Top products from r/self

We found 73 product mentions on r/self. We ranked the 546 resulting products by number of redditors who mentioned them. Here are the top 20.

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Top comments that mention products on r/self:

u/OhTheHugeManatee · 2 pointsr/self

This is very important and serious stuff.

The first question you need to answer is: "Do I want to live my life with a woman who doesn't love me?" You DESERVE to live your life with a woman who loves you, but whether you want that is up to you. I guess there are people who are happy to have a loveless marriage. If this is you, ignore the rest of my comment.

If you want to live your life with a woman who loves you, understand that this was part of the deal you accepted in marriage: to be loved in return. Right now you are not receiving your part of the deal, and that's not fair to you. She also deserves to live her life with a man she loves, and anything less isn't fair to her, either. If she can't ever give you that love, then the appropriate course of action is to end the marriage and find someone who CAN do that for each other.

But I hear that you want to work on it, and that's a great course of action. It's totally possible for you guys to change so that she can rediscover those feelings of affection.

My point is that this is a very serious situation. In the long run, this will end in unhappiness and probably divorce. Facing that kind of future, it's OK to take drastic action here. In fact, this is the time when you SHOULD be taking drastic action! People change jobs, move houses, and even move states to save their marriages. This is THAT kind of action time.

No matter what, I can promise you that just waiting to "see where things go" is going to end in unhappiness and divorce, if you have any self respect. Without effort and (usually) help, "where things go" is more of the same. And that's not fair to you, to her, OR to your child. This will take work, and she has to be willing to do that work with you.

The most important thing is that both of you want to work on this. It won't work if it's just you. So sit down with your wife and talk about it. Tell her that she deserves to be in a relationship with a man she loves, you deserve to be in a relationship with a woman who loves you, and your child deserves to grow up with an example of a healthy, loving relationship. You want that woman, that relationship, to be the two of you together. If you can get her to agree to work with you to try and rekindle the affection between you, then it's a green light to go ahead. If she refuses, then there's actually no hope here.

Assuming you get that green light, this is how you work on a relationship:

  • get to a couples therapist. I hear that she doesn't want to, but if she wants to work on the relationship, that's how you do it. Remember that this is a joint decision; just because she doesn't want to doesn't mean it's off the table if YOU want it. Saying she wants to fix the relationship but doesn't want to go to a therapist is like saying you want to fix the car but don't want to involve a repairman.
  • While you hunt for a therapist (and it takes some looking to find someone you both like/trust), look for books and resources that can give you ideas for where to direct your efforts. You should BOTH be doing this. Some good resources:, the 5 love languages,, No More Mister Nice Guy. These resources helped me and my wife recover our relationship, and there are others. Read them together.
  • Set a weekly meeting time to talk about how you've been feeling about each other over the last week. put it on the calendar, and go out of the house for the meeting. This is when you can talk about what seemed to work, and what didn't. What moments where she felt good, and when she didn't.
  • recognize that this is your problem too: you guys have built a relationship where only one side is feeling the love, and TOGETHER you have to fix it so that both sides feel it. She is feeling the symptoms, she can help you figure out where some of the problems lie, but you both will have to work to fix it.
  • Work on yourself. Take up a hobby that you've always wanted to do, and return to an old hobby that you haven't gotten to do in a long time. Take the time to do things for you, because you deserve it. These activities seem trivial, but they go a long way towards anchoring you in this difficult time.
  • Last, but I have to say it: sometimes people say "I love you, but I'm not IN love with you" because they've found someone else who gives them a hormonal rush the way you don't anymore. If your gut is telling you to be jealous of a male friend of hers, trust it and do what it takes to satisfy YOURSELF that there's nothing going on there.

    Good luck, friend.
u/RankInsubordination · 3 pointsr/self

Hmm. Sounds like a lot of negative bias (...went and got better friends...How do you know?). Unless you suspect/know that as a friend, you haven't had any real practice at making, having and keeping a good friend or two. I've known people who had tons of friends, and were always going off to do something or other in some group or another. That wasn't and isn't me.

