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PLEASE read this before doing what you're planning. I know it's quite long, but I really want to help you make the best decision here.

Have you considered dressing like a monk, and carrying around cards you've printed out that explain you've taken a vow of silence? You could become a real monk and actually take such a vow, or you could just fake it. Either way would be preferable to cutting out your tongue. And if your family doesn't believe you, so what? You can explain that you actually have a phobia of speaking to them (through written text if necessary), or not. Either way, they'll still think better of you than if you follow through with cutting your tongue out.

(It would be even easier to carry cards that say "I am mute" or "I have a phobia of speaking," but you seem to have convinced yourself that you need some sort of excuse, which is why I'm suggesting the vow. If you can find the courage to be honest, then do so, but I'm guessing that might be a bit much for a first step, given that you're planning to chop your tongue off to avoid such honesty.)

In the long term, you should go to a therapist, and work out your fear of speaking. I highly recommend Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy. Check out the book "Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy" to get started by yourself. I know, the title sounds like some bullshit self-help book, but trust me, it's legit.

However, in the short term, it sounds like you're obviously desperate for an immediate solution, so I'd highly suggest you try mine.

Think about your favorite food in the world. Do you really want to take your ability to taste it, and anything else, and flush it down the toilet forever? Do you really want to lose the ability to speak, or French kiss, or anything else we do with our tongues, if it turns out there's a cure for your phobia of speaking? (And there is; I just linked it to you.)

If you're afraid of speaking, the problem that you truly want to fix isn't that you have a tongue—it's that you're afraid of speaking. I know that it's tempting to take the "easy" solution, and that the mere thought of going to therapy and practicing talking is probably absolutely terrifying to you. But here's the thing: there's nothing wrong with being terrified. Phobias are scary by their very definition. And that's not even a bad thing. A novel would be boring without some obstacle for the main character to try and overcome. We all have our obstacles. Your obstacle is not your own tongue. Your obstacle is whatever warped thoughts you are having that make your tongue seem like it is the obstacle, and that make cutting out your tongue seem preferable to having to speak to people. You can fix those warped thoughts.

> "Men are disturbed not by things, but by the views which they take of them." -Epictetus

You are not disturbed by your tongue. You are not disturbed by other people expecting you to speak to them. You are disturbed by the views which you have taken of these things.

I know it's hard, man. I'm not exactly the epitome of perfect mental health myself. But the future you that seduces and kisses the partner of your dreams is just as much of a real possibility as the future you that has no tongue, even if it seems like that's impossible. And while it won't be easy to develop your social skills, trust me when I say that it'll be a hell of a lot easier than living without a tongue.

But if I can't convince you to do the hard part right away, then don't. Take that vow of silence, or fake one. That vow will be as permanent or as temporary as you want it to be. A month, a year, or fifty years from now, you might want to give it up, and you can. Or you might want to keep it, and continue to never talk to anyone, and you'll have that option as well. Take or fake that vow, and every future You will always have that freedom of choice. Cut your tongue out and flush it down the toilet, and none of them will. Maybe the You that starts the guillotine is okay with not having a tongue, but that You will stop existing when that present become the past. The only You that actually exists is the one reading the sentence right now. And now, that You has permanently vanished from existence, and a slightly different You is reading this sentence. You can decide to take a vow of silence for current You, but please allow me to speak on the behalf of every single future You when I ask you to not force each and every one of them to live without a tongue, from the You that's in intense pain and bleeding profusely from their mouth; to the You that misses being able to taste that dish Mom used to make when she wanted to cheer you up, but now she never bothers because she knows it will just make you feel worse; to the You that's lived an entire life without a tongue and is now about to die. You deserve the right to be able to choose to not speak to people—every You deserves that right. Please, let them make that choice for themselves. I know you will find this very hard to believe at the moment, but trust me: they will thank you.

If you've gotten this far and you're still insistent on cutting it out, at least eat the feast of your dreams first, while you can still enjoy it. Carefully observe the flavors, textures, and sensations as best you can—because if you do go through with your plan, your memories of what it's like to taste food will be the best you've got. Reflect upon whether or not that's a fair and reasonable price to pay for an excuse to not talk to people, after your last spoonful of your ice cream sundae.

The Road is an excellent and pretty grim post apocalyptic book. Bonus excellent accompanying movie too.

I also found One by Conrad Williams to be exceptionally lacking in happiness which was awesome.

OK, so here's a little something from our friends at Amazon: Natural Harvest: A collection of semen-based recipes.

You're welcome.

Never. Nudity is not pornography.

For example, here's a book you can buy on Amazon, with pictures of naked girls and women age 0 to 100. The girl blowing bubblegum on the cover was, IIRC 14. It caused a bit of controversy when it came out of course, but it's perfectly legal.

Well, Dahmer was homosexual, and his victims were all young men to whom he was physically attracted. Most of them were ethnically non-white; however, Dahmer did hold that race was not a factor and considering that his interest was primarily in corpses and bones that may be true. Regardless, he wasn’t robbing graves or mortuaries, but rather selecting men he found attractive and murdering them in order to have sexual contact with their dead bodies. Bundy had a clear preference for attractive young women with long dark hair. He was not exclusively or even primarily a necrophile, but he would often return to dump sites to groom and dress the corpses or engage in necrophilic acts. There's lots of books and articles written about both men; I would highly recommend this to anyone who is interested in the mindset of serial murderers.

As far as pedophiles go, this is an interesting book regarding the mindset of sexual predators. Again, it seems like many people with a sexual proclivity towards children have a "type"--i.e., girls in their early teens, or prepubescent boys, etc.

