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So, now that I've had coffee....

Good morning. I hope you're feeling a little bit better.

With your daughter - at about 2.5, my boys both started to protest naps. My solution was to stop calling it nap time. I let them pick 1 book and 1 quiet toy from the playroom and take them to the bedroom (normally, no toys in bedroom). Then they had "quiet time." I usually told them it was only for a half hour, but tbh, I lied. 95% of the time, they fell asleep within 10 minutes, and slept for their full nap. The other 5%, they'd play quietly for an hour or so. I put one of these locks on the door, which keeps it open a crack. Note that at first, they came to the crack every 5 minutes to ask if they could come out yet - I had to be super consistent that "no, the timer hasn't gone off (because I didn't set it), they had to play quietly until the timer said that quiet time was over."

As to the no breaks / burned out. Like I said, I've been there. Military life is hard on families, and transitioning out isn't much better. Some things to keep in mind:

1. Just because it's your job doesn't mean you don't get breaks. My husband works in an office. That doesn't mean he works 24-7-365. He gets evenings off, weekends, he gets vacation days and sick days. So, I too deserve time off, sick days, vacation days, etc. I don't get a lot, but I do get some. I find it easier to schedule it in advance, so here's what my husband and I worked out (and by worked out, I mean I informed him of what I needed, and let him pick the day): I get a babysitter to watch the kids from 1-4 on Tuesday. This is when I usually go to therapy, but it's also my time to do whatever I want. He is on kid duty Thursday evening. Dinner, bath, bedtime, the whole thing - from the moment he gets home, I'm "off the clock." I usually go hide in our bathroom and take a bath with a book, but if they're being particularly loud or if the baby is crying, I leave the house. On weekends, each one of us gets one morning off. So Saturday is his day to get up when they get up and get their damn cereal, while I get to linger in bed. Sunday is his day, and I get up with the kids.
   One afternoon, one evening, and one morning to "sleep in" till 8. It's not a lot, objectively, but it makes a huge difference.
   
   
2. Reconsider the religious preschools. Even when they have "chapel" the messages are usually just basic bible stories that (imho) everyone, whether religious or atheist, should know. Things like Noah, that get referenced in popular literature. If they do push a message, it's things like "God loves you" or "God wants us to be nice to our friends." Sending your kid to preschool is NOT getting someone else to do your work for you, it's giving yourself a desperately needed break so that you're a better mom the other 99% of the time, and it's exposing your daughter to all kinds of things that you can't teach her at home, like listening to adults other than you, socializing with her peers, taking turns and sharing, etc.
   If you still decide that's not for you, look into a YMCA membership. You can probably get a military discount if either one of you still has your ID. Some advantages: great beginning swim lessons for your daughter, workouts for you (once you start to feel better), and best yet - 2 hours per day of child care included with your membership. Your daughter gets to practice all those social skills and play with new toys... you get to drink a cup of coffee and browse reddit in peace (or, I suppose, time to workout, but I always just read).
   
   
3. Most of the military men I know do better with specifics. That's why my list of "time off" was so carefully written out - instead of just saying "I need a break" I said "I need one afternoon, one evening, and one morning each week." We took the same tactic with our relationship. If you think of your relationship like a bank account, military life has a way of making tons of withdrawals (tdy, pcs) plus life in general (career change, childbirth, your BiL's death)... your relationship account sounds like it's running low. So we came up with a list of things that make deposits, again being very specific. Our list looks like this:
   
   

• sex twice a week
  
  
• date night once a month (even if it's just microwave popcorn and netflix)
  
  
• family outing once a month (park, zoo, pool, fly a kite in the backyard, pet puppies at the humane society, whatever)
  
  
• something special on mother/father's day, birthdays, valentine's day, anniversary, and christmas. Doesn't have to be expensive, could be coffee in bed or look I made your favorite dinner.
  
