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Hi, Ftus. Sorry to hear about your troubles. I know the feelings all too well. When I was your age, I had very similar thoughts of "when will this just go away?". I waited, waited and waited, and every day when I woke up, it was still there. In fact, I'm 34 and it's still here. There won't be a day when you wake up and you're magically cured. Fortunately, you can improve your fluency, but it won't happen overnight and it takes considerable effort on your part.

If you haven't seen a speech therapist, I recommend going. Even if your mother is not supportive, which is a real shame and I'm sorry to hear that, you might be able to find a resource at your school, as someone else suggested. If you can't see a therapist, I recommend reading a book (such as [this one] (https://www.amazon.com/Self-Therapy-Stutterer-Malcolm-Fraser/dp/0933388454) or other online resources.

Basically, you need to teach yourself how to speak again. At first this requires considerable effort and focus, but with practice it will become more natural. The basics are:

• Slow down. Don't rush, forcing words out only creates pressure which makes it worse.
  
• Take a breath. We often get stuck because we run out of air, or run out of air because we're nervous and forcing/rushing our words. Make sure you have a steady and slow stream of air coming up from your lungs as you speak. If you find yourself stuck on a block, first work on letting air through before trying to make a sound, air is the first step.
  
• Think about your words as you say them. Focus on what you're going to say and consciously focus on each word as it crosses your lips.
  
• Relax your mouth/lips. You need to learn new ways to say the 'hard' sounds, like b's, p's and ch's. When you hit a block, forcing the sound out only creates more pressure, which just exacerbates the block. It's counter-intuitive to relax when you get nervous, but it's the only way.
  
  Good luck to you, young man, and don't get discouraged. Stuttering will always be a part of who you are, you need to accept it and learn to deal with it the best you can. I'm sure you have a lot of other wonderful qualities that other people would love to have.
  
  
  edit: if you are interested in the book I mentioned and don't have a way to purchase things online, I would be happy to buy it for you.

You got dealt a bad hand at birth. But not the worst hand. I would take my stutter over being blind, deaf, missing a limb, being paralysed, autism, and every terminal illness. I would take a stutter in the first world over being an urchin in India or any other poverty stricken place, if which there is a plethora in this world.

Have trouble attracting a mate? Work out like a fiend and be the best physical you that you can be. Have trouble finding a well-paying career? Study lots and be the best technically and try a profession where communication is not as critical, like computer programming or other IT related job. Having a hard time at parties? Maybe parties are not going to be your thing.

There are many pleasures this world has to experience, and you can enjoy them, you just have to work harder. You get one life, and this one is yours. You will not get another. Don't focus on who has it better than you, as you cannot control this

You should probably get some speech therapy, if you can afford it. If not, focus on free resources

For your general mental health, study some philosophy. The Stoic philosophy might help you. This book helped me - Guide to the Good Life: Ancient Art of Stoic Joy

http://www.amazon.com/Guide-Good-Life-Ancient-Stoic/dp/0195374614/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&qid=1458763361&sr=8-4&keywords=stoicism

This all sounds, potentially, like it could be tied together. A stutter can totally be triggered by stress. People are also pointing towards neurogenic, and I would too, because of those headaches. Did you suffer a head injury before these headaches and stutter? I don't want to do the "hey, join me!" club, especially because your stuttering--overwhelming, primarily at the beginning of the word--from my amateur research, and what I briefly read, sounds like it's not neurogenic. That being said, I suffered a head injury literally in 2003, and then in 2011, after a jaw surgery, I started to get daily headaches, that ranged in pain from 4-8. (Pain scale: 4 is "okay, that's really uncomfortable, and I'm super grumpy now, but I guess I'm going to go on with my daily life because I have to" and 8 is "okay, I'm in bed crying, nobody bother me, but I'm not dying right now.") In 2014, I started to pick up on a neurogenic stutter. It has only gotten worse.

