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Let's continue to refine it together. I need a few more weeks to finish a few things I'm focusing on but then we can really dive in and see how we can break it all down and make it easy to digest.

I definitely want to dive into the social community aspect more and the identity side, two components which I believe are very strong in why we play.

For Bali (or travel in general...) it's all about perspective. A villa in Bali is around $300-400/month and food is cheap (like a dollar for a bowl of Pho). It's completely realistic to live in Bali for $10/day. To live really well (like a King) it would be less than $1000/month.

So if you want to go and not work for six months all you need somewhere between $1800-$6000 + flights (one way from Vancouver to Bali is about $500).

Now the benefit I have is that I'm still able to work while I travel (I have a few streams of income:

• Coaching through Kingpin Lifestyle (been doing that for over six years)
  
• Freelance/Web design. I outsource projects I find through friends/family. I also write for addiction.com and get paid for it.
  
• I have a food blog with my mom called Wheat Free Mom. She does recipes I do everything else.
  
• A friend puts on an event called The Higher Purpose Project and I've helped him out with finding attendees for a referral fee.
  
  It all compounds. Thankfully I've been doing this for awhile so it comes more naturally now, but it's something you're definitely able to figure out if you dedicate time and effort towards it.
  
  The key is to develop different skills you can offer to people as a service. This is the difference between a friend of yours saying they need a website and you saying: "Ya... a website is something good to have." compared to you saying: "Oh ya? I could probably help you with that.." The next thing you know you've sold a website for $2000 and by outsourcing the project you end up with $1000 for sending a few emails and overseeing things. :)
  
  Here are a few good resources to start with if you're interested:
  
  
• The $100 Startup by Chris Guillebeau.
  
• The Art of Non-Conformity by Chris Guillebeau
  
• The 4 Hour Work Week by Tim Ferriss
  
• Tim Ferriss' Blog
  
• Chris Guillebeau's blog
  
• Sean Ogle's blog: Location 180
  
  

Old post, but I felt that this has to come to the surface.

Video games didn't hold you at gun point. It didn't force you to play. Yes, they are designed to abuse your reward systems in the brain, and yes at such a young age it can be difficult to recognize these patterns, but it is up to the user to take control. Clearly you have made a good decision early on, as many can go 20 years before they finally snap out of the daze.

What I'm about to share, is nothing new. You will have heard about it, maybe even tried it one or twice. For most people it doesn't stick, because it seem too challenging and demanding. The thing which is neglected, is how it will develop a keen way of getting profound insight into your own life, habits, thought and behaviour-patterns.

Keep with me for a moment, because what I'm trying to get to here is quite important. Meditation is, and should be, a tool taught to everyone, especially at a young age. It will give the person distance from emotions and immediate reactions, which in return will make it possible to have an objective view. It also clears away the endless chatter in the head, allowing you to have serious discussions with yourself, and also has the potential to give profound clarity in life. The kind of clarity where the world becomes brighter, you notice details in your life that weren't there before. Because you are always fully present, in the moment. Like a new born. vipassana is the style of meditation which is the easiest to begin with, with only one goal in mind. To build concentration and awareness, as they are essentially bound together, and one cannot exist without the other.

I highly suggest checking out this book, even if all you read is the first 20 pages... It might just change your life, allow you to play games as a reward, rather than as a clutch. https://www.amazon.com/Mindfulness-English-Bhante-Henepola-Gunaratana/dp/0861719069

It may seem boring, and really difficult, but once you do some research you will realize that most "successful" people in this world actually meditate, it becomes a silent clue that it has some real weight behind it. It hasn't been practiced for hundreds of centuries for no reason. It is the best way for (and probably the only way for the former) total enlightenment and liberation, of our desires, anger, our jealousy, greed and hate. (ps. Lifeflow 2 is a great tool to learn meditation )

Start working out. Get healthy, great foods into the body. It'll make ur weight stabilize. Get out of the house and do stuff. Go for walks. Read books. It really doesn't matter. Just get going and it will snowball once you see positive changes in your life.

