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I was diagnosed with Stage III Triple Negative Breast Cancer at age 26 (2 years ago next month, BRCA 1 mutation). I had likely the same treatment as she'll be going through (Adriamycin/Cytoxan and after those - Taxol and then 5 years of Tamoxifen (even with triple negative the cancer can still be fueled by a small amount of Estrogen. So Tamoxifen was prescribed because if the side effects aren't too hard to control, it could end up doing more good than bad). Finishing my treatment up with radiation was the last step. I also had a double mastectomy and reconstruction and I'm due for one last breast reconstruction as well as having my ovaries/uterus removed (BRCA 1 mutation) once my baby is born (found out I was pregnant a few months after finishing radiation, yay!).

• A water bottle would be great to help encourage her drinking habits. Drinking lots of water is super important especially because of the steroids and Zofran.
  
  
• A super duper soft bristle toothbrush! Her gums will be so sore so a soft toothbrush as well as a really mild toothpaste will help. I found Biotene was a great mild toothpaste! I also got the Biotene Mouthwash.
  
  I rocked my bald head and any scarfs/hats I received or purchased ended up going unused. I think it was mainly just that I didn't care enough or have the energy to make the effort. I did however try to put on makeup any time I went into the wild because I sort of looked like death.
  
  My go to makeup even when I was completely out of it was always an eyebrow pencil/dip brow and eyeliner as well as foundation. I felt so creepy because I didn't have eyebrows, though I know it probably didn't phase anyone else. But it really gave me that confidence boost I needed.
  
  I was able to drive myself to and from all of my chemos though I know it's different for everyone. I was fortunate enough to not puke once through my treatments, though Adriamycin and Cytoxan were just terrible... If I ever see a photo of someone getting chemo or if I think about it too much I get physically ill and nauseous, it's funny how the brain works. I always felt better when my fiance came with me even if the steroids or Benadryl ended up putting me to sleep.
  
  Try to avoid showing pity or being sad around her (and try to shield her from others doing the same thing). I was diagnosed at a young age (26) and whenever someone brought that up (Ohhhh you're so young....) it was somehow really upsetting. I had to hold back a lot of tears because I expected to be infertile by the end and people would show pity that I didn't have any kids yet. I don't know, it was the roughest thing emotionally about it for me.
  
  Meal cooking is fantastic, cleaning is perfect, I literally didn't want to do anything when I was on Adriamycin and Cytoxan. It knocked me out and the fatigue was just terrible.
  
  
• Stool softeners (they'll likely prescribe Colace with the Zofran), Metamucil, and my favorite - Smooth Move Tea. Highly, highly recommend Smooth Move Tea. It has moved even the most stubborn of bowel movements and I couldn't have made it through chemo without it.
  
  Small snacks easy on the tummy to take medicine with in the mornings were hard to come by fast for me. The thought of cooking things just wasn't worth the hassle. I liked carbs/bready things because it coated my tummy more. Though they're not good for constipation, it was sometimes the only thing I could stomach. Lots of plain tortellini, crackers, bread/toast, bagels, mashed potatoes, egg noodles, boiled perogies, bananas, etc.
  
  My Adriamycin and Cytoxan treatments were once every 2 weeks (Thursdays), with the shot (Neulasta) being given the day after treatments (Fridays). The Neulasta shot... ugh the shot. It made my bones hurt and overall whole body hurt. It was probably the worst part by far. I was the most complain-y after getting that shot for generally 2 days from what I remember. It was just so hard to get comfortable, it makes you really restless because of the leg pain. A trick that I did find out was to take 1 Claritin the night before going in for the Neulasta shot. It didn't make a HUGE difference but I definitely noticed the difference. It definitely helped me and others. Don't ask how or why, even the chemo nurses said they have no idea exactly why it worked but it truly did!
  
  By the time I was due for my next treatment, literally the night before I'd start to feel better. Then it started all over again. I did get better little by little each day, but my energy and "normalness" would be felt around the night before. The fatigue was terrible though. But if she has to get out of the house for errands or anything, or just sanity - the few days leading up to the next treatment will likely be the time to do it.
  
