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u/theblondbeast · 2 pointsr/thelastpsychiatrist

Thanks for sharing - I've had a lot of these concerns myself and I don't have much to offer over the internet. I would not pretend these issues are easy.

The solution I mentioned is the short road. The long road is of course embracing some existential bitter pills and working through them. For instance - it doesn't matter what you do. Whatever you choose to do with your life won't really matter to anyone else but you, and certainly not in the way it matters to you. There is no guarantee that even the best of accomplishments will do any good in the long run- I think here of Norman Borlaug and the Green Revolution which fed billions, only to overpopulate the planet. (https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0307961699/ref=ox_sc_sfl_title_1?ie=UTF8&psc=1&smid=ATVPDKIKX0DER)

One way you can find what really matters to you is to deeply contemplate the question why do I care that my life is empty and meaningless and I will someday die?

I think you'll find that "guiding priciples" are much more about culture than focusing on "what do I care about?"

The hard part about this is it takes some maturity to admit that a lot of what we care about is hard to swallow - which is where shame enters the picture. It helps to understand how other peoples anxieties and fears propel much of their behavior - this includes the "narcissism" epidemic.

u/MasterNotFreak · 0 pointsr/thelastpsychiatrist

> A "good closer" would be actually, you know, saying good-bye.

When I read Animal Farm on a kindle it was without knowing the plot, without knowing how/where/when the story would end (also had no page count/completion bar to track progress). Finished the last page of the last chapter and swiped the screen, expecting more. Wanting more. Surely it couldn't end here? But it did.

Reframe the blog as a book. Posts are chapters. When you get to the end of a book does the author have to tell you good-bye?

>One sentence would do it: "Peace out guys, not really into this blog anymore, later."

Why do you think the author had that attitude about their blog/book? Who Bullies the Bullies is a satisfying final chapter. Tied up the themes, essence and ethos of the blog/book quite well. If I could edit the order of the posts/chapters I'd put the [Hipsters On Food Stamps series before it] (http://thelastpsychiatrist.com/2012/11/hipsters_on_food_stamps.html)

>What would you think of someone who "ghosted" you in real life?

Ghosting? It happens. People drift apart. Has happened to me in real life. Seeing as you asked, what would I think? The person who 'ghosted' me has a life outside of my own. Hope that they're doing okay. Wish them happiness and health.

A question for you /u/thebecolony:

Why do you think Alone 'ghosted' the audience?

Humour my perspective...

If perchance we were to use our imaginations and see the blog as a book told in first person perspective, then The Last Psychiatrist is the title of the book and Alone is the narrator. Not the author.

Strongly recommend you read The New York Trillogy by Paul Auster. Specifically City Of Glass

Won't spoil it. Anyone on this sub who has read it will most likely see what I'm getting at.

>Why aren't you angry at Alone?

Why would I be angry at a fictional character?

>...He made you feel small. He made you feel unworthy. (The problem isn't x, the problem is you.) Maybe it's more correct to say he confirmed your feelings of smallness and unworthiness. It's what got him clicks. So when he finally disappeared without a word, you felt like you deserved it.

Why would I feel that way about an author finishing their fucking story?

u/Saiserit · 1 pointr/thelastpsychiatrist

Isn't this simply an ability to hide one's sources? University and grad school is little more than passing off the ideas of one professor to another professor and pretending one had original thoughts on the subject. It didn't work so well for me because I later found out my two favorite professors, in two different departments, happened to be best friends. That was a tough semester!

There is no such thing as originality, just decay and remix.

Yes, I stole that thought, as well. From a new york times bestseller, which I highly recommend if you work in the creative field: https://www.amazon.com/Steal-Like-Artist-Things-Creative/dp/0761169253

I made a post some time back about the underlying meaning of the PhD process across social science fields, the point was the "sincere" creation of a brand new symbol which qualifies for inclusion on consensus reality, thus why they are ah-"worded" get it-haha. "Defend your thesis" = Swindle the panel into considering something within the discipline's boundaries that they don't already "know."

u/CAAAAAAAAAAAAT · 1 pointr/thelastpsychiatrist

I don't care much for it personally so I don't know much about it, but if I were to kindle an interest, I'd probably dive into the literature. This is the first thing that comes up on Google.

Georges Bataille, Simone de Beauvoir, Anaïs Nin, Audre Lorde etc.