Here's what I've learned regarding the headaches, because there are tons of people who can help you regarding the stutter here, but headaches are a lot harder to find things on:

can you describe the headache to me? I mean, in explicit detail. (I'll be describing mine, and how I deal with each one, in hopes it helps.)

I get a few types of headaches, and have a different "treatment plan" for each one. Each headache type has to be treated differently. (When Mom found out I got headaches--as headaches are a family problem--she was trying to force me to treat my headaches her way, but I don't get her types of headaches, and it literally worsened things. I won't be offended if you don't take this advice. It might not help.)

So, what you're most likely experiencing at least some of the time are tension headaches. I want to start there. Tension headaches tend to feel like a band across the forehead, but some people also can feel them in their neck. My tension headaches literally will flare up and fade away throughout the day, and can last for days. (I have gone to sleep and woken up with the same one.) The most effective actual medications for these have been muscle relaxants and psych meds, but you're not in the best place to get to actual doctors. There is OTC headache specialty meds you can use. This one isn't cheap, but it shows the ingredients you're looking for. The caffeine apparently makes the ibuprofen work faster, and isn't found in most of the "migraine" labeled medications. (My prescription painkiller for headaches has caffeine in it.)

Non-med ways: you mention meditating, which is good. That's another way I try and clear out tension headaches. Trying to knock out sources of tension is the hardest way, and takes a lot of time.

Sinus headaches are a big deal right now. You'll feel a lot of pressure well, along your sinuses (my girlfriend and I feel pressure right above our eye, but I understand that's not always where everyone feels it.) Sinus headaches trigger migraines in my mother, so it's something to keep an eye on if you also get migraines. A decongestant will clear this headache type, and if you catch that you're getting them, get an OTC allergy medication until the pollen level is down in your area.

Hopefully that catches your headache types; if it's a regular migraine, there's plenty of "tips and tricks" around for that one. (The other one I get is some weird kind of headache that rests right in my temples and makes me a bit dizzy and out-of-it. It's so rare I don't have a "plan" for that one yet.)

When I was seventeen, I was able to go to therapy behind my parents' back, using interns to do it since I couldn't pay for it on my own. My GP set me up with a local practitioner, but you might be able to just ask around if you were interested in doing that, too. (Or have your boyfriend ask around?) I admit I was incredibly lucky, but it was a good program that helped me out a lot that first year. (When I turned 18, I got on my own insurance and changed to the local community mental health instead.)

I was told, essentially, since I was 17 and this was mental health, my parents didn't have to be a part of it. You could ask if your parents could be barred from it. I managed to make sure my parents never knew (about the therapy. They eventually found out I also went on antidepressants. It was a time of grand adventure for me.)

tl;dr: I know this was a super long post, and stuttering wasn't really touched on directly, but in this case, stuttering doesn't seem to be hanging out there on its own. I've found out many, many times over that nothing just happens by itself, and it's quite likely some of these things, if not all, are related. Hopefully some of this helps.

Hi all!

I recently published my first novel on Amazon, and the story's supporting character had lost his voice to a stutter, and much of the story involves his battles through the difficulties that we all know comes with a stutter. He embodies a lot of what I go through when put in certain situations, like when faced with an active tavern or a tense conversation. I don't think there's many strong characters out there that have a stutter, and I believe it's a missed opportunity, because it was so much fun to write (and easy to relate for me). The Amazon link is below if you want to check it out!

For this subreddit I'll include a scene from late in the book. Wolf, the perspective, is with Wren in a hollow deep within a snowy sierra. I really liked this scene, as there are parts that I feel as a stutterer myself. Enjoy!

https://smile.amazon.com/gp/product/0578575213/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_image_o00_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

"

Now minutes went by without another word. Though I could still tell that his eyes stared at the same point above as mine. The moment of silence was ineffable. Wind was the only thing to whisper in, and even that struggled to breach the lull.

“Wolf,” Wren started, “w-would you take a hit f-for me?”

