Top products from r/MolecularGastronomy

I was given this kit several years ago: http://www.amazon.com/Artistre-Molecular-Gastronomy-Experimental-Assortment/dp/B00OIC5KII . I greatly enjoyed it but some things aren't super useful to me and a customized kit would have been excellent

Suggestions:

a scale! http://www.amazon.com/American-Weigh-0-01g-Digital-Scale/dp/B0012LOQUQ/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1418959233&sr=8-1&keywords=american+weigh+scale is what I used to use, super cheap and mostly accurate (i suggest also buying a few calibration weights to make sure of that). If you want to spend a touch more get one with either a larger platform or a display that won't be covered but 0.01g resolution is really important. I use a lab scale now but I still have the AWS for when I'm traveling or for when I need a second scale. Most of these compounds are essentially useless without a scale though

anti static dishes are handy but not essential. However I love having them around http://www.amazon.com/Eagle-Thermoplastics-WB-158-100-Polystyrene-Anti-Static/dp/B00CQB5SFS/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&qid=1418959559&sr=8-4&keywords=anti+static+dish is an example, you can probably find cheaper (and could get away with less as you could wash with soap and water and be okay versus a lab that would just dispose them to avoid any chance of contamination)

2-4mL disposable pipettes are super cheap (think 5 bucks for 100+) and incredibly handy, especially for weighing small amounts of liquids and plating

as for additives and such; personally i would start with the easy yet dramatic results. N-Zorbit is just fun to use and gives really neat results quickly, sodium citrate for fancy cheese sauces, lecithin and xanthan gum to emulsify and thicken sauces, etc. It's hard to make other recommendations without knowing what he wants to do and what his interests are.

In terms of barbecue I don't use much, MSG for spice rubs if that counts and calcium silicate for an anti-caking agent when I make spice rubs in bulk. For sauces I sometimes use the modified starches to thicken; Ultratex because it's essentially flavorless or xanthan because it's effective in small amounts.

or just get a gift certificate for modernist pantry. they ship internationally and are very helpful. Willpowder also ships internationally but only to certain countries.

Well you can't really infuse anything into the dry ice because the industrial systems used to produce it use multistage separation and cooling. You might be able to do a "soak", but what you will get is an outer coating of your liquid that is frozen around the dry ice pieces. Then you could throw these into your drinks and watch the fireworks go off. This will almost certainly have the exact same effect as if you had just thrown in dry ice pieces into the drink, since the coating will dissolve into the liquid faster than being attached to the CO2 gas. But if that's what you want I would break up everything into the sizes you want, throw them into a cooler (the dry ice will be your main source of temperature regulation, so make sure it is well insulated), and let it do its thing. Not sure how long these will last, so it would be best to make them within a couple hours of serving time

If what you are going for is to have the sublimating CO2 carry your flavor compounds into the air, you're going to have to go via a different route. A couple modernist restaurants do this type of thing, where they build a center piece and pour their aromatic liquid over it. This massively changes the perceived flavors (and adds a bit of showmanship to the dinner), since a good portion of taste is dependent on associated smells. Here is the Fat Duck doing it.

If you wanted the drink to carry the smoke, rather than a center piece, then you are going to need some custom glassware. Not sure what your budget is, but you could have something designed and made to suit your needs. If that seems a tad too much, I would build something from existing glassware. Take a normal glass and throw one of these short test tubes on the side, or get some plastic tubing and run it spiraling around the outside of the glass (just depends on your style and what you are going for). After that you can fill up the well with dry ice dust, and when you are ready to present pour in some aromatic liquid. You're going to want to make sure nothing comes out while your guests are drinking from their glass, so I would recommend a stopper of some sort that you have heavily perforated or something porous like a piece of sponge that you have cut to the right shape.

Not sure if this answers your question, but I tried to cover all possible bases. Best of luck with your cocktails!

Also, I would mention that Modernist Cuisine at Home is an awesome book. It has some awesome recipes and the techniques they use have helped me in other areas of my cooking.

Also, does your husband have a sous vide? If not, I would ABSOLUTELY start with a sous vide. It's not as gimmicky as some of the other molecular gastronomy things and it has so many applications that it will become a staple in his kitchen as it has mine. I personally love the Anova Sous Vide, I have two of them. If you want to find out more about sous vide (used by Heston at Fat Duck and Thomas Keller at the French Laundry) check out /r/sousvide. Lots of great ideas and techniques just in that sub alone. Hit me up if you have any more questions.

I would look at this website http://www.modernistpantry.com/. This will have a lot of the ingredients. However, I agree with the rest. Things like an anova, a whipping siphon, or thermometer (thermapen) are extremely helpful but outside your budget. The other extremely important tool I'd invest in is a good scale, since some ingredients are sensitive to 0.1g differences (a la this http://www.amazon.com/dp/B002SC3LLS/).

This tool work very well for making larger amounts.

Don't buy these overpriced marketed-for-making-caviar items. Just go with the tried and true 96-well Bel-Arts Vaccu-Pette. You'll have to procure a 30mL syringe on your own, but it's markedly cheaper than the option above. The Vaccu-Pette is a laboratory-grade item used for tissue culture (I have used many in the lab), but is also often used by restaurants and home enthusiasts alike to make 96 caviar per drop.

http://www.amazon.com/Water-Distiller-Countertop-Enamel-Collection/dp/B00026F9F8

(or any cheaper alternative)