Lastly, externalizing "I would be happy if x y z" factor is only a setup by your mind, your ego. It doesn't work like that. TRUE happiness comes from within. No amount of external stimuli can ever give you that. You have to CHOOSE to be happy. It'll come with age, if you pursue it, relentlessly. You can't predict how your life would be different, because it could have gone in any direction. The only important thing is what you decide to do now, then stop blaming the past, stop looking back, move forward, find mentors, find idols, find people to emulate, and give it your everything.

Best of luck.

"I craved for games that had easy achievements so I could feel good again."

+1

The industry gamifies games to make you want to play them regardless of their quality. It's not even a "I want to finish a hard game" or "I want to complete a hard game". You just want the 100% completion/platinum trophy and we will be inclined to choose the easy way to the reward.

I've been reading about dopamine and its behavioral effects. Apparently it doesn't only moderate reward but also motivation. Check my comment posted today for explanatory links.

You essentially opted in for easy reward over hard, it's like opting to avoid going to the gym or improve your social skills in favor of playing video games and indulge to pornography. Another good book is the shallows: what the internet is doing to our brains where the author argues that the medium (how we choose to convey a message) can affect us more than the information.

Because another thing that gives us quick fixes is the novelty of browsing Reddit for funny things, and the warmth of social approval that we get from getting one of our comments/posts upvoted.

I'm going to take a shot at this.

Don't be afraid, software is one of those field where you can still make something of yourself alone and without a degree, very few fields allow that.

Although real college is not an option for you but an online degree might be. Check out udacity.com get a nano degree to show some worth.

Find a field of interest. Coding is just not one simple thing, there are lots of fields to work in. Web Dev, embedded, security, imaging etc. All these field have specialization too but ignore that for right now. Find something that interests you and something that you think you can manage alone. Web Dev is a great area to look into for this but if you have hardware experience you can do some embedded stuff too. Mobile is also a great path.

Your issues might not allow you to work in a team environment either. So start doing things on your own. Use these guys to get feedback on your code. http://codereview.stackexchange.com/

Start and complete a full project. That is the only way you can learn about certain processes. Read a book on software design, personally I like this one https://www.amazon.com/Emergent-Design-Evolutionary-Professional-Development/dp/0321889061

but there are several other greats too. Derek Banas on youtube has several great videos about design patterns too.

Once you learn a language and development environment try to see what other frameworks might be out there or what other IDE's might be out there.

When you have a complete working project use it to get freelance work.

Read code, lots of it. you may not see the benefit of it now but soon you will be picking up good practices and tricks from the experts.

Sorry my thoughts are all over the place but hope this helps or at least gives you some direction.

You will be fine just keep pushing through, it might take some time but work and money will come.

I feel fortunate for having quit video games at 18, but it's never too late to start filling life with your creations. Check out the book called Mastery by Robert Greene as he explains how to become a master at whichever craft you enjoy no matter the age. Feel like drawing? START NOW Feel like making music? START NOW Want to start writing? START NOW! Whatever it is, it's never too late to start. Good luck man and hope you'll be able to change that nothing to tons!

There are not enough research papers specifically on gaming addiction because gaming addiction together with social media and pornography falls under the umbrella of internet addiction - Like you said a rather new field. Some breakthroughs are being made in the last years to have it recognized as an addiction per se (at least in Europe) the problem with conducting enough research is that there are no funds and insurance companies have no wish having another area of responsibility to potentially give away money to people suffering from it. If gaming addiction become completely recognized by international bodies of medicine then insurance companies might have to pay preexisting clients for passed and current treatments ---> something they definitely do not want to do.
Nonetheless here are some videos of legit men of science (not some random ex gamer) that research the field.

"Here is a short interview with Dr. David Greenfield talking about some of the mental and physical applications of gaming and internet addiction"


There are also longer talks on his channel like this one.
Dr. Greenfield has been researching Internet addiction since the 90's.


"Dr. Klaus Woelfling, from the University of Mainz. Germany is taking steps in treating Internet addiction and especially gaming addiction" - this one is a difficult watch primarily because the speaker is very uncharismatic (try watching with the speed setting on 1.5).

