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I would think that really important things to learn first would be proper situational awareness, and learning how to avoid things before they become problems, and learning how to run. I think a great cardio routine and the ability to put it in full gear with a sprint would be a great too. And then having the endurance to outrun your attacker. If you have to engage I think having a weapon on you (legal in your state) could even the odds, yet be sure you practice with that weapon and use it in a way where it can't be turned against you. Practice reaching for it too and pulling it out, and then be prepared to run afterwards. If you can't do that and somehow you still get taken into the fight then I would recommend BJJ, which will help you permit someone's bodyweight to go in the direction you want it to more and give you more of a fighting chance off the ground, and also Judo so you can help trip larger opponents (and then run). If you have to strike I would recommend something that has live sparring like boxing, kickboxing, or certain forms of karate, just so you get used to being hit and figure out the spacing needed for combat. Once you get used to that you'll be able to fight easier, and then run. And if you can practice going from one thing to the other, from striking to grappling. and vice-versa. Also learn to use your voice, and your posture, be assertive. Sometimes being direct but non-confrontational with people, (is there something I can do for you?) letting them know that you see them in a confident tone with direct but non threatening eye contact can let people know that you see them and maybe make them think twice.

I would recommend some books

Defensive Living: Preserving Your Personal Safety through Awareness, Attitude and Armed Action

The Gift of Fear and Other Survival Signals that Protect Us From Violence

Solo Training 2: The Martial Artist's Guide to Building the Core for Stronger, Faster, and More Effective Grappling, Kicking, and Punching (there are some great tips in here for the mental side of the game too, including tips for women)

Good luck with everything.

Also there's a great DVD set How to Defeat the Bigger Stronger Opponent with Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu

And Frank Shamrock has a good series on Defending the takedown Avoiding Takedown is Simple Part 1/3 (this one's on youtube Edit: Warning at some point there's some crackling in the right ear, be careful if you're on headphones)

Good luck!

If you're not in a bad area now, you're likely able to keep yourself from ending up in one in the future, which is always the best policy.

Once real, pressing, threats have been eliminated as a concern, it becomes a matter of speculation. What kind of not nice area do you expect to end up in? Where do you plan to move. What's an appropriate response in one locale will land you in serious trouble in another locale.

For starters I'd say get your hands on Scaling Force, which will give you a good idea of the necessary considerations for self defense, and that might help you narrow down what might be appropriate.

As far as a general rule goes though, running is often the best option. So practicing Parkour is a good idea (your small size is actually something of an asset here, as it's easier to pull your body up to get over obstacles compared to a larger person). Most martial arts and self defense instructors will advise that running is the best option, but won't actually teach you how to run. It's a good default option, and even if you have a false positive, it's never really going to be the 'wrong' decision.

In a situation in which you really can't run, a lot of martial arts will be limited, or useless. Tae Kwon Do, Shotokan Karate and Capoeira, for instance, all work best at ranges at which you can run very well, so practicing those styles isn't particularly useful (for modern people in most situations). You're either unable to run because you're being held, or because the area is crowded. For either situation, clinch work is ideal. If you're being held, you want a strong grappling base to get out of the hold - and once you're out, run - and if you're in a crowd, you don't want to turn it into a brawl, so throwing a punch and accidentally hitting someone else isn't a good idea. Still in line with the recommendation for dealing with school bullies, Judo and wrestling are very good default options (and with wrestling, once you graduate high school your opportunity to train it is quite limited, while you can quite easily begin practicing most other martial arts as an adult).

With a parkour + wrestling/Judo base, you can then look at other options, which would be best selected based on what you expect your situation to be. For instance it's utterly pointless for me to train gun disarms because where I live only gang members get shot, and when they do, it's at a distance. I could potentially be a victim of collateral damage, but that's not something I'd ever have the opportunity to do anything about. In other parts of the world, people actually get guns pointed at them at personal range, so for there practicing gun disarms would actually be useful. Since it's impossible to adequately prepare for every possible situation, for good self defense it's really important to figure out what the most likely risks are and specifically address them.

