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I know that feel. I didn't have the exact same experience but something similar. It's cliche but the saying 'time heals all wounds' does apply. Although you may feel overwhelmed now, you have some AMAZING joys/life experiences ahead of you. If he chooses not to participate, that's his life choice and not something you can control. Focus on what you can do to make life easier for you and your little bump.

Being pregnant and doing this on your own can also be a good thing. Getting pregnant and finding out I was on my own really motivated me to finish my masters degree. I needed to support not just myself but my family now. I got into Columbia University, gave birth the second week of my first semester and finished my MS with nearly straight As and a 2 year old. It wasn't easy, but it was an amazing experience and I think I really value my education and my daughter more because I did it on my own. You find out how strong you are and you can really take pride in that. You should be proud of yourself already, play pens are still hard for me to set up!


Also, this book helped me a lot: http://www.amazon.com/Single-Womans-Guide-Pregnancy-Edition/dp/1451502737/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1372568263&sr=8-1&keywords=single+guide+happy+pregnancy

There is no easy fix to this. I am almost 30 and struggle with it frequently. Personally for me what helped the most was being in school getting my bachelor's in child and family studies. The degree doesn't do alot if youre looking to make money when youre done but it was heavily focused on self growth and development. Some of the books we read included "parenting from the inside out" "7 habits of highly effective people" (Cliche' I know), and "A man's search for meaning". While these books were useful tools, it helped that the professors I had encouraged people to discuss their lives, struggles, Journal (but constructively, not just your struggles but when you overcome them, and set goals for yourself, document your downfalls and triumphs and review when youre down) and to stay off of social media. Unplug completely. this is something I still do when I feel overwhelmed with being a single parent. Also I know it is hard but if you can have your little one help with all the mundane stuff (like housework) it can help make it a sharing moment rather than I need to get this done moment. (I personally struggle with that from time to time, I don't know if you do). I am sorry youre struggling, please keep your head up. you will raise a strong woman and when she is older you are allowed to have fun with her while all those friends will be raising babies.

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https://www.amazon.com/Parenting-Inside-Out-Self-Understanding-Anniversary-ebook/dp/B00HZ1E5BM/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2Q560RPRBOPQZ&keywords=parenting+from+the+inside+out+book&qid=1556573094&s=gateway&sprefix=parenting+from+the%2Caps%2C142&sr=8-1

https://www.amazon.com/Mans-Search-Meaning-Viktor-Frankl/dp/080701429X/ref=sr_1_2?crid=17U8X5LTV3VED&keywords=victor+frankl+man%27s+search+for+meaning&qid=1556573116&s=gateway&sprefix=victor+fra%2Caps%2C143&sr=8-2

https://www.amazon.com/Habits-Highly-Effective-People-Powerful-ebook/dp/B01069X4H0/ref=sr_1_3?crid=3JN0J6CGL5KOP&keywords=7+habits+of+highly+effective+people&qid=1556573140&s=gateway&sprefix=7+ha%2Caps%2C146&sr=8-3

Oh that sounds soo hard! I feel you. FWIW no one knows instinctively how to be a good parent. We all need help. Maybe some of us are better at it than others like with anything. But you sound like you're making a good effort, and that's what it takes to be a good parent.

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Depending on where you live, you might be able to qualify for financial help paying for your daughters daycare or preschool so you can work more.

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I don't want to repeat what others have said, so I'll recommend some parenting books that have been helpful for me.

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I also have issues with yelling at my kids sometimes, and this book has helped me a LOT to stay calm and not yell. https://www.amazon.com/Now-Say-This-Parenting-Dilemma/dp/014313034X

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I like the articles on this website a lot and have turned to them for help. Here is an article about setting limits so kids will listen: https://www.handinhandparenting.org/2018/08/dont-get-mad-get-curious-setting-limits-that-kids-listen-to/

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I also like this website a lot, and here is an article about structuring routines for your family: https://www.ahaparenting.com/parenting-tools/family-life/structure-routines

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Chin up, it sounds to me like you're already a good dad. Just the fact that you are reaching out for help and want to be a good dad means you're heading in the right direction.

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You're wonderful. I'm a single mom and it's tough, I wish you all the luck. Some books I've found- based in the age of her kids.

Honest toddler:
http://www.amazon.com/The-Honest-Toddler-Childs-Parenting/dp/1476734771

Toddlers are A**holes:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0990592898/ref=pd_aw_fbt_b_img_2?refRID=143CABN3JSCS68Q317QX

Single mothers survival guide:
http://www.amazon.com/The-Single-Mothers-Survival-Guide/dp/1580910637

One more:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0595397522/ref=pd_aw_sbs_2?pi=SL500_SY115&simLd=1

Is this going to be anonymous? If not, ask to borrow her car one day. Say yours is in the shop. Fill it up with gas, wash it, change the oil, whatever you can afford to do.

If she has things on layaway, go pay them off.

These are mostly all monetary things, I know, but it sounds like she may be struggling a bit on that end.