First things first, let's get rid of the negativity. This book was recommended to me by my therapist. I link it this way so you can read the reviews and an excerpt. It's been in print for over 20 years, so there's definitely something there. I have given several copies as gifts to friends and family.

I felt better (in a "Hey! I'm OK! And it's going to get better") -kind of way, after the first section (50 pages). If you can be honest with yourself, you can change the way the life looks.

Since it's been in print so long, it's almost definitely at your local library.

Oh, and the "being a better friend" part of everything? It will take some concentration, and maybe even some list-making, but, can you picture the person you admire most, because of the way they treat people?

That's the template for you. Write down everything that impresses/pleases/surprises you about that person.

There's your "personal improvement list". But I'll spot you one. If you want to become closer to someone you've met, ask if there are any "get around to it" projects you could help them with. Shared labor, donating time for a less-than-wonderful task just because you like the person, these are some of the things that cement a friendship. Go out of your way to help the people you really like, ask nothing in return, and come and go from their presence with a smile on your face. You will be thought of as a good person to be around just on those qualities alone. "Cast your bread upon the waters" is the way the Christian Bible puts it

Friendship is either stupid easy, or it requires some maintenance, like perennial plants. But as Vince Lombardi said, "Once you set a goal for yourself, the price you pay is immaterial".

If you believe you can be a better level of friend, you've got nothing to lose but your loneliness by trying to help yourself attain that goal by changing your worldview, vis-a-vis what it is that makes a "real" friend. If you ask 25 people what makes a good friend, I bet you get 18 different answers. Just find the right ones for you.

u/_kashmir_ · 2 pointsr/self

Not too late at all, I'm so pleased you have decided to participate this year.

Sometimes accomplishments aren't big or memorable, even if you didn't do anything life changing this year I'm sure you accomplished things in your daily life - getting good grades for example, making your parents proud, being there for a friend, facing a fear, overcoming a hardship, and so on.

I think it can be helpful to plan out how you are going to achieve your goals. So...

  1. For goal 1, you'd like to gain weight and get stronger. How much weight would you like to gain? How are you going to get stronger? Maybe you could go to the gym x times per week? Or do x amount of deadlifts/bench press (or whatever it is, I don't know anything about lifting haha).

  2. Goal 2 is to be more confident. There's loads of threads and subreddits about confidence, as well as Youtube channels such as Elliot Hulse and Robin Sharma, and books such as How to Win Friends and Influence People.

  3. I think if you achieve goals 1 and 2 you will stand a better chance of achieving goal 3 (to get into a relationship). And goal 4 (getting your life together) will be a combination of all of your goals.

  4. Find out what you really want. So I assume since you said A-Levels you are from the UK (me too) and it seems that you're either in the last year of college or in year 11?

    What subjects have you chosen to study in college? What decisions are people trying to push you towards? Maybe writing it out here will help to organise your thoughts. I recommend taking a few of those online 'career decider' quizzes, I think Ucas do one. They're surprisingly helpful!

    It's great that you are travelling to Indonesia and will get to experience new cultures, but I recommend that you don't go there with an expectation to 'find out what you really want'. It's just that I've seen many, many people my age (22) do the same sort of thing and they come back with more confidence and lots of great stories and memories from their trip, but it didn't really help them in deciding on a career path. I think it would be beneficial to speak to a careers advisor at college or spend lots of time researching possible careers online.

    Well, that's all for now! Hope it helped :)
u/thelandon · 1 pointr/self

You described me in high school to a tee. You are an introvert living in (probably) THE MOST extroverted country in the world. No wonder shit's tough. There is nothing wrong with being an introvert. Please PLEASE watch this TED talk by Susan Cain:
If there was one book I wish I'd read before middle school, it's her book, "Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking". When people say that "such and such a book changed my life" I feel like smacking them in the face - what single piece of advice could do a human life justice? If ever I was to proclaim that something helped NEARLY that much, it's this woman's research.