Perhaps you've already gotten him a book by now, but here are my recommendations for him and anyone else who reads this thread. I'm a martial arts researcher and a former martial arts teacher. I even wrote my Master's Thesis on martial arts. I've read literally hundreds of books on the subject. There are a lot of terrible books out there on the martial arts but you can't go wrong with any of these.

If he studies Shotokan, the best place to start is with the guy who invented it.
Karate-Do: My Way of Life is written by the founding master of Shotokan, Gichin Funakoshi.
http://www.amazon.com/Karate-Do-Way-Life-Gichin-Funakoshi/dp/1568364989/ref=sr_1_10?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1411959258&sr=1-10&keywords=shotokan


My number one recommendation is When Buddhists Attack by Jeffery Mann - This is an very well researched book on the history of the relationship between Zen and the Martial arts. It is a fantastic book that will help him deepen his understanding of martial arts instead of intentionally mystifying it more to try to sell more books like most martial arts books do.
http://www.amazon.com/When-Buddhists-Attack-Curious-Relationship/dp/4805312300/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1411958781&sr=1-1&keywords=when+buddhists+attack



If he's more into stories, I'd recommend Musashi by Eiji Yoshikawa. It's a novelization of one of the most famous samurai to ever live. It's an exaggeration of his life but very entertaining.
http://www.amazon.com/Musashi-Epic-Novel-Samurai-Era/dp/156836427X


If he'd rather learn about the real person I'd recommend The Lone Samurai by William Scott Wilson. Wilson is a famous translator and historian, his work is very well researched and enjoyable to read.
http://www.amazon.com/Lone-Samurai-Life-Miyamoto-Musashi/dp/1590309871/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1411958941&sr=1-1&keywords=the+lone+samurai


I'll end with a list of books NOT to buy. These are books are really popular but are full of misinformation, outright fabrications, or worse.


Joe Hyams - Zen in the Martial arts
Eugen Herrigel - Zen in the Art of Archery
Inazo - Nitobe - Bushido

Hope this helps! If not, you have gift ideas for next year!

This is an excellent guide to how to stretch, here. The only problem is that it doesn't really tell you what stretches to do, although in your case it sounds like you need to do more dynamic stretches. So for a big fat book of different types of stretches I would look at Relax into Stretch. I was able to find it at my local library. Another resource that I have not used, but came to me highly recommened is Stretching Scientifically. Using these programs you should be able to get into the splits in anywhere from 6 months to a year. Also, make sure you are doing strengthening exercises as well. Safe flexibility depends a large part on your strength.

Tl;DR read this and begin practicing boot to face TKD very soonly.

I've trained in Judo, Aikido, and Ninpo Taijutsu. Been in one, the other, or both for about half of the last 20 years.

Your weight does not preclude your participation in most martial arts, as I'm sure you've seen just about every martial art under the sun suggested here. And I definitely recommend that you choose an art that appeals to you and go for it.

Having said that, if I were in your shoes I'd add a year of conditioning to my weight loss program before I joined any art. You'll simply get more out of the art itself if you show up in shape the first day. Also, if you are 346 pounds, right away you are choosing an art based on your current physical condition and not based on what you think the art can do for you long term. Remember, quality martial arts are a lifetime pursuit. They will still be there waiting for you in a year.

As for the conditioning program: Running and Lifting, via C25k and Starting Strength.

Normally I'd recommend you plow through c25k and get to running a couple 5k's a week, then maintain that while you spend the rest of the year working through Starting Strength. You may find that at your weight, it's not a good idea to start running yet. Certainly make sure you do it on a treadmill if you decide to do it first since that will be easier on your knees.

While you are working on your conditioning programs, spend the next year researching your options for martial arts. Find out what is locally available, which of those options interests you, go and watch a class from each of the candidates. Take your time and try to assess the quality of the instructors, quality of their students, whether the dojo is a blackbelt factory, etc. Learn the issues.