Nominate her or put her name in for draws, raffles, anything. I know the radio stations here sometimes have a week where you can nominate someone awesome for whatever. This could be a good way to do things anonymously.

If you are close to the friend, you can do little things through her. Get her a gift certificate for something, have the friend say she won it and won't use it.

Good luck!!

>It all depends on my mood at the time.

This is going to send very mixed signals to your child. Consistency is important. I would recommend some parenting classes/coaching, I know there are several free resources where I live. For books, SOS Help for Parents is very basic but was helpful to me.

Parenting with two parents isn't easy, either. I would focus on educating yourself about parenting and discipline techniques, and find what feels right to you.

I say this as a (now) single parent to three kids who was raised in a very abusive environment. I am worlds better at parenting than I was 7 years ago, because I have worked hard to change from what I was taught was 'normal'. My best advice is, if it doesn't feel right to you, it probably isn't.

That you are posting here is a great sign, just educate yourself and you'll find what works for you and your family.

I would recommend finding a "kids lunch" cookbook like this. That really helped me when I was new to making kids lunches every day, to get some ideas besides pb&j and a bananna! My son has helped pack his own lunch since the 1st grade. Of course when he was younger, I did most of the work! But we would sit down together every weekend & make a lunch plan for the week where he picked what he wanted. It really helps with the grocery shopping too (not buying unnecessary stuff). Anyhow, when he was in grade school, every night I would make the main part (sandwich, wrap, pasta, ect.) & he would add the sides (fruit, veggie, chips, ect.). Now that he is older (13), we still make the weekly lunch plan & he makes his own lunch every night. Well, nobody's perfect, so not every night! We all as single parents have those days where it's easier to stuff cash in their backpack, right?

SUPER! You have a grandma and an aunt in the picture. Use them. BUT, you are her parent. You make the calls. I have bigger, meaner fights with my mom now than ever in my life and they all revolve around how I expect her to act around or what she can and cannot do around my boy or let him get away with.

Bathing is easy, just get in with her and clean up. Our families rule of thumb is boys can bathe with dads for years, moms until boobs start getting asked about. Girls with moms for years and dads until the first wiener grab. So you have at least a year.

Smart and amazing, of course. Talk to her. Use adult words, explain everything and just jabber away. You actually will improve her vocabulary later in life.

As far as choking, avoid hotdogs & grapes. Cut them horizontally or longitudinally. Ya know, lengthwise. They are designed to choke kids, for real. My cousins are ER nurses and hotdogs can really be dangerous.

Best purchases ever

This tactical flashlight has a dim red setting and you can change a diaper without waking the kid.

This floatie got my kid swimming own his own by 18 months, our favorite trick was having him leap into pools and give old folks heart attacks... We are horrible.

Something like this would be good. "Sing-Along" songs and the like. Things like "The Wheels on the Bus" and "Itsy Bitsy Spider." Because of your disability, though, maybe you could start her with a "children's sing-along song" DVD, that shows the subtitles across the bottom. That way you could sing along with her. I'm not very educated on deafness and how you could interact with her in that way, I'm sorry. Maybe there are "sing along" DVD's in which they show the verbal words spoken as subtitles along with how to sign the songs...? I wish I could be of more help.

This book lifted a lot from me. I've been right where you are, it gets easier and better. Stay strong. Sending hugs


https://www.amazon.com/Forgive-When-Dont-Feel-Like/dp/0736921486

She needs firm boundaries.

My daughter is like this too. And if you're like me, you're having a hell of a time some days even getting dressed much less putting dinner on the table and dealing with all the things.

Setting Limits with Your Strong-Willed Child

This book helped me immensely. They want to know that when you say something you mean it. They will constantly test those boundaries. And your nerves. But it gets better. Sometimes she believes me when I tell her I'm going to set the timer if she doesn't stop doing X. And then I don't even have to set the timer because she already knows mom means business.

Single mom here. Got this book for my 9 year old son and I read it then he did on his own. I emphasize it is all normal, and not to shame.
https://www.amazon.com/Boys-Body-Book-Everything-Growing/dp/1604337133

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B004IK8Q22?btkr=1

Summer Infant My Size Potty, White https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B01LYP2W3L/ref=cm_sw_r_wa_apa_i_g0HjDbZ43XZXA

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/personal-proffitt-lemarchand-why-i-left-the-us-20-years-ago-and-why-i-wont-be-coming-back_us_5adf7407e4b07be4d4c57b26

The Grown-Up's Guide to Running Away from Home, Second Edition: Making a New Life Abroad https://www.amazon.com/dp/1580088732/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_Ioh5AbWJGNM7Q

Be a super-cool dad/ex-husband and show them how you roll. Buy them a Stack-On Cabinet for less than $100.00


Alternatively, if money is tight, go with some cable locks as /u/Gun_Defender mentioned earlier in this post.


If you're concerned about your kid (or anyone else's) who visits her home, $100.00 is chump change for piece of mind.