Also, I dissolved a good portion of my depression by changing my diet. Look at Mark's Daily Apple and soak in as much as you can from that guy:
It's probably the purest diet you can follow. However, the easiest diet to follow is the slow-carb diet, which is nearly the same, and much more fun:
Tim Ferriss, the one who created the diet, has a book I found to be an inspiration, "The 4-hour Workweek"

As far as work goes, you must find something that makes you feel alive! This is easier said than done because our schools and our whole system don't work that way. Ken Robinson gives you the details as to why:
You might find his book helpful as well: "The Element: How Finding Your Passion Changes Everything"
Also, travel can really clear one's head and make one feel alive. No one explains that better than Walt Whitman in "Song of the Open Road". If you've ever wanted to know how to travel for months on end I suggest the book "Vagabonding," by Rolf Potts:

Sorry I sort of went apeshit on you. I'm just excited to share what has helped me. Twenty months ago I went through a similar hell, and the minds I describe really helped me.
I sincerely hope you escape the doldrums.

u/seeker135 · 1 pointr/self

Got a book for you, OP. This book was (I wish they would sticky this comment or the link, because this is the real deal) recommended to me by my therapist, who has met the author a couple of times. He says Dr. Burns is as nice a person as you could meet.

This book, now in print >20 years, solved problems I didn't even know I had. Since reading it, I also have not been subject to the type of depression that would hit me and exacerbate my PTSD. I have the tools to just "make it go away". It's effing awesome.

Perfectionism is right in Dr. Burns' "wheelhouse". You will find the tools there to eliminate it. It's a faulty POV, and he shows you the why, the how, and from there, if you want the "who" and the "when", you can probably get them, too.

Don't get me wrong. I despise self-help books. Almost all of them are a long version of either "Quick, like yesterday, take advantage of special circumstances that are not generally available any longer", or "First, Pull Yourself Up By The Hair".

David Burns, MD. has written a life-changing book. I recommend it most highly to anyone who has a desire to "clear out some clutter" in their mind. Or anyone looking for more internal peace.

I will tell you a secret. In the time period up to reading Dr. Burns' book, I was addressing myself, in my "inner voice" as, "expletive". Yup. A great all-round mood-lightener, don't you think? Dr. Burns made me aware that, among other things, how you address yourself, in your inner voice, can make worlds of difference in how you face the world.


u/patwaldron · 1 pointr/self


My favorite book is The Natural Way to Draw by Kimon Nicolaides. Extremely intelligent book on drawing. Great for an intellectual introvert.

If you like forums, take your choice, actually there are many forums at wetcanvas... it looks like there are two here, open critique or structured...

u/pompitous_of_love · 5 pointsr/self

Certainly, if you're not used to going barefoot, you can easily hurt yourself when making the transition.

I'd like to make the case that there is a continuum extending from (1) a very primitive totally barefoot society, through (2) a long period of human development when "shoes" consisted of very primitive foot coverings, (3) a long time when shoes were visually similar to modern shoes, but not "scientifically" designed with human anatomy in mind, to (4) today, where arch support is common, and Nike even sells shoes with microchips embedded in them.

Somewhere in that continuum is probably the optimally healthy range. I contend it is stage (2).

Millions and millions of years ago, our forefathers ate nothing but raw food, because they didn't know how to use fire. That was perfectly fine, then, when other aspects of their mental, physical, and social makeup allowed them to be successful living that way.

But when man conquered fire, and learned to cook, human anatomy changed. Human jaws became smaller, making it possible for large brains to develop, without killing mothers in childbirth.

That's still probably the optimal stage to be at, in terms of diet. Modern diets blew past that, and our bodies haven't really adapted to all the sugar and fat we shovel into them.

