Top products from r/friendship
We found 1 product mention on r/friendship. We ranked the 1 resulting product by number of redditors who mentioned them. Here are the top 20.
We found 1 product mention on r/friendship. We ranked the 1 resulting product by number of redditors who mentioned them. Here are the top 20.
> Though the part where you wrote that the stuff we shared is less meaningful, that is a hard thing to swallow.
Well, maybe I should clarify. The things that you shared may be less meaningful to her. They may have more meaning to you, though, possibly because you're holding on to the meaning.
What's interesting is the reverse may happen to you. At some point in your life, you'll have a relationship with someone, but you'll grow apart from that person where you won't want to be around that person as much. They may still want to be close to you, though.
There's an interesting book about this called "Attached": https://www.amazon.com/dp/1585429139/ -- You can probably find it at the library as well, if you don't want to buy it for $10.
It's a verbose version of this wikipedia page: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attachment_theory
A friend of mine found the book very interesting and it explained to her why she had difficulty with friendships/relationships.
Anyway, to address your points:
> 1- most people already have a close friend or a group of friends and are not taking applications.
Yes... And no.
Yes, many people already have close friend / friend group, but no. In fact, many will also take new comers... If they fit or add to the group somehow.
> 2- I have developed a fear of getting close to people (emotionly).
See that book "Attached". It covers this pretty well. It may help you realize why you carry this fear.
> 3- just because you strike a conversation with someone, that won't guarantee anything.
Yes, and if you don't strike up a conversation, then definitely, without a doubt, nothing will happen. So the reality is that when a door opens a little bit, why not open it a little more? If a door opens, don't just automatically close it. Chances are the person behind the door won't try to open it again. And then you have a self-fulfilling prophecy where you keep closing doors and indeed they'll stay shut. Yet somehow you'll keep hoping that all these doors will open magically and everything will be perfect. Friendships are hard sometimes. They can often take a little work. Sometimes they survive and get stronger, sometimes they don't. And that's how it goes.
As Woody Allen once said, "Showing up is 80 percent of life." Keep showing up. People will remember you and want to be your friend if you keep showing up. Not everyone, but some people.