  Oh and another tip - if she eats something while receiving her chemo treatment (like, plugged to the machine), she'll likely never want to eat that food again. So make sure it's not a favorite of hers! I had goldfish once and the thought of goldfish instantly brought back that nausea feeling from treatment. And it happened to these delicious soft chocolate chip cookies too.
  
  Also, a lot of people say to not eat your favorite foods in general while going through treatment because it causes aversions to it. I didn't listen and it turned out fine for me. It was just the eating-while-plugged-in that caused that. I also didn't listen when they said to avoid spicy things, greasy things, etc. I ate what I could, when I wanted, and I often lived off of Thai Bangkok Chicken (spicy!). It was what I craved and food plays a big part in my mood, so if your Mom wants something that will make her happy - let her have it! :P
  
  I also had a pride issue with asking for help when I needed it. I generally just forced myself to get up and get myself something to eat instead of asking for help. My point is, don't ask her if she needs something as often as you do just bring something to her or do things for her. She likely won't like asking for assistance!
  
  
• Satin pillowcases (everyone sells them). When her hair starts falling out and she's ready to shave her head, these help. Her hair will "hurt" as it's shedding and anything to help soothe her head is definitely going to make a difference.
  
  
• Purel hand sanitizer and hand soap (her immune system will be very susceptible to everything, so having hand sanitizer for you and everyone that is going to be near her is good to have - and for her too. I kept one in the car and my fiance and I would use it every time we came in contact with things in the grocery store, gas pump, etc etc.)
  
  
• Aquaphor, Aquaphor - AQUAPHOR!! I used so, so much of this for my head. When my hair was coming out and "hurting" this helped soothe it. Keeping her scalp moisturized will help so much. There are other alternatives, but I found aquaphor was great because to massage anything else on my scalp was so painful.
  
  
• Some kind of hard mints or candy, I liked Jolly Ranchers and Breathsavers. The "chemo taste" in her mouth might drive her crazy. Not only does it cause certain foods to taste entirely different, but even when she's not eating anything there's just this... taste. Bleh. Mints helped!
  
  Okay I've probably driven you crazy with my huge list, I'm sorry! As I was writing it all started coming back to me. I have such a bad memory of all my treatments, it was like it was all a haze. Hang tight and know that treatment isn't her whole life - it's just an unfortunate slump that she'll be able to get passed soon enough! I wish both of you the best, I'll be thinking of you guys. If you have any more questions or want me to think of more (trust me, I can!) just send me a PM! I'll do the best that I can!
  
  xo

First of all big hugs! Whenever a loved one is diagnosed with something that threatens their way of life, so many unknowns spring up. It's hard to watch your loved one hurt, especially from a distance where you can feel even more helpless.

My mother and her sister both had breast cancer and recently I had a prophylactic double mastectomy. If you have any questions or just need to vent, my inbox is open.


I think your iPod is a lovely idea! Perfect way to feel close and connected to you as well as spend time waiting for treatment. I know a gift my mom also cherished was a thick cozy bathrobe that she could gravitate towards after coming home. Just something soft and gentle after a paper gown and patient role can make you feel human again. For sleeping, we've all enjoyed having body pillows on hand while unable to sleep on our stomachs. Different people like different sleep positions and pillows though so she may want to pick one out for herself.


If she really loves music and you think she would want to listen to it at home to rest, I personally could not have been more thankful for these. http://www.amazon.com/AcousticSheep-SleepPhones-Classic-Headphones-Lavender/dp/B0046H8ZFU/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1417059623&sr=8-3&keywords=sleep+phones

They are a bit pricey for headphones but I do not regret that. I could lay down and listen to music for hours in the hospital or at home and my head could comfortably rest on a pillow as opposed to other headphone options. Even ear buds bug me after a while and would tangle up if i tried to sleep with them in, not to mention make my ears sore. Anyways, I very much benefited from having them.