In "Born to Run", Christopher McDougall makes the case that the reason so many runners get injured, is because modern shoes offer too much support, and the dozens of muscles, tendons, and ligaments in our feet don't get the kind of varied exercise that we evolved for. Not only walking and jogging, but jumping, sprinting, fleeing danger in any direction, as quick as possible. Then those weakened tissues are easily injured.

But it's probably been a long, long time since our forebears did all this completely barefoot. We probably don't have the proper skin thickness to propulsive force ratio to avoid lacerations anymore. Instead, I contend that our feet are at the "adapted to early technology" stage in our development, the same way that our jaw to brain-case ratio reflects that we are optimally adapted to eating a cooked food diet - an adaptation which is dependent upon the cultural transmission of a learned technology. Why would it be any less astonishing for feet? Perhaps the best foot covering is a sturdy wrapping, made of breathable plant or animal material, such as dried fibers or animal skins.

I agree that you're likely to get injured running around like that, if you're used to arch support. It might take time to adapt. There are a lot of people in this world who never have to learn to adapt, because they've been running around without arch support all their lives. And I doubt that they have the foot and leg problems of people in the developed world, just as they have less incidence of cancer, heart disease, and diabetes.

u/Mentalpopcorn · 1 pointr/self

Since you can't afford a therapist, the next best thing might be the sort of therapeutic approach you'd likely take if you were able to see a therapist. One of the major schools of modern therapy is called cognitive behavioral therapy, and one of its pioneers has written a book called Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy. Personally, I found it incredibly helpful in fixing some extremely negative thought patterns I held for a long time.

Studying ethics also helped me a lot, as it inspired a sense of greater purpose and a duty to others. There's plenty on the subject to read, and I especially recommend Ancient Greek philosophy, as it is a bit less abstract and more focused on the individual and how to live a good and fulfilling life. You could start by reading about Aristotle's virtue ethics, which focuses on good character.

u/mfskarphedin · 10 pointsr/self

I have...had?...BPD. Long-short, I never thought I'd ever get better, especially after 2 years of individual DBT therapy that did nothing. Finally learned there is no such thing as individual DBT and joined a group. After almost 2 years of the group and then continued individual DBT support, it's amazing the changes in my life. BPD is curable!

I know the problem from both being the one with BPD and having to remove from my life someone with BPD for my own sanity. It's a shitty thing to deal with from both ends. You don't need anyone to center yourself and your recovery around; you are the center of your own universe. Find a DBT group and give it a try.

BTW, I'm 40 years old and was diagnosed in my early 30s. I lost my soulmate over this, but I'll live. You'll live, too.

You can try this workbook for the time being to tide you over. I like McKay much more than Linehan.

Oh, I read through some comments before submitting. Yeah, find a therapist, not a psychiatrist. Shrinks are just pushers where I live. If you need meds, ok, but for therapy, your best bet is to not count on them for much in the way of patience. BPD times a lot of time, understanding, and SKILL to overcome!

u/elbereth · 2 pointsr/self

The Five Love Languages.

It's really helpful if you can get past the somewhat 'touchy feely' aspect of it. Definitely worth the read, especially if you get the version with the 'quiz' in the back. helps partners determine each others' love language.

u/Moxie1 · 2 pointsr/self

The more you care about the people you are talking to face-to-face, the more people will notice. If you smile when you are talking on the phone, it is detectable on a subconscious level. But the trick is not in the talking. An effort to "speak from the diaphragm" will deepen you voice slightly.

But the secret to being well-thought-of is to LISTEN. To everyone who holds a conversation with you. If you do not have a very good memory, write things down. People's birthdays, the names of their kids, dogs.

Another way to look at it is "you can't learn a thing while you're talking".

Finally, something to jump-start the whole shebang: Feeling Good, the New Mood Therapy.

First of all, I despise self-help books. This one is different. There is no jargon. I was literally feeling better about myself before I finished the first chapter. Yes, I know how facile and "happily ever after" that sounds. I am not lying. The book showed me how to approach data in a more productive manner.

