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I'm 30.

Part of me had wanted to be a father and a parent. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that the world needs less people to have kids, not more. I look at it as a resource issue. I try to be hopeful about the future, but the evidence I've considered suggests otherwise.

I have lots of reasons for not having kids, as probably most childfree people do. I understand conceptually some of the rewards of watching children grow up to become their own people with their own ideas. I think I would have been an excellent parent. But I also have life goals that I think come first, and as a parent I believe that my own aspirations would have to come second.

I'm a teacher, and I expect to become a better teacher because I can be career oriented and build my knowledge better with the available time to read more. I would rather spend my evenings reading a book than monitoring and disciplining kids.

A good book on the childfree movement is No Kids: 40 Good Reasons Not to Have Children by Corinne Maier. It's a quick read. It's style is humorous but at times serious.

A d&s abortion barely counts as surgery (dilation and suction). Nothing is cut, there’s no scalpels or scarring. It’s about as complicated as installing an iud. However if you’re from the United States, I wouldn’t take the ability to get an abortion now or in the future for granted, nor the ability to get the morning after pill.

I can’t take hormonal contraceptives and I bleed heavily already so copper IUDs are out for me. My birth control is condoms, and the morning after pill if they break. Abortion is also free and on request in my country, so failure of the first two methods is really not something I have to worry about because there’s always abortion. My partner is about to start contracting for an American company though, and it’s a possibility we may have to relocate stateside in the future. We’re both waiting for sterilisation appointments while we’re still here and still have inexpensive, comprehensive private health insurance where sterilisation is a policy benefit with no co-pay. (We pay around $80 USD a month each for the most expensive plan there is, which includes dental and optical cover and unlimited surgical and medical treatment in a year — my eyes water thinking what that same kind of cover is going to cost us in the US, hopefully we can get it as part of a renumeration package).

I think if you have the option of sterilisation you should take it. If you can’t handle it, next best option would be jadelle (the implant), with condoms, and the morning after pill (plan b) if you break any of those condoms. Stacked together that should lower the odds of pregnancy into the 1:100000s. Stock up on the morning after pill while you can still get it. Maybe even send away for some abortifacient pills from aidaccess.org as well. Pick a day of the month and test for pregnancy on that day every month with something like this: https://www.amazon.com/ClinicalGuard%C2%AE-Pregnancy-Test-Strips-Individually-Sealed/dp/B007VT30C8

I highly recommend a big pack of pregnancy tests. They're really easy to use, and they'll set your mind at ease. Very cheap for a ton of them. I use these: https://www.amazon.com/ClinicalGuard-Pregnancy-Test-Strips-Individually-Sealed/dp/B007VT2OQG/ref=zg_bs_166804011_4/138-8654923-4304842?_encoding=UTF8&refRID=KNS9WNGTGM1WJMSVENK6&th=1

Take them as often as you like to ease your mind :)

First of all, you're completely in the right. You are offering shelter to your friend, with stipulations such as not going into your private bedroom, and your friend agreed to the terms. If the rugrat isn't under control that's not your problem.

Second, you might want to look at a door knob lock like [this one] (https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B00BOZBDK6/ref=pd_aw_fbt_60_3?ie=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=7A41VTRX79TZ8NWVEX5F), which goes over the doorknob already there. Or a child proofing lock like the one [here] (https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01BWSJXAG?aaxitk=WZHCF3gwTkd.gev5Zmj-JA).

I would tell your friend to pay for one of those if she has a problem.

I bought baby's first cthulhu for my friends baby too! I also got her Pet the Zombie.

I love getting my nices and nephews things like that. I got my other friend a bib that has an arrow pointing up and says "Zombie Snack."

I have Nexplanon, too, and am adamantly child free. I have a fund for if I ever fall pregnant.

​

I also bulk buy these tests once a year and take one every month-ish. They're super cheap and just as effective as the $10 ones. Also, none of the in person awkwardness.

Close, but it's actually this one, which is sensitive to ~250 thousand, which in the medical literature indicates a "very low chance" of causing pregnancy. I'm going in for a lab test in 3 weeks, but this is FDA approved as an alternative to lab tests and highly recommended in the journals I read, so it's just an extra layer of reassurance.