What I have described will keep you very busy for one year. I'm not saying this is a prescription for what you should do, or that it is superior to any other plan you might come up with. I'm just giving you something to think about, how I would approach this from my perspective. I like to have long and short term goals that dovetail together.

EDIT: Another benefit to having a non-martial art conditioning program in place before you start training your art is if you get injured, you have running and/or lifting to fall back on while you are recovering.

I would second Mas Ayoob's stuff. Some of it is a bit dated, but still great stuff especially for the application of deadly force. His book In the Gravest Extreme is sort of considered the de-facto "self defense firearms 101" by most people.

Judicious Use of Deadly Force, and Shoot to Live are on youtube and are very fascinating, especially the Judicious Use of Deadly Force.

I'd also recommend checking out videos by Clint Smith, the operator of Thunder Ranch.

Coming into firearms from martial arts I quickly noticed that the mindset is exactly the same. That is, from a self defense stand point and not a sport fighting stand point. Martial artists who try to learn "not to die" as opposed to "win" have exactly the same mindset as defensive firearms proponents. Notions such as de-escalation, only acting when you are basically justified in stopping another human and possibly removing their right to live and things like that. The whole pride fighting, bar fights, etc have no place there. And just like martial artists, skilled firearms instructors across the board teach situational awareness above everything else and emphasize that the gun is simply a tool in the repertoire of a person seeking to not be a victim.

I really agree with swilkeni in that it is a martial art all its own. Throughout history the martial fields concerned with actual defense (and in this case offense and defense are practically the same thing), save a few small examples, are primarily concerned with the use of weapons. You can see that in any culture's history, from Japan where modern martial arts concerned with unarmed fighting are entirely a modern invention, to Europe and where ever else. People who want to survive learn to use weapons, simply put, and in America we have the right to carry the most effective single weapon a modern human can get: a gun. =D

Really solid read and yeah I mostly agree.

I'm just interested in what's effective. I think personally if you want to incorporate TMA into your style you should train, mma, Boxing, Muay Thai, BJJ, judo etc first then just pick out the nuggets of TMA you want later. Or you could find a fighter/trainer that has already mixed them like Duke Rufous or Rafael Cordeiro.

Like I don't need to be a 3rd degree TKD black belt to have a solid side kick or spinning heel hook kick.

Theres also the issue that not all TMA are created equal, like you're probably gonna have an easier time incorporating Kyokushin into your actual fighting than say Wing Chun because it's just more realistic.

Also would reccomend this and really anything written by Erich Krauss. Specifically his books covering Eddie Bravo.

/u/Toptomcat nailed it. Wholeheartedly agree in reference to Bubishi, not very practical but interesting nonetheless. I loved Draeger's CAFA and Unante is comprehensive thesis on the historical origins and lineages of the Okinawan fighting arts. These titles might not be for everyone but I am a history buff in addition to a martial artist so I enjoyed them.

Couple of others:

• Book of the five Rings-Miyamoto Musashi
  
  
• Karate-do: my way of life- Funakoshi
  
  A few off-topic but related titles:
  
  
• Ways of the Peaceful Warrior
  
  
• Autumn lighting
  
  
• American Shaolin
  
  
• The Ronin
  
• Musashi-perhaps on of my favorite novels of all time
  

Gotcha.

I'm pretty weak on stretching as I've always been pretty flexible and haven't put a ton of time into it, but AFAIK, for range of motion issues the main point is making sure you stretch for long enough (like at least a minute or two for a stretch) and actually relax the muscles being stretched while doing it. I'd recommend waiting until after class to do super-serious stretching; it lengthens the muscle fibers which weakens them temporarily and may make you slightly more susceptible to injury. Deep stretches for short periods of time effectively just warm the muscles up (and don't increase max ROM), so are fine to do whenever but won't improve your total flexibility.

I've heard multiple recommendations for [Stretching Scientifically] (https://www.amazon.com/Stretching-Scientifically-Guide-Flexibility-Training/dp/0940149451) by Kurz, but I haven't used it or its programming myself.