Last but definitely not least is "Your Brain on Porn"
Yes, yes I know, you might not want to hear that another of your favorite pastimes is bad for you, but this video covers on a very scientific basis the damages that watching excessive pornography causes to the brain, and no this is not some kind of NoFap cult propaganda, it speaks only on the subject of internet porn. Like I said before, porn together with gaming fall under the umbrella of internet addiction because the reaction we receive from these negative habits has the same structure. If you actually watch the Your Brain on Porn video you will hear him mention numerous times that the damages caused to dopamine receptors is similar to the ones cause from gaming and extensive internet use.

This is just some of the evidence done by men of medicine and science from the top of my head. If you want to go deeper I'd recommend The Shallows: What the Internet Is Doing to Our Brains By Nicholas Carr an American author and Pulitzer Prize winner (for that book), witch contains truly numerous examples of scientific studies and references you might want in the bibliography.


Also The Brain That Changes Itself by Norman Doidge M.D that talks mainly about brain plasticity and how different behaviors and habits cause the brain to form new cells , create new neural pathways etc etc . He also gives lots of examples how positive and negative behaviors causes various changes IN THE BRAIN, Internet addiction stuff included.

If you really want proof and not just searching for a reason to dismiss things you dont like the sound of then I hope this comment will serve you. If you do nothing less at least watch the first interview with Dr. David Greenfield. It is only 6 minutes long.

Hope this post that took me 50 minutes to put together and find all the links, will be of service to somebody.
Peace.

Edit: Grammar and formatting

Congratulate yourself,


I am serious. I know that sounds goofy, but you've done it! You've already quit. You thought it through and you've had the willpower to come here and talk to us. I am sure we could think of a million ways in which you could already have a new gaming computer.


The cycle is bad, harsh, and it can be extremely depressing to think about the past. I can deeply sympathize with that feeling, sometimes I still feel it. But, you are starting a new book now. Focus on the present. I am going to paraphrase (badly) the stoics here:


>There are only two things you can control: your thoughts, and your actions.

​

You've already started acting in a way that will make you feel better and be better in the long term. Two recommended readings are:

• The Power of Habit by Charlie Duhigg
  
• The Slight Edge by Jeff Olson
  
  Scheduling your days is step 4 in this intro. It is critical to start. You need to fill up your days with new things. A daily schedule can keep you on the right path.
  
  
  The others are right, start a budget now and earmark all money to be spent or saved for other more important things. r/personalfinance has a wiki in the sidebar, great place to start.
  
  
  Gamequitters has a hobby tool, to help you find new hobbies. https://gamequitters.com/hobby-tool/
  
  
  If you need a computer to be part of society, ensure the next computer you get is not gaming capable, if you can.
  
  
  ​

We still need to reward ourselves, otherwise what do we have to look forward to? But we need to find healthier and more productive rewards besides gaming and/or tv.

Instead of chilling out with games, try reading, walking, cooking, or <insert activity that you enjoy that relaxes you and isn't gaming>.

That's how new habits are built -- cue, habit, reward.

Highly recommended, The Power of Habit -- http://www.amazon.com/Power-Habit-What-Life-Business/dp/081298160X/

edit: grammar

I’m so glad it helped, it’s from this book that saved my life, if you need anything at all send me a DM, we can talk man, good luck, and I’m sure you’ll get there:

Love and Addiction

https://www.amazon.com/dp/098538722X/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_Ss0zDbQYFMJVT

You need to get over your anxiety, and the only way you can do that is to embrace it. Get out of your comfort zone and face the fear head on. This way you will expand your comfort zone and you will learn to use fear to your advantage. This might sound scary but its the only way out and trust me, you dont want to live the rest of your life inside your comfort zone. That is no way of living.

This book and this book are quite helpful on the topic of getting over the fear of anything really. Dont get me wrong, just reading these two books wont help you get over your anxiety, you need to go out and apply it to your life.

This may not be the solution you want to hear, but its the only way out of an anxiety :) Good luck with it

https://www.amazon.com/Primer-5th-Stanley-B-Lippman/dp/0321714113

This book is incredible. I picked it up at Barnes and Noble a few years back and it's fast paced but easy to understand. I highly recommend it if you're learning C++

Time enjoyed is time invested

Either you’re enjoying yourself or working on yourself. Now that you’ve noticed its your choice; go take a run, read a book (bill gates yesterday recommended Enlightenment now by Steven Pinker ), don’t regret the past, rather plan your future.