  
• one hour of family play time once a week. For us, it's board games, but with younger kids it could be build a pillow fort or play dress up. Just as long as both parents and the kids are all playing together.
  
  Our list has 8-10 items on it, but that gives you an idea. We've been doing it for 2 months now, and honestly, it's starting to help. We're feeling more connected and closer, and I feel like he's actually getting to re-know me, and get to know our kids for the first time. Our kids are getting more comfortable with him too.
  

Hey there!

While I seriously understand your frustration, please try not to be too angry.

I am a professional head lice treatment clinician and this is a situation I encounter with honestly the vast majority of cases I see. Most of the families we treat have had their lice infestation for a minimum of a month, usually two or more. If a parent doesn't have a lot of experience with lice, they don't really know what to look for. The bugs are expert hiders and it's incredibly easy to mistake nits for dry scalp. Yes, he should have taken this more seriously but your story is really par for the course in the head lice saga.

She absolutely needs to have her sores treated but going to the doctor for lice itself is pretty useless. I've encountered countless instances where pediatricians have misdiagnosed lice as simply dry scalp or skin infection. Even when it is correctly diagnosed, prescription treatments are as garbage as OTC treatments. Chemicals are only somewhat effective against bugs and entirely ineffective against nits. The best way to diagnose is to take a quality nit comb (metal teeth, never plastic. The Nit Terminator is an industry favorite) through the hair in a couple of sections (behind the ears, base of the neck, crown) and wipe it on a paper towel. Nits can be tricky on the hair but they're unmistakable against a white paper towel.

While I of course do recommend professional treatment, at-home treatment really isn't the nightmare it can sometimes be made out to be. Dimethicone oil applied liberally over the scalp and washed out after 30 minutes will kill 100% of the bugs in the head. Repeat treatment once a week (changing bedding after each treatment) and the problem is solved. Alternatively, nightly combing for two weeks with hair dampened with a water/conditioner mixture will also work. It's much cheaper but much more tedious. Either way, though, it's completely possible, even with your long hair. Enlist the help of a trusted friend if you can.

Benadryl will help relieve the itching.

Tips:
-NEVER cut a little girl's hair because she has lice. They live and lay within a half inch of the scalp. Unless you're shaving her head, you're solving nothing and in fact making it harder to prevent because keeping hair up is one of the best preventions.
-tea tree and other essential oils are great preventatives but they are not effective treatments. This is a misconception I have to dispell daily.
-treating the home doesn't involve bagging, freezing and boiling everything you own. Throwing pillows and slept-with stuffed animals in the dryer is pretty much all you need to do.


Happy to answer any other questions you have.

We have a two in one potty seat that she still uses. I had a little foldable one because she was so small at 20 months, she'd fall into the adult toilets out of the house, but it quickly got to be too much of a hassle. I kept a stool by the toilet so she could get up on it. We didn't do the potty chairs that you empty because #yuck (I can be squeamish). Do pull ups if you want, but once you make the transition to undies, DON'T GO BACK!! Stick with the undies, even if he pees 10x a day, once you switch back and lose the consistency, it's hard to get the message across again. Some kids like a potty watch, which can be set for intervals, say 30 minutes, where it will remind the kid to try to potty. Daniel Tiger potty songs are the best. A friend had success with praising her kid everytime they DIDN'T have a potty mess in their undies Everytime the potty watch went off, in addition to praising when the kid pottied in the toilet ("yay, you didn't potty in your undies, you stayed clean! We'll check again in a half hour when the potty watch goes off again! Here's your incentive") when an accident happens, have them help clean up, try to stay neutral about it (rather than reassuring them it's ok, just acknowledge it and say "it happens, and now we need to you and the potty mess up", clean up, and move on with your day. Don't shame, but they also don't necessarily need to be told it's not a big deal or that it's ok).

I'm not a potty guru, and potty training wasn't necessary a breeze, but it wasn't as miserable as I thought it would be. We had our share of accidents between my two, but fortunately we didn't have any incidents like poop being played with or smeared around.