Robotic motion: try to make sure your back is straight when you're moving. Unfortunately there are a lot of places it can not be. IME it's important to pay attention to the transitions between the c-spine and t-spine (base of the neck) and t-spine and l-spine (bottom of the ribs). Make sure that you're "stacked" in both of those locations and you're not at the end of your ROM either forward or backward. Try to get power in your movements by rotating your entire upper body using the hips, then back assists and arms add a little bit of snap but do very of the base power generation.

I know this is old school, but still works and inexpensive to make.
http://shitokai.com/archives/652
There is also some great knowledge to be found in http://www.amazon.com/Karate-Do-Kyohan-The-Master-Text/dp/1568364822
Good Luck!

You're going to have a hard time finding good information in one place. The best thing I can think of is more of an encyclopedia that I bought for my coffee table: The Way of the Warrior by Chris Crudelli (of Mind, Body, and Kick Ass moves documentary series). http://www.amazon.com/Way-Warrior-Martial-Fighting-Styles/dp/0756639751

It is a huge list of many kinds of martial arts and has at least a paragraph or two about each. For the bigger ones there are several page spreads that talk about technique, training, and other unique aspects of that martial art. It's pretty basic info though.

I wouldn't mind is contributing to said guidebook if someone is interested in spearheading the initiative but aside from that, the best way is to ask us here on r/martialarts.

So yeah, I'm down for writing some stuff.

I'm reading this one right now....it had an interesting beginning, and a slow and boring middle, but I hope the last few chapters get fun again. It's about an Englishmans experiences in Japan while enrolled in a tough Aikido class for policemen. It's worth a read, I'd say....just for fun.

https://www.amazon.com/Angry-White-Pyjamas-Scrawny-Lessons/dp/0688175376

It's almost impossible to teach yourself any martial arts style unless you already have a high baseline of athleticism or already have some training in a combat sport or martial art. Without observation and feedback from an expert, you're at a very high risk of developing poor habits and potentially injuring yourself long-term. I'm sure you know that already, though. If you must practice by yourself, here are some tips:

​

1. Film yourself from every angle and compare it with what you see in the videos. If you can find a mirror, use that, too.
   
2. Like other commenters have suggested, combat sports such as boxing and wrestling are "martial arts," too, and extremely useful for self-defense and general fitness. Try to find a club or instructor nearby for those.
   
3. Work on basic fitness, including strength, endurance, and flexibility. Lift weights, do some cardio (calisthenics, jogging, cycling, etc.) and stretch at least a little every day.
   
   ​
   
   Here are some of my favorite resources. Note that I use these to supplement my training because I am a karate black belt with over a decade of experience; I really don't think beginners can teach themselves from videos or books. Proceed very slowly and with caution. If and when you do get formal instruction, be prepared to unlearn a lot of bad habits you may have accidentally acquired.
   
   ​
   
   Here are my favorite martial arts YouTube channels:
   
   ​
   
   
4. Fight Tips – MMA instruction by Shane Fazen https://www.youtube.com/user/FightTipsVideos
   
5. Kwonkicker – Taekwondo and Muay Thai instruction by Micah Brock https://www.youtube.com/user/kwonkicker
   
6. Ando Mierzwa – Kung Fu and general martial arts instruction by Andrew Mierzwa https://www.youtube.com/user/AndoMierzwa
   
7. Ginger Ninja Trickster – Taekwondo and kickboxing instruction by Aaron Gasser https://www.youtube.com/user/GingerNinjaTrickster
   
8. ATHLEAN-X – Strength training and general fitness by Jeff Cavaliere https://www.youtube.com/user/JDCav24
   
   ​
   
   My favorite books:
   
   
9. Stretching Scientifically – If you want to develop high kicks and good overall flexibility, you need this. A guide to stretching by Thomas Kurz https://www.amazon.com/Stretching-Scientifically-Guide-Flexibility-Training/dp/0940149451
   
10. Championship Fighting – A handy guide to boxing by world heavyweight champion Jack Dempsey https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1501111485
    