Not totally related but I will take this time to recommend the following book. Hits all of the morbidly curious angles I have

https://www.amazon.com/Dangling-Golden-Bridge-Narrow-Escapes/dp/0345349156

Good tips. How about 2 knives and special gloves

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07SJCTSSC/ref=cm_sw_r_other_apa_i_NPi3DbWXZ0HGG

Is this a dumb idea? Of course other protective gear too.

Damn... As a writer myself, I really wish that guy had plead not guilty and fought for a precedent.

Because even classic literature can be CP

For more detail I highly recommend the book Working Stiff by Judy Melinek. She became a medical examiner in New York just before 9/11 and did a lot of work with the recovered bodies.

https://www.amazon.com/Working-Stiff-Bodies-Medical-Examiner/dp/1476727260

If you're interested, I read a book not so long ago that documented the author's struggles of living with a parent who was a hoarder. I picked it up for like 2 bucks at a random college's bookstore, but it's around 10 on amazon right now. It's called " Coming Clean " by Kimberly Rae Miller.

I highly recommend reading "last train from Hiroshima" first or second chapter is very descriptive.

Edit: Here's a link

There’s a book called Ordinary Men that delves deep into this. But yes, yes there were.

I first read about it a couple months ago in a book called "A Short History of Nearly Everything" by Bill Bryerson. https://www.amazon.com/Short-History-Nearly-Everything/dp/076790818X

It's a great book if you like random trivia and it takes a casual conversation tone to just about everything and provides great insight into stuff we normally just don't think about. He talks a lot about various scientist and has a lot of good stories about how odd many of these people were.

If you are interested, some of the other amusing/interesting bits of info from the book include:

"Best remembered for coining the word Dinosaur, Richard Owen also gave us the modern concept of museums as places the common folk can visit and not just scientists. He was also one of the meanest persons in science history and the only person Darwin ever hated."

"Carl Wilhelm Scheele one of the founders of modern chemistry, had a habit of sniffing and tasting any new element or chemical he discovered including poisonous ones. He was found dead at the age of 43, killed by his last discovery."

"In the early days of pump and hose assisted diving, there was a dreaded phenomena called “the squeeze” where the diver’s entire body would be sucked into the hose and diving helmet, leaving just some bones and flesh in the diving suit. Ouch."

“In France, a chemist named Pilatre de Rozier tested the flammability of hydrogen by gulping a mouthful and blowing across an open flame, proving at a stroke that hydrogen is indeed explosively combustible and that eyebrows are not necessarily a permanent feature of one's face.”

Someone born and raised inside the labor camp escaped. Here's his book.

https://www.amazon.com/Escape-Camp-14-Remarkable-Odyssey/dp/0143122916

I mean..... https://www.amazon.com/Natural-Harvest-collection-semen-based-recipes/dp/1481227041

Take a look at Jill Boldt Taylor's Ted talk or buy her book.

> With live animals, he explored their bodies to discover where their bones were located.

that is a direct quote from his wikipedia page. the source is this book. to me that sounds like vivisection.

maybe i was wrong about him killing cats, but this shows that even from a young age he was doing things like abusing animals.

again though, you are missing the point. his psychopathy only grew with age.

Books: "Morbid Curiosity Cures the Blues", "10 Ways to Recycle a Corpse: and 100 More Dreadfully Distasteful Lists", check for related items on Amazon for both of these books.

Buy something from oddities/taxidermy shops. https://www.facebook.com/Csoddities - I don't know if they sell online, it's a small shop, but you get the general idea.

Take her/him to the museum of death or crime or anatomy. Many cities have them.

Go to together to St. Petersburg, Russia (Russia itself is morbid enough!) to visit this museum: http://www.saint-petersburg.com/museums/kunstkammer-museum-antropology-ethnography/

If you don't have much money, buy a (fake) shrunken and from Amazon, take it out of box and say it's real :)))

This website might be also a good start to find something close to you: http://www.atlasobscura.com/categories/anatomy-museums

Edit: also this book: http://www.amazon.com/Stiff-Curious-Lives-Human-Cadavers/dp/0393324826

Not insensitive at all! This is my job, so I keep one foot in the compassion camp and one foot in the matter-of-fact camp.

It depends on the caliber of the firearm, the angle of the barrel, placement of the muzzle and general body posture. And there are infinite combinations of these things and other additional factors.

The larger the caliber, generally, the more damage occurs. Our female patient who severely damaged her face, had placed the muzzle just behind her left eye, on the foremost part of her temple. She was also very intoxicated at the time because she had been in an argument with her significant other, therefore, when she injured herself, it was an impulsive behavior and the barrel was pointing toward the front of her face. The face (and its tissues and bones) are pretty delicate and come apart fairly easily with a firearm blast. So, in her case, it was mostly direction and path of least resistance. The cranial vault (the part of the skull that holds the brain) can deflect a decent amount of force, if not directly applied.

Many people who shoot themselves in the head (again, this statement is based purely on my work experience, not on any proper study) are upset and often intoxicated, whether it be alcohol, meth, etc. And often in this state, people make impulsive decisions and they do not have a solid plan, let alone accurate geometry to cause instant death.

Another thing to consider when it comes to instant death, or lack thereof, is how intact the brain stem remains and how much brain swelling occurs. If the cranial vault has been compromised, i.e. it has been fractured or a section has been removed by the blast, this will allow room for the brain to swell and lowers the likelihood that it will protrude down and out of the opening of the base of the skull (the foramen magnum), assuming enough of the brain is left intact. This is what is called herniation and it is always fatal.

Honestly, after all of the combinations that I've seen in my department, I would have to say the way to guarantee a completed suicide would be a very deliberately placed .45 or shotgun barrel placed in the mouth.

If you're genuinely interested in how the pathologies play out in firearm injuries, you might want to check out the textbook Gunshot Wounds: Practical Aspects of Firearms, Ballistics and Forensic Techniques. It's pretty much the 'bible' on the topic.