
• accept their roles as healers to their wounded partners
• do not resist breaking off all contact with the affair partner
• show genuine contrition and remorse for what they have done
• make amends and apologize to loved ones
• apologize often, especially the first two years
• listen with patience and validate their spouses’ pain
• allow their spouses a lot of room to express their feelings
• respect the betrayed spouse’s timetable for recovering
• seek to assure spouses of their love and commitment to fidelity
• keep no secrets
• do not maintain close ties with those who condoned the affair
• are willing to be extremely accountable for their time and activities
• frequently check in with spouses as to how they are doing
• are aware of and anticipate triggers of the affair
• are willing to get rid of hurtful reminders of the affair
• don’t minimize the damage the affair had on the children
• commit themselves to a long-term plan for recovery, honesty, and spiritual growth
This book is 90 pages long, and it can be read in an evening by someone who reads quickly. For someone who is a slower reader it takes a weekend. if the wayward says its too hard to read, or takes too long to read it then it is showing you they think they don’t need to do much to help you heal. They need to understand that this work requires a shit ton of work on their part and they need to act. Promises don’t make it in this game.
The next book is what I consider the best book on healing infidelity written in the last 20 years.
Not Just Friends: Rebuilding Trust and Recovering Your Sanity After Infidelity by Dr. Shirley Glass PhD.
r/https://www.amazon.com/Not-Just-Friends-Rebuilding-Recovering/dp/0743225503
This book is a much longer and deeper book, but it really digs into what the wayward needs to do in order to help you figure out what has happened. It talks about how actually speaking about the affair helps build trust. It talks about how the details of the affair help you piece together the missing history that you don’t have in your head. It talks about boundaries and how boundaries play a part in the beginning of the affair. While it can be hard to read by a betrayed spouse, the information contained is so good that It should be read.
Again, this book can be triggery but information it has and the treatment plan it lays out can and will help a betrayed and a wayward to heal their relationship if they both are committed to it.
>Should I let sleeping dogs lie?
Strangely (see my post history) in this case, I say, yes.
That doesn't mean be stupid or naive, but is she the same person now? Do you have concerns about her loyalty to you? Is he still in your lives?
If you can do this without traumatizing yourself, run this test game in your head. Assume that something happened and that she is not wanting to talk about it. Look at her now and ask yourself - is this relationship worth letting that go? If it is, let it go.
Unless she is a sociopath, psychotic, or narcissistic, it is highly unlikely (HIGHLY unlikely) that something happened without you having a serious sense that something was 'off'. There ARE people who can willfully sleep with everything that moves and not give a crap ... but even then, if you are honest with yourself, there are signs that they don't care that much about you in other ways (see chumplady.com).
I can see equally as much the scenario where they are talking about increasingly personal issues (oooo that slippery slope) such as his experience with premature ejaculation prior to his reaching out and touching her and her being super embarrassed to say anything about his 'grooming' her to be receptive because she "should've known" should've recognized where he was heading before he showed his cards. In which case, her guilt is being young, naive, and a listening ear.
Can I promise that this was the case? Nope. Just running on instinct here.
So, bigger issue. What do you do with this? How about taking these thoughts as an impetus to work toward building an excellent marriage? I have a few friends with excellent marriages, and they WORK at it. They participate in marriage seminars (in their case, at church, but there are secular ones) and they do at least one a year. They don't really do marital counseling, because they aren't "working on issues", but they DO take marriage classes to learn (or refresh) their marriage building skills (and to surround themselves with other people who value marriage).
You can be smart and pay attention (attention is a hard thing - it's a focus thing) to your wife. Be aware of how she ticks, her likes, her loves. Notice her. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nVI9PzRRZsw https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vfvD_jt9R-s
I also highly recommend this book: https://www.amazon.com/Love-Respect-Desires-Desperately-Needs/dp/1511368926 I found it when I was In the middle of what I later found out was my husband's 3ish year affair with my best friend - at the lowest point when he was angry and evil and terrified and gaslighting me and actually lying to me (because I finally started getting suspicious) that I was going to find out and she was playing mind games with me, hoping to drive me out of the marriage or cause me to kill myself (apparently she had already tried to get him to have me 'have an accident' - literally I read that in the texts) - and he was letting her. At that deep horrible pit of despair, and at his most unworthy, this book turned us around within 1 month. And I was the only one participating.
So you can only imagine what it can do for you.
*Again, I remind you to look at my post history and see that I NEVER recommend turning a blind eye. I never recommend being a chump. I always recommend standing up for yourself. Please don't mistake my idea here.
If he's doing something that he wouldn't do in your presence that's cheating. The fact that he's deleting messages should be obvious.
The trickle truth is for his benefit only. https://www.chumplady.com/2015/07/the-trickle-truth-is-neither-trickle-nor-truth/
And so is the gaslighting, lies of omission https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/here-there-and-everywhere/201701/11-signs-gaslighting-in-relationship
You need IC definitely and MC. He should be the one who has to fix things.
Tell him you want to speak to this woman, his reaction will be revealing.
This book is good and appropriate . You should read it together if he is interested in the marriage
https://www.amazon.com/Not-Just-Friends-Rebuilding-Recovering/dp/0743225503
I'm reading this right now. It's pretty insightful.
https://www.amazon.com/Transcending-Post-infidelity-Stress-Disorder-PISD/dp/1587613344
Maybe this semen test kit will help. Heck, maybe just telling him you’ve ordered it with overnight shipping will get him to confess.
https://www.amazon.com/Semen-Detection-Test-Strips-Infidelity/dp/B00152LYDY
https://www.amazon.com/Semen-Detection-Test-Strips-Infidelity/dp/B00152LYDY
just looking at reviews on amazon tells me there's no good kits offered to the public. I've pondered testing my husbands underwear and have come to realize that if I cannot trust him I should leave.....
Find Solutions. Get the tools to experience restoration for infidelity
Kindle:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07PKH267L
Paperback:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/1799047865
https://www.amazon.com/Spy-Tec-Portable-Personal-Vehicle/dp/B00JG8KCLO/ref=sr_1_4?keywords=personal+asset+tracker&qid=1556715137&s=gateway&sr=8-4
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00L1G6GCS?aaxitk=Yv0IoN7dF2xJ4eatsTdYig&pd_rd_i=B00L1G6GCS&pf_rd_p=3fade48a-e699-4c96-bf08-bb772ac0e242&hsa_cr_id=9100877170101&sb-ci-n=asinImage&sb-ci-v=https%3A%2F%2Fimages-na.ssl-images-amazon.com%2Fimages%2FI%2F81OwWcCAYlL.jpg&sb-ci-a=B00L1G6GCS
Give him this book to read.
I'm not sure if you like to read at all, but there's some books that have helped me a lot.
"Transcending Post Infidelity Stress Disorder" - Dennis Ortman
"A Beautiful, Terrible Thing: A Memoir" - Jen Waite
I am not a married spouse, I am in my twenties, so there's some aspects of your story I cannot relate to. However I am in a long term relationship with someone who has cheated on me both online and physically, and I have cheated on him physically. The biggest thing that helped me with his infidelity was being able to ask questions, even though they were uncomfortable and painful. Neither of us will ever fully understand why the other did what they did, but knowing the details helped me heal tremendously. This is something you should mention during therapy if you decide to continue it. If neither of you can communicate your feelings and check in with each other regularly about your needs, a lot of things will be compartmentalized and repressed until they just boil and explode. Good luck, I'm glad to hear you've (mostly) worked things out.