Good vibes

I'm learning python bc it's easy for me that hasn't any knowledge about programming language. And later I want to learn C# and C++. The book I'm reading is [My Lovely Wife by Samantha Downing](https://www.amazon.com/My-Lovely-Wife-Samantha-Downing/dp/0451491726). And now that I'm in the processing for stop play games I have more time to study english, my second language.

http://www.amazon.com/Mindfulness-English-Bhante-Henepola-Gunaratana/dp/0861719069

Fantastic book for learning how to get started with meditation. You can start with just minutes a day to see improvement. I would also suggest getting in some nature. I know you said you are disabled and I wasnt sure if that meant physically at all -- if not just get outside and find things that you can tolerate.

Hang in there. You've acknowledged the problem, the first step is done. Now keep on going.
If you're up for it and need some motivation, read Do the Work. It's just 70 pages, highly motivational and gets you in the right mood to get going. The author tries to break through the fear and resistance all of us experience when trying to do work by personifying it, which worked quite well for me.

Good luck!

>Why can't i just do shit, it's so easy

Because it's easier to do the same shit you've been doing.

When you're feeling low and haven't had a taste of success, doing things that matter feels pointless, yet it's the only way to better your life as you say you want. I would suggest you read a few books, The War of Art and The Slight Edge that might nudge you in the right direction.

Become habitual about other things in your life the same way you did with gaming and it will come. I recommend this book right here:
https://www.amazon.com/Power-Habit-What-Life-Business/dp/081298160X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1525330653&sr=8-1&keywords=the+power+of+habit

First of all, congratulations on quitting and making an effort to change. Big up.

Second, hardly anyone can change everything at once. Stick with ONE concrete small thing and make it stick. If you try to change everything at once, we will most often fail and feel disappointed and go back to old habits. "Be more productive" is also much to vague for most humans. Check out the book The power of habit by Chalres Duhigg. Anchored in science, it really has helped me change things I wanted to change for over 15 years. Lots of thing left to change, but I can't do it all at once. ANd often, changing only one small thing will bring lots of secondary benefits that makes other tings fall into place.

I've been reading (read: listening to on Audible) this book on addiction, Unbroken Brain: A Revolutionary New Way of Understanding Addiction. One of the main points it makes is that addiction is more of a problem in our way of learning and is a sort of developmental disorder. It goes into much more detail and is a fantastic read if you want to check it out, but that might explain why in your situation gaming addiction is the hardest of which to rid yourself.

For myself, once I made the decision that I needed to quit gaming, I haven't touched a game since. However, I find it easier to use precommitment strategies for combating gaming urges, such as uninstalling every game and game client on all devices and going through my YouTube and clicking "Not Interested" on every gaming related video that is suggested (I also don't own any board games in my house, and my Wii hasn't been set up since I moved, so the console isn't an issue either).

Steven Pressfields Do The Work.

Sony BDPS1700 Wired Streaming Blu-Ray Disc Player with 6ft High Speed HDMI Cable (Renewed) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07M865YMJ/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_-dknDb1WW3E3D

Cal Newport

Your ego is killing you. Read this, take notes, and come back when you're done:

Ego is the Enemy by Ryan Holiday

> I feel unwanted, unloved, replaceable.

You have to learn to accept yourself before anyone else in the world will give a shit about you. If you think you're weak, unlovable, worthless... well, why would anyone disagree? I'm not going to lie, it is a long and agonizingly difficult process to accept yourself for who you are without reservations. But it's the only way out of that black hole of self-loathing. Another book that can set you on the right path:

Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach

When you're depressed sleeping feels so good. Of course it's better than constantly thinking negative thoughts. Also called ruminating.

I'm guessing it's this - now that you've quit your depression is more appereant to you. Gaming was an escape from it and when you were gaming you weren't focused on negative stuff, but on the game. Now that you have removed it, you are more depressed and hence want to sleep more.

But don't worry, it's a the night is darkest before the dawn kind of thing. You need to fix your depression. I highly recommend this book for that, the practice described in it has been proven to heal even severely depressed people and it doesn't require any medication.

https://www.amazon.com/Depression-Cure-6-Step-Program-without/dp/0738213888