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> Say if I can't find a teacher right away, how would you say I should try striking that "balance" you talked about? Any resources you'd suggest for each element (technical/musical/theoretical)?

Technical and musical elements are quite difficult to advise on because they are quite individual. Some people are very expressive but aren't necessarily brilliantly technical players and some are brilliantly technical but make music that sounds like robots, and all shades in-between.

If you pushed me I would say that something like Yousician's free lessons will get you off the ground as far as basic technique is concerned. Their free service is perfectly adequate for a complete beginner.

As far as musicality goes that's more difficult to teach. Really you're looking to try and "feel" something while you're playing and it's not quite the same as feeling an emotion - you're trying to feel the flow of the music. I found it helpful when I was first learning to play along to a track and not worry too much about getting it right - just noodle around trying to get into the feel of the thing. Playing with other people helps here too.

As far as theory goes that's easier.

Standard theory (you can call it 'classical' theory if you like but it applies to pretty much any form of music except really early music and more modern experimental stuff):
The AB Guide to Music Theory Part I
Music Theory in Practice Book I

(As you'll see from the Amazon listings there are more books in the Music Theory in Practice series, and there's an AB Guide to Music Theory Part II as well).
Get someone who knows what they're talking about to check your answers!

Jazz theory:
The Jazz Theory Book

Songwriting:

Chord Progressions for Songwriters

Bear in mind that music theory is a bit like art theory in that it's largely descriptive rather than prescriptive - it describes common practice and therefore gives you some guidelines but it's quite possible to follow all the rules and still come up with something that's fucking dreadful. So when you're writing try not to get bogged down with "is it correct?" - just ask yourself "do I like it? does it sound good?".


> What would an ideal (or even okay) progress would look like according to you?

I would say classical guitar grade 1 within 1-2 years is normal progress. If you're ambitious then 6 months to 1 year.

My best advice for you is to find a project for focusing your improvement. It's fun to be able to jam in different styles and settings, and it's a worthy long-term goal, but it's impossible to tackle so many things at once. Find a band to start/join, doing covers or originals. Or find some people to jam with every week. Or take lessons. If you can find a good teacher, lessons will be the best thing for you. Even if you can learn a ton on your own, you'll always have questions along the way that are best answered in person by a master player.

Once you find that project to focus on, center your learning around it. Figure out what theory will be useful. (I second smackhead's endorsement of musictheory.net. Also, Music Theory for Guitarists is a great theory book.)

Learn songs by ear as much as possible. It improves your ears, fingers, and mind. Even if you forget how to play it later, you'll improve through the process, and have that extra experience with you. Imagine learning 1000 new songs in the next year. You'll develop the ability to hear a song in your head and know how to play it, so that you'll never have to remember how the tabs go.

And for some serious motivation, check out some articles on my guitar blogs: From the Woodshed and Deft Digits. Good luck!

You need to consider why you want to learn guitar. That will answer some of your questions in itself.

For instance, do you intend to become a professional, virtuoso concert guitarist? If not, what difference does it make if you won't be as good as you could have been if you'd started earlier?

If you're like me, and you play for the pleasure of playing, for the joy of making music, how good you are doesn't really matter. I play because I love playing and I always have, even when I was just starting out and awkwardly struggling through my first chords. Practicing is never work for me because it's fun.

That's not to say that I'm not constantly trying to get better -- I certainly am. But this isn't a job or competition for me, it's something I do for fun and enjoyment. Let yourself have fun with it and the rest just doesn't matter. So if you're having a hard time learning to play something, but you're enjoying the learning process, it's all good. If playing the guitar is a chore for you, why bother? It's supposed to be fun.

So I say to you, go try it. Try to enjoy it. Find your way of making music with a guitar. If you love playing, keep it up. If it's just drudgery to you, let it go. There are no guitar police out there who will throw you in jail if you "aren't good enough" or you don't learn the "right way". There is no "right way". If you are enjoying making your own music then you are good enough and you're doing it the right way!

This is a wonderful book on the subject.