It's probably available in the library.


u/itchytweed · 1 pointr/self

Just read the TL;DR, but I will say this:

In my marriage, my husband LOVESSSSS birthdays. He wants a parade in his honor, a cake and a huge party and a big deal to be made ALL DAY LONG. He's crazy about it. I don't particularly care about my birthday. I would be better off if people just forgot about it. As such, I forget that other people really like a big deal to be made. I'm really crappy at birthdays and frequently drop the ball on, yes, it is possible to drop the ball on a birthday yet still care about a person.

You might consider reading 5 Love Languages. It explains how some people can find a certain kind of love important while the other finds it non-important. Once you learn what is important to your SO, these sort of mistakes will not happen with the same regularity.

u/zimzamzoom2 · 0 pointsr/self

> should I stop trying?

Absolutely not, this is reason to keep trying. You just haven't met your true friends yet, but you will eventually.

If people aren't returning the invites or hanging out, drop them and move onto other people. It's pretty much like dating in that regard, you'll get time wasters and flaky people however if you rummage through enough shit you'll eventually find some treasure worth keeping!

On a side note, I keep hearing people recommending the book How to Win Friends and Influence People. I'm not sure if it is any use to you (I haven't got round to reading it yet, procrastination..) but thought i'd mention it anyway.

u/themamahomie · 1 pointr/self

I would echo the counseling recommendation and also suggest reading the book Boundaires by Cloud and Townsend. It is a REALLY hard thing to do - to set boundaries on your parents. Sometimes it feels infuriating that you, the child, have to be more wise and thoughtful than your parents. But it really will help in establishing a more healthy relationship. Best of luck!

u/MetacomCreative · 5 pointsr/self

I have just started reading Allen Carr's The Easy Way To Stop Smoking after hearing all of the amazing reviews. So far it seems like a good read, and supposedly it helps you to quit with minimal to no withdrawal symptoms.

One of the points that I really like about it so far, is it tells you to not think about the process as "quitting smoking" because that makes it sound like you are sacrificing something. Instead, you are actually escaping the trap of smoking.

u/WildYams · 1 pointr/self

A while back I bought a bidet attachment for my toilet (only $35, including shipping from Amazon), and it works flawlessly, so as a result, they're all no wipe shits for me. A nice bonus was that when I recently fucked up my wiping hand, I didn't have to attempt to wipe with my other hand since I had the bidet to take care of everything. I'll never go back to wiping now that I've seen the light :)

u/hanharr · 1 pointr/self

it's good that you at least have an understanding boss! i would still try to branch out if you have healthcare that covers mental health services. a lot of primary care physicians don't really understand or care about treating mood disorders. you can do a quick search on amazon for what would suit you best but i personally liked using this book when i was struggling more severely with my obsessive compulsive disorder. if you're not interested in paying money for something like that, a lot of books in this genre are easy to find around the internet too. hope that helps at least a little bit!

u/TargetBoy · 7 pointsr/self

For an interesting read on this topic, there's a book called "No More Mr. Nice Guy" amazon that does a pretty thorough breakdown on the "Nice Guy" who never gets ahead and what they can do about it.

Turns out a lot of things that the "Nice Guys" do aren't very nice and are what are turning women off, not the need for "jerks".

u/_juicy_thighs_ · 6 pointsr/self

You might have a mild case of OCD. My brother was diagnosed that way. One of his main symptoms was having to wash himself multiple times in the shower, resulting in 2 hr long showers consistently. Or he would have to lock the door to our house like 30 times in a row, just to make sure it was locked. He's been seeing a therapist for a few months and he has improved greatly.

I'm no expert, but the way you described your symptoms reminded me of my brother. What worked for him was a therapist, an OCD CBT workbook and some SSRI medication.


