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Also sober 3 years. I'm pretty sure 98% of recovering alcoholics are all or nothing people...we struggle with moderation in so many things.

I hate counting calories. Its just another goddamn thing to frustrate me. A few months ago I decided I'd focus on getting stronger rather than lighter. I spent the first month lifting weights 3 times a week but not eating healthy. Fuck it, pizza? Sounds good. Burgers? Yep!

I followed a plan called StrongLifts 5X5. You start off low weight and add 5lbs per workout. Before I knew it, I had some muscle under my flab. Then I started realizing I wanted to SEE those muscles. At that point I started taking my diet more seriously. I learned a lot about how to train and use my food to support that training. I'm not all the way there, but I like the results so far.

I have gotten numerous compliments from coworkers, women have started flirting with me a little, my girlfriend has been VERY happy with the changes AND I have a ton of energy to play with my kids. I also dropped 25lbs and got some definition in my arms and legs. For me, Lifting weights>losing weight

I also incorporate at least one hot yoga class into my routine. The yoga is great for mindfulness (which has been mentioned in other comments). You are stuck in a hot room, sweating your ass off, standing in strange positions and its hard for anything else to invade your thoughts. Even an hour of clear thought is super beneficial. My girlfriend does 2-3 a week, she loves it.

I know a lot of women think that weight training will make you bulky, but its all about choosing what you want. You can hit the weights and keep a slim female figure. I have read some really great things about [Strong Curves] (https://www.amazon.com/Strong-Curves-Womans-Building-Better/dp/1936608642) and Lift like a Man Look Like a Goddess ( Book Link).

If counting calories doesn't make you happy just try something new. Find a healthy thing that makes you feel good and do THAT thing, then do that and try add another healthy thing. See what sticks and focus on that.

You got this!

Sorry for the wall of text! Sobriety and exercise are 2 VERY important things in my life and I love talking about them.

yep, everyone is busy and has their own insecurities and they most likely don't even notice you - so, relax, nobody is judging you. I've got respect for anyone that's willing to leave their house and put in some hard work.


it turns out everyone else at the gym is just a normal person and most people there are friendly. if you aren't sure how to use something or what the etiquette is for a machine, just ask someone! this will make them feel like a badass and they'll be happy to help.


I would encourage everyone to do some amount strength training. Don't be afraid of free weights(especially barbells)...they aren't just for meatheads and are some of the best training implements available. That said, having good form when moving heavy stuff is important. Some people can learn good form from reading books, but others(like me) feel more comfortable with a little coaching. I've had a good experience with the Starting Strength book and certified Starting Strength coaches as I started to focus more on strength training. I would absolutely recommend both resources to someone just starting strength training.

Night Runner 270 Night Gear... https://www.amazon.com/dp/B018EK6RUY?ref=yo_pop_ma_swf