This is such an important (and IMO urgent) question for so many.

Sadly, the vast majority of guitar instructional material is either a) written for the unserious learner or b) written to not scare away the up-until-now-unserious learner.

That's why you see so many books and blogs on understanding theory (or playing jazz) that are full of TABs––in order to get the now-serious student to buy the book (or sign up for the course, etc) you first have to reassure them that everything is tabbed out and they won't have to read music, as if TAB and theory weren't at odds with each other.

Kudos to /u/igotthejack for this:

> While doing this focus on the note names while you play so by the time you're done you've also memorised all the notes on the fretboard.

And Ben Levin's youtube series is one of the few instructional pieces that doesn't make me want to stab myself in the face with one of the many pointy ends on a shredder's guitar.

Other quality standouts include:

First, Learn To Practice by Tom Heany

Music Reading For Guitar By David Oakes

Modern Method For Guitar Vols 1, 2, & 3 by William Leavitt

The Real Easy Ear Training Book by Roberta Radley


But there's good news in this too:

Because the vast majority of talented guitarists are so busy chasing their tails trying to figure out how to sweep pick faster or two-handed tap in the LandoCalrissian mode, even reasonably talented players with mediocre reading skills and a halfway decent knowledge of practical music theory get hired to play really great gigs.

That's my experience anyway. And getting hired for those gigs put me in contact with so many world-class players, which a) did as much as anything else to make me a "real" player, and b) helped me realize how so many of the things in the guitar-teacher-circle-jerk-echo-chamber are unimportant.

I think if you can get your practicing organized, fall in love with the metronome, record yourself (and listen back) often, and train your ear, you will be one badass player in a reasonably short time.

And if you learn the instrument in a way that lets you communicate with other non-guitarist musicians, you set yourself up to get actual paying work (and music theory gets waaaaaay easier).

My suggested order is:

1. Names of notes (to the point you prefer them to TAB coordinates: that's not the 8th fret of the 3rd string, it's Eb)
   
2. What notes go together in keys (ie know the Circle of Fifths so well you're never in doubt as to whether it should be called D# or Eb)
   
3. Understand how chords are built (so you're unfazed by something like | Fm7b5 Bb7b9 | Ebm9 | even if you've never played it before).
   
4. Understand how chords get built into progressions. (so when you glance that last example, you immediately think "oh, ii-V-i. Eb harmonic minor.)
   
5. Rhythmic notation (I'd say at least 80% of the guitar charts put in front of me on a paying gig are chords with rhythmic hits and no further melodic notation to read.)
   
6. Chart reading (knowing what "DS al Coda" and "second system" and "tag" and "ritard" mean, and what musician slang like "football" and "trashcan" and "railroad tracks" and "split the difference" mean.)
   
   Shameless plug, but I built a system that teaches these in a tiny daily lesson delivered by email. 1-4 are done, 5 & 6 are on their way soon. Free for now, just sign up for the first one (Note Names) and it'll walk you through all 6 in order (I'll be done with 5 & 6 by the time you finish 4).
   
   After that, read through the David Oakes & William Leavitt books mentioned above and you'll be 80% of the way to professional musicianship. A dedicated student (who already has a fair amount of technical proficiency) could pull that off in 6 months.
   
   TL:DR - The fact that you are even asking a question like this leads me to believe that you'll do just fine. Good luck!
   

I don't really play jazz music, nor do I listen to it that much, but I do hate the basic pentatonic sound. My recommendations for getting beyond on that would be:
1.) Read this book.
2.) Memorize the notes in scales/chords so that you can instantly recall, for example, what the major 6th from B is or anything else. Actually learning the notes that make up scales/chords instead of just the patterns on the fretboard is necessary, I feel, for the next step.
3.) Learn to target the notes of the chords that you're playing over more, instead of just doing the autopilot in a random scale thing that a lot of beginners do. That's a pretty standard skill in jazz, to be able to spell out the changes you're playing over. Of course, you don't have to limit yourself to playing target notes so much though, after you learn how to do it.
4.) Learn as many chords as you can.