You are not crazy, selfish, or mean. I'd be hella stressed right now, too. I agree with a ton of the advice here, particularly about who they're really angry at. It doesn't make it easier on you, but I agree that it's probably more about their son. I also like the list of boundaries someone else suggested.

I know you're dealing with a lot right now, but if you have a moment, could you explain this a bit more:

>thinking that my children need a dad or that a sperm donor is a dad is homophobic.

Is this just a matter of semantics here? ("Dad"= involved and present male figure involved in day to day care of children) My 4yo has been asking a ton about where babies come from and how babies are made. Among others, I like this book, What Makes a Baby? because it talks about how some people have different parts in their bodies necessary to make a baby and some don't, and it models all sorts of families in the illustrations. But egg and sperm are still part of the explanation. I want to give him fact-based information, and it never occurred to me that it might be homophobic to explain that babies are made from an egg cell (from a woman) and a sperm cell (from a man) and they grow into a baby in a uterus (in a woman). And some babies have families with two parents, some with one, some with grandparents, some with two moms, some with two dads, etc. So I guess my question is, is there a particular phrasing for this that is better or worse? Because the fact is your babies have a biological father and mother because they were made from sperm and egg(s), even if their family has two moms. And if my 4yo was asking about it, I'd probably say something like, "Cousin gave his sperm and mom gave her egg and OP gave her uterus to grow the babies. And OP and mom are their two mommies." Is there a better way to phrase that? Thanks!

And good luck with he crazy...it's really big of you to make the effort. With any luck, you all can come to a place of peace with this before your girls are old enough to be aware of the drama.

There is a book called Expecting Better that is precisely about this. It does not tell you what to do or what not to do. It tells you just HOW SAFE (or to put it another way, how risky) certain behaviors are during pregnancy, so that YOU can decide where your personal line comes in. It's written by a woman who works with statistics and analysis who was basically stunned by how unfounded all the advice she got during her pregnancy was - like how nobody could quantify or even elaborate on the risks they were asserting, etc, so she examined basically all the studies on all these things from all the freaking countries in the world that have ever done studies, and analyzed them as she would other statistical data, and she shares her findings. Sometimes she also shares her personal conclusions - what she does with those findings - but she always emphasizes that her conclusions are personal and that yours, even working with the exact same data, may vary and that's okay.

Fuck "better safe than sorry." I ate pretty much anything I wanted when pregnant - deli meat, sushi, etc. I had some beer here and there as well. I drank coffee and slept in whatever position I wanted to sleep in and I gained as much weight as my body seemed to want to without ever giving a fuck, whether it was a week where I was told I gained "too little" or a week where I was told I gained "too much." These were my personal decisions and they may not be the right decisions for everybody. But they were mine and I felt confident making them because I had 100000% more knowledge of the actual research and facts on any of these topics than any random fuck who gasped, "Don't eat that deli sandwich!!! You're pregnant!"

By far the most controversial part of the book is her analysis of drinking studies. It gets crazy down votes and bad reviews for that and I understand why. But even if you disagree with her personal conclusions on the topic, the rest of the book is pretty good - definitely a solid read for a rare injection of sanity.

I have a book I'd like you to read. It's called Codependent No More by Melody Beattie. It was suggested to me by my ex's therapist, when I joined him in a therapy session and ended up sobbing. It helped me see things from a different perspective and gave me strength I didn't know I had. The book drastically improved my life and it only took a few days to read. Here it is on Amazon. I was skeptical at first because:

1. I had never read a self-help book before and had honestly zero faith that it would help anything.
   
   and,
   
   
2. The cover of the book made me defensive because it says something about controlling others.
   
   But, read it. It all makes sense once you get into it, and I really think your situation will hugely improve if you do. It's just a book, so worst case scenario, you don't gain anything from it but another book to add to the list of books you've read. Best case scenario, your life is changed for the better.
   