Or forget the West entirely. Kama Sutra, tantric techniques, religious mysticism...

I don't think any of this requires much intellectual firepower. It shouldn't, it's intercourse. I'd probably have my partner read different stuff than me so we can have idea sex while having physical sex. Could be fun?

u/jazzyb · 2 pointsr/thelastpsychiatrist

If you are interested in understanding Hegel, I recommend reading Kojève. He makes Hegel somewhat more intelligible.

u/shamefestival · 3 pointsr/thelastpsychiatrist

Interestingly, the neurological evidence is building up for the relationship aspect of therapy actually working, but the theory doesn't really matter.

This book on the topic is on my to-read list: The Neuroscience of Psychotherapy: Healing the Social Brain

u/Top19 · 2 pointsr/thelastpsychiatrist

Great post. Earlier today I was reading TLP's critical takedown of The Atlantic's Lori Gottlieb (sp?). Later that same day I came across another, just as brutal critique (poor lady) in this book: The Selfishness of Others: An Essay on the Fear of Narcissism https://www.amazon.com/dp/0865478236. Point is all this stuff is still quite relevant.

Also thanks for the key words "Remix Studies" and "Paul Foster Case". Have had fun researching them online over the last few minutes.

u/tetsugakusei · 3 pointsr/thelastpsychiatrist

> feelings are valid

This isn't a New Age commune. We are trying to work out a strategy to end his spiral of ruminating on ruminating.

>We are organic machines

This tendency to 'biologise' is a distraction. The guy has a certain thought-structure that he needs to escape. We can talk about biological structures and chemical processes for ever, but he actually wants to get stuff done. I am telling him a method, a short circuit, that works on those suffering from stiff, immature thought dynamics.

EDIT:

I recommend a read of David Shapiro's 'Autonomy and Rigid Character'. This will allow you to see the extraordinary damage from believing that all feelings are valid. Damaging pathologies are created by the habituation of actions that lead to a rigid character.

u/DankStory · 5 pointsr/thelastpsychiatrist

"Optical Media" by Friedrich Kittler. A challenging slow-going read but with large elucidating concepts. I consider Kittler a more serious, more rigorous McLuhan. For example he makes clear the connection between war and media, something McLuhan completely missed.

u/lakai42 · 2 pointsr/thelastpsychiatrist

You described the behaviors and defenses arising from NPD pretty well, but where do these behaviors and defenses come from? Or in other words, why do Narcissists have delusions, a lack of moral shame, and pursue externalized success objects? What drives the behavior?

You responded to my question twice by telling me to avoid pop diagnosis. You criticize my criteria as pop-psychology - an appeal to authority - but offer no source for your own criteria for NPD, even after I asked for it. Is "Neurosis and Human Growth" by Karen Horney pop psychology? Is Apfelbaum's essay "Ego Analysis Vs. Self Psychology" pop psychology? What about "Disorders of the Self"? I don't think it's necessary focus on credential waiving in order to discuss NPD, but if you need it in order to take me seriously, then here you go. The writers above all describe NPD and other personality disorders as behaviors driven by shame. Usually from shame arising because of a lack of a secure attachment in childhood.





u/greatjasoni · 1 pointr/thelastpsychiatrist

https://www.amazon.com/Elephant-Brain-Hidden-Motives-Everyday/dp/0190495995

Your post reminded me of this book. It's all about hidden motives and how everyone lies about everything to themselves and others all the time.

But I think that's reality. There's no such thing as objective except for what is socially agreed on. If you see a ghost in front of you, and your 3 friends don't, then you're crazy. If you see a ghost in front of you and they do too, then the ghost is now objectively real. Supposing it's a mass hallucination or "real" both would be indistinguishable. If you think something is novel then it's novel. Objectivity might exist somehow but you have no access to it directly. All you have is your own experience, and objectivity is a construct you imagine within it. Your own experience is one where you have all these hypocritical motivations for everything. Now you have them, and you think they're valid even if they fall apart under logical scrutiny, and everyone else has them too. That makes them more real than the logic you used to dismiss them. You first experience the emotions, then only on top of that can you think your way out of it. That's why I say you're projecting. I think you just have really shitty emotions, and you can't help but see reality through that lens because that's how it manifests itself to you. That is reality, to you. Just not necessarily to everyone else.