I guess lastly, I just want to give both your hands a squeeze. It's not easy but it's doable. For what it's worth, looking back on my taking care of my mom after her double mastectomy, I think it was hard for both of us to see each other in the reverse role, if that makes sense. So spending time together in a way that lets her be mom, and not sick person, could be important for both of you. Obviously I don't mean her sickness is to be denied or ignored but while her medical needs should be met and cared for, i think personal needs of feeling competent, able to contribute, serve others and not just be taken care of are important needs to consider as well.


Best of everything to both of you! My heart goes out.

I got this kit when it was on sale for $60 ; I wore the camis that I got from the cancer center (insurance covered them) at home and usually saved this shirt for the post-op visits to my surgeon’s office.

The camis were essentially tank tops with pouches on the inside and velcro in the middle.

If you’re getting reconstruction later, recovery might be slightly harder bc of lymph nodes on both sides but probably not as bad; from what I hear/read, it’s tougher if they put the expanders in right away (if you’re doing implants).

My surgeon was amazing, she went over everything pre-op and honestly when she said I could go home same day (she left it up to me, she said she prefers people out of the hospital and in their own beds but if I felt the need to stay the night she was okay with that too) and just take tylenol for pain, I thought she was crazy. But no, she was definitely right.

She also had me follow up with the cancer center’s lymphedema specialist (an occupation therapist) who was wonderful in helping during recovery. She did everything from coaching me about my mindset and helping me focus on recovery as well as giving me exercises for range of motion and proper lymph drainage, massaging to release the scar tissue, and making sure I did not develop chronic lymphedema post op.

Other tips were from the dietitian, to make sure I got at least 50g of protein a day post op. I ate scrambled eggs for breakfast every morning, so that was 12g right off the bat, plus getting myself moving and cooking every morning was helpful. I made soup with bone broth before the surgery and that’s what I ate primarily right after surgery too. They recommended walks as soon as I could so I walked 3-5min on the treadmill at first then kept increasing.

I was a also bit bored and started sewing as a distraction (had never done it before) and ended up picking it up as a hobby, so anything you can do as a distraction helps, even if it’s Sudoku or playing on a Nintendo switch.

A drain pouch , Detachable shower head, bendy straws because lifting cups are hard. I found paper cups and plates helpful so I didn’t have to wash dishes. Get a seat belt cover for the car, that made a difference for me. Some people said a chair for the bathtub but that seemed like overkill to me. Oh-and this pillow has been amazing even now during reconstruction Bean pillow . They have that on amazon too. This website was particularly helpful for me-shopping list

Congrats on not having skin issues. I didn't either and I've had radiation 2x the last 2 years. I dont know about the corn starch though. My doctor frowned on it. But hey, we're each different. I was given tubes of this. It was wondetful for the skin especially my mastectomy & lymph nod scars. Good luck😊

Boiron First Aid Calendula Cream 2.50 oz ( Pack of 2) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B001G7QZVO/ref=cm_sw_r_other_apa_i_N4ZYDbFPSY5Z9

I’ve been watching this documentary - Cancer: The Emperor of All Maladies. It is very informative and gives you a realistic expectation of what cancer patients go through. It can be quite emotional though.

You are awesome for being there for your friend and for being so thoughtful - trying to research about BC.

When I was trying to make decisions on treatments options, I find it really helpful to talk to someone else instead of trying to figure it out myself. I wanted to get outside my own head, so it was great having people who know the terminologies to discuss with and help me figure it out.

https://www.amazon.com/Cancer-The-Emperor-All-Maladies/dp/B00UGDXUXK/ref=nodl_

I had an amazing surgical vest after my mastectomy. It had a row of clips and then a zipper. It applied pressure and held my drains against my side so I didn't worry about tugging them. I wore a belt kind of like an apron for my 4 drains.

After I got permission to remove the surgical vest (and had my expanders filled so it didn't fit anymore anyway) I got myself some stretchy front closing sports bras. I needed ones that would stretch to fit my expanders as they got bigger. I got a handful of these and I love them. Women's Zip Front Sports Bra Wireless Post-Surgery Bra Active Yoga Sports Bras (S:Fit 30A,30B,32A, 2 Pack(Black+Flesh)) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07Q2HTGS5/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_QUdGDbMP1MGNM