After typing all that, I reread your post and it seems like you're going for the jazz fusion sound. My tips still help and that Mark Levine book I linked to will definitely still be useful to you, so don't chalk that up just because it doesn't look like a fusion book. But I also recommend now looking for some online lessons of that jazz fusion style you were talking about. That style of guitar seems to be pretty popular in terms of online lessons, so I don't think you'll have trouble finding anything. I would further recommend that you find some course that markets itself as a complete course in fusion guitar. If it costs money, then pay for it. Maybe pay for the fusion lessons instead of the Mark Levine book, if you're short on change. The reason why I say to pay for complete lessons, instead of trying to find some free lessons online, is that a complete course is just so much easier and better to work with than random, uncategorized lessons. You'll learn a lot more from some online course that's professionaly put together, than from some random dude on youtube who just makes videos in his spare time.

I have played for over 40 years... I am learning to sight read right now... I wish I would have started there... imagine if you could only get stories by having someone else read them for you... it really helps become an 'adult' in music... some of the things I found helpful are :

• Play any RHYTHM easily - perfect your timing and sight reading!
  
• Syncopation made easy! Interactive RHYTHM training.
  
• Music Reading for Guitar (It has taken me 2 months to get thru the first 25 pages... I keep going over them again and again because I REALLY want to master this)
  
  I play a dirt cheap guitar and amp (squire tele I spent a week working on the frets and a blackstar 1 watt combo... love this setup)
  
  I put my effort not in what gear I should have, but in how to be the best player I can be.
  
  I would have learned my scales AFTER learning to sight read. I would have learned at least 10 songs like the back of my hand before I ever learned a single scale. I would have taken Mel Bay a lot more seriously.

I was in a similar situation as you are, I played piano since I was young and when I took up guitar the fretboard was a bit daunting to me. It clicked for me when I imagined that each of the six strings was like its own separate piano so six dimensional if you will ;). Since each fret is a half step, its like the keys on a piano going up a half step. So the 'piano keys' on the lowest string start on E and go up by a half step, the next string is A so the 'piano keys' start on A, then go up and so on.

Once the set up of the fretboard made sense to me, it's all about memorization to know the exact locations of notes off hand. I think that this is going to be different for each person you need to figure out what makes sense to you. Memorize 'landmarks' such as each open string, the 12^th fret is an octave up, and the odd frets are good ones to start with memorizing.

I used this: http://www.guitarhabits.com/learn-the-guitar-fingerboard-thoroughly-in-16-days/ as well. I found it pretty helpful.

Also if you're looking for some books, http://www.amazon.com/Fretboard-Logic-SE-Reasoning-Arpeggios/dp/0962477060/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1313039330&sr=8-1 & http://www.amazon.com/Guitar-Fretboard-Workbook-Barrett-Tagliarino/dp/0634049011/ref=sr_1_6?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1313039376&sr=1-6 were both really good and helped me with understanding the fretboard and general mechanics of guitar.


Hope this helps! Good Luck!

I have authored the method that I wish had been used to teach me way back when I was starting.

The major scale pattern is the foundation for all the modes, the pentatonics and blues scales, as well as minor scale variations. Theory and guitar does not have to be confusing. Most methods simply present the material in the wrong order without giving the student the tools to understand what's going on.

This is my contribution to guitar: https://medium.com/@danbarber_12163/the-super-cluster-method-a-progressive-and-intuitive-method-for-teaching-the-guitar-fretboard-90e961e12a31

This method will teach you the C major pattern across the fretboard, break you out of the four fret horizon inherited from the CAGED system, help you train your ear and give you the tools to really exploit the fretboard very quickly. For those who've been playing a while, it will take you less than an hour.

After you get The Super Cluster Method down, take a look at The Rosetta Pattern which gives a similar intuitive treatment to modes and scales - also my work. You can get an overview of The Rosetta Pattern here: https://medium.com/@danbarber_12163/discovering-the-rosetta-pattern-26245fc0c374

I hope this helps you.