UTI test strips: http://www.amazon.com/Areta-Parameter-Urinalysis-Reagent-Strips/dp/B00D5UZMDC/

bulk pregnancy test strips: http://www.amazon.com/ClinicalGuard-Pregnancy-Test-Strips-25-count/dp/B007VT30C8/ They have other amounts available as well. $10 for 2 years worth seems like a small price for peace of mind.

I loved No kid: 40 good reasons not to have children. It was funny and light-hearted but truthful.

http://www.amazon.com/No-Kids-Good-Reasons-Children/dp/0771054777

Thank you for sharing your perspective.

It's been shared here before, but this book provides stories of other folks who share our decision, for those of you embattled with the turkeys.

http://www.amazon.com/Okay-Youre-Brat-Priorities-Parenthood/dp/1580632025

By a parent, describes what it's like to be a parent with a lot of honesty.

The Myth of Motherhood by Susan Maushart. Mother of 4, wrote the book about a sociologist's view of motherhood from the inside.

[Here] (http://www.amazon.com/Wondfo-Pregnancy-Test-Strips-25-count/dp/B0002YIQEQ) is a link to a really good deal on pregnancy tests courtesy of r/birthcontrol.

She's even written a book about it; looks like an interesting read.

Women (and men who want to help out): you can buy Plan B on Amazon.

You can also buy the generic version for cheaper.

You do not need a prescription.

I've read these and enjoyed them:
http://www.amazon.com/Beyond-Motherhood-Choosing-Without-Children/dp/0671793446/ref=sr_1_11?ie=UTF8&qid=1330650303&sr=8-11

http://www.amazon.com/Baby-Boon-Family-Friendly-America-Childless/dp/0743242645/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1330650343&sr=8-1

https://www.amazon.com/Frozen-Recorder-Pack-Songbook-Instrument/dp/1495013057/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1479408597&sr=8-1&keywords=frozen+recorder

nothing will be worse than that!!!!! :D and no batteries, so they cannot disable it either :)

Didn't realize they were so common. I've never seen one on a car before. Looks like they're on amazon, too: http://www.amazon.com/ChainSaw-Nobody-FIGURE-FAMILY-Sticker/dp/B007PLZGO2

I was also thinking of handing her this book sooner to hopefully get her ready for the big talk
http://www.amazon.com/Okay-Youre-Brat-Priorities-Parenthood/dp/1580632025
I doubt it'll sway her opinion, but worth a shot.

Two Is Enough: A Couple's Guide to Living Childless by Choice. http://www.amazon.com/Two-Is-Enough-Couples-Childless/dp/1580052630/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1330708559&sr=8-1

I'm reading through this right now and am liking it so far.

Personally this is our favorite

http://www.amazon.com/Your-Stick-Family-Delicious-T-Rex/dp/B00CXYVKKA

Jen Kirkman wrote a book about it. I Can Barely Take Care of Myself.

http://www.amazon.ca/Can-Barely-Take-Care-Myself-ebook/dp/B008J4B3YG

Better this one

Oh that reminds me my husband got me one of these for Christmas and I still haven't put it on my car lol.

You might also like "The Baby Boon". CF-centered.

My Way Emergency Contraceptive 1 Tablet Compare to Plan B One-Step by Busuna https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00NKMY5E2/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_plx3CbS473KVV

That’s a generic ^

The brand is $31 and some change.

Let’s pool our money, our resources, and keep each other safe.

And it may have already been said on here but if you have insurance GET AN IUD while you still can!!!!!

I've got a few more:

1. [Go the F**k to Sleep] (http://www.amazon.com/Go-F-Sleep-Adam-Mansbach-ebook/dp/B004YMYR2C/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&qid=1414123015&sr=8-4&keywords=safe+baby+handling+tips)
   
2. [K is for Knifeball] (http://www.amazon.com/K-Knifeball-Alphabet-Terrible-Advice-ebook/dp/B009F3G958/ref=sr_1_5?ie=UTF8&qid=1414123015&sr=8-5&keywords=safe+baby+handling+tips)
   
