Reddit reviews Of Parrots and People: The Sometimes Funny, Always Fascinating, and Often Catastrophic Collision of Two Intelligent Species

Charlie's 3 basic rules for having a psittacine (parrot):

1. Parrots are messy as hell. It is their job. In the wild, they scatter seeds by dropping half eaten food (expect to waste A LOT of food). In addition to food, they shit everywhere. They will shit on you, your friends, your couch, your rug, etc. EXPECT IT. It is part of having a bird in your house. This is NOT something that can be trained out of them (at least not without endagering their lives).
   
   
2. It is not a matter of IF you are going to be bit, but WHEN you are going to be bit. You WILL get bit at some point. Be it anger, fear, or whatever, it will happen eventually, and even the small birds can hurt like hell. In addition, you MUST TAKE the bite. In other words, if you pull away or freak out, you will essentially train them to do it more.
   
   
3. Parrots are NOT PETS. Pscittacines have been found to have the equivalent intelligence and emotions of a 3-5 child. In the same way that you'd never call your own child a pet, you shuldn't call birds pets. They are friends, companions, feathery children, and most importantly FAMILY, etc. To treat them as any less is a travesty and nothing short of abuse in my opinion. They are simply too smart, too emotional, and too needy to call them a pet.
   
   Now, that said, if I havn't scared you away and you have the patience of a saint, then you might be a good choice for taking on a bird.
   
   Now I will tell you flat out, that parrots are all at once the most amazing little bundles of joy while simultaneously being the biggest pains in the ass.
   
   I love my fids (feathered kids) more than most people can imagine. I wouldn't sell any of them for a million dollars, but there are times when I want to ring their necks.
   
   So the golden rule is simple...Ask youself this question: "Would I be as happy and could I handle having a child of my own?"
   
   Obviously they aren't exactly the same (normally you get arrested for locking a child away in a cage), but its pretty damn close.
   
   If you're still with me and still interested I have a couple of requests for you:
   
   
4. DO YOUR HOMEWORK! Read as much as you possibly can on the subject...general care, species specific info, nutrition, etc. I HIGHLY suggest "The Companion Parrot Handbook" by Sally Blanchard. This is hands down the best book I've read on care and especially parrot psychology and behavior.
   
   
5. ADOPT! 99% of the birds in stores are born via the bird equivalent of puppy mills. Don't believe me? Read "Of Parrots of people" by Mira Tweti (and be prepared to cry...I did.) In addition, I'd say 80% of people who buy a bird have no idea what they are getting into and can't handle keeping them...thus they are abandoned or sent from home to home. Parrots are flock animals...moving them from flock to flock is very traumatic to them (think how a 5 year old child would feel if mom and dad just left them at a new home...I've literally had parrots mope or even cry for days from this). And if thats not enough, you can find birds that need homes EVERYWHERE...craigslist, petfinder...its not hard to find people trying to adopt out birds. I've been given THOUSANDS of dollars worth of birds for free over the years. No I'm not kidding.
   
   
6. Make it a FOREVER home! Again, it is traumatic for them to go from home to home. There is NO REASON to send them away unless it is a matter of health. Wife pregnant? Doesn't matter...you wouldn't give up a child because a new one is on the way. You just adapt your life. In addition, birds are not programmable. Like people, they develop their own personalities and quirks. LOVE THEM FOR WHO THEY ARE. You might want a talking parrot, but the one you get might never utter a word. You might get one that HATES you but LOVES the SO. You might get one that throws tantrums, one that gets into loads of trouble if you aren't looking, one that plucks his own feathers until he's permanently bald and ugly as sin. Sorry, but it is still your job to love them and treat them like family. Some of these quirks might be removable by excessive training, but it's no guarantee.
   
   
7. Remember this is often a lifechanging event much like having a new baby. I havn't been on a long vacation for years because I can't take them with me. I've canceled the purchase of cool toys for myself so I could afford something the birds might need (vet bills SUCK). Ever been sick or just dog tired after work and you just want to go to bed? Too bad, they need your attention.
   
   Citation: I 'own' 5. I've rehomed dozens. I havn't been to school for any of my knowledge, but I've read everything I can get my hands on, plus i have many years of first hand experience.
   
   P.S. Here's me with Irene Pepperberg.
   
   P. P. S Sorry if I sound like I'm lecturing...shit who am I kidding, I AM lecturing. And I'm not going to apologise for it. Parrots are my biggest passion, and I've cried far too many tears for these amazing animals and what we as humans have done to them. We humans need to completely understand the repercussions of our actions and especially what kind of mental anguish we cause when we arrogantly believe we are a superior species or callously ignore their emotions.
   
   If you are still interested and understand the size of the decision, then I (and many other rescuers) welcome your assistance. May the FSM have mercy on your soul.

If you want to get really depressed, read Alex And Me by Irene Pepperberg to learn about how intelligent and empathetic parrots are, and then read Of Parrots and People by Mira Tweti to learn how they're treated in commercial 'parrot farming' operations.