Edit: Woah! Someone gave me gold for this! Thank you, but I'll ask that if you wish to contribute to me, please post a review on amazon for the rosetta pattern (https://www.amazon.com/dp/1794677976). It's free and will help others find it, buy it, and allow me to continue my work.

This stuff was all really confusing to me for months. Believe it or not, it's actually way easier than it all sounds. I see most people have kindly written out some detailed explanations, but what I would personally recommend is just about any music theory focused on the guitar itself.

Music theory in general is a huge, huge concept so many books will be overwhelming to most.. but for just guitar you can find a lot of good books. Once you get just the guitar theory part down.. THEN you can move onto serious music theory or at least that is how I did it. It was way easier to understand after.

This is the one I started with for guitar:
https://www.amazon.com/Guitarists-Music-Theory-Book-Useful/dp/1893907783

It's really short but you can study it for quite a while and it has lots of great audio tracks along with a very simple approach. It doesn't go into complicated rhythm or notation.. just a simple ground approach to guitar theory. It cleared up a ton of smoke for me and all of a sudden I actually understood how the hell to move around the guitar neck.

I had a $99 Takamine from Guitar Center and it was great, till I dropped it and broke the headstock off. It was not this one it had a pickup in the bridge. That said people seem to like these.


http://www.amazon.com/Jasmine-S35-Acoustic-Guitar-Natural/dp/B0002F58TG

My main acoustic is this http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/reviews/acoustic_guitars/yamaha/fg700s/index.html

It rreally sounds good but the fret markings can be a pain. They are small and the 3rd fret is not marked. I played every thing guitar center had under ~$600 and this is the one I picked.

If you want a cut-away used might be better. When I buy a guitar I first make sure I like the tone and playability(action, neck thickness and width). Play Every string on every fret to make sure there is no buzz or dead spots. Good luck. You don't need to spend a lot to get a great guitar these days.

Get The Real Book and work on the easy-to-read stuff.

Most tunes don't stick to a single key, but many do feature an A section in a single key at least. So you could work on reading in the easier keys of C, G and F major at first, and just sticking to the parts you can read. A byproduct of this will be your increasing awareness of where the white keys are on your fretboard, which is a phenomenal skill to develop.

As you grow increasingly comfortable reading, you can add keys with up to 4 sharps and flats (D, Bb, A, Eb, E, Ab). Many of the tunes in the Real Book are in F, Bb, Eb and Ab (and their respective relative minors) so you'll have a ton of options here =)

Hello!
The first thing that you have to do is pick a system to help you memorize the fretboard, because 21-22 frets across 6 strings gets confusing really quickly. The system I recommend to everyone is the CAGED system, and you will find that it's the most commonly used system for understanding the fretboard. There's a great book that breaks down the entire fretboard using CAGED called Guitar Fretboard Workbook by Barrett Tagliarino. Here's an Amazon link - https://www.amazon.com/Guitar-Fretboard-Workbook-Barrett-Tagliarino/dp/0634049011

That book will give you a system to work with which acts as a foundation for your understanding of the fretboard. If you're looking to memorize all the notes on the fretboard as well, here's how I did it. Pick a note, C for example, and play all the C notes across the 6 strings. Then pick another note and play every instance of that note across the 6 strings. Start with maybe one or two notes a day, then slowly work your way up till you can do all 12 musical notes. Of course, there are many other ways to memorize the notes, but this exercise should suffice for now.
I hope I was helpful!

I'd just compare it to homework, as weird as that sounds. Homework, when done effectively, should take about 6 hours of your day. Taking plenty of time to warm up, stretch the fingers out, build a little dexterity,practice some scales, play/have fun/go wild/rock out, practice scales again, wind down, unplug. If you follow some sort of regiment like that, you'd be on the right track. Granted not every minute will be devoted to playing your instrument. Sometimes you'll find yourself reading tabs or music and singing it along in your head. People also believe in visualization exercise. I guess that has it's effect too.

