Reddit reviews Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It
We found 6 Reddit comments about Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It. Here are the top ones, ranked by their Reddit score.
Fun fact: Not really fun, but Chris Voss did an AMA about his new book on negotiation recently, and it's absolutely fantastic and a really useful tool. Highly recommended and very applicable to our profession.
Actual Fun Fact: One million seconds is slightly more than 11 days. One billion seconds is over 31 years.
Six digits in pay. No degree or certs.
Everyone around me is practically the same.
I was recently hired onto my current position and my manager told me that he interviewed over 30 others. Those others all came from HR with degrees and certs and he and his Sr Engineer could easily tell they were bullshitting. Then they came across me and essentially made me an offer the same day. "You're the one one who knew stuff, wasn't an entitled dick, and could take a joke". I negotiated +15k on their offer too btw.
Reading material.
How to Win Friends & Influence People
Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It
> I LITERALLY can't get total silence/attention from the class for more than 5 seconds. I wish I was exaggerating.
Once you have a rapport with your class, all it often takes is standing in front of the class and observing with a certain stance them until everyone gets the hint that it's time to move on.
>Even if I walk right up to a student and ask them to stop shouting across the room to their friend while I'm giving instructions, I'm totally ignored.
This is reactionary behavior correction. The students know they have you on a leash. I do and she reacts. It's a total mind game. Ideally, you are moving around the classroom preventatively once an assignment has been instructed in order to be there for them. Many behavior issues stem from first not knowing what to do/how to do it, which moves into a place of frustration, which then needs to be relieved through some action other than doing the work.
> They give each other titty twisters right in front of me, constantly use the desks as drums, and run with scissors regularly. One kid started playing Nintendo Switch during book work, as if I wouldn't notice??
Scissors and titty twisters: Why are there scissors if they don't know how to use them? If I were the principal of your school, I would remove scissors from your classroom. That behavior could cause major injuries and you would be liable, not the students. Same goes for hands on each other. That student is touching another student inappropriately? He's out. Principal. If it's both of them, send them separately. As for the NS, confiscate if he/she won't put it away.
> My local coworkers have told me that in elementary school (8th grade is considered the first year of middle school) they basically have very few rules and very little structure, and most of the kids have probably had maids their entire life and don't get much structure at home, and that this behavior is typical and I just have to get used to it. Maybe because I'm American but I just can't??
Who are you local coworkers and do they have similar issues? My suggestion would be to seek advice from professionals in similar situations who seem to have it under control. Confirming your bias with inexperienced people may make your situation worse.
> It makes going to work very stressful and it's frustrating because a lot of these kids are really smart and could be leagues ahead of where they are now if they just listened to FIVE MINUTES OF INSTRUCTION PER DAY, THAT'S ALL I ASK.
Your standard is too low, and it's destroying your self-esteem. You do not get paid for 5 minutes of instruction every day. If you think that's all you're teaching, you're going to think you're not doing the best you can. You are instructing the entire time you are in the classroom, and outside of it. The work you do outside of the classroom, including this post for help, constitutes work. You are doing an excellent job, but much of the "magic" you see in other classrooms by experienced teachers is the result of years of practice and refinement or acquisition of those skills in previous jobs/experiences. You can't be too hard on yourself; you just have to learn!
> This lack of disciplinary foundation is making things very difficult. All the internet research I've done gives strategies that assume students basically know what constitutes misbehavior, and that they're not supposed to do it (give them a pointed look, walk over to their desk subtly while you're talking, don't interrupt class to address the misbehavior and take the student to the side later, etc),
This means you need to show them what behavior is correct. Brush up on your psychology, learn about positive and negative rewards, how punishment is a tool too often used, how kids are encouraged by challenge and by comradery. They answer well to interests in their interests and love to share stories about their lives. Your challenge is to listen and to use their interests and lives to leverage their learning. Some kids like some famous pop singer? Turn an assignment into a contest where the winner gets to choose what music they listen to during project time. Another kid loves Minecraft? Show them some interesting Minecraft creations that relate to the topic for the day.
Using this kind of positive reinforcement will also help you with that pesky
>legally required to get a second chance to redo any and all assignments/tests/quizzes (including finals) that they get below a 70% on
rule. Unfortunately, we as educators often get stuck in the number game and forget the real learning is in the process. How many times did your math teacher say "show the work or it's wrong." That's because there are so many ways to get the end result through disingenuous means. But when you show the work, it proves you have a deep understanding of the problem AND the solution and how they are intricately related. (P.S. if you don't get paid super well, try looking up intangible classroom rewards.
> Additionally, it's not just one or two students goofing off - it's the entire class, including the "quiet" kids, so not drawing attention/interrupting class is not really an option since class is in a constant state of disruption.
Final thoughts: is this your only class? Do you have other similar classes to compare this one to that don't have this kind of behavioral disruption? Terrible metaphor time: when cutting a tomato, if the slice isn't fine, you don't get a new tomato. You sharpen the knife.
I see teachers in your situation a lot, and you are one of the few who comes to ask for help instead of just grinning and bearing it. You are making an effort to improve the education and lives of your students. Keep it up!
This the book you’re looking for:
Never Split the Difference
https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B01COR1GM2/
The best in depth explanation I've ever heard of this principle is in the book Never Split The Difference.
Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01COR1GM2/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_3mimDbPRASS92
u/mhurron has a great point here. Similar outcome matrix to this book i listened to recently. I highly recommend it.
Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It
https://www.amazon.com/Never-Split-Difference-Negotiating-Depended/dp/B01COR1GM2