11. Training and Fighting Skills – An introduction to kickboxing by undefeated champion kickboxer Benny Urquidez https://www.amazon.com/Training-Fighting-Skills-Benny-Urquidez/dp/0865680159/

The Book of Martial Power talks about strategies and general MA principles. Some are very good and intrinsic to many MAs, but the more I read the more I felt the author was very influenced by the Internal Chinese MA shtick. So a lot was pretty good, but some was really weird and definitely does not apply to most or even many MAs. So I would say it's a 'must read' about intangibles, but some of it you might not even understand unless you've done CMA, however those bits are mostly rubbish so don't worry too much about it.

Jump rope, run, do body weight exercises (push-ups, pull-up, air squats, crunches, burpees, etc), stretch out, buy a set of rings and do pull ups and ring exercises.


I have the Bas Rutten workout, and you can do them with air punches/kicks if you don't have a bag. The kickboxing CD has 10 2-minute rounds with 1 minute rest in between or 10 3-minute rounds with 1-minute rest in between. If you can do the 2-minute round set with good technique, you have pretty decent cardio. IF you can do the 3-minute round set, you're bangkok ready.

​

There's also the Precision Strike app that you can get for your phone, where it calls out combinations and does round timers. I used to use it more, but I find I like the pacing of Bas's workouts better.


Finally, you can always just pull up a workout video on youtube. Some might require you to work a heavy bag. Some won't.

Since you already have martial arts experience, you can learn on your own so long as you have a partner. My recommendation is that you pick up Gracie Combatives, and get a technical blue belt. The Gracie Combatives program is the best introduction to Brazilian Jiu Jitsu I've ever seen. It will definitely help you increase your self-defense skills.

On Amazon:

https://www.amazon.com/Gracie-Lifestyle-Combatives-Standard-Package/dp/B002SUVCFW/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1467518643&sr=8-1&keywords=gracie+combatives

Here.

As far as these things go, it's a pretty good book. He breaks down virtually all of the tangibles in his fighting system with decent written description together with exhaustive photos. What you won't get, and what I think you can't really get from a book, are the intangibles that allowed him to link it all together into a seamless whole. But take it for what it's worth. I feel like I definitely gained from it.

Sigh.

I've got to do it again: check out Rory Miller's book "Facing Violence:Preparing For The Unexpected", in which he talks about this very thing, among others. Seriously; he's thorough, clear, easily readable, very experienced and knowledgeable, and if you haven't read it, I suspect it will seriously alter your approach to martial arts.

Here's a few links:

http://21dragons.com/blog/2011/facing-violence-by-rory-miller

http://www.amazon.com/Facing-Violence-Unexpected-Rory-Miller/dp/1594392137

http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/9904173-facing-violence

Honestly, I'd love to offer some insight - but anything I'm likely to say, Miller has said already, and more effectively.

http://www.amazon.com/Facing-Violence-Unexpected-Rory-Miller/dp/1594392137/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1341408013&sr=1-1&keywords=facing+violence

People, if you would just read this book you wouldn't have to fill this subreddit (weekly) with the same question and a bunch of almost-got-it answers.

Its $12. Read it and I promise you will have the answers to these questions and the mindset to prepare you for these things (as well as a new approach to training which should maximize your results).

:)

I recently finished reading it. It's a good book, and the course seems rather interesting. Just realize that it's going to screw with you mentally as well as physically.

Good reading books:
https://www.amazon.com/Martial-Musings-Portrayal-Arts-Century-ebook/dp/B00F3GV7B2/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1480049500&sr=1-2&refinements=p_27%3ARobert+W.+Smith

https://www.amazon.com/Angry-White-Pyjamas-Scrawny-Lessons/dp/0688175376/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1480049639&sr=1-1&keywords=angry+white+pajamas

If you want to learn to fight, go into a bar a few times and pick one. The best way to learn.

You asked about martial arts, I'll give you some tips. I can appreciate what the other folks mentioned about running and stuff, but in my mind, a good martial arts class that has a self defense bent will talk about those kind of things as well.