A good book to get some exercises is Pumping Nylon. This was one of the books i needed for my Jr college guitar class. Note: Helps to be able read music or else you'll have a lot of catching up to do.

This review gives a good summary of what it's about: link

David Oakes' book on Sight Reading for Guitar is a decent one for learning how to sight-read if you're a beginner:

https://www.amazon.com/Music-Reading-Guitar-Complete-Method/dp/0793581885/ref=sr_1_fkmr0_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1466625720&sr=8-1-fkmr0&keywords=David+Oates+sight+reading

If you get through that one, try out William Leavitt's Melodic Rhythms for Guitar. This one is really solid:

https://www.amazon.com/Melodic-Rhythms-Guitar-William-Leavitt/dp/0634013327/ref=sr_1_5?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1466625895&sr=1-5&keywords=William+Leavitt

I've not looked through this one, but if you're interested in combining classical guitar and sight reading, it might be worth a shot:

https://www.amazon.com/Sight-Reading-Classical-Guitar-Level/dp/0769209742/ref=pd_rhf_se_s_cp_15?ie=UTF8&dpID=514XaC6KshL&dpSrc=sims&preST=_SL500_SR103%2C135_&psc=1&refRID=0E43T3ND9D1TG4KDPZVE

Good luck!

If you want to learn how to read, buy this: http://www.amazon.com/Modern-Method-Guitar-Volumes-Complete/dp/0876390114/ref=cm_cr_pr_product_top

Otherwise it sounds like you just want to do some ear training. There are lots of programs to do that. Or just record yourself playing intervals and when you play them back try and guess what they are. Start at thirds and fifths in the same octave and then expand as you get better at it. Do that every day.

If you don't know basic theory like scales and chords, that's where you need to start. There are roughly a bajillion books on the subject.

This book will give you the foundation of what you need in a nicely laid out manner (no affiliation). Don't be afraid of the word "jazz" in the title - the contents are great reading for any musician.

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1883217040

Aside from that, my advice is to:

Study how chords are built and what a "key" means. First, learn triads of a major key, then learn the "7th" chords of the major key. Do this soon. This will make you a musician as well as a guitar player! Here's a random web site that goes over this, there are many others as well:

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/lessons/chords/what_chords_are_in_what_key_and_why.html

Basically, you write down the scale, for example, C major:

C D E F G A B C

Start at each note and build a chord with every other note.

C = C E G

D = D F A

etc.

For "7th" chords:

C = C E G B

D = D F A C

etc.

Understanding what a "key" is and what chords are "in the key" is huge.

Try books. They tend to be more focused on sequence and scope of information. While you may get some of the same info online, the manner in which a text will present it adds significant value.
here're two i've liked: http://www.amazon.com/Guitarists-Chords-The-Foundation-Melodic-Soloing/dp/1423483219/ref=pd_sim_b_4?ie=UTF8&refRID=1P4KMJPFH2RW2XY8WK6K

http://www.amazon.com/How-Write-Songs-Guitar-Revised/dp/0879309423/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1411569974&sr=1-1&keywords=write+songs+on+guitar

have fun.

Studying Jazz lead sheets is the most helpful, and the most commonly used book is the Real Book. The real book has Jazz Standards, and it gives the lead sheets with the melody written in sheet music, and the chord symbols written above the staff.

​

Looking at chords is mostly seeing what the quality of it is (minor, major, dominant, ect.), and then just looking at the extensions. Once you understand the types of chords, everything else is pretty simple.

​

I've made a guide to reading chord symbols, and it goes over all the common types of chords with common extensions. Here you go: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1G9GsGFRwS_2VqbyKma1JL8nti3OMTHZm5eGZ7nTU1zY/edit?usp=sharing

​

One last thing, you want to figure out chords yourself, or you'll never be able to completely understand chords, but if there are just some things that you can't figure out, here's a book I use that has chords galore in all keys: https://www.guitarcenter.com/Proline/Picture-Guitar-Chord-Pocket-Guide-Book.gc Think of it more as a something that helps, not your go-to thing for figuring out chords.

​

Hope this helps!