   Here it is on Overdrive, you can see if it is available at your local library or even in e-book form.
   
   Edit Actually, I found the e-book online for free (actually it is a free 4-title bundle of her books, but it includes the one I am recommending) so I downloaded it to my Dropbox account. I'll PM you the link so you can just click the link and read it. If anyone else wants to read the book, PM me and I'll send you the link too.

Hey Hey! Unwilling biting toddler expert here. My son has been biting since he was 1 years old, and is about to turn 5 in August. Now, he has been diagnosed as ASD within the past year, and I have no doubt that plays a part in it, but that doesn't mean that my experience can't be of help to you.

First thing. Get this book and read it. Regularly. Talk to your child about it. See what they have to say about it, what they think.

Ask the people watching your daughter to make notes when she bites. Just quick little jots - what time of day did it happen? What was she doing? What was the child who she bit doing? This will help you narrow things down. Could she be hungry? Could she be upset at the other child for not listening to her / acknowledging her cues that she wants to be left alone? Just these quick little facts can be huge clues as to what is going on in her mind when she bites. With my son, it is usually because another child has invaded his personal space, or his chair in the classroom. Once his teachers and I figured that out, we have gotten his biting down from 5-6 times a day to once in the past month. Seriously, that big of a difference.

How is her vocabulary? When my son first started biting, everyone said it was because he couldn't express his needs adequately. So many people told me this, I'm certain it's a cause for the vast majority of kids. Looking into speech therapy, or even encouraging sign language can help with this aspect of it.

I want to end this statement with this: just because your child is biting does NOT make you a bad parent. You're not. Your child has all these great big emotions and feelings and no idea how to appropriately express them, and that IS OK. I know you're frustrated. I FEEL that frustration (read my history if you're really curious...it's been a long ride). But you are aware of the problem, you are actively facing it head on. That is good parenting. Don't ever let anyone else make you feel any differently.

I lurk now, but I am still constantly on reddit. So if you need support, help, hell just someone to listen who understands, I am here. I am so here for you.

And it will get better. I promise you. One day, it will. I haven't hit my one day yet! But I'm now confident that it's coming. I know yours is, too.

So, she's 1. You can do sleep training with her, and she will get better about sleeping in general. There is a sleep regression just after 1 year though and that may be why she's being so difficult to get to sleep. I'm really sorry that you are going through this with no help and no support. Do you have a friend or family member nearby who could watch her for a night so you can get some much-needed rest? The sleep deprivation will really do you in temper-wise. Can you put her in a playpen or a babyproofed room and use something like a door monkey to keep her locked in and safely watching some cartoons while you get some sleep? This may also be a good time to give her some melatonin 30 mins before bedtime (kid doses only, you can find them at the pharmacy in a bottle specifically dosed for kids with 1mg or something like that). She will sleep better. I used it for my kid when he was having a sleep regression and it helped a bit. You need some sleep though, so you can be a more patient mom. this is a hard age even if you were getting enough sleep.

Yes, I totally agree, get a "zip it" drain cleaner tool! Something like this [https://www.amazon.com/Cobra-Products-00412BL-Drain-Cleaning/dp/B000BO9204] can be purchased at just about any home improvement type store.

It works so well and is so easy to use that when they first came out the plumbing company I worked for went out and purchased them for all of the plumbers to use as part of their kits.

Can't recommend it enough! (I also have one for my bathroom sink, seriously they are amazing, and like you; no one else around here was taking care of it. /hugs)

Can you buy a special car potty and make it awesome so she'll want to use it. I bought a kalencom portable potty after my eldest trained it's come totally in handy countless times over the 4 years we've had it. No worry about finding a bathroom. Just pull over and pee.