3. [If You Give a Kid a Cookie, Will He Shut the F**k Up?] (http://www.amazon.com/You-Give-Cookie-Will-Shut-ebook/dp/B00F8GUN76/ref=pd_sim_kstore_4?ie=UTF8&refRID=0YJ34BBQ5B1T1H3H6WA0)
   
4. [That's Not Your Mommy Anymore] (http://www.amazon.com/Thats-Not-Your-Mommy-Anymore-ebook/dp/B004XI9IC6/ref=pd_sim_kstore_7?ie=UTF8&refRID=0YJ34BBQ5B1T1H3H6WA0)
   
5. [Safe Baby Handling Tips] (http://www.viralnova.com/baby-handling-tips/)
   
6. [How Not to Kill Your Baby] (http://www.amazon.com/How-Not-Kill-Your-Baby-ebook/dp/B006UD2COI/ref=pd_sim_kstore_11?ie=UTF8&refRID=0YJ34BBQ5B1T1H3H6WA0)
   
7. [Baby's First Tattoo] (http://www.amazon.com/Babys-First-Tattoo-Jim-Mullen/dp/0743224450/ref=pd_sim_sbs_b_1?ie=UTF8&refRID=1X05RPJDZ7T8R50RCB0Y)
   
8. [Raising the Perfect Child Through Manipulation and Guilt] (http://www.amazon.com/Raising-Perfect-Child-Through-Manipulation/dp/0061759570/ref=pd_sim_b_8?ie=UTF8&refRID=1VVWDAE9A2WAXA5KPHHD)
   
9. [The Taking Tree] (http://www.amazon.com/The-Taking-Tree-Selfish-Parody/dp/1442407638/ref=pd_sim_b_13?ie=UTF8&refRID=0FJDP8BFTG0CRQ0S9BAE)
   
10. [Fuck You Sun] (http://www.amazon.com/Fuck-You-Sun-Matt-Cole/dp/0615509142/ref=pd_sim_b_37?ie=UTF8&refRID=0FJDP8BFTG0CRQ0S9BAE)
    
11. [Bi-Curious George] (http://www.amazon.com/Bi-Curious-George-An-Unauthorized-Parody/dp/1604332832/ref=pd_sim_b_42?ie=UTF8&refRID=0FJDP8BFTG0CRQ0S9BAE)
    
12. [Monsters Eat Whiny Children] (http://www.amazon.com/Monsters-Whiny-Children-Bruce-Kaplan/dp/1416986898/ref=pd_sim_b_14?ie=UTF8&refRID=1VVWDAE9A2WAXA5KPHHD)
    
13. [How to Traumatize Your Children] (http://www.amazon.com/How-Traumatize-Your-Children-Deliberately/dp/1601063091/ref=pd_sim_b_23?ie=UTF8&refRID=1VVWDAE9A2WAXA5KPHHD)
    
14. [Reasons Mommy Drinks] (http://www.amazon.com/Reasons-Mommy-Drinks-Lyranda-Martin-Evans-ebook/dp/B00BVJG4C2/ref=pd_sim_kstore_39?ie=UTF8&refRID=0YJ34BBQ5B1T1H3H6WA0)

It seems that Buddhism and Hinduism have the same basis.
I know that the goal in Hinduism is to escape the cycle as well.
That's why people want to die in Varanasi.

I share your POV.
There is a great book to this topic - Better never to have been: The harm of coming into existence by David Benatar
http://www.amazon.com/Better-Never-Have-Been-Existence/dp/0199549265

Here you go

Edit: fyi they are not quite as accurate as an actual lab test.

Amazon has lots of them...this is the one I have on my car
http://amzn.com/B007PLZGO2

Not to be an enabler...but if you all don't want to spend a ton of money on pregnancy tests from drugstores or grocery stores, check out these from Amazon:

http://www.amazon.com/Wondfo-Pregnancy-Test-Strips-25-count/dp/B0002YIQEQ

Dollar Tree also has very accurate ones for $1 (and I believe that is specific to Dollar Tree, not any other dollar stores, but someone correct me if I'm wrong!).

https://www.amazon.com/Your-Stick-Family-Delicious-T-Rex/dp/B00CXYVKKA

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B007VT2OQG/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_AzChAbQKSAJ5N

These are the ones I bought. Will buy again when I eventually run out.

