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Thank you for sharing your story, you never know it may help someone else get out of a similarly terrible situation a little earlier. My mom is also BPD and very religious, I cut all contact with her when I was 26, and I have considered myself an atheist for many years since getting away from her toxic influence. It will take time to rediscover yourself, there’s a lot of damage to sort through. A couple things that helped me, were the out of the fog forum ( https://www.outofthefog.net/forum/index.php )specifically the forum for children of parents with personality disorders. Also, the book surviving the borderline parent. (https://www.amazon.com/Surviving-Borderline-Parent-Boundaries-Self-Esteem/dp/1572243287/ref=nodl_ ). Lastly, the support and validation I received at the forum and from my sister saved my sanity. I’m sure you’ve suffered a lot of gaslighting, and that, and least for me has done some of the most lasting damage, not trusting myself or my own thoughts/memories. I’m thinking of you and hope that you can have a life that is yours now, and not controlled by your mother’s mental illness. You know yourself better than she does. Have faith in yourself and your power. You are a good person who deserves to be truly loved unconditionally. ❤️

May I ask your gender? Here's why I ask:

If a church is able to manipulate a young man into not masturbating until the second year of college, that is really remarkable. Sperm die in a week or less and the other ways of getting rid of dead sperm are less effective. Sexually mature men who go months without having an orgasm have temporarily impaired their fertility, so there are instincts that discourage that. See Baker's Sperm Wars or his more technical book on the same subject. I have read the former.

If a young woman doesn't figure out how to masturbate, it is less surprising. Some women never figure it out and are nevertheless able to reproduce.

> I watched and read any material by Richard Dawkins and Lawrence Krauss, as well as seeking out the viewpoints of other scientists I respected such as Neil Degrasse Tyson.

Tyson isn't really a noteworthy scientist. When it comes to astrophysics he's been lead author of a handful of forgettable papers. And that was decades ago. He flunked out of his first attempt at a doctorate.

Since his brief and mediocre career in astrophysics his thing has been over simplified pop science. And he often gets his science wrong. He mangles even high school math and physics. Check this physics subreddit thread. There is a fellow giving a credible argument that Neil doesn't even deserver the label "astrophysicist".

I believe both Sam Harris and Lawrence Krauss were with Tyson at Beyond Belief, TAM6 and other pseudo skeptic conferences. Where Tyson would deliver one false history after another and they apparently accepted them with out question. Which shows they too are happy to swallow bull shit if it seems to support their personal prejudices. These hypocrites don't truly practice the skepticism they preach.

>I also have the hope that religion does more good than harm. I know looking back on history that is hard to imagine

It is hard to imagine if you subscribe to the false histories Tyson teaches.

For example his history of the Islamic Golden Age is full of invented alternate facts.

He will maintain Newton was crippled by his reliance on the the God of the Gaps. But his arguments are downright silly and misinformed.

The Church has been around for two thousand years and includes billions of people. It's inevitable that Catholics have done bad things. But in my opinion the net effect has been positive.

Everyone has their prejudices and confirmation bias. And that includes people like Tyson, Krauss and Harris. Exercise skepticism towards their claims as well. Here is a different take on Catholic history: How The Catholic Church Built Western Civilization. Of course Dr. Woods has his own confirmation bias. But if you want to get the whole picture, you need to listen to different points of view.

I did not say that.

You imply that secular humanism (relativism in your words) is the cause of evil in the world. Yet people are oppressing and killing in the name of their absolute morality. It seems we've had this dominant "absolute mortality" for a while and I don't think it has had a good track record.

If you want a groundwork for secular objective morality maybe you should read The Moral Landscape by Sam Harris. And you should also look up the Euthyphro Dilemma.