Pumping Nylon is a terrific finger exercise book for left hand and right hand, which I think translates well to all guitar styles.

CAGED is a system for understanding and navigating the guitar's fretboard and arises from the standard tuning of the guitar. It's based on the five basic moveable chord forms C, A, G, E and D.

These five chord forms create a pattern of notes up the entire fretboard providing a mechanism for finding and naming chords and scales.

For example, C form in the open position connects to the A form in the 3rd position. The A form in the 3rd position connects to the G form in the 5th position. G form connects to E form in the 8th position. E form to D in the 10th position. Each of the forms in their respective positions results in a C Major chord.

Also, being moveable forms, playing C form in the open position will give you a C Major chord. Playing C form in the 5th position will give you an F Major chord and so on.

I suggest checking out Fretboard Logic for an excellent introduction to the CAGED system.

I would do 2 things:

1. Buy some pocket strings so that you can practice some basic hand positioning, stretching, dexterity drills, scale shapes, and chords. I found that stuff to translate very well to an actual guitar.
   
2. Start working on fretboard memorization. Pick up the Guitar Fretboard Workbook. I've found it to be a really good resource with tons of exercises that you can do with just a pen. Of course, it's ideal to reinforce that knowledge on an actual guitar, but you can go back and do that when you get one. Going through it twice will probably be helpful.

The Art of Contemporary Travis Picking by Mark Hanson was really helpful for me. If you're interested in the Travis picking style, this could do you good!

There are so many different aspects to playing that you could spend time practicing.

Here are just some ideas off the top of my head:

• pick a genre and study it
  
• build a repertoire of licks
  
• practice using said licks along with backing tracks
  
• study theory (recommend the book Music Theory for Guitarists)
  
• ear training
  
• different techniques (sweep picking, hybrid picking, fingerstyle, etc)
  
• practice improvising to backing tracks with scales
  
• study songwriting
  
  Hate to plug my own site, but that is EXACTLY the problem I created the GuitarWOD (Workout of the Day) to solve.
  
  Good luck! Let me know if you need any more detail about how to go about practicing any of these or any other ideas you come up with.

I would suggest the Guitar Grimoire for learning scales. It is the most complete scale book for guitar that I've found.

Getting into playing songs is pretty simple. Find some songs that you enjoy and look for tabs on Ultimate Guitar. Tremolo picking isn't too hard- just alternate pick as fast as you can.

Beginner here. I was using a very cheap acoustic when i started a few months ago. I finally got approval from my wife to buy a new guitar that wasn't difficult to play. I did quite a bit of searching and looking at reviews but it all came down to a Yamaha FG700s. I could not be happier with this guitar. I took along my Father in law and he's been playing for 40 years and he said he loved it too so I had someone there who knew if it was crap or not. I went to a local Guitar Center to get mine but it's also available at amazon.

http://www.amazon.com/Yamaha-FG700S-Acoustic-Guitar/dp/B000FIZISQ/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1341345958&sr=8-1&keywords=fg700s

The FAQ recommends this book, which is an excellent guide for beginners. As for books of music, what style of music do you want to learn?

OK, well, Her-Dad's a bit off in describing what a mode is, but whatever... if what he's written is new info for you, then you definitely need a book. I recommend The Guitar Handbook. You will learn a lot.

Honestly, I have a Takamene Jasmine that I bought 8 years ago for ~$100.

It works just fine.

Here is a used one at GC:
http://www.guitarcenter.com/Used/Takamine/Jasmine-Acoustic-Guitar-113273305.gc

And here it is on Amazon:
https://www.amazon.com/Jasmine-S35-Acoustic-Guitar-Natural/dp/B0002F58TG/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&qid=1497546428&sr=8-4&keywords=acoustic+guitar

Buy this book- http://www.amazon.com/The-Contemporary-Travis-Picking-Fingerpicking/dp/0936799005

I've tried a few different DVD's, books, youtube clips,etc but have found this book most useful.

I've heard a lot of great things about Fretboard Logic.