I believe that's the book my brother is using. You can do it yourself, but a therapist will make a world of difference. Good luck.

u/Shagata_Ganai · 1 pointr/self

You need this book. Recommended by my therapist. Turned my life around by turning the way I thought around.

It's inexpensive, and you can feel the increase of positive feedback in your attitude pretty much right away.

u/blanketjackson · 3 pointsr/self

Allen Carr has an amazing book that helped me quit my 5 year smoking addiction. I highly recommend it. This book will free you of cigarettes for life.

u/whats_going · 1 pointr/self


Most artists rehash their work again and again. It's the baby steps approach. Draw the same thing everyday, it'll get better.

I have posted only finished art, I'll PM you the link.

Once I post more of the evolution of this project, I can share the link here.

Here's a rule to follow from Kimon Nicolaides author of the Natural Way To Draw. Draw half a page everyday.

He give more directions but that will do it. You'll see incredible progress quickly. My contribution to the daily drawing is draw the same things differently everyday.

u/PrettyJokes · 1 pointr/self

Yoooo dawg during my time I struggled too but this book helped alot idk if it'll help u but it certainly made it much more easier to go through n I really can't thank this book enough

u/se7eneyes · 1 pointr/self

This is actually a pretty good book. Being a "nice guy" isn't actually a good thing.

u/cweave · 1 pointr/self

If he likes movies then these:

u/Sarkia · 2 pointsr/self

The last time I saw someone on reddit have this problem, this was linked:

I've never had a chance to read it (I might do soon), but I've heard it's very good.

Also, here's a summary if you're super lazy:

u/quix117 · 2 pointsr/self

first of all, you are more than capable of doing well. if you plan well and work hard in a college environment, you will find success.

buy and read this book. take it seriously. it has some great advice.

go to class. no excuses. you will end up spending exponentially more time covering the material on your own than if you just went to class.

about the phone thing: i have trouble with it, too. you need to stay out of your room as much as possible and study in a public place, preferably a place where other students are studying (like a library). i can't stress this enough. every time you go into your room, you're going to end up wasting at least a half an hour on the internet (like i'm doing right now).

if at all possible, don't bring your phone or laptop or any internet-capable device with you to class or to the library. you can't get distracted by the internet if you don't have access to it. i'm twice as productive when i don't have my laptop with me. if you can afford it, buy hard copies of your textbooks.

u/hlazlo · 1 pointr/self

In case anyone in the US is looking to get a bidet on the cheap, head to Amazon.

$26 is all you need.

I had a similar model in my old apartment. It took like 15 minutes to set up and it was easy to remove when I moved. It gets water from the supply line for your toilet, so be sure you're okay with whatever temperature that happens to be at. If not, spring for a model that has some mode of controlling the water temperature. A stream of ice cold water on your asshole is not pleasant.

u/pmoney24 · 1 pointr/self

I recommend the book "Getting Things Done" by David Allen. It's an entire organization system, but it makes so much sense that you actually see the benefit of putting it into practice, and you just do it as a result.

u/virtualroofie · 2 pointsr/self

> There is a book that I think is called "The seven languages of love" which explains that some see physical contact as a sign of love.

Would you mind linking that book. There are some titles that are similar but nothing that matches what you mentioned exactly.

Edit: I found two, both by the same author - one is specifically aimed at men. Link 1 ... Link 2

Are either of these the one you were thinking of?

u/GodDamnItFrank · 1 pointr/self

I would suggest reading the book "The Road Less Traveled" by M. Scott Peck. It is one of my favorite books and has helped me a lot. It was recommended to me by my father.

u/[deleted] · 1 pointr/self

I am a former alcoholic.