You need to look for a class that teaches with a force on force component. Basically, something that includes full contact sparring. Something that also includes weapons, and at least the basics of grappeling.

Then you need to do some reading. I like Rory Miller's take on dealing with confrontarion. Meditations on Violence , Conflict Communications, and Facing Violence are all great books.

All of Rory's stuff makes you think and most importantly, gives you things to think about regarding using communication skills against attackers.

If you are not opposed to the idea, you should buy a pistol and learn how to use it. And by use it I don't mean how to target shoot and clean it, I mean use under stress. There are civillian classes that teach pistol skills on many levels, close range fighting, low light fighting, basic combat medicine, and much more.

If you think you are going to be accosted, or even have the chance you may, prepare. Learn skills, get gear and use your brain.

If you are looking for specific martial arts, there are many out there that can fit your needs. It all depends on where you live and what schools that are around are like. I'd rather have a Tae Kwon Do school that practiced full contact non-competition style sparring and produced fighters than a Krav school that was more like a Jane Fonda workout class. I practice Pekiti Tirsia Kali, and not every Pekiti group is the same. We spar full contact every month. We work on ground work, weapons, and communications skills. We have even had a class where we trained with Simuitions doing scenario training.

Look around and if you have any questions, ask here. You may have to install a crap filter, especially lately, but someone will try to help you out.

The Bas Rutten Training CD will get your stamina built up quickly. As a bonus, you get even more practice in!

Throw a polar chest strap on, get that HR up to 160 or so, and go at it for half an hour. In a couple of month's you'll be a machine.

I know a few people that found this book very useful for increasing flexibility. http://www.amazon.ca/Stretching-Scientifically-Guide-Flexibility-Training/dp/0940149451/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1346780113&sr=8-1

Might want to go with Thai-style pads rather than focus mitts. I've seen them as cheap as $30 on MMAHQ.com (a deal-a-day website like Woot but for gear).

Generally, they're easier to hold but not quite as satisfying to hit. They don't give as much "pop" as mitts and the holder can't shift them quite as quickly. Since you guys are just looking for the basics, I'd consider picking up Bas' workout - it's made for heavy bag but with a partner you'd quickly pick up where to hold for each other and when to switch the pads up (for knees and kicks), and the DVD would at least get you some help with the form of the strikes. Plus it's Bas, he's goddamn hilarious.

Listen- being a troll is one thing, but you’re giving advice that is not just absolutely wrong on its face, it’s dangerous.
You don’t understand the difference between competition and self-defense. Citing how a well-trained champion sport fighter survived some conflict in front of a hotel with some people doesn’t prove that competition focused arts are better for self-defense. The OP literally asked about Average Joe. So not only is your advice bad, your actual cognitive ability and literacy is questionable.
Everything you are saying is so devoid of a basic common sense and experience that I really am just going to let you get your last word in and then ignore you. Please stop giving people dangerously incorrect advice with no experience behind it.

OP: The image is from this book: https://www.amazon.com/Meditations-Violence-Comparison-Martial-Training/dp/1594391181
Meditations on Violence. Excellent read.

Probably a good read if you want to understand this stuff a little better

Plus what the other guy said too.

This is a damn good book written by a zen master on the integration of zen mediation with martial practice

Also along those lines, The Gift of Fear.

try this book out, I got good results with it.

http://www.amazon.com/Relax-into-Stretch-Flexibility-Mastering/dp/0938045288

Everyone who is serious about building power for martial arts should do these five lifts http://www.amazon.com/Starting-Strength-3rd-Mark-Rippetoe/dp/0982522738

squats and deadlifts in particular will make so much of a positive difference that there is essentially no reason not to do them.

Historiography has been particularly useful in the development of HEMA and hasn't done any harm to the traditional asian arts either.