Maybe try this sort of lock

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00NKMY5E2/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_image_o00_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1 this is only 11 american dollars. stock up now.

You can get that sticker on Amazon

Badaboom badabing Ask and ye shall receive.

https://www.amazon.com/SpermCheck%C2%AE-VASECTOMY-2-Test-Kit/dp/B00KTI0JW2/ref=sr_1_2_s_it?s=hpc&ie=UTF8&qid=1480721631&sr=1-2&keywords=spermcheck+fertility+test

That's a fertility test, for people who want to get pregnant. The vasectomy ones are far more sensitive, though it doesn't specify what they are rated for.

http://www.amazon.com/SpermCheck%C2%AE-VASECTOMY-2-Test-Kit/dp/B00KTI0JW2/ref=lp_9552109011_1_1?srs=9552109011&ie=UTF8&qid=1452271433&sr=8-1

I have that sticker on my car too! Got it on Amazon.

Here!

Amazon.

Doesn't look as fancy but is cheaper and available now: https://www.amazon.com/SpermCheck®-VASECTOMY-2-Test-Kit/dp/B00KTI0JW2

she doesn't! http://www.amazon.com/Can-Barely-Take-Care-Myself-ebook/dp/B008J4B3YG

Speaking of recorders and kids: welcome to hell

get this!!

I buy the 100 count packs.

http://www.amazon.com/The-Baby-Boon-Family-Friendly-Childless/dp/0743242645

ClinicalGuard® HCG Pregnancy Test Strips (Individually-Sealed, Pack of 20) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B007VT2OQG/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_zggzCb9E95EKJ

Here's 20 for $6.50 - http://www.amazon.com/ClinicalGuard%C2%AE-Pregnancy-Test-Strips-Individually-Sealed/dp/B007VT2OQG/

She's openly childfree. Even wrote a book about it.

Some of This mixed with some water in a water gun will solve your problems pretty quickly.

Saw that over at r/funny too. I found it in two places; the original XKCD style here at Amazon:
https://www.amazon.com/Stick-Figure-Couple-Money-sticker/dp/B00LZ47RC4

Or this similar and sort of dorkier take off:
http://odditymall.com/childless-window-decal-with-money-bags

SpermCheck
$60US, pack of two. A small price to pay, IMO.

Edit: formatting because I'm a noob.

I can strongly recommend: Two is Enough which details the Childless by Choice project with interviews of couples in all phases of the decision.

I also read I Hate Other People's Kids which is just funny and terrible stories of dealing with other people's kids (title is a bit self explanatory)

My Way Emergency Contraceptive 1 Tablet Compare to Plan B One-Step by Busuna https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00NKMY5E2/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_GrDUDbD63RVEE

$9 on Amazon

You might enjoy this book, the author doesn't suggest we all commit suicide, but I think the topic might be right up your alley. "Better to Never Have Been - The Harm of Coming Into Existence" https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0199549265/ref=ox_sc_sfl_title_13?ie=UTF8&psc=1&smid=ATVPDKIKX0DER

Read this book and explain to them why you think having kids is wrong.

http://www.amazon.com/Better-Never-Have-Been-Existence/dp/0199549265/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1345756081&sr=8-1&keywords=better+never+to+have+been

That would probably help your argument. Most doctors likely assume you just want to engage in risky sexual behavior and will change your mind later.

Security cameras and Liquid Ass spray.

ETA: Motion-activated sprinkler.

There are doorknob locks you might try. They're like little plastic cages that hang around a knob. So no one can turn the knob, and it can only be unlocked with the key. They come in all shapes, I believe.

ETA: Not that you should have to get a lock. This is ridiculous. I'm just saying there are locks you don't have to screw into walls.

This is the most evil gift I have given.

http://www.amazon.com/Fisher-Price-Brilliant-Basics-Corn-Popper/dp/B00000IZOU

Ugh. I got tested twice after my vasectomy. I should get tested again...

Edit- Hey, I found this. And this indicates it's fairly accurate. Hmm...