I get that she's not telling you but maybe if it's a super special amazing potty she'll want to tell you? Let her decorate it/sticker it up.
This is what we have:
https://www.amazon.com/Kalencom-2-in-1-Potette-Plus-Red/dp/B0016KV73W

I really like the door monkey. It's a bit expensive, but it's worth it for the improved air flow and protection of people & walls. I would also recommend checking out KIScords for your cabinets. They make two different models and I've been happy with both.

This could be a teething thing or just a developmental thing.

You should try some of those mesh feeders with frozen fruit or frozen purees in them.. they're a bit messy but they're great for getting some nutrition into teething babies.

https://www.amazon.com/Fresh-Food-Feeder-Pack-Green/dp/B000GK5XY2

Also, full length bibs with sleeves (Ikea has awesome ones) are great for messy meals too.

Hey, don't get down on yourself! Your feelings are perfectly valid and ok to listen to.

There is an awesome (and gentle!) sleep book that I've found super helpful: The No Cry Sleep Solution .

Mine will be 18 months in a few weeks and we have had a lot of luck with this book... we read it frequently and every time he goes to bite me I say "Teeth are not for biting". Sometimes when he is in a mostly good mood I can follow that up with "But lips are for kissies!" and he will give a kiss instead. We have been doing this about a month now and over the last week he has been aggressively grabbing my arm like he wanted to bite it, and giving it a big kiss. I'll call that a win lol. It's just a phase at this point, they don't know how to communicate how frustrated they are so they bite. Mine goes to daycare and the kids try to bite each other pretty frequently. Daycare does the same routine, stops the bad behavior, explains in 1 sentence why it's bad, and redirects to something else or gives another option.

In regards to teething....my kid is 2 and I can promise I will never shut the fuck up about how awesome these were when she was teething. Mesh teething bags. You fill them with frozen fruit, or frozen baby food or ice or whatever, and let her chew the shit out of it.

The day before I had scheduled to start potty training, I head my daughter say, "Yuck, poopy!" And I found her squatting over a spot of poo on the floor. Then I saw that she had poo all over her hands and it was all over her legs because she had been digging into her diaper.

It certainly strengthened my resolve to start potty training!

BTW, I highly recommend Oh, Crap! Potty Training. We're on week three and haven't had an accident in about a week! My 2 1/2 year old is so proud! Plus we have a new baby coming in three weeks, and I'm so relieved that I won't have to deal with TWO in diapers!

I'm trying to find the link to a schedule that my friend swears by. it take awhile to get them all out, as you can see, because you get the adults, but not the nits, then a while later the nits you didn't see hatch and you have the adults. Basically you comb for a few days, then wait a specific number of days, then comb for a few days, then wait, then comb... I called her and left a message, hopefully she'll get back to me soon.

We've used the RobiComb and it's worked very well.

Haha, I guess that would sound wtf if you didn't know what they were :)

Like these: http://www.amazon.com/Munchkin-Pack-Fresh-Feeder-Colors/dp/B000GK5XY2

Please, please do not EVER put banana in them.

Your partner and Patrick sound pretty codependent. I like this book for learning more about codependent relationships and how to increase self esteem.

I feel like this book realllllly helped me during this phase. It calmed my first time mom fears. Apart from normal FTM anxiety, it sounds like telling her to let her OB know what’s going on is great advise. My anxiety got so bad I was out on Zoloft around 20 weeks. Really helped.

This was about the age that daughter officially dropped naps. But when she did nap it made bedtime a nightmare.

This is also the general age (she may have been older) that switching up her bedtime from "bath/quick rinse, 3 books, sing 4 songs, and tuck in" to a different version. She started having an emotional reaction when we read specific books because she was so scared of going to bed - usually because she was associating the experience with being left out.

So we bought a door monkey, and had her repeat the rules. Kept them simple and kept the punishment exact.

Us: tuck in time, and now tell us the rules?

Her: No crying or whining, and stay in bed.

Us: What happens if you break the rules?

Her: mommy daddy hafta close da door.