No, you should read up more on how self-defense works so you have an accurate context for your Wing Chun training instead of just comparing it to MMA and wondering why it is coming up short. I recommend Meditations on Violence, but there are others. Then if you still are dissatisfied with your Wing Chun go ahead and switch. If you have been training Wing Chun long enough to be a teaching assistant you owe it to your body and your students to try and understand why you do what you've been doing. And if you can't be bothered to read a single 200ish page book on self-defense and martial arts then you probably shouldn't be teaching either WC or MMA. Don't switch before you do at least a minimum of outside research on the subject you've been teaching.

Edit: https://youtu.be/uPqpmSWwuGk

Edit 2: lol it's a day old account.

Man, that's a tough sell. If none of you know martial arts you cannot learn through videos.

But if you insist, regardless, I always recommend these DVDS:

http://www.amazon.com/Gracie-Combatives-DVD-Rener/dp/B002SUVCFW/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1369797572&sr=8-1&keywords=gracie+jiu+jitsu

It will give you the very basics of street grappling.

ConCom by Rory Miller is also worth a look.
https://www.amazon.com/ConCom-Conflict-Communication-Paradigm-Conscious-ebook/dp/B00IO9TTAG

Read Facing Violence.

anonlymouse said it perfectly:
>You're asking the wrong question, you just don't understand that.

Be you martial Artist or not, the reality of self-defense is often not even close to what we imagine it to be.

Read the book. It's a must-read for anyone who is serious about self-defense.

Alternatively, you can just learn to rip peoples eyes out with your fingers. To practice: Scatter 108 pennies on the ground. Pick them up as fast as you can using your thumb, index and middle finger. Perform 2 sets of this exercise on a daily basis.

There are a few popular versions of the LEAPS acronym for de-escalation. My personal favorite is:

• Listen
  
• Empathize
  
• Ask (for clarification)
  
• Problem-solve
  
• Summarize
  
  
  Also popular is HEAT:
  
  
• Hear,
  
• Empathize
  
• Apologize
  
• Take action
  
  If you make a mistake and the problem escalates, use corrective action AAA:
  
  

1. Acknowledge: “Jim, I can see that mentioning your medication is a real sore point.”
   
   
2. Apologize: “I’m sorry to have upset you. I didn’t mean to.”
   
   
3. Try Again: “I want to help, not upset you, so let’s try something else.”
   
   
   Things to remember about YOU:
   
   

• Keeping a level head is paramount. stay calm, cool, and collected. This takes practice and confidence.
  
  
• Your goal is not to be declared right. It is to find a solution to the problem. So… Ignore challenging questions or statements. You don’t need a power struggle. Don’t try to argue or convince. Try to collaborate. Try to see past what someone is saying to what is actually causing the crisis.
  
  
• Try to get agreement on a course of action. Repeat what the plan is and what is expected.
  
  
• Meet reasonable demands when possible
  
  
• Contain and control the environment. If you can limit the confrontation to one on one, without distractions, the better for you.
  
  
• Showing signs of anxiety will only make things worse. Minimize body movements like excessive gesturing, pacing, fidgeting, etc. practice controlling your vocal pitch and speed in a crisis. Speak slowly and confidently (low pitch, steady breath).
  
  
• Keep it simple and concise.
  
  
• Repetition is essential.
  
  
• Most violence comes with instructions to avoid it. “wipe that smirk off your face or I’ll wipe it off for you!”. If possible, just follow the instructions.
  
  
• Avoid clichés like “Calm down!”. No one calms down when being either patronized or yelled at. It doesn’t help.
  
  Things to remember about the aggressor:
  
  
• Empathize and validate their feelings (I can understand why you’re frustrated…etc) but don’t ask them how they are feeling (it’s patronizing)
  
• Allow them to vent. Some people just want to be heard. Listening can go a long way sometimes.
  
• Always leave them a face-saving way out.
  
• Acknowledge any any attempt to cooperate.
  