I raised a brow, though no one could had seen it. “Why would you ask that? Of course I would. A hundred blades to the gut, right now, where are they?”

“No, no,” he chortled. “It was just a qu-question. I ask because… I ask because, if we r-run into anything these l-last days, I’m not sure how m- much fight I have in m-me right now.”

“I would throw an eye in front of you if I had to,” I assured. “My left eye though, not my good one.”

I heard a smile creep on his face.

“I’m serious. Damn to the person, or creature, that wants to harm you.”

“What are y-you going to do, use y-your sword?” he asked sardonically.

“I just might.”

“That would be a day…”

“Don’t make me swallow my words, boy. I’m all you have out here.”

Another long moment of quiet filled the nook. It was a moment without words, though many could be felt from the songbird. It was an ostensible silence, a stutterer’s silence. Something that urged many sentences and thoughts, but those that never came into fruition, prevented by a puppet master of sorts. I was only left guessing what the silence meant.

Eventually the stutterer managed the easier rhythm of words.

“We should sleep.”

"

Choline is a supplement. You can buy it on amazon.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Solgar-Choline-Inositol-Vegetable-Capsules/dp/B000Z92FR2/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1458604460&sr=8-3&keywords=choline

I would also recommend vitamin B1. It can really reduce stuttering on some people, but it only works on about 30 percent.

Katherine Preston's Out With It: How Stuttering Helped Me Find My Voice is really good
https://www.amazon.com/Out-Stuttering-Helped-Find-Voice/dp/145167659X

Will this book be a good alternative to the course? http://www.amazon.co.uk/Beyond-Stuttering-McGuire-Programme-Speaking/dp/0285642847/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1419097820&sr=8-1&keywords=beyond+stuttering

Sadly, McGuire does not run a course where I live.

https://www.amazon.com/Thorne-Research-B-Complex-Vitamin-Capsules/dp/B0797JXKL9

There's another similar Indian (Hindi) movie: [Indu Sarkar] (https://www.amazon.com/gp/video/detail/B07QVM6YWH/ref=cm_sw_tw_r_pv_wb_E6bVVB5LgxPMJ)

It can help you reduce your speech anxiety, but you shouldn't expect it to reduce your severity.

http://www.amazon.com/Have-Voice-How-Stop-Stuttering/dp/1845907272

This book has NLP based techniques for people who stutter in it.

From Stuttering to Fluency: Manage Your Emotions and Live More Fully by Gunars Neiders
https://www.amazon.com/Stuttering-Fluency-Manage-Emotions-Fully-ebook/dp/B00GTHXQQ8

Most people don't know I stutter, 15 years ago - everyone knew. I've gotten more confident and fluent over the years, but this past year my anxiety has gotten bad - and unsurprisingly, it let to more speech blocks. I asked a friend for help, and although it's not for everyone, I found this herbal supplement helps me a lot: https://www.amazon.com/Himalaya-Herbal-Healthcare-StressCare-Anti-Stress/dp/B000H87TMC Note: I am extremely sensitive to medications. Always seek advice from your doctor. But this has been working wonders on me! No more muscle tension and I'm sleeping better which reduces stress and increases my fluency (if that's your goal!).

Your trick is similar to a strategy used in the valsalva hypothesis book: http://www.amazon.com/Understanding-Controlling-Stuttering-Comprehensive-Hypothesis/dp/1929773242/ref=sr_1_8?ie=UTF8&qid=1448938820&sr=8-8&keywords=stuttering

The author likens speaking to a proper golf swing in that you have to 'swing through' to reach your target (usually the vowel sound in a word) instead of using effort to try to push through the block.

It never did anything for me either. I spent years agonizing over trying to find a 'cure' or at least some help, and then I came to the realization that it wasn't going to go away. We're stuck with this affliction so we have to learn how to cope with it.

This book along with this publication from the Stuttering Foundation have helped me more than any speech therapist, medication, or psychiatrist ever have.