Then hugs and kisses, and as long as she followed the rules we could leave her door open. Which for some reason made her feel better.

If this works, it's great. If not, I have no other help, because we are fast approaching this stage with my son who just turned 2.

Sleep issues suck, and I'm so sorry!

We got these ones. Cheap, effective, easy to stick on.

Toddler recently claimed What Makes a Baby as his new favorite book. We get to the page in the book that talks about how babies grow in uteruses (uteri?), and that some people have uteruses but others don't. Toddler pondered for a minute and asked if I had a uterus, and I nodded. He asked if his O.Pa. (my partner) and Baby Sister also had uteruses, to which I also nodded. Toddler sat silently for a minute before throwing himself on the ground and wailing "BUT I WANT A UTERUS TOOOOOOO. THAT'S NOT FAAAAIIIIRRRR!!!"

Toddlers and FOMO, man. It's so intense.

It was an illegally mounted outlet on the side of their kitchen island. :/ [Have you thought about one of those glass barriers like this for your stove?] (http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B00005BX4Z/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?qid=1451505916&sr=8-1&pi=SY200_QL40&keywords=stove+guard&dpPl=1&dpID=41pr2L8ZcYL&ref=plSrch) At my own house I just have our whole kitchen gated off. Our kitchen has cabinets from the 50s and you can't baby proof them so I've had to make the entire room baby free

We liked door monkeys. They prevent kids from locking themselves in rooms, keep them out of places where they shouldn't be, and pop on and off without any screws or adhesive. Not affiliated... just love the product.

​

As for cabinet locks... we just baby gated the kitchen and made it off limits. I'm pretty sure my kid would have defeated cabinet locks, too.

there is a electic lice comb. electrocutes the fuckers and zaps the nits. We only have the resistant lice so the store bought shit does nothing.

also, there is a lice repelent shampoo and detangle spray. We enjoy the smell, but some may not. We have been using it at every shower and so far lice free this year.

We used monkey locks for our basement steps, kept it closed enough, wasn't permanent, and kept it pinch free

This is the best thing ever for clogged drains, especially if it's a bunch of hair stuck in the tub.

Try this. Even if it doesn't work it feels good to read it.

Go the F**k to Sleep https://www.amazon.com/dp/1617750255/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_SjJ4xb7F77CEC

I'm 34 weeks pregnant and I follow Expecting Better's guidelines.

The summary of her section on coffee says:

> In moderation, coffee is fine.

> All evidence supports having up to 2 cups per day.

> Much of the evidence supports having 3 to 4 cups.

> Evidence on more than 4 cups a day is mixed; some links are seen with miscarriage, but it is possible that they are all due to the effects of nausea.

They have it on Amazon.

Mirari OK to Wake! Alarm Clock & Night-Light https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00EAHSBV4/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_Ygn2Cb62T9ZXK

Hey, so go to Amazon and get this thing. It folds up and I keep it in a mesh bag with some wipes and liner bags. It goes in my backpack, in my hiking pack, in my car, in my stroller so that I always have a potty. We potty before leaving the house, we potty at the store. The folding potty also functions as a seat reducer (it makes sitting on the big potty less scary!) and we use it in the woods on hikes and everything (in the woods for pee, we just set it up without a bag). My daughter just started potty training a week or so ago and she has used this to successfully pee in the scary composting toilets at our local park and also in public restrooms. Its super handy to keep around, and I have even used it for my older son when he had a poop emergency on a hike in the woods!

Suggesting this book: Oh Crap! Potty Training

Mine wouldn't go on the potty either, he would just sit. I think it feels weird to them before they start to PT to not go in a diaper. They are used to the way it feels.

We PT'd our son around 2.5 and he did really well with it. We left him naked from the waist down for the first two days. We had to adjust the pants off/commando routine in the book because he's in daycare, but we were surprised that it clicked so well. I know some people do not have any luck with that book, but for under $10 we gave it a shot.