Great book I've just bought on this very subject - Chord Tone Soloing A Guitarist's Guide to Melodic Improvising in Any Style

https://www.justinguitar.com

Start with the beginner course, and work your way through the intermediate course. These are basic but they will give you a solid foundation to build from. Maybe after that go for the Guitar Fretboard Workbook and/or Fretboard Logic SE. Should put you well on your way.

I had a lot of luck with this:

https://www.amazon.com/Chord-Tone-Soloing-Guitarists-Improvising/dp/0634083651

This is a good book.

I found this book " Guitar Fretboard Workbook" to be helpful.

https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0634049011/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1501090842&sr=8-1&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_QL65&keywords=guitar+fretboard+workbook&dpPl=1&dpID=51zV7bok4fL&ref=plSrch

Guitar, Amp, Instrument Cable, Headphones, Auto-Tuner, Metronome, Capo, Picks, Strings, Stand, Strap, Bag, String Winder, Polish & Cloth

Don't make them spend more than ~$200 on this. Consider pitching on for some of the accessories at least (though be aware that some of them are quite necessary right off the bat, such as a tuner).

You won't be able to appreciate the difference between a $100 guitar and a $5000 guitar by sound for at least a year and just to get started you need a bunch of supplies (see list above) and the cost adds up quick.

The guitar won't break unless you abuse it. Squier instruments are decent. In fact, you could even get something like a First Act at Walmart for under $100 and still not be able to appreciate the difference for quite a while.

You would probably like this workbook on Amazon.

If you were taught by learning tabs, then you most likely were taught how to play songs and not how to play and understand the guitar.

You need an instructor who will teach you how to learn music through using the guitar. Sounds like you missed out on some basic concepts of theory, too. You could always get a music theory book, such as The Guitarist's Music Theory Book

Normally I'd say practicing those scales is the best finger exercise that money can buy, but if you're having trouble playing the notes cleanly with the 4th finger, it kinda defeats the purpose.

Your case might be the rare time I'd recommend one of those grip training devices.

Guitar Gripper

I am avoiding playing songs by ear, right now. I'm learning to walk before I run by simplifying it and focusing on the sounds of scales. I'm working on my music theory knowledge alongside my ear. I'll play the scale from a book I'm working in, and listen to the sound of the scale, notes, and chords.

This book.

Different approach then you’ll find here. But after 15 years of playing, it’s the one that spoke to me most.

Zen Guitar:
https://www.amazon.com/Zen-Guitar-Philip-Toshio-Sudo/dp/068483877X

The main thing you want to address first is fretboard knowledge so you'll at least have a mental map of where everything is.

This book helped me a lot with that - https://www.amazon.com/Guitar-Fretboard-Workbook-Barrett-Tagliarino/dp/0634049011?ie=UTF8&*Version*=1&*entries*=0

A Modern Method for Guitar - Volumes 1, 2, 3 Complete

http://www.amazon.com/Yamaha-FG700S-Acoustic-Guitar/dp/B000FIZISQ/

This book, scales over chords has helped me alot, and the appendix is a dunk.
http://www.amazon.com/Guitarists-Chords--Foundation-Melodic-Soloing/dp/1423483219/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1346684622&sr=1-1&keywords=scales+over+chords

The Guitar Grimoire: A Compendium of Formulas for Guitar Scales and Modes https://www.amazon.com/dp/0825821711/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_AjiNDbG7RNZBY

Pick up a copy of The Rosetta Pattern. It does just this. It gives you a really simple way to think about the modes and scales. It helped me a lot.

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Edit: here's the link https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1794677976

https://www.amazon.com/DAddario-Varigrip-Adjustable-Hand-Exerciser/dp/B001OCGGEM

Planet Waves pro winder. http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B0002E1G5C

Buy Fretboard Logic. I'm sure not everyone agrees but those books were a big help to me. Maybe "big help" is a bit much as I still totally suck but that's no fault of the books, just that I don't practice enough. The books helped me to start to see the fretboard as a whole instead of just knowing some chords.