Allen Carr saved my life. My dad's too, after being an alcoholic for like 30 years. I've never felt better.

u/snr0n · 1 pointr/self

I cut that first quote off at that point because that's where I snorted with laughter. Including the full thing doesn't actually make it any more reasonable! The fact that you don't understand that would seem to be one of those flaws I'm referring to later on. I never said that I knew everything about you specifically, I just pointed out that people who love to stew in their bitterness and blame women for the fact that they're permavirgins usually have other shit going on that they're not aware of. You're obviously a pretty unpleasant person, so I have no real reason to help you (beyond making my own Reddit experience less facepalm-worthy), but I'm gonna recommend you check out this book and see if anything resonates.

u/UnkDrunkle · 2 pointsr/self

Feeling Good - The New Mood Therapy Changed my life. In print for >twenty years. Recommended to me by my therapist.

u/squidboots · 2 pointsr/self

You should check out this book called "No More Mr. Nice Guy", it describes exactly all this and gives some good exercises for how to overcome the shame, anxiety, and guilt that drives these behaviors. Overall a fantastic book.

That said, my only gripe about that book is that the section that covers the "why I do this" (upbringing, familial relationships, gender identity, etc) is a bit forced and, at times, borderline counterproductive. I actually prefer the explanations given in a book called "Anxious to Please." A lot of the same basic concepts are covered as in the Nice Guy book but the way it's explained is much more intuitive, and I think it is a lot broader in its relevance to people.

u/SnailHunter · 1 pointr/self

People have given you some good advice. In the meantime, this book may help you with your depression. It's under $10.

u/AardvarkGak · 1 pointr/self

I kind of have the same problem. I'll get "grumpy" for almost no good reason, and I have trouble shaking it.

I did years of CBT counselling, but finally saw a psychiatrist (rather than a psychologist). He has me doing Dialectical Behaviour Therapy, which is hard work, but I no longer feel helpless to control my mood like I once did.

I started with this book, which was ok, but overwhelming. I'm now doing a group class, which I really find helpful.

u/SomeDudeInGermany · 1 pointr/self

Just throwing this out there for everyone. I bought one of these 2 and a half years ago and it's still going strong. Bullseye every single time. Women can even lean forward slightly and wash their mommy parts. I would pay triple for another if mine broke down.

u/crazyex · 3 pointsr/self

I would also suggest this

u/Gorgoleon · 1 pointr/self

So it goes.

The Road Less Traveled helped me straighten myself out a while back. Check it out.

u/kmikz · 1 pointr/self

A great book that really helped me understand why I was nitpicking at everything was 10% happier. After I understood that a quieter mind is a happier mind I started to quiet the mind when I went to sleep by focusing on my breath. No special positions, no chanting, no candles. Just focus on the breath. It helped me get faster to sleep and significantly improved my quality of live because of that (I used to turnover for half a night and be miserable at work the day after). Also I'd recommend The power of now by Eckart Tolle. It says it's a guide to spiritual enlightenment, but what I took from it was that you have to live for today, not tomorrow. Always planning ahead is quite exhausting. And it really opened my eyes about perspective.

u/cliveholloway · 1 pointr/self

Humor me and go read the Easyway to Stop Drinking.

It's not as good as his stop smoking book, but if you've already stopped, it's an interesting read.

Sounds like you need a change of scene, man. I don't know your personal circumstance, but if you can take a month out and just go somewhere new, it might help clear your mind (I'm currently hiding out in Costa Rica for 6 weeks after having a bad split with my girlfriend :/ )

u/Novelty_Frog · 2 pointsr/self

I don't claim that this book will solve your problems, nor do I know your history or current life circumstances. But, try reading this.

u/order66survivor · 3 pointsr/self

I don't think a two week vacation is going to cut it. If that's the case, read this and start thinking about it.

Also, your SO and family probably do not want you to be miserable. People can tell and life is way too short to pretend to be happy.

u/xorandor · 2 pointsr/self

Read this book:

Those stress fractures you're facing could be preventable.

u/1n1billionAZNsay · -6 pointsr/self

I know it's obnoxious but I also don't think that just because something is obnoxious people shouldn't be allowed to have them if they enjoy it. Try sleeping next to one of these. It helped both my babies with sleeping through annoying neighbors.