Reddit reviews Spiritual Friendship: Finding Love in the Church as a Celibate Gay Christian
We found 5 Reddit comments about Spiritual Friendship: Finding Love in the Church as a Celibate Gay Christian. Here are the top ones, ranked by their Reddit score.
I think today all the major branches of Christianity recognize that a non-heterosexual orientation, by itself, is not sinful. However, many Christian churches still believe very strongly that sexual acts outside of a heterosexual marriage are sinful.
One of the biggest problems stemming from that belief is there is very little thought put into the role in the church for gay people willing to actually try to live a celibate life in the church. Most churches revolve around "family" ministries. Sunday School for children, youth groups for teenagers, marriage courses for married couples, and single ministries where it's kind of assumed men and women are on the lookout for potential mates.
I heard Dr. Wesley Hill speak on the topic of friendship in the church, from his perspective of a celibate gay man:
https://www.amazon.com/Spiritual-Friendship-Finding-Celibate-Christian/dp/1587433494
He asked very challenging questions about friendship, and why we do not take it more seriously. Like, we think very hard about how it would impact our spouse if we were to move to a different city for a job. But we think almost nothing of the impact moving will have on our existing friendships. As a celibate gay man, he was much more aware of the value of non-sexual friendships, and was able to point how bad so many of us married people are at valuing and investing in friendships outside our marriage.
I'm not sure if that answered your question. But I guess I just wanted you to know, sadly, many churches have not fully thought through how to truly make people like you feel completely welcomed and integrated and affirmed in the body of Christ, and I'm truly sorry that is the case. I understand there still may be a fundamental disagreement on whether or not sexual expression outside of heterosexual marriage is sinful or not, but if churches put more thought into positive roles for people with non-heterosexual orientations, they might be taken more seriously when they claim to "hate the sin but love the sinner".
Not saying that books are the answer, but Wesley Hill might be someone up your alley. In actuality, his book has helped me as a heterosexual tremendously (dealing more with self-loathing in my context) as he struggled to deal with his homosexuality and still be faithful to God.
Here is his current book: Washed and Waiting
His second book is coming out, too: Spiritual Friendship: Finding Love in the Church as a Celibate Gay Christian
Edited to add: This blog may help you.
Maybe you should read Spiritual Friendship by Wesley Hill.
At the very least it might give you some hope of not being "forever alone" as a celibate Christian.
It's not initially easy to be a side B, gay, celibate Christian, but it becomes easier over time + some stoicism, but I do think it is rewarding. It's not some morose life of half-fulfillment unless you want it to be.
It is a very full, very rewarding life if it's one you're willing to seek.
Feel free to PM me if you need someone to talk to.
To /u/Catholic_Dad: As another gay catholic man, this is really a fantastic response that hits all the important points. I came here to make my own post summarizing it all, but /u/fulltimeguy really hit the nail on the head.
If you want some other resources to share with your son or to look at yourself, here's the list that I often send to people facing this issue (some of these aren't specifically Catholic, but are Christian and hold to the conservative sexual ethic):
Also, as another user posted, Fr. Martin's Building a Bridge has some pretty good points on how to start having conversations about this. I particularly recommend this one for you to read, though not necessarily your son at this point.
Edit: You could also check out EnCourage, which is a catholic group for parents/family of lgbt people. It's a companion program to Courage, which is for the lgbt people, but I wouldn't necessarily recommend Courage for your son at this point - it's really more oriented towards adults, especially those who have lived/are living a sexually active life with members of the same sex.
I read Spiritual Friendship last year, and it really spoke to me.
I always recommend Life Together as a must read.
The Power and the Glory is probably my all time favorite book.