"Abortion. It results in less criminal charges than me drop kicking her stomach."
"If I find out I have a kid only one of us will be alive within 6 months."
"I bet people told Hitler's dad he'd make a great father, look how his kid turned out. Mine would be worse."
"I'd rather remove my testicles with a shard of my glasses."
"I've already picked up a book on parenting! It's called How to Traumatize Your Children. It's the only guide on parenting I'm going to use."
"Sorry, there's already over 20 court orders preventing me from being in any way responsible for children. In fact, I should even be within 200m in any direction of one, but my parole officer is pretty understanding."
"But I'm nearing a metric ton of aborted foetuses. I need to complete my collection first."
"It's the only way I can still consume the flesh of my victims, I actually am a doctor who performs abortions."
"My therapists are concerned that I might listen to the voices in my head which say to flay the flesh of all those related to me by blood, and so shouldn't have kids."
"How long do you think it'll take to have the kid drinking me under the table? Nobody can keep up, and if I can't make a person able to I might as well just stick to slapping down a grand every time I come across someone drinking."
"Pffft, my girlfriend is aiming to be in the Guinness book of records for the most abortions, and I'm not getting in the way of her ambitions."
"I won't allow any baby that can't beat me in a fight share my DNA. I'm nearly at 500 victories, no losses. All fights have resulted in fatality."

All that I can come with right now.

These things are the most annoying toy ever invented: Fisher Price Corn Poppers.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B00000IZOU?pc_redir=1397815720&robot_redir=1



OR this loverly instrument of torture: Fisher Price Activity Center - like this

https://www.etsy.com/listing/27504528/fisher-price-crib-activity-center


My daughter had both of these and they were the inspiration for my long standing hatred of Fisher-Price.

https://smile.amazon.com/Liquid-Ass-Mister/dp/B000OCEWGW/ref=sr_1_1?s=toys-and-games&ie=UTF8&qid=1495812608&sr=1-1&keywords=liquid+ass

liquid ass link. And if the fence idea isn't your style

https://smile.amazon.com/Can-You-Imagine-Airzooka-Silver/dp/B00C2S97HA/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1495812663&sr=8-1&keywords=air+bazooka

Air Bazooka to aim the liquid ass at them.

https://www.amazon.com/Liquid-Ass-Mister/dp/B000OCEWGW

Edit: WTF, Amazon?! I've been an Amazon customer for decades and never gotten parent advertising. Today I search for Liquid Ass, and I get "Tell us about your little one" with boxes to enter my kid's birthday or arrival date. And there is no place to say "STFU, I don't have kids!" Grrrrr

I wouldn't tell her parents they made an immoral choice because I have a heart, but in my opinion, it's always morally questionable to have children.

20,000 children starve to death each day. Is it moral that people continue to have children despite such abominations?

Here's a book that espouses my beliefs:

http://www.amazon.com/Better-Never-Have-Been-Existence/dp/0199549265

Like someone else mentioned earlier, please do check out "Better Never to Have Been", and please try to do so with an open mind. I'm a pretty upbeat and happy dude and I've had a pretty wonderful life, but I do find his conclusions convincing. The argument isn't that "all life is pain and suffering and blackness and emo music wah", but more about the dichotomy of pleasure and pain and the prevention of suffering. Seriously, give it a fair shake.

ANYWAY. More reasons than just that (although that book really lead me into thinking about childfreedom and accepting that it's okay to not have kids):

• I simply do not want children. It is not a thing that interests or attracts me.
  
  
• I know you think the overpopulation thing is tired, but there it is.
  
  
• Children are incredibly expensive. That expense is not just monetary, but temporal and emotional as well. Your life is likely to go into stasis for 18+ years. I've seen couples broken up and people grow bitter and resentful. And sure, I've seen the opposite too, but it seems more rare to me. Do a quick google for "I hate being a parent" or "I regret having kids" or the like. It's not pretty.
  
  
• If I don't have kids and regret it, I suffer. If I do have kids and regret it, I suffer, my partner suffers, and - most unfairly - the kids suffer. That is not a betting line I'm interested in, especially considering my aforementioned lack of any desire for children and moral motivations in the opposite direction.
  
  
• My genetics aren't super encouraging, although it's not something I take heavily into consideration.
  
  
• Finally, I have yet to hear a compelling reason (that didn't just sound selfish) on the other side of this argument.
  
  Especially given the last point, can you explain your thought process on wanting to have kids?