Reddit reviews How Not to Make a Short Film

I recommend reading How Not to Make a Short Film by Roberta Munroe.

She is/was a screener for Sundance. Lots of good stuff here, even for the beginner.

If you're into cinematography this is a great pack of information: http://www.ascmag.com/store/product.php?productid=16627&cat=0&page=1

Another book i found useful was 101 things i learned at film school: http://www.amazon.com/101-Things-Learned-Film-School/dp/0446550272

And this book taught me everything not to do, and even though after reading it i hate the author, its great learning: http://www.amazon.com/How-Not-Make-Short-Film/dp/1401309542

It's a little broader then just the script aspect, but this is a pretty good book on the whole subject of short films.

Actually managed to have a proper watch through and have some specific stuff to say:

1- It's a little surprising to me that this hasn't gotten any more screen time than you say, because mostly it's much better shot and acted and written than most shorts, so on a purely technical front it should be doing at least a little better.

2- The directing (and occasionally the editing) is very 'safe'- you usually stick to mids, you don't do anything particularly exciting with composition (using a few front-on frames, side-on two shots), and at a few points the cuts (6:41 has a pan of the stadium for a few seconds) just seem to add unneccessary content in. It's a bit of an insecure film, and that makes it feel sort of like children's TV- the story is told at a pace where the characters are behind the audience most of the time, and the lack of a shot of the dead kid makes it feel more like that as you're avoiding something nasty.

3- You're relying too much on your music, it really doesn't need so much. About 6 minutes of this is scored as far as I can tell- it's just dictating to the audience what they should feel, and it's a big turnoff to audiences (and therefore programmers).

Overall, it's a good story told well, with pretty strong technical features and nice child performances. But it's also deeply sentimental, a little overlong, very TV safe, and has no stand-out imagery or plot points in it. These things are the sort of considerations which festival programmers have which rarely ever occur to filmmakers. Don't take it as a reflection on your work (except for the specifics I pointed out)- take it as an invitation to understand more about how fests work and how you can get your film shown at them. I'd recommend How Not To Make A Short Film by Roberta Munroe- I'm not convinced she's the best filmmaker I ever read, but she programmed for Sundance for years, and her experience there is very interesting. With some of her advice in mind, my short A German Word (which is far worse in many respects than this film) played at Aesthetica and London Short Film Festival.

This is a great little book if you haven't read it already.

I recently read this and it was both helpful and encouraging, "How NOT to Make a Short Film: Secrets From a Sundance Programmer" http://www.amazon.ca/How-Not-Make-Short-Film/dp/1401309542

Edit: Added title in comment