I stole this idea off of here. I bought [this] (http://www.amazon.com/Munchkin-Fresh-Feeder-Colors-Count/dp/B000GK5XY2/ref=sr_1_1_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1459441433&sr=8-1&keywords=mesh+food+feeder) and put ice cubes, or flavored juice in them. They were cold so my daughter seemed to like them, and I think the flavor kept her interested. The mesh is fine enough, that I was able to take an ice cube, wrap a paper towel around it a few times and stuff it in the net, and it lasted a while without dripping as much, so we did not have a huge sticky mess everywhere and she was able to suck on it a bit as it melted.

Psst

http://www.amazon.com/OK-Wake-Alarm-Clock-Night-Light/dp/B00EAHSBV4

http://www.amazon.com/You-Have-F-g-Eat/dp/1617753785/ref=tmm_hrd_title_0?ie=UTF8&qid=1416792843&sr=1-2

DAE "K is for Knifeball"?

Maybe read this to her? https://www.amazon.ca/Go-F-Sleep-Adam-Mansbach/dp/1617750255/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1464936963

This seems pertinent

I carry this thing around with me everywhere....

Gimars Upgrade Folding Large Non Slip Silicone Pads Travel Portable Reusable Toilet Potty Training Seat Covers Liners with Carry Bag for Babies, Toddlers and Kids,Pink https://www.amazon.com/dp/B06ZZXQHYK/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_yWj1Cb3HTC13K

This...

We stayed home the entire weekend, started Saturday and we got the peeing part done in 1 day, but still working on the poop. I kinda wished we had the third day but we both had to go back to work on Monday....

I got invited to her baby shower and I went. She asked for a children's book in lieu of a card. This is the book I got:
http://www.amazon.com/K-Knifeball-Alphabet-Terrible-Advice/dp/1452103313/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1452996568&sr=8-1&keywords=knifeball

I couldn't seem to help myself.

If you're tired of teething tips just ignore me, I understand. Mine never took pacifiers or teething toys. I discovered that I could put an ice cube inside one of the thousands of baby socks that have no mates and tie the end for them to chew on and it seemed to help a lot. We eventually got one of these because it's easier. It's just a way for them to ice their gums without choking and dying on the ice.

A preschool should have smaller potties and be cleaned on the regular not to mention be supportive of potty training so I say let the class figure out how to help him toilet. Your kid can hold it if it’s that hard for him that’s what mine did. She would hold it for 4 hours just so she could potty at home and there were no accidents. The other thing I did was buy a folding potty seat for public restrooms so her little butt wouldn’t fall in and there was no sitting directly on a public potty.
https://www.amazon.com/Gimars-Silicone-Portable-Reusable-Training/dp/B06ZZXQHYK/ref=mp_s_a_1_6?keywords=potty+seat&qid=1558124146&s=gateway&sr=8-6

These literally stick to the door and the doorframe. It's how I know when my toddler has opened one of our outer doors, since we also have struggles with locks as renters who aren't allowed to so much as hang a picture frame. https://www.amazon.com/GE-Protection-Installation-Apartment-45115/dp/B00178HMCI/

the no cry sleep solution i think is basically the pioneer of this technique so i'd start there.

My ILs once gave us a horrible flea infestation. It wasn't a big deal to MIL until they were no longer allowed at our house and we refused to come to theirs.

OP, as someone with two children in school (and thus at least one yearly lice infestation), I bought this comb from Amazon and keep it handy. Best $11 I've ever spent. And if you have to use chemicals on your hair look for the stuff that kills lice and eggs.

Also! I got some of these to catch all the leakage from one boob while princess_crow nursed from the other side: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B000058DQJ/ref=cm_sw_r_awd_Z.uwub02P2P7X

I leaked a TON and hated that it was wasted, so I'd wear one of these and then put whatever was collected in with any bottles I pumped for our freezer stash.