  
  “A soft answer turns away wrath,
  but a harsh word stirs up anger.”
  Proverbs 15:1
  
  Bonus material:
  
  ConCom: Conflict Communication by rory miller
  
  verbal Judo by George Thompson

Marc MacYoung and Rory Miller off the top of my head. I think there are a few more in the line. Miller's Meditations on Violence is probably the definitive one, but there are several more in the line. Strong on Defense is another classic. Those are the type of thing i mean.

I can't speak with any real authority, since I haven't read it, but according to this fellow's take on it, the origin of martial arts being seen as a spiritual endeavor can be traced back to Confucius, and I believe he speaks on this philosophy in The Analects. I would start here.

The Zen Way to th Martial Arts

This book was mentioned a couple of days ago:

http://www.amazon.com/Way-Warrior-Martial-Fighting-Styles/dp/0756639751/ref=tmm_hrd_title_0?ie=UTF8&qid=1310027174&sr=1-4

Also wikipeida:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_martial_arts

Here is the mobile version of your link

Yoink.

I'm not clicking a random wordpress article

I've read many books on karate, even the "bible" of karate, karate do kyohan and there's never been one mention of Siamese martial arts

Get a cup of coffee. Then order a copy of Rory Miller and Lawrence Kane's book "Scaling Force" and while it's in the mail, head over to Marc MacYoung's website, http://www.nononsenseselfdefense.com/

http://www.amazon.com/Scaling-Force-Dynamic-Decision-Violence/dp/1594392501

https://smile.amazon.com/Musashi-Epic-Novel-Samurai-Era/dp/156836427X/

The term for live-in student in Japanese is "uchideshi". There are some places that offer an uchideshi program, both in and out of Japan, but before you consider any of these programs, I recommend reading Angry White Pyjamas (Amazon, Wikipedia).

You should be careful in selecting any program; there is plenty of room for cultural mix ups, either as a foreigner in Japan or in your home country with somebody who isn't Japanese.

Here's an excellent book on this topic - Meditations on Violence: A Comparison of Martial Arts Training & Real World Violence

Kung-fu is not a good art to learn at home. Buy Gracie Combatives, and study that.

It's not that this question is asked a lot, it's that you literally asked the equivalent of "Teach me programming." That's a big field. No one could possibly rip off a forum post and tell you.

Here's what you should do instead. Pick up Facing Violence by Rory Miller, or any of his books, really.

Also, if you are actively looking for street fights, stop doing that.

Yes, in fact, I have one coming up here at the end of March.

My class is a 4 hour crash course, so I teach primarily (edit) maiming techniques (eye gouging, biting, groin strikes, simple punching and kicking), but even more than the physical techniques the time is dominated by psychological tools such as

• situational awareness
  
• understanding manipulative behaviors
  
• social behaviors
  
• a little bit of legal info
  
• some quick statistics
  
  One of the the books we (myself and the other instructors I work with) highly recommend is the Gift of Fear by Gavin De Becker.
  
  Two things that I stress and I stress hard is that:
  
  
• because statistically most rapes and sexual assaults are perpetrated by someone the victim knows, they MUST make the decision to injure and potentially kill someone they care about. This is not a simple decision to make.
  
• and that they should not rely on other people to help them. You just don't know what other people are going to do, so you have to assume that responsibility yourself.
  
  Hopefully, this helps, it's just a sample of all the information I go through. If you need more info about statistics and such let me know and I can give you more details regarding what I teach.

Chinese Martial Arts: From Antiquity to the Twenty-First Century by Peter Lorge covers the jian but not exclusively since it covers a bunch of weapons throughout Chinese history as an overview. In a nutshell, although some individuals managed to distinguish themselves in its usage, it was also widely regarded as a ceremonial weapon to distinguish officers and royalty. This is also why the jian is also typically much more decorated than, say, a spear would be, and why it's so popular in period cinema. It's a very fashionable weapon and a mark of nobility and class.

The broadsword (Dao) was the go-to for the purposes of practical warfare. Overall, the jian was largely disadvantaged on the battlefield compared to most other weapons but was common for personal self-defense for the simple reason that it was much more convenient to carry at all times than most other alternatives and usable in almost any circumstance.